X-RATED: WHOOP told me he was masturbating?!

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1:36Don't let it get the best of you Welcome back Hello We're getting sexual up in here today It's X-rated I'm wearing my sexy red outfit It's time for X-rated Oh, very nice Animal my period so it's fitting Wow, red all round, hey? I do want to get red nails actually for January Are you in the season of red nails? Yeah, I am Yeah? I am And yeah, I am I'm ready I feel like a red too actually Yeah, I think it's January is for red I was thinking about doing a black yeah very cool since i'm rocking the short i'm thinking about doing a black because i was watching old keeping up you know the old keeping up is on from season nine onwards or season seven is on disney now so uh and chris had these short black nails and i was like yeah i like that very i support that 2016 is back i used to only exclusively have black toenails me too And I thought that was the look.

2:34Yeah. And I might do that. Remember that bottle? I think it's really nice. Remember that bottle of navy nail polish that I had? It was like dark, dark. Navy is chic. Chic. And that was the color that I used to rock. That is nice. At the weekends because no nail varnish for school. That is nice. Was it short? Because navy long. No. But it could also work. But navy short is. absolutely so I'm thinking about it absolutely I support that absolutely it was the same color as your jeans yeah I guess so yeah but deeper yeah you know when it's like what color is that is it black no it's blue yeah Lydia reminded me we actually have Lydia in the studio today which is shout out um she reminded me that I watched Twilight over Christmas tell me I don't know how you watch that as a tween i read those books well i watched one and two and i thought i loved it i love what i like the first one which is like i just you know stop because twilight is like like we all know i wrote ron like i got a signed photo back yeah like yeah that was lovely yeah i enjoyed the first one went to the cinemas in that's got my went to the t-shirt printer in nottingham got the iheart Epical and T-shirts.

3:55I remember Sophia and I just wasn't a part of it. Good and it was so sad. I read those books back to back four times. And there's how many three? There's four. Four and then they split the six films. We need to watch Breaking Dawn part one. Anyway I was trailing off a little bit. Wait okay start from the beginning. What did you think of number one? I enjoyed the first one. You've never watched Twilight before right? Because I liked like the yearn.

4:22You're I liked the first one. It was the year teenage love. Teenage love. Does he like me? Teenage love. I'm trying to remember now because it was a while ago. Like, you know, the year I thought he was going to eat her. Whatever. It was good. It is pretty PG. And then she wants to be the vampire. Yeah. He won't let her. Because she's aging. Yeah, and she doesn't like that she's aging. I don't know why anyone would root for the werewolf. Jacob. That's not love. They were just friends. She went to him in a desperate time because she was heartbroken. Is that correct? Yeah. Wow, okay. You're going to upset a lot of people.

4:57Really? Well, I was always Team Edward, but actually - Yeah, I don't know how you could be Team Werewolf. Actually, as an adult, I think the smarter choice was probably Jacob. See, this is very - And I understand why her father was rooting for Jacob. Yeah, he was a safer option. He was. And she wasn't having to low-key die and become an immortal. Well, exactly. It's very Conrad and Jeremiah coded. Okay. like you want comrade because edward to my core yeah me too like i and i always used to be like how the fuck can you be on team jacob like it's a fucking joke who the fuck is yeah well she went to him when she was watching it as an adult i'm like oh i can see why so this is why you would skew team jeremiah unfortunately oh yeah okay exactly why what you've said okay because comrade was that it's the real love but you know you struggled book two oh sorry you stopped at film Yeah, it ended when I, oh, I can't remember, but I watched the two of them.

5:52Why did you not watch three then? I didn't have time, babes. Right. And I was only watching them when Mariana was in and she's got a boyfriend now, so she was out the house. Oh, yeah. Damn it. Because she was educating me through it. Why don't you watch three tonight? Yeah, I could do. You've got three more movies to enjoy. Yeah, I could do. And dare I say, number three is a fantastic choice. But then it was getting a bit slow. Was it getting a little bit slow? Absolutely. When was it getting slow? Because Lydia, you were also in the room, no? It was getting a little slow, wasn't it? When was it getting slow?

6:22You didn't like it. Lydia wanted it off. But I just don't know how you watched that when you were younger. Why? Because weren't they having sex and stuff? No, they couldn't have sex. They couldn't control themselves. Oh, see, I was asking a lot of questions. Wait till you hit Breaking Dawn, though. That's when it pops off. Well, I was asking a lot of questions from Mariana. You haven't seen nothing yet. Like, are they having sex? No, no, no, no, no. Did she have sex with the werewolf? No, no, no. Did she have sex with the werewolf? or would he turn into a werewolf? No, he wouldn't turn into a werewolf.

6:49But anyway, I enjoyed it. And it actually opened my eyes on what goes on in your brain. Cause that's what you watched when you were 14. Yeah. Yeah. Constantly. Yeah. It's very interesting actually. Yeah. Psychology of you. Me and Sarah, we were locked in. I know, Sarah Whittaker, shout out. Yeah. Well, we actually, she took me to the cinema to watch New Moon. I remember. And I hadn't seen the first one. And I left that film being like, oh my God, that was the best thing ever. That was your sexual awakening. My brain chemistry has been altered. And then Sarah was like, yeah, well, that was number two.

