X-RATED: He tickles my vagina??!

0:00Simply put, he hasn't ventured further than the flaps.

0:18Hi! Let's talk about sex, baby. Oh, shoot! I forgot! Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things. What's the next one? and the bad things that may be let's talk about it's like giving pitch perfect let's talk about oh I was getting confused I thought that was from Glee but of course it's from pitch perfect yeah you're cut you're cut I should give that another watch you know where I often watch that what did they say you're cut yeah and then what was the next line it was like you're cut we're the Barton Ballers oh yeah I'm what all the boys called it's right there we're the isn't it Barton something as well no the symphony the trombone oh yeah it's a T it's a T we're the we're the tempo we're the it's the Barton we're the Bart and Bellas and the it's a team let me google it and you guess someone listening is screaming this down their microphone right now and we're the pitch perfect squads and we're the the boys do you want to join the what is it yeah the Bart and Bellas oh we're so close is it right it's right it's like the trombone trombadors it's one word the trebles no very very close what's the trebles very very close the treble threats you're you're you're the trombone trebles you're so close isn't it the trebles the trebles stick with treble really treble it's one word but it sounds like two what does treble sound like you're gonna be in you're gonna be in big treble so what does treble sound like treble threat no oh treble listen to me if you're in treble it's like oh don't trust him he's uh he's a trouble the treble makers the treble makers for sure the high notes and the BU harmonics for sure they were called the trebles were they the trebles the treble makers treble threats is a better name treble threats is way better treble threats but then there needs to be three of them right well not necessarily no because they're triple threats they're triple threats so it's like dance act sing with face sing act with quadruple threats dance dance act sing triple threat yeah so oh my god yeah gorgeous so we meet concept for a film really well really i do think though in america there were there's a lot of the acapella groups oh it's a oh okay because you know how it's the societies at college yes sororities and so it's like you've got to join a group get in that get into the community What club are you in?

3:42Yeah. I do... Acapella. Acapella, actually, on the side. Yeah. So I do think it's like an American thing. Nice. Where, like, they compete. Imagine if we had that. Chess tournaments. Chess tournaments. What's the public speaking? Debates. Debate class. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, basketball. Soccer. But obviously they don't have netball. Netball. Do they? Yes, they do. Why would they not? Is netball not? Is that not a British thing? I thought it was an international sport. Because I feel like the - It's in the Olympics, is it not? Oh. But I feel like at Carlet, I feel like - Netball. But it's like, we don't - Why didn't like the girls - Why didn't we get to play basketball?

4:27We did. Oh. Did we not? Not that I didn't want to play netball. Yeah. Goal attack. Goal defense. I'm GT. Yeah. goal goal threat we have decided to bring back oh yes of course sexy episode so we've done one of these before and if we say so ourselves you guys seem to thoroughly enjoy and we appreciate all the feedback so we thought let's bring it back keeping it new and fresh here on the keeping it new and fresh we are yet to get a sex therapist in this discussion but we're working on it because And we're going to get the professionals on board. As we've said before, we are not sex experts. Or therapists.

5:10Or therapists. But we come pretty close. I mean, I did watch episode one of Virgin Island. Let's talk about that. No. Okay. Let's not. Moving on. I've told Sophia. That's me told to shut the fuck up. Don't even watch it. I'm not going to. I feel Dorin. Don't even watch it. I don't think I can continue watching it. So if you didn't listen to our last episode, This is basically just the episode where we get a bit more X-rated. Your dilemmas. Last time we had an online dominatrix. We just get a bit more juicy, don't we? So our question of the week is, what is the worst unsolicited sex tip a man has ever given you?

5:54And like, I can actually just picture it now because like - Me too. They just think like, like they're so good in bed. and like you know you should do this and i'm not talking about like someone who's gonna talk you through it i'm talking about um like i didn't this is unsolicited advice um okay oh my god no no no i'm nervous this is how actually actually stupid men are no no they actually do not know the woman the anatomy of a woman no oh my god because this man thinks no no no no just wee a little bit so it gets wetter. There's so... Two different holes. But also like, do you not realise that I'll get a fucking UTI if I'm shivering up my own piss up my vagina hole.

6:39But that's not... Wait, piss is not a lubricant. No. That is... That is... That's the thing that's gonna do is wet the sheets. It's a smelly water, you knob. You idiot. If anything, it's gonna make it drier. That's not the same thing. And also like, that's not gonna make me feel sexy see if I've got to piss a little bit. Don't moan too loud. It's cringy. Shut up, you knobhead. Oh, someone here said, so this is a guy saying, but other girls like it when I do that. And I'm not like every other girl, you loser. What a weird thing to say. Sophia, what a weird thing to say. Yeah. Well, but I don't like it.

7:21Yeah. Other girls like that. Don't be offended. like it's okay if I don't like something you oh my god have bigger boobs then I'll come quicker fuck off are men okay micro penis man don't don't moan like that wait wait are men actually saying that have bigger wait I thought this was gonna be I thought this was gonna be tips and tricks imagine you're naked with someone he goes have bigger boobs I'll come quicker than what what the hell why would you say that in that moment why would you actually why would those they don't care sophia they literally they're inconsiderate they don't care they literally think they're god's gift right what what what are the unsolicited tips to adjust my posture while i'm on top sit up straight you're just arching you back baby you're hunching

8:20get loose just starting to push your head towards it while giving a blowy oh like grabbing your head and you're like don't fucking grab my head right trying to guide you did your ex tell you to make those fake noises why are we hating on the noises why are they hating on the moon my friend got told to spell her name when on top it's getting mad the stallion when i ride the dick i'm gonna spell my name sarah oh when girls rock their hips like that it doesn't feel good when girls rock their shut up all right you should watch a video on how to what what you should watch a video on how to shave your pubic hair right to look like the porn stars

9:17unsolicited exactly. Shut up. Like, so what if there's a bit of razor burn? Shut up. Like, it happens. But also, like, why is that? Why does he want you to, like, assume you look like the porn stars. What are you trying to say? Like, what? What? You don't look like the porn star, mate. Yeah. To jiggle my boobs more when on top. Jiggle them. But wearing socks leads to a better orgasm. Oh, I don't think so. Why would, what's the... And he said that. It's cutting off the blood circulation. God, get wetter quicker so it's better for him. Sorry, sir. You're just doing a bad job at turning me on. As in you can tell your vagina to get wet.

