Content Creator: Haley Baylee – Internet Culture, Influence, Purpose & Self-Belief

24:07The Gstaad Guy:I think it's okay. It's okay. Well, you haven't seen my DM slides. I purposely make them 10 times more cringy just so like they know I know. Can you give us an example? There was like this really beautiful, he was age appropriate, I think he was like 35, man, that I just like ran into on Instagram. And I was like, looked at his profile. His profile said human in like the, what's it called? Bio? Yeah, in the bio. See, you know what's up. It said human, period. And so I. By the way, they're going to find him. They definitely will. So I wrote, are you a lizard? Was my first question. And then I waited a little bit.

24:46Did you put a full spell for a question mark? I just did a question mark. Just are you a lizard? And then I waited a little bit just for, you know, so that if he looked at the times, it'd be different. Because I thought that that would be funny. I don't think he thought it was funny. And then I said, oh, whoops, my bad. Just checked your bio. Never mind. And then he saw it immediately and didn't respond.

25:08The Gstaad Guy:But he said scene. It said scene. So he pressed accept. I honestly think that's really good chat. I think it's funny. Thank you. But you know what it sounds like? It also nearly sounded like you're making fun of him. See, that's the problem. But maybe that's where then I know. Don't go up. Or maybe he is a lizard person and he's like really scared that I found him. I didn't think about that one. That might actually be it. He's like, no, my secrets. No, should I delete it out of my bio? That's true. but yeah i'll be if my bio is human and someone oh i'd make fun of you yeah so i i think you were men need to be humbled a little bit like just a little so now that you're creating lots of content you have all these different things going on what excites you most with what you're doing oh everything i just love it i literally love it it's it's so funny because a lot of people use content as like a way to do something else which i respect because it's a great stepping stone like it again a phone gets you into these rooms it's crazy so a lot of people use it as a way to showcase like their editing skills that one day they could be on a movie or their acting skills or um they want to i have a lot of friends that want to produce you know movies and so they produce content as the stepping stone for that or they want to write a book or they want to be a chef or all of these different things i love just making content like i love making short-form content.

26:36I don't know why. I just, I think my ADHD, along with the fact that I'm already a little like, it just works so well. And with each person that I meet, whether it's a content creator or a celebrity, like I've been so lucky to work with like some of my heroes. And it's so fun to take like an A-lister and see like what they went viral for, or like make them do a silly little TikTok trend or just get them into internet culture like that's so fun like when I got to Aura Farm and Hyphen like when will I ever get the chance to ever do that ever like one of the most famous k-pop groups in the world and here I am getting to drop something and pretend to sign it for that like that's so cool so I literally love my job and I love my community I have the dopest group of girls that are so funny they're so quick they're so sarcastic and witty and like it's great

27:27The Gstaad Guy:man I just I love it I really love it I know you're doing a lot of in-person things as well awakening your phone screen you speak a lot of events I do yeah you talk about your craft yeah how's that how's that like it's cool I mean it's I've gotten to see the more corporate side as well of all of this the one thing that I never wanted to do with any of this is like make it feel like an actual job which is weird because like you should treat it like a job you should respect at like a job but I didn't want to like put that pressure of like you have to do this you have to do that you have to meet these deadlines unless of course it's a random piece of content and then you have to meet those deadlines but I wanted it to just stay fun and like stay random and so um because I'm 33 though meta or YouTube Google all of these like big social media platforms will ask you to speak just on things that you've learned and again because I'm 33 usually they'll choose a 33-year-old over somebody that just went viral at 16 because it's probably tough to stick a 16-year-old in front of a bunch of CEOs and tell them to talk about tentpole moments and like all of these advertising lingo terms.

28:32It's been fun for me to be tossed into that.

28:35The Gstaad Guy:It's very cool. Can you tell us about those advertising terms and what you talk about on stages? Tentpole moments. I learned that one. It's like the Super Bowl, Mother's Day, Easter, Halloween. So it's like, what are we going to do You are advertising for these core tentpole moments. That one's one that I learned that I really like to use a lot now. I like to use it on panels, too, because it makes me sound like I knew it. You have the lingo. I'm like, yeah, you know, for the major tentpole moments. Yeah, no, I still don't really know what it means. I think it's like special moments in the year that you would advertise around.

