“I Want To Trust My Husband, But He Wants To Get Rich Quick"

30:00You know what you get? Lumpy rug. That's what you get. And these things have a high rate of resurrection, like a hundred percent chance it's going to resurrect. It looks like a zombie when it comes out from under the rug. Now go ahead and kill it now so you don't have to deal with it later.

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32:06John is in New Hampshire. Hey, John, how are you? I am doing good, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So my main concern is retirement. I am 47 years old, and I was laid off from my job in early December of last year. I don't have anything in retirement. I had to kind of use the retirement I had to survive until I was able to get a new job. Have you gotten a new job? I have a new job now. Yes, I have a job now. I started in April. What do you mean? Yeah, I'm making 80 a year. Good. And I'm also in the process of interviewing for a better job that if I get it will be about 110-ish Wow.

32:49Great. That's all good. But I have nothing in retirement, and I've got some debt, and I live with family right now. So between needing to get a house of my own and retirement and getting out of debt, I'm just kind of worried and not sure what the best way to accomplish all that is. Gotcha. Especially at 47. You're single? Yes. Single, no kids. How much debt? Total debt, 52, just over 52. On what? 1 ,000. That is a mix of credit cards and then two vehicles. And I know one vehicle is a motorcycle. That needs to just go away. I understand that. How much do you owe on the motorcycle? 28. 28 ,000? Holy smokes.

33:38Yes. Okay, so that's half your debt. Wow. Okay, and how much do you owe on your car? Just over 9 ,000. Okay, that's good news. I've been, I've had it so long. There's not much debt. Okay, and so that's, you've been 30, 37. So what, and you got 20 on credit cards? 14. 14. Okay, cool. Any other debt that I'm missing? No, I believe that covers everything. Just normal things that are month to month, like insurance and a couple streaming services. Okay. All right. Well, I mean, the glaring thing is the motorcycle, isn't it? Obviously. Right. Yeah, so it's half your debt, and it's not needed and all that.

34:22Right. So, yeah, that thing, you need to get that sold before Christmas. Somebody needs a new Christmas present with your motorcycle. So with the loan I have on it. No, I wasn't kidding, man. I mean, really. You need to get rid of the stinking motorcycle right now. With the loan that I have on it, obviously nobody's going to pay more than what the bikes worth and more than they can do to purchase and just buy it new. It's worth about$25. Okay. All right. 24-ish. Not a lot. So who do you owe the 28 to? That is America... What is it? American... It's a credit union. Oh, good. Okay. Well, swing down.

35:01Is a local branch there? No. I recently, in April, moved to New Hampshire from Vegas. Oh, yeah. Okay. Call the credit union back at the hometown and say, Hey, guys, I'm upside down$3 ,000 on this motorcycle. I've got to get the thing sold. I need to sign a note for the difference. okay i'm gonna send you 25 and sign a note for the difference and y 'all need to release the title okay get that get that arranged with your they'll do it with your man get them credit union manager on the phone and then you just sign whatever it brings you send them all the money and then you sign a note for the difference now we're down to 3 000 okay that's good that's gone quickly quickly this is like glaring bad thing right here out of all your stuff nothing's really stupid except that one and that was like super stupid right there okay so now then you're going to get an apartment the cheapest you can possibly get and be out on your own again like a grown man making 110 ,000 80 ,000 or whatever you're going to be making and somewhere between yeah yeah and then we're gonna clean up this debt then we're gonna build an emergency fund and then we're gonna start stocking money away and you're gonna be a millionaire when you retire is that okay so it's not too late at 47 no it's not too late listen i'm 65 that's so insulting That's your homework.

36:16When you get off this call, I already played around with the numbers for you, but I want you to do it for yourself. If you're going to be making$110 ,000 a year, taking home around$7 ,000, you invest 15 % of that,$1 ,000 a month,$1 ,050. And that's assuming you're never going to increase your income, which is false. You're going to keep getting better and better. But even if you did$1 ,000 a month for the next 20 years, you're going to get really close to a million bucks. And you're going to do better than that, right? Right. So I want that job. You're going to get the job. And if you don't get that job, you'll get another job.

36:50You've already got one making 80. Right. Okay. Then take three more extra jobs until you get the new job. Just work all the time. Clean up his mess. You need to look at the future because looking at the future is going to motivate what you do right now. Because if you look at that number and you say, you know what, that's not good enough, then that's going to motivate what you do with your income going forward. Right. Yep. right you can play around and say well what does it look like if i invest 1500 what does it look like if i invest 1800 right and that's going to inform what you do today same thing with the debt plug it into every dollar see how long it's going to take currently and if you're not happy with that you get to change that you get to side hustle the good news for you is you're single and unattached and you're at your sister's house so you need to be working all 20 hours a day time yeah you won't You won't die from hard work.

37:42Right before you die, you'll pass out. So just work all the time. My grandmother used to say there's a great place to go when you're broke. Go work. I want you working, working, working, working, working. What's my name? I'm Working John. That's all I do. I work. I get out of debt. I'm building wealth because I'm 47 and I don't want to retire and eat dog food. I'm working, working, working. And you'll get this mess cleaned up. You'll have an emergency fund. You'll start to feel better and the lights will come on because right now they're a little dim. Your hope, the hope that's not in your voice is bothering me more than your numbers.

38:16And the reason that Dave and I sound the way we sound is because we hear every day people doing this and they're successful and they turn it around. And we know that you can, too. You can do this, John. So we're going to put you on the upgraded version of every dollar. Hang on. We'll have Christian pick up and take care of you and get you on the budget. But get the motorcycle. So get five extra jobs or three extra jobs and work and work. And John, that's your name, man. and we're going to list our debts smallest to largest. We're going to tack them with a vengeance. We're going to get those credit cards out tonight.

38:46Light a candle and have a plastic to me party. Chop those puppies up. And let's move on, man. Let's move on. It's time to do something different. So if you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting. The last thing you want to do is be calling me at 57 living at your sister's house, bro. So let's get after it and fix it now. Time to do it. You can do it. You can do it. And you're right, Jay. The beautiful thing is you and I have the unbelievable honor of getting to meet heroes every day who looked in the mirror and said, time to change something. And didn't wait around on.

39:22That's right. They weren't watching the news. That's right. They were working. Yeah. And many of them in a worse situation than John. Much. Much worse. So the time is, a guy like him, you got to remember, the time is going to pass anyway. the time between now and him retiring right god willing and he gets to choose what he's going to do with that time he can be the same worse off or better and those are your three options and and here's what's weird if you absolutely i mean we were we've broken fun a little bit at it but if you work like a crazy person like ridiculous hours you work like no one else later you can work like no one else that's right that's right you know when i work kind of when i want to hello You know, and that's because I got financial peace a long time ago.

40:07Yeah. And I don't owe any of these stupid banks. They're not calling me up. I don't have, you know, all this stuff coming at me that I can't handle. It's not because my life's perfect. It's just I built a life that said, I'm not going to be beholden to you people that are screwing everybody, you car companies. I mean, who loans a guy$28 ,000 on a motorcycle who lives at his sister's? I mean, come on. well to be fair i don't think he lived at his sister's yet but a banker ought to have his butt kicked up around his neck oh my god seriously yeah yeah and guess what the motorcycle went down in value oh i'm so shocked so yeah and the good news about him though i mean john's got it made half his dadgum problem is was the motorcycle stroke yeah one stroke yeah and the fact that he didn't have a job for forever and that's not okay yeah well that that's what got the credit card debt.

41:01Yep, sure is. Guys, you can do this stuff, but listen, if you want a different result, you have to put in a different recipe. If you keep baking a cake and it keeps turning out vanilla and you wanted chocolate, you need to change the recipe. Hello. You keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. That's the definition of insanity. That's what the 12-steppers say. And they're right. Don't keep doing the same thing over and over. I just can't seem to get ahead. Well, then quit doing the same dadgum stuff. Hello? You got to change something. Throw some dynamite in the middle of it.

41:34Let's bust this thing up, man. It's time, boys and girls. It's time.