7:20And I was like, holy shit, there's a number one. I knew Sarah liked that shit. And I was like, wow, here we go. Let's dive in. It's incredible. I do want to get through them because I do feel like it's something that's spoken about. You really should. It's a part of pop culture that you've missed. I do. I have flashback. Is there a scene in one of the later films where she's really skinny? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have I seen that then? Is she done my house props? Or is she turning into a - No, I always said turn this shit off. No, she's - Well, you'll have to watch it and find out. Does she just - She's stopped eating.

7:56No, you have to watch it and find out. That's when she's turning into a vamp, isn't it? No. Edward, bite me. Anyway, yeah, it was - Bite me, Edward. I'm glad I was educated. Yes. Wow. Thank you. Come up here, Bloobie. And how's your Desperate Housewives journey going? You stopped that. That never started. so you lied to us well I tried to didn't I I watched a couple Wisteria Lane yeah I was I got there somewhat but then I just was I retreated back unfortunately have you seen a few more years no not yet yeah you see take two to tango babes I've been telling you to watch Desperate Housewives for a decade it's not quite the same well I did enjoy it you started watching Tell Me Lies last week yeah true but that's what hooked me okay Steven DeMarco get to know okay we'll get to know you watch your clips also mum last night you know how she's going for all those old pictures yeah that was making me laugh mum found this big like photo albums full of all these old pictures where's she been hiding that it was in the back room somewhere and she said when we went to the Saturdays concert she said there's all these pictures of the Saturdays on stage and no pictures of us so we must have been passing around that camera and just taking pictures of them on the Royal Concert on stage of course we were I know zooming in I know Yeah we went to see the Saturdays So we've got loads of pictures of the Saturdays So I was like oh so a picture of us with the Saturdays Just like no just the Saturdays Right should we do the question of the week Yeah let's dive in guys it's X rated And this is our question of the week Come and sit up here See I think Twilight's pretty X rated What?

9:32It's quite like What's X rated about it? Yeah but they're young and in love And they're 17 Yeah and they're experimenting Well, Edward's actually like, what is he, 400 or something? Don't you think that's creepy though? No. I think it was given pleasure a little bit because I thought her mind's young. No, it's not creepy. Her mind's young. I think it's goals. And his mind is old. And I thought you're 600, babe. You're watching it from a two, like imagine watching it though being like 15. Yeah, because you were young and naive. You're like, oh my God, this is like the best thing I've ever seen.

10:03I want to take a fucking vampire. Like, 600 pound of them, bite me. Yeah, still would. Yeah, I want to leave my family and run after the woods. So speaking of delusional, what's the most delusional thought you've had about a hookup? Oh, okay. That's a good segue for myself there. Absolutely. That I was the only girl he was sleeping with. Unfortunately, we have to always assume, we've said this before, always assume there's at least two other women. Six. On his roster. Well, yeah. That's what I said at least. That it would be big. Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah. That he'd fall in love with me. Yeah.

10:37Yeah, yeah. That after four years, he changed his mind and want to be in a relationship. Yeah, I understand. That he just got with another girl to make me jealous. Oh, I like that one. Yeah. And also it's like, you know, you're trying to make me jealous. Like, me. So I'm the one on your mind. I wish I wasn't on birth control so I could have his babies. Wow. Okay, yeah. Trap him down, I say. That he wouldn't find out I also slept with his best friend. I convinced myself I could feel him put it in. Oh! And that it will be better next time. Oh, I see. Micro. So what's the most delusional thought you've had about a hookup that he wanted to marry me?

11:21Yeah, classic. Yeah, classic. That he wouldn't give me chlamydia. Uh-oh. Did you see that girl on TikTok? She's come out with some sort of documentary or something. The first time she had sex, she got an uncurable STD or something. When she lost her virginity. How sad is that? That's awful. Yeah. He will leave his wife for me. That one day he'd actually make me finish. That it was cute. He wanked on me after he couldn't get it up.

11:55That he didn't notice my bosh. I don't think men actually notice a bosh. I don't think they deep it. I think it's quite, I think it's chic. It's very 80s. It is very, it's vintage. Yeah, absolutely. It's as they would once do. The cavemen. And also it does protect it from dust and dirt and dry. It's there for a reason. It's like our eyelashes. It's functional. Exactly. And the eyebrows. Mind you, I don't know the purpose of the eyebrows, do you? Yeah. It's if we were in the sand desert. Stop. When we would have been in a sandstorm. In the sand desert. If we would have been in a sandstorm. Yeah.

12:28It protects us. I thought that was our eyelashes. Both. Gathers in the brows. Nice. Okay. So it is functional? Yeah. All body hair is. All body hair is. Keeps us warm. It was all, it's literally to keep us warm, you know? Blueberry, we don't shave blueberry down. She needs it. Absolutely not. That I didn't finish so the body count doesn't go up. Oh, that's actually a good, good girl math. That's actually smart. That he would be a grower, six foot with a micro. Wow. Wow. You don't see that often. That he was going to ask me out until I found some girl's thong in his glove box. it's unfortunate that is isn't it why well that was that was a nice easy glove box to the x-rated endeavors absolutely i'm ready to dive into whatever we have here today

13:25just before we get into it quick disclaimer just as we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a gp a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well not professionals enjoy the episode okay first dilemma this week we have newlyweds spicing up our sex life with a threesome my girls taylor's oldest time long listener since 2019 and fellow girlie from the Midlands.

