Steve Varsano: Founder of The Jet Business – Aviation, Entrepreneurship, Corporate Jets, & The Art of the Deal

29:45How can we help the audience who have not built a reputation for themselves yet still go for that first approach and still talk about what they do without coming off as these slimy salesmen trying to mooch off the person they're meeting? so great question and i'm as i told you before i'm doing a commencement speech at university and one of the things in my speech is talking about people having to build their own personal brand okay people think of brands like you know google or you know apple or these kind of things but actually people are brands and you okay you people buy puber bracelets okay not only because they think they're cool because they're cool because you are wearing them and you're producing them and it stands for you is if they just were sold by somebody else it doesn't have the same meaning as you know you so you you stand for something okay you are a brand and when people think of you or see you you are already profiled everybody is profiled and I tell people that I'm telling him at this at the school graduation your brand I mean you've branded your professors your parents your friends everybody is branded and when you're graduating from university you have to now the next day you have to recreate your personal brand and you have to completely forget about everything who you were from that day back it's not that you know you're not trying to find the best friend who's going to be the most fun to go on spring break and party like crazy.

31:29So that's really, you have to be your true person. What do you want people to think of you when they hear your name in five or 10 years from now? And you have to sincerely be that person from that next day after you graduate and you're going into the work world. So building your own personal brand is so much more important than the brand you're going to be working for. and um and the other thing is is you know you have to do what you say you're going to do and you got to deliver it when you said you're going to deliver it uh you know don't be known for making excuses you know be known for being reliable and uh and that is that really you know if you can do that people will want to do business with you they'll want to be friends with you they'll want to hang with you and and it has to be sincerely you know deep down that's what you have to believe i mean you have to be a good person and you know you can't just you can't fake you know you can you can't buy it and you can't fake um energy yeah for sure and not for any length of time at least i agree i think you can't fake the energy but i do think that fake it till you make it in a way where you act in a way that's unnatural to you can make you become that and what I mean by that on my side is in many ways Stad Guy and my fictional personas online Constance and Colton have some of the worst attributes of things I may have seen and noticed but also some of the best and when I was coining and developing these characters I would think about who is the Stad Guy and the Stad Guy is this incredibly successful kind spender right everything is abundant he enjoys life He enjoys being generous, but he's also incredibly kind.

33:17He's a man of his word. He embodies these Swiss values. And everything I put out over the years that would come would have to fit into that commitment I made to the character. And I think in real life, I probably have made commitments to myself and the best version of myself that I want to be. So when I walk into a room and I meet someone like you, who do I want to be and how do I want you to perceive me? and that's trustworthy, friendly, kind. And I make a commitment to the perception, which may seem like I'm pretending because, you know? No, no, no, no. You have to be a chameleon in life and in business.

33:58A hundred percent. It's not being fake. It's how do I connect with this person the best? You're a hundred percent right. You know, you need to do that. You can't be stuck up. You can't be, I know everything. I mean, listen, every person I do business with, they're much more successful, more richer, you know, but I'm probably happier than they are. And I'm not trying to dumb myself down or try to be somebody I'm not. I'm trying to connect with the person because in my world, you know, sometimes we deal with the chairman, CEO, sometimes it's with the assistant, sometimes the pilot, the mechanic, the wife, the lawyer, the accountant.

34:34And each person, you really, you have to listen, listen, listen, and then adapt yourself how you respond. And by doing that, you're not changing your personality, but changing your delivery. And I'm telling you, when I watch your stuff on social media, I mean, some of it, of course, is very funny. But really, I think it's so educational from the standpoint of how people should act properly. And, you know, all the times I watch it, how the hell did he bring that out in such a way? I mean, really, I mean, I love it. I mean, there's really some stuff that is so true. And you're doing it through, you know, an ironic kind of a twist.

35:22But it's really giving a message to people that, really, I should act like that. I should treat this, you know, boy or girl that way or my boss that way or what's right, what's wrong. and I should have my nose up here. Really, there's so much good material you have that it's supposed to be in a little funny way, but the message behind it, I love the stuff. Thank you. It means a lot. And it tells people, people should pay attention, and hopefully they are, that they're learning stuff in a funny way. Thank you. I appreciate it.