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43:13Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. Cece's with us in Cleveland. Hey, Cece, what's up? Hi. Hi. So, can you hear me? Yes, ma 'am. Okay, so I'm 27, and I'm in dental assisting schools, and I also own an online boutique. But I'm starting to pay for my mistakes I made when I was younger, and they were terrible. Like, I'm$40 ,000 in debt. On what? And I'm like, I don't know what. So, half is from my car, a Honda Civic. I'm financing it. So, 20K is. So you owe$20 ,000 on your car? Yes. What's the other? I was so young. I was young and dumb, and I decided to lease a Mercedes at like 23 years old.

44:03And when I returned the lease, the wear and tear, the miles and all of that, I still have to pay for that. So that's about$10 ,000. Okay. And how long ago was that? That was, I returned that car in 2023. Okay. So they're not happy with you. Okay. All right. Two years ago. And then what's the other$10 ,000? So I did take out a student loan for about$5 ,000 because I'm in dental school. And that's already paid for half, so I had to take out a loan. And then the other amount is just from, like, personal loans and credit cards. And I'm not working right now. I lost my job. So I'm like, should I file bankruptcy or should I just drop out of school and just...

44:49What are you in dental school for$5 ,000? I don't understand. For dental assisting? Oh, dental assisting. Okay. I never knew any dentists that went to school for$5 ,000. So you paid three out of pocket and got a loan for the other five? Well, Fastwood paid for the three, and then I had to get a loan for the other. Okay. And what were you doing that you just got fired from? Well, I didn't get fired. I decided that I was going to quit my job and run my business. Oh, how much? Because your business is bringing in a lot of income? It was until I quit my job and started having to pay my rent with the money I made from my online business.

45:31Okay, what are you making from the online business? Right now, I'm not making anything because I just put it on pause. But I was making about$300 ,000. Why are you stopping all the things that make you money? This is so illogical. because it's so hard to juggle school and running a business and it's like you're not running a business you stopped it well it was before i stopped it before i stopped it it was hard because yes okay hear me out the process i started using it to pay my rent in my car now my insurance so That's good. Okay, let me go back. Let me go back. So your student, your full-time student, can you work at least part-time at the very least?

46:23Because you got to live. Because what's the other option, right? Because if you stop working at the other job, then you stop working at your business. What are your options to put your lifestyle on credit, right? And that's what you've been doing. Yes. I know. And it's not working. I know. That's why I'm telling you. You got to go back and get to work. The job that you quit, what were you making of the job you quit? So I was a correctional officer for about three years, and I was making about$4 ,000 a month. But it's just I wasn't happy. And now you're really not happy because you don't have$4 ,000 a month.

46:57Yes, because I'm broke. Yeah, so here's what you need to do. You need to go get a job. Any job. So here's the thing. Hear me out. I got an offer at the post office, and they pay a pretty nice amount. I'm scared it won't work with school. Try it. So quit school. You need money. Cece, do you... You called me and asked me if you wanted to file bankruptcy. That was your question. And then you're telling me you don't want to work and you want to go to school. Wrong answer. Work. Is it just you, Cece? It's just you? Yes, it's just me. I've been doing everything since I was like 17. And you're living by yourself or are you living with someone, a roommate?

47:38or is it just you? No, I'm by myself. Okay. You got, you got to do this. And the good news is, and I told the other guy this who called in, it's just you. You don't have to get home to a kid, to a husband, to a grandma you're taking care of. It's just you. So you all, this is time management. This is the problem, time management. And you understanding that this is going to be hard for a season. How much do you, how much time left in school? I graduated in June. That's why I don't want to quit. Okay, then stay in school and work full time. And let your... For six whole months. Wah. That's it. And let your goal just be, I'm working and I'm going to school and I'm paying my rent and I'm just doing these, what I'm going to call just typical adulting tasks.

48:23I work, I go to school, I pay my bills. And that's it. So something's going to be hard. The wise person chooses the hard thing they want to do instead of the hard thing happening to them. You're going to have something that's painful and hard. Ready, set, go. Now you decide which one you want it to be. Now I would rather be tired and a wee bit stressed from working all day and going to school than as broke as you are and scared as you are. That's hard. So I would choose not to be where you are and choose to work full time and go to school like a crazy girl and then get out in June and go live your best life.

49:05Yeah. Let's talk realistically about your schedule. When you do the dental assistant thing, is it daytime? Are you going at night? How does it work? So I know I'm in night school. That's the thing that's stopping me from finding a great job. That you're at night? It's 5 to 9. And what time is the post office job? so i start monday and it's at 8 a.m uh-huh perfect um someone told me that the post office you could work 12 hours a day six days a week and that's why i'm scared well why don't you find out if you start at 8 a.m you want to know when you're probably off work three four four at the latest which means you can hop over there and get to your class at five you can grab a bite to eat don't don't not do this because somebody because somebody told you because do you want to know what that tells me i'm gonna tell you i'm being your friend right now if an excuse that's that vague is enough to make you stop it's because you don't want to do it to begin with it's almost like you were looking for an excuse not to do it that's what that tells me so you have to want this for yourself cc i'm looking at the numbers i'm looking at the schedule you can do this you got the job eight to four max hop over there do the school from five to nine it's six months like dave said you can do this it's gonna be hard but you can do this you can you this is you have to want to do it yeah choose your hard something's gonna be hard be a big girl and decide which one you want it to be do i want to be sitting here terrified broke and but you can't just be randomly walking out on stuff.

50:45You just go, I don't think I want to work anymore. Well, the pattern is, here's the pattern. It got each one of them got too hard. You were the corrections officer. It's tough, man. It's mental load. I can understand that probably is a tough job, but it got too tough. You left. Then you started doing the online business because that seemed easier. You did it for a while and you realize, oh, this is harder than I thought. I'm having to use my profit. I can't invest my profit back in. I have to use some of it. It got hard. You quit that. Now you have this job on the table that could really break you free.

51:17And you're thinking you haven't even done it yet. You're just thinking it might be hard. And you're about to bail on that. That's a pattern, Cece. That's yours to break. It's going to be hard. Buckle up, buttercup. It's going to be hard. It's going to be worth it. Suck it up. Go get it, girl. You can do this.

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53:41So one of the criticisms of Gen Z has been that, and I disagree with it, by the way, because I disagree with the premise, but I'll go ahead and lay it out there, is that Generation Z, their 20s, are not resilient. Okay. They don't stick with it, do hard things. As a generation, this is what people are saying? Yeah. Yeah, it's one of the criticisms that they don't know how to do hard things. And they don't stick through and persevere. And that is somewhat sometimes true. I'll ask Caller as an example, right? Sure. So no question. She didn't want to do hard things. And you said you got to do hard things.

54:23If you live like no one else later, you can live like no one else. And rejoice in your suffering, the Bible says, because suffering produces perseverance. Man, what? Yes, keep going. And perseverance, character. I've been talking about this, Dave. And character, hope. And hope is a gift of the Holy Spirit. So, yeah, there's a lineage. Suffering creates perseverance. Maturity is what some of the versions say. Exactly, exactly. So the thing is, what I have found is, I mean, we've got about 500, 600 Gen Zs working here on our team, and they're the good ones. There's two kinds of Gen Zs, awesome and sucks, right?

55:05And we've got the awesome ones. You can get the good ones. They're good. When they're good, they're good. And they're abundance thinkers. They believe that anything's possible because they've carried around a magic wand in their hand their whole lives. And if they push a button, stuff happens. And so the first time something does get hard, sometimes it's a lack of resilience. Sometimes it's a lack of perseverance. But sometimes it's like, what's the point in doing something hard? Because there's probably a workaround. There's a lot of tools I can do for me. There's some way I can work around this and not have to go through that.

55:39And it's the native nature of their minds, the way their minds have been programmed to live. And it's really not a bad thing. Because really you should stop and go, is there an easier way to do this? Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, is there a workaround? What's the hack, right? And work smarter, not harder. What's smarter? I mean, why do I just keep running into this wall and call that perseverance? No, I should probably walk around the wall. Hello. And so, no, me, I'm just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You know, I got dadgum rhinoceros or something that's brain damaged. And so, no, you could just move over there and walk around.