14:06Seven years. And been obsessed with you girls ever since. Thank you, Sarah. Thank you for being here. P.S. This applies to Lydia. The Mykonos vlog with the guy falling in the pool lives in my head rent free. There will not be another trip like that. There will never be. That was quite a moment in time. That was just such a - That was one for the history books. An amazing trip with highs and lows. Actually, no lows. No lows. The only low was when we were getting kicked out of that fucking - The only low was night one. God. yeah all but thanks to you you dickhead night one right lydia's bought the biggest fucking suitcase to make an osu you have don't ever travel ever seen right she packs so much stuff night one got nothing to wear sacks of plt parcels sacks of unopened parcels meanwhile the sunset's going down yeah we're ready to go of course means we have planned every outfit meticulously withstood there and she's effing and blinding at Sophia right that's when that's not allowed like you can we can swear each other but not Sophia poor Sophia can't raise her voice because she tries to keep the peace right Sophia's just trying to be the middleman but Sophia actually had to raise her voice yeah she definitely had to say you know something Sophia snapped and if Sophia snaps you know it's serious well you know it was night one yeah and it was like oh it's gonna be a long week yeah because what the fuck so i kept we have to say at mid-date what are you wearing tonight figure out now and your fucking mind now and then she go in your room and get your suitcase sorted then she pulled out like six nice outfits yeah idiot and a random pair of cowboy boots who's bringing cowboy boots to mexico mexico where are we going get fucking chained fucking ankles be sweating and swelling up okay so here's my dilemma i got married in 2025 so still a newlywed but have been with my brian for six years congratulations congratulations i've always been quite a sexual person and i've been quite curious about my sexuality but never really had the opportunity to explore it and i've only become more and more curious okay okay so you're sexually advanced do you want to explore the body she's married now she thinks now let's just do everything here we go i've discussed this with my brian a few years ago and as most men would he has always said he'd be up for a threesome myself him and another woman yeah of course yeah because he wants another penis probably actually spoken about over the past few years as something that we'd like to do.

16:45Nice. But we weren't sure how to make it a reality up until a couple of months. How would you even like, that's so delicate. Where do you find these people? It's such a delicate, like so much riding on it. Remember that girl we had that kept dipping into the gay guys? Yes. Yeah. I miss her and that story. I wonder what she's up to. Okay. So we were never sure. we'd always spoken about it but we weren't sure how to make it a reality up until a couple of months ago when we were out for his birthday in a different city nice it's a good time that is hotel you know not our marital bed yeah hotel different city stranger new faces new faces like we're in edinburgh tonight we're gonna go to scottish you know last kilt lad and just go for it got drunk decided to hire a sex worker to join a professional i mean they know what they're doing that is probably a smart route I think so because it's not like a lady who's maybe gonna fall in love with him and also the sex worker would know she's got experience also she knows how to do this she knows the hygiene she knows the rules she would have done it before with other couples she'd keep it professional she'd make you feel comfortable as the woman yeah she's a professional she's working she's clocked in absolutely I enjoyed watching my husband have sex with her wow is this normal?

18:07however for you that's fine the reality of the threesome wasn't as great as we had imagined both of our initial reactions were that we didn't enjoy it but mostly because of the other female we weren't attracted to her okay okay she had a lot of rules and restrictions as she should and wasn't very into it and she wasn't bisexual meaning she didn't want to do much with me he did say that he'd be up for trying again as i'm keen to experience being with a woman still but neither of us want to do it with a sex worker oh yeah okay yeah yeah okay 180 so what more of a personal experience now i've done some research into this and found that swingers clubs exist oh yeah but he's not you know the one in yeah they do there's one in nottingham is that yeah it's it's your old neck of the woods bubbles i don't know what it's called because they would always be this uh did you it's near snenton market like oh no i'm talking about one where your old flat was that side oh interesting well by the arena yeah there was this like spa all boarded up and it was called bubbles and that was a uh brothel brothel that's the word yes shout out shout out bubbles yeah i never saw anyone come and go though it was always boarded yeah well because yeah yeah i wonder what it was like inside i know interesting i've done some research and found the swingers club exists but he's not really up for this either we've tried tinder a few apps but they don't seem to work and we're worried about people we know seeing us on here my dilemma is i would really like to experience another threesome and the urge grows every day is this normal do you or the listeners know of anyone guys calling out who would like to partake who has had threesomes or swingers and have any suggestions on how to pursue this and can marriages survive this or can you suggest any other ways we could spice up our sex life without involving other people bit of a long one but i don't think you've received a dilemma like this before so hoping it gets right i think you can make this dream a reality i think i think you don't dreams you know that's just something that you guys want to explore i'm gonna google it for you that's normal for you maybe go on reddit use our brains maybe go on reddit okay read no as in i'm saying to sarah oh sorry go on reddit read some people's experiences it's like forums of like oh well we found you know i bet you there's a there's got to be an app there's got to be a place where you can find a swingers app but i do think but isn't swingers couples two couples yeah it's not but there might be solo people in there wanting to look for a couple yeah that's i think that's probably your best bet but he doesn't want to go because everyone's there because otherwise you're going to be on tinder and that's gonna just like you're gonna it's gonna be hard you need to be in person why don't you try next time you guys go to a different city for a night out try a swingers club in a different city i understand you're local yeah you're thinking Go late at night and then there'll be All sorts Maybe yeah there is just ladies who go there looking for Otherwise you've got to go on that Channel 4 show What's it called?

