It's Never Too Late To Start Over

23:13Rachel Cruze:And, you know, I respect his way of living, but I really don't know how to respect it. I think you need to stop respecting his way of living. I don't. He's putting your entire family in jeopardy and in danger. Very stressful. Nothing about this demands respect. This isn't like, oh, he likes a shirt and he's going to go buy it. This is bad. You're not able to pay for your actual needs in life of what you're needing to do. What do I do? How long have you been married? Five years. Okay. It sounds like you're at the end of your rope. You're like, I've talked to him, I've tried everything, and nothing's worked.

23:50Is he combative? Is he defensive? What is he like when you approach him going, hey, we're$100 ,000 in debt and we can't pay for our bills? Are you not scared? Do you not feel a sense of urgency about this? How does he respond? He's like, no, I'm going to get a deposit next week or in a month from now. We'll be fine.

24:10Rachel Cruze:Everything's going to be fine. And sometimes he's right, but not always. No. Well, and so what's going to have to change within him is that he may be fine, but his wife is scared to death and his wife is stressed out. And so in order to love your wife well, you actually have to surrender some of the things that you want in order to take care of her. Right. And that's where that's where this money stuff stops being money and it starts being marriage. It's marriage issues that your husband does not listen to you and doesn't respect you, Olivia, in order to change his behavior in order to. And again, you're not your behavior and what you're asking for is not crazy.

24:53Rachel Cruze:Like this is pretty basic math here that he's just completely going against. What can I. Is there anything I can do without changing him to like, I don't know, protect myself, maybe just so that I don't stress about it all the time. um for the short term you can but for that's not a long long-term solution because if anything it just continues to divide your marriage that the goal would be that you guys as a married couple heal and and find a path forward and then the money habits and all of that follow i don't want you to just avoid the issue by opening up your own accounts for the long term now for the short term we can talk through some of that if you really do feel like um you need enough money in your own account to pay the bills so you don't get that's right foreclosed on yep how much do you guys make a year um it fluctuates but the last few years it was in the high high 200 okay are you both working i work for him you work for him okay so how much yeah do you do you bring home do you bring home a paycheck?

26:02Rachel Cruze:I don't have a salary, no. I just work. So you work for him for this business? Yeah. And then all the money just flows into y 'all's checking account? Right. Okay. What kind of work do you do? He does construction, and I do his books, ironically. Mm-hmm. So you tell us, what is the path forward for him to see this thing for what it is? You guys make$285 ,000 and you have nothing to show for it. You're going backwards every single month. I don't know. I guess I need to have a conversation with him, but how do I go about that conversation? Usually the most productive way is more concentrating on you, Olivia, because the sad thing is you can't change him.

26:51Rachel Cruze:You can tell him and express to him exactly what you're feeling, what you're thinking. what your desires are. I mean, and at this point, Olivia, I mean, what your ultimatums are, right? Like you don't want to live like this for the rest of your life where you're scared you can't even pay your bills. And so, you know, an ultimatum that if he doesn't do X, Y, and Z, meaning like he doesn't, he doesn't spend over X amount without you both agreeing. He doesn't spend extra until X, Y, and Z is paid. You know, these kinds of things, that that is a that's a normal way to live and if he refuses to do that um then yeah then then I mean I would be taking a salary then from the company and paying myself and having my own account until you guys can get it on the same page right and so there's some um and it's not like um I'm gonna throw this in your face in a threatening way it's more of a I'm scared to death and I'm stressed I'm losing sleep at night I feel like I'm losing you as my husband I don't feel like I'm being heard at all.

27:55Rachel Cruze:I don't feel like we have equal value in this marriage. You know, this is how I'm feeling. And so in order for, yes. And in order for, for us to move forward, if you don't do X, Y, and Z, then these are the steps that I'm going to need to make this work for the short term. Yes. For the short term. Absolutely. Do you guys have kids? No. We have one kid. Yeah. Okay. How old? How old the kid is? He's one. Okay. Did that change anything for you guys in the marriage? Yeah, it did because now when he spends on the kid, I can't say anything because it's for the kid. For the one-year-old. What does the one-year-old need?

28:34Yeah.

28:36Rachel Cruze:Other than formula and diapers. He needed$300 worth of toys. Okay, but you can say something, Olivia. This is your money, too. just because the just because the purchase was designated to another person it's your money this is your money that he's spending too it's it's y 'all's money I mean is what I'm trying to say like you have as much say in what is going on with this um and so yeah I mean at that point if you if you lay out your heart and again and I said I'm we're being a little bit probably like hardcore because I want you to fight for you. But you can do this with a lot of calmness and humility and all of it, but yet be stern in what you're needing because that's survival is what you're talking about.

29:26And this is a solvable problem because if you're high income, you guys could be debt free in 12 to 18 months. So this is not a lifetime of sacrifice, if that's what he's thinking. It's, hey, we got to reset here. We don't have any financial foundation. We are at risk all over. We got payments up to our eyeballs while making almost$300 ,000. We should be doing better than we are. And if he can't see that, again, to Rachel's point, you're not going to change him. And at that point, you need to decide what you're going to do. Right. But I would not just be putting up with this going, well, he's just a stubborn guy.

29:58He has a preference to make us broke forever. It's not like he prefers Thai and you like Mexican. This is far beyond that.

30:07Rachel Cruze:Or he sells, you know. I try to be, I don't want to be the kind of wife that's like, oh, you can't do this, you can't do that, you can't send them that. Olivia, you're not. You're not. You're not. It's not like you guys have all this cash sitting around and he wants to go buy a ninja slushie on Amazon and you're like, you can't buy that. That's stupid. Like, this is paying bills. This is keeping you guys afloat. That you're not in the negative in your checking account. so to to be at a 10 that is okay olivia that this it calls for a 10 that is not you nagging that's you having money yeah the fact you guys make 300 grand and you're still going into debt every month that's a problem and olivia that it you guys may want to go see a marriage therapist because the fact that that's even a thought within you um i needs to be probably worked out and i'm not saying that to shame you.

30:59Rachel Cruze:I'm just saying like what we're hearing, the language around your marriage and how he needs to be treated. It sounds like you're tiptoeing when he needs to, he needs to, he needs to get it, George. Man up.

31:27I've met plenty of people over the years who had a product that they wanted to sell, a side hustle that they wanted to start, or a business idea they couldn't stop thinking about. But they never took the first step because getting started felt complicated. Shopify makes it much easier. You can build a professional-looking online store in no time flat with everything you need already built in. Then when customers are ready to buy, Shopify checkout helps more of them actually complete the purchase. That's important because abandoned carts don't make you money. And when you need help, Sidekick, Shopify's built-in AI assistant, can help you troubleshoot, answer questions, and keep making progress.

32:11The point is you don't have to spend your time figuring out what comes next. You can spend your time getting it done. All you need is the idea. Shopify handles the rest. Start your free trial at shopify.com slash Ramsey. Shopify.com slash Ramsey. That's shopify.com slash Ramsey.

32:52Rachel Cruze:next up we have john in new york city hi john welcome to the show hi we're doing great how can we help um i'm kind of curious if i'm about to commit financial suicide. I've been following the baby steps for a while and I am looking at changing jobs. And I've been at this company for a very long time, but it's gotten to a point where I'm super frustrated and don't want to be here anymore. What's a long time? How long have you been there? Coming up on 20 years next year. What do you do? 19 and a half years. I work in manufacturing. Okay. And you want to jump ship to what? Working on boats. Like a boat mechanic?

33:40Yes. Okay. And do you have the skills to do that or would that require some licensing, some education? So I have a job offer at a company that is willing to train. Great. What are they going to pay? But it's a big pay cut for me. Okay. So I'm currently making about$135 ,000. This new job would be about$48 ,000. Okay. Are you single? I have a fiancé. Okay. What does the fiancé think about this? She's kind of down for whatever I'm down for. I'm the breadwinner of the house, and I need to keep things afloat.

34:22Rachel Cruze:What does she make? She doesn't make very much. She makes about$15 ,000 a year. What does she do? She's actually on disability. Okay. So for the foreseeable future,$15 ,000 is the ceiling? Yes. Okay. When are you guys getting married? I'm not sure about that. Okay. How old are you guys? I haven't set a date. I am 44. She's 52. 44 and 52. Okay. And what's your financial situation? Do you have any savings? How much debt do you have? Yeah. So, like I said, I've been following the baby steps for a while, and now I'm kind of struggling with the other side of actually being okay with spending some money.

35:02So, I managed to save up. I got about$550 in the 401. That split between traditional and Roth. I got about$25 ,000 in the stock market, about$30 ,000 in a high-yield savings account, and about$10 ,000 in my working, checking, and savings account. And no debt. I owe$57 ,000 on my house, which is worth – I had a realtor come out. She said we would list it between$350 ,000 and$375 ,000. Nice. Okay, no consumer debt. So you're in really good shape on that side. Where is this job going to be? Do you have to relocate? Yeah, so it's actually – it's down in the Bahamas. Oh, so this is like a life change.

35:49Yeah, this is a complete life change. Okay. I'm unaware of the cost of living in the Bahamas. Is it more or less than New York? So that's actually, there's a shared living arrangement with this company, and I would have the potential to stay there and not have to pay rent. Fiance is welcome as well. However, it's shared living, and I'm not really interested. What does that mean? You're in a house with other people? Yeah, so it's basically a two-bedroom apartment, and there's two of the employees live within that apartment. So you have your own bedroom, own bathroom, but you share a living room and kitchen.

36:26Rachel Cruze:Okay. Maybe doing that while you're still engaged. But once you guys get married, probably not, right? Right. That's the idea. Yeah. I wouldn't be comfortable with that. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Okay. So have you figured out cost of living down there, how much it would take you to pay rent and everything a month? uh yeah roughly i'm thinking probably around three thousand dollars a month okay um so what you make basically will for the most part be going towards living and you may get i don't know a couple hundred bucks or a thousand bucks extra a month because after taxes if you're making 48 i'm like i don't know what the bahamas tax i mean yeah but if you're making 48 gross you're going to be probably netting around three grand.