56:11You don't have to hit the wall, dummy. It's concrete. And so, but they're really good at looking for the workaround and looking for the hack. And sometimes that has caused them to be accused of lack of resilience. And I think that's a wrong conclusion. I can agree with that. Now, sometimes there's a lack of resilience. There's a lack of, you know, stick to it, push through. And so really what this comes down to is if you're a Gen Z or if you're parents of teenagers right now that are walking around with a magic wand, they do not know a world where they can't push a button. They've never experienced a world where they can't push a button and stuff shows up on their porch in 24 hours.

56:51If you want to know what the temperature is, we used to have to go outside and look at the thermometer, and we came back in and went, it's cold. Now you just push the weather out, right? Anything you want to know or anything you want to do is a magic wand in your hand. So if you parents are doing that, what I suggest as a parenting thing, because it becomes a part of their success principles that they're going to live their life for. Teach your children to do hard things. Yeah. Yes. Put something in front of them that's hard. And 100 % of the time that any of us are doing something we've never done before, and it's hard.

57:32I'll tell you what rises up inside of you. Frustration. And then it can, with me, I just get angry. Yeah. Not at someone, but I just get pissed off. I can't do it. I've never been able to do this. And it's, you know, trying to learn a thing with a sport, trying to hit the golf ball a certain way. Oh God. Yeah. And I have to just stop and go, it doesn't matter. Okay. The secret to happiness is low expectations on the golf course. Right. But the, but persevere, push through, push through, push through until you get a callous, push through, push through, push through until your brain is tired your emotions are tired learn to do hard things those that are 30 years old and under in the next 25 years that know how to do hard things will be running the country that's right yes yes they'll be running the country and the rest of you that don't learn how to do hard things will be following them in doing what you're told, like a bunch of sheeple.

58:34And so learn to do hard things. Marriage for 50 years is hard. It's hard. And anyone tells you this is a cakewalk is a liar, okay? There are times that you want to kill each other, literally. I mean, I'm not talking metaphorically. I'm talking about I want to, yeah. you're right and hide the body you're right there are times parenting is hard i mean i now that i've got grandkids i'm really glad i let them live but there was a question a time or two whether they were going to live through this or not you know it's worth it go ahead parents let them live because they'll bring you grandbabies and it's worth it let them live don't don't kill them but yeah but man this is making me feel way better about myself it's hard it's hard y 'all managing Changing money and saying no to yourself so that you can say yes later is hard.

59:36Not filling up the cart on Amazon and hitting submit is hard. I want it. And I work so hard. Call the ambulance. You work hard. Everybody works hard. You little whiner. Oh, my God. That's the one that's inside. I'm a little drama queen. I work so hard. You don't work hard. You don't even know what hard work is. You've never done any hard work. Hard work is never. I work hard. That means you went to a building all day. That's all that means. Everybody does it. Yeah, everybody does it. There was no sweat involved. Now that's a word. And you drove there. In the air conditioned car. I work hard. It's perspective.

1:00:22So do some real things that are difficult. You know, our friend, Michael, what's his name? Esther? Yeah, Easter. Easter. Easter. Is that right? Wrote the book Comfort Crisis. Yeah, read Comfort Crisis. We have a crisis in the culture because we've worked so hard to become comfortable. And now we're so comfortable, we don't know how to do hard things. And you have to practice the hard things. That's like... We have to go from our 72-degree kitchen to our 72-degree garage to our 72-degree car to our 72-degree office, and we call that hard. No. And really, there's no starvation involved. There's no one's hungry.

1:01:03I mean, there are some hungry people out there. Don't miss her. But, I mean, most of you listening to me right now, you know, you got your$800 iPhone, and you're not, you know, and you can't complain about, you know, living like you live like 1 % of the world, top 1%. So it's do some hard things. Those that know how to do hard things will always be leading those that don't. And I also think there's just personal dignity in it. I mean, there's just certain things that it's good to do, even if you could do it easier, even if you could have somebody else. Like, for instance, OK, it's winter. All the leaves are falling off.

1:01:37We could probably pay somebody to come clean up the leaves. But we have to teach our kids that it's good to do hard work. Yeah, you can pick out stuff like that. I didn't do all that, but I mean, I did. Do you know what I'm saying? You've got to do the hard thing, whatever it is. It can be a mental challenge. It can be a physical challenge. All of it. It can be an emotional challenge. I don't want to go over there. She doesn't like me. Oh, well, tough. You know, learn to work with difficult people. They're everywhere. So you might as well get used to that. So here's a plan. Deal with that. Well, she's mean.

1:02:10Oh, well, there's going to be a she's mean everywhere. Believe me. so you got to learn to handle them and that's part of do hard things emotionally hard physically hard spiritually hard whatever it is um but the diligent are the ones that prosper and diligent is excellence over time diligent prosper that's the bible says that okay and so you're going to prosper when you learn how to do hard things with excellence over time because when you do the things that other people won't do you'll always have the things that other people don't have I've had dinner with my friends the other night. It's their 50th wedding anniversary.

1:02:50They've done some things that most people won't do to get to that point. They put up with some stuff off of each other to get to that point. Didn't commit murder. They didn't kill each other. They threatened to. They didn't kill each other. It's worth it. It's worth it. They got some things that other people don't have.

1:03:13Thank you.

1:03:30Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curveball hits. You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes. Yeah, and that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Xander is essential because it protects your family if the worst happens. Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage. No gimmicks, no whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long-term disability insurance.

1:04:10Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them. Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive but can't work. So it replaces a large part of your income so the bills still get paid while you get back on your feet. Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it. If it's discounted there at a better price, take it. But if not, Xander can help you find the right plan. Whether you're single or married, it's not optional. If you're going to be out of work for a while, then you need to make sure the money's still showing up.

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1:05:23If you're working the baby steps, the best and the fastest way to do it is by using every dollar. It's more than just a budgeting app. It is the plan built in. The Ramsey plan is built into it. You track your progress, you get personalized recommendations and coaching, and we're going to help you free up more money, work the plan faster. It's like having one of us walking with you every day, showing you the next right step and holding you accountable. Start every dollar for free. Download it in the App Store or Google Play. Brad's in Greenville, South Carolina. Hey, Brad, what's up? Hey, how's it going?

1:06:00Better than I deserve. How can we help? So I inherited about$450 ,000. Wow. It's in an IRA, inherited IRA, so I have to pay taxes on it. But I think I'll have enough to pay off the house afterwards. I'll only know if it's better to invest or if it's better to pay the house off. How much do you owe on your home? So$373 ,000. Yeah, you would have. No, no, you won't either. You're not going to get that much out of$450. It's all taxable at ordinary income when you pull it out. Yeah. It's going to put you in the top tax bracket, so it's 30%. So I'm pulling it out a little bit at a time. So I'm going to do it over like a four or five-year period to where I can stay in that 22 % tax bracket.

1:06:56I don't think you're going to be in a 22 % tax bracket if you do that. that's$100 ,000 a year. I don't think that's a 22 % tax bracket.

1:07:08So it would be better to look at investing it? No, that wasn't what I was saying. I'm just questioning your tax numbers is all. It was not an inherent. So have you talked to a tax person to help you run this out? I did, and that's where I got the 22%. Okay, then maybe I'm wrong. Okay. What do you make? What's your household income? So we're about$120 ,000,$130 ,000. He told us about since it's married, file, and joint, it'd be about$228 ,000, give or take, is what the 22 % would be for us with the standard deduction. Okay. All right. All right. I will shut up then. Okay. So you can pull$100 ,000 a year out for four years?

1:07:58Yeah, roughly. And keep it at 22. Okay. Yeah. All right. Now, back to your question then.

