If You Want Wealth Do What Wealthy People Do

23:30Dave Ramsey:And you can just start with the idea that even if I'm getting in your face or one of us is, it's because we love you and we want you to win. And that formula has propelled us to be one of the biggest brands in the entire marketplace. It's a simple formula. And so when we're coming up with something, sometimes something is our opinion. Sometimes it's data-based, based in data. And sometimes it's based in 35 years of doing this. I got socks older than some of you. So I know what the flip I'm doing. This is not my first ride on the cabbage truck. So some of it's based in that, and some of it's based in the research that we've done and observable trends.

24:11Dave Ramsey:And some things we have shifted, and some things are based on principle, and we don't shift them based on principle. This whole marriage thing never came up in the first 20 years of doing this show. It was not a big deal. But in case you didn't know, if you're an old fogey like me, I'm not just bringing this stuff up because I'm an old fogey and I'm an out-of-touch boomer or something like that, although those things might be true. But that's not the basis for the argument. The basis for the argument is I love you, number one. And number two, it is the data tells us this. And there's all kinds of data now on this.

24:45Dave Ramsey:It's hardcore. Today, if you didn't know, more people live together that aren't married than live together who are married. And that line crossed about 11, 12 years ago. And I remember the first time I read it, it kind of blew my mind because I'm an old school. the dinosaurs used to play in my backyard. I mean, it was, you know, I'm that guy. So, but here's the actual, here's a couple of the pieces of the data. There's a thing that's been around since the sixties and Bill Clinton, when he was president, had a whole nother set of research done that was detailed and very good research done called the success sequence.

25:25Dave Ramsey:Listen to this. If you can teach your children, or if you are still young enough that you can do these three things. Do them in this order. If you first graduate from high school, then get a full time job, then get married, then have kids. High school before babies, marriage before babies, full time job before marriage and before babies. Real simple. Doesn't say what kind of job. You You don't have to be a doctor or a lawyer. If you graduate from high school and then get a full-time job and then get married, and only then do you have children, 97 % of millennials who completed all three steps in that order were at middle income or higher by their mid-30s.

26:21Dave Ramsey:Only 3 % were in poverty. All the people living in poverty violated that success sequence. 97 % who followed that success sequence are not in poverty. That's a huge number. That's everybody. When you statistically adjust, 3 % goes away. Okay? Within a 3 % margin of error, which means it's all of them. Okay? Now, median net worth of married households is greater at all age levels. marriage householders at 35 years old had 13.8 times 13 14 times the wealth of an unmarried female and almost five times the wealth of an unmarried male so more than 15 times our last caller is off on net worth if she doesn't follow the sequence or get back in line in the sequence as fast as she can the way i was telling her to do married americans in their 50s have more than twice as much net worth of divorced and never married Americans.

27:30Dave Ramsey:And we're just going to live together and act like we're married our entire life, and it's because we're all hippies. The data says you suck. That's what the data says. You failed epically. That's what it says. We did our own Ramsey study of millionaires, the largest study a millionaire has ever done. 46 % of Americans are married. 80 % of the millionaires are married. Married men earn 26 % more income than unmarried men. Apparently she has a stick and she beats your butt out the back door to go get a job. Married couples also benefit from dual income. They reach goals faster. They have tax advantages, married filing jointly.

28:18Dave Ramsey:They have more retirement contributions with spousal IRAs, etc. So they end up with more money. Hello. Married men live eight to nine years longer than unmarried men. Apparently women keep them from doing stupid stuff. You're not going to drive that, are you? You're not going to eat that, are you? You're not going to climb out there, are you? Women live four to six years longer. Ours is shorter, ladies. The ladies don't get as much health benefit. Better recovery from health. We just get our lives away. If you have a major health thing, you have a 20 % better survival rate from cancer if you're married.

28:57Dave Ramsey:This is actual data. Lower rates of depression, anxiety, suicide, fatigue syndrome, especially in men and in women in their 50s. This is data. All the data reports that married people have more sex and better sex. That's what all the surveys tell us. and all the data comes in when the research is properly done and controlled for. There is a huge advantage to doing this stuff right. And so you can call me names and you can put all your crap and bull crap on Reddit about Dave Ramsey's out of touch or whatever, but you just don't have any data to back up your stupid butt opinion. That's your problem.

29:40Dave Ramsey:And we do. And so we're going to tell you the truth. truth and and some of you are not going to like it oh well you'll have to listen to something else because this is called the ramsey show which means it's like our opinion not yours so and ours is based in the fact that we love you we want you to win and it's based in the data and the 30 years of experience of doing this 10 million families have been through financial Peace University. You don't agree with the baby steps? Shut the hell up. You don't know what you're talking about. 10 million people say you're an idiot. I'm serious. You know, it's like the funny, the hilarious one that used to bother me.

30:27Have you been on Reddit recently? This is so

30:29Dave Ramsey:funny. It's so bad. Reddit is awful. I know. Get off of it. Get off of it. It's a sewer. Don't read I don't get in it. Okay, good. I try to stay out of it for that reason. But it's just people are so stupid. So here's a funny one, okay? I have to go back and look at it. But there's something like 60 ,000 people have left ratings on the Total Money Makeover book. I've sold almost 20 million of them. Okay? The book has a 4.75 stars out of 5, which means almost all 5 stars. and yet after thousands, tens of thousands of people leave five stars, some genius comes on and says, I'm going to leave a one star.

31:08Dave Ramsey:Obviously, you're wrong. They can. No, you can, but you're obviously just stating how stupid you are based on the survey, the data that's in front of you, not based on the book, not based on me.

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32:54Dave Ramsey:If you want to get on the same page with your spouse or you want to just be able to feel in control with your money, you have to have a plan. If you manage money for a company called You Incorporated and you manage money for You Incorporated the way you manage money for You Now, would you fire you? Well, then don't expect to prosper. Hello? So sit down, lay out a game plan in detail, address the issues on paper, on purpose before the month begins. The way to do that in a digital world is the world's best budgeting app, EveryDollar, and it will hold your hand and coach you the Ramsey way all the way through.

33:30Dave Ramsey:You can download the EveryDollar budgeting app for free in the App Store or Google Play, and I suggest you do that immediately. Sophia is in Greenville, South Carolina. Hi, Sophia. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? okay so i'm calling to see if i should sell my house or keep it um and i'm questioning if i should sell it maybe just to try to like build wealth faster and maybe pay off the home sooner um i just recently did a new build in december 2024 and it was a total of 361 670 And I put a down payment of$36 ,167, which left me with a loan of$325 ,503 for a monthly payment of$2 ,454.98.

34:27Now, the thing, though, is I just recently started listening to you guys, and the$2 ,500 of my monthly payment is technically almost 50 % of my income. I'm bringing in$5 ,200 a month.

34:41Dave Ramsey:Does the$5 ,200 a month have health insurance taken out before you get it? Yes. Does it have 401k taken out before you get it? Correct. Okay, that is not the number that we're talking about. Oh, okay. Your take-home pay that we're talking about is just net of taxes only. Okay, I see. So if you add back the health insurance and your 401K contributions, that's the percentage we would want to be lower. What's your income? You said$5 ,000 a month, so that's 60. So you're making 75 or 80? Yeah, I'm like at 83. Okay. Are you getting a tax refund? I did this year, my first, well, not my first year, but only because I think of my mortgage insurance.

35:30And that was my first time itemizing.

35:34Dave Ramsey:And so how much was your tax refund? It was like$1 ,500. Okay. All right. So that's another$100 a month plus,$125 a month plus that you would add back in because you're having too much taxes taken out of your check. Yes. You follow me? So if we add$125 plus health insurance plus 401k, this doesn't sound quite so dire anymore, I suspect. What do you think it's more at then? 40%, Sophia, if you had to guess? Yeah, because I think so for my 401k, I do technically it's$207.50 a check. So I get paid twice a month, almost like$400 a month. Plus, I do$68 in, hold on, that's my medical insurance. But my HSA is$75 a check.

