I Have Over $300k Cash Sitting In My House (I'm Scared Of The Stock Market)

28:55Yeah. So what you need to be looking at is if you're trying to settle this, it's really common that you could settle a debt for anywhere between 30 % to 50 % of the balance if it's already in collections. So that's kind of the range that you want to aim in. And if you know it's a couple of years old, yeah, push for that 30 % of the balance. Okay. That's kind of where you want to be. You want to make sure that you have that lump sum and you want to make sure that you have it all documented. I mean, this is, when you get that letter, this is the one that you laminate and you put it in ice and keep it forever.

29:30Okay. It's true. I love that. Yeah. So Damien, yeah. I mean, you are actually working through this the right way. You don't need to file bankruptcy. You just settle these things one at a time. Now, the big question is, are you learning your lesson? Oh, it is. It is learned many times over. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and here's the deal. We ask that, by the way, not to put any kind of shame on you, but really so that there's some conviction that's developed out of this. You know what I mean? Because none of us are sitting here without anything dumb. You've heard Dave say it for decades. I got a PhD in DUMB.

30:05So, but this is the key, right? Get through this, but never again. Yeah, no, I, this is not a journey I ever want to take again. That is, that is for sure. And you're going to have to deal with some, I mean, the truth is, uh, you can't afford to pay all of these. So 1-800-PAY-ME is going to be blowing up your line. And that, that right there, uh, is more detrimental. Yeah. Speak to that. Cause you've actually walked through that. How How does not just Damien, but other people that are experiencing it, give them that mindset of what their options actually are? Well, number one, it feels detrimental because they're calling you all the time and it makes you feel bad about yourself, right?

30:44And that's the trap I don't want you to fall into because you do have a plan and you're sticking to your plan. And that's really what you have to tell them. And if you even choose to pick up, you know, you pick up and you say, hey, this is my plan. You're next or I'm getting to you next. And when I get to you, you better be ready to make a deal. Uh-huh. So that's kind of the way that goes. I'm more telling you it as a friendly warning. If you get to the point that you're able to make some minimum payments there, you could, but it's not really going to help you when it comes to settling it. Yeah.

31:16Really good advice. So, hey, there is a way. It seems like you've got the will now and we're cheering you on and better days are ahead here, but you got to finish this. You got to clean up your mess and then we can rebuild after that.

31:33Thank you.

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32:46all right let's go to tyler who joins us now in wilmington delaware tyler how can we help today so i'm in this uh relationship where i feel like i get uh leaned on financially pretty well, and I'm very young and I do pretty well. As of right now, I have a lot of money saved up and I just am wondering the perspective that you guys may have on, is that like a healthy relationship or should I be using this time at my age to generate more wealth than what I'm doing? What is the relationship? Is this a marriage? Is this dating? What are we talking about? Dating. Okay. How long have you been dating?

33:26uh a year and a half year and a half how much money do you make 135 and um you said you've you've been putting stuff away do you have any debt no debt and what kind of retirement situation are you starting to build um i max out my 401k and then i uh have about in my private savings account, just around$100 ,000, making me about 18 % a year. Okay. So tell me about the other person in this relationship. What do they do and how much do they make? They are in mental health and they make around$50 ,000 a year with somewhere near $70 ,000,$80 ,000 in debt currently. Okay. Now let's get to the crux of the call.

34:19yes what do you mean by leaned on like let's get real here like we need we need an example yes that really bothers you either hurt you or angered you or maybe one of each I'm gathering all this for for Jade and I to be able to to weigh in here so give us some examples or one good example I would say like vacations and then like weekend fun dates everything along those lines. So you pay for the vacation? Yes. The whole thing? Yep. And is it manipulative in how she puts that out there? Like, how is that decided? No, it's more of just, like, she knows that I know and that it's, like, really not even up for discussion.

35:06How does she know that? Yeah. Well, just that, like, she knows that I know she's not in a great financial situation. Alright. And, like, And, you know, in this young day and age, I feel like, you know, females want to do all the fun stuff. And just because of the situation, they may not be able to. He just went females. Listen, when you say females, that already lets me know something has gone down. I agree. That's caused you to be, you're feeling some type of way. I haven't heard yet, Jade, anything where she's leaning on you. Well, that's what I'm going to get to. Tell me how the conversation goes down.

35:42Is it you saying, oh, it's July, we should probably go on vacation, what do you have in mind? Or is it her bringing up, hey, it's July, we should probably go on vacation, what do you have in mind? Like, tell me how the conversations go. And I need that because it's very different if you saying, hey, you know, let's go let's go down to Fort Lauderdale. And she's like, OK. And you're like, hey, I made the reservation for the Hilton. And she's like, OK. And then you just go versus her saying, where do you want to go, honey? And you're like, well, I don't know. And she says, well, I found this really cute place.

36:17I think we should go here. And then you're like, well, OK. Right. All of that matters. So I want to know how it goes. I would say it's more of like, oh, we should do something. And then like, I'm a very minimalist person. And then perspective on there and gets a little starts that, you know, the standard starts to increase. And then it just kind of goes in there. Okay, listen, I ain't saying she's a gold digger. But she, I get the lean now. I get it. Do you feel that? I want to make sure I get the female perspective. I get the lean. Okay, I get the lean. So where are you relationally with this gal?

36:54I don't live with them, no. Okay, good. No, no, no. I wasn't even getting into that. But that is good. What's your, on a scale of one to ten, ten being she's absolutely one, I'm going to marry her no matter what, or one being could care less if I'm in this relationship one more day. There's your extremes. Where are you at with her? Yeah. I feel like I'm, like, right in the middle. It's just like a little stuck situation. Okay. I do care about them. And you know what I mean? You care about her, but this is troubling you. Yes. So what we need to decipher here is the line. And Ken, you're just the man to do this.

37:30We need to decipher the line between the classic chivalrous male behavior. And I know I'm choosing. I would agree. Right. I would agree. And then what is too much and kind of like the lean as what we called it. So I'm going to start by saying yes. If you take me on a date, especially like you're not living together, like there's no like intent that we are in any way beyond dating. I'm expecting the male to pay every single time. Totally agree. And I would say, yes, you should be paying for dates. You guys have been dating how many years? Yeah, one and a half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're paying for dates.

38:09However, when she comes up with an idea that is an expensive idea, and by the way, you get to determine what you feel is expensive. This is a two-way street. As money bags, yes. That's right. And you're the money. So when she brings that up, you should feel free to say, that feels like it's too much. And you can explain why. I agree. And I think it's incumbent on you to explain why. Then if she follows up and goes, well, why, why, why? Then you start to go, you know what? But some of this is on me because in the past you've suggested stuff that I would not normally pay for given my views on money.

38:46And I've got a formula in place. I don't want to spend this one. You lay it all out so she knows where you're coming from. She shouldn't be guessing. On a vacation. Yes, on a vacation. What's the chivalrous behavior? I'm thinking half and half. It's half and half. But I'm saying he has to take that stand and think about it ahead of time and then say no. He has to feel comfortable going, I'm not comfortable going on a sixth. thousand dollar vacation i i i agree with that i agree with that she goes why you explain it and let's say you go and i'm making this up you go i'm comfortable with a two thousand dollar okay great so then you explain to her but i think you should be paying for half of it well i can't right now so then we can't go we aren't going or we pick something more in your budget yeah and then go and let this bleed into and i probably the wrong word let this lead into a bigger conversation about money so that you, my friend, can go from being a five to a eight, nine, or a 10 on whether or not we stay in this relationship.

39:46You're looking for certainty right now because Jade, I'm going to bring it back to you. You're in the weeds on this and the data and you coach people because he's dating right now and he's on a five. Yes. If this doesn't go to some certainty on whether or not they're a good fit from a value standpoint on money, this causes how many issues down the line. It's going to cost so many. I mean, it's the number one, number two, depending on what piece of research you're looking at, cause of divorce, money fights and money problems. So if this is somebody that you're starting to go down that path of she might be the one, this is to Ken's point, this is just the type of scenario where you can start these conversations to really see what are each of your philosophies on money.