21:29The sex experiment or whatever The sex hotel experiment And there were all those ladies there There was that lovely lady I watched an episode and there was this lady from abroad And she's got a husband and she was just there Looking for couples to have some fun with Is that the show we watched on tour? When they were in the jacuzzi and the wife did we watch that at all yeah yeah that one did we yeah that's crazy and then the wife would come back and be like I went out last night when you fell asleep yeah I was in the sex with like two women and then the man was like too scared or it's the other way around and then she's crying but then that one couple got engaged I think did they oh I might be getting my shows mixed up now and then there was this I don't think you watched this episode but this guy I think I mentioned it on here he literally went and had like sex with six women in the in the hut in the year in the year in the yak in the yak the yak yeah you did tell me about that yeah and then she was in bed and then he came back at like 5am like oh yeah how are you yeah yeah and he was like yeah I was just with like five of them and she was crying oh my god it was awful I mean I think it's great that you're on the same page keep doing more research I feel like Reddit is yeah you know looking for and you're both you both sound equally I mean maybe you even a little bit more but you both sound equally interested in it yes and you're both very like you're here for it you're not like oh my husband really wants this so I'm kind of trying to put myself out of my comfort zone like it sounds like you're both really on board and you had that first experience yeah you enjoyed it somewhat you realized that you liked seeing him with another woman yeah however you just that was positive weren't attracted to her and she wasn't as into it like you need someone who does this yes who like who knows because there are women who get a kick out of being with a couple yeah they like that yeah for sure so you just got it will take time for mine i guess good luck happy married life

23:33okay so this is all about the art of the belfie do you know what belfie is yes of course a bum selfie selfie booty selfies like that arch the back um but would you like to receive a picture of a man's ass no no maybe if you're a gay man yes yes that's the opening yes you know that's the enclosure absolutely um help the treasure chest the treasure trove help he sent me a picture of his mom. Oh, okay, yeah. Wow. Okay. Okay. Maybe it's juicy, bitchy. What, a raw asshole? I think so. Raw and hairy, I think. No pants on? No. Right, okay. Yeah, I'm thinking pantless. Okay. A bum in a pair of boxes is, I mean, yeah, but he definitely would have been showing the jeans.

24:23Wow. Hey, girlies. Love the pod, you're the best. Oh, thank you. I need some serious help. I've been dating a guy for about three weeks now. He is amazing. Okay. Let's go in Brian. It's new. He's so kind. Plans the dates. Nice. He's funny and so attractive. Nice. The issue is, is the conversation. I don't think we've had sex. Okay. It's been three weeks. And she's saying the conversation got a bit sexual. I'm assuming for the first time. Okay. Yeah. The other night. Oh, as it does. After I'd sent him a picture of me at the gym. Oh, okay. But it wasn't a. Yeah, but not a nude, but it was a suggestive.

25:03Yeah, you know, I'm at the gym. I'm looking good. Maybe I'm in a new nice set that I bought and feeling good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said, oh, you're working on your glutes. Yeah, of course I am, baby. Yeah, of course I am. A detail that maybe matters is that my ass was looking good in this pic. Oh, okay, so he's returning the favor of someone. Okay, so it was a nice little. Belfi. Yeah. Archback moment. He later said, unquote, do you want to pick a my bum? or is that weird? That's weird. Let the girls do what we do best, Brian. Nobody wants a picture of your ass. Okay, interesting. So he's thinking, oh, this is normal.

25:39Like she sent a picture of her bum, I should send a picture of my bum. I think that's what he's thinking. Right. Now, I've never received a bum pic from a guy, so I wasn't really sure. But I said, you can send one if you like. Oh, God. I've never had that before. Imagine hearing that from a guy. Yeah. Send it if you want. If you want. God. No. But Sarah, I like that from you. Send it if you want. Yeah, like embarrass him slightly, make him realize his words. Yeah. You know? But I said, you can send one if you like. I've never had that before, but do what you feel comfortable with. Oh, she's had that.

26:11Oh my God. Oh, I've never had that before, but if you feel comfortable. It's like a bucket of cold water on the situation. So he sends it. I can't show you it. It was a once open thing on WhatsApp. Very smart from him. Very smart. I don't even know how to do that. No, I don't. But it's very smart. I thought that was only a DM, Instagram DM thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you could do it on WhatsApp too. Wow, I didn't know that. You can't even screenshot it. Wow. I think. But it was basically if him in the mirror turned to the side. Oh, no. Right, let's switch to this. Him in the mirror turned to the side.

26:42Side profile. They turned to the side and only his lower half was in it. He was in boxers. Okay. But I just don't know how to feel about this. No, I've got the idea. I feel like I'm really overthinking it. Does this mean he's gay? Mark? Mark? She said maybe you could ask Mark. let's get mark on speed dial i feel like men would usually send ones of their their top or a dick pic not yeah it is giving mark it is well mark take as a gay man mark i'm sure he would proudly say he takes pleasure in his bum looking good yeah he really cares about he likes the images they take photos of their ass yeah of a lovely round buttock because that's the allure for the man.