36:03all the things you love and all the things you may question on interchangeable charm jewelry that can be combined to create bracelets, necklaces, handbag accessoires, and much more. From iced matcha and reformer pilates to sauna buckets and a pair of skis, all the things you love and even the things you question can be expressed through Poubelle. A lot of the inspiration comes from growing up in a city like London and meeting loads of different types of people. I have people that inspire me and people that don't inspire me that I meet. And the jokes come from the people that maybe don't inspire me and that are doing things that don't necessarily align with.

36:49And the people that do inspire me and they act a certain way that I admire, that goes into my tips and lessons and how I want to improve as a person. I know you and I are in very different worlds at our day jobs but I am blessed and grateful to have grown up in a very similar world to you you're a dear friend of my parents and I grew up in a lot of these similar rooms and there's a lot of those very different figures in a lot of these rooms and a lot of those different figures are often your customers that you've dealt with the most charming and the least charming the most polite and the least polite but you're always Steve can you tell us about how you manage those things but also maybe share some funny stories because i know you always have great stories man i you know i what i've seen and the people that i'm around oh my god i mean i really i think you know so many of them i don't know familiar with the jerry springer show you know i mean is the weirdest of the weirdest i mean you know there's some crazy people out there i mean i don't know how many people i know who've been arrested in jail and you know got killed or something it's amazing in this world you know the stories you hear um but they're interesting people and and you know you learn so much i was like i said before i was brought up with nothing you know and i've been working with some young kids so you know i appreciate you know uh people who were successful and succeed especially ones on their own.

38:14And, um, and I just sort of, I don't need to be the, um, cause all the people I deal with are all big egos or wealthy or successful or powerful. And I don't mind being in the shadow. I don't care. I mean, I'm not trying to, you know, be the, the, the biggest spark, you know, in the room. And so I just, I take it in and I listen and I learn and, and I don't need, you know, I don't, You know, ego is one of the worst traits of a human being. And I don't really think I have an ego. And that's why, you know, me and Lisa for 15 years, we've never had one argument because it's all about ego. And some of the people we deal with, some of them are really terrible people, really terrible people.

39:01But for the most part, they're pretty cool and they're pretty nice. It's a completely different story. everybody's tough everyone wants to negotiate but you got to take that it's not personal and sometimes they're doing it just for sport yeah um but they all have their stories and you have to figure out their stories to connect but i'm i mean there's you know i mean whether it's in their company or in their relationships or in their families or wow there's just uh if i ever wrote a book i'd i'd have to move to the moon so i didn't get you know shot it's so good when i when i was in college i took a negotiations class which i think was the most impactful class i i took and long story short what the course taught us over the course of a whole semester was how to say no the least amount of times possible so you can say no for the things that matter most to you.

39:55So you only concede on the things that are your priorities and the rest, they think you're just so agreeable. You're so pleasant. You're like anything you need, of course, done, done, done. But price, you need to work with me here. I've made all these other things happen for you. You need to work with me here. And that all happens with the smile and energy and positive friendly demeanor along the process. This is something that to me is a science that I kind of studied, but to you is second nature and is an art, right? It's just become such a big part of who you are. Can you tell us a bit about those conversations and that dynamic and how you manage to get a win-win feeling, even though it may not be a win-win on paper?

40:37You always want to ideally... And you can't ever, ever think you're going to win every point, okay? And you have to leave something on the table for the other side or it's a very distasteful negotiation. But when you're talking to people and you're negotiating with them, of course, price is always an issue. But again, sometimes, you know, listen, I've been doing this for 40 something years. And there's never one. And I tell this to people. Whenever you, when they say, well, how much is that airplane? Okay. Or what's your fee? And you tell them. You could tell them tomato soup. You could tell them a billion, a hundred dollars or nothing.