37:13Yes. So they only pay an assurity bond, which is like three and a half percent.

37:18Rachel Cruze:Okay. So it's not as much. And then I would also still be concerned about potential U.S. income tax, whatever that might be. Because you're not going to be a citizen there? And you don't have to pay it. Okay. Correct. Yeah. Man. Okay. Well. there is also i am a uh i am a disabled veteran okay and i do have um substantial income from that as well okay that would be equal to that's 4 500 a month oh well you buried the lead there that really helps us out here with the expenses we were scared you were running it up to the line but if you have that kind of margin i'd say ahoy sayonara i don't know what they say in the bahamas Captain John.

38:02Rachel Cruze:I mean, it sounds like a fun adventure. If your fiance is on board and it's not going to destroy your relationships, even if you did this for a couple of years. I was going to say, yeah. You've got some wiggle room to do this and then go, oh, that was fun. All right. I think you'd be fine. Yeah. Again, long term. I don't know if that's what you want to do. And, but the great thing is you've set yourself up well that your investments are going to continue to grow. You're going to be able to live well within what you are making, probably hopefully maybe still investing. I don't know how that works with taxes and I don't know.

38:29Rachel Cruze:But kind of figuring that out. And yeah, and then maybe you look up in five years, six years, you're like, you know what? I could probably go get a job in manufacturing again for 90 ,000 different company, less stress and keep moving. And then you're going to get some equity from your home when you sell it to do this move. You'd walk away with maybe 300 grand right there. You could just invest that. Just leave that and let it grow. And yeah, I mean, you'll come out for sure over a million dollar net worth, John, by the time this is all said and done. Yeah, I mean, I'm sitting at 950 right now, and maybe that's part of the block, right, is continuing to move the goalpost, and when is enough enough, right?

39:09That's kind of what I'm struggling with. I'm just wondering, is there an alternative where you go do a different job that you enjoy, and the boat stuff is still a really fun hobby? Maybe it's a side hustle versus jumping ship, pun intended.

39:23Rachel Cruze:I would say that but if it's it'd be different he's working on the I don't know harbor in New York versus the Bahamas you know yeah I mean it sounds enticing it's well it just sounds like a different like it's almost like you're just itching to get a different lifestyle too and it doesn't sound like this is a permanent pay cut the goal would be how do I get back to making you know close to six figures or more while doing something I enjoy if you came back though but would you be okay with him on a bohemian island? What's the upside there? Is there a room to grow there in the career? But I hate to say it.

39:57Rachel Cruze:She's like, does it matter? It doesn't matter. Rachel's going to do it for free. At this point, you've got a million bucks sitting in the bank. You live off of what you're making. I mean, do you have kids, John? No. She has three that are out of the house. Okay. Okay. I mean, it sounds like a fun adventure. To me, there's a low fail scenario. It doesn't bother me. Knowing that this may not be a forever plan. Why do you keep saying that? I'm just wondering, is he going to be 68 working on boats in the Bahamas? I don't know. He might be. He might be. What do you think, John? The ultimate goal would be to own my own boat and sail it around the world, or at least, you know, island hop and cruise.

40:35Now we're talking.

40:36Rachel Cruze:Wow. All right. That's some vision right there. That's what you can invite me and George on. We'll bring our spouses. You can thank Rachel for her great advice. It'll be a super yacht. Okay, so that's great. I mean, in a sense of having there is an external goal, right? So you're not just sitting idle. Like there's something you're still working towards, which is your point, George, that like, how can we be growing, working towards something? And the boat thing is great. And you'll have plenty of margin in your budget with what you're getting from the military and what you're making to make that a goal to, yeah, save up for the boat and do charters.

41:09And I think it's great. Congratulations, John. All right. Put in your two weeks. I'm about to go to HR.

41:20Rachel Cruze:See? All right, good luck. George, that's what scares me. You know, we have fun and throw out advice. We get to say whatever we want. But John has to go meet with HR. John has to go and actually take the advice. And then he's got to tell me how Rachel Cruz told me that I should quit. I do. I stand by that. I do. I stand by it. But it's a good reminder. You don't have to do work that you hate just because it's good money. That's right. Absolutely. And you don't have to go to the Bahamas to find a great life. To your point, he could have found a totally different manufacturing job. But it sounded like he's single.

41:51Rachel Cruze:This was a dream of his for a long time. He's single. I wrote down, what was his age? 40? 44. 44. Fiance's 52. You know, and there's not much tying him down. So it's like, you know. If not now, then when? You know, he's still got the energy to do that. I think it's fun. Send us some pics, John. I could do it. I want to see you working on this boat in the Bahamas. I know. beautiful water. Enjoy it. You worked hard. You got plenty of money. You're gonna be fine.

42:35If you're behind on your bills, doing more of the same isn't going to fix it. You need a different plan. And that's why I tell people about Guardian Litigation Group. If you've missed payments, if collectors are calling non-stop, or if you're getting letters about legal action, that's your signal. And it's where a lot of people wait too long because the longer you wait, the fewer options you usually have. And once it turns into a lawsuit, things can get more expensive and more complicated fast. Guardian Litigation is a law firm, not a call center. From day one, you are assigned an attorney who represents you.

43:13So if a creditor moves forward, you're not caught off guard and you're not hit with surprise legal fees. Guardian litigation only gets paid when the debt is negotiated and the client accepts the settlement offer. This is about stepping in early while you still have leverage. Don't ignore the problem. Take control of it. Go to guardianlit.com slash Ramsey right now. That's Guardian, L-I-T dot com slash Ramsey. Attorney advertising. Results may vary and no specific outcome is guaranteed.

43:50Rachel Cruze:Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with George Camel. Alright, we're going to go to the phones and in Jackson, Tennessee, we have Ron on the line. Hi, Ron. Welcome to the show. Hi, Rachel and George. Hope you guys are doing well. I have a quick question. Have you guys ever seen or heard of a store offering a significant discount if you finance as opposed to pay it to cash, even if it's 0 %? What kind of store are we talking? Furniture. Okay. So just to make the numbers round, my wife and I went into the store, found a nice piece of furniture we wanted.

44:27Let's just say the numbers were$1 ,000, offered to write them a check. And they say, no, we don't want your$1 ,000 today. hey, let us pay$800 and do it over 12 months. Have you ever seen that? Yes. It's almost like – And again, I'm not asking about this. Is this debt? Can I free up cash flow? That's not the best question. My business sense is going off as people don't offer 20 % discounts for nothing. And so I'm wondering what is the incentive for me to do something like that. Well, they have the data that shows how much they're going to make in interest charges when that person can't pay it off in the promotional period.

45:01and so they're making their bets that they're going to make more than the 20 discount they're giving you off of the debt they're going to sell you and they probably will because what they end

45:09Rachel Cruze:up doing is putting it's almost like a 90 day same as cash kind of scheme right so you go and and if and if someone that can't just sit there and write an 800 check uh and they take this this deal then or the that were the thousand dollars to take the 800 um yeah their likelihood of them at some point getting behind on the payment. And if they miss one payment, then it's all back interest, all back fees. I mean, they make so much money off of those kind of deals. Now, is this one particular store? Are you seeing this at every single furniture store you walk into? Just one particular store. I mean, we do not buy furniture very, very often.

45:47I think the last time we actually went into a store and bought furniture was years ago. Okay, well, what I would do is I would wave that amount of cash in their face and say, hey, I have$800 cash here. If you don't like it, I'm walking down to the next store. That's it. And just walk away. Yeah, I literally went into them and said, hey, if I do this, I hate doing this. I've never dealt with finance companies in my life, and I know you guys have, and that's why I'm calling. I literally said, hey, if I do this, the very first opportunity to get this balance to zero, here's the check for it. And they said, okay, we'll still do the discount anyway.

46:23So I'm just really confused. That's all.

46:25Rachel Cruze:Yeah, I mean, it's just a system. This happens at car dealerships, too. They'll say, here's the price, and they find out you're paying cash, and they go, oh, no, no, that price was only if you're financing. Because they make more with the financing. They get kickbacks. They're going to make money off the interest. And so I just don't deal with places that – Even at 0 %? I don't deal with places that don't have integrity. I say, here's the price. That's what I'm paying. Because if you go and read the fine print of what you're about to sign up for, I guarantee you that it says there will be a, it's zero interest if you pay on time.

46:56Rachel Cruze:If you don't pay on time and you miss something or they don't get the check in on time or it doesn't clear their system, then it's all back. And the interest sometimes on those, George, is more than credit cards. Oh, it's insane. 30%. I mean, it's just wild. So, no, they know what they're doing. And what they're really doing is they're just inflating the cash price. They're not actually discounting it. They're just inflating the cash price to where the financing price looks so much better that everyone's going to go, oh, well, why wouldn't we finance? So it's all psychological. It's just mind games they're playing.

47:27Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Again, I never deal with this stuff. I know you guys do, and I appreciate you shedding the light on this. Yeah, for sure.

47:35Rachel Cruze:Yep. And, you know, what I always worry about, George, is some people try to take the deal to get the$200. Thinking they won. Thinking they won. And then, I mean, these companies, sometimes they come back and like, well, it didn't clear our system within that 24-hour pay period. It happened. And if you didn't read the fine print, you have to pay by this certain date before the terms are up. And what you sign up for, you, yep. And so if you play with snakes, you can get bit. You will get bit. So listen, just stay away. I just played this game buying a car. And they were like, well, here's the price.

48:05And I was like, I'm not paying these random stuff you threw on there. And so I left and went to a different dealership that treated me with fairness and integrity. but great. Here's the price we agreed on. I'll write you a check for that amount.

48:17Rachel Cruze:That's right. That's one thing of not being emotional when you're buying something, something as small as a chair at a furniture store or a house, right? Like we get so invested or a car in this one particular thing, I can only have this, this right in front of me. And then you lose all negotiating power and the power to walk away and find a better deal. And so you just can't get emotional about this stuff. And I'm personally just not a fan of a lot of these furniture stores because the margin is high. The salespeople can be slimy. So here's what I do. And they pry on people that can't afford it either.