1:08:13We surveyed and did research, the largest research project on millionaires ever done in North America, 10 ,167 of them. the number of them that said i borrowed on my house to invest in the stock market and that's how i became wealthy was precisely zero none of them did that instead they worked systematically to get out of debt and systematically to invest while being debt-free that's what they almost every one of them like 89 percentile so um that's the data tells me that the smartest thing to do what millionaires typically do is to pay off the house. And so I would pay off my house if I were in your shoes.

1:08:56And then I would use that increased cash flow to build wealth with because you don't have a house payment anymore because your house payment's got what,$4 ,000,$3 ,000? We're at$23 ,000. Okay. So, yeah, I'd round it up to$3 ,000, put$3 ,000 a month into a mutual fund after your house is paid off and you have a million dollars in that one account in no time. That's$36 ,000 a year. That's legitimate investing. okay so yeah that no so the answer to your question is i pay off my house as soon as i can okay and i i want you to go back i'm gonna have to pull it up are you pulling up tax brackets yeah i'm looking at it it looks like 206 married finally married filing jointly 206 000 to 394 24 okay well he said he said 22 yeah so yeah okay all right so you're right in there.

1:09:45All right. This is why I don't do taxes, because I suck at it. Okay. Well, then no, it's always changing. Either way, yeah. So yeah, avoiding bracket creep is the smart way to do this. There's no reason to give them extra money. Is it invested in good mutual funds? So I've got it invested right now with Fidelity. They're managing their account, and I've got it on a low risk because the market's been doing pretty good. so I didn't want to market turn and then lose the inheritance. You're not going to lose the inheritance with the market turn. You might lose some of the gains, but you won't lose the inheritance.

1:10:23No, there's not been a market turn where the market evaporated. There's never been one. Even in the Great Depression, the stock market crashed. The market didn't completely evaporate. It just went way down. So, no, you're not going to lose the inheritance. But you might lose some of it. I mean, you might lose$10 ,000 or something. But no, so make sure it's invested in something good that's not – because this market is going zoom, zoom, and you really do want to be in on it while you're sitting on it because you're dumping – because you're going to do this over four years. Make sure you're in at least an index, at least, and maybe a little bit more risk than that.

1:11:00That's where I would be anyway. But if you're doing that, yeah, you're going to be beating up on this tax bracket thing and running that. But as soon as you pull it out, though, dump it on the mortgage. As soon as you pull it out, dump it on the mortgage. The day you can get it out, January 1, boom. So you can take some this year, some next year, right? So right now you've got a three-week span. You can get two hits on it. Yeah, that's a good idea. So you can pop some this year, some next year. And that's in the next month you could put$200 ,000 on this. And I would. I definitely would. I'd just ask more questions, too.

1:11:32I'd want to know why he landed specifically at$100 ,000 when he still got that window up against the tax bracket. His income plus$100 ,000 out of this puts him right at the bracket creep. That's what he was saying. Well, it puts him right in the middle of the bracket. It puts him right between. At$22 ,000. What's the$22 ,000 max? $22 ,000 max is$206 ,000. That's what he said. Yeah. And he makes like one something. He makes$120 ,000. So if he took$100 ,000, he'd be over it already. Yeah. Okay. Well, it won't be quite$100 ,000 then. It'd be just under that. But yeah, he's going to run right up to the edge of the 22s, we said.

1:12:02Okay. That makes sense. He needs to be careful. That sounds like it's good advice. Sounds like you got it nailed down. But yes, the bottom line is I'm going to pay off my house before I invest. I would not borrow on my home to invest. And it has the same exact mathematical effect if you don't pay off the house and you instead invest. So no, I would not. I'd get the house paid off. All the data that we have shows to go that way and common sense says to go that way. And when you lay your head on a pillow in a house that you don't owe anything on, it feels different. I'm just saying. I say it all the time.

1:12:31When people come up against hard times, whether it's COVID or they lost their job or there's a diagnosis, the number one thing people think about is, can I keep my house? Is my home going to be okay? Is my house going to be all right? That's the number one thing. Not how my mutual fund's doing. Nope. Don't ever ask that. I need to check my mutual fund. That never comes up. They want the security of their home being stable. and I think there's something about it being stable that adds to um the adds to a lot of things for one thing but but it adds to career choice yes because I don't have to I don't have to put up with this crap so I can go over here and make more money you and you're you just feel I don't know you got a little more swagger you're freed up a little more swagger in the marketplace when you don't do that.

1:13:17So yeah, I would, not to mention, you know, relationally, number one cause of divorce, money fights, money problems, money stress. Don't have that. Don't have a mortgage. Hello. Not as much, not as much chance anyway. Oh, by the way, what's the number one cause of death in America? That'd be hypertension, heart attack, that kind of stuff, right? And guess what? Low blood pressure. You got lower blood pressure when you don't have a mortgage. That's right. I actually don't have any data on that. One of these days we need to get with the medical community and do a little study on the medical cost, your medical bills resulting from the anxiety caused by debt.

1:13:58That would be groundbreaking. What would be the cost? What's the real cost? My interest rate's a good deal. Not anymore. Not once you run the medical bill on top of it. That's a different thing. Just chill. Take someone's pulse, like put a meter on them as they're signing for a car note. Yeah. See what's going on with those vitals through the roof. Check the brainwaves, see if there is one. No, those fell off. Those fell off the chart.

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1:16:31Our question of the day comes from YREFI. Defaulted private student loans don't just disappear. But you can actually take control and make them disappear. Y-Refi offers low fixed rate refinancing that gives you hope and a clear path to make them disappear. Go to Y-Refi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey. Not in all states. All right. Today's question comes from Hayden in Pennsylvania. He says, my wife and I recently got married and bought a home. We're debt free other than the home and have a fully funded emergency fund of about 19 ,000. Our combined income is approximately$10 ,000 a month, and our expenses are only around$3 ,500.

1:17:17We spend around$450 a month on eating out and entertainment. Now, I'm a saver, and I find it very hard to spend on items that I don't believe are needs. My wife loves to think about ways to decorate our first home, and given that we're debt-free besides the home and investing 15 % in our retirement, what strategy should I put into place regarding how much cash we could wisely spend on furniture I'm happy sitting in the dark living room on a lawn chair reading financial statements but you're cooler than me nerd yeah this is terrible he says you're cooler than me and we'll answer the question in a way that will ease my anxiety and also help our marriage oh yeah we're gonna help your marriage because if you continue down this track it's not looking good for you buddy um yeah you guys are doing fine you're doing good babysat for investing 15 love all that the fact that you have all of this margin is fabulous ten thousand dollars coming in thirty five hundred going out uh dave when i think of things like this i i like thinking about it in terms of what i'm going to call just kind of a financially responsible adult checklist and this is a checklist that needs to run in the background for people who are either nerdy like this guy who's got tight watch syndrome or you know people who just have a hard time trusting their instincts maybe they've made a lot of bad mistakes in the past and they're just getting getting comfortable with the idea of doing well with money number one and it's following the babysitter number one are you a person who's on a budget you're on your budget every single month you're checking in with your budget, you're utilizing your budget.

1:18:53If that's yes, check green, green light. Next thing, are you a person who's out of debt and you're not entertaining things that allow you to go into debt? So you're just a debt-free lifestyle. Yes, check. Are you a person who's carrying the proper insurances? I'm guessing you are. I'm guessing you have your life insurance, your wills, everything's in place there. Great. Green light. Next thing, are you a person who is doing all the ways that we say to save money? You've got your three to six months, check. You're investing 15%, a form of saving? Yes. You've even bought a home, another forced savings account.

1:19:25Green check. Very, very good. And are you a person who's prioritizing generosity? Now, I did not see that in the things that you talked about. That could help. So that's one that I'd put a little question mark. If you are doing those five things, you are what's known as a financially responsible adult, which means when there's margin left over, Dave, you can use those. You don't just have to do needs, needs, needs needs there are some wants that you need to throw in there and you can do it in a you can trust that you'll do it in a responsible way because you've been responsible on all the things that matter so yes give your wife some money to decorate this house you're not going to go into debt over it you're not going to sacrifice the things that you need and that make you a responsible adult so yeah do it get the couch there are three things you can do with money You can give it, you can spend it wisely, and you can save it.

