Guest-Interviews-Host (Special): Alex Ikonn & The Gstaad Guy discuss Love, Success, and What Matters

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0:59The Gstaad Guy:A lot of my friends say, oh, I can't find someone who's value aligned. And I try to unpack their values and try to help them understand that that's a consequence of the environments they put themselves in. Mr. Stock Guy, welcome to the Intelligence Change Podcast. Thank you so much, Alex. The most successful people, the most charismatic, the best families, whatever you want to call it. They're private. Everyone's purpose in life is problem solving until they no longer have to solve a problem. What's the deal with all the rich old dudes on yachts and jets trying to just get the models? I don't know.

1:27The Gstaad Guy:I can't speak for them. What I can't say, those are ****. You know, I grew up poor, as you know, and then I met all these needs and I've done it. And then I even got, you know, the car, the money, the relationship even. And then you realize, what's the point of it all? The most important thing to do when people have a dream is to try and convert that dream into ****. Mr. Stock Guy, welcome to the Intelligent Change Podcast. Thank you so much, Alex. It's so good to sit down and have this chat. It is for me too. I love sitting down with you, even though we usually walk together, which is refreshing because we're the same height.

1:59The Gstaad Guy:So we make eye contact. Yeah, I think a lot of people don't understand how tall we are. I don't think they do. Until they meet us. It's true. And then they're like, whoa. Especially when we're side by side, because we balance each other out. We don't look tall because we look the same. Exactly. And I really want to have this conversation on the bench or a walk, but we're here. And in your penthouse or in the peninsula? It's not my penthouse. The peninsula have a beautiful residence's wing in London. Very kindly letting me film here today. The hotel is fully booked. We couldn't get a room. And they very kindly let us use this two-bedroom apartment they currently have on the market.

2:42Well, it'll be a future apartment of yours. I'm sure many properties around on the world. And what I wanna first really ask you about, I've known you, I'll say from the early days of Stahlgeist before, I think probably at the beginning of the Laura Piana and a lot of the deals that was coming up, you're still working at Apple and you had an incredible trajectory. Even the last time I was checking when you came to our Intelligent Change Summit, you had less than a million followers and then like you already jumped more than doubled in that time and has been only about a year or so um but how did this journey really begin for you in terms of actually putting yourself out there because a lot of times even your audience they're very private and i believe you were also from this community that was fairly private so how did you decide to put yourself out there in the way that you do now so initially i was

3:43The Gstaad Guy:just having fun. And I made the first Shtad Guy video repeating a joke that some friends and I had been repeating for years. One of my dearest friends was part of my friend group in college, vacationed in Shtad growing up, and would play into our perception of him for humor. So we always saw him as like this aristocratic English guy who would vacation in Shtad, and he would dial up that character at lunches to entertain us. And as our counter joke, we would dial up the character even more and the absurdity would just get funnier and funnier. And one day he was FaceTiming me, playing his exaggerated version of self, complaining about his masseuse being late to his house in Stade.

4:30The Gstaad Guy:And I countered with a video copying the way he speaks and sent it to his mom. And his mom found it hilarious, forwarded it to her friends, and all these micro friend groups in Stade and in similar communities in Monaco and Aspen and New York, London, started circulating this video until ultimately a month later, someone stopped me on the street and said, hey, you're that guy from that video. I received it on WhatsApp. We don't know what to call you. You were talking about Stade though, so we just call you the Stade guy. and I thought that was a very unique and special feeling because I don't remember many things I see online let alone things I saw a month ago so the fact that this lady remembered my video and it touched her in a way that pushed her to stop me on the street was a very unique thing and this was before short form content was native online this before Instagram reels Vine had just ended Instagram had launched a feature called IGTV TikTok was still Musical.ly So short form was not a thing It wasn't a category But this made me think There's really something here So what was my initial desire To put myself out there It was actually to Service a need That I thought existed I felt like that very kind lady on the street Wanted more videos And I assumed there was more people like her so it wasn't like many creatives a desire for expression which I know many creatives feel they feel like this urgency to hit brush to canvas or to say what's on their mind for me was more oh there's interest here I'll deliver on that interest and just kept following that for a couple of years while living my double life with my work at Apple.