48:47Rachel Cruze:Yeah, do your research. Take that exact couch. Take a picture of it. Get the tag. Research it online. You can even upload a picture of the couch to Google and it will show you similar couches at a cheaper price. Amen. So do your research, people. Don't just walk in and get hosed by a salesperson with these financing deals. Oh, it's only today. It's only good for today only. I'm sure it is, bud. I'm sure it is. All right, let's go to Lynn in Knoxville, Tennessee. Hi, Lynn. Welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. My question is, I have about$50 ,000 saved up for a down payment on a house, but I'm not planning on buying a house right now.

49:27It would be at least two years, but it could be, but not necessarily less than your four to five year recommended timeline for putting money in the market. so two years is kind of your window for you want to buy in let's say 2028 um possibly it kind of honestly depends on my relationship status at the time because i would either need significantly more savings or to be married for uh the down payment to make sense and be within your parameters unless i want to get a little tiny fixer-upper got it so two years from now to afford something on your own with your own savings would be really tough, but you're sort of hoping that you'll be married with two incomes by then?

50:16Yeah, in a perfect world, that'd be great. Okay. Is there someone special in your life right now?

50:22Rachel Cruze:No, that's why I say at least two years, but maybe less than five. There you go. Well,$50 ,000, that's a lot. How long did it take you to save that? About the last five years. Okay, good for you. So you can sock away another$10 ,000,$15 ,000 a year at this point? Mm-hmm. Maybe not quite that much because I did open a Roth IRA and start maxing that out. You're sounding like an eligible bachelorette. Yeah. Well done. So would I invest this money knowing that it could be two, even three years? I personally wouldn't. I would store it in a high yield savings account and just let it grow at, you know, three and a half percent instead of what could happen in the market.

51:06Because here's what inevitably will happen because this is life. You'll go, yay, time to buy a house. And the market will be down 15 percent for no reason. And now you've lost money, quote unquote, on paper. And it's going to be heartbreaking. And so the more time you have, the higher the chances that your money will make more money, that the balance will be higher than when you started.

51:30So if it takes me six or seven years, I shouldn't get upset about the amount I could have made because it's better to have the money flexible when it's not a guaranteed long-term timeline. Now, if you told me for sure I'm not going to buy a house for the next five years, I'd say, all right, let's invest it. Let's let it ride. But it sounds like there's just a lot of variables right now in your life that you're unsure of.

51:54Rachel Cruze:Yeah. How old are you, Lynn? 29. 29. Okay. Do you see yourself in that area for a while where you are?

52:04Rachel Cruze:Highly likely, but not 100%. Okay. Yeah, I'd probably just, I'd probably lay low for a year or two. And if you look up maybe in a year or two and you're like, nothing really has moved about my situation, then maybe invest, right? Because there's nothing looming. But I probably would just give yourself a beat.

52:37Let me tell you what I get asked all the time. When should I get term life insurance? How much do I need? Is it affordable? Those are the right questions to be asking. So let's take a quick review. The fact is term life isn't a baby step. So if anyone is dependent on your income, you need to have 10 to 12 times your income in life insurance now. And most people are surprised by how affordable term life really is, even if you're not in perfect health. Look, I understand the hesitation since most insurance companies make it more of a hassle than it needs to be. Not at Xander Insurance. They're not an insurance company.

53:15They're a broker that works for you. That means they'll shop and compare the top term life companies to find the most competitive options on the coverage for your family. For almost 30 years, I've recommended Xander for straight answers, competitive rates, and coverage that actually protects your family. Call 800-356-4282 or go to Xander.com for a quick and easy quote. That's Xander.com.

54:02Rachel Cruze:the ramsey show question of the day is sponsored by why refi if you have fallen behind in your private student loans every month can feel like you are still that you're standing still why refi helps borrowers explore refinancing options that can help you start making progress again so go to yrefi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey. May not be available in all states. Today's question comes from Shauna in Indiana. I've been listening to this show for years and have never heard anyone mention cell phone debt. My husband and I were reviewing our bill recently and realized that between the two of us, we owe$1 ,000 on our phones that we bought two years ago.

54:42Should we add this debt to our snowball? Juicy. This is a newer thing because everybody's just weaving their phone price into the plans and the companies love it.

54:53Rachel Cruze:They do. Well, and prices of phones have gone up. It's the price of a laptop now. So much. Like, it's crazy. Because you literally have a laptop in your hand. It's true. Oof. As do I. So is this debt? Unfortunately, yes. It is a necessary payment you have to make for a previous decision and try not paying it. And that'll tell you a lot about if it's a debt or not. That's a good point. What happens if I stop paying? Well, it'll go to collections. You could get sued. I don't know if they're repoing phones yet, but that's probably the near future. Come get it. Apple's now leasing phones. I don't know if you saw this.

55:25So we've, I mean, it's just like anything else now. Yep. Lease your car, lease your phones, never own anything.

55:31Rachel Cruze:And remember, they're doing this not out of the goodness of their heart. They always find a way that they are going to make more money doing what they need to do, right? So just as the consumer, don't fall for it. So should we add this to our debt snowball? Yes. Yes. I would. pay it off and then pay cash next time all right let's go to sam in washington dc hi sam welcome to the show hi hello how can we help today well i've been listening for a few weeks now and um trying to get started and i have had historically the the high yield interest uh savings account as one of the accounts we've had. So I have that.

56:18And we don't have a lot in there. My husband and I are both IT support in the industry of IT support. Total income is around$200 ,000 a year. But I went into the EveryDollar app and put in our stuff for August. and it's showing us that we have more payments than we have income. Wow. How much debt do you guys have?

56:52Just under$325 ,000, not including the house.

56:57Rachel Cruze:Wow. Student loans? What are the debts? About a third of it is my student loans. Okay. So will you list out your debts for us? There's a lot of them. You can give us the big chunks. Yeah. What's credit card debt, car debt, personal loans? We have two cars, about$60 ,000 total. Okay.

57:24We've made a lot of bad choices.

57:28Rachel Cruze:That's okay. We get talked into buying things. Okay. Timeshare? We could probably have put up. God, we got out of timeshares years ago. Okay. Who's talking you into this? Salespeople, go figure. You need to stop talking to people. That would solve a lot of this. Okay, is there a lot of credit card debt, Sam? Yeah, we do have credit card debt, but we also have some home improvement debt as well. So the latest one was a roof that is insured for 50 years and is good for 100. are you trying to sell me on a new roof oh my god you're leading with the features of this roof what did it cost you 50 000 okay i won't be around in 100 years so i could care less about this warranty but okay cost you 50 grand for a new roof so we definitely got ripped there that's an insane amount yeah on a roof oh and uh we have new hvac from three years ago that we We have an attorney involved with that.

58:35But you owe on that as well? You owe on that, and the company that sold it to us oversold and didn't install properly, and the thing isn't worked. Sam, I'm going to be honest with you. So far, it sounds like your debt has been everyone else's problem. You were talked into it. I got scammed. I was told this. if you want to get out of this thing, the first step is to realize it's not all your fault, but it's your responsibility. Yes. No, I can,

59:04Rachel Cruze:we completely understand that. Okay. So I want to know how you guys have been month to month now, because if you plugged in all your numbers and I go, gosh, we're in the red, how deep in the red are you? 800. $800. Okay. Where has that been coming from the past couple of months? I mean, if the payments have been consistent, where, and you guys have been short, 800 bucks are you going deeper into debt or do you have savings that you're taking from to cover that 800 no we don't have savings um because every time we try to start something happens okay and it gets drained so um i just wonder how you're living so you're using the credit cards to cover any gaps uh we don't have gas we have two electric vehicles no i was saying to cover the gap of like the 800 bucks that you need you're using credit cards to fund that uh for some of it yes i believe yeah that's where all the credit card debt is ending up from okay okay has your husband looked at this stuff too have you guys sat down and looked at the budget together or is this just you so far yeah no it's it's we both of us are tired of paycheck to paycheck and not I get more anxiety over it than he does but he does get frustrated okay well I'm glad you called Sam because yeah we're going to be able to really just walk you down what we call the baby steps and you're going to have to in order to make this work is it's going to have to be a complete 180 of what you guys have been doing how you guys have been making decisions buying things how you've not been budgeting, how, you know, I mean, everything you've been doing, you're pretty much going to just do the opposite.

1:00:54Rachel Cruze:And so the fastest way to do it is that first step is a thousand dollars and, and you keep it, yep. And that high yield savings account and don't touch it. And then you're going to be looking at a mountain of debt. And as you listed out smallest to largest, and you said, we have a lot of debt. So if it's multiple credit cards, multiple students, I mean, like literally write them all individually out and actually look at it and say, okay, this is where all of our money is going. And it's probably gonna be pretty shocking. You may have already done that because you guys said you plugged in your income to every dollar.

1:01:28Rachel Cruze:And then from there, you're gonna have to figure out, okay, we're gonna be working extra. We're gonna be selling some stuff to get some cash in fast. We're gonna cut our lifestyle. And instead of, you know, acting like you make 200, we're gonna act like we make 80. we're going to live on nothing, nothing in order to get this margin up to start knocking out this debt. But the great thing is too, Sam, is as you guys start paying it off, paying off some of these debts, it's going to free up those monthly payments. So it's going to cause you to have more and more margin as you go down to the debt snowball to pay it off.

1:02:01Rachel Cruze:But yeah, I mean, as you're looking at it, it's going to be a bit. And I would look at getting rid of these cars just to give you a quick win. Yes, yes. Especially if you're not underwater on them, if you can profit off of them and use that cash to buy yourself some cheap cars, five grand each, that's going to be your ticket out. Because then you've got$265 left. And if you threw like, let's say you take home 12, making $200K, take home 12 a month, if you can throw$7K at the debt, you're done in three years. Yep. So that's the napkin math that we now have to reverse engineer and go, okay, we need to come up with$7 ,000 and live off five.

