Lois and Reuben

0:00This week's episode is brought to you in partnership with Specsavers and Specsavers have asked me to invite onto the podcast for this one-off segment. A very special guest, someone who's so hard to get a hold of. It is... Extremely hard. Yeah, it's Kenny. He's back on the midpoint. Hello, darling. How are you? Nice to meet you. This is going to have to be quick because I'm really, really busy at this stage of my life. I know you love popping on and telling us how you're feeling. I know also you're enjoying this time of year because you get to go outside occasionally and do a little bit of gardening.

0:28I do like being outside. It's really warm. It's lovely. Well, Specsavers have got you along today because they've done some research and they've asked us to reveal the one term that is said more in modern relationships than I love you by couples over the age of 55. So what do you think this might be? What might this thing that people say, this common refrain, this common phrase be? Oh my God. Kenny, have you done the Benz? No, not that. It's not about Kenny. It's just in all relationships. Have you fed your dogs? where's your phone where's the keys you had them last that's got to be one no no it is actually what and by what i i think pardon as opposed to what you're talking about spec savers research has looked at this age of life the midpoint couples and has found that actually 46 percent of people in this period of life admit they have argued with their partner because they couldn't and hear each other properly.

1:30So saying what all the time obviously can get a little bit tiring for people, can't it? If people feel they're not being listened to or heard, it can get a bit frustrating. I get that. Yes. Oh, yes. I definitely get that where I sometimes make you actually look at me when I'm talking to make sure it's going in. People think their hearing's perfect, but maybe it's not as perfect as they think it is. And in this period of life, obviously, lots of stuff's getting challenged, isn't it? But Specsavers have got the solution because according to them, a free hearing check could be the ultimate act of love, tackling hearing loss, improving connection and resolving all that bickering.

2:13Maybe the most romantic thing you can do is book in for a free hearing check at Specsavers. So Specsavers have asked us to have a look at these questions here, mull over them. And perhaps maybe by doing that, we can understand whether a hearing check on each other's halves might reduce any tension caused by mishearing. OK, so first of all, rank your listening out of 10. So I've got to rank your listening out of 10. You've got to rank mine out of 10. This is listening, by the way. I would give you probably nine. Oh, pretty nine. Because there's room for improvement. Always. You're a pretty good listener.

2:49Yeah, OK. And I'd give myself, what, an eight? I think you do, when you're actually focused and we're sat down or having a nice conversation, you do actually listen. Now, rank hearing out of 10. I would say maybe a six for you. Oh God, I was thinking seven. I think for you, because your job is about listening and you're always having the earpiece in, I'm going to give you an eight. Okay. Okay, I'll take that. I'll take that. So sometimes, of course. A six. Yeah, I'm giving you a six. Sometimes, you know, we have had moments where we've not heard things properly. I do think that sometimes I know it's a kind of modern refrain that you hear people say, oh, people mumble on TV now.

3:34But I do think sometimes I'm turning the TV up a little bit louder. Oh, yeah, definitely. Interesting, isn't it? When you start chatting about it. Something to think about. Something to think about there. Well, thank you so much to Specsavers. And remember, if you're at the point where what is the most used word in your relationship, Specsavers experts are here to help. Specsavers hearing experts have been doing this for over 20 years, helping people tune back into the people they care about. Taking action could mean fewer arguments, fewer missed moments and may help you reconnect. Show them you care and book a free hearing check today at Specsavers.

4:14hello and welcome to the midpoint this week i have two very special guests to kind of round up the summer before we take a little break uh very difficult to get hold of them genuinely difficult to get hold of them in the same place lois and reuben are back on the podcast um i say back i don't know if you've been on together have you no no no we haven't just separately Yeah, so this is the first time. And we've had to do it in separate rooms, not because you have... Don't like each other. Ruben smells really bad. Yeah, the odour's quite strong. The midpoint mics in my little studio at home are apparently directional.

4:50There you go, a little bit of insider terminology for you. And so the size of Ruben, we probably couldn't get Lois squeezed in, which I've just realised the size of Ruben. When I look at us on the screen there... It probably would have been better if I was sat next to you, Mum, to be honest. I feel a bit neglected. I probably would have just ended up playing Flappy Bird on my phone if I was allowed to my own devices. It's a good idea. So you're quite competitive about the podcast because when I think Ruben came on first. You've got much more views than Lois. And Lois. You sound just like your father.

