683: Build Wealth TODAY With the “Beyonce of Personal Finance”

25:13And so on a money date, and it could be anywhere. A lot of times I'll do it with like pizza just to give myself like, okay, we're about to look at the numbers, girl. And so you could do it in your bedroom, you could do it in a coffee shop, wherever you feel comfortable, but you want to make sure you're prepared to be financially vulnerable with yourself, right? And that's who you always need to be vulnerable with first before you're vulnerable with family members, partners, things like that. You need to know what your numbers look like. You need to know how they make you feel. You need to know what that plan is that you have for your next steps.

25:42And so what you want to do is you want to grab all your debts, all your savings accounts, checking accounts, bills, everything kind of just have it in front of you. I always do think these big grand gestures, like it's paper everywhere. It's probably digital. It's probably on your iPad, wherever it is. You want to have all that documentation and you want to start off with your liabilities first. That's the not as fun part. So anything you owe, student loans, personal loans, car loans, mortgage, all of that adds up on one side. And then you're going to add up all your assets. The first money date I went on, I was 25.

26:14I had no assets. I had an old car. I was just like, okay, I don't really know how this adds anything of value to my assets. I didn't have a saving account. I had a check account with less than a thousand bucks. And so it was a really ugly picture for me to see of my finances. And I calculated my net worth for the first time and it was negative. And it was just filled with tears. And I felt like I failed. I felt like I had no idea what I was going to do, how I was going to get myself out of this, how I was going to tell this to my parents. I would be so ashamed, so embarrassed. But what it did outside of the, you know, uncomfortable feelings, it helped me understand, okay, well, this is my starting point, but it's not my end point.

26:57I don't have to end here, you know? And so now when I talk about, I have almost a half a million dollar net worth and I'm just like, before I had negative 50 ,000, right? And so you don't have to be just ashamed and overwhelmed because these are the numbers. It's your starting point. It's where you're launching from and it doesn't have to be where you stay. And so that money date, I do monthly now. And that's just to go over and see, okay, well, is this budget, I now use zero-based budget. Like, okay, well, is this budget working for my lifestyle? Am I setting aside enough money into my savings?

27:27Am I setting enough money into my investment accounts? It also lets me see if I'm overspending in areas or if I'm underspending in areas consistently, then I could change around the numbers. My food budget sometimes get a little crazy. And so going on these monthly dates helps me realize, okay, well, maybe we can cut back here. Maybe we can add in a little bit here. It also will fuel your money dates will fuel your side hustle, right? If you're like, okay, I need to make extra money because my budget's really tight. You're going to say, okay, well, I need to make an extra$500 a month to, you know, feel a little more freedom in my money.

27:59So money dates will help with so many things. And then when, if you do have significant other money dates are really great to go on together. And once you've got them, you know, the flow on yourself, because then you'll see, okay, well, we're spending this amount of money towards entertainment. We're spending this. It's just really more comfortable conversations I find. So money dates, I'm a big supporter of them, even though they might be uncomfortable. Quick recommendation for you. If you love Gold Digger, check out My First Million, hosted by Sam Parr and Sean Puri. Brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, My First Million features guests like Alex Ramosi, Sophia Amoruso, and Rob Dyrdek.

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29:11Can you believe that we're already wrapping up 2025? This year was packed with travel and so many new memories. One of my favorite moments was our team retreat in Arizona with the incredible women who helped me keep this business running. I also recently took the kids to Nashville during fall break and somewhere in between I squeezed in a trip to Puerto Rico with friends. We booked some of our most memorable stays this year on Airbnb. There's something special about finding a place that doesn't just look great in the photos but actually feels welcoming the moment you walk in. That this feels right kind of feeling.

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31:41I would look at my graveyard of unfinished journals and feel like a failure. My intentions, they had been good, but I simply didn't enjoy the experience of journaling. But then something clicked. I created a five minute daily practice and my daily reflection journal was born. Now I want you to experience the life-changing habit too. Grab your daily reflection journal by going to howareyoureallyjournal.com or you can send me a DM on Instagram with the word reflect and I'll send you all the info on how to get your hands on a copy. It's a one page per day journal that gives you enough space to open your mind, respond to the open prompts and reflect on your day.

32:22There is so much magic in a five minute daily check-in. Start your new journaling journey with me and get your daily reflection journal, plus a free journaling masterclass to help you get started on your journaling path. When you do, you can grab this at howareyoureallyjournal.com or hop onto Insta and shoot me a DM with the word reflect. I think you said something so powerful. It's just, it's a starting point. And I think a lot of times we see the destination or we imagine it, or we want to manifest the destination, but you cannot get to where you want to go without being honest about where you're starting.