1:02:35And there's a good chance a thousand of that is in the car

1:02:38Rachel Cruze:payments, right? So if you get rid of that, that's going to free up cash immediately. And then yeah, looking at your lifestyle, but, um, but that's it. And, and, and Sam, what's wild is that this is so doable. And what's crazy too, when we see people do this, especially as they are working their way out of debt and when it's over a 24 month period, some people do it, you know, 18 to 24 months. But when you're looking at a three-year journey here, it's amazing. The amount of people like it raises in this time. They find some side hustle. They start working harder. They get the promotion. It's crazy.

1:03:09Rachel Cruze:So your income is hopefully going to be increasing throughout this process too, which is going to help bring extra margin. But it's going to take, it's going to feel like whiplash of how you guys have been functioning with money. But you know what? You want the opposite result. You're tired of where you are. And so that means there's going to have to be some changes and it may be uncomfortable for a bit, but you're going to start to have this normalcy of what this looks like to have control of your money. Thank you.

1:03:49A lot of banks are happy to hold your money, but Fairwinds Credit Union helps you make progress. Most people spend years focusing on their financial goals and never stop to ask whether their bank is helping them get there or just holding on to their money. The real goal is building an emergency fund, paying cash for your next car, saving for a home, looking at your finances and actually feeling some peace. That's why I love Fairwinds. Their smart bundle gives you up to 10 free high-yield savings accounts to help you stay organized as you save for different goals. Plus, early direct deposit and no monthly fees.

1:04:21And you get support from real people who want to help you win with money. You can even get the Ramsey Debt is Normal Be Weird debit card, which is linked to your free Fairwinds Spend Smart checking account to tell the world you think differently about money. So look, if you're working the baby steps, your bank should be helping you move toward financial freedom, not just park your cash. Go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey to open your smart bundle and start making progress today. That's fairwinds.org slash Ramsey, insured by the NCUA.

1:05:08Rachel Cruze:One of the biggest mistakes that people make is thinking that they can skip out on having a will because they're too young, too healthy, or they just don't feel like they own enough to make it worth it. But listen, a will helps protect your family. It gives you clear instructions and can keep your loved ones from having to guess what you wanted during a difficult time. So if you're ready to create one, go to mamabearlegal.com. And if you don't know where to start, text quiz to 33789, and we'll help you figure out what's best for your situation. But again, if you want to create a will, go to MamaBearLegal.com.

1:05:45Rachel Cruze:Yeah, Mama Bear Legal forms, they're amazing. I always throw in forms in there. That's why the website at first, I was like, oh no. I got tripped up. They're shortening the name to make it a little simpler for us to type in. I appreciate that. But they're great, easy, state-specific wills, you guys. It does not take long. And I'm telling you, it is so worth it. Everyone, everyone needs a will. If you listen to the show long enough, you know the heartbreak that happens when someone didn't have a will, didn't update the will. Yes. And the family's left grieving while picking up the pieces and it causes a relational nightmare.

1:06:14So please get it done.

1:06:15Rachel Cruze:And we'll throw in life insurance. If you have a family, if someone's dependent upon your income or if you're a stay-at-home mom, life insurance, guys. My first question when I find out someone passes, did they have life insurance? And they say, no, my heart sinks because then the road ahead is going to be so much more difficult. Yes. So yeah, you can go to Zander Insurance for term life. We'll just throw it all out there, George, but it is important. It's the adulting package. It is. So please, please get it. All right. let's go to Nick in Dallas, Texas. Hi, Nick. Welcome to the show. Hi, Rachel and George.

1:06:48Thank you so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Huge fan of what you guys are doing and you guys have my dream job. But anyways, I am calling in bottom line up front. My wife and I are not super sure what we should do with our house. I want to tell it a little bit of context. We live outside of Dallas, Texas. We've been in the home for since February 2025. We're planning to be in the home longer than we are, but life happens. We're planning to move to Atlanta, Georgia, to be closer to family. Fortunately, we have the house paid off. Amazing. I understand that you guys do not recommend.

1:07:26Yes, I understand you guys do not recommend doing long-term, long-distance rentals, and we don't want to do that either. However, we live in a new construction community. our home has been listed for coming up on two months we've had zero interest and uh we want to i can explain more of why you want to go to atlanta but i'll i'll pause there looking forward to your guys recommendation have you talked to your agent as to why there's been zero interest in 60 days yes yeah so what do they think in a new construction yeah so living in a new construction community they can the houses that are going up right across the street from us are able to do you know about like a 30 30 thousand dollar um incentive that we you know just can't compete with so so people would rather build it basically custom and have more options at a lower price exactly exactly how long will the development be in

1:08:24Rachel Cruze:process do you know how many more is it how many more lots they need to build out in that area Well, they're developing a new phase just as stones throw away from us. So, I mean, it'll be years before they're completely done building new homes. But there's still people who want a house now and don't want to go through that process. And don't have the timeline to wait for a new build. Yeah. So I don't buy that as a full excuse of just like, well, they're still building homes, so people don't want mine. is it priced too high i mean that's realistically for the current market which is obviously cooled a lot yes i mean it's definitely priced fair we bought the helmet 323 and we uh we listed it initially at 314 9 so uh i thought we priced it fair but we got zero zero interest and that's like definitely runs runs right with some of the comps i mean but to mention though So there are no resale homes that have sold in the past 90 days.

1:09:30So it's hard to find good comps because there's not a lot of action out there. Exactly, exactly. Man, that is tough. When do you guys have to make this move? What's the urgency? So urgency is we've got two young kids. We've got a daughter who's a year and four months old and a special needs son who's four months old. so we're just really itching to be in Atlanta to be closer to family who can help there so that's yes ma 'am

1:10:03Rachel Cruze:okay so what I probably would do Nick is how much do you guys make a year?

1:10:12close to depending on commission anywhere between $175 and$200 Okay.

1:10:22Rachel Cruze:Because what I would do is I would go ahead and go to Atlanta, and I would rent there for a year. Go sign a year contract, and it's going to not be fun because you went from owning to renting. It's going to feel like a little bit of a step back. But I would give yourself some time and not be rushed on this house because you don't have to be urgent. It's not like you're trying to balance two mortgages, and you're like, we can't afford both mortgages, so we've got to sell one quick. Time is on your side, which is an amazing thing. That's part of why not having debt, that it allows that time margin, which actually allows you to probably get a better deal on this house.

1:10:58Rachel Cruze:So I would go to Atlanta and I would rent somewhere for a year, keep the house up. I would look at one of our trusted real estate agents, not saying that yours isn't great, but I know ours in the program, like we interview them and make sure that they are high quality. And I would look and maybe get a different option with a realtor. And I would. I would be patient and I would sell this house. I think eventually it will sell. You don't have to sell it in 60 days. You don't have to sell it in 90 days. So I would take my time with it and then reevaluate. Maybe if it's been, you should be able to sell it.

1:11:33Rachel Cruze:So I'm like, I don't even want to put it out there that it'll be nine months and it won't sell. Because I really do think, yeah, eventually it will. I just don't want you to be in a rush to do it. So I would just budget for the, you know, insurance taxes, some utilities to keep this thing afloat while you guys make this move to Atlanta. But you put yourself in a position where you have that option, which is amazing. So you look back on this and it'll just be like an annoying thing you guys had to deal with during a hard time in life. But I like the idea of not making it a fire sale and just knocking down the price until it's at$275.

1:12:06And now you're really, you're eating a lot of this cost through fees and selling it for less than you paid for it. Right. Okay. So it's just a harsh timing of just you guys bought where things were expensive and the market cooled during the last year, and especially in Dallas where there's not a ton of demand. People want to buy homes, but there's not a lot at the price they want it. And so I would be trying to figure out why are homes selling that are selling in my area and how can I start to match that to get this thing to move. Okay. That makes sense. Great. I'm a little surprised that you guys went with a long distance rental, but hey, I'll take it.

1:12:46Well, I wouldn't rent it out, personally.

1:12:48Rachel Cruze:No, because you're going to eventually want to sell it. I'm saying you just sit on it. Oh, just hold. Okay, so don't rent it out. Sorry, Rachel. I thought that was you. Oh, sorry. No. Just sit on it. She was saying go rent in Atlanta for a year. In Atlanta. Yeah. Okay. Yes. Okay. Gotcha. Have the house sit. It's going to be harder to sell when you've got a tenant in there, too. Yeah. So that's going to slow things down. Yeah, and if you guys aren't coming back to Dallas anytime soon, because it sounds like families in Atlanta, no, I wouldn't want to be tied to Dallas. It's like just sell the house, be done, take the equity, and go buy something great in Atlanta once it sells.

1:13:23Rachel Cruze:So, yeah, no, do not rent it out. If you need to change real estate agents just to get another flavor in there, do that. Get a second opinion. Yep, I would rent in Atlanta until this house sells and then use that equity and any other cash you guys have to buy something permanent in Atlanta because it sounds like that's where you guys want to be. I heard a stat, Georgia, and I hate to throw it out because I need to check, but it was something around like the idea that Dallas-Fort Worth had more new homes being built than the whole state of California. That is wild because of how hard it is to get anything built in California with the regulations.

1:13:59Rachel Cruze:mostly that yes but also i think it's just like yeah it's just booming i mean people are houses growing up everywhere there yeah it's pretty wild we're seeing that in nashville in like the downtown area they threw up all these apartments and condos oh my gosh it's crazy there's just too much supply it's a lot it's a lot so yep in those in those areas you will feel a little settling back to normalcy um but it is still it's a wild market out there but yeah nick i hope that i hope that helps i hope it gets sold quick for you guys um but yeah i would make that move with those two kids, being close to family, go rent somewhere.

1:14:52If you want to free up margin in your budget, one of the first things you should do is take a hard look at your monthly bills because every dollar you overpay is another dollar you don't have for reaching your financial goals. And overpaying for your phone bill, well that makes zero sense. And it's why I recommend Boost Mobile. Their unlimited plan is just$25 a month forever. No contracts, no hidden fees, no surprise price hikes. If you already have a phone you love, you can keep it and keep your number when you switch. And if you're skeptical, Boost Mobile offers a 30-day money-back guarantee, so you can try it risk-free.

