Davide De Pierro: Author of "The Letters I Never Sent" – Love, Self-Awareness, Dating, & The Complexity of Being Human

28:53It's okay to be romantic and to make gestures if that's in fact who you really are. But if you feel like you're approaching relationships in a way that is not sustainable, that is how everyone ends up getting disappointed. And then they move on. And I think this ties in with another problem, I think, another mistake, if I can use that word, that people make in relationships is they expect too much of another person. I think somewhere along the way. We started dating in a way that required our partner to be our best friend, our lover, our business partner, our therapist. and it's okay if your partner is in fact your best friend.

29:40I think it's lovely when people say that, but you should still have best friends and you should have a life outside of your partner and you should have a support system outside of your partner and you should have hobbies that you don't necessarily share with your partner. If you like fishing, your girlfriend doesn't have to go fishing with you. It's okay to have different interests. You don't have to be everything to someone and I think there's so much pressure now Now, people are out to find their soulmate. And I don't even know what that means. But I think that what people think it means is that it's someone that is so perfectly designed for them.

30:18And I think so the other mistake in relationships would be to expect perfection rather than recognizing that a relationship is something that is just built over time. I think about my grandparents who married one of the 13 girls in their village. You know, they didn't have dating apps and social media. They didn't have this illusion of infinite choices. You just picked somebody that was relatively nice. And you made it work, you know. So I'm not saying we should do arranged marriages. But I think we've gone too far now. I think we're dating too much. And some people might disagree with that. But I think that when you date too much, you're just confusing yourself.

30:59So another piece of advice I would give. I'm giving advice now. I'm not qualified for this. But another piece of advice I would give is be monogamous in your dating life. So what I mean by that is try dating one person at a time. I'm not saying it might be two dates, but only at the conclusion of those two dates, go date someone else. But when you have like hedging your bets, when you're dating six people at once and one person is on Wednesday, one's on Friday. And then next week you'll see them again. And both of them, you're just, no one is built to be able to deal with that confusion. I think we're, we're meant generally, we have to speak in generalities.

31:40Otherwise we can never speak at all. I think generally speaking, people need to be able to, uh, focus on one person, even if it's just for a week and then move on, but don't, don't have a massive rotation. If you're intentionally trying to meet someone, if you don't care and you just want to have fun and date a bunch of people, then that's fine. Just be honest about that. Yeah, but if you're intentionally dating, I think it would be well worth it to date one person at a time, even if it's briefly, but just focus your energy on that person, and if it doesn't work out, then you can go on another date with someone else.

32:14That's my advice.

32:16The Gstaad Guy:I like it. It's very useful. My brain works through role models when I try to improve habits or create habits. I have people around me are people that I want to get closer to that are either very successful in their career or their family lives or in their health and the way they care for their bodies. And I try to watch the way they approach life and pick up one or two things here, pick up one or two things there. I think a lot of people share that. When it comes to relationships, are your grandparents that you You mentioned that beaming light you like to work towards. I wish I could say yes.

32:57But, you know, those relationships were very, very different. I think I would like in my life to have a tremendously romantic marriage. You know, my grandfather, I came from peasantry. Okay. And you are European as well, I think? Yeah, from London. So you understand this. So particularly in Italy, and I think it's true and generally in Europe, there's very little social mobility. So if you were born to farmers and peasants, you can be sure that your family has been poor since Julius Caesar. OK, you like there was no like, you know, rich great grandfather that then lost the money and then no one loses the money in Europe.

33:48No one loses the money. If you were the Duchess of Venice in 1460, whatever you're up to now, you still have all of that money. OK, so my grandparents were peasants. OK, my grandfather didn't have shoes until his wedding day. so so but nevertheless nevertheless um i do have a beautiful uh romantic love story for my grandparents my my my grandmother has been a widow since her early 40s um my grandfather died i never met him he died the year i was born um and he was apparently a remarkable man that people loved and one time I was hanging out with my friend and we would egg my grandma on to get stories out of her.

34:38She's this little old Italian-American lady now. She speaks neither Italian nor English, which is typical of... Ambiguous. It's typical of people who came here in the 50s and never really learned either language. And in her broken English, my friend asked her, Christina, Christina, why didn't you ever remarry? And she went, for me, there was only one man. So she met my grandfather when she was a little girl and and they they married and they came to America and there was nothing else for her after that. And, you know, I'm I'm not saying that people shouldn't remarry or whatever, but I think every man privately.

35:25hopes that if they pass away, their girlfriend will never touch another man. But my grandmother actually did that. My grandmother never so much has held another man's hand.

35:34The Gstaad Guy:Wow. And there's a beautiful romance in that. I don't know what we can take from that. But yes, I think that in part, I probably did derive some inspiration from these stories. I think I saw women and men, especially women actually to be fair who were incredibly committed only god knows what the men were up to when they were working in the factories in france and then coming home just for christmas but i hope i'm sure my grandfather was a wonderful man but but my grandmother who was home uh this is my other grandfather but this is on my mother's side my grandfather would literally come home once or twice a year and that's why they had nine children um and i think it was 13 pregnancies because he would literally come home from the factories.

36:21They would just send money from wherever they were working and then they would come home and conceive. So every year there was a child. But the women that I grew up with and around were incredibly pious and Christian and devout and loving and hardworking people that I don't think I could ever find such a woman, nor would I deserve one, nor would I expect anyone to deal with what my grandmothers did because it is, in fact, nowadays impossible and perhaps even too much to ask or to want, and I don't want that. But I think that what I learned from them, at the very least, which we can translate to any time, is devotion, is loyalty, is family.

37:20And that I hope I did learn from them and that I hope I exhibit in my relationships or whatever relationships will come.

37:29The Gstaad Guy:While you're saying everything you're saying, and thank you for opening up about your grandma, your grandma Christina, Christina, right? Christina, yeah. I think I'm trying to piece one thing together, which might make sense, and I'd love to hear what you think. Your grandmother and grandfather shared struggle. And I think through struggle, people earn mutual loyalty, respect and devotion. And in the absence of struggle, I think it's difficult to assume those things artificially. and the ability to get through struggle with someone and have that grit to commit to, we're going to do this together no matter what, no matter how difficult it's going to be to go from Italy to the US and board this ship and do all these crazy things.

38:21The Gstaad Guy:We'll get through this together. And I guess where I'm going with this is, I think mutual struggle and being able to share struggle with someone might be part of that foundation that the last generation went through. A hundred percent. I don't really mean this, but I'm going to say it to be provocative. I'm not so certain that wealthy people love each other. And what I mean by that is there's something inherently transactional about marrying a wealthy man. Sure, he might be handsome and you're attracted to him, or he might be lovely and he's wonderful. But it's hard to get away. And I'm sure rich men, which I am not, maybe they can speak to this for me, might agree that they probably struggle mightily in ever knowing for sure.