29:06The Gstaad Guy:Fun. And then you also get to, like, meet execs from Google. Like at Cannes Lions, for instance, it's kind of like a giant ad week where digital marketers are coming more and more. you get to be like front facing with like the head of Google North America and you get to talk to him. And like he's, you know, 55 with four kids and a wife and he's been doing this for ages. Yet he doesn't understand how you do what you do and you don't understand how he does what he does. And so that is the most interesting conversation. And so it's fun. I love when like Meta, Google, YouTube put me in those rooms because I get to learn what advertisers are looking for out of me.

29:43when then I do choose to work with like something branded, I kind of get it from their side.

29:48The Gstaad Guy:It's amazing. And you can also share your perspective at them. Yeah. Which is always a great thing. Well, your audience, how old is your audience actually? Anywhere, I'd say like core audience, anywhere from as young as eight, I'd say all the way up to 40, but the average age is probably going to be like 22. Fine. 22 is a tough age. I think I had the most confusing age. because the world hits you and you're like what is happening yeah i'm an adult now but i don't feel like one but i do feel like one yeah exactly do you storytell consciously to a confused 22 year old i mean i'm a confused 33 year old so i think i've just never left that mindset no i think at any age you're confused we're all confused how do you manage that confusion like on days where you wake up and maybe you have creative block and you don't know what to do i talk to my audience okay which is something i didn't used to do as much i used to communicate everything through sketches like for me i was in the family where we like communicated through dark humor like if there was trauma we would laugh about it or joke about it you know like if we talked about somebody's addiction to alcohol it would become like the joke in the family well we were helping them get help you know but like my family is very um we like laugh our way through our trauma and And that's kind of how we heal.

31:09So for me, I used to almost like wrap my trauma in sketches and that's how I'd get over it. So if like somebody broke up with me, I would do a lot of sketches about like when a boy breaks up with you and I would act it out. But I would like feel that way. So I always felt like people knew what I was going through, but they didn't because I never specifically said, hey, I'm going through this and I'm having a tough time. I would just post like this breakup sketch and I would just assume everyone understood that. But a lot of people don't communicate through humor. So I started because I just wanted to start talking to my audience and I feel very connected to them.

31:43I just started posting the harder moments, I think. And sometimes I'll even just take my phone out. And it sounds so weird, but it's like my therapy. When I'm going through something tough, like I went through a breakup recently, I will just take my phone out and talk to my phone.

32:00The Gstaad Guy:On Instagram Live? No, just like on, like I'll just put like TikTok 10 minutes and I'll just go. Oh, fine. Go and I'll just like talk to my phone. Oh, you're recording yourself. Yes. Yeah. And like half the time I never even post it. Sometimes I'll watch it and it'll help me understand how I feel and why. Or like. It's basically journaling. It's basically journaling. But it's like journaling in the way that in the form I speak, which is like short form video. And so I started doing that and it was like really, really nice. I don't know how else to put it. It was just really nice. it was my version of therapy.

32:38And then I started posting those because I was scared at first because I was like, is this cringe? Is this weird? Is, you know, you think a million different things. You also think like my problems are nothing in comparison to the problems of the world. So like, I don't ever want to be that whiny girl who has a cushy life. That's like my problem. You know, I never wanted to be that because when you're on the other side of that and you see it on your feed, you're like, Oh, please, you know, sometimes, but I'm really grateful that I started showing that side of me because more than anything, I got more support from women.

33:10The Gstaad Guy:Yeah. Women just being like, I've been there or like, thanks for posting this. And I'm like, what? Like, thanks for being here. Like, I'm thanks for saying something kind when I'm saying I feel alone. Like, thank you. But it's amazing how, how kind people are when you actually like put yourself out there. This podcast is brought to you by Pubelle, by the starred guy, the sterling silver charm-based jewelry hand-painted with enamel allowing you to express all the things you love and all the things you may question and now back to the start guy podcast did you watch that's a raving growing up i did okay there was an episode i can see yeah there's an episode of that's a raving where raven baxter's mom mrs baxter i forgot her name uh has a hard time with her boss and I think her husband tells her to write a letter to the boss and never send it yep just to get the feelings out and then she sends it and she sends it yes remember the episode yep I do okay fine so I always thought about that for some reason and I started doing that in my in my notes app since I was in high school I just write these letters to myself and to people to get feelings out of me or at least organize my feelings and thoughts and then maybe one in 30 i'd actually do something with it but i like what you were saying about your choice of language is the video camera because raven baxter's mom's handwritten note my notes app and your video they're all just different ways of getting things off your chest basically so it's uh i think it's it's a way less intimidating way for people to actually feel their feelings.