33:00And I think that a lot of people avoid even opening their accounts or their statements because they don't want to get that honesty about here's where I am. And so I think that that's really powerful. Why do you think people are so afraid of money? Like, why is it so taboo and awkward and uncomfortable? And it brings out some of our deepest insecurities. Why do you think that is? I think that's because money is tied very closely to our emotions and our self-worth. And so it's like, if you're having a really good money month or you have a lot of money, or you just feel like, oh, I'm doing better than whatever the Jones is, you feel good about yourself.

33:36You feel excited. Oh, I can buy this. I can buy that. And then the flip side, because life is in waves, things happen. If you've overspent this month, you feel ashamed or embarrassed, or if you didn't get your bonus or meet your quote or things like that, you're feeling like you're behind or everyone else is doing better. And we live in a very social media will have as delusional about everything and so like I said at 26 I'm like all my friends are going to Thailand all my friends are how are they traveling I had no idea they're like credit card girl like what we you know we can't really afford this and so affordability and things like that I think there's so many emotions that are tied with having or not having money in the way people who have money are treated or the way people who don't have money are treated I think we just feel like this internal well if I don't talk about it no one will know you know that I don't have this.

34:23Or if I do talk about it, then I'll see like I'm bragging. So I'm like, just talk, just talk about it. Whatever happens, happens. But the more we don't talk about it, the more that it remains taboo and it keeps things like raises talking about salary. It's like we need to know so we can close all these systemic barriers and these gaps and things. And if we don't, it's just going to continue to perpetuate and to grow. So we have to talk about it. Yes. And I think it's so powerful for women, but especially I would love your thoughts on women of color and just some of those divides that really reduce the power of access and knowledge.

35:02Can you talk a little bit about your experience with that and why that makes your work even more meaningful to you? I love this question. Yeah. So I talk about all the time how black women have the highest amount of student loan debt and they're the most awarded with degrees and bachelor's degrees and master's degrees, but they're also having the hardest time landing the six figure jobs, even with the same degrees as their counterparts. And so it's such an interesting conversation when I talk about generational wealth, when I talk about the investing and budgeting and saving, and I say, you know, it's going to look different for everyone because different people have different access to things.

35:38And so we're starting off at different starting points, right? So if I'm starting back here and I'm trying to get to the end goal, my end goal might not be as achievable or it might not be the same. And that's, that's why we need to continue to have these conversations. Because if I'm doing the same job that, you know, my friend Bobby over here is doing, we should be getting paid the same. Or if I'm doing more, I should be getting paid more. And so there was a study recently, and I'm like, this is so fascinating because my mother used to make these little jokes when I was younger. There was this study about how people who have names that sound more ethnic or more, you know, culturally diverse are getting less callbacks to higher paying jobs.

36:16And I'm just like, and then we release these stats where they say, well, you know, African-Americans make the least amount of money. And like, well, these conversations need to be had in tandem. Right. We need to say, well, this could possibly be why instead of the broad narrative of, well, you know, pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Everyone's got the same 24 hours. Money is out there. It's like, yes, money's out there, but it's different, different ways to get to it. So I think it's super important that when we talk about generational wealth and building, you know, financial freedom and how to gain access to these things that we talk about the different accessibility points for people of color and how they have to go a little further or even sometimes even way further in order to reach those same levels that are just easier for other people to access.

37:00Absolutely. I think that's a really powerful point to be made. And I also just love the lens of like, this isn't going to be a one size fits all experience. I think that acknowledgement is super powerful. And it also enables people to take a good hard look at their own circumstance and access and how that can impact their own success. I listened to a podcast, How I Build This. And at the end of every episode, he asks, how much of it was luck and how much of it was skill? And even just asking that question really opens people up to analyze, well, what was the ratio there? And I think that even in situations and the discussion around privilege and access, I think that's a really powerful thing to be introspective about, especially when you're teaching about a topic that, you know, impacts every single human being.

37:48Yes. That's why I'm always saying financial literacy is a great game changer and it balances a lot of things, but it's not the only step in order to build generational wealth and gain financial freedom. It's one piece that plays, you know, the puzzle is much bigger and different for everyone, but that's just one piece. So I love financial literacy. I love talking about budgeting and saving, but I'm always mindful to know like, okay, hey, this budget might not work for someone who has a family. This budget might not work for someone who comes from this socioeconomic background. So I have to offer alternatives or I have to at least address that, right?