39:14And they're probably very careful in their dating life because they need to be sure that this person actually loves them. My grandfathers can be sure that my grandmothers loved them because they offered nothing other than their hard work and their care and their love. But I'm always fascinated by, and these are the people I grew up with and amongst, I'm always fascinated by the stories of common people and particularly even their love stories because there is such an authenticity and a genuineness to it because they offered each other nothing but struggle. There was no gain in being together. other than to be together.

39:58And even to this day, I mean, you know, most of the world is still either living in poverty or working really hard. I mean, these are people that I speak to and for every day in my videos. I mean, that's the world that I'm from. Disregard this fine jacket. But typically, I mean, these are people that I've been around my entire life. I grew up in inner city America. You know, we we we we we struggled as a family at times. And I'm not I'm not a child of. Of means I didn't grow up in that kind of a community or that kind of a family. And I think that what I've seen. In sharing space with that kind of community and those kind of people is that there's just a there's just a greater authenticity to the way that they love and you can be sure of it i think that you can be sure that someone really loves you when you can offer them so little no that sounds terrible i think we should be trying to to offer each other things um but it's hard it's it's it's hard to to be sure of someone that you haven't struggled with to your point yeah and when you build something together there's a beauty in that i think there's a beauty in building together i am i think there's that there's that phrase that you see online sometimes and you have to always forgive me if i'm wrong when i say these things because i don't know what's online but i think it's something like um let's build our empire together yeah um i don't know no one's building any empires together people always say like i'm find your king and your queen listen find your peasant find your peasant who's gonna buy shoes for the first time on his wedding day and who's gonna devout his life to you um and and the same thing goes for men too i i think that we people are so attracted to the shining and glimmering things and i think it's far more beautiful to to gain those things together But to come from a place of genuineness, which oftentimes is linked together with struggle.

42:20Now, that doesn't mean that you have to be starving to find meaning or beauty or love. But I think that I would encourage people to not jump ship the first time things get difficult with someone. Absolutely. I agree. That's the only reason why these marriages lasted. It's not because they were meant to be or because they found the best person in the world. It worked because they committed themselves to making it work.

42:53The Gstaad Guy:I really resonate with a lot of what you're saying. And I do agree that the mutual struggle absolutely sets a really strong foundation. But in similar ways that you observe your audience and observe the people around you as a part of your career and a part of your presence online, I do the same. And with Stadgei, a big part of my job and my content is observing the world of the wealthy. And I do agree on the point of struggle, but I wouldn't give financial success so much credit. And what I mean by that is I've seen beautiful, wholesome, stable and strong marriages of people who live with financial scarcity and people who live with financial abundance yeah certainly certainly and i think the struggle can be non-financial to still bring them together and i think conflict resolution and problem solving is the main thing here.

43:54The Gstaad Guy:I think when someone is incredibly wealthy and they acquired that wealth easily and they never had to fight for anything, it's going to be a tough time dating a person like that. Because when one thing goes wrong, they'll likely walk away. Everything has been abundant. Yes. But if a couple or a person has had struggles in other categories of their life, could be some sort form of loss, could be some form of medical trouble, could be anything in between. I think they are taught that grit and how to problem solve in categories that transcend and that allow a relationship to flourish. And

44:40The Gstaad Guy:I think looking for those problem solving skills that we were talking about, looking for the way someone acts during positions of struggle is a great way to vet someone early on. I think as you were saying earlier the beginning is probably the most important part I think the first and second fight and argument or struggle is really important because if someone's approaching that no matter what financial resources they have or let's say you don't even know those things at that point the way someone's approaching struggle and approaching an issue if they're doing it through compassion through time investment through understanding versus just like throwing money at the problem or throwing emotion at the problem, throwing anger, you can learn a lot about the person and how they solve conflict.

45:33The Gstaad Guy:And I think that's something that I would say is really important to me. I think I'm much more interested about the first disagreement I have with someone I'm trying to date rather than the first amazing day we have together. Yeah, for sure. I want to see how she's going to solve an issue with me and is she gonna freak out and find something to blame or is she gonna pause and work with me on finding ways we can improve yeah and i find that people who have had to improve things and fix things no matter the category are the people who i admire most so i think we're saying the same thing yeah i agree i agree yeah the opener about wealthy people was just me being provocative or just mean just just saying things just for the sake of it.

46:16I appreciate it. But no, but for the most part, it's true. For the most part. Well, I mean, I think there's that famous line. Jesus has something along the lines of, it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Now, of course, metaphorically, all that means is that you can be rich and still go to heaven. But I think metaphorically, what that means is that When you are so tied and bound to these material things in life, it alters your ability to be compassionate, to be good, to be loving because you're not focusing on the right thing.

47:00So at the end of the day, you can be wealthy so long as you still maintain your ability to focus on what matters more in life. Absolutely. Like compassion, like kindness, like love, like being a good person. So to the point of conflict in relationships, I think it's I also agree that it is paramount. One of the most stressful situations you can find yourself in in a relationship. And I've been in it. I've been in a relationship where every argument felt like it was a potential breakup. I mean, the anxiety of that, the stress of that, where. you never feel perfectly safe to have conflict because you think that this person is going to walk away for no other reason than the fact that things aren't going perfectly.

47:42And I think you're right that it's important to be with someone that can struggle with you, that can have conflict with you, and that can resolve these things, and that still loves you through it. And I think that that is the comfort and peace and confidence that you get in those relationships like my grandparents. There was no thought of not being together. It's not even part of the equation. Now, we can say that that's a product of the times, of the culture, of the religion and it may be so but be that as it may it was it i think it's i think that inherent in the success of a relationship is having both feet in at all times and if there's even just the sense that someone is going to walk away because there's some momentary struggle there's an illness there's some other kind of conflict.

48:47I think that that's not a successful way to be together. I agree. Of course, there's an exception to everything. Again, as I said earlier, if we speak generally, then we can't speak at all. Someone says, well, but what about if... I'm sure. I'm sure there are reasons to leave someone. But generally speaking, I think that we have to try to be fully committed to the cause. and that includes storms come. I mean, it rains on the just and on the unjust. There's highs and lows for everyone. And so we have to form relationships with people and also be that person. We have to be that person ourselves too.

49:29Be someone who can overcome difficulties with someone rather than just abandoning at the first sign of difficulty.