27:21We've all seen Heated Rivalry. Have you? Yes. Oh, of course you have. We've all seen Heated Rivalry. Of course. Yeah. I forgot you've seen it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's all about the bum looking good. Yeah. So she thinks he's gay. Please help. Is this a thing? I don't know if he's gay. And how do I say I don't really like it or would What did you respond? or I would prefer to see his face or his top half or his dick. Thanks girls. Love you. Love Sarah. I don't think it means he's gay Me neither I think he thinks you're gonna like it Because you sent him a pic of his bum Of your bum Yeah But you were at the gym You were like doing it like understated I don't think they've had sex either So there is a weird play No there is It is a weird play He must think he's got a good looking bum I wonder what she responded I know I've got many questions Or Juicy Peach Or Take Them Off For Me No No

28:21yeah it is giving something that mark hayhurst would send to his boyfriend absolutely who we love uh i would just see how it goes i would just note it like maybe he kind of also thinks oh maybe i shouldn't have sent that like maybe it didn't go down that well yeah maybe we ask mark i'll just drop mark a voice note okay hopefully he's not at work and plays this out loud but no I don't think it means he's gay hi Mark we've just had a dilemma in and she actually requested that we asked you for your expertise she's been seeing this guy for three weeks not have not had sex I'm assuming but he's kind he's kind and attractive she sent him a picture of herself in the gym bum focused Belfie he complimented her you know cheeks and then he said would you like a picture of my bum she said oh sure if you'd like and then he sent a picture of his bum in the mirror mirror side profile in his box as she thinks he's gay what do you think all right we'll see and we'll report back later in the episode absolutely

29:35okay the methods of us exposing the bryans are increasing because we've got here i found out my boyfriend was masturbating from his fitness watch. I do think these watches can actually incriminate a lot of people. I know. And who would have thought? My newest thought is an aura ring. Could that incriminate? I guess you would have to log in. Yeah, if you went on, is it linked to an app on the phone? I believe. Yeah, definitely could then. Definitely could incriminate. I'm actually interested in an aura ring. Yeah, they do a pink one now. Yeah, do I want to rock around with a pink ring? I don't.

30:13Yeah. I wish they made them a little bit skinnier. Yeah, a little bit more. Just a little bit more wearable. Yeah. They do look cute. They do. Anyway, not for me. Yeah. So I'll try and keep this short. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years. Okay. He is honestly the best boyfriend. He got me my dream dog. That's nice. My family and friends love him and he's just a great person. The love of my life. Okay. Previously, we would have sex fairly frequent, four to five times a week. Yeah. But the last few months, I have noticed a big decline. I have brought this up in passing before, but never had a discussion about it really.

30:51Just to comment here and there. For context, it was the... Oh, wow. Okay. She's got her dates. Okay, nice. This is great. This is great. She's really been keeping track. For context... Cross-referencing. It was the 11th of January before we had sex in the new year. so it took you 11 days yeah to have and we haven't had sex since the 29th of december okay so it was two weeks we're saying and you you've gone from five times a week all of a sudden it's dropped off yeah anyways on the 9th of jan i love the dates yeah this is amazing i straight up said i need to have sex and alluded that i was ready whenever he was like this is crazy though she said on the 9th and then he took till the 11th wow he just brushed it off and laughed we went to bed that night he said sorry i'm just too tired but you finish watch says otherwise you know i was disappointed but accepted he may have just been tired from a long work week yeah the next day i was using his hotspot and his phone was left open on the whoop app these whoop boys god i had to look i saw a oh my oh my god i didn't know the whoop app did this is he actually having sex no listen i saw a glimpse of the word masturbation shut the fuck you are joking there's no way there's that on whoop so of course i had to look well yeah it would have known oh my god i don't want to do it as a profanity it would have known the the the movement of the wrist of the whoop yes in case you don't know what whoop is it's a watch that tracks your recovery health and you have to answer questionnaires every day so it can gather data about your health.

32:36One of the daily questions is masturbation. Shut up. He had clicked yes. Shut up. Oh my god. No this is crazy. Okay. For the masturbation the day before. They don't put that on the tv ads. He said he was too tired when in reality he just wanked off for a few off a few hours before I went to his house. For a few hours. Where were you Sarah? I was upset but didn't say anything and was just off with him for the day so he's been wanking daily then that night i asked him why don't you want to have sex with me yeah nice i feel like we don't have sex as often as we used to you know i like yeah i like that you're being direct sarah because otherwise then you're just gonna be wallowing yeah i'm glad that you're like being really upfront and we'll be overthinking and wallowing and he said that basically he wasn't thinking about not having sex and that it hadn't crossed his mind we're not We weren't.

33:28I asked him, how do you not think about it? Anyways, he said he was sorry and that it's nothing to do with me and that he hadn't really thought about it. We left it like that. We didn't have sex that night because it was a bit awkward after that combo and neither of us were in the mood. So then it happened on the 11th of Jan. The day after. A few days later, we were talking about, so you've still not said your discoveries. A few days later, we were talking about what we were going to have for dinner. and then I said and then some sex for dessert. Yeah, Sarah, I like it. You're being direct. This is good.