5:20I do think that's actually true. It is factual. You can check. Anyway, you've both been on and we talked about all kinds of different things to do with parenting and to do with being teenagers and to do, Ruben talked a lot about anxiety and dealing with, you know, stress and Lois, we talked, Christmas episode was good fun with dad. And so having you on together is going to be quite interesting as I think we've already discovered in that opening kind of gambit there. So, and also can I thank you both for coming on, on your 20th birthday. Scary, scary, scary words. It is actually, what a present for me to give you an hour of my time.

6:00Wow. We were supposed to do this a few days ago, but Ruben's schedule changed. Very busy. And so we've moved it to today. But you did kind of celebrate your birthday yesterday while England's women were winning the Euros. And I was out in Basel. You had a little soiree. Viewing party was all it. A viewing party. Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of arrived back from Basel in the early hours. well I say early hours I got a very early plane home and walked in to find guys in the house I hadn't seen before you know they were pretty scared of mum I tell you what they all ran up to my room and said Gabby's here Gabby's here what do we do some leftovers from the party had stayed over which was good fun and then they all stayed to watch you open your birthday cards and presents which I always find yeah but I find that's hilarious watching I enjoyed it much more with them there oh that's nice it was much more fun because they commentate on every present They do commentate on every present.

6:57Yeah. It was a nice experience, wasn't it? You've got very funny friends. I enjoyed their company. So here we are, 20, no longer a teenager. Lois, first of all, what does that mean to you? Oh, God. Like a sense of impending doom, maybe, kind of comes onto my shoulders. It's quite scary. I just don't feel like, I don't know, I don't like it, really. Why? It just feels a bit too grown up. It sounds very mature. yeah I don't because I remember like when I was younger and I used to kind of look at 20 year olds that's old that's old that's really old I just say you know you're on a podcast called the midpoint yeah I know you're kidding people in midlife would kill to be 20 well actually that's not true don't necessarily think they would kill to be 20 they're enjoying themselves they are enjoying themselves yeah I think it's well they they know that you know the best is yet to come your 20s are an interesting place to be I think if you listen to the midpoint you've accepted the fact you're middle age you know you're pretty much adapted to that so I don't that's an issue no i don't i think you're absolutely right reuben gosh so why i think being 20 though also opens up a lot of doors of opportunity so in what sense well you know you're older you're i'm going to be kind of graduating from uni in a couple of years and you're moving you know on to new new challenges reuben i think you know we're not kids anymore we're kind of moving into adult life and so i'm not willing to accept that fact i think that's i think that's because lois has got an innate sense of maturity and reuben is more learned behavior what's quite ironic we spoke about this um just on the table with us when you were in town there um is the fact that we are you know the argument of nature versus nurture is a great example is me and you i know being nature because we were brought up the exact same at the same time by these same parents and we're so different exactly i think that's a good example but then i i saw a psychologist talking about this and saying ah but and he was talking about siblings more than twins but even though you think you're doing things the same much harsher than me i'm glad you've realized that now people are different and the way you treat their peccadillos and their differences can you know kind of quirks quirks of personality is sometimes subliminally you're doing things differently right so you might you might for example reward a certain behavior for a girl that you then chastise for a even if you think you're doing things totally you're not being sexist you're yeah um but speaking of which do you remember when i got the term gender fluid confused yeah that was that was a fun stay school for a few weeks that's more of an issue for reuben than it did for me ever i did an interview and we i was talking about your toys and i meant no it was clothes it was you asked the question would you know you force your son or girl to wear girl or boy clothes and you yeah but i what i meant was you can wear you were trying to be really really smart you're trying to be really smart like saying the word piccadillo in you know i mean like trying to over piccadillo trying to overdo it with it with a conversation no no i didn't mean gender fluid and poor ruben um stacy well you got an art and yeah an article that said i was bringing you up to be gender fluid um which is strange to see when you're 12 years old but yeah i'm knowing that you're gender fluid well i also didn't say that in the article but that's the you know media like i had an embarrassing thing the other day didn't i where a video got kind of on my i was scrolling and and the girl was talking about a massage in London and I didn't realise that she was talking about something sexual.