49:40The Gstaad Guy:Absolutely. Fully, fully aligned. a big part of this thought process to me as well is self-awareness and people to be able to step back and take accountability. It's actually one of the first things I look for in someone that means the most to me. No matter how small or minute an error may have been, but just the ability for someone to say, hey, by the way, Davide, that thing yesterday, my bad, you were right. To be able to set the ego aside and look at oneself across categories means so much to me, even in partner selection. I have no right to expect something in someone habitually, lifestyle-wise, that I can't do for myself.

50:25The Gstaad Guy:And I spoke to someone over the summer who was telling me that she really wanted to find a guy who's ambitious and she just can't find an ambitious guy. It's impossible. But she's the least ambitious person I met her in my life. So, I mean, of course, I mean, I think an ambitious guy wants to be around an ambitious girl, so you can share that ambition. And I think self-awareness today is rarer than ever because maybe social media or conversation just qualifies bad behavior and bad thought processes. I agree with that. I think that we have a tremendous deficit of self-awareness right now in society.

51:07you could also see it like as you said in dating um people will frequently want far more than they can offer and and we and typically people have an inflated sense of self and like you have these guys online who i'm thinking about some of my videos as i say this but you know you have these guys online with the basketball shorts and the slides with socks on and they want a date of a tour secret model and it's just like listen you know there's someone for everybody but you have to be realistic too you have to you have to date in your in your lane um i think there was another one was something like like women aren't expensive you just have to date one that you can afford right like like if you're a if you're a toyota guy you know that's it yeah you can't try to date a lamborghini that's fine and that goes that applies to me too like i'm not i'm not going to date should i name drop someone that i want to date yes i'm not gonna date i don't know i don't know I don't know celebrities because I'm not online like that.

52:03Whatever, a really pretty model is not going to date me probably. Well, she wouldn't have five months ago. Maybe now she will, which means I definitely don't want to date her because I'm old enough for this to have happened to me at a time where I'm not going to be led astray. But to your point, because of my self-awareness, because I know who I really am, we're all always learning ourselves. But I think that being self-aware is critical in a relationship and being apologetic, as you said. There's nothing more beautiful than someone who apologizes and people so seldomly do. I'm on the other end of the spectrum.

52:42I am too self-aware. I think it's neurosis. Like I'm always seeing myself outside of myself. And I think it's what informs the content. I think that's how I make these videos.

52:52The Gstaad Guy:I'd rather that than this. Yeah, yeah. Self-aware. So I will apologize so quickly. The problem with me is I may still make the mistakes. So I think women that I've been with will say, oh, Davide is very apologetic. He just keeps making mistakes. But at least that's, I want to say that that's a little bit better than being someone who is never self-aware, never apologizes, never sees the fault in their thinking or in their doing. and quite frankly people like that are insufferable. I can never date someone who's always right and who's incapable of compromise and stepping back and saying, oh, you know what I did there probably wasn't the best way.

53:40I'm sorry for that. Let's try this again. So yeah, I think it's critical. I think it's critical to relationships and to everything in life to be a person that is self-aware, that doesn't have an inflated sense of self. Humility will forever go a long way, I think, in every aspect of life.

54:00The Gstaad Guy:Yeah. I had a boss in the past who told me, as well as that, if someone can't say something both calmly and simply, they don't understand it well enough. And people who are usually getting amped up about a topic, sometimes it's passion, but often it's actually to replace the knowledge needed. It's like taking this extreme view, extreme stance, full of emotion to make up for being able to justify the action or explain why something went that way. I think that's a good point. I think that's well said. I never thought of that, but I can see that. I can see how sometimes being the loudest person in the room is really just a form of aggravation.

54:43You're aggravated with the fact that you can't say what you feel or defend what you think.

54:52The Gstaad Guy:To defend what you think I think really stands out in relationships too. And I think it's not just verbals, also actions. It's, as you said earlier about this, everything ends up in a breakup. Instead of solving this problem, I'm going to raise my voice, storm out of the room, and if you want me, take me as I am or don't take me at all. It's like this, I am who I am. And I think that's quite cowardly instead of actually pausing and trying to understand the other person. Of course, I'm not perfect at all in this scenario. My emotions have gotten the best of me a hundred times. But I think it is much better for the future of a relationship to try and fix things rather than replacing things.

55:40Yes. No, we're definitely living in a time of replacement first and no one wants to ever fix anything. And that just doesn't, inherent to that is a lack of sustained success. You can't, if you're going to be with someone happily ever after, you don't get there unless you're going to solve things along the way. And the dating culture now is just... . . . Thank you. Try something on and throw it away. And then people are shocked that they end up alone, unhappily alone. If you're happily alone, then God bless. But if you want to be with somebody, as you say you do, I mean, you're on the dating app, so presumably you want to be with somebody.

56:30Although sometimes people will say, I'm not ready for something serious. We met on a dating app. I don't know if I want a relationship right now. I'm really going through that. Why did you match with me and have a conversation with me for three weeks? What were we doing then, if not that? But if you are, in fact, authentically trying to be with someone, that requires you to change at times while being yourself. Not change who you really are, but sometimes who you really are might not be that great. And maybe you can make some changes, you know. And then also to be someone who is willing to accept working with someone as they change.

57:07We have to give each other some grace. there's something that I say in the book that I put out which actually is a line from an ex-girlfriend so I stole her line what are you going to do but she always used to say it's really hard to be a person and I love it's such a simple sentence and usually those are I find those to be more poetic I don't like big words like Hemingway used to hate big words just say just string a lot of simple words together in a beautiful way and I think that's a beautiful sentence which is it's so hard to be a person. And I think sometimes we deal with each other forgetting that we're all doing this for the first time.

57:47We're all figuring out how to be. And if we approach each other with more grace and ourselves, I mean, we have to be graceful with ourselves. We can't be too hard on ourselves either. But it's important. But it's easier to do that when you're with someone who gives you that grace. And what I wish for everyone and for myself is to be with someone that is graceful, that holds space for their difficulties, their insecurities. We are all so insecure. Can we all stop acting like we're just so proud of ourselves and we're so confident? Certainly, we can have moments of that, but we contain multitudes.

58:27I mean, we're complex people. We can be incredibly confident at times, and at times we can be deathly insecure. and expecting our partner to always be super cool and to never require any affirmation from us and to never need us. People are so preoccupied now with avoiding so-called toxicity and having just completely just easygoing relationships at all times, smooth sailing at all times that we forget that people sometimes are going to need us. And that's okay. It's okay to be fragile. And I think that we have to hold each other more gracefully in relationships and make space for that humanity instead of trying to be perfect and expecting perfection.