40:28And now's not the time to try to change somebody. Now's the time to try to go, who are you for real? Great point. You know, I want to see who you are for real and vice versa. Yeah. Now, if she says, okay, she needs to feel the weight of this. And we hope, Tyler, that this goes one of two ways. My hope is, is that she reveals herself. Jade's absolutely right. And so once she reveals herself, and what we mean by that is how she views money, at which point we now get to have a very serious conversation about how you view money. And is there a bridge to where we meet in the middle and middle being, I'll help you and guide you and teach the principles that I've been living by.

41:14Right. If you're willing to do it, that's meet in the middle here. And then you're going to find out really quick whether or not she values you enough to change her values about money. Yes. But the key strategy to what Ken is saying, and this is key, and this is for anybody listening, when you bring up the money conversation, the first question, you don't say your philosophy first. You let them say first, because if they really like you and you say, oh, debt, yeah, I don't do debt. They're going to go, oh, yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. If they really like you and they think that, right, people tend to kind of shape shift, especially in those early stages.

41:50So you first say, what's your philosophy on debt? And just shut up. Let them talk. Don't influence anything they're saying. You need to see this. You need to hear it. Then you go, okay, well, would you like to know mine? That's a great point. So Tyler, this feels like this is a massive, massive moment in this relatively young relationship. So step into it and let's see how this plays out. But you got a great head on your shoulders.

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43:56Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio alongside the incomparable, fabulous Jay Dworkshav. I'm just Ken. Coleman is the last name. Excited that you're with us. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225 is the number to jump in. All right, let's go to Jeff in Salt Lake City. Jeff, how can we help today? Thanks for having me. So I lost my job. I was a financial advisor. I lost my job back in June of 2025. I was without gainful employment for gosh almost five months um it took me took me five months to get hired on with another firm um and so now i am going i mean i still have not received a paycheck from my new job and the whole situation has just been really a disaster for um my family for my home life for my finances um okay how long i'm not even happy how long How long have you been at the new job?

45:09I hired on in November.

45:14And what is the reason? Okay. What is the reason for you starting last November and you still haven't received a paycheck? Trying to transition my old business over. When I was let go from my previous firm, probably half of my existing book of business was ready to move with me. And with everything taking so long, most of those clients have unfortunately moved on. What kind of business are you in? I'm a financial advisor. So you left one firm and you've signed up with another firm, but it's basically straight commission. You're just, they're a place for you to hang your hat, essentially. You couldn't continue to serve those others independently until you landed at another umbrella business?

46:10I could not. So I was terminated from that, from my original job. I had been with the firm for probably eight years. and when I was terminated, I mean, I had no, I mean, I could sit there and I could continue to contact them and talk with them, but ultimately they wanted somebody who could, you know. Like do the work. Okay. All right. So let's. I couldn't do that. All right. So for sake of time, let's get into what kind of disaster has happened so that we know what we're, and frame the question for us. So we need to know where you're at financially, but what can we help with specifically as you lay this out for us?

46:46Yeah. So we have blown through just about all of our savings. How much is left in savings?

47:00Maybe$10 ,000. $10 ,000. Okay. So how much debt do you have?

47:07I think we only have about$15 ,000 in debt. Okay. And when do you expect to make it? What's going on there? Are you finding new folks? Are you able to get the others fired back up again? What's the reality here? It's been very slow. Right now I'm pulling in about two clients a month. What were you doing before? What was your normal month for you before? I mean, before I managed to book a business of about$100 million. I mean, I was... Yeah, but she's asking, how much did you make? I was for 2025. I would have had I been had I remained employed, I would have made I would have made probably 300 ,000 that year.

47:50OK, oh, gosh. So you didn't really answer her question. When do you expect to actually get paid? I should get paid this month. How much? I don't think it's. It could be five thousand. Oh, boy. I'm way off of where I was. We only have 15 ,000 in debt, correct? Yeah. Okay, then what is your monthly budget that you just bare minimum to take care of all the important things? How much do you have to be bringing in? What is that number?

48:25I mean, to take care of everything. I mean, we've got three kids. We've got school tuition and all that stuff. I mean, we're probably at$10 ,000 a month is where I need to be. Okay. You need$10 ,000 a month. Can I ask a question? Um, what precludes you from being on your own as a financial advisor? What's the thing that stops you from just saying, Hey, I, Jeff, I'm my own man. I'm my own business. And I can just run my business versus being under an umbrella because you don't really with two clients, you don't really have the luxury of somebody taking a major piece of every chunk of money that you get.

49:00You see what I'm saying? So I am, I am considered independent at this point. I'm a 1099 advisor, whereas at my previous firm, I was W-2. Okay. And that firm was taking roughly 60 % of the cut. And what's this firm taking? They only take about 15%. Right. And my question remains, what's the benefit there for you? Because they're clearly not giving you leads. Correct. There are no leads. There are really no support. No, it's on you. I've got a good friend who just got into this business two years ago. A couple things here to fast forward this. You're not in a massive debt situation. That's the good news.

49:40Right. Your problem is your income. And you presented at the start of this call, like, there's some family stuff going on. But this is a point where you've got to make some money, like, right now. And you know how to build a book of business, yes or no? Yeah. All right, then. And then like, bro, we're in desperate. I don't have some magic pill of advice here. Three tips on how to win as a financial planner. You actually know how to do it. You've got to do it. Now, in the meantime, I don't know what's going on and we don't have time. And quite frankly, I don't think it matters as to why you got fired, what it's done to your home life, because you mentioned it.

50:20But if your wife can work and is not working, we're in a season where she needs to, because we have a$5 ,000 deficit that is hitting us really quickly and we only have$10 ,000 of savings left. So we're in go get it mode. Am I right, Jade? What am I missing? Well, I just want to remind you that you're the same guy who did$300 ,000 of income last year. You're that same guy. I don't think you remember that. Like talking to you, it feels like you've forgotten that you're that guy. And that's why I'm encouraging you. I don't think you need, you know, whatever this umbrella company is. I think you can just go out there.

51:00I think you can, in the words of Dave Ramsey, kill something, drag it home and eat it. And I think that you're getting too hung up on these other details. To Ken's point, you know how to build a book of business and you've done it before. Nothing is stopping you from doing it again. I think the last five months really dinged your self-esteem. But I mean, Ken, he's the same guy. Yeah. Jeff, I'll just ask a point blank question. This is a yes or no answer. Are you dealing with a lot of shame? Yeah. Yeah. Are you seeing a therapist? On and off. Okay. There's a book that I'm going to recommend to you and it's a heavy, heavy read, but it's worth reading.

51:40I've read it, am reading it. It's called Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw. It's considered the foremost book written on shame. I think it's really important that you grasp the concepts in that book as well as therapy. But you got to throw your shoulders back right now. We don't have time to be ashamed, but it's a real feeling and it's underneath there. But I really recommend that you read that book, that you lean in. But this is circle the wagons time with your wife let's go we can figure this out we absolutely can and now we must and and what I'm hearing is a guy who rightfully so is ashamed of himself we've all been there but man you have so much more to give you're going to learn a lot through this season so let's go man

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54:02All right, next we go to Coeur d 'Alene, Idaho. Alexandra is there. Alexandra, how can we help today? Hi, my husband and I love you guys. You guys helped us so much get out of student debt when we were first married. I'm calling because I have a question, but my husband and I were not in total agreement on how to spend money now that we're out of debt. We are on baby step four, and we're in the process of buying a home, and we're trying to do it the Ramsey way, but now that we're in a better spot just learning how to spend money now what it looks like um specifically my step-sister and my best friend are both getting married out of the country this year and i was hoping to attend their wedding even though doing so will be expensive and my husband feels like traveling like this is really like financially irresponsible oh but he said if i called you guys and got your permission that we could go so this is okay this is our favorite you You couldn't have, in my opinion, couldn't have got two better co-hosts today because we have disagreed on these things from time to time.

55:04And I'll just tell you, I'm usually more lenient. I don't know if we'll disagree this time. Jade, we don't know. It's starting off pretty good. Yeah, I heard baby step four, so it's already looking good for you. A couple quick clarifying questions. You said two weddings, yes? Yeah. Stepsister and best friend? Yes. Okay. And where are both weddings? One is in Italy and one is in Sri Lanka. Oh, shoot. Neither one of those are discount airlines. So that's going to make sense. Have you run the numbers on what these trips are going to cost, both together? I think together it would be about$10 ,000.