34:56The Gstaad Guy:Because I see a lot of talk online about like journaling, for example. But picking up a book and a pen and writing things down is a very intimidating process to me. And it hurts your wrist. It hurts the wrist. I'm not a hand writer. I'm a typer. Yeah. Or even a voice noter. Yeah, I do love a voice note too. I love a voice note. So it's, I like that you're talking about the process existing in other ways as well. Just like film a video of yourself, get it out there. Just don't accidentally hit post because then that's where the post a story button on TikTok is in a precarious. It's in the same place as Draft.

35:25The Gstaad Guy:It's in the worst. Same place. And when you're like in the middle of crying and recording something, and then you accidentally just graze that. It goes to story. Thank God for their like delete and re-edit button. But not on story though? No. Only on main feed? Nope. They just changed it. It's on story. Yeah, you're welcome. I know that because I did that the other day. And you can switch from story to main field? You can. That's a great thing. Yeah. So I was like, delete, delete, re-edit. Oh, we're good. We're golden. I think my approach to all of this has been to just be as real as possible because I was a girl who like idolized celebrities, which is why you see me on a red carpet.

36:03I am like beaming. That's none of that's fake. Like I'm freaking out. I'm stoked to be there. It was my biggest dream ever to go to the Oscars, the Golden Globes. I applied to be a seat filler in college. Never was picked, of course. They're not going to pick a girl from Minnesota with their people in California doing it. I just never felt like I got to see the real human side of celebrities. Like, I grew up in the Disney Channel era days where, like...

36:26The Gstaad Guy:Were you ever on Disney Channel? I wish. You think my parents would have ever let me? I begged my mom. I see you on Disney Channel. Oh, I begged her. I was like, please look at this one sketchy company is going to choose children and fly them to L.A. And she's like, you're not doing that. I'm like, but why? I tried. Didn't work. So focused on engineering. But, no, that was, like, my biggest dream ever. I like idolize Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus. That's why I freak out when I see them on a red carpet because I'm like, oh, my God, little me would pee herself right now. This is crazy. But I always I just want to be a normal, real person.

37:02Like I just because for some reason, money and power and like a PR firm and all of those things can take away human. I feel like because celebrities are scared that they're not going to say the right thing. So they don't say anything or like they're scared. to be misinterpreted or they're scared to be clipped on a podcast, you know, and that stuff happens all the time. So I get why they're scared. Yeah. But I've always just wanted to approach this as like, I don't care about the business side. I'm a person and I'm going to say what needs to be said or I'm going to say when I feel sad or I'm going to call out something when it's not right or like, I'm just going to be me and I'm not going to run it through like my team first.

37:43I'm just like, I'm just going to post what I feel like I should post. And I'm really grateful that I've done that. Granted, of course, I have made a gazillion mistakes. I've probably posted stupid things. I've probably posted things that like maybe looking back I shouldn't post it, you know. But that's human. And I think that's what I want my page to be is always like no matter where I go, no matter who I'm working with, no matter how much money I've ever had the chance to make, which I've never thought I'd make this much money ever in my life, that I don't change. That who I am does not change.

38:15like it's going to be the same girl with the same opinions and ideas and connection to my audience no matter how big my following gets how big or small my following gets is there

38:28The Gstaad Guy:something you wish you could tell your audience that you maybe don't because of the nature of your your communication style or you always open up naturally I'm pretty open yeah I think I'm pretty open i think my biggest fear i was very open when i first started um but i think i've dialed back because with comedy it's tough because you never want to feel or make somebody feel like you're making fun of them in comedy um as you've seen with like even snl right they've had to walk things back because you miscalculate a lot and sometimes something can come off way more offensive than you've ever meant it or maybe somebody sees a side of a joke that you never even saw And the second you post it, you're like, oh, my gosh, I did not even see it like that.