36:35Okay. So that's like$640 you could add back in. so it wouldn't be super significant from a percentage standpoint and the reason i also ask is because i do have a deteriorating eye condition and so at some point i could lose my vision completely um there's not like an estimate of time of when it could happen because it varies by person and so that's just kind of like one of my fears well what if it you know it could be five

37:08Dave Ramsey:years it could be 25 years how old are you i'm 41 okay all right well i mean you have you don't have enough house payment that i am panicked with the thing with the adjustments that we've just made but it is a little bit tight and has your income been going up pretty steadily yeah luckily i do get um about like two percent um cost of living right from here not much then yeah not a lot that's not going to bail you out anytime soon all right okay well just the warning that you have to give yourself is no you don't have to panic and put a for sale sign in the yard today but there's two problems one is you don't have enough margin to be able to build and invest like you need to and two is without any margin to save everything that comes up is going to be a potential debt in the future are you carrying any debt other than the house no um and i'm able to save about like a thousand a month after like you know my utilities and food and stuff you're a very precise person okay well i i think you're gonna be okay you got to just make sure the next car is cash the heat and air goes out it's cash you've got your emergency fund in place it's cash and i would say though if you look up in six months sophia and you're still strained and life is miserable because of this house your house is supposed to be a blessing and when it eats into your income so much, there may be a world that you're like, you know what, it's not worth it.

38:39I would rather have half the house, half the mortgage and enjoy my life a little bit more, right? I mean, being stretched so thin can be exhausting. You're not though, you got a thousand bucks margin, which is amazing. So give yourself a little bit of time, but I would say if you do look up, your house is not worth stressing and losing sleep over. And so if you wanted to downsize, You've got to factor in fees and commissions and everything that goes into the final purchase price. But I wouldn't be mad if you did decide to make that move.

39:11Dave Ramsey:Yeah. The good news about you is you're so precise and detailed in planning that it's not going to sneak up on you. You're going to know a long time. You get stress relief and anxiety relief from details. Well, if you know the details, you're calmer, right? Correct. Yeah. I could tell, by the way, you're$207.14. Hello. I mean, you know, that kind of stuff, right? So that's the beauty of who you are. And that's going to work to your advantage because what happens when you can be strained by the house, we call it house poor, is it sneaks up on people. And then they go, oh, I've got to have a car.

39:48Dave Ramsey:Oh, wait a minute. Why don't I have any money? Oh, I've got to put a heat and air on that thing. Oh, why don't I have any money? And you're going to know. You're not going to say why don't I. You're going to know exactly where your money is. So, Sophia, do you have a lot of savings just on the side for an emergency? Right now I have about$7 ,000, and I'm trying to – I would like to do six months just because of my vision. Yeah, you need to. It might be harder. You need to. And I don't drive, so it would have to be like a remote job. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, your$1 ,000 savings needs to all go on emergency funds right now until you get it up to where you need it to be.

40:24Dave Ramsey:because, again, that savings is also going to give you pad. And keeping up with the detail and a big pile of cash is going to remove stress for you. And then if you can see the thing, the numbers start to go the wrong way, you can sell the house like Rachel said. But for today, as long as you're not feeling so pinched you can't breathe, I would not keep it if it's bothering you. But I don't hear it bothering you. The only thing you were concerned about was the Ramsey show said your ratios were off. Yeah. And they are off, but they're not we off like we thought when we first started the call. So, yeah, you've you're going to be fine because you're such a planner and because of what you're facing medically, I guess you have to be right.

41:07Dave Ramsey:And that's just a really good way to react to your situation overall. And I would apply the same diligence to career options that you could look at and move towards as your site starts to go. And, you know, depending on the timeline, like you said, it might be two years, it might be 25. You don't know. So we'll pray for the 25 or never that either one of those will be fine. Right. But in the meantime, yeah, let's start thinking about what our next thing is that we can make$80 ,000 doing with even. if this medical condition gives us a fit. So I think you're a pretty impressive girl. I think you're sharp.

41:47Dave Ramsey:So I think you're going to be okay. But don't keep the house if it steals your life. That was Rachel's tune, and I agree with that one. Wow. Real estate is awesome until it's not. When you buy real estate and it makes you a broker, that's why they call them brokers. be careful don't buy too much

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43:47Dave Ramsey:Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. Rachel Cruz is my co-host today. Nicole is in Philadelphia. Hi, Nicole. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. What's up? So I'm about to get married to my fiancé, and we're looking over our budget because we want to be on the same page financially. And I'm realizing that he really prioritizes giving, which is something that I agree with, but it's getting to the point where he doesn't want to put anything in savings because he wants to trust in the Lord's provision in our lives. And so I was just wondering if you guys had any advice on that or how you decide what to tithe and what to save.

44:31Dave Ramsey:Wow. What a great guy. Honestly. I mean, seriously. I mean, you can find somebody that gives like that and has a heart like that. He's going to be a great husband because he's going to take care of you. You guys are going to prosper. He just needs to fine-tune his doctrinal understanding a little bit because he's off. Biblically, he's off. Okay. Okay. Because the Bible is very clear. In the house of the wise, Proverbs says, are stores of choice food and oil. And when Solomon wrote that, choice food and oil were signs of wealth. Oil kept the lamps lit in the temple in the Holy of Holies. Oil was used as a craft of oil was used as a medium of exchange in a biblical marketplace.

45:21Dave Ramsey:Of course, choice food was only eaten by aristocrats. everyone else got hummus this is the middle east okay everyone you know meat was a rarity choice food like you and i eat every day is a sign of wealth so again in the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil wise people save money okay they don't cop out and say i'm going to trust in the lord's provision although we all need to trust in the Lord's provision. Wise farmers plant corn. They don't look at the mud and go, I'm going to trust in the Lord's provision. They sow because they know they're going to reap what they sow. Right?

46:09Dave Ramsey:Yes. So there's a cause and effect thing that the Bible is very clear on. The Bible also says that if you don't first take care of your own household, you're worse than an unbeliever. So when you're generous to the point that your own household is at risk, that's not biblical. How do you decide what puts your household at risk and what is? Well, I think that's the ultimate discussion between the two of you. But we certainly have to have needs covered, and that includes saving. That we have to have needs covered, and that includes basic provision for the home. and so we don't give away a million dollars and mom drives a 93 camry right see that's automatically we can look at those ratios and go something's screwed up here yeah and the thing about looking at it through a spiritual lens is is god gives us a brain reason is also a major pillar especially when you look you know within catholicism the orthodox church i mean like reason is godly as well, right?

47:14So when it just doesn't make sense, it's okay to plug in your common sense and your reason to say, huh, that feels a little bit off. It feels like when we live on the edge of a cliff month to month, probably not the wisest thing overall when it comes to our levels of stress and anxiety, right? Like the warnings about money in scripture is about a level of trusting so much in something, worldly like wealth. It is, I mean, like there's major, for sure, warnings about where it's positioned in our lives and our call of, are we worshiping it more than something else, right? I mean, like all of that is very real, but living at the edge of that, that's not sensical, right?

47:57And I think God does understand that he gave us a brain, too, Nicole. So there is like a level to say it's okay for you to tell him. Like, that just doesn't make sense logically, too.

48:09Dave Ramsey:A lot of worse things can be said about you at your funeral, though, other than you were generous. For sure. You ever heard the phrase he's generous to a fault? No, but it feels applicable. She's like, that's my fiance. It's kind of an old-fashioned piece of language, right? Generous to a fault. And that's what it is. But if you're going to have a fault, that's a pretty good one to have, you know, because it's such an indication of a wonderful, warm heart, good man, smiles a lot, easy to get along with. He's not stressed out over stuff. I mean, this guy is just a good guy. I already like him. I just want him to tune his biblical knowledge a little bit to make sure his family is cared for while he's living this out.

48:56And that's why what I hear in Unical calling to be like, I love him and it's great. But also there's a little of a shakiness there that's not stable that I don't like.

49:09Dave Ramsey:And I'm not accusing him of this yet. But if he persists in this, I'll accuse him of it. OK, because here's the thing. I get people throughout. I mean, I meet these people. I'm a Christian. I've always said this is biblically based stuff on the Ramsey show. I've always taught in churches, all this stuff. And so, but I get my brothers and sisters in Christ, some of them are over saved and they, you know, they like, we're not going to buy health and I'm not going to buy health insurance. We're going to pray. No, you're an idiot. And don't be an idiot and call yourself a Christian. That's dumb. Okay.