34:03You're really trying to get to the bottom of it. I appreciate that. He said, definitely. Long story short, we didn't have sex. Definitely. Of course, then I was thinking, did he just masturbate instead? Yeah, like did that just turn him on and he just snuck off? What? Clocking it on his whoop. Something is going on, obviously. He's trying to get his score up on his whoop. Yeah. He's like, so if he scores, trying to get his heart rate but then surely he burned more just having sex he's lazy yeah but surely he wants his fitness to be skyrocketed his recovery right yeah his sleep his sleep i wanted to check his whoop app so badly but didn't get a chance the next morning i got a bit upset and he reassured me and said i'm sorry we didn't have sex last night i was just too tired but you don't say definitely to desert but your whoop says you're fully recovered you've had six hours of rent so what's going on there yeah I just made out that it wasn't because of that because I didn't want to be the girl begging for it but he knew it was he gave me a hug and left for work well he's being weird and it's like you know you can't suddenly switch up your behavior like what I'm used to and then you are lying and then just say oh I'm tired I'm tired like that we're gonna go insane actually because you're lying I need your opinions what do you think is going on here I don't know if we are just too comfortable with each other lately and he's not thinking about sex or is he just getting himself off because it's less effort?

35:25Right. It's honestly affecting my confidence because why would he want to masturbate instead of having sex with me? Yeah. I need to check his Whoop app to see if he wanked that evening. He has made an effort to have sex with me this week, to be fair, but I just don't know. It feels a bit weird. Picks attached. Oh my God, wait, this is the dog. Who's the dog? The most beautiful dog ever. Oh, big dog. This is Brian. This is Mr. Wanky Whoop. Mr. Wanky Whoop. Mr. Wookwamp Wait Wookwamp What was I expecting That image Hashtag Wookwamp Sarah looks absolutely beautiful It's a bit blurry But I can tell Sarah Brunette bombshell Brunette bombshell Right Right You need to get on that Wookwamp Babe And you need to get To the bottom of this Wanking mystery Yeah and you need to see If he wanked that night Because then if he did It's like okay This something's actually up because if he did then I think that also exerts energy like if you're tired surely that is also exerting a lot of energy yeah right yeah and if you know you're horny you've got I've got I'm right here I'm your girlfriend I've literally said yeah what's for dessert like me sex like I'm literally laying it out for you like literally eating this up you loser like have you seen me you know he should be obsessed with you and be absolutely eating up that line you're gonna have amazing all the girls out there oh i'm tired i'm tired that's a lie that's girls why don't you just call him out i think check the whoop again of that other night when he said he was tired yeah and then i would just call him out and then what's he gonna say i just like i saw that you wanked yeah on your fucking whoop on your shitty fucking whoop yeah lose a fucking whoop fucking wearer wanking wearer looks fucking yeah looks weird as well on your weird whoop yeah i I would call him out and see what he says.

37:18Yeah, just say like, I saw you ranked. Because you are very direct, Sarah. You are direct. And my instinct is that it's just a laziness thing. Yeah. I think you've been together for a few years. He's got very lazy. It's an effort thing as well. He can't be bothered. He doesn't want to make the effort. I think that's what this is. He thinks he doesn't need to pleasure you. He thinks you haven't got needs. Yeah. You know, obviously he's got needs and he's sorting himself out. Yeah, he's getting his whoop goals up there. Tracking it. You'd rather track it on his whoop. Yeah. Or whatever. But you can still wear the whoop when you have sex.

37:47is it? I think if anything it would help his goals. Yeah. You know, exert more energy. You know? Yeah. I don't know. I would call him out. I think if you see it on the whoop again and just in general, I think I would call it out. Or just say in general, does that whoop track your masturbating? Let's see if he lies. Or like, does that whoop, what a stupid name by the way, does that whoop track your track when we have sex? What about if he were to wank? Let's see if he lies. Because if he gets a bit shifted, he might be like, oh, I don't know. I've never thought about it. Yeah, I don't even wank.

38:18I was like, to the end. I don't know what that is. And it's like, right, something is fucking going on. Because you just fucking lied to me. Well, I actually saw the other day that you'd wanked on the 17th of January. Yeah. You know, you've got your date, Sarah. Call it out. Call it out. You've got your receipts. You definitely wanked at yours before you came over to mine. And then told me you were tired. When really, you just wanked. Because, and I think you should let him know that on a more serious level, it leaves you feeling like really neglected. Yeah. Well, just don't lie to me. Just like unsexy and like undesired.

38:50Yeah. Like you would rather do that yourself than like be intimate with me. And it's a big part of our relationship. And you need to say - Like why the nosedive? What's going on? Yeah, like you've took a complete 180. Not 360. We need to get back to the 360, back to usual, Brian. Yeah. He's done a 180. So maybe we could put the whoop to the side for a minute. Maybe take the whoop off for a little bit. It's causing us a lot of issues. I think we're emotionally attached to our whoop. I think we should remove it for a bit. remove it at the weekends you know yeah like it's not serious and we don't need to be you know trekking through the woods 20 20 000 steps you know on the weekend exerting all this you know whatever i don't know good luck zara but yeah call him out and say look don't lie to me and say you're just tired like if there's something going on like you need to tell me i'm your girlfriend thank you thank you most women have been there something feels off you don't feel like yourself yet your doctor says everything looks fine.

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40:49Oh, Mark sent us two voice notes. Yes! Just in time! Blue be calm, calm, calm. Here we go. This is Mark's thoughts on whether the bum pick means he is a gay man. I think the only way I'm going to be able to tell is... Oh, sorry. He's in the car. I think he's saying he needs to see the image to see if it's gay skewing. But let's see. Sorry, I put it back down to one speed. I think the only way I'm going to be able to tell is if you send me the picture. I don't really know because he asked first and she said yes. It's not like he just unsolicited send an arse pic. Maybe he thought, like, oh, I'll send a bum pic because that's what she's done and then that'll progress onto other types of pictures.