9:59The reason he can't make me finish is because I'm too used to my vibrator. Your skills are lacking, sir. Sound like you're enjoying it. Even if you're not, it helps me feel good. oh my god mid-sex pulls up porn hub to show the right way to do it like a fucking tutorial who are these men who is that a tutorial this one guy always liked it when i tickled his gooch are the gucci to put your apple watch on to wrestling mode wait babe before we get started let me just okay i'm ready what does wrestling mode do to check well it's like it's like activity isn't it oh so it logs it's like log the calories as an exercise to change position every 30 seconds i felt like I was on a fairground gonna be sick maybe you have had an orgasm and you just don't know it babe babe you've got no idea we've do you know what the most common one here which I really didn't expect is men telling women to like be quiet yeah and like not make as much noise yeah what's that I don't like your fucking grunting you fucking grunter yeah I would have thought it would be the opposite that's that surprised me that one.

11:30But then there was that guy saying... Be quiet. No, and the other guy saying, make sure you moan even if you're not enjoying it. It makes me feel good. Yeah. What do you mean? Don't use your teeth not to make noise in the bedroom. What? You want complete silence? Apparently so. Like, what if I'm going to catch my breath? This one guy made me put stockings on every time we had sex.

11:56Yeah, and literally, he sent me a link to Pornhub to show him how to suck his willy. the link the link like is that saving your fucking tabs mate how many like what's going on here oh my god what is going on here oh my god that's so funny oh here's a link no here's a link because it's like hashtag we're not porn stars we're not porn stars right unrealistic expectations yeah wow these men hey we need to be giving them some tips really literally right let's see what dilemmas we've got for us today oh my god I'm gobsmacked by that

12:43just before we get into it quick disclaimer just to say we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about this is a light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you, you know? We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

13:09Speaking of moaning and sexual noises, we've got here something similar. Bedroom dilemma, baby cries and dog whining. What does brackets WLW mean? Let me look it up. ah okay we think it's women loving women oh okay women loving women got it wait so we've got a dog and a baby in the house or she's just sounding like a dog and a baby oh okay right let's but i don't know we'll find out um hi girls just want to see how much i love the pod feel like you guys are my older sisters i've never had and love listening every week thank you so much sarah speaking of which i found myself in a bit of a what the fuck moment and could really use your advice for your sexy episode.

13:52I've been seeing this girl, we'll call her Sarah, for a couple of months now. Things are going well, she's funny, smart, great company, and the physical side of things started off really strong. The first time we slept together, everything flowed naturally. It was amazing. Honestly, no complaints. But then second time around, things got a little different and strange. From whose part then? Okay. I was going down on her. Again, everything seemed fine at first. But then her moans started sounding off. Oh, it's her moans. Literally like a baby crying. Whee! Yeah. At first I thought maybe I was imagining it.

14:37Yeah. But it really did sound like a newborn was in the room. Really? I was a bit taken aback. Not because I was like grossed out by her, but just because I didn't know what was happening. So I paused. A new sound unlocked. Yeah, I paused and gently asked, is everything okay? And she said, yeah, why? Completely unbothered. Oh, what, thinking it was like more of a pain sound. Just like, I'm just checking in. Yeah. Like, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I let it go. And I assumed maybe it was just a one-off. Yeah. Fast forward to the next time we're in bed, and it happens again. Except this time, the noises were less baby cry and more sad dog whimper.

15:20that's really good yeah like a high-pitched wine that sounded so specific i actually had a moment it's giving that yeah really great sound effects thank you just trying to add visuals for everyone thank you i actually had a moment mid-sex where i thought is this animal cruelty here's the thing though she clearly enjoys herself she initiates often and she's told me she likes it a bit rough which i am not necessarily used to so she's confident she's enthusiastic maybe she does like it animalistic yeah she's trying to embody the animal but you would think it would be more of a growl or a purr less of a yeah interesting no doubt she's just very unusual right they're honestly a bit distracting and i found my i find myself getting so in my head about it that i'm not fully present yeah i've thought about maybe covering her mouth during sex.

16:14Oh, okay. Yeah. But not in a creepy way, more like a hand. Yeah. I'm into that just to keep the mood from getting derailed. But I don't want to make her feel self-conscious or think I'm trying to shut her up. Right. You don't want to give unsolicited advice that we've just discovered. She's expressive and I'd never want to shame her for how she sounds. It just completely throws me off. Yeah. So my question is, how do I handle this in a way that's respectful, but still honest? Is there a gentle way to bring this up without making her feel awkward or ruining the vibe we've built or do i just need to get over it and adjust would love your thoughts because right now it feels like i'm sleeping with a cartoon character and i'm not sure how to navigate it i see i think that first time you had sex she was holding back a bit she must have been because maybe she is insecure about the noises she makes and maybe she was holding back a bit now she's like really comfortable with you she's like but she's not even like going crazy with the noises.

17:11Well, she is. But she's just... The baby scream. Oh yeah, baby crying. So I think she was holding... I'm thinking she's like whimpering. Like... I'm not thinking she's like going crazy. But she said a high pitch baby scream. And you're like... No, I think you can bring this up in a really easy breezy... Do you? Oh my God, okay. Yeah, 100%. Picture this. Okay. I'm in bed with my lover. Right, okay. we're cuddling, maybe we're laughing, banter. She said, you guys, you said you guys have great banter. And then it's just like, you're very expressive. But maybe not the word expressive, but you just bring it up.