39:12Holy crap. Delete, delete, delete. I used to be a lot more like post anything, do anything, whatever. And then you very quickly realize the last thing you want to be is anyone who makes anyone feel bad. You just don't. So I think that that's something that I've had to navigate is like there are so many ways to make somebody feel bad online without meaning to at all. And the same goes in reverse. Like there are so many things that make you feel bad online when, you know, you see people doing stuff. But I never want to be somebody that you know is going to bring people down. So like I've tried really, really hard in my content to lift people up versus bringing them down.

39:52And I think I've done a better job of that like as I continue forward because my girls are like everything to me. and I never want anyone to come onto my page and not feel like they're accepted there or like that that isn't their community.

40:08The Gstaad Guy:I always get that energy from your content. Oh, thank you. Just uplifting, smiley, good vibes. I appreciate that. That's great stuff. Sick. So in that early content that I discovered of you, the billionaire girlfriend. Yeah, billionaire boyfriend. Billionaire boyfriend, sorry. Billionaire boyfriend. Now that I know you, I it's just so far from any situation you'd put yourself in and so far from yeah with all due respect to women who are in those positions but so far from what you'd want to be aligned with yeah and I'd love for the audience to understand what it is that you are aligned with and why that's so different to your view of success as a woman.

40:53Yeah. What's so funny is that's, I think, why I had to almost reinvent myself was the billionaire boyfriend days because a lot of people don't know you when you post yourself on the internet. I just assumed like, oh, they'll get me. They know who I am. No, of course not. I'm just a stranger to people. And I'm a stranger posting in a nice apartment with fancy bags in a little dress, eating an almond. Like a lot of people thought that was me. They fully thought I was my character. And I had to, I'd say for like a year, kind of unravel that and show people I'm not this character. I grew up in rural Minnesota.

41:28Like I grew up like digging for worms and fishing and like doing like Minnesota stuff. My parents were middle class, like didn't have a lot of money, didn't have no money. I remember going to the fancy school in high school and seeing for the first time like big houses. because I went to like a church school, kind of like middle school, elementary school, very small, 30 kids in a grade. And then I begged my parents because I was teased so intensely at the church school to go to the public school because it was huge. It was like 900 kids in the grade. Nobody would know who I am.

42:01The Gstaad Guy:I was like, this is great. Lost in the sauce. Yes. The only thing is, is when you go to the church school, like you know all the kids. At the big school, it's everybody. It's the kids from the farm towns. It's the kids from the city. It's the kids from Lake Minnetonka, which is like the very rich area. And so that was the first time I ever saw anything like my billionaire boyfriend type of lifestyle, like kids with Range Rovers. And like, you know, I didn't I didn't have a car. My sister bought a car and I eventually bought it from her. The big houses with like the huge pillars in the front. I was like, where am I?

42:32This is the craziest thing ever. And then so I was never in the lifestyle of like buying fancy bags or jewelry or wearing designer. That just like wasn't in my life at all. until later and even then, my ex would buy me a nice bag and I'd be like, what is this? It smells like nice leather, but I knew nothing about it. A coach bag was the fanciest bag I could ever imagine ever in my life when I was 19.

43:00The Gstaad Guy:They're very in right. And they're very beautiful. Those were the fanciest. And then I moved to New York and I'm like, what is an Hermes? How much is an Hermes? So when my billionaire boyfriend became a thing, I always thought people would just get my background of course they don't now would they it's crazy that I even ever assumed that like so miscalculated and so I would use what's so funny about the billionaire boyfriend because I don't own designer is I would use like Maya's designer stuff in my billionaire boyfriend so people would talk about like well Haley you have all these videos of you with all these bags these fancy bags and diamonds now those are my friends and I'd be like, hey, I really need to like film this video where he gives me designer bags.