10:18This is becoming a theme. This is becoming a theme with you. I think you need to just sort of stay off Instagram for a while because I don't think you might understand how it works. No. It's a bit like dad and his scrolling. Anyway, let's go back to maturity and innate sense of kind of maturity, which Lois, I think we'll both agree, has probably got, would you say? Perhaps. I'll tell you how this is defined to me. This morning, I'm waiting for my luggage coming off the carousel at 7.15 this morning in the airport. And I rang to wish Lois a happy birthday and asked her to go and get Dad up. And she went, not yet.

10:50I'm just cleaning the kitchen floor because you had a party yesterday. You were out for the count, asleep upstairs. And Lois thought ahead and thought, Mum won't want to come home to a really dirty kitchen after a party. So she was cleaning it up. And I think that's... I thought I'd cleaned it the night before. I think that's the difference there. But you hadn't, Ruben. and you weren't in the right mindset to know if the kitchen was clean or put it that way. From the point of view that I saw it, it was very clean. So anyway, you now, as Lois pointed out there, are going to move even further away from home.

11:22You've signed for sales sharks. You're moving to Manchester, which as you discovered on your journey up there to go and watch them play at the end of the season is a long way from where our family home is. So this is going to be a big, I think, Lois, if you probably agree, this is going to be the biggest change that you've experienced, I would say. yeah I'm like Lois I'm moving up and moving out of the world you know I don't live at home anymore like Lois does but um don't bite Lois don't bite Lois it's good for her you know someone needs to be closer to the nest but um you've just signed a house so you've got somewhere to live yes yeah which is nice which you've worried about for a bit there and uh and you you're going to be moving up in a few weeks time and it's not just a nip home Manchester no it's it's going to be good good I'm looking forward to being away I think I've probably grown out of my house a little bit in the sense of the parents need me gone so I think that should be interesting We don't need you gone Yes they do I think that's become apparent I think that's harsh Yeah we don't need you gone Well I can't I tell you what I can't wait is to go to bed when you've got nothing on tomorrow and actually sleep until you wake up as opposed to mum just coming in at a random hour usually early and waking me up in my own room because you feel like it and I can't wait for that to that to subside Well usually it's about three hours after I got up and I always feel like It could be nine o 'clock.

12:32Or you need to walk with dogs or something. I don't have a dog. Exactly. Bang. Well, we do have three dogs here and you would claim definitely that you are a dog owner, I'm sure. I'm Milo's dog. Milo does not walk. Well done. Well chosen. Milo's 14 to clarify. We don't just not walk. No, we don't just leave him in the house. He doesn't want to walk. Yeah. But I think we will notice this more than, you know, we talk about empty nesting on the podcast. I think we'll notice this more than any other change in all of your lives. Because Lois, you did come home quite a lot from Loughborough last year.

13:00All the time. Yeah, and I do think I will be there a lot more in the next year. So I do think you'll definitely feel it, Mum and Dad. Well, Dad's not here, but Mum. But I think you'll both feel a change, I reckon, with us both. But then I'm going to be in Manchester quite a lot. Match of the day. This is true. I think I'll see Mum more than Dad. Yeah, you'll see Mum. Which has been recently in my life, in the last year, I've seen Dad, I think, a fair to say, a lot more than I've seen you. Because Dad's come to watch most of your own matches. Exactly, and mum's always working. I've come from 50 % of your matches in the last year.

13:33I counted. That's a lie, folks. That's a massive lie. It's not. There is... Mum, I don't think you went to any Leicester Lions games. I did. I went to one of the lowest. I did. I came to the first one on my own. Did you watch any Cambridge games when I was on my own? I think I was doing the Six Nations during that time. You wouldn't have been because it was after my... Under 26 Nations, which is the same time. But only because I was working. I was doing the Women's Six Nations. Are you saying the Women's Six Nations is not the Six Nations? No, I'm saying the men. sorry I apologise for that I was doing the women's Six Nations but I've come when I can I come to matches you know I do like I came to three games in Italy yeah but that's about the average I would say that's about the aggregate of games okay but anyway it's not a competition she's a great mum yeah it's not a competition it's not a competition and I'm not trying to win mum of the year you know we're all busy you did win that 2012 she let us know oh yeah I did Tesco mum of the year we actually didn't know we didn't know that ironically didn't ask me for a say though did they well you didn't you didn't get a vote I know but I think if you're mum of the year, the kids should ever say, should they not?