38:21And I address my own privilege whenever I talk about paying off student loans and how I was able to side hustle and do things like that. I am very, very adamant about the fact that I also was able to live at home, right? That is a privilege that not everyone is going to have. And so I did not have that byline in my budget. And so to say like, yeah, you could just side hustle and do all of that. And it's like, girl, you didn't have to pay rent, right? So these are the things why it's so important to not only acknowledge your own privileges in certain financial circumstances, but to point out how it changes the trajectory for the outcome.

38:53And that is something I'm very passionate about and ad about sharing in all financial journeys. I love that. I'm curious. So I was actually talking to my team about habits and we were kind of made a joke about the book Atomic Habits because we're like, oh, we're just habit stacking and using all these terms that we probably wouldn't have used previously. Do you have any good money habits that we can develop specifically for a more entrepreneurial audience or someone that maybe has that side hustle that can help us transform our finances or at least get more comfortable with assigning, here's what this is for, or here's what I'm working so hard towards?

39:32automation I like to say it's by my propensity for laziness but automation not only from a finance side but also from an entrepreneurial side when you can get things automated and get more of your time back you have more opportunities to do things right and so that we all have the same 24 hours it becomes a lot more true when you have things a lot more automated and so from a financial perspective, my saving and my investing happens before my bills are paid. So I'm like, I never even see that money. Yes. And I don't feel it like nothing. I'm like, Oh, this came out of my budget. No, I'm like, this is going automatically into saving.

40:10This is automatically going into investing. These bills are automatically going to be paid. So whatever money I see, and I'm like, okay, I'm going to check my account on the seventh or the eighth, whatever the date is, all those deposits come in. I'm like, okay, this is the accurate number. And then I know what I have to spend on, you know, my fun self, like self travel, things like that. But if I did not have those things automated and I had to actively go in, I'm like, okay, I'm going to transfer this. I would come up with excuses or I would forget, which would cause confusion. So you want to automate as much of your finances as you can.

40:41And now in this digital age with AI and things like that, do it. Just make it so much easier on yourself. I also suggest having a savings that's not in your checking bank, right? It makes it a little harder for you to get that money out. So it makes it a little less likely for you to go and take that money. As far as the entrepreneurial side, automate anything that could be for emails. If you can get an assistant, I'm like, get your time back. Time is probably the most valuable thing that you have. Time gives you more access to earn more money. So automate, automate, automate everything. I know people are like, well, I don't want to automate my bills.

41:18Trust me. I have forgotten to pay things early on where I'm like, I have such a good memory. No, you know, use that good memory for other things in life. Look, I've become kind of a systems nerd and anything that gives me more space in my day, I'm all in. And a reliable connection is a huge part of that because when the internet lags or cuts out, everything pauses and suddenly the simplest tasks take forever. I learned really early on that dependable internet, it's not a luxury. It is a must. Whether you're a content creator like me, a restaurant owner, or running a busy dry cleaning business, you need that steady connection to support your team and your clients.

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44:42Oh, I think that's so powerful. It was interesting. I was just talking to my team because we were working on an episode of like different strategies to save you time. And I kept coming back to this crux of like, so many women don't know the value of their time, right? So the thought of, you know, spending five extra dollars to get Instacart delivered feels like an expense when in reality, they don't recognize the value of their time. Can you talk a little bit about that? Like, how would we know what, say, an hourly rate is? Or how could we at least legitimize the expense on some of those things that will buy us back our most precious non-renewable resource, our time?

45:22Yes, I know. And it's so interesting because, and I talk about this when I talk about the financial literacy that's often pushed towards women on how to make a$5 meal or how to penny pinch or how to do this. And it's never, ever, ever focused on how to buy back your time. And when I talk about this, I was speaking with one of my friends who is also in the entrepreneur space. And she was saying how she felt bad that she hired someone to clean her home and they cleaned her home in three hours. And then I'm like, okay, well, what did you do with those three hours? And she talks about how she was able to update her media kit and how she was able to pitch to brands and how she's able to sign contracts.

46:00And I'm like that three hours, you probably have set yourself up to make up way more money than if you had spent those three hours cleaning. And you know, the amount that you paid your cleaner, you're going to get way more than that. So you bought yourself not only your time, but way more money. And so I think about that whenever I'm like, Oh, this is only going to take 30 minutes. And I'm just like, yes, but can I quickly outsource this in a way that I will get double, triple the revenue. And so I always think about my time like that when it comes to business, not with like family, like spend time.

46:30Yes. But I think about these things where I'm just like, I feel guilty if I order Instacart or I feel guilty if I do this, I feel guilty. But is that because I truly feel guilty or that is the financial literacy that's been pushed at me and other women that I have to make time to clean the house or I have to make time to cook dinner? And there's nothing wrong with making time for that. But I have to also figure out, well, how much money am I losing or how much time am I losing? That would lead me into that revenue that I'm looking to make this month. And so it's such an interesting conversation because I don't think if you're not an entrepreneur, it might be a little harder to understand and grasp.