43:44Like, what do you think would be the best designer bags? And my friends that know those things would help me. But I, it's so funny because so many people then just viewed me as the girl who would be married to a billionaire who would be like living off of his life and his money and all of those things. And there's, again, I don't want to villainize any part of that. If you are a woman who wants to do nothing and just like have bags and fancy stuff. And if your man loves you and bravo like good good on you now if he's treating you the way William was treating me maybe not good on you but um that's something that like I I wish I would have started out with my audience showing them who I am before I kind of took on that character because it's very easy to see a woman around my age dressing the part looking the part playing literally playing the part it's hard to assume they aren't that part um so that's been something that i've had to like almost unravel like all of that i've had to show people who i am because it's not any part of the way i was on

44:51The Gstaad Guy:billionaire boyfriend yeah yeah i know that we've spoken about this before and spoken about the idea of creating a path for yourself no matter how successful a partner is and never being this like in quotes trophy wife yeah and always being a partner to someone but having your own path and your own merit and things you want to strive towards for yourself yeah no matter what can you share with the audience why that's so important to you and what fuels that importance I think it's because I saw when I was a model so many of my girlfriends get into situations where their power was taken from them.

45:30And sometimes it's, it ended up being a great thing. Like they were beautiful family, very supportive husband. Like my sister is a stay-at-home mom. So I never, ever, ever want to villainize like the idea of a stay-at-home mom. I think stay-at-home moms work harder than anyone on the planet. My sister has no free time. Her job is 24 seven, you know, and her husband is an attorney. She's also an attorney, but she helps him with his job. And then on top of that is mom to two, 24-7. Like that's all she does in addition to helping him. And it's like the greatest thing I've ever seen. But my brain isn't programmed that way.

46:07What do you mean by power taken from them?

46:10The Gstaad Guy:What do you mean by power in the modeling world? I think in the modeling world, you're almost taught that your value is however rich the man that you can catch is. And I don't know if that's the modeling world, if that's just the corner of the modeling world for some reason I was in, if that's just who I met during that time. But there's a lot of pressure on very young women in the modeling industry, even by your own agents, to like go meet up with some older man with a lot of money because it's going to be a good situation for you. And it rarely is. And it rarely is. like there can of course be those men that will take care of you and love you and want you to just do whatever you want or will support you in your career um even when you have no money and will always be loyal but there's also a lot more that won't do that and will lie to you and say that they'll do that and then you're you're caught in a situation where you're 35 you have no career you have no job you have um no money and he leaves you for a 22 year old and you just feel empty and I I watched so many of my friends go through that and I also think that so many women are taught to look for that when I wish women were told you can do that on your own sis if you want that go ahead but like you can very easily accomplish what he has on your own but that that's never a part of the conversation so I think as as a content creator who has are primarily female following and them being primarily young, I feel a responsibility to make sure that they know that if I can make this type of money, they definitely can and that they should never have to mute themselves or make themselves into something they're not.

48:01Like I felt pressure to like wear tiny skirts and heels and make myself, you know, like attractive by men's standards so that I could catch one of those men. That's like how you're trained. If women were just told like, no, you can do it. You can do this. And there's, there's no issue. Um, I think that a lot more women would be in, in a very happy place. I think the world would be in a better place because we just see more women doing what they actually want to do. So yeah, it's important to me to make sure young women know that they can do it on their own.

48:34The Gstaad Guy:We live in a very cool time where the resources needed and the protection we get through our phones is is a great thing although of course our phones can put us in positions where we overexpose ourselves or even put us in a position of danger but for the most part the phone actually does create this barrier of like physical safety yeah where you can put yourself out there but not necessarily be around people that would put you in a dangerous place you could just be at home and turn your phone on and create some content and do all these great things so uh well in seven it's like 77 % of people who are monetized on social media are women.

49:14Because this is giving accessibility into a place that like, I think, especially for me growing up, I'm grateful to my parents for communicating to me that I could do it. That was always something that my parents were really good at. My mom always taught me that there's nothing more powerful than an intelligent woman. It was not a beautiful woman. It was an intelligent woman because looks fade very quickly. But your brain is forever so invest in the one thing that stays forever which is your brain but i don't think a lot of young women grow up in that they're told like when you having kids when you getting married when you know why why do that why do little social media videos when you should be having kids and there's just so much of that it almost becomes an echo chamber where women can feel very like this is what i have to do yeah um so i hope my content can provide like another echo of like you don't have to do that there's nothing wrong with doing that either everyone is so different and everyone finds their place in life in a different place but like you are so capable like and just because you're a woman means probably means you're more capable no things but um so yeah it just breaks my heart that so many women especially on the coast like la and new york feel pressure to like marry a rich man and just give up their dreams in their life to do so i want

50:30The Gstaad Guy:to get specific on the the power topic and that you're you mentioned like knowledge is basically power yeah in which categories do you find that acquiring knowledge creates the most power like if we want to if someone wants to look things up on youtube today and learn things today what do they look up i would study people because if you understand people and you understand human behavior i think you're just going to be a better content creator if you're looking to be a content creator i also just think you're going to be better in business because you'll understand why people do the things they do, why they lie, why they don't, why they, you know, feel insecure, why they would feel prideful, why, um, why certain men act a certain way, why certain women, like there are just all of these tendencies that just make you better at understanding people and calculating how their mind works so that you can better, you know, partner with them or understand them or communicate with them.