14:32Granted, I was six or seven years old, but... You were very shocked that day. I was, I was, I was. I thought we were just going. I didn't realise you'd actually won it and I was quite shocked when you won it. Not because I was shocked that you'd won it. I found it very cool because one of the judges of Strictly was there. It was a crazy day because I then went off to do a stand-up for Comic Relief and I won that in the evening. Yeah, I remember that. Good for you. Yeah, I know you think you've taken that. Daily mum of unlikely kind of... Unlikely awards. a comedy award number of the year yeah maybe my last two votes anyway Reuben's moving off and I feel it's going to be amazing for him to live in Manchester and to have this opportunity with Sailsharks and things have gone very well for you at the World Cup and we're very we're really happy for how you know things went for you there personally it was a good tournament for me personally but I think we could have done better as a team but of course we won't dig into that we won't dig into that because it's not a rugby podcast yeah we'll get on the good the bad and the ugly for that one I'm not invited is it not called the good the bad the rugby yeah not the ugly I mean, that's quite rude on the host.

15:31Otherwise, it's... I'm not sure Haskell would be too pleased with that. Is he ugly, is he? He won't be. He's a good-looking guy. Lois, we need to talk about what a big week this is. When this drops on Wednesday, we'll be 24 hours away from the Magnolia Cup, which anybody who follows me on social media would have seen me talking about. This is a race, a flat race, a horse race, for amateur female jockeys, which takes part as a Goodwood Festival for charity. I thought it was one race. Are we going the whole day? Yeah, it's a day of races and stuff going on. I thought it was Lois. No, it's just not Lois.

16:03No, not just me. So I can, you know, have a good time at the races. Yeah, you can have a good time at the races. And then, and this is, all these women who are taking part are from totally different backgrounds. They've never raced before. That's the kind of key thing. None of us have raced in a race before. So it's our first time. It's for a brilliant charity. So it's very exciting. Which charity have you chosen? Everyone's raising money for the King's Trust Project Lahar, which is for women in India. So it's very women, female-based. So kind of, yeah, it's exciting. I'm really excited. I'm a bit nervous, but I'm more excited than I am nervous.

16:39I don't think you could have trained any harder. You've really put the hours in. Yeah, I have trained hard. It has been really hard and intense and just I'm so tired all the time at the minute. Getting up at 4.30 regularly. Four times a week, yeah. And it's a lot. You get on with it and don't tell anyone about it. I think if I wake up before nine o 'clock, I let everyone know about it. That is true. And what I like is you're not embarrassed at all about the fact sometimes she comes back having got up at 4.30 in the morning and you're still in bed. That actually happens. I've come back mid-day and I've ridden four horses.

17:15I'd like to clarify here that it's my off season and I'm resting. I was about to say, we should just clarify. I'm not that lazy. When I'm home, I never come home to work. nothing if i'm home you're on holiday basically whenever i come home it's not to which is why i said at the very beginning it's rare that we get you kind of in the same place which is lovely to have you both in the same place um and and the magnolia cup lois um i mean it's quite scary prospect really for me because i'm not a rider but to be lining up with loads of other people on a horse and going in a race that part of it have you you might have you got your mindset around the race part of it yeah i've got a tactic in my head i've got an idea what i'm going to do can't reveal it it's a straight race what are you gonna see no i can't say she's gonna run very fast with the horse and win the race i've got an idea of how i want to how i want to run the race so you know yeah it will just hope that on the day you know everything goes to plan but i think for me actually like as cliche as it is it's not really about winning this race i mean winning it would be amazing and i want to win but the sort of the hard work and the kind of cause that it's fall i think just crossing the finish line i think i might burst into tears because it's just like it's just been such a kind of big thing for such a long time how long have you been well they approached you about eight months ago didn't yeah september they approached yeah so she's been thinking about because then you have to pass the jockey test which is a physical that all jockeys have to do yeah i mean i've never been as fit in my life i don't think yeah i'm excited i'm nervous i'm excited but it'll be once i get across the finish line i think i'm going to be really relieved you'll probably end up kind of feeling deflated almost at first yeah it's gonna be a bit of a come down definitely yeah because of the adrenaline that you've been putting in it did you feel like that at the end of the rugby world cup a bit deflated i felt absolutely knackered so i think that was a different sort of not deflated i felt um shattered so i don't think and you were away for almost five weeks living with people in a hotel um a group of boys who obviously the squad when you come out of that situation do you feel a bit weird for a few days a bit discombobulated having my own room so having my own room and then having because I slept on a sheet not having duvets so the duvet felt really heavy at home but little things like that was really weird and having but having your own space back well same home space there's no knocking in this house so Gabby's straight in there I do knock often I just shout I'm naked even if I'm not just if you're not coming like that's going to put me off I mean 20 years ago today I gave birth to you both you know yeah and we'll hear all about it's her day not ours but the way we'll hear all about it I won't be telling the birth story today the birth story which is whenever we've heard it enough I think at this point every single time about this time I was going into labor dad went to get us twix at this time and then I made a funny joke and he missed it what you don't realize with a mom is you know our memories kind of are so strong about those experiences it's so visceral so so it's really hard not to just tap back into that and looking at you both going oh my god that's two decades how is that how is that is weird how's that gone by two decades yeah that is one minute one minute you're seven years old and the next you're 20 and you're no longer teenagers i feel embarrassed almost saying i've got kids who are like adults yeah because that's like you're not really yeah it's like it's a different stage of parenting yeah yeah i've got to go i've got to go because i want to go see my how old are you kids 20 yeah that's so weird isn't it this guy said to me this morning in the airport oh you're in a rush when i got off the plane and i because i was walking quickly because i always do and um i said oh i'm just dashing home because my it's my kid's birthday and he went oh how old is your kid i went oh they they're twins um 20 and he looked at me like like yeah you're not rushing home for a seven-year-old but thomas quite strange isn't it like no but it's still it's nice that you know you still care about us now that we're adults.