6:26The Gstaad Guy:And then I was able to make it profitable enough to quit my job at Apple and do this full time. Yeah, there's so many questions here because I see you as an entrepreneur. And many people may see like, hey, just started doing this style guy thing. And now you have your own businesses. You have these deals. You're flying around the world, living the life. however you've tried many things before hitting onto stock guy so can you talk about this really iteration of finding something that positions and connects with you but also with the market in a way it's you know it's it's it's not it's not just hitting success right out the gate and you've tried many things before hitting on it so how did you be able to persevere and be able to hit on this success i think there are different types of creatives in the world there are creatives who are very excited by people enjoying their work and there are creatives who like to keep their work to themselves like the people who love to sing in the shower but they get very shy in public i was not the type of person who was singing in the shower and scared to let my talent free I was actually just an entrepreneur looking for a venture that could work.

7:51The Gstaad Guy:And that's why I love creatives and I admire creatives. But I feel much more aligned with an entrepreneur who is just trying over and over again. So I appreciate that you see that. I had tried many startups and many different things. I did the classic sneaker reselling and tried a whole load of things. And I was always waiting for that one thing that could work just a bit for me to run behind. And I think that's what the timing people talk about is and what that luck element is. I think the luck was absolutely there where this video allowed for all this to exist. But I do think as well that I was waiting for that luck to hit me.

8:32The Gstaad Guy:And I was best preparing myself to be able to take that lucky moment and turn it into a business. And I think that's more entrepreneurial than it is creative. because Stadge is not something that I had been waiting to run behind. It's something that I noticed and decided to run behind. However, even in commercializing it, like you're able to quit Apple and do this full time and you're doing way better than you were probably at Apple. There was a time when there wasn't potentially this direct commercialization of your creativity and art and potentially for some time. And I think for a lot of creatives, influencers, people who create content, I would say what people don't know, most of them don't commercialize their art.

9:25so for yourself as you said you are an entrepreneur and how do you then think about um approaching it in terms of like okay i'm doing this i'm creating an audience and even though it may not be profitable now i'll be able to convert it in the future did you think about that as you're building things up or you're just like hey i'm just doing things for fun no i was definitely

9:50The Gstaad Guy:thinking about it because I was hoping for it. I think like many people that have a side hustle or a side passion, they really hope it can turn into their main hustle or main passion. And in my after hours, I was doing everything I could to earn being an entrepreneur. And the reason why I think the word earn is very important here is because I had to adjust my risk tolerance. And I had to de-risk Stadgai enough where it could be my full-time gig. And even though I'm an entrepreneur, I generally reject founder porn online. All these founders and motivational speakers and coaches who say that everyone should quit their job and everyone should try to get rich quick and money solves everything and all these things.

10:43The Gstaad Guy:I think it's a pretty dangerous rhetoric for young people that could force them to take more risk than they can afford to take. and I think we're really lucky to live at the time that we live in because we can hedge risk in a beautiful way. And I think that maybe I could have accomplished more if I quit my job sooner. But I'm really grateful for the time it took me to build up the courage to quit because I learned a lot along the way, and I took my time. And I think that's thanks to my fear of being outside the nest, but also thanks to the incredible mentorship I had of my colleagues, like my colleague Ashna at Apple, who I really am deeply grateful for, who allowed me to succeed at Apple, but also nurture Stadgai.

11:33The Gstaad Guy:And also I love my job. So it helps to not quit when you love your work. How long did it take from you starting Stadgai to you quitting? About two years. I think it's a great timeline, the two years. it took me two years from being fired to then being on employment insurance which is like benefits still hitting on my first success but i will say two years as a as a timeline it's still very optimistic yeah um and that's where i also see people where they're like hey i'm just gonna quit and go after this dream and i often also say like hey like slow your horses so what would be your advice to a lot of people who are in maybe also a great corporate job working at apple or meta you know these are great companies it's not potentially there's some nice benefits to go along with a career and and quitting those careers for the entrepreneurship journey um i think is may not always turn out the way that you'd want it to be so what would be your advice to somebody else right now sitting at Apple with this dream?