1:15:33Listen, your phone bill should fit your budget, not the other way around. Reaching your financial goals is easier when you can pay less for the same service. Switching to Boost Mobile now is just a smart money move. Go to BoostMobile.com slash Ramsey and make the switch today. That's Boost BoostMobile.com slash Ramsey. $25 forever requires customers to remain active on Boost Mobile Unlimited Plan.

1:16:15Rachel Cruze:If you enjoy this show and it's helped you, then will you please do us a favor and share it with your friends, with your family. Subscribe, leave a comment. Just engage because it is one of the best ways to get the word out about the show. And because we want to see people win with their money. We want to help them. And if you're listening, I assume you enjoy it. Otherwise, this is like a hate watch for you, which is strange. Yeah, it might be. But people do it. Share with your moral enemies. We love you. Share with those who need it the most. That's right. That's right. All right, let's go to Claire in Seattle, Washington.

1:16:48Rachel Cruze:Hi, Claire. Welcome to the show. Hi, I am so excited to be on here. Unfortunately, not under these circumstances. Oh, no. So my question is, should we disinherit our son completely? And the circumstances, we are the cautionary tale to not do too much or give too much to your kids. so we're we're retired we have worked hard all our lives and um my son got a divorce about five years ago and quit his job he had addiction issues and needed you know to get those under control and lose weight and do all that and then he went to school and we supported him through all of those emotionally, financially.

1:17:39He had a daughter as well, supported him through all of that, never did get a job. And we spent a lot of money through all of that. And like, probably close over, close and over to three quarters of a million dollars. And we asked him, we told him that it was time to get a job. And he quit talking to us

1:18:06Rachel Cruze:and also kept his daughter away, who we raised through a lot of that. Oh, Claire, I'm so sorry. So we're kind of all done because we just cut him off. We just said it's time, you know, it's time. So he lives in our carriage house above our garage. Hard to cut him off at that point when he's 50 feet away from you. Wait, what? I know. Yeah. He lives above our garage. So he gets he's gotten free rent, free everything. And, you know, it's like it's it's bad. And yes, we take full responsibility for that. You know, it's our fault. No, it's not your fault. He did make decisions. Yes. Were you guys still giving money?

1:18:53Rachel Cruze:Yeah. But also, you were not forcing him to make these decisions or lack thereof. That was not you. That was him. That was him. Yes. I mean, we told him that, you know, he turned this into this situation that was supposed to like get him started to. Yes. You know. So how long ago did did you guys cut him off? About probably five weeks ago. Okay, so it is fairly new. And then what's going to be happening with the living situation? Well, he has a fiancé, and we told him he had until the end of the year, or until he got married, to be done with that. Okay. So likely it's going to be the end of the year.

1:19:40I'm assuming he's not going to be married in the next couple of months? No, unfortunately. So December 31st is his last day living in the carriage house? Is that clear to him? Possibly.

1:19:50Rachel Cruze:That is clear to him. In fact, we're writing up an agreement to that fact. Okay. And he's not working right now still? He's looking for a job because he has no money. Yep. Yeah. Well, he did get money from a house sale. And his fiance is living in the carriage house too? No, no, no, no. She's living in her own house. Okay. Yeah. Woof. Well, the positive is that, yeah, when you cut off the source, you don't have many options. but to go and find a job to work, right? So, I mean, that is the right move. And for him, is he in recovery? Has he been sober? Yes, he's been sober for probably four years now.

1:20:33Rachel Cruze:Oh, good. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. So you've already cut him off now, but you're saying for the trust, once you guys pass, you're saying, should we disinherit everything to him? Well, because he hasn't had a job. So, you know, and then he has to keep a job. So he has to prove himself to keep a job, not just have a job, get a job, but he has to keep a job. And he hasn't been financially responsible with money he's had. And so it's like, you know, that creates a pattern as well, because he's been living the life of Riley. I mean, well, you're not obligated to leave anything to anyone. You can give it all to a charity if you so choose.

1:21:20Rachel Cruze:But also, to your point earlier, Claire, he was living the life that was, you know, given to him. So I do wonder on his own merits, if you look up in a year, that this could have been the best thing that's ever happened to him. Yes. And you see, I know. My gut is I would not do a full disinheritance. What I would do is a structured trust that has all kinds of distributions and clauses tied to sobriety and work and education. All of those things you can set up within the trust where he's not getting a dime unless X, Y, Z are true. Yeah, and the executor of the trust can make sure that these things are, the obligations are hit in order for him to get this money, right?

1:22:07Rachel Cruze:And it's never all at once. It's, hey, at this age or at this, you know, milestone, this much will be given. How much will you guys be leaving, Claire? Like assets-wise, like net worth-wise? If the house is sold and all that. Over 20 million. Okay. How many kids do you guys have? One. Oh, it's just him? Yeah. Wow. And his daughter. He's, okay. Oh, my gosh. Sorry. In my head, I... So if this doesn't go to him, where would it go as of now? To his daughter. All to the daughter. Mm-hmm. And I just see the way it's kind of ruined him. Sure. So it's like, you know, we were thinking of possibly a lifetime discretionary trust, which it doesn't, you know, it keeps generational kind of thing.

1:23:02Have you worked with an estate planning attorney to figure out what's the right one for what you're trying to accomplish? Yeah, we're kind of in the throes of that right now. Okay. But because it's easier to add somebody versus take them out. But it's like, what do we do? I like the idea of it being a structured trust for now. And again, you can always change that in the future because that already has a lot of stipulations before he would get a dime. There's also generational skip, you know, skipping trust to where it would just go to his daughter, your granddaughter. But again, we don't know her future.

1:23:36And so I would still have provisions there. And obviously she's a minor, I'm assuming. So it would be a while until she could access this.

1:23:43Rachel Cruze:And Claire, you could do something in a clause that says, you know, for the next, like if something happened to you and your husband in the next 12 months that he doesn't get this money for six years. And he has to establish himself for six years before he even sees a little bit of it. You know what I mean? to make sure that there's somewhat of a pattern happening in the positive direction. Again, where he is today, if$20 million got dumped on him, you're exactly right. It would be horrible for him. It would not be a blessing. So for him, for the dignity of him and his character to live out a certain way before he sees a dime of it, I think is very reasonable.

1:24:27Rachel Cruze:How old is he? he's he'll be 33 this year and i'm not excited about his new wife well that's something else to think about exactly so what makes you not excited about it is a a character thing a financial thing that's not a good i think she's she might be in it for the the rainbow the gold pot at the end of the rainbow. And so that worries me. Well, I wouldn't worry too much until they actually get married. You know, his track record has not been great with following through, right? But if they get married, I mean, yeah. And this size of an estate, it's going to be cumbersome. It's going to be annoying to have to go back and redo something, but it would be worth it, right?

1:25:20Rachel Cruze:Like if you have to make decisions today. It's a$20 million decision. Yeah, I would push it out and make sure that he can't really get anything until, I don't know, making this up 40. Just for him, he needs to hold a job. He needs to learn to work. I mean, all of that so that this money doesn't ruin him. And then if he ends up getting married and there's still feelings towards that, you know, if you have some kind of addendum in the estate with that, but an estate attorney should be able to work through some of those hoops, but oh, Claire, I'm so sorry. I know that's such, so heavy to carry. But yeah, call us back if you need us.

1:26:03Rachel Cruze:Hey guys, it's Rachel Cruz. If you're working the baby steps, every major expense deserves a second look. And healthcare is one of the biggest expenses in most families' budgets. And that is why I recommend that you check out Christian healthcare ministries. CHM isn't insurance. It's a health cost-sharing ministry. That means members help pay one another's medical bills, and they've been serving Christians since 1981. CHM programs start at just$115 a month. And here's why that matters. If you are paying more than you need to for healthcare, that money could be going toward paying off debt, building your emergency fund, or reaching your next financial goal.

1:26:44Rachel Cruze:And your monthly cost isn't based on your medical history or where you live. Y 'all, a lot of families find CHM gives them more room in the budget. That's why so many members say they're better with CHM. And right now, new members can receive a 50 % credit towards their first month of membership. Go to chministries.org slash budget and use promo code RAMSEY. That's chministries.org slash budget and promo code RAMSEY.

1:27:18Rachel Cruze:Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with George Camel. And we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. All right, let's go to Sarah in Los Angeles. Hi, Sarah. Welcome to the show. Hi, how are you guys doing? We're doing great. How can we help? Hi. So I recently got into some money through a settlement from work, and I wanted to see how I go about that with wanting to pay off my mom's house. She owes about 200K and then trying to afford a house in the expensive neighborhood I live in. Like, how should I go about that? Oh, wow. Okay.

1:28:03Rachel Cruze:What happened? um it was basically just i'm getting almost about maybe about a million dollars that i honestly can't really talk about that's fair that's fair okay so yeah that's fair sorry um no are you okay are you good oh yeah health wise and everything okay perfect it's been a long time coming it's it's been a long time i actually started listening to your show because i knew this was coming and i've been reading the books and listening for the past six months oh wow okay Okay. Amazing. So you're getting a million dollars in a settlement. Is that going to be taxed or is that all tax-free? Tax-free.

1:28:40Okay. And how much do you have in savings right now? Nothing. Do you have any debt? I do about all together with my car and consumer everything, about$31 ,000. $31 ,000 for you. And then do you rent right now? I do. Okay. And why do you want to pay off mom's house? she's just she's done everything for me i just i you know i just want her to be stress-free she's just amazing i already know her she's not even going to want me to but just as a gift so this is just like a nice thing is she okay financially otherwise um kind of they yeah yeah a little bit kind of not to they use credit cards and they're not they know they shouldn't they've talked about that um so like they're fine they own a house and everything that you know they but but if you pay

1:29:30Rachel Cruze:off this house is there any chance they would go take a second mortgage because they need help financially okay okay not absolutely my mom is so about perfect good with money good that that's the only always my question yeah yeah my mom is instilled she hated that i even opened up credit cards she's instilled me not ever doing stuff like that like she's even ashamed she had to open one up recently because she's against it. So no, she wouldn't do that. Absolutely not. Okay. And you're single, no kids? Yes. Okay. So you've got$31 ,000 in debt to pay off, plus we need an emergency fund. So that's a great place to start.