1:20:19You need to be doing all three of those things. Yes. And when you're not, you're not in balance and you're going to blow up at some point. Or somebody around you is going to blow up. You could live in a lawn chair in your living room. She can't. So she won't be living with you if you keep this up. That's how this works, okay? So financially responsible adults. I do not understand it. My joke was I do not understand China dishes that we never eat on, and I really don't understand a$3 ,000 cabinet to put the dishes in that we never eat on. I don't have to understand this. You don't have to get it.

1:20:56You just have to get it. Because you speak Raptor. You have to go get it. I don't speak China. I speak Raptor. I speak gun. You speak gun. I don't speak purse. Right. So, yeah. So, I don't have to get it. I've just got to get it. Happy wife, happy life. And you got to remember, what's it all for? Otherwise, why? Why are you doing this if you can't enjoy any of it? Well, part of him enjoying it is allowing his wife to enjoy it. We have a line item in our budget, continuously decorating. We're continuously decorating for 43 years. We've been continuously decorating. I haven't always been aware of it, but we have been continuously decorating.

1:21:34Because the window treatments go out of style. And finally, I gave up and admitted it. Okay, now we're actually doing it, so we're going to put it in the budget. and this is the number you can do up to this per month or you cannot do it for three months and still spend the total of those dollars i don't care but this is the amount and i have the same thing for whatever my little thing is right i'm gonna go buy a gun or i'm gonna do whatever with that so and you both agree stuff that's having fun with money and it has a an agreed on amount yes you both and then there's no thing so you put a put a little fun category in there and do that and know you're not being irresponsible jade's got you checked off exactly right and he's making fun of himself yeah he is i'm a nerd he's saying he's saying i'm a nerd and he knows he's a nerd that's good but most men can live under a bridge it doesn't bother us and so we don't need drapes i mean we don't understand it's like shades will do you know so cheaper shades but yeah but i don't understand i don't know why it has to oh well and so it doesn't matter if i understand or not I have figured that out.

1:22:33So, yeah, you need a budget for a line item for generosity. It doesn't sound like you have that. And you do need a budget line item that you've both agreed to. And then you shut up about it. No whining about it. I gave you$500. You don't give her nothing. She married you. There you go. So we decided we are spending$500 a month. We decided we're spending$1 ,000 a month. We decided whatever, to decorate our new home. And he'll probably like it. The truth is you're fine on a lawn chair. No. But I think, you know, it warms up the house. I mean, you like the stuff that Sharon picks. Not, no, not equal to what it costs.

1:23:08Listen, I'm scared of you when you go home. No, I'm not. I don't, I truly, I'm not as bad as this guy, but I truly don't. You don't care at all. I would not have spent that on that chair, not in a million freaking years. I'm just good. But that's okay. I'm happy and she's happy and we've got the money. So it's okay. It's okay. Everybody's good. And she, you know, she does not understand some of my obsessions either. So it's okay. It's all right. It doesn't matter. The point is you need to enjoy as a couple, your money and you need to be generous and give your money. That's right. And you need to be constantly investing and saving and you are.

1:23:45And so we know you got that one. And so, yeah, it's, there's three things you can do with money. You have to teach little kids the same thing, by the way, teach your little kids to give, to save and to spend. I'm on it now. That's tough. That's a hard one. But if you get them there, they'll be happy adults. Yeah. Yeah, they will. I'm working on it. Good balance, good balance. Alyssa is in Austin, Texas. Hi, Alyssa. What's up? Hi, I'm thrilled to be here. Good to have you. How can we help? Well, I want to know if I should quit working on my business or keep going. What are you making? Are you making money?

1:24:20No. How much are you making? What's your total dollars coming in in a month? Like$500 a month. How long have you been at it? I've been working on it. Like really hard, like three months, but I was like lightly doing it. What is the business? It's a digital marketing business because I want to work from home because I'm a homeschooler mom. So I want to work in the afternoons. Did you buy some kind of package or something to do this with? Multi-level. Well, I promised my husband I wouldn't like spend over a certain amount, you know, so I'm almost to that limit. And now I'm questioning, like, should I keep going?

1:24:57because I bought like a course and like professional Zoom and like the website things, and it's like slowly trickling. And most importantly, I have to find someone to watch my children in the afternoons so I can have time to work on the business. Plus, I'm working on the weekends. My husband is graciously watching them, and I'm like, I don't know if I'm just at the low part of starting a business or if I should just keep going. No, there's no mystery to it. Henry Cloud says in his book, Necessary Endings, that when you lose hope that things are going to get better, it's time to end whatever it is.

1:25:32So whether that's a relationship, a job, a business. And so you've got to give me a reason why you think this is going to start making$5 ,000 a month. Because you're making$1 an hour right now. This sucks. Right. So you're going to have to solve for, I'm going to make these final three moves and get this to$4 ,000 a month. or I'm not going to go, oh, it just takes a while. No, it doesn't take a while. You've got to go get this stuff done. And have a plan. And you could have gone and gotten a part-time job and made a whole lot more. So I kind of think you bought an Internet thing that you read, and I think they sold you a bunch of crap is kind of what it sounds like to me.

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1:27:53Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. I'm Dave Ramsey. Jade Walshaw is my co-host. Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author. Jessica's in Springfield, Michigan. Hi, Jessica. What's up? Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? Yeah, I am kind. I am a single mom with a rowdy little toddler son, But I won income, and I've been working three jobs and trying to do the baby steps. And I just feel like I'm, like, in a – and I'm not, like, a rut or just not getting anywhere is where I kind of feel like. Try not to get emotional with it, but I just feel like I just sometimes have failed.

1:28:38That's kind of where I'm at right now. Yeah, I don't think you failed. You might be tired, but I don't think you failed. So tell me about who's watching the baby when you're doing all this work. Yeah, so I actually just moved back home with my parents to kind of help, like, save money. And I actually don't, yeah. How old are you? I'm 36. And how much child support are you receiving? I do not get any, Dave. Why? I had a bad lawyer, I feel like. We actually have joint custody, but I don't actually get any support. Okay. And what do you make at your day job? Yeah, so my full-time job, I make about$53 ,000.

1:29:22And then with my side, I do have two side jobs. And I make about$58 ,000 a year by loans. At those two? No, sorry. Like all together. Your side jobs only make$5 ,000 a year? Yes. You don't make anything at your side jobs. Okay. No, they're both contract jobs. And one of them I honestly just need to get rid of. There's really no work there anymore. But I work, my full-time job, I work anywhere between 10 to 20 hours overtime each week with that. So when you bring home, when you get your checks for the month, what's it total for the full month? For the full month, they typically are about, after taxes, about$3 ,800 is typically where I sit.

1:30:06So you're home with your parents and they're helping you out. And that$3 ,800, what's it going towards? Towards debt right now. And I am still, I'm paying my rent up until this last month, which I'm paying for an empty apartment in Alabama. But I do, I bet it's another$1 ,000 I will be getting in my pocket. Got it. She had a$1 ,000 rent back in Alabama. And now what else is a$3 ,800 going to? Student loans and medical debt and credit card debt is where that pretty much all goes. Tell us the total. How much student loan debt do you have? Student loans is right about$28 ,000. And how much medical?

1:30:52Medical is about$3 ,000. Okay. And how much credit card? Credit card is$8 ,500. Wow. You know, I'm hearing this, and the more you're saying it, the more excited I'm getting, because you're getting this help from your parents, the$1 ,000 you're going to get back in your pocket after this month. You know, next month you can knock the medical debt out. You got a car debt? I do have a car debt. Yeah, it's$8 ,000. Okay, that's not bad. And how's the car running? It's all right? Yes, it runs great. And I've gone through the FIP University, and I debated selling my car, but I do, I have to travel back to Alabama monthly.