12:48The Gstaad Guy:I think the most important thing to do when people have a dream is to try and convert that dream into a clear view of what the desire really is. I read a book early in my time at Apple called Essentialism, which is basically all about channeling energy correctly. And in other words, prioritization. And I think desire has to be prioritized as well. So really pausing and thinking how badly you want that dream and trying to figure out what the costs of that dream could be. And I think a great way to figure that out is to do that quite slowly after hours with your job on weekends, because the last thing you want to do is quit your job, set yourself up for the difficult path of chasing that dream and then realizing that it wasn't worth it.

13:44The Gstaad Guy:Which I think unsuccessful and successful entrepreneurs go through. Many of the successful people I've spoken to, they work very hard, they achieve incredible things for their work, and in hindsight they think, actually that wasn't worth it because I've messed up relationships with family, with loved ones, with friends. And now I have all this money, but none of what matters most, and I can't get it back. So I'm not saying that everyone successful loses their friends and family by any means, but I am saying that everything has a price. And I think understanding what the costs affiliated are is an important part of that exploration.

14:28The Gstaad Guy:And I'm lucky and blessed that I started Shtad Guy and I started becoming an entrepreneur at a pretty young age where the costs excited me actually. And if I had started Shtad Guy 20 years later, I think that would have been a very different decision. For sure. And other ways that I think of you other than an entrepreneur is also a deep thinker and philosopher. Philosopher is huge. I appreciate it. I think I'm just the guy that likes to observe. But the way I see you, I think a lot of people don't know, is that you like your benches. You like your long walks. You love your benches and long walks.

15:11The Gstaad Guy:We do this together. Both of us are actually elderly men disguised. It's true, by the way. And to what you were saying, and now with your own podcast, the ShotGuy podcast, which is great, it's been a pleasure to be a guest, and you've had epic legends that you've interviewed and you spoke on and off record. And I think beyond the Shotguide podcast is I know the people that you spend your time with now. These are global legends, both on your podcast and off the podcast. And as you were saying, with all these conversations that you've had, what matters most in life after having all these conversations and then you absorbing the wisdom that they have shared with you?

16:00The Gstaad Guy:I think the core of my job is observing people and then commenting on my observations. It started off quite comedic. It grew into something a little deeper. And now I actually have conversations about those things with the podcast. But it all starts with that observation. And in my free time, in my personal time, I especially like to observe people that I find have had a successful life. And not just achieved success in their work, which I think is important and beautiful, but that have achieved success in their love lives, in their personal lives, in their family lives. And many of them have a lot in common.

16:40The Gstaad Guy:And the ones that have achieved tremendous success in crazy numbers and in crazy ways often have similar regrets. And that's something I'm really lucky to be exposed to. because I can basically learn from other people's mistakes and other people's wins. And I think our generation is uniquely able to appreciate that and take advantage of that, where we have so much incredible media, so many podcasts with so many warnings and so many lessons that we don't actually have to learn from on our own. We can actually learn on other people's dimes. So the path that I've found to be the most admirable are people who are incredibly balanced.

17:19The Gstaad Guy:I think it's people who... Work hard and achieve great things, but not at the cost of the thing they prioritize most, which is usually their family and their loved ones. So they put that side of their lives first. And I find it hard to believe people who see the world in absolutes and think that they've figured out the formula looking forward in these absolutes of like, if I do this, then this will happen versus a much more nuanced view of, well, I hope this could happen. And the same is true for that in hindsight. And I think that's like nuance is balance and it's understanding that reality exists in this gray area and living in the gray area versus living in the extremes is what I found to be the thing that has worked best for people.