21:05I still care. Well, no, that's what this podcast is about actually because I'm just saying we're just changing the whole contract. There's moving vehicles coming tomorrow.

21:32but that's also a question that I wanted to bring up on the podcast because I think a lot of people will probably have that you under there's a shifting kind of understanding you've heard of the universal contract which is a societal thing about how we all adhere to certain behaviors within families i think there's a universal contract type situation right where you all well you all have to acknowledge each other's you know kind of um presence in various things in the family and as you get older you are more mature you're aware of it and and as kids what we are dad's presence in the barbecue what we are responsible for as parents changes doesn't it like we're not responsible it's like the rules apply less a bit sometimes not not the rules but the the family you know there are little things that like we're an adult now and we we are we can make our own decisions and we you know we can do our own i try not to but yeah but you do come close to me quite a lot of messages and say do you think this is a good thing oh yeah i treat you like a doctor kind of a you know a pharmacist an encyclopedia you know you are you sort of a general general help aren't you sounding board just a sounding board yeah anything like can you keep text message even though i'm literally at university doing degree i can't really formulate a text message sometimes so but you can that's the thing you send me something and you'll go do you think this is good and i'll say yes great maybe add this in but you you can do it yeah no that's good isn't it it'd be a bit worrying if i've been through school and university years old and i can't write a text but you do dad can't he still like dictates it yeah but that's to do with dyslexia but you worryingly ruben you don't run much by me at all i'm my own man what can i say i've like i said i've moved out the house i've essentially been living on living out without you but that's not true actually because when you know when little things get a little bit tough for you sometimes you do come you come running back that's the key you do he doesn't he doesn't do spelling though my biggest pet peeve no it's terrible i was told this to the day i sent a text seven full stops in it and it was like one my biggest pet peeve with rubes is that he the way he spells no so instead of spelling it k-n-o-w he just says i want to clarify i'm very intelligent i'm not being seen as intelligent on this podcast but i've got loads of brains and stuff no but it's like when you'll say you'll say so i'll say you're like ruben what's this and you'll go i've got no like no n-o idea and it just makes you look like you really seriously got no that is the correct spelling of i've got nice one smart ass that is the correct spelling I've got no idea.

23:54You look really smart now, Lois, don't you? Wait, what? That's the correct spelling, Lois. You've got no idea. Okay, no, no, no, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I meant I know, like as in I-N. Yeah, all right. He goes for I-N. Well, I think the point's lost now after that, Lois. Lois, for what it's worth, Lois, I totally agree with you. Ruben's lack of attempt to even bother with spelling. But you know what I'm saying, don't you? Yes, I do. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing that you're... Do you just tell me when you're professionally messaging people... Spell the same. You spell the same.