41:18The instant response is, wow, that sounds high. okay i mean it's been 40 something nobody has i'm just still waiting for that one person to say that's all yeah it still hasn't happened take more so you know if you ask you know for five they say no man it should be three you know if you ask one it should be a half it that's just human nature and um and but when you deliver the the the price or whatever it is it has to be with knowledge and confidence that this is what it is not be wishy-washy you know i mean i used to love when i used to see houses in california where they marketed for sale in the in the magazines newspaper you know looking for offers between 4.2 and 4.6 million who's offering the 4.5 i mean really i mean i didn't get that and you know first of all nobody sort of 4.6 they saw 4.2 and now how much am i going to negotiate from there and it's the same kind of thing when you're talking with people in business you know how much is that airplane uh well it's you know it's 17.5 million and uh and so and let me tell you about something else you know if you say you know i know 17.5 i know it's high but you can't say that i mean first of all if it is high okay then you're trying to push something that's you know out of the market but it's a delivery and if you're knowledgeable in what you're doing in your industry you know you say listen actually it sounds high but the fact of the matter is it it has this kind of equipment options it's this kind of pedigree there is a justification for it but it depends you know if you don't put that value on this then maybe you want to get an airplane like this it might be a little cheaper but you know there's there's value set in different you know categories so you just really need to know your product and and the price quite frankly sometimes i tell them are you really you're going to be flying your executives yourself your family in these airplanes are you really trying to find the cheapest deal i mean would you ever think of going to find the cheapest sushi restaurant i mean really i mean it doesn't make sense right cheap sushi i mean are you kidding me it's the same kind of thing a corporate jet cheap i mean I don't understand why why would you think that way and uh and the same thing with fees you know I mean I'm not apologizing for my fee I mean I am working for you I'm negotiating I'm doing so much for you not just finding an airplane there's a 15 steps that I have to do so it's it's really you know your confidence in what you're doing and justification and thank goodness now I we have enough deal flow like if you don't think I'm worth that fine go find the person who has a cell phone and is working out of his house with the kids screaming in the back and you get it much cheaper.

44:08Be my guest.

44:12How important is optionality in the art of deal closing for you? Because I've sat in the showroom and watched you show options on this amazing screen. And I've been here with three or four potential customers and friends having a good time for the most part. but they come in with an idea of what they want and they leave with an idea of something else. And people often go into a sale or a transaction trying to focus on one thing and they don't have those other options handy. And I feel like having the other options handy is a huge part of your business. So that's a great question. And usually, you know, this is a very, I don't want to say secretive, but it's not a, people don't know much about this business and the products and what means value and not value.

45:05And a lot of times people who are successful, who are wealthy, who are powerful, they do not ever want to ask a stupid question. They just won't do it. And if you don't ask, if you don't know the right questions, you might think a smart question is a stupid question. And if you don't ask questions, you're never going to get answers. If you don't get answers, you're never going to move forward. So one of our jobs is really, I'm going to, on the video wall, I could show you you don't know what you're talking about. Okay? I would never tell you that, but I could show you. And when you start seeing what I'm taking you through in this whole process, you can be like, wow, I didn't know that.

45:43I didn't know that. And you're going to start saying, wow, this is amazing. I'm starting to see what questions I should be asking. And all of a sudden now they're starting to get empowered and start to now be more confident. and they start getting educated on what the whole subject matter is. And I think that's, you know, there was a clothing store when I was a kid in New York City. And I don't know why. They had this advertising moniker that I've always, always remembered. And the advertising slogan was, an educated consumer is our best customer. And it just always stuck in my head for some reason.

46:18And I think that's the same kind of thing we do here. the more educated I can get you, the more confident you are and knowledgeable about why you're taking that decision. You get empowered to do it yourself. And if that's the case, you'll feel much more comfortable about moving forward and doing the deal. And that's the whole key, I think. So you're not trying to sell somebody. You're trying to educate somebody. I think that's a great position to be in when you are proud of the products you're selling. I think some people out there sell products they may not be proud of so they don't actually want to tell them more.

46:52They want to tell them less because they're trying to. Of course, they're trying to sell you a specific thing. But my idea here is I don't really care what you buy. I just want you to buy from me. So I want to show you everything to educate you, and I'm hoping that whole process builds the rapport between us and you saying, wow, you know what? These guys do know what they're talking about, and I want them representing me either to buy or sell. So, I mean, it's, you know, again, you stand for something. it's a brand that you have and you know like people buy your wine or the brace again it's it's who you are and what they think about when when they have any of your products or or talking about you yeah you're right I read a stat recently that 90 % of the world's wealth was made in the last 10 or 15 years and there's a massive transfer of wealth happening with people inheriting all the money that was made in the 60s to 2000s has that come to light and have you seen that change happening with your customer base?