49:42Dave Ramsey:You need to take care of your family. No, I'm not going to have life insurance. God will take care of. Yeah. You ain't worried about it. You're going to be dead. How about your wife and kiddo? They need some money when you're dead. So you need life insurance. I mean, this is, so this, like you said, reason, God gave you a brain, use it. Yes. You know, and don't, don't blame your stupidity on Christianity. It makes those of us that use our brain that are Christians ashamed of you. Don't do that. Now your husband's not in that category. I'm not putting him there, but if he persists in this, I'll put him there.

50:15Dave Ramsey:It's because I want him to adjust this beautiful part of who he is to where it includes saving, and that is not evil. You're not hoarding. Larry Burkett, the most famous teacher in evangelicalism on Christian money, biblical finance, is where I learned a lot of things from many, many years ago. He's been gone several years. He's been in heaven a long time. But Larry used to say the only difference in saving and hoarding is attitude. It's not an amount. It's why are you doing it? And so you need saving and you need wise, careful spending and you need giving. And you need to teach your kids to do all three things.

50:57Dave Ramsey:And by the way, you're going to have wonderful children from this guy. This guy is going to be a great dad. I mean, generous people are the easiest. They have money for them. They're the easiest ones to work with. They're the easiest ones to work with because they've just got good hearts. They're not selfish. people. Selfish people are harder to work with. No, I know, but I want him to be smart. For Nicole's sake, he needs to be smart though. So that's my... I just schooled him up. I agree. You did. Yep. I agree. But living life with an open hand is part of what we talk about. And even the idea of doing the baby steps and building wealth, it's not for you just to hold and just to buy more stuff and that's it, right?

51:35It is to bless your family, bless those around you, live like no one else till later you get to live and give like no one else. Giving is a central part of our message because it is a huge piece that defines your character. But again, you can't unplug your brain from reality of living in 2026.

51:51Dave Ramsey:Great call. Great question. Thank you.

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54:27Dave Ramsey:Alex is in Detroit. Hey, Alex, how are you? Hi, Dave. Hi, Rachel. It's a pleasure to speak with you both. You too. What's up? I'd like to get your guys' perspective on whether it makes sense for my wife to leave her highly stressful job and become a stay-at-home mom while homeschooling our children. So we have a four-year-old and an almost two-year-old, and our oldest is scheduled to start kindergarten this fall. So does it make financial sense if we drop down to one income and just have her become a stay-at-home mom? I guess a little bit of background. What does the math tell you? Can you live on your income?

55:15The math tells us it works. Yeah, the math tells us it works. I have everything plugged into every dollar here. But it would mean right now we're triple paying on our mortgage. So we wouldn't be able to do that anymore. We'd have to drop down on some of the other things as well. But our current household, I make$103 ,000.

55:38Dave Ramsey:What does she make? She makes$80 ,000. Okay. So you're basically cutting your household income in half, all right? And you're going to go to$100 ,000 household income, which is above the national average, by the way. Still, when you do that, you're right now almost triple the national average. and um triple well not quite double oh now because with now like the 180 i'm sorry yeah the um uh uh so i mean yes it's the way you've formed your sentences it's what you all want to do both of you yeah it's you just hate to give up the triple house payment yeah exactly you know You know, we have a fully funded emergency fund.

56:25We got 30 grand in there. We got 26 grand in a car fund for when our car goes out. We have a Christmas fund that's fully funded for this year. We got a little bit in a vacation fund. So we have some savings, you know, available. We're not going to live on that.

56:38Dave Ramsey:We're going to live on the hundred. Right, right. But our mortgage is 1300. So dropping that down with the take-home pay of just me would put us at 29 % of our house-to-income ratio. So it's a little higher than I know 25, but I still think it's doable. Yeah, very much doable. Yeah, I mean, here's the thing, Alex, is money is not supposed to be the thing that drives you. Money is the tool to create a life that you guys want. And the way you phrased the question is exactly right. It's exactly how I heard it was you didn't say my wife wants to leave this amazing, wonderful, high paying, fulfilling job to homeschool our kids.

57:22It was like she wants to leave a very stressful job to be home with our kids. You know what I mean? Like the way you even presented it means that this is is this what she wants to do? Does she want to do this? A hundred percent. OK. Yeah. Yes. She's on call 24 seven. Yes. Yes. And it's hard to be present, be a mom and do that. That's tough. What does she do? She's in aviation. She's a trip coordinator in aviation for her clients. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. What do you do? Same thing, except I'm on the operations side. Okay.

57:56Dave Ramsey:What's your career trajectory? What will you be making in five years?

58:03That's a good question. I haven't actually researched that. I'm not entirely sure. What do you think? I will say... Based on the last five years, what do you think? Well, in 2022, I was making$60K, and now I'm at$103K, so I've almost doubled up in three years. I don't expect it to go up too much higher, especially in the next three years. But I would say maybe$120K,$130K in the next five years.

58:32Dave Ramsey:Well, that would just be cost of living only. You need to be doing better than that. But I don't know anything about your world, what it should pay. I'm just saying that's one of my considerations is we're looking at this at a snapshot rather than a film strip. The snapshot is today, but life is not a snapshot. It's a film strip. So the next frame will be different. The next frame will be different. And five years from now, you'll be making more. Five years from now, you'll have a nine-year-old. Five years from now, you'll have a seven-year-old. And so these things start to – the picture starts to change as you go through the film.

59:05Yeah. And Alex and I just know, even with my own group of friends, I've had some that homeschool that still do. I have some that homeschool for three years and then they were like, eh, I kind of want to go back and do that. You know, you guys can make different decisions too. This isn't a decision you have to make that's going to be your forever. So you guys have worked hard. You've sacrificed. You've made wise choices to get to this place that it's even an option. If you called us and said, oh, I make 30 grand and she makes a hundred and she wants to quit. I don't think we can live on 30. You wouldn't have an option at that point.

59:33You both would have to work.

59:34Dave Ramsey:The math would tell you no. That's right. So everything's a green light to me. Yeah, I hear green light. If you want to be super sure, and you're a very detailed person, I can also tell that by the way you're asking the questions and answering the questions. You could real simply between now and the time that you're going to pull the plug on this, just practice living on your income. Because it'll be August. And banking her entire income. Yeah, next month, you guys just do that. Plus or minus daycare or whatever else is going to go away when she comes home. right? You'll save on daycare. You'll save some on car gas when she comes home.

1:00:10Dave Ramsey:You'll save some on clothing when she comes home. Is that true, Alex? What's the child care situation? We both work from home and watch our kids here, so we don't have any daycare costs. Okay. Yeah. Well, yeah, regardless, I mean, I just think, I think it's what you guys want to do. And again, everything else supports it. So I'm a, I'm a yes. If you wanted to ask if, Should my wife, can my wife quit? She can. Yes. Under the scenario that you just came out with, is there a portion, can she do something? I mean, a different, maybe a halftime of what she's doing now. I think she wants to homeschool and be home.

1:00:50Dave Ramsey:I know, but they're both at home now watching the kids. That's new information I just got. It's brand new information. Yeah, it is. Bury the lead. That's from us. But the, yeah. It's fine. I know. It's fine. Mathematically, you know, if you're both going to the office and she doesn't want to go to the office anymore and she wants to stay home full time, that's fine. If she's already doing this from home and she could just cut back by 75 percent. Yeah, and do a little something. If she wants. That would be fine. And all of a sudden the thing, it may be a toxic environment, the company, I don't know.

1:01:21But it's not too toxic.

1:01:24Dave Ramsey:She's not there. Well, the boundary. It sounds like no boundary. She's on call 24-7 is what he said. Yeah, you could drop that and say, I'm going to pick up these pieces of operations in the booking, and I'll work this many hours a day. If she wants, yeah. If you can find that kind of thing. She's got the ability to do that because you're already both there. You're already both watching the kids. So, yeah. Wow. All right. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you are with us. If you're facing that kind of thing, the Every Dollar Budgeting app can help. Rachel said it.

1:02:00Dave Ramsey:He said it. Sit down and just run your budget out as if the other person's income wasn't there. And then exactly what does it look like? Yeah. And that tells you. And then the pure proof is in the pudding is let's say she was in an office and you said, OK, other than daycare, we're going to bank her whole check. In this case, you'd bank her whole check for a couple months and prove to yourself you can live on his check, right? And if you just bank it, just put it over there in a little account for three or four months, and you can always move it on to another goal later, throw it on the house or whatever else.