55:45What's the time frame? Are they both over the summer or are they spread out at all? One is in May and one is in August. Oh, Lordy. Which one's in May? The Italy one. Is that the best friend? No, that's the stepsister? Yes. Okay. Is Hubs included in this number? Is he going with you on both? He's going with me to one, not for the other, though, because we have a toddler, and we think it'd be too much for the toddler. Yeah. A hundred percent. So, by the way, just to clarify, it's$10 ,000 for you to go to both and him to go to one. Right. Which one is he going to? The one with my step-sister in Italy.

56:29Okay. Good choice, by the way. So the first one. Good choice. I like his choice. So do you have the money set aside? Not yet, but right now we do every dollar, and we have about$2 ,000 after retirement and all of our necessary expenses. So I think if we save for the next couple of months, we could easily save up for it, but we haven't done so yet. Okay. So I love solving these with what I'm going to call the financially responsible adult checklist, which is going to give you some freedom here. I'm glad you're doing this. I've already. I'm already. Ken's eyes roll back. I'm already ready to decide.

57:08I'm already ready. I've already decided. I mean, I think I have too, but I'm giving her the framework on how we arrived. This is good. So there's five things in the financially responsible adult checklist. Number one, are you a person who's on a budget? Yes. You mentioned every dollar beautifully several times. Check. Check. Check. Number two, are you a person who is out of debt and plans to stay out of debt? Check. Check. Number three, are you a person who carries the proper insurances? Now, this means, have you started your term life insurance? You've got a little one there. One of you depends on each other's income.

57:38If you haven't done that, you need to do that before you make this decision. Okay, let's get an answer. Where are we at on that one? We both have life insurance. Hey! Check. I had to lasso. Okay. That's number three. Next one is, are you a person who is saving for the future? Now this means three things. You've got your baby step one. You already did that. You've got baby step three in place. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's retirement, right? No, no. No, baby step three is three to six months of expense. Yes. Okay. She said they were on baby step four. Is that right? Okay. And you're actively doing the 15 % to retirement.

58:13Right. And are you actively putting something towards a down payment on a house? You mentioned that. Yes. We're in escrow right now, actually. Hey, yes. Okay. That's four out of four. That's four. And then there's a fifth one. The fifth one on the financially responsible list is, are you prioritizing generosity? Yeah, we tithe. Listen, that's all you need. That's all you need. Everything else is you just got paying cash. Alexandra, the tough one to get through is going to always be Jade. She's just tougher than me. She just is. No surprise there. I lift with weights, Kim. Yes, you do. And showing off the guns again.

58:48So the fact that you guys can actually cash flow this, This is a no-brainer. Tell Hubs that you have two yeses. Yes. And this is an American Idol, so you only need two. In the words of Clubber Lang, ding, ding. Ding, ding. I love the Rocky reference. Fantastic. Alexander, it sounds like it's going to be a blast. Have fun. Oh, thank you. Yeah. And good for you, by the way. Love that you guys... And by the way, let's just be very clear to our greater audience here. She doesn't need our permission. We're having a little bit of fun with this. but I love that you listen to Jade walk through those five boxes.

59:24That's fantastic. And in this case, I love too that they were like, I'll go to the one in Sri Lanka and I'll stay back. That's great. You don't always have to both be there. Yeah, you don't have to do that. It's the thought that counts. Plus, let's be honest. Does any man ever want to go to a wedding, Ken? No, I've been very clear on this. No dude ever wants to go. Even a destination wedding. The destination doesn't zing it up for you? No. In fact, if Stacey said to me tonight, hey, we've been invited to a wedding in Barbados. You love Barbados. I love and been to Barbados. But I would be in, but slightly irritated.

1:00:03And if she said to me, well, you don't have to go to the ceremony, then I would be like, oh, I'm totally in. Right. Now you're just her sidekick. Yeah. I'm just travel buddy. Yeah, travel buddy. We're there in Barbados. I don't have to go to the ceremony. But if you say, you got to go to the ceremony, I'm telling you, I have a bad attitude about going to Barbados. And this is my point example, which I shouldn't have ever. Now, what if it was all you have to do is go to the reception? Does that change it? No ceremony, only reception. No one's ever asked me this before. Yeah. That does change it.

1:00:41Yeah, because I think I don't have to sit through the ceremony and all the formalities. Straight to the drink? Straight to the wedding cake? Yeah. Well, my follow-up question is, is there rum at the reception? There better be. It's in Barbados. Then I'm in. There you go. Columbia, South Carolina is where we go next. Kevin is waiting. Kevin, how can we help? Yes. I've got a scenario here, and we're trying to figure out. We bought a home one year ago. We put 10 % down at 7%. We then sold our other home, and we have now, we have one year they said you can recast. We have$200 ,000 cash right now in the bank that we're looking at putting in, recasting or refining the current to bring down the mortgage, get rid of PMI, all that good stuff.

1:01:28But in our new home, we're also looking at possibly holding maybe$50 ,000 cash aside because there's certain things we'd like to do home improvements, like a retaining wall, a fence, additional parking spots, things like that. And if we want to make a good, wise financial decision on return on investments and putting our money in the best place possible, we want to know what your advice would be and what we should consider. Okay. Let me just make sure I understood it back. You talked really fast. I think I got all of it. There were two houses, one sold, now there's only one. The most expensive one, you want to put$200 ,000 possibly to recast it so the payment's lower.

1:02:05Did I catch it? We have, yes, there was two. We sold one. Exactly. Now we want to recast as much as possible out of that$200 ,000. But you're thinking maybe hold back$50 ,000 for the improvements? We're kind of thinking hold back$50 ,000 because we have some home improvement ideas, but we want to make sure we don't overbuild the neighborhood. I want to know do I get this money back or is it better to put it in to recasting the current house? So tell me, Well, really, most of this rides greatly on the recast. If you put the whole$200 ,000 on the recast, is it going to get your monthly payment where it needs to be?

1:02:4425 % of your take-home? It currently is already. Our mortgage is currently within 25 % of our take-home pay currently. Already. So then what's the purpose of recasting? Why wouldn't you just apply it towards the principal and just pay down the house? um well they said if you recast is what we were told if you recast within a year you can put that money and it'll it'll lower the month the mortgage payment as well it will but less interest it will but less money will go to the principal so what by you doing that you're kind of shifting everything towards um if you just had a smaller payment the smaller payment means less goes to the principal and the less goes to interest or the same amount goes to interest so you're robbing your principal payment at that point.

1:03:33So that's why I wouldn't do that. I would just apply it to the principal if you want to pay the mortgage down.

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1:04:45All right, I want to do a quick follow-up, Jade. I know you wanted to say a little bit more about our last caller to do some clarification. Yeah, I want to talk about the recasting because we don't get that call a lot. And it's actually an interesting thing that you could put a lump sum. Let's pretend you have a mortgage that's, you know, the payments, it's eating your lunch. It's a little too high. Maybe you come into a lump sum of money. Maybe you've just been able to save up somehow, some way, whatever. You come across 20, 30, 40. And in his case, it was$200 ,000 that he wanted to, instead of do what we teach, which is apply a principal payment, extra payment, and just lower the principal, the entire balance completely, he wanted to recast it, which basically what it does, let's pretend he bought the house for$400 ,000.

1:05:31I think he told us it was at 7%. When you recast it, the lump sum would go directly to there. And so they're now, they're recasting the balance at the new amount. So it'd be at $200 ,000, but the terms are still the same. So it'd still be at 7%. It'd still be on a 30-year mortgage. So I suggested what I suggested, which is only put it towards the principal, don't recast, because the point here is to pay the thing off fast. Like, we want you to pay the mortgage off. If he recasts it, since the terms are the same, it's still on a 30-year or a 15-year, whatever he had, and it's not going directly in that way.

1:06:10So if he wanted to, and I'm not saying that this is the best thing. If he did recast it and then he still paid the mortgage as though it was the old mortgage, that could kind of be a move. But really the only benefit there I could see is like, I don't know, it's almost like a contingency. Like if I fell on hard times, my payment would be lower. But that's not really the Ramsey way. The better way here is to go for the principal, go for paying off the mortgage, saving time. Time is of the essence. So you can take that money and later on use it to build other types of wealth. Love it. All right.