47:09But all my people who are not entrepreneurs listening, trust me, sometimes it's worth it to just get the time back to do something else, even if it's not to make money, even if it's like, well, if I, you know, hire this person to do this, I can take a yoga class or I can go to Pilates. I can do self-care for myself for an hour. That is also worth the exchange. So it's definitely something, and I would say even to do it during a money date to sit down and add in, okay, if I do Instacart twice this month, or if I order, you know, this, or if I have someone to come clean the house, I'm going to put this as an investment.

47:41And this is what I'm going to get in return. I think it's very, very valuable and powerful to do so, so that you can check in with yourself and see how you want to spend your time. Absolutely. I always think about the line of like, yes, you can do it, but should you do it? And are you the one to do it? Like even in the house cleaning example, like there are things I could do, but one, I don't enjoy it. And two, I never get around to it. And so it's like, if I can pay someone and shift the money to them where they actually enjoy what they're doing, that's what their gift is. And then in the time that I'm saved, I can generate more money.

48:17It's just this really interesting trade-off, but I agree. I think so much of societal conditioning, especially for women is focused more on saving instead of spending when it comes to time. And so I think that's really powerful. So you recently wrote an amazing book. Thank you. This is Why I'm Broke. It's Money Lessons on Financial Literacy, Passive Income, and Generational Wealth. Talk to me a little bit about your book and why a listener should go out and grab it. Yes. So it is my baby. I, I did not find a personal finance book written by a woman written by anyone that looked like me, sound like me, you know, approached money in a way that felt comfortable and exciting to me until 2017, 2018.

49:03And it was the broke millennial. And I was just like, Oh, this is written by a woman like, Oh, she's not telling me to just like save. And so So I really enjoyed that aspect of that book. And so I wanted to create a book very similar where someone who is just learning about money or experiencing money or wants to figure out how to grow their money will see someone that's not like a Wall Street button up suit and just things like that and saying penny pinch. I wanted them to say, oh, this girl looks like me and has a similar background and perspective and talks about things in a way that I can understand.

49:37And so I'm all about leveling the playing field. I would really love, you know, in the near future of money where it's accessible conversation, where it's not like this is the fancy thing I'm talking about and this is what it means. No, it's just like this is what it is and this is how you approach it and this is how you interact and this is how you grow to a million dollars and not make it seem like something that if I didn't go and get a finance degree, I'll never be able to do it. And so I think one of the biggest things was making sure that my parents can understand because they are, like I said, from Haiti and they came over when they were pretty young.

50:11And so even them learning about money and learning about investing, one, it shows like it's never too late. My parents are in their 60s and that they can understand and access this book and just people from all generations and all cultures can access and find something they can connect with and just also laugh, right? Money sometimes is so stuffy. Just get a good laugh. I talk about how I overdrafted for coach seekers. I don't even know where they are now. I'm just like, they clearly weren't that important to me. And talk about one of the real reasons why I wanted to move out of my house is because I didn't want to, you know, just have to keep hiding my adult activities from my parents.

50:48And so I think when you can have a good laugh and learn and access and things like that, that makes it a real true experience. And that's what I want this book to be for people. Where can everybody find out more about you, what you do and where can they get their hands on your book? Yes. So I am Millennial in Debt on all social platforms. You can get the book at so thisiswhyimbroke.com or anywhere they sell books and shout me out, tag me and I will post. I'm really excited to see everyone's like interaction with the book. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. This was an incredible, incredible conversation.

51:24You asked the best questions, by the way. No, thank you. I'm going to be honest. I love talking about money. I feel like access is granted doors are opened and awareness is expansive when we talk about money specifically as women. But I love how Melissa is leading the charge for women of color as well. This episode was so insightful. It gave so many action items that can allow us to really understand topics that feel so nuanced and complex, like generational wealth and savings and investing. I absolutely love today's episode. I hope you took notes. And as always, take this information and turn it into real action in your life.

52:08Don't forget to grab a copy of Melissa's book. So this is why I'm broke. Grab it wherever books are sold. And of course, until next time, Gold Digger, keep on digging your biggest goals. I'm over here giving you a virtual high five because you just finished another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. Did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, head over to golddiggerpodcast.com for show notes and all the discount codes from today's sponsors. And if you're looking for a new crew of movers and shakers like you to bounce ideas and ask questions, be sure to join my exclusive community for Gold Diggers on Facebook.

52:44The link's waiting for you at golddiggerpodcast.com. Thank you.