41:38But I wouldn't think somebody was... It's not the straightest thing, is it? But like, I wouldn't be worried. Okay, okay. So honestly, we need to get Mark on here. Yeah, no, we're going to get Mark. I fear he needs a full-time role. Yeah, we're going to get the Mark telephone or something. I think, yes, I think he was expecting Sarah to say, take them off, show me the front, turn around. I'd rather you turn around. Yeah. Because it was giving suggestive. Yeah. Maybe it was like 8pm. Because it's on a set. It turned you off big time. Yeah. But he was maybe hoping that it was going to progress. He thought you were going to say, show me more.

42:11Yeah. And that's exactly that. Show me more. Mark said it's not the straightest thing in the world, but it's not fully gay. So. That's great. Thank God for Mark. Okay. We have an issue here where I think our Sarah's not enjoying the sex. Okay. She said, he's so bad, it hurts. Physical pain now. Physical pain. Yeah. That's not good if you're in physical pain. Hi, girls. Oh, it's only a short one. Okay. Maybe he's just so bad at flirting and she's like, it hurts. It's painful. Oh, maybe. Maybe. It might not be physical penetration. Penine pain. My girl's been watching the pod for years now. Me and my bride have been together for five plus years.

42:50We've had a lot of sex, as you can imagine. But I got into the terrible habit of faking it too early on. So now he thinks he's some sex god. He thinks he's a wizard. That's the problem when you do that. He's not. Yeah, okay. He can sometimes make me orgasm using his fingers. But most of the time - Thank you for the description. Yeah, no, this is great visual. It's great. But most of the time he rubs far too hard that it hurts. Ooh. Yeah, because - It's sensitive. He's obviously thinking, the harder I go, the quicker she's gonna - She loves it. This is her favorite bit. If I put more pressure on there.

43:30Yeah. Sir. Relax. Relax. and when I try to move his hand, he thinks it's because I'm enjoying it too much. Oh, no. And then he just goes harder with the rubbing. Oh, no. I feel awkward now telling him it hurts. Yeah, because you've been doing this for five years. You've just been grinning and bearing it. Poor Sarah. Poor thing. As I fear he would go in a mood with me. Well, that's not good. Oh, that's not your problem. I don't like that. But never telling him before. Oh, okay. he has but you could just make out oh it's extra sensitive today yeah I've seemed to develop some sort of extra sensitivity yeah can't quite take I don't know where this has come from can't quite take the pressure as much as they used to just lighten it up he's got to think oh yeah your body's developing and it's changing as I'm aging I'm going to adapt as we're aging and adapting sexually we're all adapting my frontal lobe's come in it's really changed things you could just say you know the clitoral does you know change do you actually know what that is should I just point out here's a diagram I made earlier yeah let's just go back to basics ooh this is an interesting this is a bit of an alarming line he has also never made me feel good during actual sex is this normal no do girls even get enjoyment from actual sex oh Sarah Sarah it should be Sarah Sarah it should be so much fun and a lovely time five years she's been going through this what do I do pick a text break up with my boyfriend I think so I think you're not sexually or is he just not caring about her at all he's thinking let me just put my fingers down there real quick yeah she loves that you know bang bang bang bang oh brilliant got an orgasm and he's thinking fucking hell I'm so good at this anyway do you want to see our what should we call him the finger man

45:24no he's cute he's cute he's got a big old beard on himself let's look into the eyes he's wearing navy your favorite color yeah yeah yeah i mean he looks friendly yeah but i don't like the fact that you've said he's gonna get moody if you tell me that and i don't like the fact that you've just said he's never made me feel good so that means no words of affirmation no like asking you questions how is that for you my love yeah you enjoying this yeah good time yeah are you okay yeah just checking in it sounds like it's all for him yes and what feels good for him for five years i know this is our sarah bombshell oh like actually oh sarah yeah she looks like a brats doll yeah insane it's giving brats features wow you look beautiful sarah it's not normal i wouldn't say it's not normal so you're saying that you've not enjoyed your sex with your boyfriend for five over five years how old is she you're scared to no and like it's not good like in the bedroom like you should be comfortable with your boyfriend to express you know something you like what you don't like something that doesn't feel so good something that like you should be able to speak freely and not be worried that he's going to get in a mood with you no like he should be appreciated oh thank you for letting me know i'll make sure that because surely he wants you both to be having a great time like you want you both to be having a great time maybe he doesn't and unfortunately if we've been faking the orgasm for five plus years he thinks he is he thinks he's ticking the boxes he thinks he is the god of sex yeah he thinks he knows the law of the land i think it's time for some home truths yeah but and i also think it's time for you to get yourself a vibrator yeah bring it in and have a nice time because i think do you think introduce that i don't even know if you've ever really experienced like Like, do you think we should offer that to Brian?