1:31:34So having, having a car for my toddler son. Why do you have to travel back to Alabama? Um, what it's, it's crazy is I still have to take my son for visitations, um, which his, his father doesn't really care. Um, this is that thing. So his dad won't come to you where you are. You have to buy, is it by court order that you have to go to him? Yes. Yes. Is there a way to go back and change any of that? Um, there's, I, I have to go back to Alabama. debated going back and um going back to court but it was like an eight eight thousand i'm sorry i'm so emotional it's okay it's all right it was like it was an eight thousand dollar lawyer bill how long were you all married we were not married thankfully got like thank god that we were not married um because i dodged a bullet on that one okay okay okay and so you're talking about the travel that sets you back a little bit all right so but so did you get a tax how long yeah how long have you been gone from alabama gone from him um we just moved back in may um so about seven about seven eight months and i think that's did you get a tax refund last year i did how much yes sir i did um i i believe it was shy of 3500 okay i want you to go to uh hr and change your W-2 by$300 a month and bring$300 more home to$4 ,100.

1:32:59That would help a lot. Because that's what you're giving the IRS too much every month out of your check. You're giving them too much money, more than you owe. And let's get you on a budget because I think when you get on a written plan, you're going to see that living with your parents right now, which I think is a good move for you right now, all of your money is your money. Are they charging you anything? Have they said you need to do this or that? No, I mean, I help like with groceries and stuff. So if you take$1 ,000 a month to live on and put$3 ,000 a month towards these bills, the medical bills are gone in one month.

1:33:32Three months later, the credit cards are gone. And three months later, the car is gone. So seven months from now, you're debt-free except student loan. Right. That would be amazing. That's exactly your number. And then in another eight months, the student loans are gone. Yeah. So you're looking at 16 months, 17 months on this. If you can stay there that long, you'll be debt free and be able to go get you an apartment and start your life. Yeah. And if you get an extra job that's reliable and legitimate where you're making some serious money versus the crappy ones you've got now, you can accelerate that speed.

1:34:12Yeah. Okay. So here's what's happened. Your emotions and your body physical reaction is still living back there with the doofus boy. Okay. I'm sitting here in your future. Jade's sitting here in your future. And it's so bright. I need to wear shades. See, because I'm looking out six months from now and you're debt free but student loans. Right. And by the way, that is not scary or crying numbers. Those are happy numbers, excited numbers, celebration numbers. And don't get hung up on the six months because you're going to feel it after this month when you pay the medical debt. You're going to start feeling it right now.

1:35:01Yeah. As soon as you start doing the budget. This month, no medical debt. Next month, half the credit card's gone. Or a third of the credit card's gone. The next month, the third. The next month, the third. The next month. So seven months it takes to get the car and the credit cards and the medical bills down to just the student loan. Wow. You're okay. You're okay. It doesn't feel like you're okay because your life has sucked for so long. But now just look out into the future, and I see a really cool future. The rearview mirror's got manure in it, okay? Yes. But the future's bright. Okay? So you're coming out of the manure pile riding a pony, kiddo.

1:35:43Here we go. All right? Yes. You're okay. Yes. You're okay. Your numbers are better than you feel. Uh-huh. Okay. Do you hear the math? Do you hear the math? I do. Okay. Just breathe that in and hold it. You're okay. We're going to set you up on every dollar, and if you need to call us back, you call us back. We'll keep walking with you. But you can do this. This is very doable. If it was bad, we'd tell you. That's right. We tell you the truth around here. We love you enough to tell you the truth.

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1:37:33Kelly is with us in Cincinnati. Hey, Kelly, what's up? Hello, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? I'm 53 years old. I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years now, and the idea of long-term commitment in marriage has been coming up. We're both financially stable, no debt, a significant amount in retirement accounts, and he is just straight up against marriage. He got burned bad before, didn't he? He did. He did. He actually, he really got burned bad. And that was, I mean, that was 20 years ago, 25 years ago. Yeah, but he still lives in that. Yes. Was he upfront about that?

1:38:18Has he been upfront about the fact that he doesn't want to be married? Yes. And you were thinking maybe you could change his mind? I thought I was okay. And now I'm like, but it's not. I mean, I understand we both, like we both have kids. Yeah. They're almost all adults. We both are financially stable. That's so heartbreaking. And obviously it is. Yeah, I'm sorry. So I'm just stuck, right? No, I mean, you're not stuck. You're not stuck. You've already decided who you are, and he decided who he is, and that's a bad thing. I'm sorry. Yeah. I wish it didn't feel bad. I wish it didn't feel bad, too, but it feels awful.

1:38:58It hurts because you really, I mean, you like the guy, obviously. I might even say love the guy, but I would just say, you know, I thought I could be okay not being married and I'm not okay. And you're not okay talking about getting married even or getting, you know, counseling for what happened to you. I'm not her. And I feel like she's being held against me and against the institution of marriage. All marriage is not bad. All relationships are hard, including marriage, but all marriages are not bad. All people don't mistreat each other the way she did. And so his conclusion is ill-founded. It's based in scars and pain.

1:39:39And he's unwilling to address it. And here's the other part of it, Kelly. And I'm thinking about this just from if I were in your shoes. I wouldn't want to have to convince somebody of it. Yeah. Do you see what I'm saying? Like even if you laid out some sort of a, hey, if you don't do this, I'm walking. And then if he decided, okay, I'll marry you. That doesn't feel good either, does it? No, it doesn't. It doesn't, because I thought about that. You know, that's the tough part. It's tough. I'm not going to lie. I feel for you. I'm sorry. And it's a few years in the future still, but I don't, I mean, I'm not 20.

1:40:16Well, I mean, you've already started. So I don't want to waste those years. Did you say three years? I wouldn't. No, there's no time in the future. You've been dating for two years. Two years. And you figured out it's not a match. and so you start all right i was hoping you were going to just give me some magic to convince him that it was that it was good but i kind of i i think it is good and i think it's him i think if i were for if i if he was on the phone i would tell him to sit down with a therapist sit down this pastor and start reaching towards some healing from his past because he's he's hurting the scars are dominating his thought pattern rather than his bright future and he's about to lose a great gal because of it.

1:40:57Have you mentioned that to him, that maybe there's some healing that needs to take place?

1:41:05No, I don't think I've ever actually said those words. He had a long-term partner who didn't require marriage, and I think he just kind of settled into that. And then they broke up very easily, right? I mean, it was, hey, let's go our separate ways. So he's never been actually married before? No, no. He was married. And then he had a long-term relationship that she didn't require him to marry. And then she just kind of said, okay, I'm out. I'll see you. And he was like, oh, okay. And he's like, see, I didn't have to go through a divorce. I didn't have to pay a lawyer. This was great. This was so wonderful.

1:41:44And I'm like, but that's not the commitment I want. Yeah, that's exactly right. This is, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, I appreciate you taking my call. I'm sorry. Thanks. Thanks for calling. Oh, that's tough. That is hard. It's hard.

1:42:04That's tough. You have these conversations early and often, and he did say it. He said it from the beginning. Yeah. I mean, you can't argue with a guy in terms of his honesty, but that still doesn't, it's just not a match. Still painful. Yeah. I think the thing is the only thing I might have done if I, looking back on it, I'm trying to look backward on this, is maybe, you know, a little sooner in the product rather than investing two years into it. And because the heartbreak is more extreme the further you're into it. So, ouch, ouch. Lynn is in Columbia, South Carolina. Hey, Lynn, what's up? Hey, thank you for taking my call.

1:42:37Sure. How can we help? um i would love we would love your opinion on if it makes sense in the current housing market to sell our airbnb tell us more why are you thinking of selling it so so i lost my job my position was eliminated about six weeks ago and i'm currently looking for another job but if it doesn't i don't think i'm going to be able to make as much as i was so if it doesn't work out we would definitely have a profit from selling the Airbnb, and we could definitely live on that for a while. Does your husband work? He does. And what does he make? He probably makes only about$37 a year.

