X-RATED: Is it normal for my man to be doing this whilst I'm asleep?!!

0:00Rothy's is up to something big. The famous Flats brand has reimagined their iconic point shoe to be better than ever. To celebrate its 10th anniversary, Rothy's made the point even more beautiful and comfortable than before. Every closet needs a little black flat, and Rothy's makes the best one of all. Discover the point at rothys.com and learn why this timeless shoe is so special. That's R-O-T-H-Y-S dot com. Quick question. When was the last time a display ad changed your mind? Now think about the last time a friend told you about something they loved. Different feeling, right? That's how podcast advertising works.

0:37A host who's built real trust with their audience talks about your brand in their own words, in their own voice. It doesn't interrupt the experience. It's part of it. With Acast, you can access the world's largest podcast marketplace. Choose the right shows, the right audiences, the right format. Then watch the data tell you it worked. You're not buying impressions. You're buying influence. Learn more by visiting ACAST.com slash advertise.

1:29Yeah. Yeah. X, X, X, X. Rated, rated, rated, rated. Did you see Britney was arrested? I did see that. It's okay. We won't talk about it because she's probably just going through something. You should read her book. It's really good. I'd be trying to get Mark to read Britney's book for a long time. Does Mark read? Mark's got Britney's book. But he's not read it? No. But I think he would love it. Do my sleeves look huge? Because right now... Sophia said today that I wasn't allowed to take my jacket off because my arms look too pale. she said i'm not allowed to take it off rosie can vouch for me that that is a lie so i've got to sit here in my outdoor coat take off them i'm too fearful i'm too scared my face rosie said your face is definitely a different color to your arms so i said i agree yeah but we were being honest you said my arms no i appreciate it and i said yeah they are pale you're gonna not like that and i told you that you had a little something on your lip and i I appreciate that.

2:28And you know what that is? Honesty. What is that? Friendship. Friendship. Yeah. I'm asking you if I look okay. I need you to tell me if it's a yes or a no. It was merely a joke. Okay. It was merely in jest. But we are here. I've got a strawberry matcha today. I'm double parked. Sophia is double fisting with a coconut smoothie. And I'm a coconut hater. Which is mental. So talk us through the flavors you're feeling today. I'm just getting mango. but I've had a sip of that, Sophia, and that's full coconut. I'm like not getting coconut. So I don't know what's actually going on. I'm being serious. I'm not getting coconut.

3:06But like I said, I had a sip of that and it's full coconut. Look at that. All that white is coconut yogurt, everyone. It's literally like coconut juice. So look, I'm happy to see it. Next stop, Bounty. Next stop, coconut water. Coconut on the beach. Yeah. Yuck. Next stop, what's another coconut thing I enjoy? um you remember those coconut balls yeah the coconut ball bounce is it those balls are from the olden days deliciously ella delicious yeah coconut balls it was those balls with chocolate the chocolate coconut balls uh a wagon wheel is it wasn't that coconut that's not coconut oh did you not like your wagon wheels no why it's just jam marshmallow and chocolate no don't want i probably really enjoy it now but back in the day it was not my chocolate of choice a wagon wheel this big no oh never liked them i like custard cream love monster munch yeah yeah custard cream i mean i actually went to the shop yesterday and i just bought um some mini cheddars and some oven baked crisp just ate both the packets on my wall because I thought, I've got free will.

4:20Exactly. No mum's telling me one packet a day. I thought, I want both. I'm going to buy both. I'm just going to eat them. Well, a packet of Pombas. They're so small. You could smash a five pack of Pombas. You could smash them, yeah. Because they're so light and airy. Yeah, so light and airy. Wow. Fantastic stuff. Yeah. So it's X graded. Wait, quickly. Do you like tea cakes? Love tea cakes. It's essentially a wagon wheel. I know, but never used to like tea cakes, but I've learned to like them in adulthood. I love tea cakes. actually you know what i've been eating at home what um 85 percent lint oh that's well that's serious stuff um orange intense and it's like chocolate orange dark chocolate it's so fucking good i hate it's so good it just tastes like terry's it's so disgusting i hate terry's chocolate no you need to grow up that's what you need to do your poor children are gonna grow up I have all these food fears.

5:19Yeah, and you need to sort yourself out. Yeah. Because your children need a very diet. I hate chocolate orange. Why? It's disgusting. No. It's literally like, it's like, oh no. It's like in those, it's like the strawberry flavored chocolate. Like I just, I want chocolate. Oh, I can do that. No. You're so weird. No, no. I draw the line. I love mint chocolate. Yeah. Like an after eight. Yum. Aero mint. Yum. I do draw the line. I love white chocolate too. Me too. I do draw the line. I've seen ladies on TikTok peeling an orange, a clementine, and then dipping it in chocolate. I don't think orange is for the chocolate fountain.