1:02:38Dave Ramsey:You just set it over there. Pay one house payment and bank her check and see what the budget looks like. And prove it to yourself. I mean, because if you do that for like three months, you'll be going, oh, yeah, we can do this. or, oh, this is awful. I don't want to do this. It'll expose. It puts all the theory to test.

1:03:23Thank you.

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1:05:15Dave Ramsey:Haley is in Portland, Oregon. Hey, Haley, what's up? Hi. I have a question or looking for advice. Okay. How me and my boyfriend have been together for like two years. We're house hunting. I have money to put down to make an affordable down payment. How do I convey to him, I'm not going to continue looking for houses until we get married? What would happen if you just said that? I've said it, and it's like not hitting. So he continues looking. I'm interested to hear Rachel's take, because my take as the old guy is that women have been saying, put a ring on it, or you get nut and honey, since time began.

1:06:05Dave Ramsey:Right. This is like a normal thing. So I don't know. Yeah. What was it? Where did the conversation lead to the fact that you guys were actually looking at houses? Or did you change your mind in the middle of it? Thinking like, I don't think I want to buy a house with a guy I'm not married to. And you changed your mind? Or did he just randomly start looking at houses? Like, how did it even begin? No, like, it's been like progressive and like worked up to it. and then looking and me having inheritance where I could put a substantial chunk down. But I own my house outright currently. And I, yeah, I'm not looking at uprooting my kid until I have like that marital commitment and insurance.

1:06:52For sure.

1:06:53Dave Ramsey:Yeah. So. Very smart. For you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's some version of put a ring on it, honey. I mean, you know, I mean, it's. Yeah, because I've said I don't just want a ring to do this. I don't want to engage in. No, I mean, get married. That's my way of saying get married. Yeah. I'm agreeing with you. Yeah. Women have been saying not until we're married for as long as time has begun. Okay. And so, and a few guys, but not as many. yeah i already own a business i don't i don't want to how old are you i want to i i'm 39 yeah so you're you're an established like adult person yeah you're not in a needy position at all no it's not at all do you think he will be the one you marry i i would love to marry him um he's a great guy.

1:07:50I just, I'm not into like mingling the finances and I've said it and, and it's just, it's very dangerous.

1:07:58Dave Ramsey:I think you're just going to have to have a very clear, no child in the room, no music playing, no distraction, very clear, define the relationship conversation. And just, you know, here's what I think. I think I love you. And I think I do want to spend my life with you. I'm not going to because I've worked so hard to get where we are and because this is inherited money my grandmother would roll over in her grave and it's just not wise right now and I just don't feel the wisdom in this and I'm not going to do this out of order and so I'll be happy to look at a home together and even put my home involved or some of my money involved or whatever because we're going to combine our lives when we're married but until we're married I'm not going to and you just need to hear that and if that's a deal breaker for you than you need to think about that.

1:08:46Okay.

1:08:47Dave Ramsey:I mean, you just got a kind of clarity, right? I've tried to make it pretty clear, but he continues to look at houses and consider my family. Well, you can go look at houses, but I'm not. Yeah. What's his living situation? He has an apartment and cars and$20 ,000 to put down on a house, which isn't much for a down payment these days. What does he make? He makes probably like 85 a year. What do you make? Probably 32 a year. How old is he? 40. Okay. All right, so you're the same age. That's good news. And you're only making 32 a year, Haley? Is that what you said? Yeah. Have you combined your finances with him?

1:09:37Are you guys... I haven't combined anything. He has a place. But you're living on$32 ,000 a year in Portland with a kid? Yes. Okay, that's great.

1:09:50Dave Ramsey:It's amazing. Yeah. Well done. Yeah, that's a big strain. Well, it's outskirts of there. Okay. That's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much inheritance did you receive? Which time? Okay, how much inheritance do you have, and who did it come from? I my mother my estranged mother passed away last year and I was left a quarter there's four of us I left a quarter of her federal retirement to the tune about two hundred and fourteen thousand dollars and I have to empty that account apparently in like 10 years so I'm gonna have to start taking RMDs and I'm like well that'd be a great you know to rent this house out and you know progress with him and go in on a house together and start putting some RMDs towards that.

1:10:42But again, like I...

1:10:44Dave Ramsey:And that's the total inheritance? No, I have other accounts and trusts beyond that. How much?

1:10:58Probably another$120 ,000. Okay.

1:11:02Dave Ramsey:All right. Cool. Well, you've got a really nice nest egg. He has a better income. This sounds like a good situation overall. But again, you just need to be aligned. And I don't know. Sometimes I have, because I'm a Southern person, we have a tendency to be too nice to the point that we're not clear. Except for you, Dave. And I learned, I stopped doing that about 20 years ago. And now I'm extremely clear because I found out that that's actually nice. To be unclear is to be unkind. Okay. And so be clear. And because it's not fair to him for him to have, you know, we're out here looking at houses and then, what happened to Haley?

1:11:44Dave Ramsey:She just jumped off the rails. I thought this, I thought we had all this figured out. No, I think you need to be very clear. and he can, I'm not going to go look at houses anymore until it's part of a system that includes a date that we are married before we buy a house. And so there's no reason for me to go look at houses in that situation. We can do other thing with our time. Yeah. And when you got the two 14, you know, that, that was a year ago. If you have 10 years, you have nine more years. And, you know, and realistically, if you guys get married in the next year or two, you know what I mean?

1:12:14Like the, the time crunch. You can pull it all. Yes. Yes.

1:12:17Dave Ramsey:You pull it all at once and just pay taxes on it and put it as a down payment. And I would. And I think this sounds like this, probably what you were planning to do. But again, you guys, I think he's pushing on the gas and you weren't pushing on the brakes as hard. So bring it to a stop at the red light. Beep, beep. Yeah, and that's wise, Haley. Like your gut and what you're leaning towards is right. So trust that. That's the right thing. It's a very, very smart way to do this. and you've got 300 ,000 reasons to do this. A baby has a reason to do this. An established 39-year-old woman who's making it on her own.

1:12:58Dave Ramsey:You're not some kind of desperate somebody or something here. You're in great shape. And you've got to get a head on your shoulders. The way you even posed the question was there's wisdom and we could feel your spirit is solid, all of that. So trust your gut. You've got a good one. You know, and just you can be kind and very, very, very clear. And that's all I would do. I've not faced that situation, but that's what I think of. Yeah, and my prayer is that you guys have established a relationship and that he's a great guy, that he respect that and say, absolutely. OK, well, let's wait. Let's make some plans.

1:13:35And you know what I mean? If it scares him off, then you probably wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him anyways.

1:13:39Dave Ramsey:If it runs him off, he was there for the money. if he books based on this, he wasn't there for the right reason. So it's a great acid test in that regard. So he was just trying to sign up for a down payment with some girl he met. You know, whoa, that's real scary, isn't it? I doubt it is, though. I don't think that's the case. And the reason, you know why I don't think so? Because I don't think she would have put up with him this long. I think she would have run him off for now. She would have smelled that. We trust you, Haley. Yeah. Well, I mean, the girl I'm talking to is smart. I mean, that's, you know, she's got some brains.

1:14:18Dave Ramsey:It's a good thing.

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1:16:24Dave Ramsey:Marty Marta is with us in Indianapolis. Hi Marta, how are you? Hi, I'm good. Thank you. Good. What's up? So my big question, like the main question is going to be, should I get a loan or should me and my husband, I guess, get a loan to get all of our debt together and pay it off that way? Or should we refinance our house first? Probably neither. How much debt do you have? Without the house, it's about$14 ,172.01. No, you should not get any kind of loan, and you for sure don't need debt consolidation. What kind of debt is the$14 ,000?

1:17:09About$1 ,600 of it is going to be credit card debt.

1:17:16What I owe on my car is about$4 ,600, and then the rest is going to be medical.