24:31My job is not that of... So if you were messaging Alex Anderson, who's your new boss at Sailsharks, would you spell correctly? I'd think I'd spell correctly, but I imagine I wouldn't. Would you never check it? Would I spell check a text? No. You wouldn't just like think, oh, I'll have a quick look at that because it's somebody quite important. well you mean that meant me sound like i'm being like you know but i'm like i just can't spell okay so you're just blaming that's incredible well that's why i can't spell this because i can't spell yeah i find that incredible i find that really incredible well dyslexia if i know just like the fact you wouldn't read a text again no i read it again but i wouldn't think there's any spelling because it's i wouldn't know yeah fair enough um i mean obviously we're not here to I'm going to leave I'm going to go see Kenny do you think just on your relationship do you think it's changed since Ruben's moved out we've got two years now of this changing dynamic and Ruben not being in the house all the time Lois do you think it's changed no I don't think there's I don't I do and I don't I think when we come together it's like normal but we're not talking like every single day like we would like we used to drive together to school we'd sit on the bus together like we'd get home from school and have dinner do you know what I mean so yeah so but do you how do you communicate them um just text something is though i'll text me and be like how are you rubes and he'll just be like okay like okay he doesn't give me much to work with so and then if i call him he never really picks up so i'm just like well i think he's good at picking up the phone actually because i'm always on my phone yeah you are good at answering it lois um yeah maybe i just don't call you that much i just like to text but he just doesn't really text you like to send instagram reels i do that is my love language 12 a day i like that it's me can i be honest with you i've not watched one i'm thinking well that's nice oh reuben that makes you sound like a really mean person no but because she sends me like 12 a day and i'm like oh i'll catch one of them if i was like the therapist here can i advise lois to start sending him one a day no but i think you know what i mean when i send one also you send me they're from two different accounts which means you're doom scrolling no hang on hang on and your own account i don't doom scroll normally i just have 12 really funny ones in a row and they will make me think of you and i think ruben would laugh at that does does ruben send you um instagram reels i get the occasional one how it should be no you shouldn't be able to have access i don't send everyone instagram reels it's a privilege that you even get them from me so on both accounts as well it's my love language it's my way of sharing what's your love language what's your love language um i haven't quite worked that out um whether i have one um i feel quite awkward now i don't actually know whether i have one i'm trying to it's getting deep no words the word i love you probably you're great being told that you're great isn't you being told that you're great is that you like words affirmation I'd like to hear that from time to time that's quite nice who's important that you hear it from?

27:39I don't know why is this getting so deep? because it's just the way conversation goes sometimes it can slip from being superficial do you want to be told by your bosses? yeah obviously that's everyone wants to hear that especially in my line of work that's pretty cool if you heard that but I feel like that's obviously people important to me yeah if you're hit by people who are important to you in your life whether it's your boss your parents your twin sister someone you look up to still well i wouldn't say i mentioned my twin sister retract that statement and go again and take her out of it i think you do look up to nois not in not in the slightest look up look up to no in a physical sense she's my twin sister i know what i mean is i don't mean look up to i mean i think you hold her in high regard as a person yes but that's about it don't don't be going I'm trying to look up to my twin sister.

28:29Oh, okay. God, I'm getting absolutely slated on this podcast. No, I think, I think that's a misunderstanding of the expression. Do I hold her in high regard as a person? Yes. Okay, that's enough, I think Lois, at this age. I think at 20, I think that's... I look up to Jonah Loma. That's a bit of words of affirmation that I need. And he's dead. That has nothing to do with him. I know, just it's, I think it's people that you have an association with, is what I'm saying. You know, it's kind of... No, I have no association to Jonah Loma. He's a rugby player, so there is that yeah well yeah but actually there was that and genetically I mean you're not dissimilar in size but there's definitely no link there at all sadly so and Lolo I feel the same I think you also are very kind to Reuben you said that like I've got some sort of deformity or problem you're kind to him like you're kind to an old dog that's going to die soon no I feel like or a toddler she's very okay I'll tell you what I think she is that's the wrong word I think she's very patient with you no I am patient we get on uh here we go I think we just get on well I think that's that's how that would you not agree yeah we do definitely get on well we don't I wouldn't say we've argued and apart from yesterday when you woke me up we get we get on well and we I think we both understand each other though we're so different we both understand each other quite well and so you are the way you are and I'm the way I am and we get that about each other and also I think we're quite open like I could tell you anything and I know that for a fact you wouldn't judge me because you've probably done a lot worse.