1:06:45Great clarification there. The number to jump in, 888-825-5225. Kate is up next in Newark, New Jersey. Kate, how can we help? Yes. Hi. Ken and Jade, first of all, I want to say thank you so much for taking my call. I'm nervous. Oh, don't worry. We are on your team. We're going to take good care of you. thank you so much um you're my favorite duo by the way i listen to you guys every day well now we're gonna be extra nice now look what you've done what's going on how can we help my question is um so real quick i'll just give you a question and then whatever details you need just ask uh the question i have is um i don't know if we'll be able to continue making house payments because my husband is a spendthrift and we can't keep up with our monthly minimums due to how much debt he's racked up in the year that we've had, that we've bought our house.

1:07:47And now we are paycheck to paycheck. Okay. We're a house poor. What has he racked up? $12 ,000 in credit card debt in a year. Okay. What is the minimum payment on that$12 ,000? So it's all different. It's six different, actually seven different credit cards. Oh, okay. The monthly minimums, yeah, are about$715 a month for all of them. What's your mortgage payment? $3 ,138. What's your combined incomes? So I'm not currently working. Well, I'm a stay-at-home mom. He makes net$140 ,000 a year. Okay. And is he feeling this weight? We know you are. Is he feeling this? And I don't think he's feeling it as much as, he's definitely not feeling it as much as I am, but I laid it all in front of him basically to show him like how, like everything on paper.

1:08:49And he kind of bought it, I think, but this was back in November. And at the time he had agreed he loves Klarna and Sezzle. and um i don't i hate them but uh he thinks that it's fine to pay the do the paying for things um because no interest right or whatever so um he agreed in november not to spend on those for christmas gifts and i thought that we were on the same page he had agreed and come to find out he actually did use clarinet and suzzle and he actually just finished paying off the last payment this past week, but we almost weren't able to make our car payment. We had to try to get scrounge around for cash to pay for our car payment.

1:09:36So this was very recent, and I want to get Jade involved here, but I'm just kind of gathering some more information here. What were the comments? What has the conversation been? We know what happened in November. Now, here we are just the other day scrambling around for quarters, if you will, to make a car payment. What was the conversation then?

1:09:59um he's it's almost like he doesn't really want to have the conversation like he it's almost like he's digging his head in the sand he doesn't want to face the consequences okay and a little backstory um he is a recovering alcoholic okay um and i i really truly believe that the spending it's because yeah it's what's rip-based it's a replacement that changes the equation um jade i know you've got thoughts. I want you to weigh in here for her. Well, I mean, definitely the reveal of the past alcoholism plays a big role in this. I wonder, would he be open? Have you said that to him that you're, this is your fear and this is how you're perceiving this?

1:10:42I have said it to him. We actually are in marriage counseling. We're in individual counseling. Great. Okay, good. Which thankfully it's covered by our insurance. We have, he has very good insurance with his job and we are in marriage counseling, but so far it, we're working on addressing it, but it's like slow going. It's not getting anywhere. It's getting, yeah, it's very slow going. Okay. Yeah. I mean, we can talk about numbers, but this really is just beyond a numbers equation. I mean, just really quickly, I can tell you, uh, your mortgage is 35 % of your take-home pay. It seems like, which is already a little high.

1:11:20I mean, it's nothing to like freak out over, But when you add 715 bucks a month of credit card debt, yeah, you're going to feel it. So that's the mechanics, you know, numbers wise of why you're feeling this a little bit more. But the truth is, until he gets a handle on why he's spending and what the issue is, it's going to be a problem. Now, I don't know if you've suggested this in counseling. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. If I were in your shoes, what I would bring to my counselor is this. I would say I believe clearly my husband has struggled with addiction. I think that he has found a way to not use alcohol anymore, but I feel like it's shifted to spending.

1:11:59And because of that, I'm starting to think that maybe for a season I should be the one to handle the finances since his addiction seems to be functioning in our money. Do you handle those problems? I had a question about that anyway. It's a very good point. Do you handle the finances or is he? so interesting you say that i have been asking to do the budgeting and everything as a partnership together so far he has not really wanted to do it he just wants me to do it but at the same time i think that's good just recently he just recently put his direct deposit into the joint account up to now literally last week good um it hasn't been so he finally put in a joint account and he, he has kind of like washed his hands of it.

1:12:44He's like, doesn't want to do it anymore. He left it all to me. That is great news. Now I want to jump in really quick because our time is limited. Practically speaking, do you both have car payments or is it just one? I thought I heard a car payment. It's just, it's just his. Yeah. Mine is paid off. Okay. Cause I'm wondering what you can start to do since he's taking the hands off. So we need to look at selling that car. That's going to be a tough conversation, but I'm looking at what are some quick things. I get it. I get it. It's why I acknowledged may not be the right one to go after right now.

1:13:12But with you now taking over the finances, what can you do? Can you cancel the credit cards? If your name's on them, you cancel the credit cards today. Let's make this a real pain for him. Jade, I want to bring you back into that. You got about a minute. What would you practically do if you were her? I would I would make it more formal. I love that he shifted it that way. But I would almost like I said, with your counselor, decide the best way to do this. He doesn't need access to the money on his own. He just doesn't because he's proven that he can't control spending. And that is an addiction.

1:13:44Spending is an addiction, especially it looks like it in his case. And so I would take a little tougher stance on that and say, OK, I when you say I'm in charge of the money, that means I'm going to distribute in the way that I'm going to distribute it, which this is only for a season until you're going to distribute it. You can get well again, and then we'll be really 50-50 on this again. And I would take a pretty strong stance on that because your family, their safety is at stake and so is yours.

1:14:50All right, tax season is here. I know. Gave you all collective indigestion, but you got to do it. You've got to get a free checklist, by the way, and guides from us. And this is at RamseySolutions.com slash taxes. So, again, the checklist and the guides that help you file make the right decisions, get the right people on your team, depending on your unique situation. RamseySolutions.com slash taxes. Edwin is up next in Minneapolis. Edwin, how can we help? Hey, guys. Hey, thanks for taking my call. Well, I am in the middle of maybe deciding to make a huge career change. As in, I currently am self-employed on my family dairy farm.

1:15:41I own all the cows and rent the land. But I'm not sure if that's where I'm supposed to be. and I am looking to maybe go do a change of career to firefighting out west or something along that line. Okay. I'm going to step in here, Edwin, and I'm going to take a guess. Tell me if I'm wrong, that you absolutely know deep down that you're not supposed to be running the dairy farm. True or false? yeah i don't i can't answer that specifically why i do i do i do love the animals and it is maybe something to do with the fact that i'm the youngest and i sort of felt that i was supposed to take it but okay let me reword it a different way okay let's say that that might Let's say that right now, in my ear, Kelly, who's producing our show today, she says, Hey, Ken, we just got a call from this fire department out west, and they need someone like Edwin.

1:16:51They got a great job for him right now. Edwin, how do you react to that emotionally? Well, I couldn't take it right now. I didn't ask you that. Edwin, you got it. Hold on a second. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I would want to take it. Okay. What would your heart do? I'm pretty excited. Okay. It's a simple question. I understand we have realities, but this is why you called the show today. And so, okay, so let's keep playing this out. Your heart would be going crazy, but you'd have to unwind some things on the dairy farm, true or false? Right. I would have to figure out a way to keep it going or make sure that it's not just going to fall apart.

1:17:36How would you do that? Keep it high level. Don't get in the weeds. What would you have to accomplish for that to be the fact? Find somebody to run it or create a partnership with my brothers that are still in the area, but they would have to sacrifice to do that as well. And then all of a sudden it becomes about Edwin, and I'm not sure that I like doing that to my family. Okay. Is this entire business on your shoulders? Did somebody tell you that? if dad owns the land i am in charge of everything running it i own the cows like i'm charged the incomes expenses everything is on my shoulders okay but that's not your dad's business your dad owns the land the land is valuable whether there's milk cows on there or not true or false yep okay true so if you shut the thing down okay well this is horrible but it's going to make my point if you get hit by a bus today dad's land dad doesn't lose a nickel on the land true or false oh that would be true so whose business is the dairy business the dairy business is mine 100 and edwin doesn't want to be in the dairy business but you've calculated this thing and you've you've tied your responses to the fact that if you go chase your dream and do what you really want to do and fight fires out west that you're somehow letting the family down but best i can tell by your words jade if i missed something i don't think so that this is actually your business to decide what you want to do with true or false true so it feels like however it would uh it would definitely cut my cut me off probably from my family why Why would they be so affected?