18:15The Gstaad Guy:So not extreme in the way they do business, not extreme in the way that they try to optimize their living, but instead moderate and balanced. So would you say then what matters most to you in life as you perceive it is family and the relationships that you build? I think so. I think that at different phases of life, we have different priorities and with varying degrees of privilege comes different priorities as well. So at some points in my life, my biggest priority was solving specific problems. I'm lucky to have and feel blessed to have solved some of those problems and feel like I can move on to different priorities.

18:54The Gstaad Guy:And I think some people listening today are struggling with, let's say, their student loans or with a health problem or with a relationship that they want to solve. And they can't even think that the luxury of optimizing for financial success or family or fun could even be real because they are trying to fill a void versus build a tower. And I feel blessed that I can prioritize that tower building. And the most important tower to build for me is a balanced family, which of course I know financial success will help. But what I don't want to get wrong is to think that financial success is what builds that versus what just helps that.

19:41The Gstaad Guy:and I'm not willing to put my family's unity at risk for the sake of my financial success. But I am willing to put my financial success at risk for the sake of my family's unity. I think that's the prioritization for me. Yeah, I think you touched on something that a lot of people miss. And as you said, where you're speaking about before about the gray and the extremes is that there are these intangibles that people can't put a value on. You know, when you're measuring financial success, whether that is how much money you have, how many employees you have, how big your company is, there are certain metrics that are tangible that you can actually have.

20:28But something like a marriage, a wife, children, like how do you put a price on that? You really can't. What's the value of that? most of the time actually it's priceless and especially our health which is the the ultimate you know you can go to any billionaire who's struggling with health he'll give anything to live and that's why i often also kind of ask people this question is like if i give you 100 million right now would you be excited you're like yeah for sure but if i told you that that you only have one day to live and you have that 100 million, would you still want it? Of course not. Of course not, right?

21:08So you're basically turning down 100 million to live your life now, which is whatever your situation is where you don't have 100 million and you're actually now really happy with it. And so it's the intangibles that you may not think about that are really important. And so I'm also curious to ask you about in your observation, what does it take to build these priceless things in life like an amazing family to have a supportive partner who's there for you and supports you and is not there for you just because you have a jet but because of your heart how do you earn that i can't speak out of experience

21:56The Gstaad Guy:because i haven't experienced those things yeah so i hope that i do and i hope that i'm on the right path. But what I can speak on is what I've observed. And I can repeat stories I've been told. I think where people start matters a lot. So someone who starts an incredible struggle has a very different path for their family life and with their romantic life because of how much time they can allocate to that relationship and to those things that may matter to them a lot, but they have to work three shifts and work very hard just to put food on the table. So they can't go on all the dates. They can't afford all the dates.

22:36The Gstaad Guy:They can't do all these things. That's one side of the thing. I think my audience in particular, though, relates to a very different type of dating. My audience happens to be generally quite fortunate and generally quite wealthy. And they have a whole different set of problems that they deal with, far less serious problems for the most part. But nevertheless, they have their own issues. And I think that they think the wrong things will make them happy. And they figure out through experience that they had what would make them happy all along. I think that's the story I've heard many times. And they wish that they figured that out sooner.

23:18The Gstaad Guy:And usually the answer is in front of them because they heard it from their parent or from a grandparent, from a friend. But they ignore it a bit too long. So what are those cliche advice and tips that they have learned the hard way? I think some things I've heard a lot that I really agree with now is like, date your best friend instead of dating someone you're necessarily romantically attracted to. Because the romance comes and goes, the attraction comes and goes, but the friendship lasts forever. And you ultimately want to be your truest form of self with your partner. and when you're romantically attracted to someone first, you're never really your truest form of self.

23:59The Gstaad Guy:You're trying to instead perform as your best form of self or even as the form of self that you think that I like the most. So a lot of it's fake, actually. But a friend being the closest thing to family usually knows you for who you are. And I think that's a great foundation for romance in a relationship. so what's the deal with all the rich old dudes on yachts and jets trying to just get the models i don't know i can't speak for them what i can say those most of those guys that i've spoken to are not very happy i think they feel pleasure for an hour at a time but i think they don't enjoy the dinners with those partners that they don't have a real connection with and they're replacing things very quickly and very often.