5:59I'd rather not eat. The only fruit I think that is allowed on the chocolate fountain. Strawberries. Grape. No. That was on my no-go list. No. Strawberries. Strawberries. like strawberries I don't think anything else marshmallows grapes no Angie Depp had grapes at your chocolate fountain marshmallows sorry I bought a punnet I spent 20 pounds on a punnet of strawberries yesterday because they look so beautiful moldy moldy moldy moldy all at the bottom oh that's a scam billion sage scam that's a real scam yeah I'll tell you what I bought the other day that I've really been enjoying kiwi it's good for you that i've seen all the beauty benefits yeah good for your puss good for your eyesight good for your skin i've heard it's good for the skin i've heard it's good yeah i've not heard about the puss i think it's similar to pineapple in that sense yeah and i saw it i was like really fancy that and i was like wow this kiwi's really good i don't know if it's kiwi season but it was ripe and it was delicious and did you scoop out yourself peel yourself i actually bought it pre-cut pre-cut that's fine they're a faff yeah they're but i would get them in in the halves and then scoop it out like a like a yogurt yeah that is yogurt some people eat the skin wow yeah when i have my first edamame i get the skin oh my god and i was like very hard interesting well it's x-rated it's x-rated which is a surprise to both of us so i'm pretty excited today we're ready to get it to be honest ready to get sexual let's get eating our pineapple and kiwis i guess ladies i guess so have you been watching the dinosaur documentary no but i have seen about that man who was kidnapped by the dolphins i sent it into the group chat this man who was kidnapped by dolphins i actually checked the group chat yesterday this was sent to catch up this morning so this is prime okay so this man he was kidnapped by dolphins and took 40 you know feet underwater they kidnapped him they want him because they wanted him to build um an underwater structure for their set for their town and cities and he was there for three days he said and he said the leader gerald blue the leader gerald the leader was called gerald he helped him breathe and everything and he was just like dolphin helped him breathe yeah and he was like i've been down there for three days building them their structures and they were happy with my work so they've released me and they genuinely found a structure no because it's like very far down of course yeah sorry um but they genuinely found like marine stuff in his lungs and stuff and it all checks out with him being like in the sea for a long time holy shit and apparently they said like we'll come grab you like for phase two wow i definitely should go watch that yeah he's actually a marine guy who knows a lot about he did a marine engineer or something of the sorts wow yeah i knew the police have got it i mean it was a mugshot i was like why has he been arrested but apparently the dolphins they were chatting they he could talk to the dolphins with these clicky sounds click click click click of course yeah and he understood it maybe he's watched uh I'm doing Nemo a few times definitely you could be next babes next time you go out to Mauritius yeah get in that sea they could nab you next but yeah he was down there for three days he claims he claims wow I'm gonna start claiming some shit wow okay fascinating well I'll definitely make sure I did send you the TikTok it had about 200 ,000 likes there's a lot of other people interested as well not just myself okay I'll definitely give that a watch and I've been really enjoying the dinosaur program It's number one on Netflix.

9:56So also a lot of other people are enjoying it too. Yeah. I've not seen that. Yeah. It's pretty good. It's pretty interesting. Yeah. No, I like dinosaurs. Okay. So transitioning into our X-rated episode. Of course, from dinosaurs to this. Which TV show gave you a new sexual awakening? Well, for myself, I want to say my first crush was Troy Bolton. Troy Ball and Wildcats well was no no no no no my first crush was Peter Pan was it? in the real life one with Wendy yes of course wow oh really what a film what a film yeah I'd be moved to tears every time can't say that was a staple of my childhood really?

10:43yeah so I just found it very sad my first crush was the guy I had this busted CD and whoever the boy in the middle was I really liked him The CD was like Three boys Against And the boy in the middle I just was like I love him I think We should go and see Busted vs McFly Yeah I would really enjoy that But I don't know what boy was in the middle of this poster I don't know But I had one CD This was like pre 10 years old This was like maybe like 7 And I was like oh my god that one in the middle like i really like it no no who was the middle wait let me just quickly get busted up because it was three of them and the cd i'm sure three and busted yeah and then the background was them almost like getting a mug shot like the black i'm gonna get it up we're gonna get it up and it was the one in the middle i was like oh i've got it wow your memory is incredible 2002 you were five years old wait wait wait in the middle this is it has he got a guitar or something he's the tallest yes yes i had the cd of that and the middle one who is that then should need to find him i don't know charlie oh here's a clearer image yeah yeah he yeah he's the most attractive one yeah can you zoom in on that yeah he's in like yeah loved him loved him what are their names but tv show let me think what tv show we were watching barney that'll give you a sexual awakening no i'm not thinking sexual awakening clifford the big red dog what was that other big red Big, big animal that was in a house.

12:38Bear in the big blue house. Oh, yeah. Bear in the big blue house. Good time. That was a good show. Also, shout out the Tweenies. Shout out Always Saw Them Live. Yeah, I love the Tweenies. And shout out...

13:00Shout out CBBC.

13:09shout out cbbc i miss that don't you cbc remember like just like it'd be 7 p.m it was like we're closed till tomorrow how shit is that what's it yeah it turned off it was like come back tomorrow 6 a.m like i did that i like c i tv that was really good but also that closed off 8 p.m sorry come back no it might be about seven oh good times so tv they should do reruns of just all that CBBC stuff because I would put it on. That Raven show, You're Trapped. The Raven show wasn't CBBC. Oh, the guy with the staff. Yeah, I thought you were going to say that's so Raven. Oh, yeah. No, that Raven show. Which TV show you gave me a little bit about?

13:52Bridgerton. How old are you? Oh, but, okay. You have to, if anything, yeah, anything's going to awaken? Vampire Diaries. Have you ever watched vampire diaries no scared missing out so good yeah yeah yeah so good sweet life of zach and cody nice twilight must have done something for you then yeah but i was like i was 15 i've been in and gone busted man looking at busted boys at five years old prison break never seen it but want to watch it i watched episode one of that i've watched a couple years ago too yeah i was locked in yeah yeah orange is the new black nice i love that that's just 2020 realness uh friday night dinner i don't even know what that is do you friday night dinner never seen i've heard of that naked attraction nice and that was all we love that show 90210 nice we've got in practice here men trench coat scene that's not oh that's not ringing a bell It's not ringing a bell for me.