59:20The Gstaad Guy:I love everything you're saying and even in the categories of friendship I think a lot of what we want in partners is what we want in friends and even our family members and just people in our lives and approaching friendships in the same way I think is at least good practice, it's like your friends are already your friends, be more peaceful to them and make it a bigger part of your DNA and make it who you are versus just trying to perform for your partner, but then being an asshole to your best friend. Exactly. Yeah, I agree with that. Although I will say that I think men take this too far. Like there's nothing that can end my male friendships.

1:00:00We could not speak for eight months. And she's like, hey man, how you been? And no one gets mad at each other. So sometimes we take it too far. But I think women are a bit more critical of each other in friendships. And they actually have, I'm always amazed when I discover that women have friendship breakups. man I've never broken up with a friend I might not see him for six years and he may never ask anything about my life but when I see him man everything is great I agree it's my best friend's birthday for 25 years yeah nobody cares one time a guy friend kind of corrected me and it was awkward it was weird for us it was a weird moment I was like alright let's never do this again what did he say?

1:00:39I don't know he was just like I feel like you never ask about me I'm like this is very awkward So actually, I think we should make a little bit more space for a little bit more criticism in male friendships. But generally speaking, yes, we should expect less of each other. And I mean that not so much and be a doormat and let people just use you and abuse you. But we never know what people are going through. And we never know what it means to be someone else. We never really know anyone. We hardly ever really know ourselves. and I think that it's important to just accept people as they are. Sometimes people will say, don't you wish you could change your father or your mother?

1:01:28And I am particularly of this belief when it comes to older people. What are you going to change? They're seven years old. This is what they are. This is it. So instead of people who are constantly having arguments with their parents when you're adults, At some point, you have to just accept that they're old and this is how they are and all the things that form them to be who they are. I'm not out here trying to convince people to change or to be different. I would much rather just take the best of them and then just don't hang out with them as much. That's it. It's really not that difficult. People pound their head against the wall trying to change people.

1:02:13And I think that's time poorly spent. I think it would be a much better use of your time to take the best of everything and leave behind the worst and carry on with your life. Yeah, take it to face value. Yeah, for sure. For sure.

1:02:35The Gstaad Guy:when you're getting to know someone or when someone's getting to know someone. And really the game you're trying to play is let's figure out as soon as possible how compatible we are so we don't waste each other's time. Yeah. Right? Let's not, as you said, text for three weeks and then realize the third week, oh, we're misaligned here. Do you think there are good ways or bad ways of getting to know a person as well as you can as soon as possible. I'll preface this by saying that I'm awful at this. So I am historically someone who doesn't really get to know people or rather give people time or chances to learn more about them.

1:03:24I've always been a, I'm not going to be so forced to say love at first sight, but I've been a, I can love this person at first sight. I don't know, something happens to me chemically I just viscerally feel that I'm attracted to this person and I engage them and I try to find out who they are over time. But by then I probably romanticize them and idealize them. And that's why I'm single. But so I think it is time to start getting to know people a bit more and give people chances. And I think that one way to get to know people is certainly to do with them the things you care about. again this is this this goes in line with what we talked about earlier it's it's it's it's so important when you're getting to know someone to be yourself to say what you really think there are people out here who find out months into a relationship you know their political views or or their or their religious views and i just feel like i personally don't put great stock in much of these things.

1:04:28But if you do, you should probably let them know early on. And people, again, are so frequently putting on mask upon mask upon mask. And I think they do that not because they feel that they can't be themselves. It's so odd. People complain like, oh, I just have to put on a show where nobody loves me. I have to put on these masks. But then I'm told that that I'm supposed to just be myself. I think it comes from, really, it comes from a place of fearing that you will not be loved as you really are. You're putting on these masks not because they're expecting it of you, but because you're expecting it of yourself.

1:05:11You are afraid to be who you really are because you don't think that person deserves the person in front of you. And so it's so important to work through that. I challenge and I beseech men to please work through things. Women are going to therapy for everybody. Women are going to therapy for everybody. The numbers are clear. Women are going to therapy more. Women are reading more. Nobody reads anymore.

1:05:45Work on yourself. Go to church. If that's something that speaks to you, go to church. Or listen to his podcast. Listen to his podcast. Buy my book. Do something. But don't just give up on self-improvement and then try to mask all of that when you're dating and then be disappointed and frustrated when you find that it didn't work out. You have to. It's so cliche, but it's so critical to love yourself because only upon loving yourself can you be yourself. you're no longer afraid to let loose and be who you really are and say what you really feel and what you really think and that is how you get to know someone by having real conversations by exchanging thoughts that are actually yours rather than just kind of pretending to be someone to see how far along it'll get you it's not going to get you very far and it's going to lead you to discontent So as far as getting to know someone and learning someone, I would say that it all begins with honesty.

1:06:56You have to just be honest. That's the fastest route to getting to the truth about someone and yourself. I have an analogy for how I date and I'd love to hear what you think about it.

1:07:14The Gstaad Guy:I like to manage my dating life like a really well-run nightclub. And what I mean by that is I'm really strict at the door. Date one to date five, early days, that's my door. I'm asking all the questions, something I don't like, something that I see that I don't like. I don't want to work through it that early on. I want to move on to the next person trying to get into the club. Door's closed, sorry. This is not the club for you. But once the person made it through the line and they're inside my very well-run nightclub, I'm a welcoming host I'm kind and I'll work through trouble the reason why I give a really well run nightclub because what is a poorly run nightclub it's the door is open to everyone come on in and then once you realize there's a bad actor inside and a bad behavior inside you kick them out they don't want to leave they're holding on to the door but my friends are still here and this whole mess but if you're strict at the door people inside are actually typically having a good time and they're quite value aligned I love that analogy that's how I like to I think be very strict early on but then be very kind, welcoming and gracious once they've made it through the audition stage absolutely I love that analogy, that's great, I'm going to do a video on that and pretend that I came up with it and I'll tag you and just block, I'm going to block you I think it's a great analogy, it reminds me again of something my grandmother used to say I love grandma Christina This is now Nonna Rosa.

1:08:47This is the one that was still in Italy, my mother's mother. I love them both. I do too. So she would say something along the lines of, if it's not sweet in the beginning, then what is the point? And so to connect that with your analogy, I would say that the initial interaction has to be effortless. You have to just feel that compatibility, that desire, that interest, that romantic passion. And then you let them in and you learn the rest because the foundation was something out of your control. It was something that just happens to you, which I think is necessary. I think it's necessary to be a little bit all over each other in the beginning.