1:30:07Let's put our own mask on first. And how old are you? I am 36. Okay. And you want to buy a house in the greater Los Angeles area? I mean, either that or I'm thinking of moving in three years. I don't know if I should just invest the money in mutual funds or keep renting. I guess I just don't know my next move. And also, I should say, I do want to pay off my brother, some of my brother's stuff, too, as well. Not a lot. Maybe his car. I can't not go without paying some of his debt off. Well, see, now I'm wondering, well, now Cousin Jerry, he's wondering why you're not paying off his loans, too. And Dad's going, hey, I'd like to buy a truck.

1:30:48And so that's my fear is that this turns into people coming out of the woodwork knowing that you came into some money. So I would just be cautious. I love that you want to be generous with it, but I also don't want to enable and cause relational chaos in the family. Right. I've decided I'm keeping it between my brother and my mom, and I've decided that's what who's going to know, and that's it. I've kept it that way for years. So, yeah.

1:31:11Rachel Cruze:And, and the way to kind of look at this too, Sarah, just to think about, it's almost the same mindset as like a lottery winner. Right. And I hate to even say that, because I know you went through a lot to get this money. I know you didn't just go buy a ticket and win this, but the idea that a lump sum is just given to you, you know, when we think about money, money is like a magnifying glass. It makes us more of what we already are and our habits more of what our habits are. It doesn't change us. It makes us more of who we are. And so you are a generous person, which I love. I mean, your natural instinct was to like, give this money, some of this money away, right?

1:31:48Rachel Cruze:And so you are a natural, generous person. So when a million dollars is handed to you, that's going to be magnified, which is beautiful. But also if there are bad money habits, you got to be aware that this money is not going to fix those. And over time, this money may be gone and the habits still remain. So you do have to remember to change your behavior. You have to have some absolutes in your life. Like I'm absolutely not going back into debt. I absolutely will always have a three to six month emergency fund. I will absolutely have some absolutes that you fall back on that are different than today.

1:32:23Rachel Cruze:And because you don't have money saved and you do have$31 ,000 in consumer debt. So I don't want those attributes to be magnified with this money. I want the opposite, if that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And that's what it's funny, because I've been scared of this happening so soon, because I'm like, man, I want to get out of the debt on my own and start doing money before this happens. Because like, I've been doing pretty good with not using my credit cards, listening to you guys. And, you know, so I agree, I do. This is something I do want to change a habit 100%. Yes. Well, how much do you make a year in your job?

1:32:56Rachel Cruze:um probably around 90 90 okay um so yeah 100 90 about 90 to 100 okay so what i i don't know my my instinct right now is i think you're pretty set on helping your mom um so i would be okay again i would tell her not to talk about it because just like george said i feel like people are gonna be coming out of the woodworks i would do that and then i i would pay off your debt and get that fully funded emergency fund and a high yield savings. And then the remainder, which may be 700, I almost would park in a high yield savings for like a year. Okay. And just, I don't know. It sounds like you've got some life changes coming up the next two to three years from what you mentioned.

1:33:45Rachel Cruze:I wouldn't buy right now, especially if you're going to be moving in three years. and there's a part of me that I would still have a handle on my lifestyle of what I make per year in your job um and again you're gonna have no debt and you have a fully funded emergency fund but learning to live off of that 90 of what you make I think will create and instill some like very disciplined habits so that way if you do choose to pull some money out to buy a new car or something, there's still that constant rhythm of living within your means. That makes sense. That's a good idea. And if you just park that money, if you park 700 grand in a high yield savings account with the current rates, you'd probably net about two grand a month just doing that, just letting it sit.

1:34:35Oh, wow. So make sure it's in a high yield savings account and not a traditional brick and mortar bank. And fairwinds.org slash Ramsey, you can set up a whole smart bundle including that. but I would have wise counsel around you. So if you don't already have these three, you definitely need them. You need a good real estate agent. You need a good CPA for the tax side because even gifting money to your parents, gifting 200 grand, you got to make sure that you're filling out the right forms. Otherwise it's going to go against your estate. And so you may want to be strategic with how you give. And then you also want a good financial advisor.

1:35:06As soon as you're talking about making these big money moves, a lot of zeros on the end, they can help you make sure that you understand what you're doing while keeping you in the driver's seat. So you're gonna have to build some muscles you don't currently have. But I feel like the fact you've been researching, I got to watch the show, it tells me that you are very cautious, you want to be wise with this.

1:35:24Rachel Cruze:And go slow with this, Sarah. You know, we even say if people go through an event, like they lose a loved one and they get life insurance, we say don't make any major decisions for a year and just sit. Because there's just something emotional about seeing that many zeros in an account that you've never had before, you know, and there's like, there's kind of a part of you that just wants to just settle in and not make any big, knee-jerk decisions right now. But getting some of those people in your corner are going to be smart. But that's awesome, Sarah. I'm so, so happy for you with this.

1:36:07Hey, it's Dave Ramsey. If you or someone you know owns a small business, listen up. What if you could build the kind of business you'd be proud to hand down to your kids? Over 30 years, I've been able to build Ramsey Solutions into a business that's going to be a blessing for my kids. I'll show you how to do the same thing at Entree Leadership Master Series November 8th through the 13th. During this five-day conference, you'll get my strategies for building a winning business that outlasts you. Visit RamseySolutions.com slash Master Series for tickets or click the link in the show notes.

1:37:02Rachel Cruze:We wish that we could get to every call and question here on the show. But if you do have a money question and you want it answered, make sure to check out Ask Ramsey. So this is on our website and it's our free AI tool and it's built and trained on Ramsey principles. So you'll get the answer the same way as if you had called in on the show. And even some of the follow-up questions of getting the right information about your situation to give you the perfect answer. It is there. It's amazing. This is a great tool. So go to RamseySolutions.com and check it out. And we'll put a link down below if you're listening on podcast or YouTube.

1:37:36Rachel Cruze:All right, let's go to James in Boise. Hi, James. Welcome to the show. Hey, Rachel. George, thanks for taking my call. Absolutely. How can we help? So I have a job working for a hospital making$150 ,000 a year. and I have a$47 ,000 emergency fund and no debt except for a couple hundred thousand left on a house. And God has provided some side hustles where I consult on the side for some hospitals and little hospitals and most of them pay. And the one, there's always that one. So the one is about seven months behind and charge 1.5 % late fee. Now we're up to about$1 ,500 a month in late fees would you whoa just keep rolling with a late fee or would you press them for the 87 000 maile yeah i mean are they going to pay you anything at this point what's been the communication all right well i mean i keep sending them boys they've they've been behind before up to maybe 40 000 but um you know i think i don't know if they're just you know using the monies maybe they get more use out of it you know than 1.5 percent than i'm charging them but uh you know i think They pay on the squeaky wheel, and I'm just collecting late fees.

1:38:52But they've paid the late fees before. They have. Okay. So there's a precedence here that they're willing to pay the late fees knowing full well they signed the contract with you, saying we agreed to the late fee. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with collecting the late fee. Okay. They just not built up quite this much debt yet. Yeah. It's not fun when someone owes you that. I mean, this is a lot of money they owe you. You said$87 ,000? Yeah. Okay.

1:39:21Rachel Cruze:Is it a hospital, did you say, or an individual? Hospital. Okay. Would you be willing to take them to like a small claims court for this? Well, I mean, I don't think I would have to, but I mean, you definitely would. You wouldn't want to just blow this off. Yeah. Next month. Yeah, I would ask for the full. Next month we'll be collecting 16. Yeah, I would go ahead and ask for it. And then I think I would be done with business with them because I think it just adds some stress and it makes your yearbook's all wonky. And it's taking a lot of time on your part to deal with this. Well, I mean, it doesn't, I mean, I just tack on to one point.

1:39:55I mean, if I'm collecting$1 ,300, next month$1 ,500 in just late. Well, you're only collecting it on paper until they actually pay. True. True. And if they do pay, I mean, I imagine they would. So I can press them for some and they'll probably pay. It's just, I don't know, one advantage. It's nice when it gets up there, but. Yeah, but it's just a lack of integrity if they're not paying you on time and it's been seven months. It's not like a mom and pop. This is an actual hospital. Correct. That's making a lot of money. Yeah. So they have the money to pay you. Yes. Okay. I would press them for the full amount and go, hey, guys, I just need this final payment, but our relationship here is done.

1:40:36And if there's anything in the contract that stipulates after this many months, it goes to small claims court. I don't know what they signed, what you set up with them, but I would enforce whatever they signed. And you said you feel kind of weird of like, do I just sit here and just like keep collecting late fees?

1:40:51Rachel Cruze:I mean, I guess you could, but I would always have something in the back of my head of like, okay, they owe me. Like, I don't know. I think I would just. Add it to the tab. Yeah. I think I would ask for the amount and be done. And then if they want to start over this whole process and you choose to engage that, then that's one thing. I'd be having them pay up front from now on. Yeah. Just for you to have your money. Yeah, absolutely. All right, let's go to Alex in Minneapolis. Hi, Alex. Welcome to the show. Hi, Rachel. Hi, George. Thanks for taking the call. Absolutely. How can we help? Yeah, so my wife and I are just starting off with the baby steps.

1:41:28We're on step two. Right now we have$106 ,000 in debt. Of the$106 ,000,$34 ,000 is a car. That car is$12 ,000 underwater. water. We want to sell the car and then save up to buy a car with cash. But we're kind of like unsure on how to do that because it's a secure loan. And so if we sell the car, I guess we're kind of thinking that we have to have the$12 ,000 to pick up the difference. Yeah. They can't clear the title until you have that loan paid off. Yeah. So a lot of people go to the actual lender that's holding the loan and they do the whole transaction there okay that's the easiest way to do it um have you got actual quotes on what the car is worth where's this 22 000 number coming from kelly blue book okay and is that private party or trade-in private party okay okay and you've actually looked up have you looked up listings for similar cars to see if they're actually selling for 22 or if they're listed for more, that might give you a good picture.