14:54Sorry. But Love Now 2. Riverdale. Not watched, but heard good things. Skins. Traitors. Whoa. Okay. Steven from the new season, I guess. Yes, absolutely. Jersey Shore. Love. Never really watched it, but. Do you remember when I was in my Geordie Shore phase? No. Sorry. And I would watch it every night. Don't remember that at all. On my iPad. Don't remember that at all. Every, all seasons. Wow. Really living life. Really living life. Don't know. Probably watching 90210. Or Desperate Housewives. As was I. I was watching 90210. But yeah, I had my Julie Shore phase. Maybe that was post-18 when it was like, whoa, I can relate to the drinking.

15:41Yeah, like get me on this show. I'm a party animal. Oh, this will resonate with you. Definitely. What? When Shrek turned into a man in Shrek 2. Oh, I wrote that. i said oh you said that in rock yeah not a tv show but it's just what sprang to mind very cool yeah when he took that potion fucking hell yeah yeah that was me too what was he rivalry okay now give it someone else a chance i didn't know if they'd be included did you watch all that oh yeah you watched it before me love it teen wolf yes did you watch that did you not watch team wolf you would never watch any of the wolf vampire shit no but you obviously felt love that from jacob yeah loved team wolf pretty little liars yeah this is teen hood tell me lies yeah what yeah isn't that kind of new yeah but you know There was a lot of sex in that.

16:48Sorry, no. That's big little lies. I always get the two confused. Sorry. Yes, and you gave up on Tell Me Lies. Sorry, yeah, I did. It was too anxiety-inducing. East Endos. Interesting. Interesting. There's a lot of storylines going on there. Glee. Nice. I enjoyed Glee. I miss Glee. Yeah, I enjoyed that. I'm going back home and putting on on E4. Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Did you ever watch that? Yeah, but it's not really familiar. Me neither. desperate housewives euphoria never watched that either you should lock in and watch before the next season comes i should lock in but i won't but i i'll plan because that's coming back soon deadly 60 with steve blackshaw yes welcome back to deadly 60 we've got a snake back here yeah he's like david see he was the cbbc david attenborough guy what like welcome back to deadly Deadly 16, we've got lions in cages.

17:44And we're about to feed them some pigeons. I've never heard of that. This was on CBBC? Yeah. Wow. That was good. That was good TV. I was watching her and Henry. And he was handsome. You know who Steve Blackshaw is. I've never heard of that name. Yeah, you do. This is Steve from his back in the day. Isn't that Steve Irwin? No, Sophia. This is Steve Blackshaw. Blackshaw. Okay. Really? You never watched Deadly 16? I'm surprised your brother never watched it with you. Really? Where were you? Not ringing any bells. Really, where were you? Look, he's holding a snake. Not ringing any bells. Look, look, look.

18:20I'm surprised you watched that. It's a bit scary for you, isn't it? No, not at all. It just must have been on a good time to fill some hours, I don't know. Fill a void. But I love that. As a young teen. Look, you see, look, he's come face to face with a snake. I mean, you know what I used to watch and love, but you never watched it. But I know some people will resonate. Hope and faith. home improvements and what was the other show called let me think but there was like three really good shows on this one specific channel hope and faith i used to love and you know who faith is she's the woman kelly and regis from the american like the talk show she's kelly and the man she met on the show is now her husband and now he does she does the show with her husband it's like Kelly and Mark now Consuelas or something loved Hope and Faith I'm sure Megan Fox was in it I'm sure she could have been like one of the teenagers loved Hope and Faith and then there was a show I oh Eight Simple Rules did you ever watch Eight Simple Rules I don't know what I wasn't on this channel Eight Simple Rules was like my favorite show of all time and you know who's in it penny from big bang theory and she's like the teenage yeah yeah yeah yeah she's like the popular teen eight simple rules was so good but then it was so sad because i'm sure after season one or season two the dad died in real life and they kind of worked it into the storyline it was really sad but then oh eight simple rules was so good wow and then there was one show called home improvements with tim allen i don't know what that channel was but that was a great channel No, it was just called Her Improvements, but it was just like American sitcom, like 25 minute episodes.

20:08So good. And then like they've all kind of got the same house, but obviously they decorate it differently for each show. But you kind of feel like it was all filmed the same. Oh, so good. Wow. TV was better back in the day. So good. We've got here Doctor Who. No. Not really my thing. Ever since that Angel episode. I loved it. Ever since that gas mask episode. That scared me so much. Not for me. With those men in gas masks coming for him and whoever. It was the statues moving every time they blinked for me. And then the statues would just get closer to them. No, no. H2O. I never watched that. I never watched that.