51:25So I'd say just, just study people.

51:28The Gstaad Guy:I had a guest on the podcast that I really enjoyed her name is Sabina Belli she's the CEO of Pomellato it's a big Italian jewelry brand and she shared very similar thoughts to you she was saying that to her the most important category of knowledge is also financial literacy to understand how many works and how someone can against your will assert so much power over you if they just have more knowledge of how the money can affect you for the better for worst so i just recharging the words of sabina and so much of having money is power right like we see it in the world like the the people who have a the chance to make big changes are a lot of people with a lot of money yeah and i think that i didn't understand the importance of having your own money when i was younger because i thought like oh as long as you're supported and you're good like it's fine but the confidence you get just the confidence like even just in your own head that you get when like you make a certain amount of money is a confidence I would love for every single woman in the world to feel because even if it's temporary even if you don't care about money even if you go and donate all that money to a charity it doesn't matter the money doesn't it's just knowing that you can do it is huge um how has being a self-made woman with lots of money of your own and a great career and great success of your own impacted your view of self and your view of self while also dating and looking for partners oh hugely i mean hugely i hate that it does but it does like and it's not even like i care about those things at all it's really just it's freedom to not need somebody.

53:23You don't really know that it's going to go wrong, though, when you don't have money until somebody uses it against you. But I, again, see my friends have it held over them where it's like, well, where are you going tonight? Well, no, you can't take the card or no, you can't take the car. And it's like, can they push back on that? Because did they buy the car? No. And you watch that in them. They're like, I want to say this, but I can't. When you have it all yourself, you don't ever have to mute yourself anymore. You can just say it. And I think women should just say it, whether they have it or not.

53:52But sometimes you need that extra confidence boost of like, no, I don't feel like I'm stepping on his toes because I bought that car and I will use that car whenever I want to. That's where it changes. You don't let men talk down to you anymore because half the time you're making way more than them. and they're acting like they rule the world and you're like, honey, I times five your salary. And yet you're still calling it little social media videos. It's just, it's funny. You almost eat it for like face value.

54:20The Gstaad Guy:Yeah. You can make a very different style of decision when you come from a position of abundance than a position of scarcity, right? If you need something from a person versus, oh, they're just icing on the cake. Fine. You might need them emotionally for other categories, but if you don't need them to survive, then you're not a puppy in the dynamic. A puppy literally needs its owner to feed it and survive. Otherwise, a puppy will just collapse. And I think being two self-sufficient partners is most often, I think, the best foundation for a healthy relationship of some kind. I agree. And then you just never feel like they can abuse that power too, because it feels so even.

55:00I think that that's why I respect my sister and her husband's relationship so much as my My sister is an attorney and her husband's an attorney and they both work on his thing together. And so she feels even though she's not, quote unquote, the one making the money, she is. She feels very much a part of it. And that's why it works so well. And even though she's a stay at home mom and they do their own thing, she very much feels like half that money is hers. And it is. And I love the way that their relationship works because it's like you can still be that stay at home mom. She's there for every game.

55:36She's there for her kids in every single way. But she also feels so empowered to have a say financially in the home. Like she's the one making sure that the house is the way that she wants it, you know? And I just, I respect that.

55:47The Gstaad Guy:I grew up in a household of two sisters who were very vocal about all the things they wish men could do better. Yeah. Hence, the biggest part of my content is servicing that. I'm literally talking about what men can do better in this generation. A lot. it's true a lot of it is even self-deprecating right i even talk about myself um i would love to hear from you you said what you would love to see women do and feel more empowered what would you love to see men do of this generation better i would love for men to start seeing women as equals as equals in every way and seeing themselves as equals to women in the more feminine ways like I know so many people that are in relationships and both work yet the woman is still the one doing the household chores and it's like you guys both work 40 hours a week why is she the only one unloading the dishwasher like that's crazy to me yet men because of how they were raised and I think in the patriarchal society in which we live not to get feminist on you but you know I'm a feminist they're programmed to think of it as a woman's job And I think we have to un-program that programming.