17:54Like, I'm not really much of a moaner. You are though. And just, and maybe talk about, and just laugh about, like, it's not, it's not like you need to stop that right now. Like how these men are saying it. Like, who told you to moan like that? like we're not saying that yeah but just like uh we're talking about what we do when we're having sex yeah oh you you are expressive you like to and then maybe it will make and then maybe she'll open up to you and be like oh well people in the past have told me that they don't like the sounds or and then what are you or maybe she's like oh i'm aware that you know sometimes i do sound you know a little animalistic but then it opens up the like natural conversation yeah because you know right now like you're not saying anything and you're kind of like what the and then it's throwing you off she's like just doing her thing yeah she's in the moment just chat about it yeah i wouldn't critique no exactly but maybe just like talk about it because then you might understand more that oh this is just her she's not you know she's not in pain and then maybe you'll get i mean what about just like we why don't we like put some music on let's have a bit more like ambience around us what song so that it um if I was your boyfriend I never let you go no we're lesbians oh sorry if I was your girlfriend um right what else could we do when to become one is that Dave no that's a Spice Girls oh wait wait no wait wait oh yeah yeah yeah I think yeah let's just let's have some music it's gonna be a sex and why don't we just ask her like do you like it when I make noises exactly like what do you want from me like what's good for you like do you want me to be quiet like let's just I agree let's just have an open conversation about noises and just what we're doing in general like what do you did you like that when I did and then see what she you might get a bit of a doorway into an explanation for her noises I think so otherwise I feel you're just gonna have to put up with it because I think the minute you start saying like that really turns me off she's it's gonna like it change it yeah oh now i feel a bit vulnerable a bit awkward like now i feel a bit like i'm being critiqued in the bedroom and then you kind of start to retreat and then she's not going to feel as comfortable because she's thinking oh she didn't like it when i did that so she's not gonna like it if i do that or that yeah you know yeah so but just have a chat about like things you like and don't like maybe don't necessarily say that that dog whinging noise you make is freaky as fuck you could say just say yeah that's really unique yeah that's really you know i'm not really much of a moaner have you noticed i've noticed that you are very vocal and just just chat like you're in bed yeah having a giggle no having a giggle yeah and like let's just see what happened you need to talk about it if this is going to progress.

20:51Yes. Well, because you need to talk about your sex life anyway. Because that would put me off. Yeah. Whining like a baby wine. Yeah, whining like a baby cry. Yeah. So just like have an open community talk about, and she might say, oh, well, I really love when you do that, and not so much, like, I don't really enjoy that. Yeah. And that's when you could then say, oh, that's interesting, because I don't really enjoy when you're... Yeah, and it's not that, I think it's good to say what you like and don't like. That's how we're going to get to a synergized... Place. Place of... sexual relations sexual relations that is just beautiful and blossoming yeah how interesting a lot of noise talk so far yeah interesting right take it away

21:39speaking of guidance in the bedroom maybe this brian could use some advice i mean we've not read this but sarah's um line here is sarah's header is help my boyfriend tickles my vagina so it's more of the gentle

22:04does he want you tickling his penis i'm sure not i mean maybe tickling his gooch someone does okay is this something where like maybe as in like as in like he'll only tickle it yeah or it's like he's going down there for a little bit of a joke and a laugh right i don't know or is he doing that in the bedroom and you're like that's not what you're meant to do down there yeah that's not what it's like maybe he's like yeah that would be armpits neck maybe feet but like don't tickle me anywhere anyway yeah or is it like he's had a past relationship or girlfriend where she liked that yeah and they just thought right this is what all girls like you know unlocked unlocked all these women like to be sickled on the bazoon look out right hey girls slight dilemma here lovely girls so much came to the planet tour at the royal halbert hall last year never thought i would write in but i fear i've no other option oh my god sarah settle in thank you for coming to the show thank you this is our um gift to you gift to you thank you for buying a ticket so I'll give it to you some context me and my boyfriend let's call him Brian have been together for a month oh it's fresh so we're just learning each other's likes dislikes yes how each other moves in the bedroom we're trying new things yeah it's like maybe you're doing things you haven't done you're experimenting together it's like what do you like I don't know you yeah this is still a new penis to you right and his vagina is sorry your vagina is new to him yes He clearly thinks it's ticklish.

23:39Yes. I've met his parents. So this is serious. I was introduced to his penis merely two months ago. Okay. We should start saying that because it is its own entity. You know. Yeah. Being. Being. Attachment. That moves. Of its own free will. Yeah. What's the word? Not vicarious. What's the word? It moves. Independently. Yes. To him. Do you know what I mean? like it has its own life because you can't really control it no it just happens when it happens hey yeah when the word blushes exactly when the blood rushes yeah when that blood rushes I feel the rush right we see each other often so it's going really really well and we're progressing okay we are both pretty inexperienced so we are figuring things out together as we go along that's really nice that's beautiful there's something about learning together and being yeah trial and error connected and you know experimenting like that okay i fear he thinks this is what's meant to happen down there okay gentle finger you know we are both okay okay i mean he needs to be careful that he's not going to scratch you so he's got short nails i know so be keeping and as far as i'm aware he's got nothing to complain about in that department i mean maybe he is using his nails because a tickle to me is like with nails no all right so as far as i'm aware he's got nothing to complain about in that department if you know what i mean yes sarah babes we know what you mean unfortunately i can't say the same he is terrible at fingering me right yeah okay it's okay so he's not doing it like it's like yeah he's trying to be serious and do it well.

25:34Okay. This is where you just have to guide. You need to guide. I think he, he, yeah, he's not sure where some things are and maybe he needs a bit of a signpost. And also like it is a, um, it's a maze down there. You know, it's complex. It's complex. You know, as women, you know, it's, it's, it's alien. You know, what did Monica do? One, two. yeah seven two three four yeah two one two three seven absolutely seven exactly he could watch that episode he could so basically he'd be mind-boggled he's a great kisser and everything else has been great but i can't bear it when he attempts to finger me she says i put this in air quotes because i don't even know if you can even call it that oh so maybe a finger maybe you should send him a link yeah we were slating the links maybe she's sending a link oh maybe his finger's not even going in the hole i just think he doesn't he doesn't know what to do to do i think maybe he's not sure like yeah i think he just doesn't know it's a foreign object absolutely he has maybe heard a lot of talk from a lot of different people and he's thinking am i supposed to be doing this am i supposed to be doing this what is it oh i don't even know if i can call it that well is his finger going inside you or not she's about to explain what's happening the reason i say this okay is because he acts like no it is scary brian he acts like he's scared of my vagina no listen it's scary we can't laugh no it is it's daunting also like imagine the first time you were presented with a penis yeah what the fuck do you do with that What is that fucking monster doing?