24:47The Gstaad Guy:And they're usually very anxious. People that are very fickle in the ways they experience things, in the ways they love, always replacing instead of fixing. I think they're happy in short bursts, but they're generally unhappy. The people that I've met this seem generally happy and content, usually have some family unity that they've been able to create with very solid and genuine foundations, usually by really indexing on character when they choose their partners and values versus indexing on looks and fun. I think this is why I'm doubling down on when you said date your best friend, because what you see sometimes in society is something else.

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25:35The Gstaad Guy:Kubeil, bringing you interchangeable charm jewelry hand-painted with enamel on sterling silver, allowing you to celebrate all the things you love and all the things you might question through interchangeable styling silver bracelets, bangles, whoop, charms, mini charm, bracelets, rings, cufflings and much more. And all customizable through our 3D builder on poubelle.com. That is poubelle.com. Thank you so much for watching, and now back to the podcast so much of what you do is about also storytelling and communication and social media has to do with these expectations that we all have now for looks or relationships so what effect do you think it now has on people because the values that are being communicated online are not what we're speaking about here most of the time, right?

26:41It's fast, quick, transactional. So how do you think that is affecting people and their choices, even to the point of also having people who are in potentially beautiful relationships with beautiful, great partners who decide to leave because they think, well, it can be even better and shinier. So what effect do you think social media right now has on the expectation of partnerships and relationships as well?

27:10The Gstaad Guy:I think it's very sad that it actually has a huge effect. I think social media has a massive negative effect on the general public's love lives. I know very few people that can say it's had a positive effect on their love life. I don't think I've heard anyone say, oh, social media has really helped my relationship. Maybe staying in touch with someone that you end up somehow sparking love with, but generally I think it's actually quite damaging. On the bright side though, I think people realize that. And I think noticing this is the first step. I think people are more conscious of their screen time.

27:46The Gstaad Guy:They're more conscious of the media they consume. People are curating their news feeds more than ever. They're asking their settings to not show them particular content. They're unfollowing content creators they're not value aligned with. they're listening to long form media like this podcast that is aligned with their values or with a set of future values they'd like to be more aligned with maybe they're not aligned with them yet so yes social media has been damaging but I think it has also given people access to really positive messaging that they want to be more exposed to and I think young women in particular really love conversations like these on my podcast it's 40 % male about 60 % female now but I see my male demographic growing massively on topics like these and and they're curious I think that it's something everyone wants to learn about at some point in their life I think everyone's on a journey at a different pace and I speak generally when I say everyone I think eventually everyone wants to hear and to have this conversation.

28:55The earlier you digest what truly matters to you,

29:00The Gstaad Guy:the better off you likely are. But then again, everyone's on their own timeline. You speak of the positives that may be there. I think most people are not watching their screen time or really guiding their algorithm to that awareness. They kind of just get swamped into something. And which brings me to the other thing I would love to kind of chat to you about, which is culture and how culture is created. And where before it was the magazines or maybe the big broadcast media that was controlling it, where now individuals like you or me can to some extent affect culture. um let's say even us with intelligent change before intelligent change no one would publicly say hey i'm doing a gratitude journal that was not a thing uh and same thing with the thing that you're speaking about you've actually brought a lot of light to this different culture of the point even zero one percent it's not even one percent i think your communication is quite elite, but there's still certain culture and values that are communicated there.

30:19Also at a time in society where, yes, there's a big divide of wealth, and yet there's a huge amount of new millionaires that are being printed, especially whether it be in the US or Middle East or Asia, not so much in the uk so i'm curious about your viewpoint on how even you affect culture how do we create culture how do we create a narrative that we all want to be part of because i think even in following your journey and your recent messaging you're also communicating differently and different values that you're trying to communicate so i think in order to