1:19:23My dad would not be happy. Why? My dad would not be happy. He spent his whole life building this thing up. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You just told us that the dairy business is yours. He just has the land. He's just been offering the land. Yeah. I mean, like he literally sold me the cows and like nobody else on the family is technically at home. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And he's trusting me with it all. Edwin, stop. you paid your dad a fair price for the cows i did yeah he didn't give them to you no he didn't i i gotta tell you i'm not sure that you're correct i think you're scared to death to leave your family and you've concocted some drama that may not be true is that possible that that is possible well i'm gonna tell you working with my brothers on this but Well, what do they say about all this?

1:20:17Well, they're both on the fence of you should go, and then there's some that say you should stay home. All right, I think the time has come on this call. All right, Edwin, I think the time has come on this call to where you need to hear a different voice. And my kids, I could tell them everything, the gospel truth, great wisdom, and they'd not listen to me. And a coach or a teacher tells them, and they listen. So I'm checking out because I've already walked you through. I didn't even tell you anything. I walked you into a corner. You're terrified. You're terrified and you're letting your fear all of a sudden become a rationale for you to not leave.

1:20:55I'm going to bring Jade in, who's been listening the entire time. She's the voice you need to hear. Jade, I give you the balance of my time. I really think that you are well. Yeah, Ken has nailed it. I'm only going to reiterate what he said. I think you're well within the bounds to pursue firefighting. I think it is your business. Therefore, you get to decide what happens with it. It sounds like you know what that would look like or what that could look like. And it's okay. I also, if you are correct in what you think might happen as far as the reactions of your family, they get to react. And you can't control what their reaction is.

1:21:33And it's not your job to control what their reaction may or may not be. You can speculate about it, but you can't control it. And you certainly can't let someone else's reaction of what they think you should be doing with your life stop you. You can't cry over spilled milk. Very true. Yeah, that's right. You can't do that. I mean, I've been sitting there. I mean, what are we doing here? I think mom and dad will be proud. I think the fact that your brother's told you to do it. And here's the other side of this, Edwin, and we've said this a million times on this show. If you don't do this. Yeah, I know.

1:22:08I've heard it. Okay. Well, then you know what I'm about to say. If you don't do this for the reasons that you've given us, you're going to end up resenting people that you care so deeply about. That you, by the way, just made an assumption about. Or what? I will regret myself for not taking a leap and do that. I went ahead of that. The resentment becomes of the regret. So regret hits us first. Yeah, that's true. And then we start looking for places to put the blame on. And we put the blame on the family members who actually never had the power, as Jade so beautifully said. So my point is, I jumped ahead.

1:22:43Resentment comes after regret. Yeah, that's very true. Listen, man. Eat more chicken. Sell them dairy cows. Let's go. I got no puns left. That's all I got. I only had two. I don't hear a lot of puns. But I think you got to do it. Edwin, I'm as serious as I can be for a moment. You're a young man who has a feeling in your heart. The reason I started off this call, and Jade's heard me do this 100 ,000 times, and I do it privately too. The test is always the heart test. You cannot put enough value on how your heart and your body feel. And if anybody's ever felt it, the call to something or a draw to something, it is undeniable.

1:23:26Is it not, Jade? You can't stop it. You cannot stop it. So what say you, Jake? Always there, Poland. What say you is, who cares if your dad has a cow over you selling this business? That's it. You got to move on. Look what you did. See, I had nothing left and you came in over the top. The puns are flying. The puns are flying. Because the truth is so clear. It's time to move forward. And by the way, this is your life. It's your life. It's your life. You got to make the calls for your life, man. And, boy, you're going to go out there and you're going to do some great work out west. I hear the excitement already in his voice.

1:24:03I do, too. I feel like you feel a little lighter. Right? Yeah. No, it's definitely. And listen, if you want to keep one of the cows, keep one of the cows. I think it would be so cool to have a pet dairy cow. Oh, yeah. They're great looking animals. Keep the ones with the bangs, the bangs in their face. They were always my favorite cows at the fair. Oh, yeah, they're sweet. The dairy cows. And here you are making a sandwich out of it, Ken. I'd moo if I could.

1:24:48Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. I'm Ken Coleman. Jade Warshaw is alongside. The phone number is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. Toby's up next in Phoenix, Arizona. Toby, how can we help? Well, I have built up some debt. I'm 62 years old and about ready to claim Social Security. But I have about$79 ,000 in debt. And I got a letter from consolidating to consolidated by stopping your credit cards. and so that was the first question i've kind of listened over and looked at the show it doesn't you know like that's a bad idea from what i hear you guys saying or is it a bad idea or i own three houses okay tell us about one of those houses i'm gonna go short answer likely yes short answer yes debt consolidation it is not the answer to this situation.

1:25:52It rarely, I would never suggest it as the answer. The reason is what it's doing is something you could do, which is not pay your debts, pull the money. And then when they're ready to settle, now you can make a settlement. That's all they're doing. And they're just doing with fees attached. So you don't need help doing that. Tell us about the three houses because your solution is likely there. Well, the thing is I have renters and I rented forever. forever. And to sell one of the houses, I'd have to be putting a family out. That's true. And they really aren't in that position. And so far, I haven't been able to do it.

1:26:30And I have problems there just because they have five kids. Are your prices competitive or are you giving them some sort of a deal that they wouldn't be able to get elsewhere? I'm probably very, I'm very low on that house that I would sell. Okay, let's go to the other two. Let's set that one aside. We appreciate your heart. What about the other two houses? Give us the numbers. One house spends for$1 ,350. It would sell for$170 ,000. How much would you make on that? Oh, I don't owe anything on the houses. Okay, so it's all profit. That's house number two. Let's go to house number three. um house number three is it's basically a rental apartment but it's a home um but it's not very big how much is it worth if you sold it today how much would you pocket it's on my property on my house where i own a house okay so i i couldn't sell that part of it you know what i'm saying it's just a spare house okay so and you just happened to figure out a way just just for the heck of it.

1:27:41What is the house that the family of five or the family of seven with five kids, how much is that house worth? Down the street, one other house worth for 170. Okay. This is a no-brainer to me, Ken. Can I ask a question before you, because I know what you're going to do. I just am curious. For a guy who's got two cash houses, why do you have$79 ,000 in debt? I spend too much. But you paid off these other houses, right? Well, I paid off the other houses a while ago. Basically, I paid cash. I turned in my retirement when it dropped so much in 2008. I got upset that they took all that money. I lost a lot.

1:28:31And so I took the rest of it, paid the fees, and bought these houses. Oh, gosh. So you have nothing in a 401k? Oh, I have nothing, no. Understood. So your income will be, then go back and tell me again, what's the rent from house number one with the family of five? What's your rent on that? What do you take? $1 ,100. And what goes away in fees and upkeep? What do you actually pocket as profit from that house? um there's not much fees and i haven't been much fees and update over the last couple years well i mean certainly you take some certainly you take money out in case the ac goes out or in case it needs a repair i'm a plumber okay so i kind of fix things i own a pump a plumbing so for round numbers for round numbers i'll use the 1100 but i want to encourage you to know what the numbers are less upkeep because that's going to give you a clearer picture of how well this is doing.

1:29:34Tell me the rent on number three, the one that's on your property. A thousand. A thousand. So, so far we've got 2100. And what's it take? Are you going to be drawing, you said you're going to draw social security here soon. What will that be? Yes. 2000. 2000. Do you think you can hold on until later so you can get a higher amount? No. I've already signed up for it. I don't know. Some health problems. I'm not sure. I want to wait. Are you currently employed? Okay. I work for myself. I own a plumbing business. Okay, great. What do you pay yourself out of the plumbing business?

1:30:20I basically don't know. I pay for the plumbing parts and the plumbing bills, and then I pay my taxes. Are you busy? Are you busy? I work as much as I want every day. I don't push it as hard as I used to. Because you're healthy. Well, you got no retirement. You got no retirement. So you need to sell at least one of these houses and clear up the debt. And then, Jade, walk you through. You've got to start reinvesting in now. Yeah. So, I mean, here's the thing. We need real numbers. I have a feeling, obviously, you don't have a budget. what I'm gathering is you're bringing in somewhere around$4 ,000 to$4 ,100 a month, plus whatever plumbing you do.