57:06And I think it's in men and women, which is why just to both, just we're equal playing fields. We come with all different strengths. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, we all have different strengths. Like I'm a lot more masculine than a lot of my guy friends and they're a lot more feminine than me, but that doesn't make, you know, them, women and me a man. And like we all carry different things and like understanding the balance that it takes in a relationship where you're not just shoving all the household stuff onto your girlfriend is really, really important. And I think will make for a better relationship when you realize that you're just two humans trying to coexist and live in a in the same place.

57:46And there's I don't know, gender roles are so outdated.

57:49The Gstaad Guy:What about prior to to becoming a couple? prior to becoming a couple i think i think men need to do a better job well goodness where do i start uh honesty is a big one i think being up front about what they're looking for a lot of my content is about dating in 2025 and how horrible it is because a lot of people just aren't honest they're not honest with what they want they're not honest in how long they want to date you they're not even honest in like if they're seen other people or not. I think like honesty, we're all adults here. Just be honest. If you're scared, you're going to offend someone.

58:27Why are you trying to date them? Like just get out. Um, so honesty, uh, lower the pride a little bit, like just come to the table as a person. And then I do like men who feel like they have the responsibility of taking care of a woman. I like the way that their mind works in that, but I don't like when it changes how they act towards a woman like the woman is less than like I think I know that I have money want to take care of a guy I think like if you love someone you want to take care of them so I think um that's an important thing in either side of a relationship I guess the difference is what you're saying is

59:03The Gstaad Guy:between gender roles versus power dynamics yeah like if you have the abundance to take care of someone you're saying take care of them regardless of the gender of course yeah absolutely I grew up in a different way where gender roles... Were rigid. A bit more rigid, right? Like I think when people say gender roles, they assume it has a lot of negative weight. Yeah. And my parents always wanted my sisters to be very much independent and self-sufficient, but they also had expectations of me that they didn't have of them. Yeah. They expected me to act a certain way that they didn't of them and be...

59:44The Gstaad Guy:traditionally, gentlemanly, for lack of a better explanation. But they never said those things to my sisters. So I think there is, in my world at least, unhealthy gender roles and also some that can be healthier because they don't actually take away from anyone's power or self-worth. They're actually just supplementary or even cultural. I think a lot of gender roles are, for example, opening a door for a lady.

1:00:16The Gstaad Guy:are not taken away from a woman's value. If anything, it actually elevates. You know what I mean? I actually think it's weird when the other day I was at JFK and there's this tiny little, she was probably like 18, traveling on her own, trying to haul her big bags off. And there's 20 huge dudes just standing there. That's just a politeness thing. It's not because she's a woman. It's because she's 90 pounds and she's struggling and you're bigger and stronger like those you call them out i'm sure you called them out no but i i tried to go help her and then the second i started moving another man a man started to move but like i i do wish like that still existed and that again it's not even gender roles it's just like a side just like being a nice person same with like if somebody's coming behind you open the door if there's a mother with a child on the subway you know and you're sitting stand up but like i would do that the same way a guy should do that yeah i think we get like overly invested in gender roles and then we like build our entire identity off of them and i think that's where it's a problem in the extreme i guess yeah yeah and it's when you're teaching women in the power dynamics of like gender roles that like the man should lead in this maybe change the language like the man should be there to help you of course but like a man doesn't always have to lead that's the conversation that should be happening it's more nuanced yeah exactly there's gray area at this there isn't anything in life exactly i think nuance is rare online it is it's a lot of extreme views on on everything you post anything that's like i like pancakes people oh so you hate waffles oh you hate waffles i'm like no i actually like both of them what and then you're just like defending and that's why yeah the online ecosystem can be crazy yeah Yeah, nuances, the reality and beauty of most things.