1:17:24Dave Ramsey:Okay. And you have health insurance, I assume, so this has been deductibles and co-pays? Yes. Okay. Who's been sick? I wasn't really sick. I had a baby. Okay. So that's what it means. And you ended up with$5 ,000 worth of bills having a baby out of pocket? um so it's yeah pretty pretty much um about 600 of it was for um genetic genetic testing while i was still pregnant because i'm adopted so we wanted a little bit more information of what could possibly happen so what is your household income Right now with me out of work monthly, it's about$3 ,060. What did you say about work? I'm sorry, I misunderstood.

1:18:18Right now, I'm only doing like very minimal part-time. Oh, with you being out of work with the baby.

1:18:25Dave Ramsey:I see. How old is the baby? Yeah, sorry. That's okay. I didn't understand you. How old is the baby? You're fine. She's two months. Oh, wonderful. That's so cool. And your husband makes$3 ,000 a month? So I've been working a little bit, but about$3 ,000 was both of ours. Okay. And what does he do? He works at a drug manufacturing company at a town close to us. And how old is he? He's 24. 24. Okay. All right. So the bad news is you have$14 ,000 in debt. The good news is you only have$14 ,000 in debt. And so Rachel and I are going to put you on an every dollar budget. We're going to give it to you.

1:19:14Dave Ramsey:And then both of you are going to pick up side gigs. He's going to pick up a lot. You're going to pick up a little. You're going to look around the house and sell so much stuff the baby thinks he's next. You're going to stay out of restaurants unless one of you is working there. You're not going on vacation. and you're going to roll up your sleeves and put$1 ,000 a month on this by making an extra$1 ,000 a month,$2 ,000 a month between the two of you, and you're going to be 100 % debt-free in about a year. Okay. But you're going to have to add some income to this because your income is already dangerously low.

1:19:53Dave Ramsey:Would you agree? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. When you go back to work, Marta, full-time, what will you be making? What I was making before I left, I was making about$4 ,600 a month. Oh, good. Okay. So you make more than him? It's pretty close. He makes a little bit more than me. A little bit more, but he's bringing home$3 ,000 and you bring home$4 ,000 when you're both working full-time, I thought you said.

1:20:30Right? Okay. Oh, I'm so sorry. I was looking at the completely wrong numbers. Oh, you're fine. I'm so sorry. He makes a loan$2 ,400 a month. $2 ,400 a month he makes. Yes. Okay, but you make$4 ,000 a month.

1:20:53Is that right? No, that would be together after I'm back.

1:20:56Dave Ramsey:Okay. So both of you have got to work on your long-term careers. Both of your jobs suck, income-wise, okay? Your long-term career. In the short term, you've got to work on some part-time extra work to add income to the household. But that's not that unusual when you're 23 with a baby, okay? It's not unusual. There's no shame in that. So short-term, we get our income up, and we knock out this debt with some part-time jobs. Long-term, we start really focusing on What do we want to be doing when we're 30 that pays 10 times more than we're getting paid now? What classes do we need to take? What certifications do we need to get?

1:21:36Dave Ramsey:What new jobs do we need to get? Because you don't want to be 38 and making this kind of money. That's the wrong end of the bell curve. You don't want to be over there. Yeah, and Marta, the medical bill side, that is one industry. If you call the hospital and you guys get some money, you know, piled in together, that there's a chance they will settle, they'll come down. And there's a lot of stories that we've heard throughout the years, I know, of people calling, and that is one place that you could actually see your bill lower. So make that part of your part-time job, too, is tracking down the insurance company and the hospital and the bills and all of that.

1:22:13Dave Ramsey:Sophia is in Idaho. Hi, Sophia. How are you? Oh, my gosh. Hi. I'm doing good. Yourself? Better than I deserve. How can we help? Hi. So I'm a stay-at-home mom. My husband and I are almost, we will almost complete baby step number three. Good. I have an opportunity to clean a friend's business office for$300 a month, cleaning it twice a month. And I want to know how I can do that legally, meaning like with taxes and everything like that. Okay. Well, the easiest thing to do is just keep it as a sole proprietorship, which is what I would do. Open a separate bank account. It's not legally. It's just keeping up with it.

1:22:56Dave Ramsey:Okay. Open a separate bank account and just put a business name on it. It's Sophia so-and-so, DBA, doing business as Sophia's office cleaning or whatever you name it. Okay. And use your social security number, but also put your husband on the account. But you've got a separate account just for the business. Okay. And you don't have to have a tax ID number. You don't have to have anything. You can do it in a sole proprietorship. A DBA account, doing business as. Then you put all the income from your side hustle into that. And any expenses, like if you bought cleaning supplies or something like that, any expenses you have around the business come out of that account.

1:23:34Dave Ramsey:Nothing else goes into that account except business. Nothing comes out of that account except business. And then when you take money out of that account to bring it home and use it, you set aside one-fourth of it for taxes, and you're supposed to file quarterly estimates for your taxes on your business. And that's based on your profits. And so if you made$3 ,000 in a quarter, you probably would have set aside$750 for taxes, and that's going to be pretty close. And when you calculate out your quarterly estimates, they're not hard to calculate. It's based on your profit. If you need some help with all that, you can just get with one of our Ramsey trusted tax professionals and they can help you do it.

1:24:20Dave Ramsey:But the big thing, Rachel, is just to keep your business stuff separate. Yes. Well, and the quarterly estimates. That's the one that we could call small businesses. That's some of the worst financial calls I feel like we get with small business. Now she won't be doing like tons and tons and tons of revenue, you know, as of right now, she could start to grow it. But if you run a 1099 or you run a side hustle and you're not paying your taxes through the year, you're going to get hit in the back of the head come April. You're going to get the devil smacked out of it. You're not going to like it. You're right.

1:24:48Dave Ramsey:It's one of the biggest problems we see. How'd you get a$20 ,000 IRS lien? Oh, well, I didn't pay my taxes. Oh, what was that for two years or one year or whatever it was on that side hustle? And so all income in America is taxable. So sorry, even if it's cash, no matter what it is, if it's income, it is taxable. And if you're telling the truth and you have integrity, you file a tax return, you put down your income minus your expenses, the difference is called profit and that profit is taxable in America. Welcome to the United States. And if you start making a lot of money, you'll get the opportunity to pay a lot of taxes and you'll get the opportunity to listen to some communists say you're not paying your fair share, which is absolutely ridiculous.

1:25:31Dave Ramsey:So when considering that 47 % of 48 % of Americans last year paid zero federal income tax, how's that fair?

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1:27:13Dave Ramsey:Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Rachel Cruz. Ramsey personality, my daughter, is my co-host today. Connor is in Boston, Mass. Hey, Connor, what's up? Hey, Dave. Hey, Rachel, how's it going? Good. How are you doing, man? I'm doing well. My question today is about investing. So I'm 25 years old. I'm living at home. I make around$56 ,000 a year in cash flow in college. So recently I started investing in a brokerage account, and I was wondering, is it wrong to primarily invest into a brokerage account?

1:27:57Dave Ramsey:Just in general? For what purpose? I don't understand.

1:28:03Dave Ramsey:Why would you only do that? Yeah, so recently I was thinking more about it. I should put money into the retirement accounts, of course, but I was kind of wondering, is it wrong to put more money into the brokerage account versus retirement accounts for the purpose of saving for a down payment on a house or being able to use that money before they age 59? Yeah. Well, the first thing we would tell you to do is be debt-free, are you? I am. Good. And then we would tell you to have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses, do you? I do. Great. You're way ahead of the game. You're 25, and you're in college.

1:28:46Dave Ramsey:What are you studying, sir? Business administration. Cool. And when will you graduate? This fall, but I'm thinking about going for a master's degree. Why? I haven't been able to find an opportunity in the field that I'd like to pursue. What field is that? Merchandising. You don't need a master's degree. Okay. No. That's not what's keeping you, holding you back. Are you working full-time now? I am. What do you make now? $56 ,000. Oh, you told me that. I'm sorry. You told me that. No problem. All right. So 25 years old, you're making$56K. What are you doing now, Connor, for a job? I'm a deli manager at a grocery market.

1:29:36Dave Ramsey:Great. Okay. Well, I would start pursuing your merchandising career now while you finish up your— are you finishing a four-year degree or a two-year? Four-year. Okay. Good for you. Okay. Excellent. Yeah, you've got some pretty good basic business tools in your belt academically. All you would need for merchandising, for sure. and what you need to do though is get in with a good company that lets you mentor and be apprenticed by some fabulous people that have been in the business a while and you can kind of walk alongside them and learn from them, be discipled or mentored, so to speak. That's what I'd be looking for and I'd be looking for that hardcore and just working it like crazy.