20:48Is that Cleo? Cleo. Or is that Aquamarine? Whatever it's called. Is that the film we watched on tour? Cleo. That's Aquamarine. Is it? I don't know what you're referencing here. at all sorry Cleo that's Bretman Rock

21:07Bretman Rock's niece is called Cleo no that it's the Australian mermaids no Cleo is H2O I think it could be H2O I always thought that was a Bretman Rock reference no Cleo it's like when she gets water on her legs and then she turns into a mermaid oh Bretman Rock yeah it's called Cleo that's a Bretman Rock yeah that's a Bretman Rock reference no Cleo well we've said that so many times you always thought that was a Bretman Rock thing the whole Australia tour on stage we were like no Cleo we thought it was Bretman Rock I'm sure it's a H2O reference or it's that aquamarine thing it's not aquamarine I've seen that a lot of times they're not they're not australian the condensation it's h2o oh my god wow you really thought it was brettman rock that's really yeah i thought that was something that him and his sister said to cleo why would it be australian i don't know i genuinely do not i just let you do your thing and i'll join in you know and the final one was sex in the city classic nice yeah nice right should we dive in absolutely x-rated cleo absolutely sorry have you been watching blue therapy i've had it on i've seen lots of clips oh and you know what it reminds me of that thing we used to watch on youtube whatever hell that was we loved that and it was all scripted yes it's all scripted but apparently our real stories i think this is real i'm so locked in i i i put on the first episode because i was seeing all these clips i was like i've got to watch this it's triggering me too much why because the men are just awful like a lot of it i was just like no oh my god i was loving it blueberries parkoring blueberries climbed up on the back of the chair bloom will be careful she likes to parkour oh my god it is so good we sat down yesterday and we watched maybe like three episodes i think yeah and it was so good so basically it's on netflix blue therapy and it's three different couples and yeah they just come in like with their issues but obviously and we used to watch this thing on youtube didn't we ages ago like literally when we were at school what was that it was a similar concept of like couples couples therapy because remember was that big scandal when it came out that it was all scripted because you know genuinely no one knew everyone thought it was legit yeah it came out that the couples were fake and it wasn't real but this is so good yeah because remember didn't one of the guys come out and say it and it's like this big thing yeah but it's like each couple's got their own issue so there's one couple who like she together for seven years she really wants to get married and he's like i don't i saw that i saw her say her stuff yeah the next couple is like she earns twice as much as him See, that was what was triggering me.

24:12But did you keep watching? There's a big spoiler about him. Oh, is there? He's like, there's one thing that you don't know about me. And then it all came out. Okay, don't tell me. Don't tell me. Like really good. And then the other couple, they've got a child. They've got a one-year-old. Because she was paying 70 % of the bills and the rent or something. Yeah, that was the other couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the third couple, they've got a child, but there's trust issues. And yeah, it's so good. Didn't they just get back together because she was pregnant? and then there's kind of a bit of resentment there.

24:41Yeah, there's a bit of resentment there. Yeah. Oh my God, it's so good. Because I saw when she was like, would you be together if you didn't have a child? I think we should get the couples therapist on the show. She was a genius. That lady. Yeah. She made a TikTok actually. Did she? She was like, we're top 10 in Netflix. I'm glad to follow her. I thought she was fantastic. Okay. Yeah. Good TV wreck. I was watching it like, oh, you need to, I think you'd really like it. It's just like that, what the hell was that show called? I think it had the word blue in it. I think it was called, it was very similar name.

25:15Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. Just to say, we are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a lighthearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you. We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

25:43okay first dilemma here wow i'm here to listen i unknowingly peed in his mouth listen hopefully you were hydrated sarah if you're not clenching and you're relaxed yeah and you just release you know a little bit of urine hello my lovelies i love listening to the pod and patreon every week thank you shout out patreon see you on monday i was lucky enough to see you at one of the Melbourne shows why is everyone Australian I want to go back to Australia I was the last girl you chose from the crowd where I definitely had won too many bevies apologies that's absolutely fine Sarah where I shared about where I was going to be meeting up with my ex-boyfriend for the first time the day after your show okay okay now on to my ex-rated story about said boyfriend.

26:36By the way, we've been back together for over six months. So the meetup went well. Congratulations. And our relationship has been nothing but amazing. I met my boyfriend 2021, June. We had our first date and the day after he invited me over to his place to stay the night. Well, of course I went. How could I resist? This is when we got intimate for the first time. And after a little while he suggested I sit on his face so he could go down on me. There were a few moments where I tense. a few times and after a little while he asked if i had peed in his mouth all these times i was tensing i must have unknowingly been letting a little pee slip through into his mouth should she have been drinking how much so he could taste it is that what he's saying i think he's saying like are you peeing right now is that urine i was so embarrassed what would you have done in this situation when i went home the next day i never knew that was going to be the last time i would see him wait what what this is her boyfriend oh sorry when i went home the next day i knew that was going to be the last time i would see him but look over three and a half years later we're still happily together he will never let me forget about it though really i thought he would have been a guy who probably would have enjoyed they're really cute He looks like he'd enjoy a bit of piss in the mouth I know like also like In the shower like yeah you know I feel like men are more Incline to the urine It's a nice little house of CB dress there you got there I mean Sarah I would just own it You've been together for three and a half years I was a little pissed here and there And also like in the bedroom like all your Inhibitions let it go It's like at this point you know I'm fully naked Yeah like you've seen it all before I've seen it, exactly.

28:24What to be embarrassed about. Especially like your boyfriend seeing you poo, wee, you know, all sorts. It is what it is, isn't it? Yeah. Not really a dilemma. No, it wasn't, was it? But thanks for sharing, Sarah. It was a lovely story. I enjoyed that. Rothy's is up to something big. The famous Flats brand has reimagined their iconic point shoe to be better than ever. To celebrate its 10th anniversary, Rothy's made the point even more beautiful and comfortable than before. Every closet needs a little black flat, and Rothy's makes the best one of all. Discover the point at rothys.com and learn why this timeless shoe is so special.