27:36Staring at me. Like ugly fucking piece of flesh. Yeah. So I can understand how petrified, and he must like you so much. And the pressure he feels as well. To perform with his fingers. Especially like if you say that like, I'm kind of know what I'm doing here. Like he's pretty happy. He's thinking, shit, the pressure's getting too much. The pressure's on. Okay, so he's acting like he's scared of my vagina. Simply put. Right. has he put his penis inside your vagina? Yeah, because she said everything else is great. Right. Because she said simply put, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. He hasn't ventured further than the flaps.

28:24So he's not put the finger in the hole. Where's it going then? He's going around and about the town, isn't he? He's going, he's going he's playing the piano on you flaps the flaps okay okay it's not really about the flaps brian exactly he said maybe he's trying to find the clitoris on the skin there's been no penetration okay sorry let me read on it is like he's trying to gently tickle my vagina right so he's literally he's so he's afraid he's like he's afraid he is he's I think he maybe he's scared of hurting you yeah maybe he's scared of like pressure true and like he thinks that like a gentle touch but like if your penis has been in there I think we're okay with a couple fingers yeah so and sometimes I don't even feel it well yeah you there's nothing to feel yeah tip tap tippity tap what the fuck is that yeah he's light on his finger is he light on his toes too Sarah like like yeah yeah he's scared absolutely he does a sparkle sparkle yeah so it's tip tap tap tap you can't even feel it right okay i know how to fix i know how to fix this too but let's keep going this would be fine for the first 20 seconds yeah so you know whatever you know starts warming up but this goes on for what feels like forever with no end in sight for me or him i end up having to create an excuse or distracting him by just making making out again and pulling him you know yeah but he just isn't getting the hint that i'm not enjoying it i'm not sure what his goal is he is nowhere near the the baked goods brackets the baked bean i've never heard the bean the baked goods no i've never heard the bean called the baked bean the baked goods no i've never heard it called the baked bean either i have tried to guide him and at one point i even moved his hand for him oh but he's just not getting it that was gonna be my advice just grab his hand and and do some movements just and just just show him a bit you know a bit more pressure or whatever tutorial but she says he's just not getting it i've thought about just being blunt but it seems just too harsh especially because this relationship is still fresh i keep hoping that he will suddenly get the hang of it but i'm starting to think that he doesn't realize how bad it is i've asked all my friends for advice but still no success so please help a girl out what should i do should i tell him it's bad and have that awkward conversation or you do you have any other advice thanks so much from an unsatisfied Sarah.

31:10Oh, an unsatisfied Sarah. No, but I'm thinking, maybe he's not put the willy in the hole. But she said he's great at everything else. True, true. It's just in this lead up time. It's the foreplay. Okay. What was your big advice then? Who's going to? Well, my big advice was, because all her friends are stumped. She's presented this to the friendship group. they've gone fucking hell Sarah you floored us this is a challenge we must not face yeah my advice was gonna be like you need to just grab his hand and just literally give tutorial and like not so much be like critical but more just like no no let me show you do this this is so good like complimentary of like no do this put that there like words of affirmation reinforcement of what's nice yeah like this feels really good do it's like training a dog you know because it's like this oh good boy yes here's a biscuit here's that was really good good boy well done i fear doing it in a sterile environment when we're not in the moment yes is gonna freak him out even more he's already overwhelmed and then he's going to be even more awkward when it get back when it gets back to that moment again and I think it's that thing of like yeah you're allowed to say what you like and what you don't like absolutely there's ways to word things and I would pick your moment yeah but um and this is a new relationship like you are both just finding your feet you are finding your feet so be vocal definitely you know you don't have to sit him down and be like so we need to talk about your performance review yeah because it's slacking Q1 performance review um your fingers not doing too well down there like do it in the moment grab his hand say do you know what feels good this feels nice do this do this and I mean I know you've said you've tried that so but she said she's tried to guide so I don't know

33:20I wonder if he's any good at going down on you she's not mentioned i wouldn't i would i mean she said everything else is good yeah she said everything else is good maybe that's his strength maybe he could focus more there yeah but definitely be vocal not necessarily like that don't do that like that shit you just just say something when it's happening that kind of like that's not oh maybe just oh maybe not i don't know just so he knows and then maybe then he'll ask to learn like because he needs to say like what what do what feels good for you so yeah he would think like he wants to pleasure you he wants you to have a good time just like you want him to have a good time so like i would imagine that he would appreciate any feedback absolutely because i'm sure he knows that i mean why don't you just like get your vibrator in the mix and get him to use yeah you could do that yeah why don't it be like you watch me like i'm gonna do it like get him really riled up and then he has to watch you pleasure yourself and that's quite sexy and then he can learn from watching what you're doing watch and learn literally that's two great things get the vibrator involved and you do it to yourself and make him watch he won't know what to fucking do with himself.

34:37He'll explode. He'll explode. He'll explode. Literally. No, he can learn. This is good. He can learn. Sarah, don't suffer in silence. You need to let him know because otherwise you are signing yourself up for a relationship of this for the rest of your life. Yeah. And it's that thing of like, if you don't tell him, he won't know. And if you don't tell him now, he's just going to keep doing it thinking that, oh yeah, these are my moves. She's experienced them before. She's liking it. She's not saying anything. She ain't complained. exactly yeah so just like let him know because otherwise he's not gonna know because you've tried to like just be a bit you've tried to let him know with your body kind of thing you know but he but he's not getting it yeah so maybe yeah try those things and bon chance bon chance you've got this just let him know don't suffer in silence

35:34i fear the subject line tells us a bit more than we need to know well not more but it tells us everything we need to know his little brian smells oh okay look he's had a long day you know a long day on shift you know but the thing is with the willy is there's a lot of creases and crevices that need to be cleaned needs to be cleaned really well i have a dilemma in the bedroom situation yeah let me just clarify the sex is incredible great great good news but the problem it's great but the problem i have is just something i can't escape it stinks his penis his penis stinks i would go down this is serious this is serious i would go down to give him head and i literally gag at the stand no no this is serious this is serious oh no because that is like i'm sorry but to have to face that every day do you know what we're gonna do here sarah get in the shower get in the shower yeah but to face that every day that is like that is a hardship and i and i fear something like that needs to just be told direct no seriously oh it smells

37:07no seriously just like a bit more direct oh it smells brian no but you what are you Sophia he's your boyfriend he loves you like you're just like it's when it's when he's got back from the gym and he's a bit so oh you're smelly what if it's not though what if he's got out the shower no no no but I'm just saying it's like when he may have got home from the day and like he's had a long day and oh you're a bit smelly oh you fucking stink yeah and it's like you would say that yeah but because it's like we love each other imagine if you were having sexy time right yeah no I don't want to hear that He goes, whoa, babe, it stinks.