1:09:40And then as time goes on, with the person you've carefully selected, because, you know, as E.E. Cummings says in a poem, my blood approves and kisses are a better fate than wisdom. which is to say that early on it's not about logic it's not about knowing it's not about i i have this you know this this uh list of categories and these boxes to check it's you know my blood approves it's something beyond me it's something natural and now we're gonna be together or try and now along the way i'm gonna learn the rest that's way better than you know i'm just going to date whoever. I'm not even particularly interested in this person.

1:10:26I don't really have that good of feelings for them or strong feelings for them, but we're just going to see what happens and we'll figure it out along the way. You know, so now actually I'm backtracking. Earlier on, I chastised myself for not letting people in. I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing, which is I'm only going to date somebody if when I meet them, I'm absolutely enamored with them in a toxic way and then we'll see how it plays out. Maybe not the toxic way, but I think it's important to have a foundation of true interest, true curiosity, true attraction to be very selective at the door.

1:11:02Um, and then give that person that you've selected the grace and the space to learn, to be themselves for, to accept you and to, and, and, and to, and to modify parts of you that need work. But yeah, but to just let anybody in and just date the world and then be so disappointed that they didn't meet your standards. And when the club sucks. Yeah, yeah. Because in a way, you know what it is? In a way, that inexplicable, indefinable interest softens the blow of their poorer qualities. I think that because you love this person or because you feel something for this person, you're more likely to accept their faults.

1:11:55I think the reason why people are so dissatisfied in their dating life is because they're trying to accept faults of people for whom they harbor no sweetness. And there's another line, I forget who said this one, but something along the lines of it's incredible how, you know, when someone loves you, they will forgive everything, even your vices. And when they don't love you, they will praise nothing, not even your virtues. And so, of course, you're going to be disappointed if you're constantly dating people with whom you don't have some level of genuine interest and passion and excitement about.

1:12:32So be strict at the door. Let people in when you're really excited about them. And I think you'll find that that excitement will actually assist you in struggling together because there's something worth struggling for. If you're just lukewarm about somebody, the first time that they do something that doesn't align with you, of course you're going to run. I completely agree.

1:13:00The Gstaad Guy:how much do you value the opinion of friends family your aunties on a potential partner you know generally i'm pretty poor at taking advice with relationships i i i but i still seek it out so like and my friends will say we know how this is going to work we're going to talk about this 30 times and then you're going to do what you want to do anyway but but so So, you know, they give me the free therapy and then I just do what I intended to do from the beginning anyway. But I still love to talk it out. I'm a talker. We talk about everything. My friends and I, we talk to exhaustion and my family.

1:13:39The Gstaad Guy:If you want to make a bad decision, ask everybody. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm the person who is like giving people options. Like, do I do A or B? Because I act like I don't know what I want. And then it's always that old saying of, you know, if you don't know what you want, like flip a coin and recognize where you hope it's going to land when it's in the air, you know, because a part of you always kind of knows where you want to go. So, you know, I try to take advice from people who I think have done things well. If I admire where they are in life, then I'll take their advice. I'm not going to take advice from someone that I don't think, that I don't envy in a way.

1:14:30So, yeah, I definitely value advice very much. I love having a long conversation about something. I just don't know if I bridge the gap between valuing it and following it. I tend to still pretty much do whatever I wanted to do from the start. I have to improve on that. I have to be better at making some use of these long conversations rather than it just being like a cathartic just dump of my feelings. but in part interestingly enough now that you've mentioned that speaking with friends so this book that I wrote The Letters I Never Sent is actually in large part emails that me and two other friends sent to each other over the course of like 14 years wow in 2011 we started writing each other emails

1:15:25The Gstaad Guy:long emails as if and they were they were written to people you were dating at the time, but you would instead send them to your friend? No, no. They were written to my friends and vice versa, to each other. And it was essentially unintentionally a group journal. Nice. We were just talking about, I met this girl. And what's beautiful about having a 14 year email chain is that you have a real time record of, I met this girl. I'm dating this girl. Oh, this girl just broke my heart. You have the whole story there and you can see how you really felt in the moment and you're not editorializing it afterwards and so really what happened um after i had my moment on social media i i've always wanted to write i always wanted to be a storyteller and i think that i am in a way in the videos but what happened is i realized i think people would really enjoy reading some of this and so i found a way to construct it into a novel a story so to speak and and many of these emails which are really saying how I felt about people.

1:16:33So in a way, our letters about people, I categorize now, I labeled as the letters I never sent. But so to your question, how much do I speak to people? We write each other essays for decades. I mean, my friends and I are not the stereotypical men that a lot of people complain about now, which they don't talk about their feelings. They don't have friends. They don't express themselves. We express ourselves too much. You know, we wrote hundreds of pages of emails on how we were just navigating through life. And I'm so grateful to these friends because if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have been able to work out what I was going through at the time.

1:17:16And I also wouldn't have this work now, this piece of literature, I hope, that is valuable to people because they can relate to it. They can see that we all have common experiences. I think at the end of the day, the whole point of art, the whole point of conversation, the whole point of prayer, anything that we do, any language we use and exchange is really just a means to discover how we feel and also discover that others feel the same way. I had a professor in high school, I guess, a teacher. I don't know if you call high school professors professors. I always saw him as a professor. He was a brilliant man.

1:18:01And he always said, you don't know what you know until you are able to write it down. And that actually connected to something you said earlier. Some people are so frustrated because they can't express how they really feel. And I think it's critical to put into words how you feel. And it's also beautiful to be able to read words that put into words how you feel. Anytime I read a beautiful novel or beautiful poem, I'm always jealous because I think immediately, wow, he, she said exactly what I was thinking. And I think that is the importance of conversation. That is the importance of seeking advice about anything, whether it be relationships or business from people that you look up to or that are your friends or that are close to you.

1:18:54Because, you know, it opens up your world. It helps you see things differently. It helps you. And it helps you also discover yourself. It helps you see what you think about something. So, no, discourse, communication is essential. and I think people really should be seeking advice from those around them that they respect.

1:19:17The Gstaad Guy:I fully aligned and I even think it's really valuable to as you were saying, just write things down and maybe not even look for that feedback but just putting those thoughts down. When I'm feeling emotional about something I usually just go to my notes app and write it down and if I want to send it the next day then I will. sometimes I'll impulsively confront something or someone. But don't you find that you typically don't send it? I typically don't send it. Yeah, I think that's why it's so critical to write to yourself. Yeah, I agree. If it's something important, before you're going to write to someone else, especially in a relationship, write to yourself.