47:51Is there a younger customer base over the past few years? Well, over the last 20 years, okay, for sure, the average CEO or decision maker of a company that would be buying an airplane used to be in the mid-upper 60s. And today it's mid-upper 40s. It's a drastic change. And in the charter market, it's even younger than that because people are just, through COVID, there was a lot of people who can afford and a lot of companies who can afford and had the need to use corporate jets, but they never thought I should spend this kind of money and everything. They just didn't appreciate the value that the airplanes and the time that you saved gave to them.

48:33And COVID forced a lot of people and companies into using corporate aviation. They started chartering airplanes, buying fractional pieces of airplanes, and it really increased the catch basin of users. So there's a term, a rising tide raises all boats. So all these people came into the market. Of course, they didn't all stay, but I think maybe 30 % of the people who came during COVID stuck. And there were a lot of younger people in there. And whether it's a transfer of wealth that you're saying from different generation, or there's been a lot of people who have actually made money in technology and things like that today or just in trading stocks or in COVID, doing some other, starting their own business just on a web.

49:20And those people now are getting into corporate aviation. It's becoming a little bit more normal than it used to be for sure. Fine. And are most of those customers coming in in the entry-level category of the planes or in the big boy? No. The big boy. That's funny because in the old days, you used to start with a twin-engine airplane in the corporate world. You move up to a turboprop and then a little small jet and then you get to a middle-sized jet. Now, people just come out of nowhere. I'm talking 25%, 30 % of the customer base is first-time buyers and they just go right to the top of the food chain.

49:58It's shocking to see that. and uh and some of them say well maybe i should take a baby step and uh you know to get my feet wet and i said fine you know that's great but don't get something that's not going to do the job you need maybe get something older you know and smaller but make sure it can at least do the trip you need to do non-stop because that's the worst thing when you have to stop stop and and you know it doesn't make any sense to have a corporate plane do you think that that's in part due to commercial travel becoming better as well? Well, quite honestly, if you're based out of the Middle East, you know, they have some incredibly great quality amenities to get on a plane, get off a plane, the suites, private rooms, and all this kind of stuff.

50:46And they've made that experience pretty nice. And but you know, in Europe and America, the maybe the quality of commercial airlines is not as good in the experience getting through security and immigration and baggage and all that kind of stuff, it takes a lot of time. And if you're a busy person, the only way, everybody says you can't buy time, but you actually can. With a corporate jet, you can buy time. And the typical jet, which is flying 400 hours a year, to give you an example, 400 hours a year, people flying on the airlines, this platinum level, the top level of 100 ,000 miles, that's about 200 hours a year on an airliner.

51:26So the corporate jets go faster and they go higher. But anyway, so typical corporate jets are about 400 hours a year. But if you were to take even 100 ,000 miles or 200 hours of flying, a person as a CEO of a company can actually increase the number of days a year by 33 days. Now, if you have a person who's really running a company with thousands of employees and it's a fast-moving business, 33 days extra of a corporate executive or his team is an amazing amazing you know intangible value you're adding and that doesn't even include how much you could work while you're on the airplane which you really can't do on the commercial airlines you can bring other people from your company you can get home overnight so you have less days away none of that's even included so you really can buy time yeah i love that because of social media maybe i'm partly responsible with my music video that is still my proudest piece of work, commercial flight that I filmed in here.

52:26I love that song. It's my favorite. Thank you. I appreciate it. But through social media, private travel has become this thing that seems, and I emphasis on the word seems, more accessible. And this word billionaire now gets thrown around on anyone who can afford a luxury style of living, which of course is nowhere near the case. I'd love to talk about the difference and the floor of private travel. At what point can someone, sorry, corporate travel, at what point can someone fly on a corporate jet? And what is the spread like until the kind of max level that you've seen? What's entry and what's max?

53:13Yeah. First of all, you're right. The term billionaire is so stupid. I mean, they make these people look like all they do is go out and party and have fun and are on vacation all the time and these guys people that are billionaires they are working around the clock they are not doing what is shown on social media some of their kids are yeah some of the kids are you're right yeah they're having a good life 100 um you know that that lucky sperm club i wish i was I was in that club.

53:48But it's funny. I mean, the work ethic of most of those people, okay, is the airplanes is just a piece of transportation. And it's not a luxury. The only luxury the corporate jets are is just the luxury of convenience and of time. And it's not, you know, this is a nice big airplane we're sitting in right here. But the fact of the matter is most corporate jets are sitting inside a Viano. You can't stand up. There's a little toilet that you close a curtain. You only go if you really have to. It's a typical of an hour and a half flight. This is not normal. As a matter of fact, we're wearing right here.