1:02:06The Gstaad Guy:On the Staggay podcast, we always play a game of à la poubelle, which is fantastic. À la poubelle in French. À la poubelle. À la poubelle. À la poubelle. Means to the trash. Okay. And just run in the trash. My love life. À la poubelle. À la poubelle. À la poubelle. What do you see to be à la poubelle right now in the trash? In the trash. Controlling men. a la poubelle a la poubelle a la poubelle if he's gonna tell you what you can and can't wear out girl a la poubelle if he follows girls on the internet that are not you not you well they can be his mom I'm not crazy no they can be his mom and his friends but like if he doesn't know them and they're in swimsuits as they should I can follow them I'm a girl I can cheer them on but like what are you doing a la poubelle a la poubelle what if he's following them before dating you but then once he starts dating you he unfollows them Fine.

1:03:01The Gstaad Guy:That's fine? Totally fine. Yeah. Totally fine. I have the boys back. Why? Yeah. Totally fine because people make mistakes. He was on the market. He's no longer on the market. Exactly. He can shake. It speaks to character though. So you can always, as a girl, you can ask that question. You can be like, why did you feel the need to follow all of these women? And then we can discuss from there. Fantastique. A la poubelle. A la poubelle. Fine. We can switch to things you do like. Things I do like. Fantastique. Things you celebrate. Things I celebrate, like in general. In general. Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

1:03:35Sure.

1:03:35The Gstaad Guy:Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Do you like Cinnamon Toast Crunch leftover milk? Oh, dude. Yeah. Who doesn't? You slurp that thing off. It's delicious. It's like cinnamon flavored milk. It's great. It's incredible. In dating. What's all a pubel? When he slides into my DMs instead of me sliding into his. No, that's Fantastique. That's Fantastique. Fantastique. I'm learning a whole different language today. Let's see. What else is Fantastique? Oh, when you text me first. because you don't like being the first I don't I don't like I do love in my life and in my job I like feeling again I hate the generals like a man it's not like a man it's like a woman but like I like feeling like I got my stuff but sometimes I don't want to feel like I'm the first to text you every time because then it feels strange so like I love a man that like takes initiative so that I don't have to feel as cringe and I'm sure you like the same from your friends as well I do yeah well No, my friends, no, I don't.

1:04:32I'll text them all day long 18 times in a row with no response. That's what I like in my partnerships, too. But, you know, when you're doing the song and dance of when you first meet, you can't freak them out by sending them 800 videos in a row. Then I like them to text me first so that I'm not the weirdo. Yeah, that's fantastic. Men planning the first date. I think that's fantastic. I just less work for my ladies, you know.

1:04:56The Gstaad Guy:What does an ideal first date look like to you? Oh, interesting. I just like to talk. I think I wouldn't want to go to a movie on a first date. Maybe in high school I would have loved that. Because then you don't have to talk. But now I'm like, I would love to go to just like a cute little lounge in New York City. Do like a little, I don't know, you know there's like craft cocktail places that make like cool cocktails. You can get ones without alcohol so that it sits at everybody. And you can have like a fancy juice with like a lemon thing in it. And you can just talk. Or like just walking around New York.

1:05:27The Gstaad Guy:A walk is nice. Walks are great. Central Park. Anything you wish you could hear, your younger self could hear. To all the younger girls who follow me, 30 is not old. I see that so often and girls will be like, oh my goodness, I'm turning 23. And I'm like, your life hasn't even started yet. Like my life started at 30, actually. Like all of this started after the age of 30. Oh, wow. Like I didn't know who I was really. I was still figuring it out. I still am figuring it out, but like I am so much happier in my life the older that I get. I know that's like random and out of left field, but like. It's not random at all.

1:06:07The Gstaad Guy:It's a beautiful thought. Yeah. Don't be afraid of aging. And I'll probably say that more and more the older that I get just to remind myself. But yeah, don't be afraid of like being a woman. Like it's awesome. Well, Hayley, I really appreciate all your honesty today, taking the time to be here. Absolutely. It's always a great time to talk to you. It's always lovely. And I'm excited for more of our great convos. Hey, congrats on the podcast. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Start Guy podcast. If you're keen to learn more, please follow along by engaging with our social channels on Instagram, TikTok, Spotify, YouTube and Apple Podcasts.

1:06:54The Gstaad Guy:And we look forward to seeing you next week. Merci beaucoup. A la prochaine and a big hug from the Stardguy.