37:42Oh, no, no. No, no. I couldn't regret it like that. But you need to take things into the shower and soap up. But it's really inconsiderate of a sexual partner. It is. I think it's actually really inconsiderate, a sexual partner to present themselves smelly and stinky. You know, isn't it? Because it's like, where's your respect? A sexual partner to present themselves. No, but it's true. It is true. like the respect is is that I'm clean I'm squeaky clean and I'm ready to go and so we you know we're not like filthy dirty okay let's read on it stinks his penis stinks right so she's gagging at the stench so I'm Sarah I'm really sorry yeah I think he's not cleaning it properly because like I said before there's a lot of skin folds oh no I didn't say anything at first and just tried to drop subtle hints of showering together so i could scrub his penis no i know because there's a lot of folds i would suggest a condom but like in the moment we both know it feels better without one right however this was solving the stenching issues okay so the condom was masking the smell oh really would that actually so oh my god even to the point where my even to the point where my duvet would smell has he got a disease maybe he does have a medical sorry it's not funny it's not funny this is like her her lovely fresh urban outfits and sheets are smelling of his penis so we need to get to the bottom of this and it's it's the fact that it's like it's not like we've just like been to the gym we're ripping off our leggings it's like maybe you've come around for the weekend it's friday night we've been out for dinner he's got wet hair he's had a shower right i think he he he obviously doesn't he's up no but he's obviously not aware he can't smell himself he's obviously nose blind he's nose blind it's like when you wear your perfume for years i can't fucking smell my perfume yeah you know it's like you do go blind to the scent i started to get uti symptoms and was extremely paranoid I went to the doctors and they said everything was fine.

40:05It was just a slight UTI. I ended up bringing it up to him saying like, you know, it smells and I'm bringing it up because I'm worried that it's now impacting my health too. He completely flipped and told me how disrespectful and rude I was being and how much I'd upset him. Oh. And he left. Oh. He was embarrassed. He was embarrassed and he didn't know how to take it. but but but that like we're in a relationship and i'm like i'm saying i've got a uti yeah and this is actually serious and i'm just like i'm not telling anyone i'm it's just between me and you and my doctor i guess i don't even tell my doctor it's just between me and you and i'm saying look i think it's because you're not cleaning it well and you're spreading bacteria between us and like it's it's impacting and the fact that he couldn't just hit because i'm sure you sat down you said it really lovely you said look i've just got back from the fucking doctors and like i'm not well down there yeah and i think it's because you know and for him to react like that is really a shame because you want you know i mean i hope he came back and said look sorry i mean i just got a bit upset it reinforces the fact that he has no idea it smells because that really caught him off guard or maybe he knows that yeah he's a bit lazy when he showers yeah and he's just and and I don't know.

41:26Obviously, I then felt extremely guilty and bad for bringing it up and was so apologetic to him and just thought it's best not to say anything and deal with it. But girls, I am gagging. Oh no, Sarah. I physically cannot go down on him. It's awkward in the moment because I'm like, no, sorry. And when he says why, I just go all awkward because I don't want to upset him all over again. After sex, I always go to the bathroom and usually have a quick shower. However, he doesn't clean up after himself not even with tissues just boxes straight back on yeah so he's just like he does not have good heart does he like smell of bo like does he even does like he has really bad hygiene maybe when he's getting in the shower he's doing the basics armpits but maybe he's crack i wouldn't i wouldn't i don't think he's cleaning his ass crack with soap would you she's saying i have to force him to wash it and i mean force side note i have to force him to brush his teeth too right so i just think he hygiene isn't at the top of his priority at all is it but girls how do i communicate to him like you fucking stink without hurting his feelings again i'm more concerned about my health now as clearly it's impacting it but also sarah like you're not going to want to have sex with him.

42:46You're going to start like, do you know what I mean? You're not going to want to get... Do you want to see him? You're not going to want to get into sexy time with him because it's like, oh, well, I'm going to wake up with a UTI. My fucking vagina is going to be on fire. Oh, Brian. Like, he looks like a nice boy. I know. She's so beautiful as well. Look how gorgeous she is. Sarah is beautiful. You shouldn't have to be dealing with this because it is a respect thing. Yeah, Sarah, I think you should dump this guy to be honest because I do getting angry I'm not being horrible about the fact that like he smells but I completely agree with Chintz that it is a respect thing it is let's forget about his penis for a sec the fact that I have to force you to brush your teeth is mental is wild like the fact that you don't take pride in your hygiene like especially and then you want to be you're sleeping in my sheets you want to be intimate with me like especially you're giving me utis your body parts that are going in my body part yeah you've not cleaned in weeks you're throwing off your ph balance and all sorts yeah because i take utis very seriously bladder pure like and like you have a like there is a reason that this man is giving you a utis because yeah x y and z and the fact that he can't take that seriously you keep getting utis you'll You don't have to get surgery.

44:09It's detrimental. If you get an embedded UTI in your fucking bladder, then it's like you have that for the rest of your life or whatever. You've got to get surgery or something. Sorry, I'm not a UTI expert, but it's really bad. Yeah, it is really bad. So I'm really disappointed at his reaction to like storming off and getting angry and being offended. I think that's probably because he knows that it's an easy fix. I know, it's a very easy, get in the fucking shower, get your Sanex and clean yourself. I mean, the fact that, I mean, I fear, Sarah, you've said it multiple times. I fear you've said I don't think you can say it again like I fear you've got in the shower with him tried to clean it I fear like and also Sarah like I don't I think this is something that you've normalized yeah and you think that like our boys are smelly like no no they're not like boys will what like after sex yeah it's normal to have a freshen up have a clean up shower have a shower the fact that he's just cracking on in your sheets it is a respect thing it is a respect thing like you smell and then if he's getting up the next day not showering and going about his day.