54:31There's only about 250 of these in the world, and half of those are owned by heads of state. So it's a very tiny, tiny collection of people. And they're not drinking champagne and eating caviar the whole time? No, no, no. And they always say they're always pouring people champagne. I don't know any CEO or billionaire that gets on the airplane, the first thing they do is have champagne. I mean, first of all, they're smart enough to know that alcohol and altitude is a terrible combination. They want to get for peace and quiet. They want to sleep. They want to read. They want to do a business. That is just not, like you said, maybe the kids do it.

55:07I don't know. But it's not, the perception is not reality. And at what point do you think, financially, income-wise, can someone make the transition from commercial, or should someone make the transition from commercial travel to corporate travel? So first, it's not, can you afford? Of course it's, can you afford? Do you have the need? Because there's two reasons you're flying. corporate. You're doing it because you need to and you need to be certain places in a certain amount of time and you can't do it through commercial airlines. And the other times, of course, you want to. And people, let's say during holidays and they have to make connections and they have kids and they have strollers and luggage and everything like that.

55:57It's hard to travel around. So from a personal trip, that makes a lot of sense. Is it expensive? Of course it's expensive. It's a lot more expensive than flying on a commercial airliner. But there's a sort of a point to where you just sort of say, what's the price of quality of life? From a business standpoint, there's so many more companies that can afford it. And they might think that the image of flying on a corporate jet is negative, but it actually isn't. It's the opposite. It's positive. If people know you're flying in to meet them on a corporate jet, the image of you're successful, You know, you really, your time is something of importance to you.

56:38You got to come in. I'm doing my meeting with you. I got to go out. I just got to keep going. Furthermore, when you're having negotiations, let's say, and you're working all day negotiating with people, and these people know that you have an 8 p.m. flight, and it's now 5 o 'clock, they know they're just going to drag you out, and you are going to give in to a lot of things because you got to go catch a flight. If you're on your own corporate jet, And the guy said, you know what? Hold on one second. You call your pilot. Listen, we're going to be a few hours more. I'll call you when we're ready.

57:09I'm not sure if we're going to go tonight or tomorrow and hang up. Just that message sends that message to the other side like, okay, these guys are really going to hold out here. So that kind of stuff. And in the business world, there's the convenience of, you might have five places you need to go this month. If you're in Europe, let's say you might have to go to Lyon, France, and you have to go to Amsterdam and you have to go to Barcelona. And let's say you're in a real estate business. You want to go look at all these different locations. The fact of the matter is if you're flying commercially, you'd say, you know what, I don't have time to do that all this month.

57:46Forget it. I'm not going to go on it. Or if you have a corporate jet, in one or two days, boom, boom, boom, boom, you go through it and you get down. That one trip extra that you're going to do could pay for the whole airplane, for the whole year or even buying the airplane. So the loss of opportunity is really the intangible value of a corporate jet. So when they say at what point, if you have the need for it, you can find a way to justify the cost because I think it will pay for itself multiple times. And rent versus buy. So I usually tell people if you're not flying at least 150 or 200 hours a year, you should definitely not own an airplane.

58:25You should either rent or buy a fraction. and um you know renting if you're flying a few hours here and there okay rent if you need you know 50 hours 100 hours something like that go buy a fraction of an airplane and sometimes they say that um uh you know the fraction might be a little bit more expensive but they don't look at the fact that it's only the time you're on the airplane when you charter or rent an airplane they're going to charge you to bring the airplane and and relocate it and all that kind of stuff and you don't know what airplane you're going to get the fractional actually makes more sense because you know the asset you're getting.

58:59It's a certain age. It's a specific airplane model. And you own a share of that pool. And the consistency of price is there. It doesn't change. So during COVID, anybody had a fractional piece. They would just sit and chill. They could rely on airplanes. And people trying to rent the plane were getting double, triple charged for an airplane that was 25 years old. so you know if you don't fly more than 150 200 hours a year you know just go ahead and get a fraction or something and of course it's cheaper but but the logistically it just makes more sense i have a list of corporate travel etiquette that i'd love to run by you let's see if it's approved by steve varsano one when getting on board take the worst seat you can find 100 don't take the best seat.