1:42:36Okay. And then I would get quotes from every single place possible, every dealership, the Carvana, the CarMax, to get a sort of a floor of, okay, I know I can get at least this much for it if I did it this way versus listing it on my own. But worst case, you need to save up the cash or get a loan for the difference from a credit union.

1:42:54Rachel Cruze:Yeah, you may have to go get a$15 ,000,$16 ,000 loan just to have some margin to go buy a car, you know, a$5 ,000 car, pay this one off. And at least that takes your loan from$34 ,000 to$16 ,000. You know what I mean? That feels better. How much do you guys make a year?

1:43:15Together,$275 ,000. Oh, fantastic. So either way, you could get rid of all this debt.

1:43:20Rachel Cruze:Yeah, you may not even have to get, I mean, you could get rid of the car, but the car's not killing you. I mean, you guys could just pay it off if you want it and not go through the trouble of... Our parameter is if you can pay off the car in under two years and you love the car and it's less than 50 % of your total income as far as all your cars are concerned, then you can keep it. Okay. But the fact that you're wanting to sell it tells me there's another piece to this. Yeah, I think it's just following the debt snowball method. You do paying off the lowest debt. Like would it be reasonable to basically reprioritize the car so we can pay it off within two years?

1:43:56I wouldn't reprioritize it. I would still put it where it falls in the debt snowball. Because the truth is, your income is the winning piece here.

1:44:05Rachel Cruze:You don't think you can pay this car off in two years, Alex, with all the rest of your debt? No, I don't think so. Okay. What are you guys taking home every month?

1:44:17Oh, boy. I want to say$13 ,000. So we're, yeah, we also have six kids. The van, no surprise, it's a minivan. The car is a minivan. Okay. Yeah, I would consider keeping it and just going, how can we be more aggressive in other areas? Because you've still got to come up with a difference. And so that's still going to be a hurdle.

1:44:41Rachel Cruze:Yeah, what are the debts before the car? Personal loans or credit cards or what are they? Credit card, credit card, personal loan. We have legal debt. We have a student loan. And then we have medical debt. And then we actually have a substantial tax bill. And the car is the largest piece. Oh, okay. I would put the tax bill at the top. We always prioritize the IRS before anybody else because they can destroy your life, garnish your wages. So I would attack that first and then do the debt snowball traditionally. But I'm just wondering, if you guys bring in 13, could you live off of, let's say, five or six and throw the rest of the debt?

1:45:26Yeah, I want to say yes. I think that's, I'm sure we probably could figure something out.

1:45:32Rachel Cruze:Have you guys done a budget, a pretty detailed budget for the month? Yeah, we just started it. I think we're on like our second week of doing it. Okay, okay. Nice. That's great. I'm just doing napkin math and I'm going, okay, if we throw$8 ,000 at this debt, it's gone in 13 months, just over a year. Sure. But that means we have to learn how to live off five for our household bills. For one year. Can we do that? And it's going to be... It's going to be tight. Shopping a lot of Aldi, beans and rice, rice and beans. PB &Js all around for the kids. Yeah, it's not going to be fancy dinners, but we're going to make it through and save on the grocery bill with six kids.

1:46:09Rachel Cruze:That's probably where a lot of your money's being eaten. I mean, man. We're shopping in bulk. I'm sure you guys already have to be strategic with the food, but that I feel like is the biggest area to save too. Yeah, but if you have this much debt making$2.75, they may not be that strategic with it. They may just be enjoying it. I don't know. I don't know. So yeah, places that you can cut things, you can sell. Eating out for a family of eight? That's like 200 bucks anywhere you go. I'm on your Chick-fil-A bill. In and of itself is expensive. I can't imagine.

1:46:50I can't imagine.

1:46:51Rachel Cruze:Hey guys, Rachel Cruz here with big news. The 2027 Ramsey Goal Planner is here, and you can get it at our lowest price for a limited time. Guys, this isn't just another calendar. It's the only planner with exclusive monthly content from John Deloney, Jade Warshaw, and me to help you set clear goals and actually stick to them all year. So don't wait. Order yours by August 23rd to get our lowest price, just$35.97. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash store to get the deal. That's RamseySolutions.com slash store.

1:47:39Rachel Cruze:Up next, we have Mary in Dallas, Texas. Hi, Mary. Welcome to the show. Hi, George. Hi, Rachel. I just wanted to add that I actually grew up listening to Dave Ramsey. So I have low-key resentment for all the Ramsey kids because my parents would listen to something Dave did to his teenagers. And guess what I then had to do with my teenagers? I'm so sorry, Mary. My therapy bill is so large, so yours probably won't be too. No, I'm just kidding. No, it's great. So sorry. My parents, no, my parents for my graduation present gave me Dave's book, The Whole Money Makeover. And I read it right after I graduated.

1:48:21And I remember rolling my eyes and being like, this is the stupidest book. Everybody knows this. I don't understand why somebody makes a whole much money by writing the obvious. And then, of course, by the time I made it through my freshman year, I was like, oh.

1:48:34Rachel Cruze:Oh, wow. This is so funny. Oh, my gosh. That's so funny. Yeah. It was the foundation of my marriage, right? Like when I started dating and we like talked about Dave Ramsey and I fell in love with him because he like already had a retirement account. So Dave would be proud. That's hot. That Roth IRA. Fully funded Roth IRA, ladies. That Roth IRA, man, really. The first thing he introduced me to is like, do you have a retirement account? I was like, 18. And I was like, who is this one? He's the one. That's what I knew. Oh, my gosh. So funny. I love it. That is so good. So good. So my question is for you.

1:49:13We've been raising the Dave Ramsey. And we kind of use our own language over the 18 years. But like we're in like three, four, is it three, four and five? Right. We're like supposed to be paying off our house that we bought four years ago in seven years. Like we're doing really well. But one of the things my question for you is how do you go about knowing how much money to put towards a dream? And that is kind of my question for you.

1:49:39Rachel Cruze:So you can ask me our finances and you can ask about the dream and how much money it wants. Like what what would you like to hear? OK. So you're debt-free with an emergency fund, and you have a dream to do what? Correct. So I just finished writing my fourth novel. Wow. And the third novel, thank you, the third novel I wrote, I spent the last year and a half trying to find representation. So editing, writing, sending it through some things, rewriting. And, I mean, you guys have all published books. You know the industry is really difficult. hold. And so like I sent it to one agent that like she's asking for a book.

1:50:16It sounded like my book was exactly right. She was open for a week and she posted later that she got like 800 submissions, right. In the span of a week. So I know this is a really hard process to go through, especially from the blind. So I'm not like thinking it's going to be magical and amazing and using your method of like getting yourself out there and meeting these agents. Right. it just takes money and I as a stay-at-home mom who's like really conscious with our money I'm having a really hard time putting money towards a dream I can't prove it's going to be worth it but my husband is incredibly supportive like we literally were just in the car having this conversation where he was like Dave says if you had if we had five thousand dollars and it burned would it be okay right he's not wrong yeah but like my heart is well my heart is dying like with $5 ,000, I could make a beach trip, right?

1:51:08It seems really selfish to put it towards myself. So that's kind of how I was like, how do you go without thinking about how to do a dream and also not throwing money at a dream and it being a stinking fund, if that makes sense. You're very wise. And I always remind myself this, there are guys that spend way more golfing that are terrible at it and make no money doing it. So just, if that makes you feel better with your hobby, that's a good way to think about it. Have you published a novel yet? or are they all just sitting there? No. So they're all just sitting there. So I'm not in like a huge hurry, right?

1:51:42I know like if it's not this novel, it might be the next one. That's how a lot of authors work. But why haven't you published any? Well, you mean like self-publish? Is that what you mean? Yeah.

1:51:54Rachel Cruze:Yeah, it's on Amazon. They'll do like the print per order. So I have looked into self-publishing. Yeah. So one of the things is it would take, it takes quite a bit of money And then it takes a lot of like going out and using social media and paying for that to get advertisements and like going and doing stuff, which again, from my research, I haven't seen that a lot of people actually make it that way. And so, again, that's kind of the thing where I'm like, I don't know if that seems worth it. I've seen numbers as well with$20 ,000 to get out there up to 50. One of the things that I was looking for towards that my husband was talking about me doing is like you can go to these conferences and meet agents face to face or like go through these classes where they go through your novel.

1:52:39And at the end of it, you meet these agents. So it would be getting to be face to face. But again, they're anywhere from like five hundred dollars to what are you paying for? And there's no Greer. It feels like a scam. What are you paying money for? in this regard. Yeah, don't buy like a$10 ,000 publishing package where you might get to meet. Exactly. I would say the agent is not your problem. Think about it like a musician. I know independent musicians who are not on a label who crush it and they own everything they do without giving up their soul. And I just don't want you to think that a publisher or an agent is your ticket because they might write you a check for 20 grand one time and they never recoup the costs and you never make a dime and nobody reads the book.

1:53:20So I'd rather you out there hustling, getting in, in rooms and social spaces where people are reading those types of books, create a following online and then you make it.

1:53:30Rachel Cruze:Yes. And then either you can choose to keep going or if you have evidence of books that have been sold, that is more enticing to a publisher than someone who hasn't done, you know what I mean? Had anything sold. Yeah. They're looking to see, can we sell these books and if you're an unknown author with no social following that's going to be a tough time so i would spend my time building a social following and getting in spaces where people are interested in these types of books and trying to network as much as i can okay without paying a dime to one yeah who won who has done that and she did tell me that she has ended up spending like ten thousand dollars like from like things like going to conferences to get in there like printing them herself so she can sell them to bookstores.

1:54:16That's a better use of your time, buddy. I think that's, yes. But I wouldn't just like buy some package that's supposed to get you in the right rooms. No. Go to the conferences, sure. Pay to do that. Pay to self-publish the book. But at some point you got to build a following of people that want to read your books.