45:08Not brushing his teeth. Walking around with sex on his penis and stuff. Yeah. It's not your job, Sarah, as a girlfriend to tell your boyfriend when to have a shower and wash his willy and brush his teeth. No. It's really not. He's a grown-up man. He's a grown-up man. He should know when to shower and when to brush his teeth. And he should want to like... Wash his willy. Yeah. He should want to wash it. And he should want to be like... Desirable. But also... And desirable. And like... Exactly. He should want to be desirable to you you've literally said look i've got you because i bet you're exfoliating scrubbing shaving down to the fucking bone and making yourself like a little slippery dolphin every time you see him pristine and i take pride in my hygiene yeah and it's like it's really disrespectful that my boyfriend and kind of embarrassing that you don't because yeah well i'm putting in all this effort for you for you know for us and our pleasure and and now i'm not going to want to have sex with you no because like let's face it you're not having a good time like yeah you're enjoying the actual like sex but you're anticipating utis you're not really doing foreplay because you feel awkward like your duvet is then smelling that's not like it's not normal and i do think it is just like what chin said it is a respect thing like you can give it one more shot to have a convo with him and just to see if he will get the message that I fear I'm gonna have to leave you because I like sex is really important to me and like it stinks it smells and like I would also angle it I would angle it in the respect way yeah yeah just maybe have one more conversation I mean what do you do it in the moment or do you do it like on the so not getting in the moment again oh yeah true it's and then just say look babe like I don't know how to say it and not be turn off just say like look I know you got really frustrated before but like this is really serious like you need to clean it right I feel like you don't respect me because you know I'm not enjoying our sex as much as I used to because like it the hygiene isn't there it's unhygienic maybe don't say like it stinks maybe just say like it's more like our hygiene isn't good like it's unhygienic and like obviously the UTIs like it's not good for me to be getting them all the time and um and if i keep getting them then i'm gonna have to get surgery i'm gonna have to go see specialists like it's not healthy for me and if you can't understand and respect that all that needs to happen is a good old clean down there good old scrub good old bit of you know teeth twice a day i'm brushing your teeth then i wouldn't be getting utis and if he can't sit and be like oh babe i'm so sorry like i didn't realize what's affecting you this much if he can't then like come with you with kindness and understanding and if he gets up and storms away again and flips it on you because that's just laziness and says oh you've embarrassed and like shouts at you and gets angry at you then this is not someone who you can have a forever partnership with because you can't bring anything to him god forbid you know when you've got babies or whatever it's like you can't understand anything you're saying no good luck Sarah good luck Sarah but I feel like there are men out there who wash their willies yeah do you know what I mean and who brush their teeth without being forced yeah and like don't normalize it.

48:19I mean you're not because you're like this is not right and you know it's not but yeah try and get through to him one more time and if he can't understand he can't understand you've got to leave on to the next. Because like you can't I don't want you to suffer like that.

48:36Sarah here she's not giving us a header she's just put X rated. So we're diving in blind to this dilemma but Lucy has advised us it's pretty juicy. so it's pretty big hi good literally hi girls as all the dilemmas do i want to start by saying love the part i've been following since the early youtube days thank you thank you sir back story so me and my brain have been together for four years four years now i love him so much and he's literally my best friend and partner in crime we have a great sex life and literally live like an old married couple. I genuinely couldn't picture life without him.

49:19However, in caps. This is crazy as well because like we're four years in now. Like I know what to do. You know what I like. Like I know your body parts at this point. Yeah. So Brian is my first ever boyfriend and also the only boy I've ever had sex with or done anything with. Okay. Since we have been together, I've always felt slightly inadequate and insecure when it came to sex, as he'd had other partners prior to me. Oh, right. I felt as though I don't know what to do or if I'm good enough for him. I hear you. That's all in your head though, isn't it? Because it's... You're overthinking. You're comparing me to other people whereas I've got nothing to compare.

49:59Yeah, and that's where the overthinking comes. But they're not comparing you to other people. Because, yeah, if you ever had another sexual... You probably wouldn't compare. Well, actually you might. Well, naturally you go, oh, I've only ever had this way. Not like that. Okay, so that's always kind of been an insecurity for you. His response to this has always been nothing but loving and supportive. He tells me constantly how amazing I am and how attractive he finds me and how good I am in bed. She's put slay. Okay, so that's brilliant. No problems there. He's not like making you feel insecure.

50:33A few years ago, we had a situation where I was really struggling when it came to the sucky sucky stuff. The sucky sucky stuff. She's thought, ew, cringy. Okay, so this was a few years ago. Okay. I basically was gagging every time. Eyes streaming, couldn't breathe. Like just could not for the life of me just do it. And still to this day, I really, really struggle. You obviously just got a bad gag reflex. I mean, it's called a job for a reason. Exactly. You've got to put in the work. It's a tough job. It's a tough job. If you naturally have a gag, some people just naturally have a gag reflex. Some people, they can put carrots all sorts down.

51:12But some people, even if a spoon goes too far in, it's a reflex. So it's like you're either born with a gift or you're not. So this is my dilemma. Brian really enjoys it and always hints at me doing it, especially 69, which stresses me out even more. And I just feel awful. He is always going down on me and doing everything he can to make sure I enjoy myself and I can't give him that. Oh. I don't know why I can't get over this thing that's stopping me. So any tips or helpful advice will be much appreciated from my Brian, who just wants a bit of action. I have provided pics. Ops. Really cute. Here's his penis.

51:49Oh, you guys. Oh my God, you're so cute. The G7X shot. I love it. Oh, at the front. You're so cute. Oh. Gorgeous. Oh, more. Oh. He looks really friendly. Right, okay, so you're having a great time with all of your stuff. Which is great. Happy for you. Happy for you. Okay, but you're struggling. I think it's well endowed. It's big, it's large and it's in charge. It's large and in charge. And you know what? Some people just have small jaws and small mouths. Jaw lock. Jaw lock is a thing. I mean, there's more to it than the tongue, the tip, and the lips. I mean, has he - The tip of the tongue, the teeth, and the lips.