59:48Two, don't yap the whole time. Let the guy who owns the plane set the tone. Does he want to sleep? Does he want to talk and hang out with his friends? Does he want to work? Or do they want to work? Could be a lady as well, of course. But don't sit there just blabber-mouthing the whole time. Three, don't overindulge. The food is finite. They can't grow more food on board. don't eat everyone's food you should say no i'm not really that hungry and you know for when you first come on the flight attendant will definitely come up to you right away and say would you like some champagne instant answer no no oh if you have a glass just a bottle of water will be fine okay really go the opposite direction and of course if the other people start engaging and they start bringing out food you sure you don't want some of this because that's what will happen you know what maybe i'll just have a little taste but be responsive don't be needy or demanding so they're just stuffing your face champagne and sandwiches that'll be the last time you see that okay four although you call it a corporate jet it's known as a private jet keep it private right don't sit there taking pictures and videos yeah unless the host said it's okay No question about it.

1:01:03When you see any airplane on social media, it's because the person rented the plane, not because the person owns the plane. I love that. And number five, the last one, don't sit there comparing. I see people, they get on board someone's boat or they get on someone's plane. They say, oh my God, this reminds me of Joe Schmo's plane that was so much bigger, but I actually like this one more. They'd love to just connect it to some other, maybe just to show they've been on a plane before or something yeah but to compare no need to compare anything you don't compare your wife with someone else's wife you just keep everything to yourself and there's one more please luggage pack light pack light everybody thinks because you're going on a corporate jet man i can bring whatever i want no you know and you should actually ask you know what's my limitation you know uh and because sometimes you just you know you you shouldn't show up with all this I remember one time Lisa and I were flying from your favorite city that I won't mention because you hate it so much.

1:02:04And we were taking a jet out of there. And there was another couple who were going to the same place we were going. And so, you know, you want a good ride, we'll give you a ride there. You sure? Yeah, yeah, no problem. Now, this was a nine-passenger airplane. It was just the two of us. And the other two came. they showed up to the airplane with 14 pieces of luggage come on 14 pieces of luggage and then on top of that i hope he's watching on top of that um the another friend of us was we're going on their plane to the same place do i know the person with the 14 pieces yes you probably do yes and uh i think i have a feeling later that day another friend of ours who had his own plane was going at some place.

1:02:54So the guy with the 14-piece luggage, he couldn't, you know, the pilot was trying to smash it all into the airplane. He couldn't get it all on. This friend told the pilot, take these two pieces here and just leave them here with the private terminal here because there's another airplane coming later on today. And you can put that on the airplanes coming to the same place. And he picked my luggage. He picked my luggage. He told the pilot. He took all 14 of his. Yes. And he told the pilot to take my luggage and put it later for the next plane. And I found out. I saw the guy going into the terminal.

1:03:32I said, where are you going with that? He said, well, the gentleman there told me that it's going to go on the plane later on. What? Oh, my. I was furious. Okay. That is. Okay. I don't know. That's a la poubelle. That's a la poubelle. A la poubelle. Yeah. You do know who I'm talking about. that's beyond any of my rules I think that's implied I mean it's really another implied rule don't poop on board oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean even on a big plane even on a big plane but that's implied listen that's even in somebody's house I mean when you go to a guest house you're having dinner you go to the powder room you don't do that kind of stuff it's true maybe we're just more sensitive to the realities of life but you would think this is normal stuff we're talking about it's true I mean, in a very Stade Guy fashion, on every single episode of this podcast, we play a brief game of a la poubelle for the things we want to change and things that are fantastique, that you celebrate, that you want to see more of.

1:04:33Are there two or three things in either of those categories that you can tell us you'd like to see people change a la poubelle and you'd like to see people do more of and celebrate, which is fantastique? You know, inherently, I like to always think of the positive things. so definitely a fantastique is better for me and um and i know even on our social media you know we get great responses and people want us to do more of this criticizing of some of these idiots who are putting stuff on that's complete garbage not real not fake and and exaggerated and try to call them out on it um but i and i don't like doing it because again i like to just talk about positive things so you know when you're talking about you know the best places to go and and with the best things to enjoy in those kind of places i love that kind of stuff because it educates me of stuff so i i tend to lean more on the positive and the fantastique than the puba i love when you call out the pubel stuff because you know maybe sometimes people say my god i was acting an idiot Because when you see it, and in the exaggerated form that you sort of promoted in, the people might think, wow, I need to change myself.