1:30:18Dave Ramsey:I'm going to send you a copy of Ken Coleman's book, The Proximity Principle, which will outline a good way to land that kind of position, which is where that's what I would focus on. Now, having said all that, back to your question. You're debt free. You have an emergency fund. Way to go. When you've settled in on your permanent career, maybe by this time next year, we would say that you are at Baby Step 3B and people do two things at Baby Step 3B. That 3B is before they start putting 15 % away for retirement, they sometimes take a gap period of time and pile up money for a down payment. And you could use a brokerage account to do that.

1:31:03Dave Ramsey:Okay? Okay. Sometimes they put zero in retirement. Sometimes they put a little in retirement. Sometimes they put the whole 15 % or baby step four in retirement while they're working on their down payment. If you've got the margin to do both, save a good strong down payment and start putting your 15 % away at your new big-time job that you've landed by next spring, and you're loading up that Roth 401k, I would love that for you. But if you want to take a couple of years and do no retirement and just stack cash for your down payment, that's fine. And then, you know, you do need to get the Roth long-term working in your benefit.

1:31:41Dave Ramsey:Because from age, let's say from age 25 to age 65, the amount of money that is in the account that is growth is about 90 % of the money. So let's say you had$2 million in there. Then somewhere around$1.8 million of the$2 million is growth. That means it's all taxable. You're going to pay taxes on$1.8 million if you've got it in a brokerage account. If you've got it in a Roth 401k, zero taxes on that 1.8. And taxes on 1.8 sounds an awful lot like$600 ,000 or$700 ,000. So long term, you don't want to only have a brokerage account. Long term, you also want to have the tax savings of a Roth 401k Roth IRA.

1:32:34And the question you're asking is fair to say, hey, do I want money tied up until I'm 59 and a half?

1:32:40Dave Ramsey:Yes, some of it. And so that's it. So I would front load your retirement, take care of the Roth IRA, take care of the 401k. And then anything beyond that that you want to be able to save in a brokerage account, you know, get some index funds, whatever that is for you. That's great. Then you can take it. But I would do that second to all the retirement. Go ahead and get all that funded. And third behind buying a house. That's right. That's right. Exactly. So, yeah, sometimes, Connor, we get the question like a 40-year-old is worried about, okay, I might want to retire in 10 years at 50, and I can't get to anything until I'm 59 and a half.

1:33:14Dave Ramsey:And in that case, you do what Rachel's talking about, and that's your third step, what we call bridge investing. And you'd have a brokerage account, a S &P 500 account, whatever you want to put it in. And you build some wealth there that you can use for those in-between years until you get to the Roth tax-free. But don't avoid the tax-free growth. That's a million-dollar mistake minimum for someone your age. That would be a huge mistake. So long-term, it has to be part of your decision-making, but it doesn't have to be the whole thing. And today, if I'm you, I'm landing that big job, and I'm going to stack cash for at least 18 months, maybe two years, and give me a nice house.

1:33:57Dave Ramsey:And then you can start loading 15 % in and get the house paid off. Work the baby steps. And I think you're going to be in great shape if you just do those things. Shelly is in Detroit. Hi, Shelly. How are you? Good. How are you? Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? So I will be 43 next year. I have had a salon for the last like eight years and I'm actually looking to close it and possibly then just kind of stay home with my kids. Great. Are you able to do that financially? Well, that's what I'm like hoping to see. We have two homes. We just have the mortgage on our first home. So, again, I know this is like first world problems.

1:34:41My husband has always said, hey, like stay home. Like I'll handle it. and I think having my shop has helped just to keep things going and keep things afloat. But I think I could.

1:34:55Dave Ramsey:What does he make? I think I could. I would say between the two of us, we're about$150. No, ask what he makes. You're quitting. What he makes? About like$100. Can you live on that? Yeah, I have like all the money coming, like that has come in. You don't know. You're dodging all over the place. you need to sit down in detail and do a detailed budget on every dollar and you and him need to sit down and look at if if my income's not here what does our house look like and if you like the way it looks and you want to quit quit maybe you sell one of the houses in order to make it work yeah might have to sell that other house pay off your mortgage

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1:36:45Dave Ramsey:Man, real estate is crazy. Buying or selling a home is a big decision. Median home prices went up to$425 ,000 nationally last month, which is typical in the spring market. We generally see little moves. If you want to keep up the housing trends and see what weekly mortgage rates are doing and give free tools to help you buy or sell with confidence, go to RamseySolutions.com slash market or click the link in the show notes. Alex is with us. Hi, Alex. How are you? Hi, Dave. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I'm just calling because I was following your plan, and I was doing so well, and a few things came up.

1:37:34and I unfortunately fell back into the credit card habit. And I guess I'm trying to reframe my mindset to get out of the habit of using the credit card. And I've kind of been struggling with that a little bit. I really want to get out of debt, but I'm struggling.

1:37:57Dave Ramsey:How much credit card have you got, Alex? um with everything in total um 23 000 it's all credit cards um yeah just one specific one how much do you owe your car um i don't have a car that well i do owe a car but it's to a family member how much do you owe on your car seven thousand dollars okay is that part of the 23 Yes, correct. Okay. Oh, it is. Okay. All right. Yeah. And so we're talking about$16 ,000 in credit card debt and$7 ,000 on the car. Yes, to be exact, yes. And what do you make, sir? Between$3 ,000 to$4 ,000 per month. Okay. How old are you? I am$30 ,000. I'm sorry. 30 years old. That's okay.

1:38:47Dave Ramsey:What do you do for a living? um i do factory work and on the side i do a little bit of food delivery okay so you said you were going along fine and some things came up and threw you off the wagon what came up yeah so my car broke down and which is why i ended up borrowing money from a family member to get another vehicle otherwise i would be carless what else what was the credit card debt the 16 000 you said you keep going back in What causes that? What was that? Yeah, I was struggling to make ends meet and, yeah, paying bills and stuff like that. So we've outlined your bills. What bills you got trouble paying?

1:39:34Dave Ramsey:Groceries, gas. Well, you make enough to pay those. What's your rent? um i live with family so i i just help with the bills um what does that mean yeah so i help with electricity water yeah what's your bill how much of that goes to bills of that three to four thousand i would say about 250 a month okay she got 250 a month for that, I don't know, put in$300 for gasoline or$250 more. That's$500. You buy a little bit of food. That's a long way from$3 ,000 or$4 ,000. Why are you having trouble making your bills? You're partying a lot. No, I'm actually not. Where are you spending your money? For food, I spend about$600 every two weeks.

1:40:28Dave Ramsey:Why? On one guy? Because that's what I contribute in the household. That's basically what I help out since I don't have to pay rent. Oh, I thought you said you had$250 you had to help out with. Now you're saying it's$850. No, now you're saying it's$2 ,000. $600 is$1 ,200 plus$250. $1 ,500 is your rent to live with family. That's no deal.

1:40:57Dave Ramsey:mm-hmm yeah 600 times 2 is 1200 plus 250 is 1450

1:41:08Dave Ramsey:that's your rent mm-hmm the equivalent of because you're buying food at home and you're buying food out also aren't you yes i am okay so here's what's happening i think i might be wrong i'm just listening to you trying to diagnose over the phone here, okay? But I think you're disorganized and you do not have a detailed every dollar plan because you have margin in the budget you gave us. There is room in these numbers. Yeah. And the problem too is, Alex, that the credit card keeps catching your slack. So you're a little bit of the sloppiness and the not, you know, not having like really strict boundaries with your money.

1:41:49The credit card is what sneaks in there and you end up racking up 16 ,000. So here's the deal. If the credit card wasn't around, you wouldn't have that option. So I think, Alex, I think you cut up your credit card right now.

1:42:01Dave Ramsey:Where is it? Yeah, so I actually did cut it up. And the mistake I did make, you know how most phones have like you can add your credit card? Apple Pay. Take it off. Okay, take it off Apple Pay. It's not as exciting as cutting up a physical card. As soon as you hang up, you reach over to Apple Pay and delete it. Yes. Yeah. But that's the, I mean, that's. That's the step that starts to. No, I was going to say that. You have to put boundaries up for yourself. Yes. That's the stuff that starts to change your behavior because it's not an option anymore. And go on Amazon and unplug your card. Yeah. Yeah.