1:54:31Rachel Cruze:Because there's almost 4 million books that are published a year. Totally. And I know you know this industry probably in and out because you've been loving it. It's been your hobby. Um, so it, it, it is. Do you have any advice on like, should you like put a number on it and you're like, you go here and then you don't go beyond it or you just go like, here, try this. Yeah, I think that's a good way to do it. How much do you guys make a year? We make about 175. 175. Okay. And you guys are. And I should say, I'm also with a homeschool mom. So I like do homeschool. So like, again, these conferences that we can totally do, do you add, there are other things that are part of the equation as well.

1:55:14But I can do this on the other side of homeschooling too, right? There's no like time limit on this. But again, my husband's like, feel free to spend money. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't see that it's like proved that it'll actually work. Well, you're not looking for a direct ROI. If I put a dollar in, I get$2 out. What I would do is set goals for here's what I want to do this year. I want to go to two conferences. I want to do i want to print 100 books and then you guys decide 30 social reels yeah and do all the

1:55:41Rachel Cruze:hashtags of book you know what i mean like the type of novel it is and start yeah have some goals yeah that you're shooting for but i think the truth is it's just a lot of work on things that don't cost money which is creating content on your own around the the contents of the book which that won't cost you money it costs you time but there's no way to leapfrog that and just say well, if I just put$10 ,000 in this vending machine, I'll sell a thousand books. Yeah. But if you know that money is going towards conferences that you should be at, you know, whatever, plane tickets to get there, you know, whatever that looks like for you and that you and your husband are feel good with, okay, if we put this money out, you know, you're, I mean, you're kind of, it's a little bit of a gamble, but you know what I mean?

1:56:23Rachel Cruze:Like what else are you going to do? Like you guys have done well financially. You're not talking about taking out a hundred thousand dollar small business loan to get something started you're moving at the speed of cash grassroots and just keep re-evaluating so yeah be okay spending you know five ten grand if you guys are good with that um and just say okay we're let's see where this gets me and then let's talk you know um march of 2020 you know march of 27 it's kind of our next pillar right have some timelines here's what i want to be that's right and just start mapping it out. But I think you'll naturally get weary over time if something isn't happening and you're like, okay, I am throwing money at this thing and it's not happening.

1:57:04Rachel Cruze:But put some out there. You guys have the cash for it. And yeah, try to make the dream happen, which is always fun. Exciting. As a fellow reader, Rachel might read it. Send her a DM with the book. Love a good novel.

1:57:26you

1:57:29Rachel Cruze:Hey guys, Rachel Cruze here, and I love summer. There is more fun on the calendar, more time with your people, and way more chances to make memories. But you know what else there's more of? Spending. Oh, between the extra groceries and gas and camp fees and family trips, it all starts to add up so fast. And before you know it, money stress starts to steal the fun out of everything. And that is why I love the EveryDollar Budget app, because it helps you plan your money, track your spending, and find more margin in your budget so that you can put extra cash towards the goals that matter most. Enjoy your summer without the money stress.

1:58:09Rachel Cruze:Download the EveryDollar app in the App Store or Google Play and start for free today.

1:58:32Rachel Cruze:Our scripture of the day comes from Jeremiah 1.19. They will fight against you, but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the Lord. Elon Musk said the first step is to establish that something is possible and then probability will occur. Probably will. All right. Yeah. It's a very Elon quote. Yeah. I saw probability. Probability. Is that a tough word? I don't know. It just feels like something Elon would say. I can hear him saying it. The probability of this situation. I don't know. I feel like you just like are, you love math. Yeah. That word is used a lot. Oh, man.

1:59:16Rachel Cruze:All right. Let's go to Kate in Indianapolis. Hi, Kate. Welcome to the show. Hi, Rachel. Hi, George. Thank you for having me on the show. Yes, absolutely. How can we help today? So I just found out that my husband gambled$121 ,000 in daily trading. Oh, no. So sorry. And yes, these were the money we had from our previous townhome that we sold. And we're in the process of buying a new home that we paid$50 ,000 deposit. It's a non-refundable deposit. So we need to process with this purchase of the new home. So you already paid the 50 grand. It's locked into that new house. And now you don't have the funds to put down on top of that.

2:00:05Rachel Cruze:Correct. Oh, my goodness. Okay. How did you find out? Yeah, what happened? Well, I kind of, like, I saw, like, the money were not there. He was telling me he invested in stocks and crypto, and I kept asking him to show me the money, and he's like, everything's fine. The money is safe. I'm like, why did you take the – because we had a deal to put 20 % down for the new house, and the rest of the money he would invest in stocks and cryptocurrency. Yes, so he lost it. And so he lied about that. He was actually day trading? He did. He did lie about that. And it's not the first time we lost money in the past.

2:00:51Not this amount of money, but yes, here we at. So he has a gambling addiction. Has he been seeking out any help for this? He never see it like that. Or is he unaware? Does he think he doesn't have a problem? He thinks he doesn't have a problem. He thinks he invests, but he failed at investing. How old is he?

2:01:11Rachel Cruze:Yes, he is 43, and I'm 40. We have two kids. How long have you guys been married? Well, it's been 17 years now. Okay. Do you work outside the home? Yes, I work full-time. Yeah, we bring home together like$240 a year before tax. What do you make on your own? About$90 to$100. Okay. And what is he saying this next step is going to be? Because he knows that there's a house on the line. He's saying he'll take care of the payments. He says he's going to pay for kids' activities. And our kids go to private schools, so obviously we need to switch them to public schools. And he says he's going to take care of everything.

2:02:01And I sat down and I showed him, like, financially he cannot take care of everything. Does he still have access to all of your money?

2:02:13No, not to what I make, no. So you've separated accounts, or has it always been separate? Yes, we separated a while back, but sometimes he wouldn't be on time with payments, so I would have to cover what he couldn't cover. How much debt do you guys have? Well, he has personal debt, like$20 ,000 in my credit cards and also in business loans, like$127 ,000. I don't have any personal debt. Are you sure that's all the debt he has? Because what I would do is pull credit reports for both of you from all three bureaus to make sure. That's what he told me. I'm not going off of what he tells you anymore.

2:02:58I know. So tonight you're going to pull all three reports from all three bureaus, both of you. Okay. Because you need a full picture of the damage here because I think if he's lying about this, there's other debt. And we need a clear picture if we're going to move forward at all. Because I don't know how you're going to afford this house now because the rest is going to have to be on a mortgage. And he's saying I'll handle it? Correctly, yes. What's the house cost? It's$550. So you're talking about taking on a half million dollar mortgage? Yes, correct. Okay. And he's totally fine with doing that and that you guys will qualify based on your income?

2:03:35Yes. Oh, boy, this scares me. I mean, there's so much more than that. The house is the least of your problems at this point. Okay. You have someone who is a gambling addict, a pathological liar who's committed tons of financial infidelity while you have two young kids at home. I understand. So if we don't solve that problem, the house isn't going to fix anything. even if we solve that one. Well, how do we solve this problem if he doesn't see it as an addiction? You're going to need to reveal that to him, and it might take other people to reveal that to him. I don't know that you can convince him.

2:04:12Rachel Cruze:Yeah, I think you guys, I mean, regardless of whether he admits it or not, I think you guys need marriage counseling ASAP. We had a session, and he didn't like it, and he said he doesn't want to do it anymore.

2:04:28well i think he's telling you something then kate i know and that's a really um he's sad reality he's choosing his gambling addiction over his family at this point he's opting out of the

2:04:42Rachel Cruze:yeah dr john john deloney always talks about how your actions are basically the words you're not saying and if he's not willing to fight for this marriage, Kate, that puts a hard strain on decisions in the future probably. I probably would not go through with buying a house with him right now. Because you already told me that he has not been consistent on payments. So what happens when you guys have a bigger mortgage payment and he doesn't have the money because he gambled it all away that much? And Kate, from a marriage perspective, he's telling you he doesn't want to work on your marriage. I know.

2:05:17I know. He's convincing me that I don't, like, I see it

2:05:21Rachel Cruze:differently. No, you're not the crazy one, Kate. The kids call that gaslighting these days. That's right. Yes. He lost$121 ,000 by quote unquote day trading. Yeah. Before that, he lost like$50 ,000. That's right. Before that, he lost like there's like 10, 10. Yeah. So there's, um, and again, I'm always so cautious when we get to this point in a conversation with a call, cause we have about three more minutes with you and then you have to go make these decisions about your life, Kate. But I mean, there's some ultimatums that, I mean, if you wouldn't put up with this, if it was drugs, right. That, well, he, you know, this and this, or you put something else in the money slots, the gambling slots.

2:06:07Rachel Cruze:And that's how I see it. And it should be how you feel. And I'm so sorry. And so I think for you, Kay, I would go find a great therapist because I think you're going to need some language and some identity work to be able to stand really strong for you and your kids. and then he's going to have to make some decisions based on what you need because he's the one that broke the trust, not you. He broke the trust. And so there's going to be some things that he's going to have to do to repair that trust for this marriage to move forward. Yeah, you can't force him into recovery, but what you can do is put up some very clear boundaries that you're going to separate your money so that he can't do damage to your family any longer and that if he wants this to continue, then he's going to need to see a gambling addiction specialist who can assess him.

2:06:59Yeah, that's how I see it. Do we process? We have to go buy this house because there's no way back. Do we buy it and sell it? I would talk to the lender and see what your options are and see what the contract you signed says, see if there's a way to get out of it.

2:07:17Rachel Cruze:And you may have to forfeit a penalty or something, but I wonder if there is a way for you to get out because I would not put my name on a house with him right now. I think your marriage is on the rocks. And even if you lost that deposit of 50K, he's done more stupid tax in the last year than that 50K deposit you'd lose. And he'll continue to do it if we don't put an end to this. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, the behavior is not changing on his end and he doesn't care to change it is what it sounds like. He'll make 50K in the next three months. So we can rebuild that. But what we need to do is focus on his inability to lead this family well and not destroy them.

2:07:49Rachel Cruze:I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, but I would, I would find a great counselor in your area and have them walk with you through this process. But, oh, I'm so sorry. Well, thanks for a great show, George. Thanks to everyone in the booth. And remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that is to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.