47:23Yeah, maybe. I would start with a conversation first because I think you, yeah, you've been with this guy for five years. What, a sit down sofa to sofa conversation or should we do it in the moment? Or in the next moment? Like this might be her first sexual partner. Yeah. I feel like it might be because I think if you've had, if you've enjoyed sex before, then with this guy, you would know and you would almost have the confidence to be like, no I don't like that do this a bit more you know you wouldn't have felt the need to like fake it for five years if you know what I mean I kind of feel like maybe this is your first this is like all you know that's the impression that I get this is all you know yeah you're right actually so because you're asking like can sex be enjoyable for women it's like you've never enjoyed it so I think this is your first sexual partner yeah so I think you should get a vibrator have a nice time and it might open your eyes to be like wow okay and then I do think you need to speak to your boyfriend big time like this is not you should i think you normalize this and i think you think that this is what it's like in every relationship that like sex is for men i think you've almost been brainwashed yeah and it's and it's not at all no and i think you've kind of you need to like discover yeah yourself yourself and i think if you are fearful that you're going to tell the truth to your boyfriend and he's going to get moody no then this is that's not a person that you want to be having sexual experiences no you want to feel safe you want to feel secure and beautiful and like you can express how you feel what you want and i don't like that he's going to get in a mood no because you shouldn't be walking on eggshells you should be able to speak freely with your partner i think you should chat to your mates as well and be like what's your boyfriend like not not you know show me just they're like yeah yeah show me no but just about their sex lives and their stories and i would share because i'm not sure this is the guy for you because this doesn't sound like you're thriving no and it's been five years unless we say look let's try this this this that doesn't feel so good to me these days yeah you try this you know and then hopefully he's open to the change and the adaptations of his um technique yes and then hopefully then we can have a better time yeah otherwise if he's like oh no well you You know, this is how I want to do it.

49:44Let's start there, I think. Let's start with a little bit of honesty. Yeah. Let's start with maybe introducing a vibrator. Yeah. And see where that gets you. Yeah. And see how open and receptive he is to, yeah, a few tweaks. And if not, let's come loose. A success story from... A success story. Thank God. To finish us off this week, guys, we have an update on a vibrator dilemma. Brilliant. So I think to refresh our memories. yeah absolutely please we weren't a girl wanting to introduce a vibrator but the boyfriend wasn't happy about it is that right why have an update that is ringing a bell for me i think he thought he thought like oh it was he was offended he was offended yeah he was offended that his skills take off your whoop and couldn't at the end of the day it's battery operated it's way more powerful than you are sir so it's got way more power yeah way more horsepower yeah in this bad boy yeah Hey girls, I thought I'd give you an update on this situation.

50:42I took your advice and spoke to my partner about it. He took it well. Good. And we had a constructive conversation about how neither of us initiated the use of the toy during sex. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He took it well. And we had a constructive conversation about it. However, neither of us initiated the use of the toy during sex. Okay. So it was a bit awkward. sleeping in a bedside drawer like yeah yeah yeah no are you gonna reach for it well no am i gonna reach for it yeah well no right okay until he did good good eventually it was so good we both really enjoyed it and we frequently use it oh god this is like for our other girl you know who's five years in yeah you can yeah exactly there is no change and adapt i have managed to finish and I feel it has brought us closer.

51:35Since then, he proposed on holiday and we're getting married in June. Look what the vibrator can do. We've also just found out we're pregnant. Hot twist. Wow, look what the vibrator did. The power of the vibrator. Thank you again for the pod. I look forward to it every week. I'm sure I'll be listening to it all throughout my maternity leave. Lots of love. We have a girl's bathroom baby. We have a girl's bathroom baby. We have an X-rated baby. It's a tiny pic, but this is them on their holiday. Oh God. I bet the vibrator made it's all a day hey oh absolutely put that in the suitcase yeah and luggage let's go yeah look at that it really awakened him didn't he said i want to marry this woman wow i've never had a lady introduce a vibrator to me i must marry her fabulous wow we have baby on the way that's our second baby because we've got the halloween baby yeah we've got baby albert never forget baby albie we love you albie shout out albie long live and prosper absolutely prince albert prince albert be at peace and we've got the vibrator baby now wow that's amazing Blueberry what's wrong Why you cry Where's that from Why you cry Gorgeous Wow so we've been through all the motions today We have but I'm glad we ended on a high Should we also find our star of the week Threesomes, whoops, vibrators Children, babies being born Wow Okay we have another girl's bathroom baby Our star of the week this week I am currently 25 weeks pregnant And Sam, shout out Sam, has been incredible.

53:05Supporting me through every changing and very demanding food needs. Taking care of everything that needs doing whilst I squeeze in a nap. And never once making me feel like a burden. We also moved house three weeks ago and he has genuinely done everything. I haven't lifted a finger. Cooking, cleaning, food shopping, sorting bills, changing our address. And he still asks me daily if there's anything more he can do to support me. Nice. I'm 32 now. And as a teenager and young adult, I always wondered if I'd ever meet a great guy. I was always the single one. I honestly wish I could go back and tell my younger self that he would be worth the wait.

53:38So to any girl still navigating single life, the one is out there. And trust me, they are worth it. I just need him to know how much I appreciate him and how truly incredible he is. I'm really hoping you read this out so he can hear it. Lots of love, Millie. Millie and Sam. Oh my God. Our wedding, the day we found out we were pregnant and at our one year and at our wedding venue for our one year anniversary. This is Millie and Sam. Oh my God, Millie, you look beautiful. Wow, our third girls bathroom baby for Millie and Sam. Hope for us all ladies, single ladies. Sam, thank you so much for being a great Brian this week.

54:15Woo! Shout out Samuel. Shout out Samuels of the world. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. If you have a dilemma, please email it to hello at the girls bathroom dot com. please follow us on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube thank you, we love you guys, have a good week bye

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