29:04That's R-O-T-H-Y-S dot com. Quick question. When was the last time a display ad changed your mind? Now think about the last time a friend told you about something they loved. Different feeling, right? That's how podcast advertising works. A host who's built real trust with their audience talks about your brand in their own words, in their own voice. It doesn't interrupt the experience. It's part of it. With Acast, you can access the world's largest podcast marketplace. Choose the right shows, the right audiences, the right format. Then watch the data tell you it worked. You're not buying impressions.

29:39You're buying influence. Learn more by visiting acast.com slash advertise.

30:02Right. A dilemma for us. Our Sarah here says, in five years, we never had sex. Okay, let's see where this is going. Are we waiting till marriage? Maybe. Are we just friends with a lot of sexual tension very true hello girly pops my bestie introduced me to you both about two years ago and now i can't get enough to fuel our weekly girls bathroom addiction i wanted to write in with a dilemma so me and her can sit down and watch on her massive new 75 inch fucking hell our faces are so big right now 75 is huge fucking massive mine's a 50 inch i don't even know what mine is but it's not that 75 inch is cinema size isn't that the whole like i swear it's like the length of that it's the length of that that's huge wow that's very hd i don't like the thought of me being that big either minimizes please yeah please put us in the corner please um and that she has just got that she's just got in her new house we can feel like we are right there with you hee hee let's get it girls well sarah's lock in lock in when i was younger i got into a relationship with my ex Brian who was a year older than me the first couple of months we were inseparable and at this point we still hadn't had sex but had done bits the the one time we did try to have sex he went to put a condom on and I'm not sure if it was old slash expired but he went to rearrange and instantly got in loads of pain and said it took a bit of his willy skin off

31:42can condoms do that what just because it was expired they have the power to remove skin he doesn't take skin off what do you mean took a bit of his willy skin maybe it got maybe he trapped a bit of skin maybe it got pinched he's like my willy has been sliced my willy's been enslaved right okay so he's gone so this is their first time like getting down oh no he's going one second one second let me just wrap up like trembling a little bit like trying to get it on quick he's trying to be quick and keep the momentum you're sat there like

32:19oh goodness just laying there like okay so he's gone help me it's took a bit of my willy skin off oh no now i don't know if this was an excuse oh oh but surely there'd be blood a lot of lot of blood a bit of willy skin had been sliced off there's that part of the penis that can sorry to any men listening not to make you like squeam but there's a part that can rip and it's like a bloodbath yeah bloodbath yeah um but i never saw it like a bloodbath she said i never saw it what the skin yeah she did like look at it in the eyes and going yes you have like you've ripped God, let me look. Let me stroke it.

32:56I've got a plaster for you. Let me see. I've got some kitchen roll. Okay. Okay, so you just kind of took his word like, I've ripped my skin. Yeah. And you were like, oh, you didn't see it with your own eyes. Yeah. So in her mind, she thought it was a bit of an excuse. Nerves. Look, if it's his first time too with you, performance anxiety. Performance anxiety. Or maybe his, you know, erection weaned off. And he was nervous. Maybe the con was too big. definitely um I don't sorry I don't mean definitely definitely I didn't know what I was saying but she's saying but I never saw it with my own eyes granted we then didn't have sex as he was in pain she's caught pain ah she's doubting him this was five years ago she said when we were younger hmm fast forward what a couple of months after he had recovered she's putting quotes i noticed he was still not initiating any sex and even doing bits was very few and far between okay so now he's recoiled he's not that once confident man well maybe the condom injury scared him so but but we're together he's my boyfriend we're in a relationship are we doing other sexual activities i just said even doing bits was very few and far between so after the willy skin incident it kind of got shut down okay she said covid then came around and we barely saw each other so when we did finally get to spend time together it was not taken for granted as much the arguing lessened and we decided to move in together so we've still not had sex wow this happened covid was three years

34:46so now we've moved in together what have we been doing we've been chatting on facetime his penis like has he got one that's that's a good point that's a good point well we've done bits so i imagine we've been down there and had a look around okay um so you have not so now we're moving in together right and you're thinking this is great covid's over yeah finally be my boyfriend and like yeah finally let's finally consummate the marriage yeah let's connect let's connect Let's get intimate. I thought this would solve our intimacy issues. When two become one, let's go. But we broke up a few months after as nothing changed.

35:19I'd initiate. Initiate? I'd initiate and just get shut down. Something is up and medical issues up, I believe. So we broke up. Fine. I had woken up out of my love bubble and realized five years in a relationship with no sex is not the one. And that the grass is definitely greener elsewhere. Jesus that's a great realization to come to Sarah I'm glad you had that years of just like trying to initiate and he's just like oh I'm so ouch you know blood blood like but I can see how you kind of just like COVID happened and yeah he's got his excuses and it's the love goggles it is the love goggles yeah and there's always a reason there's always like oh okay well I guess that doesn't And you're like believing him.

36:07Anyway, she's like, fuck that. The grass is greener. Thank God I'm out of that. He used to tuck the duvet between us when we spooned so that he didn't rub up against me. So this guy was really like, we are not having sex. This guy wants to keep his penis private. Did you even see him naked? That's what I mean. Did you even see it? Yeah. He doesn't even want to feel anything. Did you ever like have a shower together? I bet you didn't. No, I know. not getting in the bath it sounds like he is trying everything to stay away from anything sexual that could possibly happen he does not want to turn you on either no we would only ever peck on the lips never made out properly with tongues ever he is just like we are not ever having sex no dirty talk no smacking my ass no saucy pics just nothing to differentiate me from being just a friend other than a peck once in a while on your birthday and christmas yeah merry christmas jesus he was my bestest friend so we had a great friendship see that's why she stayed yeah and we loved each other as people which i think is what kept us together as there wasn't necessarily any lust but to this day i just can't understand how as a man you can lay next to your fit girlfriend and not want to rip her clothes off something medical it has to be it's got to be something medical every time i tried to talk about it it would get shut down and he'd get annoyed thinking i was gonna say like did you not ever discuss it like how are we five years in and we've never had a conversation about like what's going on here it probably just became the norm for her yeah and it became a bit of a taboo like thing to talk about and then if he got his defenses up it always kind of ended in a bit of an argument.