29:59What's that supposed to mean? But I was thinking you'd tell me anything and I would judge you. And I'd be judged heavily, as I often am. You'd done a lot worse beforehand, so you know. In fact, as you're getting older you're doing less bad things. That's good, isn't it? Maturity. Yeah. I think the definition of maturity is the fact that Nana Christine bought Ruben an air fryer for his birthday, an air fryer. Result. I feel like that says a lot about you. That is getting old when you're getting happy about kitchen appliances, isn't it? That's such a good point. Do you know what he asked for, Lois?

30:36When Nana said to him, what would you like? No, he said a garlic press. A garlic press? I mean, it was low level. We didn't have one in Northampton and chopping up the garlic. That's quite sweet, actually. I know, I know. I don't want a big toy, do I? Well, I mean, I don't know. I feel like an air fryer could be a big toy to an adult. Yeah. Exactly, to an adult it's different, isn't it? So he's got his air fryer and nobody bought him a garlic press so I might just have to buy you a bonus birthday garlic press. Take the one from you. Out of our kitchen drawer. I tell you what though, it is weird though when you think about it, like when you're a kid, you'd see dad get excited over a new set of knives or mum or some new forks and you'd be like, why are they excited?

31:15Now, that's like sick. That's great. No, but it's a bit like that looked great in the kitchen. Do you know what I mean? That's completely different, isn't it? No. You're like, how old am I? I'm going, yes, an air fryer. That would be sick. I realised when I got my leaf blower for Christmas and I was really happy about it. I know. I'm really like no longer a child. That was my favourite Christmas present. But you don't know you're ageing and then you just suddenly realise, oh, I'm happy. I'm buzzing about the air fryer. Then you're like, ooh. I'm yet to unwrap it. All I can think about now you're saying this is the air fryer.

31:47I know, because I said keep it in the box because you can transport it. I want to see what it looks like. It is. It's as you get older, you're doing more stuff and you want things that make life more convenient to you, right? Or things that are going to help you. When you're younger, you don't need that. You just want to play. You just want a toy or whatever. Just one of that Xbox. And so when something comes into your life that's genuinely very helpful and very useful, it's like, oh my God, this is amazing. That's why. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And that's how I think about my leaf blower.

32:17and I feel like somebody has thought about what you need exactly it's me so obviously Nana thought oh this would be a useful present for Ruben and dad at Christmas so you could have your own leaf blower so when you're around the horses not blow the horses with the leaf blower no I should point out that's not what you're doing even Ruben who spends no time with horses would know you don't get a leaf blower up a horse's bum I know you like the horses but you don't go anywhere near them in terms of sports do you It's not really a big horse big enough, is it? A big shire horse. A big shire horse, maybe.

32:50Yeah. A big shire horse. Well, Lois, we both are very excited about watching you in the Magnolia Cup. And as I say, this drops on Wednesday. Magnolia Cup is Thursday. So if anybody wants to go put a bet on you, should they? No, don't put too much. Maybe like... Save your money. Yeah. I don't know. I've checked the odds. Each way. Each way. Yeah, why not? Only really, I don't, I mean... Top three finished. I don't... yeah I don't know I mean all right no I'm thinking about it now good to see you're confident though okay well obviously um we're just really proud of you for all the work you put in whether you win whether you come second third fourth whether you're last in the field it is about you know the achievement of getting there on that start line so well done we can't wait to go and see you do that and thank you so much both of you for spending this time on your birthdays chatting to us on the midpoint we're going to take a little summer break and obviously you can go back and listen to episodes from the last year on the midpoint we've had some amazing guests pertaining to all kinds of areas of life from nutrition to sleep to lots of great doctors as well on the midpoint as well as the amazing guests so thank you for your company over the last 12 months thank you two do you want to say before we go do you want to have the last word thanks for having us any last word from you both no it's because you've got me a Coke Zero from the fridge please yeah I can actually I'm downstairs thank you thank you very much okay great what a great way to finish they're not even sponsoring the podcast other fizzy drinks are available actually while we're here let me and Lois have got a good point Coke Zero is the best drink of all time Lois you stand up and say the rest well I kind of like pushed back on things like that being in the house for a long time and then this is this is a given this is what happens when you don't allow your kids fitty drinks well now I go okay if you want to make that choice it's your choice and it's been made it certainly has thank you guys thanks mum