1:42:41Dave Ramsey:If you want an Amazon account, it has to be on a debit card. Okay. Get your credit card number off there. As soon as you hang up, do away with Apple Pay. Completely delete it. You do not need it. As soon as you hang up, take your debit card and replace it on your Amazon account or close your Amazon account altogether. Okay. Yeah, I definitely plan on doing that. And anything else that you use regularly that has your credit card number on it, put your debit card number on it and take your credit card off. If you're paying utilities or anything else, take it off. Get rid of it. Get rid of any sign that you ever owned a credit card If I came and investigated you I don't want to be able to find anything For your sake You got to get rid of it Because it keeps sneaking back And you know And I had one guy memorize the number I don't know how to erase that But anyway You know It's like You know You got You still got to You got to put up some boundaries But the biggest thing is You don't need it If you would get organized and stick to the organization.

1:43:44Dave Ramsey:You make enough to pay the bills that you have easily and begin to get out of debt. And if you add up what you're paying to live there, you ain't got a deal. So you need to look at that too and start thinking about a single guy for$1 ,450. Because the food thing, I mean, you're not eating all of that. You're not eating$1 ,200 worth. No. If you do, you've got another problem. Yep. So re-looking at some of that, Alex, I think is going to help. And if you start putting some things in place. It might be that getting out on your own with a roommate might help with a bunch of this. The family dynamic.

1:44:24Dave Ramsey:Because you have a more reality of what it is you actually need to spend for you to exist. And I don't think it's as much as you're paying to live there. So it doesn't sound like it to me. But you can look at all that. It'd probably be good for you anyway. and so let's consider that idea and then you know chop up the card you've already done that let's cut it off of all the anywhere digitally that it's stored get rid of it welcome to 2026 you used to be like get your scissors out and cut up the card now they're like no it's now we have to take a sledgehammer to your iphone you know get your iphone out lay it down hit it with a hammer and probably help you in a lot of ways probably a lot of things get better in your life when you did that.

1:45:06Dave Ramsey:Oh my gosh. Yeah, Alex, that's the thing. So, and the other thing I used to do when I was starting all this stuff, Alex, a thousand years ago was I would pretend I would say, okay, what if I had to pay off$2 ,000 next month or something terrible was going to happen to a family member? And it isn't, but I would just pretend that like if I had to save a child's life, could I do it? Well, yeah, I could get organized. I could get intense if I had to save a child's life. if I had to save, do something, something that emotional, right, visceral. And you go, okay, if I had to do that, then I could do it.

1:45:43Dave Ramsey:That means I can do it. Now I just have to do it. Instead of like, well, I think I'm going to be Dave Ramsey. That doesn't work. Dave Ramsey isn't watching over you. You got to go do it. And that's the beauty of this. You fix the person in your mirror while you transform your finances.

1:46:30Dave Ramsey:Hey, guys. Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now, you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to RamseySolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's RamseySolutions.com.

1:47:36Dave Ramsey:Today's Ramsey Show question of the day is brought to you by Why Refi. Defaulted private student loans can derail your money plans, but Why Refi helps borrowers explore refinancing options designed to get them on track again. Learn more at whyrefi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y, R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey. Might not be in all states. Today's question comes from Courtney in Minnesota. I own my home free and clear and have no other debt. My ex-husband moved an hour away and it would be easier for me and the kids if I move closer to him since we share custody. Can I purchase a home with cash before my current home sells?

1:48:17I have a realtor and know that what we can list my house for and what I can afford once it's sold. We've talked about contingency offers as well as taking out a mortgage, paying it off once my current house is sold. What is the best way to buy a house in cash considering my situation? I mean, the contingency is probably the easiest element there. So, I mean, it would be that. And, I mean, honestly, right now it is a – it's more of a buyer's market. You're not, you know, stuck in 2022 when it was just insane and no one took even contingency offers. So now I would say you have a best case scenario with where the market is for you to be able to pull something like this off.

1:49:00Dave Ramsey:So mechanically, the way that would work is you could do two things. The straight contingency, you go find the neighborhood that you think you want to move into. There's six houses on the market. You look at them, you pick out your favorite one and you make an offer subject to the sale and simultaneous closing of your home. Most markets, the way that's done, and it is a little bit regional, but most people in most areas of the country, the way that's done is they'll put a 72-hour clause in there that says they keep the house on the market, they accept your contract, you have terms. If yours sells, you simply close on it.

1:49:41Dave Ramsey:Very easy. If yours hasn't sold it, the other house that you're trying to buy is still on the market. If they get another offer that they want to accept, you have 72 hours to decide if you want to close or not. And you wouldn't. You would walk away if your house hasn't sold. Because the only other thing you can do is go in debt to do that, and I'm not going to tell you to do that in this situation. um so the other thing you can do uh that's if you can't get someone on the house you like to do a contingency with a 72 hour out which is a fairly standard thing in the business okay but if you can't get someone to do that what we did Sharon and I did this is we figured out the neighborhood we wanted to be in and we looked at about six or eight houses out there while our house was on the market and then when our house sold we went and bought one it was that simple and we were ready and actually one of the houses we had looked at we weren't able to get it sold it got away from us while our house was on the market but our house sold we went and bought one of them and we were okay with that because we're not really like freaking out about a house or something we can house there's houses on every corner you can get another one so it's not like we're getting married we're just buying a house so um you can you move again if you need to so uh the third option is sell your house and go rent and then look for a house with the cash in your hand and just buy one so any one of those three will work and any one of those three will work without you borrowing money so no in no case would i tell you to go get a mortgage to make your ex-husband happy.

1:51:25Dave Ramsey:No case. Yeah. I mean, not to make him happy. Well, it would be nice if we could be closer to him. He should amend. No. No. No. No. No. He's the one moved away. Hello. All right. Abby's in Portland, Oregon. Hey, Abby, what's up? Hey, thanks for taking my call. Sure. I recently was appointed a power of attorney for an elderly family member who's not a parent. As I've gotten into her finances, I realized that she's got no money. Her IRA has been completely drained. She's got two savings accounts that have just basically pennies in them. Where did it go? She had someone that she had hired to assist her.

1:52:07And in the last six months prior to me becoming POA, several hundred thousand dollars went up missing. Are you pressing charges? That's a different conversation. Yes, We're on it.

1:52:21Dave Ramsey:Good, because I'm angry with you and for her. Okay. Yes, it just makes me shake. But I'm not going to see a penny of that. No, it's probably gone. I don't disagree. Now, she owns, free and clear, no mortgage, a condo and a house. She also has a piece of commercial property that I can ultimately liquidate to fund her care needs. She's in an extended care facility now. But there's going to be some time right before I can get my hands on any of those dollars. How much time do you need? I mean, how long will it take? Well, I don't know. What's the condo worth? It's currently, like, if I were to look it up on Zillow, it's like$300.

1:53:07Dave Ramsey:Is it the cheaper of the three? It is the cheapest of the three, yeah. Yeah, sacrifice it. Okay. And get some cash in the bank to take care of her. Right, but still, even if, you know, I'm just thinking, like, if I got an offer tomorrow, which I won't because I can't list it tomorrow, I could probably list it next week because I've got to get it cleaned out. But that would still be 30-60 days. Not if you're sacrificing it. You can list it and sell it by the morning and close it by Friday to an investor and sell it for two and a quarter. Dump it. Okay. She has zero cash and she needs money this moment, correct?

1:53:49Yes.

1:53:50Dave Ramsey:That's what I was understanding. Okay. Yes. And then the other two properties you got patients on because you did this. Yes. Okay. Otherwise, you're going to have a person in a nursing home who's out of her right mind and you are the POA and now you've gone and gotten a loan? Oh, gross. Yeah. That's icky. That's so icky. I'd rather give up$75 ,000 of her equity and sell that other condo for two and a quarter, as is, and you shovel it out, Mr. Investor. Okay. Let some guy that took a TikTok course come give you some money. Okay. Okay. Does that make sense? I mean. It absolutely does. And it's very clean and very, very quick.