1:31:02We don't know what that amount is. The equation we need is how much does it cost for you to run your lifestyle minus the debt, because we're going to pay the debt off. So we need to find out how much does it take to keep the lights on, keep the water going, keep food on the table, keep the vehicles running. If it's$4 ,100, you're okay, and you can make this work. What I would suggest is just what Ken said. We're going to sell house number two and we're going to take the, you know, 79 of the 100 ,000 and we're going to pay off the debt. And then you're going to take 90 ,000. And I would say keep three to six months of expenses out.

1:31:39Keep that in a high yield savings account. And then the rest, you're going to plop it in some nice mutual funds. And if you can, after this call, go to RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor, I believe is what it is. And I want you to get with a smart investor pro because investing some of this money is going to be helpful for you. It's not going to be the break free point for you. I think at this point for you keeping these paid for real estate is going to help you live. You can't afford to sell these just yet. So keeping the rent on him is probably going to be a good move for you. And if you get to the point where you can no longer be a landlord, you're selling those and you're popping those into a 401k, I'm sorry, into a Roth IRA as well.

1:32:29Really? So you don't think you should sell one to clear the 79? If he sells it, he doesn't have any income. I told him to... Oh, he's got income. No, no, no. I told him to sell number two. Okay, good. I'm talking about the other two, the one that's on his property. He can't sell that one anyway. I agree. But I would tell you, the one with a family of seven with five kids, appreciate your heart, but they need to at least be paying market rent. That's true. And then at the same time, if you need to unload that to take care of yourself, you can give them plenty of advance notice to where you're not kicking them out.

1:33:03That's true. That's true. You can't just be the, you know, whatever you've fashioned yourself to be this hero here. It doesn't make you a bad guy. there's a way to go about it in a way that does not make life for them really uncomfortable and stressful. But that's something to be thinking about. And I agree, you need to sit with a Smart Investor Pro tomorrow and begin to plot out your future.

1:33:37It's that time again, folks. Tax season is here. I know some of you would rather bury your head in the sand until April 15th than face your taxes. But here's a better idea. If your tax situation is complicated, get in touch with a Ramsey Trusted Tax Pro today. That way they can take the stress off your shoulders once those tax forms come in and teach you how to keep your tax bill as low as possible. But don't wait. Ramsey Trusted Pros can book up fast. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash tax pro to find one who serves your area with excellence. That's RamseySolutions.com slash tax pro.

1:34:34All right, the Ramsey Show question of the day is sponsored by Why Refi. If your private student loans are in default and other lenders said no, Why Refi could be your next step. Why Refi was built for this situation, helping borrowers refinance with a low fixed rate and an affordable payment so you can get back to winning with money. Check out yrefy.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey. It may not be available in all states. All righty. Today's question comes from Ashley in South Dakota. She says, Jade, Jade mentioned on a recent show that her husband saves his personal fund money out of their budget to make larger purchases.

1:35:14What are the logistics of that? How and where is allocated money set aside and tracked so he knows how much he has in that fund if it's not spent each month? Okay. And I know how he does this. You do. You might could take this part, Kim. Okay. I would just go out on the limb and just say, this is what Sam and I do. Okay. This is how it goes in the Warshaw household. You know, don't at me. Okay. So on the budget, we have a certain amount of money, um, fun money. One line is for Jade and one line is for Sam. It's the same amount for each of us. It's there every single month. And it used to be for the longest, if you didn't use it, you'd lose it.

1:35:59It's like, if you don't use it, it's going to roll into savings. It's going to roll, it's going to go somewhere so you may i always use mine but sam was really bad about using it and so he finally was like i'm going to pull this money out and just stack it up because he's the type a he has expensive taste ken coleman i know and it's not leave me he likes things that one month of fun money can't buy okay yeah and that's fine so he stacks it up i'll be on i'm gonna be dead honest with you i don't know where he puts it you don't it's somewhere in the house i totally know where he does where is it it's in a drawer it's in the sock drawer i think so okay don't quote me on the socks but uh he and i were hanging out recently i think this may have how this came up on the show he pulled off a great surprise for the fan he did he did i don't want to reveal stuff i'm not allowed to reveal but he and i were talking about it i knew about it ahead of time and he told me he was like this is this is really an expensive surprise and i said dude you're making memories and he did yeah he did but it was because he stacks it yeah in that drawer wherever the drawer is and then he was like oh it's months and months months and months sam has always been a squirrel since i've met him he he stacks cash that is what he does i'm the spender well anyway uh yeah he stacks it up i'm sure as far as the question how does he know how much he has i think he's just counting it like i think he revisits it every once in a while uh-huh i bet you he counts it when he adds to it yeah he probably does he has a ballpark idea yeah he probably keeps a ballpark idea in his head and when he feels like he's getting close he probably counts it now i jade could care less i'm telling you right now i don't know how much money he has over there i don't care if i went home today and said i want to know how much money you have show me where it is he would do all of those things so it's not even a question um and i know like he was saving up he wants to buy a golf cart he was saving up to do that yeah he saved up and bought the he and He can buy whatever he wants.

1:37:55He saved up and bought a real life replica Ninja Turtle suit from the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in the 90s. Like off the lot. Yeah. Not a replica. Like legit costume. Legit. That an actor would have worn on the movie. Yeah. It's on display in his office. It's unbelievable. It's pretty crazy. But what was great is, this is a great story because he said to me, he goes, do you think this is insane? And he told me how much the thing was going to cost. And I go, do you have the cash sitting in your drawer? He goes, yeah, and then some. I was like, what are we talking about? This is a done deal.

1:38:28Because it was months and months of a line item that stacked up, and then it was also something that made memories. I literally was like, what are we talking about? You have to do it. Yes, great. And he did. So anyway, that's how he does it. That's how he does it. It's not real scientific. And I think it is on par with how fun money should be spent. Like, who says it has to be all? Right. It's not an FSA. And your personalities are different. So if we mean it and we put it in the budget, then it's yours today and you spend yours every month. I have a little bit saved. All right. Let me ask a question and you can choose not to answer.

1:39:05But I think America would like to know. Give us an example or two of something you have recently bought with your fun money. Oh, boy. Whether you saved or you went all in on something very small and reasonable. I don't remember the last thing I bought. It was probably some clothing or shoe item. Like it's usually clothes or shoes. Okay, well, there it is. But I'm about to buy a hair dryer. It's$500. And I'm saving up for it. Yeah, it's called the Rev Air and it's amazing. Is this one that you sit under a la the 1970s? No, it works the opposite. It works like a vacuum. So it sucks your hair in and then you don't, like there's no tension.

1:39:45It sucks your hair into the tube. Sorry, what I'm doing with my hands is not helping. And then it dries inside? Yeah. And then it comes out dry and straight And you can set it on settings. So if you have your curly hair, it keeps your hair curly. If you have straight, it straightens it out. Does the owner's manual recommend that you do that with another adult present? No. Your emergency contact? You can do it. It sounds a little risky to me. The way you described. Excellent. Sucking in your hair. What happens if it takes your ear off? It's gentle. It's gentle. But that's what I'm saving my fun money for.

1:40:15So the point here is, guys, you need fun money on your budget, number one, if you're beyond baby step two and three. And it's okay to save it up. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Do you support this message? Oh, 100%. And I support the fact that you're taking on a somewhat physically risky hairdryer. I promise it's all right. I'm a little concerned about it. But as long as, again, Sam is around. He's around. He'll be all right. He can help out if something goes awry. Melissa is up next in Chicago. Melissa, how can we help? Hi, I have a question about a student loan debt, but it is not my student loan. My daughter is 27, and she's been graduated for a few years now, and I know her loans are in forbade.

1:41:06And while she was growing up, I was a single mom. I'm still single, but I had one income, and I wasn't able to help her save a lot for college. So I'm in a better position now, and I really want to come up with a plan to help her pay these off, but make it motivating for her to do so. So financially, you know, her being an adult, me being a mom, like where should I go with that? Like offering her money or I just don't know how to quite make her because she hasn't been paying on them because she's a teacher and she's in the low income category right now. So she's kind of been burying her head in the sand.

1:41:41And I've been listening to you for like four months now and student loans, student loans. And I feel like I skipped over that baby step because I wasn't able to do it at the time. And now I can help a little bit. So I don't know where I should step, how far I should step into this. Well, I love that you're. She hasn't asked for any help, might I add. She's never asked for any help on this. I mean, I love the heart that you would even want to help. I think that's very sweet and very kind. My first order of business, it would be to determine if you're in a position to help. So how old are you? 47.