38:00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, she says that every time she brought it up, he would think that I'm starting an argument, so I just gave up eventually. Oh my God. If we did do bits, I'd make him come and then have to drag his hand onto me so I can get my fix. He never really seemed willing. So interesting, isn't it, Sophia? That's fascinating. This is fascinating. I'd love to give this man a ring and just like dive deep. I know. he never wanted me to talk about our problems to my friends as he was he was probably embarrassed and it caused so much ag between us if they knew about our arguments that I stopped telling them anything two years in so it sounds like all your arguments were literally to do with this the lack of intimacy and pretended we had finally had sex oh so to your friends you guys just pretended like nothing was going on none of them actually knew the truth until we broke up now I am pleased to report that I've been single for a few years and attempting dating properly again thriving traveling traveling loads working on me and my career a regular gym and pilates goer life is bliss and now I'm dating someone new but I just feel awkward at times making any moves are being affectionate with them that makes sense yeah that makes sense you want kind of you've been programmed to think that whenever you make a move it ends up exactly or an argument never yeah like made the move and it's never been welcomed or like positively received it's always been shut down left you feeling rejected left you just like a weird encounter where they're not really yeah so i'm not surprised that you've kind of lost a bit of confidence in that area because it's never it's not worked well for you in the past because this guy was no asexual i think yeah like you weren't feeling confident sexually and that makes so much sense um so she's just saying how so i need your help how do i get that confidence back to make sexy moves on a partner and show affection again what is the normal amount of sex sexual conversations affection sending saucy pics in a healthy relationship is it normal for a partner to be and talk sexually with you every day or do they want or do they only want you for sexual purposes if they are like that what actually is healthy what actually is a healthy love slash a relationship what should it be like attach attach pics of me and brian because this is the no sex boy i believe so pics of me now thriving and smiling and my new hot hunk you cannot get it hot as it should be and we are finally giving it a proper after three years of things getting on our way.

40:41So need your assistance. What? This is another matter. What do you mean three years? Maybe he's from work. Oh my God. Look at this. This has been spanning over a seven year period. What does she mean? This is no sex, Brian. Okay. I'm so curious about this. He looks kind of familiar. Does he not look familiar? Is he very blurry? Oh my God. Does he not look fucking someone from school? Someone from school. The boy you used to fancy. Me? Yeah. That to me looks like someone else from school. Couple years above. Are you like getting this? Couple years above. Like quite high above. Oh my God. What the fuck?

41:23Pretty unassuming. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Look close. Yeah. The two of you. A hug. Right. This is our thriving, sexy, beautiful. Mr. Hunky Hunk. Well, no, this is Sarah smiling post-breakup. I mean. Post-breakup glow. Stunning. Wow. It's like a new woman, Sarah. You've got life in your eyes. Bombshell. Wow, you look gorgeous. Are you ready to see the hot honk? I'm ready to see Mr. Honky Chunky Duncan. So I'm thinking this boy's been in her DMs for quite a while. And she's had sex with this man. I'm not sure if we've had sex yet. Right. Oh, wow. Mr. Hunky-dunky. Yeah, very nice. So she's kind of saying, if I'm chatting to someone new, is it normal to be talking about sex every day, sending pics every day?

42:20Like what's a healthy medium for like, is this guy looking for a relationship or is he just looking to have sex? Like what? Let me just get her questions up again. so is it normal for a partner to talk about sexuality every day or do they only want you for sexual purposes purposes if they are like that right what actually is a healthy love in a relationship what should it be like i do think if you're talking to someone new and it's purely purely sexual as we've experienced kind of recently unsolicited then it they all that is just what they want from you i think so yeah i think if it's if it's like if it's someone new and i also think like if you are asking yourself does this man just want like yes then you're probably then you're probably right because i don't think you'd be asking yourself that for no reason like exactly you wouldn't be asking yourself if you're having like a genuine get to know conversation and like at every turn he just tries and tries to take it down a sexual route and it's like, no, no, no, I'm not going that way.

43:26I'm going this way. Then, yeah, I think it's pretty safe to say that he probably just wants to have like a sexual relationship with you and just sleep with you. Look, in terms of, right, she's got the hot hunk. Yes. Okay, and we're trying to go into this as secure as possible after a turbulent five years with someone else. Yes. I think you're probably already exuding something.

43:54probably already exuding something i mean right okay i've got a question for you here she goes yeah should she tell her new hot hunk about her past that about the relationship she's just come out of in the situation there i think it depends where you're at with the relationship like once you guys have maybe it's something that you speak about like maybe a few dates in or i guess whenever it just naturally like the conversation about exes naturally comes up i think kind of early days because you're like when was your last relationship it's like how long have you been single for like it's kind of just like tick box questions so i think it is something you could i don't think there's any harm mentioning it i think it'll be a good thing to share with him just so that you you guys are kind of on the same page and then he can help you in that situation like also like he'll make you if he's the right guy if he is a good guy and he actually likes you yes he will then want to make sure you feel comfortable he'll talk you through things and he'll check on you and it'll be much more beneficial when you guys do get sexual I think I think so too only if he if he like if you tell him and he kind of gets all weird or like shuns you off whatever okay you're not the guy for me but the right guy will be like oh okay that's interesting interesting and he'll ask questions and then he will help you further I think yeah and you'll make it a It's a positive experience when you guys do get sexual and he'll make you feel, make sure you're comfortable.