1:54:36Dave Ramsey:How often does that happen? I used to be that guy 30 years ago. I used to buy real estate like that. and one of the things we, you know, we're not going to give you a lot, but we'll close it Friday. Okay. Would you do one of those billboards that you see, we buy your home for cash? Yeah, shop around. You know, the first thing I would do is just go to Ramsey Solutions and hit the Ramsey Trusted and call the real estate agent or two that were in the area where that condo is that are Ramsey Trusted and tell them, what have I got to do to move this? Do you have a couple of investors in your pocket that buy stuff at a deal?

1:55:09Dave Ramsey:because I've got to move this thing and close it Friday and see how any of them respond. That's probably the easiest way to do it. And they'll take care. Tell them what's going on, and they'll help take care of you. And, you know, you take the least beating on it as possible. But I'm thinking$200 ,000 is great. I'm thinking$50 ,000,$75 ,000 off of$300 ,000 is probably going to get you anybody you want. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And there's nothing else you can move. that'll buy you a month? I mean, is there a car you could dump that would buy you a month? She has a 2012 Volkswagen Jetta. That might get me a thousand bucks.

1:55:49Dave Ramsey:No, it'll get you five, but it's not going to get you a month. What is the bill? What's the bill and who's it owed to? Well, she has her bill for her assisted living, which I covered her first month in deposit. that that was$7 ,500. But then she has a couple of credit cards. She has some medical bills from hospitalizations and ambulance drives. I don't have to pay any of those for 60 days. They can sit. Okay. The only thing I got to do is take care of her. Right. If the JETA, what's the monthly bill on the assisted living? It'll be around five. If the JETA will cover your month, dump it to Carvana or somebody, and that might buy you a little bit more time, and you don't have to sacrifice the condo quite so deep to get it moved the next month and then systematically work through the other two properties.

1:56:45Dave Ramsey:Maybe we don't have to be quite so desperate, but just kind of work through your cash flow analysis that way. You're doing a great job, and thank you for taking care of her.

1:57:03Thank you.

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1:58:04Dave Ramsey:Our scripture of the day, John 14, 6. Jesus answered, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John Maxwell said, a leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. Classic John. Nice alliteration there, John. Well done. Scott is in Washington, D.C. Hey, Scott, how are you? I'm great, Dave. Thank you both for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? I was married for 15 years. We'd been divorced for 20 years. We had two daughters. They're in the mid to late 20s now, both very good people, never in trouble, not weed heads. They're professional careers.

1:58:57We just never had a relationship, sadly.

1:59:03I've always said it is what you can't make things happen sometimes. But I get an occasional random text, hey, how are you? but nothing structured like at Christmas or Easter or Thanksgiving or Father's Day or birthday, never a card, never a call. Just, you know, the drop of a hat, you might get something random. My mom even will send, you know, 50 bucks on a birthday, and there's no gratitude. I mean, when I was that age, I was writing thank you notes because you couldn't afford long-distance calls. And, you know, it's just of a second nature. and I'm doing my final documents now. I'm getting ready to rewrite the will.

1:59:45I'm like, they're not in it currently, and I'm starting to rethink it. Is there distance caused by something out of my control? Maybe they had somebody in their ear. I don't know. I don't want to ask those questions. It just seems intrusive and a lot of water over the dam. And as I'm about to rewrite everything, how do you include what you know, the behavior into your will and your estate plan? You know, you've always said a wise man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. And, you know, I made a loss with where to go from here.

2:00:30Dave Ramsey:Well, the sad thing is, is when there's that much pain, there's not a clear answer. You're not morally obligated to give anyone money, legally obligated or spiritually obligated to give anyone money. And when you leave a wise man or a good man, a godly man leaves an inheritance to his children's children is a proverb. But that inheritance is – sometimes pastors will teach that as a spiritual inheritance, not a money inheritance. And I think it's both personally. But if you're prohibited from doing that because you don't have a relationship with the grandchildren's parents, then you can't do that.

2:01:11Dave Ramsey:So you're prohibited in terms of having an influence with them, okay? And so you're under no obligations and there's a lot of pain and it's very difficult to weed through all of that and find something. Um, the only thing I would throw in is just, um, I have never, I mean, when you write this down, it's as if it's done. Okay. Until you change it again. Okay. If you die before you change it, it's going to be done. And so in a sense, when I write it down, something on my will or in my estate plan, I consider it done until I change it. So I have to be willing to, quote, die with it, not live with it, right?

2:02:08Dave Ramsey:So in that sense, one of my things, and I do this with team members that are leaving. I do it with anything. It's a situation like this. I have never regretted generosity. And generosity is a form of grace, and that is undeserved. That's what grace is. It's undeserved. Your daughters don't deserve this money based on the fact that they have not reached out, have not created a relationship as adults. They're old enough to have gotten away from people in their ear, to have healed from whatever happened 30 years ago or whatever else and established some kind of relationship. They're not in a deserving role.

2:02:57Dave Ramsey:But deserved hasn't got anything to do with generosity or grace. So, you know, if you did something in the name of generosity or grace in your will, you would be doing it for you.

2:03:14That makes sense.

2:03:16Dave Ramsey:Not for them. And that's a good thing. And if you did something for the grandbabies, you'd be doing it for you because you don't even know them. Oh, they haven't hit the ground yet. Oh, we don't even have any yet. Okay. Well, if there's grandkids, I'm sorry, if there's grandkids, then that's the children's children, right? Right. Or if you left something in trust for future grandkids, that would be, you know, you could do that. And, you know, it's more about you addressing all of the stuff that's in your stomach and in your heart while you're dealing with all this and has very little to do with what's in your head.

2:03:53Yeah, it's definitely a humility play, Scott, not an ego play, right, of this, I've raised great kids. and I get to leave on this. You know what I mean? Like that feels good, right? This is hard. This is the other end of the spectrum. So it would, yeah, it would be out of a level of just humility and that you love them because of just for the sake that they are your children and not on any level of condition of a relationship, which is sad, really, really sad. But that's the posture that it would come from. It's just that's their dad.

2:04:25Dave Ramsey:You mind me asking how old you are? 63 later this year are you ill no I've taught your FPU four times okay thank you I appreciate that so we're the same age I mean I'm 65 Scott can I be nosy and ask how much will you be leaving just in general if it's not to them right now the net worth about two and a half and you know I'm not a spender by any means. Where would you leave it if it wasn't to your daughters? I'm just curious. Right now it's a couple different charities. Okay. Orphanage, battered women's shelter, and a church. Yeah. I would do some of both because of you, not because of them. Makes good sense.

2:05:19Dave Ramsey:And you can decide the proportions and whatever. And if you want to go really deep into it, you could leave some into a trust for future grandchildren as well. Now you've got to figure out who the trustee is in this mess. Bless their heart. But that's, you know, that's the three things you could do. Nothing, something, and or something for the grandkids. and I would be, it would be hard for Dave, even though I try to live my life on the other thing I just taught you, it'd be hard for Dave to leave a bunch of money to somebody who hadn't spoken to me. Like, almost impossible. I couldn't do it. I'd leave something, probably, but I leave a tip when the service is bad because it says something about me, not about the service.

2:06:13Dave Ramsey:And that's going to be their freaking Dave Ramsey story. So there you go. That thing too. But that's not going to do with this discussion. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a hard, sad thing. Well, it is. And the hope, Scott, obviously, is that between now and then that there's some level of reconciliation. And you know what I mean? And things can change. Relationships can change. And that's the ultimate prayer, regardless of the money. but for the financial side. Yeah, it just would take a deep level of humility because you're getting nothing from it, right? To leave you something because you gave me something, there's like a condition there.

2:06:48Dave Ramsey:Yeah, but it's not really conditional. It's just... Well, it makes sense, I know, but it's not like the girls, because he said his daughters are not irresponsible or crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's hard. That's tough. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're facing that. But yeah, man. Yeah, sometimes generosity and forgiveness and grace have more to do with what it does for me than it does the person that is directed towards. There almost could be a level of healing in it. I don't know if that's true or not, but I don't know. There's kind of this like extra extension. Or what you're leaving it to is beautiful too, Scott.

2:07:26The legacy that can pass on if you choose not to. What you've just lined out.

2:07:30Dave Ramsey:Yep. Incredible, incredible work in your city. That puts us our other Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.