1:05:48And hopefully that gets that kind of reaction. I find that there are strong extremes on both sides. And reality just exists in the nuance. And I don't like that online there's this message of today being a gentleman is being this toxic macho. versus being kind, well-mannered, polite, and doing all these gestures, which are historically what a gentleman is. This whole new toxic macho thing, it's like alpha male junk. It only really started like four or five years ago. And they label themselves as like, I'm more traditional, I'm more this. That's not traditional at all. I think it goes back to caveman.

1:06:22Before. Very traditional. It's like a gorilla. What are you saying? There's nothing to do with traditional. Traditional is kindness, manners, and love first. and that's something that I see in you, I see in my parents and your friends and my friends and I'm grateful to have grown up around that to be able to send it across as a message. You get more with sugar than you get with vinegar and if you are trying to act tough and angry and mean, it's not a good feeling inside. I mean, it penetrates your soul that you become an unhappy person and a tough person. it's so much nicer and easier to be nice to people and have that easy flow of uh i don't know kindness and emotion and it's just so much nicer to be nice i think it's sort of like people that tell lies a lot you know first of all it's too complicated to remember what you said last time and and second of all people lie or exaggerate for no reason like if they said um i sold uh my business for 27 million and they really sold it for 20 you think the person cares if you sold 20 or 27 or these people who you know they're married they have four kids and they say you know you know how old you are i'm you know i'm 48 they're really like 52 like why scratch the you're trying to pick up somebody you're trying to i mean why would you say 40 instead of 52 i mean what reason is that You don't have to.

1:07:53Nobody's, you're not trying to win something. And so just being truthful and being sincere and being honest and being nice, it's just, it makes you so much happier in life, that's all. And that's the way I like it. And if somebody doesn't like me that way, then don't be my friend. I think also in my speech I'm writing there, I always say, don't let somebody else's thoughts of you or images of you, prevent you from doing anything that you want to do. Because people do things for a reason of how am I going to be perceived by other people? First of all, nobody gives a shit about you. Nobody pays attention.

1:08:38I'm not talking about your spouses, your family, your kids. I'm talking about, in general, their friends. Nobody cares. I mean, you're trying to drive a fancy car than you can afford or be in a bigger house than you can afford or fly in a corporate jet and you shouldn't be. you know it's it's not gonna chain nobody says wow you know and think something differently of you and by the way if that's not really you they're thinking of a fake you so why why go through that extra i mean you can't keep it up indefinitely for sure and it's so uncomfortable internally for yourself it's stressful and it puts undue uh you know force and stress on on you makes you an unhappy person for sure and if anyone is doubting if people actually care about what they're wearing, what they're saying, what they're doing.

1:09:23The proof is try to remember what anyone else is doing, saying, and what they wore. So let's say you don't want to wear something because you wore it the last time. Tell me the five outfits that the other five wore, and I'll believe you. But really, everyone's just thinking about themselves. They have enough going on in their own lives. No one has the time or energy to care about everyone else. And you know what? That's okay. You want to feel good about yourself. That's the most important thing. You want to feel good about yourself. don't think you're doing it for other people you're really doing it for yourself and it's perfectly fine you should be, you should be proud of yourself and if that's what it takes getting a certain different level of clothing or business or a job, a car, a plane it's great, but do it for yourself not for the others I love that, Steve thank you so much for this conversation I really appreciate having this opportunity to be on the podcast I appreciate you for being on the podcast as always, welcoming me into your fuselage.

1:10:21This is good things always happen in here. Always invited to take this plane wherever you want to go. I really appreciate it. Just from Mayfair to Mayfair. Exactly. You know what? You can have any seat you want in here. Steve. Thank you so much. Good to see you. I appreciate you. Good to see you always. Appreciate you. Thank you for this. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Shtad Guy podcast. If you're keen to learn more, please follow along by engaging with our social channels on Instagram, TikTok, Spotify, YouTube and Apple Podcasts. And we look forward to seeing you next week.

1:11:00Merci beaucoup. A la prochaine and a big hug from the Start Guy.