45:25And I think also your confidence will come back when it comes to initiating. Especially with the right person. I think as soon as you have had a few like successful initiation experiences. Was that even saying? Not even like initiating. Even if he's coming in and taking control, that will give you confidence. Yeah, exactly. It'll be something you've not really experienced in the past five years. Yeah. And it will give you a boost of confidence sexually. I think this is just a time thing. It's a more experienced thing. I think you will find your feet and find your rhythm again. And hopefully like things go well with your new partner.

46:02I agree. Well, it sounds like we've been yearning for him for three years. It really does. It sounds like he's been yearning for you. I honestly want to hear more about the hot hong. Yeah, me too. What do you mean? Three years. Yeah. How's that happened? I want to say it's been three years in the DMs. That's a bad sign though. It is. but maybe this is just what we need we just need a sexual partner yeah let's just get it done yeah like doesn't have to be husband exactly i think as long as he's going to make us feel comfortable and confident let's just let's just rip that band-aid off and give it a crack

46:39right not liking the sound of this one maybe the severe boyfriend masturbates in our bed when i'm asleep number one you are just dirtying up these fucking sheets number one like i've just washed these sheets what the fuck are you doing and what do you mean i'm asleep that i don't this is actually giving i don't know okay also like it's giving lazy like just do it in the shower like if you're really that way do it in your own time in your personal space don't do it like also i'm not asleep i can fucking hear you it's disgusting you've also woken me up yeah like i don't want to hear those fucking noises from you like number two it's all over everywhere you've not even took the initiative to clean up patch now like you just think you can mess up this flat and i'm gonna walk run around you and clean it up no anyway anyway sorry we'll give him the benefit of the doubt let's just let's hear him out shall we so my boyfriend and i have been together for eight years.

47:38This is serious. We've built a life together. He can just masturbate wherever and whenever he pleases. He truly is the light in my life. Okay. We like him then. Okay. Sorry for our previous comments, Sarah. No, we appreciate this man. I couldn't have imagined a more suitable partner for me. We love him. We appreciate him. We're glad he's here. But when it comes to sex, it's been lacking. okay that was actually one of my questions was it yeah it was we have been living together in our apartment for four years now wow we both work nine till five monday to friday so we enjoy a little lion on saturday oh i love a lion on saturday there are some weekends where i am woken up by feeling movement in the bed fuck oh i tend to wake up saturday morning saturday morning No work.

48:32Horny. Just pounding one into his hand. I tend to be... Ew! You've never said that before in your life. I have. That is disgusting. That is so disgusting. She has never said that before. It's fucking like pounding one into his hand. That is... That actually knocked me sick. Came to be creative. That actually knocked me completely sick. lovely blueberries asleep didn't have to hear that that is so it's true though like the duvet is moving up and down like and she's slowly opening her eyes so because of this he's obviously waking up ready to go yes because of this i realize what the movement is that i am feeling so you've not even caught him red-handed yeah he thinks he's getting away with you can hear it i thought it was at least like late at night and and now hearing brian was wanking in the bed when i was lying next to him asleep this has now happened several times it's his routine it's his routine do you think he gets a thrill out of either doing it i know but i'm just trying to get into the psyche do you think he gets a thrill out of doing it next to you kind of like oh is she gonna like catch me i think he's waking up with a bigger action and on work days he's got to get up and go he's not got time to pound one into his hand because he's got to get up he's got to get on the train he's got to go he's got to go and he's thinking oh finally the sweet release like saturday morning like i think he's just lazy and it's just whacking one out right there and then I don't his girlfriend's getting a kick out of it I don't think his girlfriend's right there I think he's not even considering that she's there I think he's just can't be asked to get up how can you be so bold this has happened several times I have tried to make it seem as though I am waking up and he stops straight away and acts like nothing's happened ooh ooh ooh also like if you're horny why don't you just roll over and go what are you doing he'd shit himself but also like he pulls his willy off ew but also like if you're horny I'm here just get the covers and go honestly I think maybe that's the tactic but also just like let's just have sex wake me up wake me up before you go go like if you you know what I mean like why are you being all secret like you're being we're bare weird now you're being very weird this is weird what do you mean you stop straight away because he's like shit she see me But it's like, could that be turned into a nice moment for the two of you on a Saturday morning?

51:29There's possibilities there. Well, I think you're probably in shock. Like, what the fuck is going on right now? And he's obviously like embarrassed. Maybe it's a bit of a kick. He said, how long can I go until she starts to stir? There have also been times where I just wait for it to be over.

51:47No, I am not a confrontational person. So the thought of catching him out in the moment is harrowing. harrowing sarah are you okay harrowing harrowing no sarah harrowing we used to have sex quite a lot in the beginning of our relationship but in recent years it has drastically died down we maybe have sex once every two weeks ish i know this can be natural with long-term relationships but knowing that he is seeking that satisfaction from his hand when i am literally in the bed beside him is really hurtful. Right. Like I know I'm asleep, but surely you can wake me up. Yeah. I'm quite a sexual person, so it's rarely the case that I wouldn't be in the mood.