1:19:55The Gstaad Guy:For people who don't even like writing, voice note yourself. Yeah, voice note yourself. Just voice memo. And then the next day you'll hear the emotion in your voice. You'll hear the anger. You'll re-record that voice note. Sometimes it's just enough to say it. You don't need to have the audience that you intended for it. It's true. And then afterwards you can decide whether or not you want to share it. Absolutely. How do you feel about playing games and people who play games and relationships? I'll add a little subtitle to this. I try to not play games and try to actively go in the other direction.

1:20:32The Gstaad Guy:But there is this one time where I played a game by accident. And I'll walk you through it. I'll walk you through what happened. There was a girl I really liked. And I told her how I felt about her. She was like, listen, we're on different pages here. But I was like, what do you mean different pages? I thought you loved me too. I'm in love with you. And I did this whole crazy love confession. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was my favorite? She's definitely listening and she knows what I'm referring to. We're at this beautiful restaurant in London. And I confessed my love and she was on a different page.

1:21:04The Gstaad Guy:And I was very sad. because I had been waiting months for this moment and the dinners became really awkward. So we ended up cutting the dinner short and I dropped her home and said, listen, I guess we'll go in different directions. When I got home, I really wanted to text her and really wanted to message her. But instead I archived our chat on WhatsApp, which means it doesn't show up in your inbox anymore. And I said, I just can't see our text because I know she's not going to text me anyway. And I don't want it in my face because it's going to remind me of her. lo and behold the next day she texted me and i'm usually the type to respond in minutes especially in for and for this girl in seconds i'm responding before she's type oh yeah yeah you know too and she texted me i didn't see the text for like eight or nine days because she was in my archive file and during the whole eight or nine days i was all my best friends i was my best friend's place smashing my head against his wall saying why hasn't she reached out why hasn't she texted me i i think there's a way out of the life story yeah i was like i think i can i can fight for her i think we can make this work he's like listen buddy like if she wanted to speak to you she would have reached out just forget this girl she's not the one for you and literally 10 days later we had some other friends over and i was telling them about my love story this restaurant and i was like look she still hasn't texted me and i opened our chat and they're like dude there's there's a text there i was like get out of here so i go read the text and i'm laughing while freaking out and I see her text message and it was actually very kind saying like, hey, but let's still be friends.

1:22:36The Gstaad Guy:Like something to basically like not lose everything entirely. She wasn't ready to lose me entirely out of her life. I guess there was some level of uncertainty about do I really want to lose this guy? Maybe I'm giving myself credit. But I was laughing and I voice noted her laughing saying, hey, I can't believe, you won't believe this, but I've been waiting for you to text me and I just saw this and I was laughing. And she felt like I was being, like nonchalant. Yeah. And she thought this guy's playing games. He spent 10 days ignoring me. He must have been so busy with other girls. Yeah. And now he's voice-noring me laughing and apparently I drove her crazy and lo and behold I ended up dating her for two years.

1:23:13The Gstaad Guy:Two years. After that. Every time. It worked. The game I played by accident worked and we had a beautiful beautiful relationship. Okay we ended up breaking up but in a very amicable way and it was the most beautiful relationship I could have asked for in the moment as a result of an accidental game I played. So long-winded intro, but I'd love to know how you feel about games. Listen, again, I'm with you. Conceptually, I don't want to play games. I don't advise to play games. But in practice,

1:23:56people generally just are attracted to what they can't have i don't know it's it's it's so toxic of us it is um but it's so human it's so natural it's so inevitable it's inescapable i think i don't think any i don't think any was any one of us ever truly completely rises above this even with all the tools and the self-help books and the therapy i think at the end of the day there's something in us that wants so badly to be loved. And I think everything we do in a way is done with the desire to be loved a little bit more. And I think that even when it comes to these kinds of scenarios, someone can be pretty certain that they're disinterested in you romantically, but just a little bit of distance a little bit of nonchalance as you said a little bit of this game playing sometimes works so that leads us to a conundrum i don't know i should we be doing this then i i don't think we should be ever be doing it so intentionally um because in fact i think to your point i think it worked in part because it was unintentional yeah i think that Of course, you couldn't have possibly known that, someone will say.

1:25:19But I don't know. I believe that it's much harder to successfully play games when they are in fact games. But if you actually are distant, if you actually are moving on, if you actually do archive their chat, and that is why you didn't see it. I think that in those situations there is a greater success rate. I don't know. I guess intention wins. And see, intention always wins because I think that, especially women, I think women can smell it. I think women know when you're playing nonchalant, when you're playing dissenters, when you're playing it cool. I don't think... I'm doing a video on this soon for sure.

1:26:09I think women always know. They just always know. Whatever it is that you think they don't know, they know that you're cheating. Guys, I'm looking at the camera for the first time. They know that you're cheating. They have spider senses. They know that you're cheating. So they know if you're playing a game. They know if you're pretending to be cool. There's no shortcut here. But on the other hand, if you in fact, like our friend here, don't realize they're texting you, that might end up working. So I don't know. So everyone just archive your chats with the girl you really like and see what happens.

1:26:46The Gstaad Guy:Let's talk about these spider senses. My ex and I first broke up and I was seeing other women like a few months later and trying to get back into the swing of things. I would sit down for a date and I would have not heard from her in weeks. And the second I sit down, I get a text. Hey, what's up? Yeah. And I just get this little, you know, that little you're in your heart jumps because you get a text from your ex. 100%. And it was 10 times out of 10. I wouldn't hear from her. When I'm working, I wouldn't hear from her. When I'm hanging out with the boys, I wouldn't hear from her. On a random Wednesday night, the first date in a mandor.

1:27:21The Gstaad Guy:She just texted me. Yeah. They have these spider senses. They do. And with me, that's incredibly debilitating. Because I struggle to move on as is. I'm very bad with this. This is not healthy. but like when i break up with a girl i still have like all of her things and i have like a shrine that that lasts for a very long time so the last thing i need is a message right when i'm about to get a little bit better and move on but lo and behold certainly happens every every time I am in the beginning stages of something new I will more often than not get some kind of sign of life from my most recent ex whoever that will be at that time in life it's incredible and I think that they don't even know that they know I think that they just telepathically and subconsciously get the urge to reach out to us it's crazy and there isn't this like intention oh like I'm going to mess up his date so it's not that level of knowing but it's something deeper and and maybe more sinister i don't know but they just know it without knowing and they reach out to you and they mess up like whoever i am starting to date immediately after an ex it's not gonna work out it's not gonna it's it's it's gotta be at least like two or three or four i completely the first one has There's no shot.