1:43:24And let me explain, because he had a business. We moved to South Carolina about a year ago. He had a business, a distributing business, and we were living on mostly on my income because I was at a company for a very long time and they told me that, you know, it would work remotely and regardless, they did eliminate my position. So he's working at a local supermarket in a receiving area. And what were you making? And he also looked me for a higher paying job. I was making probably 90. Doing what? I was an executive adjunct to a president of a company. Now, what made you say that you probably won't make that again?

1:44:07That's a crazy statement. Because in South Carolina, I did that my entire life. And to just step into a position, an executive admin position, there's nothing available currently here that I've looked at in the last six weeks, two months, that starts at that level. Understood. What do they start at? Um, more 40, 50. Interesting. Okay. Uh, back to the Airbnb for a second. Uh, what's it worth? Um, probably 200. And what do you owe on it? 112. Where were you living before? So in Pittsburgh. Is that what you mean? Yeah. And why did you choose South Carolina? um two of our three daughters uh live around the corner from us and one was in charlotte so we needed to be near them and near our grandchildren is airbnb in pittsburgh no so we bought it in 2020 um so that i could come down here and work and be close to the grandkids when i came down and then when we moved down here last year um we decided to Airbnb.

1:45:28Well, actually, I decided to Airbnb in 2020. The answer to your question is simply yes, I would sell it. Okay. But then the other thing I want to address is, number one, your husband needs a different position. And number two, your set of assumptions, I'm... Frankly, I'm very familiar with Columbia, and I'm very familiar with Charlotte, and I'm frankly shocked that you haven't seen any executive positions anywhere, or assistant positions over$40 ,000 or$50 ,000. I know if you go to Charlotte, you would. Oh, of course. That's an hour and a half north, yeah. Well, that's where one of the other kids lives.

1:46:03I heard that. And so you'd be an hour and a half from your grandkid over on that side, but be next to the kid that's in Charlotte. So if you need the income. But I don't know what you all need to make to survive and so forth, but on the back end of your career. But it's an interesting observation, 30 years of doing this, that people, when they lose a job, for some reason, always assume they're going to make less. They never assume it's an opportunity to make more. I don't know why that is. We've had all those years of experience, I would think. Now, Columbia is not a huge market, but it's big enough that there ought to be somebody over 40 playing for an executive assistant.

1:46:47That doesn't feel right. So, but I think it's just a belief system. You're just like, oh, I'm always going to make less because I'm not in Pittsburgh. Well, I mean, that's pretty snobbish. So South Carolina doesn't pay what Pittsburgh pays. Yes, they do. So, hello.

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1:48:44We'll be right back. data out there. It's hard to know what's happening in the housing market. Well, we're here to tell you the latest trends. The latest trends are that home prices held steady last month. 424 ,000 is the median. In October, about one in five houses saw a price cut, which means buyers might have more room in the winter to negotiate, snag a better deal. That's generally true around December. Mortgage rates are at five and a half in October. Nice. To learn more about the housing market trends and get free tools to help you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash market. And we've got all the market data on there.

1:49:22Facts are your friends. Don't listen to the crazy friends of yours. Don't listen to all the whining and the carrying on. It's nuts. Just go find out what the facts are and you'll be amazed at how housing is still there. It's not all gone. Your life isn't over. Everything's okay. Logan's in Dallas. Hey, Logan, how are you? Hey, Dave. I'm doing well. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So my wife and I, we've always had separate bank accounts. And my wife is against combining to one shared account. But lately she's been stressed because she hasn't been able to help out as much as she used to with the bills.

1:50:05So I'm wondering what sort of alternatives we might have. How long have you been married? We just celebrated our 10-year anniversary this year. Why is she against combining accounts? Because she's told me that she feels like if she combines her bank account, she would feel more—she wouldn't feel independent. Got it. Why? She doesn't think you're going to count her vote? She doesn't think that—she doesn't want to spend my money. It's not your money. It's our money. We got married. I know. How'd she grow up? How'd she grow up? She grew up in a – her mom and dad are still together. They have separate accounts, though, as well.

1:50:53She's kind of following in there. Okay, well, let me give you a couple things. Number one, the data tells us, when we did the largest study a millionaire has ever done, that people who combine accounts have a much higher probability of actually becoming millionaires. and 89 % of the millionaires surveyed said that were married said that one of the reasons they became wealthy is they worked in alignment with a spouse that was cooperative and combined everything and so the marriage vows or the old marriage vows are true in the old book of common prayer they used to say for richer for poorer in sickness and health we've all heard that one but In the old ones, they would say, unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge.

1:51:41In other words, we're all in. We're going to share everything, the same bed. We're going to share the same house. We're going to have flu at the same time. We're going to be all in, okay? And we share bank accounts. And it's not your money and my money. It's our money. My wife has not had an income since my 40-year-old daughter was born. but we have an excellent income and i don't we don't ever say dave makes the money sharon doesn't get a vote that really wouldn't work at all but but it also doesn't work at all so we were very careful with our pronouns everything is shared it's our car our everything unless the dog pees on the floor and then it's my dog but other than that it's our everything right and so your dog But yeah, but other than my dog, everything is we, our, us.

1:52:35And this is what we are doing. We built a house. We bought a car. We went on a trip. We saved up some money for retirement. We bought some investment real estate. We do it all. And there's a tremendous marital benefit to that as well. Because when you agree on the overall, let's put all the money in one pile. And we have to sit down and both of us have an equal vote. I'm not suggesting she loses her independence. I'm suggesting she lost her independence when she got married. You did too, by the way. You now promise to work with someone the rest of your life on things. You gave up being independent.

1:53:11Independent was when you were living by yourself in an apartment. That's independent. But you didn't lose your identity when you got married, but you did lose your independence. You are now interdependent, thank God. and now we're going to work together. And I really, really, really, I can't stress this enough, what it will do for your relationship, because here's the thing. When you agree on your spending, you got the whole money in a pile, and we sit down together, she gets a vote, you get a vote, we're going to spend our money together. You are agreeing on what you fear. You are agreeing on your dreams.

1:53:50You are agreeing on your values. you are agreeing on what we're going to be generous with and when you don't combine it you don't have all that agreement and so a level of unity a level of oneness is missing from your relationship i'm telling you man your relationship will double in quality when she gives this up yeah when i hear this i i hear somebody who what's at the root of this i think it sounds it sounds powerful for women to say oh at the root of this is like i'm a feminist and i'm a i'm an independent woman who don't need no man but really what's at the fear the root of it is fear is what i hear is somebody who's fearful that if i combine 100 with this person something could happen down the line and i could be left out to dry i could be the one left holding the bag i could be the one that ends up getting screwed out of this by the way the law says otherwise us but that's what's that's the law protects that that's what's ticking in her mind and so that's that's the the the nerve that i'd be going after is when i think of the word independence that means you're free from something and in this case you're free from me i don't want you to be free from me i want us to be together and what i'm thinking is you're thinking about will you be protected in the future could something happen to you let's talk about all of that i think if you can speak her language on this, you can come together on this.

1:55:11Yeah. Just the problem is if you don't, you're lowering the quality of your marriage, the probability of your marriage working, and you're lowering the probability of building wealth. The data tells us all that. Right. Those are facts. It's not a feeling and it's not a spiritual statement. It's a data-based statement. And we know that from having done this for 30 years and haven't studied. We research project a research project out there on this. And so, young man, if you're out there and you want to get married and you want to never be told what to do, never have someone have an opinion on whether you go by and have a beer after work or never have, don't get married.

1:55:58Because it's what's going to happen. That's one of the things you give up. You now have acquiesced to someone else's desires. Sure, 100%. Young man, if you're getting married. Young woman, if you're getting married, if you want to be independent and be a feminist, you shouldn't be. Marriage is not for you. Well, life just changes. It's not for you. The definitions change. It's not that you have to submit to the men. It's quite the opposite of that. He's got to submit to you, too. Submit yourselves one to another, Ephesians says. Both of you. serve each other, both of you. And this is what creates high quality relationships.