52:27Like, you can just use your hands, use your spit. Has he tried to, like, guide? Yeah, but then she's thinking, don't fucking touch my head because I'm like I'm dying here and I fear your gag reflex is just there I mean it's complimentary but also you don't have to put it all the way to the back of your throat every single time can't you just like you know use your lips use your tongue and then just like use your hand just give yourself up for it I bet she has I bet she's thought I know I know take a deep breath I know I know I mean my my advice would just be practice makes perfect because right now it's kind of a thing that you don't do you're kind of like oh that fucking scares me you know so if you're just like look I'm gonna go for it tonight I'm gonna give it a go do you know what you don't like if you can't shove it to the back of your throat like don't because like if you're gagging don't use your hands what about little your tongue and often like so not like not every time you go down there are you having to do the full job right but it's just a little bit of a little bit of this little bit of that and then it's like right we're gonna have sex now and then you're just getting more comfortable with being down there.

53:33So it's not this daunting task of like, right, I'm fucking down here until the finale. I'm clocking in for my shift. I'm clocking in. It's like, I'm just coming down here just for a little tiny bit. And then I'm popping back up. I think so. And I think then you'll become more confident in like what he might like. Yeah. And he might give you like some words of affirmation. Like take a break. Use your hands. Yeah, absolutely. Like pop back. Also, you don't have to be clocking in for a half an hour shift every single time. Absolutely fucking not. Are you joking? Yeah. Like, so just little enough.

54:03I think that's good advice. That's good advice. Just because then your confidence will build just being down there and that in itself will give you kind of like that kind of confidence. Oh God, do you know what? I can actually do this. I think he actually does quite like this. Yeah. You know? And then before you know it, and it will be less daunting because it's like, oh my God, I'm literally down here until that. Like, no, like you're just popping down and you're popping back up. Yeah. That's really good advice. If I do say so myself. because you just it's a scary thing like it's it's scary if it's on your mind and if it's daunting to you because yeah you're probably thinking god this is the job monster no we're gonna have this is just foreplay this is just a bit of a yeah this and also it's meant to be fun right you're meant to have a good time and like look he looked he'd been together for four years like a bit of a giggle like that just be he obviously likes what you do absolutely so i I would just, little and often, I think that's...

54:58Little and often. And just build up the courage. Just so you can get more confident down there and with what you're up to. And maybe ask him, like, why are you down there? What would you like? Yeah. You know? Just so then you're like, oh, okay, well, he said he likes this. I'm going to make, you know? Yeah. And then it's like confidence unlocked. Yeah. Gorgeous. Good luck, Sarah. You've got this, Sarah.

55:30okay right it's giving jack harlow and vanilla oh yeah x-rated how do i fix a vanilla boyfriend how vanilla are we talking i guess she's gonna explain can i just say i've been following you both since the days when you used to use snapchat if that doesn't make me an og i don't know what will thank you sarah oh my god sarah on to my dilemma for context i have been with my boyfriend for a year okay and he is well and truly the love of my life i've been with shitty men previously and i just want all the listeners to know that there is someone out there for you who will love you the way you want to be loved i am 25 he is 27 okay i'm his first girlfriend wow and i know that he was never someone who like slept with endless amounts of women whilst he was single.

56:19Yeah. But you know, he's had relationships and stuff. He's big romantic and has always said that he wasn't going to be with someone until he knew it was the one. Okay. So he's not had actual many like serious girlfriends. Okay. Brian is the most caring. So maybe he's not had like a long-term sexual partner. Yeah. Maybe. I mean, maybe he has. I think kind of that's what it's skewing. Brian is the most caring and kind person I know. And although this is a trait I love most about him, it's not a trait I love in the bedroom. Okay. He's a very gentle lover. He's gentle? If you get what I mean. Yeah.

56:57It is. Yeah, he's not tying you up or anything like that. He's not, yeah. You ain't got any handcuffs. Yeah. Although I wouldn't go as far to say I want Christian Grey, I'd like it taken up a notch. Just a bit of like, errr. Right, this is specific. I hear you. You're not going to get this reference, Jin, but it speaks to me. for any akatar readers cassian is the level i'm after sarah i know exactly explain a grab of the hair or grab of the neck is it yeah absolutely chins okay yeah it's it's it's alpha male it's dominant it's like it's bent over it's pulling hair got it it's rough and ready got it got it got it last year okay so right okay i was like feeling is it just like a bit of missionary and bish bash bash she said after reading a court of silver flames i was left feeling like my sex life was too vanilla really yeah okay sarah okay yeah i hear you last year i drunkenly told him that he had never made me finish she's put in brackets i wouldn't recommend doing this i was gonna say fyi um this needs to be a sober conversation yeah okay oh god i bet i mean yeah since then we've introduced a vibrator to the bedroom okay he wasn't keen on the idea at first okay but now he loves to use it because it means we both have a good time yes but now i feel like he's cheating the system and it's made him lazy oh so he's just always going for the vibrator and not yeah he's given that a buzz and obviously it's doing what it needs to do and he's thinking great but he's barely partaking yes is that it right he puts in minimal effort and as soon as he's close he'll reach into the drawer and get it out okay right so he's just what going to pound town and then he's closer then he'll just get that out give you a bit of a buzz and then you're an afterthought you're not priority right i've been in two previous relationships and although they were bad boyfriends they were good in bed right so i know that i'm not the problem yes i've given Brian a few pointers and told him what I like and to talk dirty, be a bit more dominant.