52:36When I try to think why he does this, it makes me feel really unwanted and unsexy. I would really love to know what you think I should do. Is there a subtle way I could approach this? Thank you, girlies. Here is the hand master himself.

52:53don't gag this is the light of sarah's life let me see him again that was sorry so it was just the way she said this oh amazing beard kind eyes gorgeous suits right sarah you're gorgeous ever see sarah i know she is he's bagged a hot eight yeah i knew it i mean gorgeous like he's really putting up bombshell yeah he really is he needs to watch he needs to watch himself yeah he needs to watch himself what do you mean saturday morning saturday morning you're whacking one out i just think it's really hurtful and it's really what's the word it's just like when i just think it's so disrespectful as well like how can you be like i'm i'm next to you in bed and you are just gonna like masturbate next to me when you've not even like you haven't woken me up with a few kisses and like ask me for a cuddle and like try to be intimate with me at all like it's just giving laziness and i just really do think it's disrespectful i also think it's a turn off to you sarah like how does he expect you to feel he obviously just thinks that you've got no idea he's being so secretive and thinks you're like dead asleep yeah that's exactly he thinks you've got no idea no idea and that he's just getting away with it but it's really disappointing when it's like he like we're both not stupid about what our sex life is right now and you're choosing to kind of do that in a moment when you're horny and whatever yeah over like oh when like i'm right here yeah it's saturday morning we're in no rush you know over like a moment where it's like he could use his initiative and think you know what we've got time i'm in the mood let's see if sarah's in the mood and like let's be intimate this Saturday morning.

54:42I mean, have you guys even chatted about what's going on right now in the bedroom? Sounds like it's a topic that she doesn't really like to approach. But maybe next steps, we should speak about it. We've been together for eight years. I know, yeah. Gosh, guys, it's been eight years. Let's try and chat about it. And also, we just can't start normalizing this. You don't want to go to sleep every Friday night thinking, well, I know what my alarm clock's going to be. That's a harrowing night's sleep. That is harrowing. and that is mental yeah and also this can't go on this can't go you don't want to be with someone who you know you guys aren't kind of got that spark right now and we need to talk about these things yeah i think we do so maybe let's try and have that conversation and if you don't want to like point it out directly and be like i know you've been like masturbating next to me then why don't you just speak more generally about your sex life that's what i think we should do and then see what he says about it yeah and then just monitor it going forward but honestly like I know you don't want to but I would like catch him out in the moment and be like what the fuck are you doing you've been doing this for quite a few months now yeah like I'm not stupid not stupid I think eventually I would have to say I think you would have to because I don't know what his goal is there with that or what is going through his brain no I don't I don't like you both like I know you've been together for eight years but it's that thing we said recently like you can't stop dating like you've both got to make an effort with each other like you both have to like yeah you know I don't know it just sounds like he can't be asked he's being lazy yeah and you want to get that back like if you guys you've been living together for four years you oh I like you said Sarah you're a sexual person yeah so it sounds like it's on his part not your part so I think pick his brain let's speak about it yeah let's just say look we we only have sex going on far between what's going on I'd be interested to know like because like he's obviously horny yeah like does he ever reject you when you initiate because that would be quite interesting and it's like okay but you are horny because you're doing that but then also like you but you just don't want to do it with me like that would be interesting if you maybe tried initiating more and just seeing what response you got from him well good luck Sarah I think Definitely speak to him just about your sex life in general.

57:06And honestly, just catch him in the act. Go, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. I can hear that, you know. Keep it down. Even just don't turn over and say, I can hear that. Yeah. You'll shit himself. You will shit himself. Best of luck for the weekend. Best of luck. Saturday's going around quick. I'll be thinking of you. Every Saturday morning now, I'm thinking of that, unfortunately. Sarah, please keep us posted. Please. Okay. Okay, let's turning around here. Wow, gorgeous. We've got a star of the week today. Need it. Hey girls, I would like to nominate my Brian. Mark, another Mark. Our life is full of Marks.

57:44We love Marks. Marks are great. Never met a bad one. Full star of the, we haven't. We just got back from a surprise four night trip to Vanuatu. Wow. For my 30th birthday. Happy birthday, Sarah. New decade. He organised the whole thing himself I didn't know anything until we arrived to check in At the counter at the airport He booked a gorgeous resort on a private island Surprised me with gifts, balloons, banners On the bed after my morning shower And just went above and beyond to make my 30th birthday special He is truly one in a million and I couldn't have asked for anything more Ladies never settle Picks attached Our girls this week needed that I think Beautiful And here's our Sarah and Mark Stunning Oh Sarah and Mark A gorgeous radiant couple Wow Mark's teeth are glowing Yeah Mark's happy to be in Vanuatu I think He knows he's doing well with this holiday He's pretty chuffing himself Oh well we love to hear that after The masturbating in the bed Don't we Please if anyone's got any advice Please email in and we can share it Sarah can't be the only girl in the world That's experienced that So I just looked at the picture up close of the masturbator and it is kind of harrowing Sarah you're right like the thought of waking up to that is actually not nice so I'm sorry I'm just zooming in on him yeah like yeah all right anyone's got any advice please let us know we will see okay it's been a rough x-rated this week and we'll see you patreon some Monday we love you guys on Wednesday please email your dilemmas to hello at the girls bathroom.com along with your star of the week and do follow us on instagram tiktok youtube um where else that's it is that all i believe so yeah have a good week guys if we were part of the patreon we'll see you on monday if not we'll see you back here next wednesday Love you.

59:41Bye.

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