1:28:50No shot. There's no shot. They could be the... In fact, to this day, I had a wonderful girl after I dated one of my most significant exes. And to this day, I acknowledge that in any other time or circumstance, man, that girl would have been a model wife, a model mother. Mother of your kids. Beautiful person. Sure enough, life has worked out for her very, very well. that's another thing if you date me consistently the next person that you date you're either marrying or having children with like i am i have 100 batting average i'm 100 from the field in free throws of dating you and then you marry or or get impregnant with the next guy and i'm and you can say oh well it's easy for you to say you're 38 years old so you're dating older no no even someone I dated in my 20s the next guy is the guy she married um so that's another that's another thing that has to do with the conversation but but to the original point um I I find it very very hard to get into a new relationship with the very next person that I date so I feel bad for that person they don't know that they're just a buffer but some people can do this and people some people jump from serious relations to serious relationship and i don't know that needs to be studied i think there's something to that yeah but whole different thing i can't i can't do it i go through this very long grieving process and and rebuilding and and a part of me loves loves those significant partners forever yeah i mean you know there's there's there's there's another line in loving loving the time of color that i love you can see how much i love this book where he says where the main character gets mad at himself at one point because he realizes how he can harbor love in his heart for more than one person at the same time.

1:30:48And he angrily says, my heart has more rooms than a whorehouse, which is this beautifully profound and profane image. But I think that we're all like that. People want to believe that they can only hold space for one person or one feeling. And I think the reality is that we're incredibly complex people. And I think that I think it's really unfair when people want out of a sense of ego to know that you have no feelings whatsoever anymore for anybody else who ever existed before me. That's childish. I mean, maybe when I was 20, I wanted my girlfriend to not even look another man's way or or have any soft spot in her heart for somebody else.

1:31:35That's unrealistic. I mean, the reality is that, and I think you should, I think, especially if the relationship was good and if it formed you and if these people gave something to you that mattered, you shared a piece of life together. You only live once. So to eviscerate your past or deny its importance, you think you're doing something to them, but you're really doing a disservice to yourself because you're eliminating a part of your life, of your story.

1:32:08The Gstaad Guy:And I think this is particularly true in the nuance. I think, as you said, if you can't generalize, you can't say anything. And people in the comments will say, what if my ex cheated on me and I had an abusive ex? In those scenarios, forget and bury that relationship as works for you. But in a situation where there's no reason for animosity, acknowledge the love you had and still have for that person. It's beautiful to remember. I think it is ugly to forget. I agree. I think it's beautiful to remember. Do you think people can still be in touch with the rexes? That's a whole other conversation now.

1:32:47so i would say generally no i would say generally no the content the contact has to be minimal it has to be the the the formalistic uh kind of you know just the birthday text and the christmas text if you're you know or yom kippur i don't know uh it has to be the the holiday message the and the birthday message at most, you can't then like engage in long conversations. I don't know. I think that's where it gets tricky. I think to remember someone fondly is one thing, but to still give them active space in your life, I think is dangerous, especially because of the fact that there are feelings. They may be resolved and they may be over and they may have children and you may, but you still, you shared a piece of life together.

1:33:42A part of them belongs to you and you to them. And so I think it's potentially disrespectful to your current partner to still engage with them in too personal a fashion. What if you're both single? If you're both single? Yeah. Then you should just get together. I love when people reconnect. You know what's funny? People always in their real life forbid or they look at it as taboo when people get back together. Like in Italian, there's this saying, you know, that like when you reheat soup, it's not as good. Minestrone riscaldato. But yet, we love a movie where they get back together. We love a song or a book where they get back together.

1:34:39We love reunions in art and in our entertainment. We love what we would call toxic in our real life. And I don't know. I try to be more consistent. And so I say, getting back with your ex is not always such a terrible thing.

1:34:58The Gstaad Guy:I really do agree. I think it can be quite beautiful. I think it could be a beautiful redemption story. Or even just a nice moment. I don't think, as long as you're on the same page, as long as you're transparent, as the underlying truth here. but I think it can also just be a nice shared moment to have a taste of the past with someone yeah that you guys hang out and catch up and 100 yeah oh so you're talking about even even just just hanging out not necessarily not necessarily getting back together so that I would say 100 if it's that there's nothing wrong if you're both single I would highly suggest that at some point when you've healed and everyone is generally okay.

1:35:46I'm a strong believer in reuniting again, even just for a coffee, for a dinner. Not necessarily getting back together, but I think it's because it's beautiful to come back to the relationship with the passage of time, with everything that you've learned, with everything that... And I think everyone returns to that reunion with such a grace. I really agree. No one is ever mad at each other. Again, we're excluding. Usually it's, I'm not going to say usually. Every single time I've ever done it, it's been beautiful. Every time I've reconnected with a past love, even if it's just for a conversation, when we're both single, not behind your girlfriend's back, is a beautiful thing.

1:36:33It's a wonderful thing.

1:36:34The Gstaad Guy:I agree. Comes with some level of self-reflection, those things you wanted to apologize for that you didn't get a chance to when we were together you might let them out there. And you know what it is too, it's because another line that I love from film I forget which, they'll forgive me, is that the reason people marry, and you could just make it more general, the reason why we love and get into relationships is not because we don't want to be alone, it's not because we just love them so much although it's also for that but i think predominantly it's that we want to have a witness to our life yeah and i think that's beautiful first of all i think it's so true you want to you want someone to know that you're here what we fear most is oblivion so i again i'm always quoting something but but there's a line that i love in an italian american classic Moonstruck.

1:37:32Shout out to Cher. Big crush in my earlier days. Now she's, I don't know, 75. But I'm sure she's still lovely. Cher, if you're out there. But in Moonstruck, the mother goes around asking men throughout the movie, why do men want to be with more than one woman? And she gets all kind of unsatisfying answers. And finally at the end someone says, it's because they fear death. And she goes, that's it. And I'm not saying that I'm not justifying cheating. I'm just saying that everything we do is moved by a simultaneous fear of oblivion. we occasionally are hit with the subconscious awareness because if you're conscious of this you would explode you can't function but the subconscious awareness that I'm not going to be here someday and the desire to be seen and remembered and so that's why really we want partnership is because we want a witness to our life we want someone to be there and share life with us and be aware that we're here and potentially remember us when we're gone.

1:38:44And I think that's another great reason for reconnecting with someone because it's an opportunity to reconnect with one of the very few witnesses to your life. There's only so many people you're going to share your life that intimately with in a lifetime. And so to still have a good relationship with them, even if it just means an occasional, hey, how you doing? Or if it's possible even to see each other and have a coffee and have a conversation now that you're outside of that moment and you can look at it together that way. I think that's the stuff that makes life beautiful. I mean, those are the most beautiful moments in life.