59:05But I seriously think it's the lack in confidence, which is holding him back. Okay. I know that you say that telling him he's doing a good job is what will help build the confidence. But now I feel like I've done that too much that he actually doesn't realize that he needs to improve. Maybe he thinks that I'm doing a great job as it is. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So maybe that doesn't work. I don't want to tell him he's not good in bed because I don't want to hurt his feelings. but I seriously plan on spending the next 70 years with this man and I know from experience there's more to sex than what we've got right now yeah okay can this be fixed or is sex simply one of those things that just can't be told no no no of course it can pictures of the lovely couple oh Brian yeah maybe you're being too nice maybe you're being too complimentary I think like maybe we actually go mute because if you're going like oh that's really nice oh yeah yeah yeah he's thinking i've got this in the fucking bag a bish bash bosh a bit of buzzing maybe job done because obviously you've got all these moves that you've not used with him or whatever you just fucking guide him unlock some new traits unlock it and you you guide him into these things that you want to try but like look we're doing this and then hopefully he'll eventually pick it up and then start to guide you and take more of the dominant role because i fear that's the only way that like you're going to be able to unlock the new positions and realm of like the sex because he's not leading the way is he no he's obviously he's got a friend in the drawer he's happy with your arrangement yeah he absolutely because men are simple creatures you know that they come they you know that's it it's not as complicated it's not so i fear maybe we need to like lose the vibrator for a little bit yeah and actually like next time he's grabbing it say no no no wait we're gonna do this and then you take you show him something else we're gonna do this yeah no we're gonna do this leave that we don't need that yeah because like that's for you but like no i don't need that yet yeah i don't know kind of thing because it's his like emergency backup i think guide him show him what you like what you want to do just say we're gonna to do this now look come on do this look get down here and do that you have to choreograph it because you're gonna have to because obviously he doesn't even have these moves in his bank no he doesn't know them so he needs to because and then once the moves are unlocked he'll start guiding you hopefully and you just i think if you want like you're just gonna have to say like let's rough it up a little bit yeah you're gonna say look grab me grab grab this yeah pull me there yeah because at the end of the day like the effort both parties want both parties to have a good time exactly so like men just need to be told and i think on the laziness thing that's why i think we need to lose the vibrator do you think she should say like oh you're being lazy come on possibly yeah yeah i think we like let it die like don't charge it yeah don't buy any batteries like i i i do think like in this instance we kind of need to lose it because he's kind of thinking this is the only way that you can finish yeah you know because he's thinking well if that would just and it's just stopping him from putting in effort exactly and i think it's he knows he's gonna give you a good time but it's like but no you're right here you freak yeah like i want more from you yeah maybe you need to remind him that like your pleasure is the is all is a priority because i think he's very much like it's about him and like he's thinking about him again and he wants to finish and he's thinking he's not prioritizing you like we could have a bit of vibrator action before we even start before anything's in anywhere like I think it needs to be a bit more focused on you yeah because he's thinking I've got that vibrator in the fucking yeah and I'm gonna bring that out to make sure that she has a good time at the end like yeah he's just relying on that so he's not putting any in any of the legwork yeah arm work he could warm you up a bit more exactly I think you're gonna have to just take because obviously he's not a dominant like yeah in the bedroom so you're just gonna have to take the lead for a while which you can do I'm sure I know you maybe don't want to because you're probably used to being you not being the dominant one and just take the reins a little bit show him something new and a different way of going about things and then hopefully he picks it up if not you're gonna have to give him your book to read I actually saw this tick that would actually work no it's a big it's a big book but yeah it would work or just an audio clip from a tiktok yes this is what i read make him feel like i saw this uh tiktok and it was these two men talking and he was saying that he was like my biggest sex advice for guys is to read what the women are reading is to read like a dirty book written by a woman because there we go that is going to show you what women want.

1:04:04The reason we love these men in these books is because they're written by a fucking woman. Yes, exactly. Like they need - It's the woman's fantasy. It's the dirty talk. It's the, like, it's everything you're describing that you want, Sarah. Like, you literally need to get your boyfriend to read a book. There we go. Show him that clip. Find that clip of those men. Send it him. Say my big, there we go. Send it him. Just send him on TikTok. Type in like men talking about women's dirty books or something. and it was like he was like I read my wife's dirty book and like it changed like our sex life because like I know it helped him understand like what a woman wants to hear from her perspective and like what the actions are that she wants and like it's going to give him ideas of like things to say and yada yada yada like find that clip Sarah send it him with the eye emoji he's going to watch it and go oh fuck something I think will be unlocked in his mind me too do you know what I mean because maybe he doesn't even know what's going on in your books that you're reading do you know what I mean but also maybe he just like if you are finishing because he's bringing out the vibrator exactly he's just thinking easy job done she had a good time yeah 100 100 because they are simple greets he doesn't realize there's exactly much more to it there's more to it he doesn't realize actually yeah i might finish at the end but like that wasn't really was it this erotic incredible experience no no so i think it might not be every single time but like come on come on right i think send him that clip 100 % and see and then it might wake him up a bit maybe just like unlock a conversation that you guys can have but like yeah the guys in my book are doing this this and also like I know just like I wouldn't give out like I wouldn't give out free moans and shit I would dial it back no absolutely maybe don't over encourage well because she said you're giving him a lot of compliments so yeah maybe dial it back yeah and then start trying the new stuff that you want to try and then and and then the book thing on top of that new sex life a lot Yeah, new sex life unlocked.

1:05:59New character unlocked. Yeah, I fear. Good luck, Sarah. Good luck. You've got this. That book thing is actually genius. Star of the week. Okay. Our lovely girl writing in today is Sophie. And she's had a bit of an accident this week. She said, My Brian deserves Star of the Week 100%. Last Saturday, we were going out and I tripped and fell and fractured my foot. I couldn't walk and was in a lot of pain. as in like 999. Oh no. He got us an Uber and he carried me into the hospital in his arms. I mean, as he should, what were you meant to do, crawl? Since I've been home, he's been amazing, making me dinner, helping me get my crutches.

1:06:45He's just been taking such good care of me. He even got me a milkshake to cheer me up. The list goes on and on. Good. He wants to stay anonymous, but I'm attached to Pick of Us as I know you girls love him. look at them look at him oh my god he looks so nice so handsome a big old rugby boy our caretaker our acts of service king yes Brian thank you for taking care of Sarah this week while she's fractured her foot thank you Brian and get well soon Sarah thank you Brian okay guys thank you so much for listening to our X rated episode if you would like a bonus episode of the podcast you can get it every single Monday over on our Patreon and as always you can email your dilemmas and your star of the week entries to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com.

1:07:30Absolutely. You can follow us on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. And we'll see you on Monday. And we'll see you back here next Wednesday. Bye.