1:56:38This is what creates high probability building wealth. Oh, by the way, careers take off too. It's the weirdest thing. And the data says that people who combine their money, they're just happier. Like just day to day, they're happier. Arthur Brooks' happiness study, he finds that stuff in marriage all the time. The cooperation creates the happiness. And as opposed to I'm standing up for my rights. Well, and it's building trust because when you can do money together, the thing you've learned about each other is I can depend on you and you can depend on me. I keep my word. You keep your word. We keep our word.

1:57:12And when you do that. That's good right there. You're good. That'll preach. You're good to go. Yeah, it's an integrity verification. That's right. That's right. That's strong. That's strong because, you know, and it's not in his situation. his situation doesn't apply this but i can't tell you the reason that that that song sings right there is the number of times i run into someone who's got financial infidelity they also have sexual infidelity yeah yep there's a correlation oftentimes we run it we run into it a lot in the counseling office here so it's just oh man wow hey that's a cool question thanks for putting it out it is

1:58:19Thank you. Buying and selling a home is a big deal and you want an expert in your corner fighting for you to get the right deal at the right price. That's why we only recommend Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agents. They're hand-picked pros who know their stuff, listen to your needs, and have your back from the first call all the way to closing day. To find a Ramsey Trusted Agent near you, visit RamseySolutions.com slash agent. RamseySolutions.com slash agent.

1:59:04our scripture of the day Colossians 4-5 be wise in the way you should act toward outsiders make the most of every opportunity Thomas Sowell said why is there so much effort being put into trying to find intelligent life on other planets when there is serious question about how much intelligent life there is here not bad not bad at all alright All right. Aaron's in Pittsburgh. Hey, Aaron, what's up? Hi, Dave. Hi, Jade. Thank you both for all you do. And thank you for taking my call today. Sure. Thank you. How can we help? So I kind of call it on a whim. But basically, just a quick question. Me and my husband are on baby steps four, five and six.

1:59:49And, you know, I have two boys ages 16 and 12. They both want some pretty expensive clothing for Christmas. One hoodie, for example, can be anywhere from, you know,$150 to$300. And I grew up without money. And so, you know, I just look at that and I think, you know, I could buy five hoodies for that price. And I just need to know, am I crazy? You know, it's a Christmas gift. is it okay to spend a lot of money on like one item of clothing um i mean i feel like it's okay but i guess what's your household income like right around right below 300 000 is it the fact that is it the 150 because you might spend 150 on i don't know a buy or to 300 on a bike or scooter or a gaming system, right?

2:00:47But is it the fact that it's clothing specifically or is it the money specifically? It's honestly clothing. You know, it's like I said, you know, I mean. Okay, so it's not the money. It's the fact you don't feel like it's a good value. Yes, exactly. I don't feel like it's a good value. And I'm just like, you know, like I said, one hoodie is$300. I'm like, oh my goodness, I could use that money. I'm so out of it. I was not aware there was a hoodie that was over$70. No, there is. What's the brand of this? I'm such a dad joke. What is the brand of this? I think it's called Spider. There's like a five in the middle.

2:01:27Okay. Is that ski wear? Spider ski wear? That stuff can be expensive. I think some rapper made it. Oh, okay. It's what's popular at school. They want to be, you know, they want the latest thing. I get it. Okay. So now there's two parts to the discussion then. And, you know, it might be fun to sit down and talk to them about it and go, okay, I grew up poor, so this is hard for me. This is you talking. Okay. Number one. Number two, we have the money. And I'm concerned about two things here, because I think you are. I'm going to put words in your mouth. You tell me if I'm wrong. Okay. I'm concerned that we're buying something super expensive just so you feel better about yourself at school.

2:02:18And so that you think you look cool and you think that clothing makes you look cool instead of just, by the way, being cool is a better way to look cool. And then the second thing is that I'm worried about what I'm teaching you when I do this for you. I can afford it and I'm willing to overcome my childhood part in order to do this for you. But I'm worried about you guys and what I'm teaching you if I do this. Because it's not a very good, it's not a good use of the money. You're buying one thing and one thing only here and it's prestige. You're not buying the quality of clothing. You're buying the name.

2:02:59and so it would be the equivalent of a 16 year old girl wanting a uh what two thousand dollar coach purse yeah okay and and you know which is why does she need that purse when she you know she doesn't at school okay the same thing yeah i'm making this up but uh you know an expensive item and is a coach purse worth that no you're paying for the fact that people see you carrying a louis baton or carrying a coach. That's what you're paying for. The purse itself is not constructed, you know, 8X better. And this hoodie is not constructed. The quality of the material or something is not double what the$75.

2:03:40So, I mean, you just kind of talk that through with them and go, what is it that's driving you to want this? And because as your mom, I want you, My job is not to make you happy right now. My job is to raise you to be a complete grown-up. I'm trying to raise great grown-ups, not great kids. And that's my job. And this is how we talk to our teens. And we would say, okay, what's the value system? What matters here? And I'm not shaming you. I just want you guys to think through this. And once we've talked it through, if I'm convinced that you think you're cool without this, I might get it for you.

2:04:15I'd also I'm gonna throw another question in there because I'm a creative and I always am encouraging my kids to be themselves I'd want to know is this a trend you're trying to set or is this a trend you're trying to follow that's what I'd want to know because if you're trying to set a trend I'm all in with you really I love I want you to yes leader of the first one to the game Yeah, I like that. Early adopter. Wow. That's interesting. Huh. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I just, I don't want our, we don't, none of us, none of the three of us, Erin, you, me, or Jade, want our kids to have their self-esteem based in what they wear or what they own.

2:05:02Right. Stuff-based self-esteem is really shallow. And it's kind of Instagram influencer crap. you know and it's like it's a shallow it's all about how you look and instead of who you are and it's all about who who sees you with this and that's that kind of thing one of rachel's rules my daughter's rules is if if no one ever sees me with this would i still buy it so good yeah that's good and she's in other words i'm buying it for me not for someone else see i when i was in my 20s i drove a jaguar because i wanted everybody to think i was wealthy and had a Jaguar. Now I drive, the only cars I have are for me.

2:05:43I don't care what you think. Because I went broke and I lost all my, I care what you think, it all went away. I don't give a crap now what you think. So I drive whatever I want to drive. And if you don't like it, I couldn't care less. I'm not taking a pole. So, you know, and so I drove in a pickup today and I'm just, it's a great pickup, but I don't care. I can drive whatever I want to drive. And I like the car. so that but i but when i was in my 20s i was real concerned about what you thought so rachel's rule is a good rule too i love that if no one ever saw you yeah i like the trendsetter thing that's interesting yeah because you know teach them to lead there's always something that's the big trend and it's like if you get it you're part of the cool people you're part of the group and it's like no you you make the trend and let everybody come and follow what you're doing i i care and i and i worry too i worry too that you know that this is the trend now and if i buy it in another three months it won't be 100 it won't be no this time next year it's in the goodwill pa goodwill no question no question it's going it's going it's going to the homeless this time next year there's um there's a there's a viral video going around social media of a mom and she's asking her daughter who's probably somewhere between the age of your boy somewhere between 12 and 16 she says hey uh remember do you remember what you got for Christmas last year no have you seen that she can't think of any of them most kids I can't tell you but then she said where did we go on vacation and the daughter remembered exactly where they went so that right there is a good indicator of how experiences are better than stuff yeah how their minds are I I would use this as a teachable moment and instead of saying am I spending too much money it's what am i getting for the money i'm spending and part of the one of the things i'm getting is the lesson that you two boys learn from this and i got to become convinced that you think that you're awesome without this hoodie and if you think a hoodie makes you awesome i'm not getting it because i'm not gonna i'm not gonna cause your self-esteem to be based in what you're wearing ever that's not a lesson we not not at the ramsays and not at aaron's house and you know i think it'd be a great growing up thing for them to talk about peer pressure and yeah you know all this stuff and trend setting and following the cool kids and all that crap yeah yeah i think it's a great it's a great conversation to have it is and um you know teenagers actually and if you'll come in and start with i grew up poor so this is hard for me start with vulnerability they'll really listen.

2:08:24I bet. I bet. That puts us our The Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

2:08:53Thank you.