1:42:16Okay. And tell us about your financial snapshot. Do you have any debt? I have no debt. No debt. It's my home. Great. And emergency fund saved up? Six months. Love that for you. And you're actively investing the 15 %? Correct. Okay. And so, I mean... I'm going to jump in real quick because we only have about 30 or 40 seconds. The question I have is, is how much income above and beyond your expenses do you have flexibility with every month? I have probably$1 ,500. Good. Flexible. And that's what you would spend or what would you give her? I travel a lot. I travel. Hey, no shame in your game. So tell Jade, what are you thinking?

1:42:59Tell Jade what you think you're going to contribute, what you've thought about. I was thinking I say, hey, let's get going. Whatever you put down, I will match 50%. I want you to have some skin in the game, but you need to start. She's got about$32 ,000. I like the matching thing because it incentivizes her to make payments as well. My only caveat on this is you must make the payment directly to the debt. We're not going to just give her the money. Okay. Okay. So get a hold of all of her information to do that directly. Yep. and she makes the payment first and you make the payment second. Okay.

1:43:36That way it's on the up and up. That's a pro tip there. I like that. Pro tip. That is. That's why she's in that chair there. I love that. Hey, Melissa, you're a good mom. Thanks for calling. Yeah, I'm really good. I think Jade gave you some great advice. I would walk that out to a T.

1:44:23Hey guys, what's up? It's Jade and I'm pumped for the new year and I hope you are too. But the problem is most people start the new year with a lot of promises and no real plan. You know how it is. I'm going to save money or I'm going to get my financial act together. But without a plan, you just wing it and hope it works out. Listen, don't play yourself. I want you to win. And our EveryDollar app is the game changer you need. In 15 minutes, EveryDollar helps you build a plan based on where you're at with money right now. And every day, the app coaches you with ways to find extra money so you can beat debt and build wealth faster.

1:45:01It's like having me in your pocket, helping you stay on track all year long. So don't just wish your money works out. You can be the one to actually make it happen this year. Download the EveryDollarBudget app and get started right now for free.

1:45:32All right, let's go to Lisa in Las Vegas. Lisa, how can we help? Hi, thanks for taking my call today. You bet. What's going on? So I have a question. I've been remarried. This is my second marriage. Same for him. We've been married four years, and he still refuses to combine finances no matter what comes at us. He was recently laid off after being at a company for 25 years. about four months ago. And after that, he still refuses to combine finances. So I don't know. My question is, how do I move forward despite that decision? So first things first, if he's not making an income, how is he living if he refuses to combine finances?

1:46:15He's getting unemployment. And recently, I did not know he was gambling. Oh, gambling? So Tom, like, well, I didn't know this until he won$50 ,000, like, 30 days ago. Uh-huh. So he's living out for that. What kind of gambling are we talking about? He bets, I guess, online for the football game. Sports betting. Man, that's a problem. Okay. That makes this make more sense. When you were first talking, Lisa, I had the thought. I thought people who don't want transparency are generally trying to hide something. not always but a lot of times that's especially if they're like adamant about it then they gaslight you and say well i don't trust you yeah okay so this is a big deal any type of um i i don't know if it's an addiction i mean gambling in and of itself you know it's it can be fine to place a bet on something obviously but it seems it seems like there could be more than meets the eye to his gambling simply because it's been used as a front to keep you out of his business financially.

1:47:28So you... Say again? I feel like he's not gambling like thousands and thousands. How do you know? He's just not lucky this time. Based on the income that he makes, and he still pays all the bills for like about a year ago, I was like, you know what? If you're not going to save, I'm done paying any bills. How do you know he's not taking out debt? I checked his credit score. Okay. Okay. Okay. So there is some transparency. Yeah. Okay. What do you think? You know him better than Ken and I. What do you think is the reason that he doesn't want to combine finances? Is it he got burned in his previous marriage?

1:48:08Not necessarily. I don't think so. It just didn't work out. He just says he doesn't trust me. And I just want to give you like a little glimpse of what my financial situation looks like. When I came into marriage, I had just finished building a triplex. And since getting married, I've paid it off because it was pre-marriage. So I get income off of that. I work two jobs just because I like it, not because I have to. So it's not like... You're a hard worker. Is there anything relationally that would give him reason not to pot? Like, can you think of, and you don't have to tell us if there is exactly what it is, but is there anything relationally that could cause him to go, I'm not sure if I trust her?

1:48:53If there is, it's just something that he has to work through, not necessarily something I've given him to hold it against me. But do you know of anything that could be there? Even if it's his to work through, do you know of what that could be? And again, you don't have to say it specifically, but how? Not really. I mean, I haven't done anything, you know, to make him feel insecure that I'm going to steal all the money. Does he tell you the reason he doesn't trust? If you ask him straight up, hey, what is the reason that you don't trust me? What is it? What does he tell you? Because I wouldn't combine finances in the beginning, but I had no money in the beginning, so there was really nothing to combine.

1:49:31Got it. So that leads me to, did you guys discuss this at all before you got married? So we did. And we did open a chicken account in the beginning to combine our finances. But again, I wasn't putting any money in it because I had no money when we met. But he wanted to combine finances when you got married? Yeah, he was open to it. But little by little, he started putting his work money into another account. And little by little, that communal account stopped being used. So it's kind of like we went back. But every time I downloaded the app. I want to go back to that because I feel like I heard a couple of different things.

1:50:14First, you said he doesn't trust me because in the beginning he wanted to combine finances and I didn't. Then it changed to, well, I would have, but I didn't have any money. Then it changed to, well, he stopped putting money in the account. Right. So already that story shifting has me has a question mark over my head over over what's really going on. How are you guys really talking about money? how is he perceiving what you're saying in your actions? Because I'll be honest, I'm having a hard time perceiving it myself. I agree. If he was on the phone with us, the first thing I would have said after hearing all this is you guys need to go sit with a marriage therapist who is objective and guiding you both at the same time.

1:50:58You guys, you're like ships in the night a little bit. There's some stuff going on. You both come from previous marriages. you gotta own it and go we aren't on the same page and if we don't get on the same page this is gonna fall apart so now's a good time doesn't sound like things are completely on fire but yeah you guys just you just don't sound like you're doing marriage the way that it's supposed to be done and that's just like hey we're actually trying doesn't mean we're perfect but we're trying to be on the same page and I just don't feel like that's happening and I think you need an impartial professional to help you get there.

1:51:36Yeah, I would agree with that. I don't think that this is a numbers or really a money conversation per se. Yeah. Yeah. And again, I think there's a bigger issue here and I'll put you on hold because I want Jade to teach to this. This is a good example of why we talk about combining incomes when you get married. It just, so let's go back. This is, It's almost like a refresher. Why do we teach it? And how does this call kind of play it out to where we go? This is the potential pitfalls, even though this is not, I don't think, a crisis yet. Yeah. So, I mean, there's the relational benefit, then there's the actual financial benefit, right?

1:52:16Financially, it makes sense. Two incomes are better than one. You know, two heads are better than one. You go further, faster together, right? That's just kind of like the headline version of that. I don't think anybody would really argue with that. Now, of course, much of those isms matter with who you married, right? If you married a ball and chain, you ain't going anywhere fast, right? So there's part, I understand that I want you to know I know that. So marrying the right person obviously matters to that equation. Then there's the relational side, which is why marrying the right person matters.

1:52:50The relational side, guys, is when you can combine finances, that means that there's a level of trust and a level of transparency in marriage that is needed to function properly. You can't function properly in marriage with someone you don't trust. You can't function properly in marriage with someone you wouldn't be willing to give your passcode to, that you wouldn't be willing to let them see all of your purchases. Because then you have to ask yourself, why am I hiding this? Why am I hiding this specifically from them? Why do they feel the need to hide from me? It unlocks so many questions within the relationship, which can be a good thing in this case.

1:53:29Sure. Because now we're starting to head on the path of realness. Because trust is a two-way street. Right. And I love how you're pointing this out because I could be sitting in this situation going, okay, I don't trust you. And then if we dive into it with a therapist, you go, well, what are the reasons you don't trust? And it's not something they've actually done. Yeah. It's something that has been done to you. Possibly, yes. That could be. Possibly, yes. It's not always that clean. But can we also talk about, and I want to say this with the caveat, I've only been married one time. Sam Walshaw is my only husband.