1:39:20It's the moments where you can reconnect with one of your few witnesses.

1:39:26The Gstaad Guy:I think nostalgia is such a huge driver of our happiness. I forgot where I saw this. I don't read as much as you, so most of the things I reference are things I've seen versus read. But I think I saw somewhere, it might have been Simon Sinek. He said, until you're 20, you search for moments in the desire of curiosity. And after 20, you look for moments with a desire of nostalgia. Yeah. To relive feelings and to relive conversations and to relive moments. And that goes back to what you were saying about men with our friends that we haven't seen for six years and it's like old times. I could see my roommate from college.

1:40:16The Gstaad Guy:I haven't seen him in 10 years. But when we hang out, we will bond over nostalgia and bond over reliving those emotions we felt together. And it's such a beautiful thing to see your ex again and not necessarily to be in the same position you were in, but just to remember those moments and share gratitude for those moments. Absolutely. I mean, I have been a victim of nostalgia since I was a little boy. I've been obsessed with nostalgia all my life. I felt old when I was 12 and I'm always remembering the past. I'm always dwelling in the past, which again these sound like negative things to do um but the past is never really dead again i'm sorry william faulkner i can't i can't i can't just say something pretend i said you're very poetic no i'm not i'm not i love it i'm a reader i'm just or i was anyway but william faulkner said the past is never dead it's it's it's not even past and so i i think that so often people say these one-liners like, oh, stop living in the past.

1:41:27And I think it's just, this is not true. You can't escape the past. I mean, we, we, we, we are constantly a product of everything else that came before us. And so, and that's what, and that's really what I set out to do. I mean, that's, that's what, that's what these emails were about. It was to, it was to remember. That's what the book now is about. It's to remember it's, it's, it's the obsession with remembering, with not allowing my story to die. And I think that that's the strongest sense of nostalgia. It really is. It's a rebellion. It's a refusal to let the past be past because it's your past.

1:42:07It's the only past you're ever going to get. And so I highly recommend thinking about the past, romanticizing your life. Because I think that if you do that, it's not detrimental to your present and your future. I think it helps you because when you're obsessively romantic and nostalgic, it's also something that pushes you to make your current moment memorable. Because you're already preparing yourself for the next nostalgia. You want your life to be as memorable as possible. And I think that part of making the present beautiful is to beautify the past.

1:42:51The Gstaad Guy:I think most of social media is filled with creators, or lots of social media is filled with creators who don't have much to say and say a lot of it. And I think you have a lot to say and you say a few things. So I'm here to call it out on this podcast, but you are going to have an incredible career online, on podcasts, in writing. You have so many amazing thoughts. And I think your Instagram account is just a very, very small flashlight into that. I think there's so much more to come. I think you're going to be one of the most desired podcast guests to tell these stories. and I can't wait to see what mediums you story tell in and you share your opinion in because it's a very valuable opinion I find that's amazing I appreciate that thank you for those compliments at the end of the day I would advise people on that point to just say what you believe say it simply say it true and use small words and use the language of everyday people you'll find that whatever comes out of your mouth is more honest.

1:44:03I agree.

1:44:04The Gstaad Guy:Fully aligned. Well, on this podcast, we always play a brief game of à la poubelle versus fantastique. À la poubelle in French means to the trash. And fantastique are things that we celebrate, things we love. Excuse my accent when I say it. It's going to sound Italian, probably. It's even better. It's perfect. What are things that you find to be à la poubelle and things you find to be fantastique? I know we've basically been playing this game for two hours. Yeah, we were. But quick rapid fire, like, these four or five things, people should change à la poubelle. These things are great. People should do more of.

1:44:39The Gstaad Guy:And they are fantastique. Wow. I fear that this might be just a regurgitation of the entire podcast. You're right. I think we've been playing this game all day. That's in touch. It's like a little summary. I would say that trying to be something that you're not is, of course, à la poubelle. À la poubelle.

1:45:04whereas being who you really are being honest being true is fantastic is fantastico fantastico i love that listen i am by no means a fashion icon i wear my white t-shirt in my car all times i dressed it up a little bit today because i wanted to show my other side and I'm also Italian. So I would say certainly. Sandals. On men in public, unless you are going to enter a body of water very, very quickly thereafter, it can't even be you can't be dwelling in them for too long, even at the beach. Just take them off at that point. Just be just be barefoot at the beach. But if you have the sandals on the that's a problem.

1:45:53So sandals on men in public, à la poubelle, all day long. I agree. Aligned. And a simple white t-shirt. Fantastique, fantastique.

1:46:05The Gstaad Guy:You know, my mom told me this growing up, but you could be wearing the simplest item that's well cared for and ironed or the nicest piece that has some wrinkles on it or little schmutz. 100%. A white t-shirt that's a crispy white t-shirt. You could have bought it for$2. It just goes a really long way. And to that point, what that is, is that it's the business of caring that we've lost. People don't care. If you don't care, first of all, I don't believe you. I mean, you don't care about anything. But not caring, pretending you don't care, a la pubelle, all the way, spazzatura, in the trash, immediately.

1:46:49caring deeply being intentional being genuine desiring wanting putting all your effort into something fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic

1:47:04The Gstaad Guy:thank you so much for taking the time today thank you I really really enjoyed this this is a lot of fun I can't wait to see all the amazing things you continue to do from your car and outside of your car I think you're going to have a presence on stage soon. Wow. I see that for you. Let's see how it goes and see how it goes. Thank you so much for taking your time and hope to see you very soon. Thanks a lot. Thank you, Davide. And make sure to listen to Davide's book. The Letters I Never Sent. The Letters I Never Sent. Yeah. Davide De Piero. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Stade Guy podcast.

1:47:37The Gstaad Guy:If you're keen to learn more, please follow along by engaging with our social channels on Instagram, TikTok, Spotify, YouTube, and Apple podcast. and we look forward to seeing you next week. Merci beaucoup. À la prochaine and a big hug from the Start Guy. Some follow the noise. Bloomberg follows the money. Whether it's the funds fueling AI or crypto's trillion dollar swings, there's a money side to every story. Get the money side of the story. Subscribe now at Bloomberg.com. Did you know if your windows are bare, indoor temperatures can go up 20 degrees? Get ahead of summer with custom window treatments like solar roller shades from Blinds.com and save up to 45 % off during the Memorial Day Early Access Sale.

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