1:53:57Me too. But I do find - Well, except for the Sam being my, Stacey's my wife. Good clarity. I do find that on this show, we do find this a lot in second marriages. Yeah. And it's almost like there's a framework that we have for first marriages, but we don't carry that framework in, which is the all in. I'm in, I'm with this person, da, da, da, da, da. we don't carry that into the second marriage and it's due to hurt I'm sure or I got burned or man they really out did a number on me and I think you have to fight really hard if you're in that second marriage seat to honor the same vows and principles that marriage really is which is I am giving all of me to all of you and we are becoming one flesh that really is what marriage is about at the core.

1:54:45I heard John Legend in the background when you were saying that. Hit me. Hit me. All of me. I can't do John Legend. Not even a try. I was ready for it. No, it's terrible. I would just butcher it. But great advice. And that's why we teach it. That's as plain of an explanation you're going to get.

1:55:14Thank you.

1:55:46Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. free to use. Go to RamseySolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's RamseySolutions.com.

1:56:10All right, our scripture of the day comes from John 3, verse 27. John answered and said, that a man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven. And our quote from Ronald Reagan, the American dream is not that every man must be level with every other man. The American dream is that every man must be free to become whatever God intends he should become. All right. Our next person up is Zach in Columbus, Ohio. Zach, how can we help? Hi, how are you doing? Good. How are you, sir? Long-time follower. Well, pretty good. I'm a long-time follower of the Baby Steps. I have purchased my dream car, and I've owned it for about four years now.

1:56:50Which is what? So it's a 2017 Dodge Challenger TA edition with a manual transmission. It's got only 16 ,000 miles on it. I bought it with 13 ,000, so I put it off 3 ,000 in four years. Treated as a Sunday driver type thing only in the summer. um it's the same year that my son was born so kind of sentimental to me okay um i'm on baby step four five and six and i hate debt i've gone through baby step two twice now um first time i paid off 140 000 second time was 113 000 um so all i'm left on is my mortgage and it's driving me crazy how much so i$144 ,000 i just made a payment of 7500 on monday what is your anticipated payoff because i know you're thinking about it uh 36 months wow okay just around the corner so what's your question well um you know i bought this car with the intention of keeping it forever one of my grandkids one day to find it in the barn type thing.

1:58:00But, you know, I'm contemplating, you know, if I sold this car, I could pay off 21 % of my remaining mortgage tomorrow. What's that number? So I could sell the car wholesale 31 and sell it tomorrow. If I sold it retail to another buyer, I could get about 35 for it. I gotta tell you. I mean, if you want to sell it, you can. I wouldn't. Okay. You got two no sales here. I mean, you spent way more time explaining the car than the problem, which means you love the car. And then don't tell us it's on your child's birthday and all these other things. You want them to find it in the barn one day? Yes, come on.

1:58:46I mean, here's the deal. Are you financially responsible, yes or no? Yes, sir. Are you on track to pay that house off in 36 months? Yes, sir. What are we doing here? Yeah. Like, here's the thing. You sell that car. Let's just play this out. Let's fast forward. You sell the car, and let's say you split the difference. You get$30 ,000 for it. Okay? And you put that on the mortgage. How much time is that going to shave off the 36 months? Eight months. Eight months. Oh, so not worth it. Now what do you think? Yeah, and that's where I'm stuck. No, you're not. Then I get into thinking of, you know, if I do keep it forever, you know, just the brakes alone is$5 ,000 on this car.

1:59:35Okay, but let's, I want to, I'm going to fight for this for a second because we're talking about eight months or a legacy. Because when you said, I want them to find it in the barn, we're talking about that is a long, expansive time. So when you're really saying, it's a question of time here. Which time matters more? The eight months that it's going to shave off my debt-free journey or the years and years that I'm going to drive this car in the summertime with my kids? The thing that I hope to leave to them, right? And don't get me wrong, you're going to do what you want to do and no one's going to be mad at you.

2:00:15I just want to help you see the value of what you were intending to do. Zach, I don't think you think you deserve it. Yeah, and that's one of the things with this car. I graduated high school with a 1.8 GPA. I've worked my way up from the ground up. Then I go to college, got married at 19, put my life through college, which finally seemed to have made it and bought my dream car that I never thought I could have and want to pass down to my kids. And they love it. It looks like a Hot Wheels car to them. But at the same time, the security of a paid-for house, no debt. But you'll get that. But you're already on track for that.

2:00:57And if you really needed the money for that car, you could sell it tomorrow. It's an actual, in this case, it is a bit of an asset. Yes or no? Okay. Yes, sir. Okay. Okay, so I don't think you think you're good enough. You know how I know it? You said 1.8 GPA. You threw that out there, and it's a little bit of a badge of honor, but it still has got some shame attached to it. Yes or no? Yes, sir. Okay, so you don't think that you're good enough for that car, and you think you're being irresponsible by having that car. You threw out the$5 ,000 brakes. Well, two responses to that. Now I'm going to fight for it.

2:01:34Yeah. Two responses. Number one, you're a guy who's paid off over six figures in debt twice. That guy can put away a little bit of money each month for car repairs, and you're driving that thing so little, it's going to take twice as long to repair those brakes as it would if you were driving it every day. True or false? That's true, yes, sir. Stop making excuses to buy into this narrative about yourself that's incorrect. We're talking to a guy who's very responsible. we're talking to a guy who loves his kids and all he happens to love a really cool car and i'll bet you don't have many hobbies no i work i come home and fish occasionally drive the car and that's about it then don't sell the car don't sell the car we've already ruled there's no more discussion here don't you know gavel to the table you and i've had many discussions today but this brings up another really good discussion um with money the thing there's something about money that it It does, it scratches the itch of us feeling like, okay, I've done the responsible thing.

2:02:37I've made up for the past. I have, right? And you're trying to set success there for your family or whatever it may be for you. The hard thing with money and the thing that we have to remember is it is amoral. Like it's just a tool out there. However, I'm going to say it has a magnetism to it. There's a quality that it always moves the goalpost further and further and it takes us with it. and it's like the goalpost goes there and like a magnet, we go with it and then it goes there and we go further. And you have to fight really hard to go, well, wait a second. Before it was a really great win to get debt free.

2:03:14And then we were fine with like, okay, we'll pay out the house. And then if you don't fight that, it pulls the joy of you living your life because it pulls the goalpost a little bit further and you're like, ah, I gotta do that now. And oh, I gotta do, and you're stealing your own joy from yourself because you're letting that magnet pull you further. And you just have to be careful. Don't give me, I'm all for success. I'm all for, I am a very, I love achieving. So I'm not taking that away from anybody, but you just have to be careful. Yeah, I agree. And again, you talk a lot about in your last book, the bestseller, the emotions of money.

2:03:52And we can't forget that those emotions are based on experiences in our lives around money. So we didn't unpack this with Zach, but I'll guarantee you the same patterns where he talked about, I was a 1.8 GPA. I got married at 19. Here's what I heard. I did things the untraditional way. I did things in a way that no one recommends. Everybody says, go to college, so therefore he wouldn't have gotten married. He was playing out a narrative that said he was proud of himself, and rightfully so. Yeah, but he did everything the hard way. Yeah. Yeah. And not the way that you're supposed to. Right, right.

2:04:34And so then you also go, okay, so there's those emotions, which I touched on, but what we don't know is what kind of background he had. What was the environment like growing up in his house around money? Yes. How did people view money? Did his dad, did he hear his dad go, we'll never own a nice car? And so is there a level of, and I don't know, I'm projecting, but that's where you talk a lot about the emotions around money. We've got to master those. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, we know this money touches every area of life. And because of that, when we teach something like the baby steps or even a really simple thing of saying, hey, for a little while, you're going to sacrifice short term for a long term gain, right?

2:05:11You might tell somebody to sell the car. I might tell somebody to stop getting your nails done. And it's never just that. It's how could you tell me? How could you tell me to sell my car? Don't you know that when I grew up, you know, we only had one car and I had to walk to school and I didn't have gloves because my parents, right? And we spin out to whatever we remember. So just remember that money is very emotional. By the way, she goes into great detail in her bestselling book, What No One Tells You About Money. You can get it wherever books are sold. And remember this, folks, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.