Lose the Ego, Win With Money

11:08Dave Ramsey:The plumber's going to put a lien on Sarah's house, and it's January, six months overdue. So this is a sweet person who's not very smart.

11:18Rachel Cruze:Yes. How long has she been your tenant? A little over two years. Okay. And, I mean, I've never had any issues with her. Yeah.

11:26Dave Ramsey:Yeah. How much is the rent?

11:30Rachel Cruze:It's$12.50 a month. And how much do you have in deposit? One month's rent.

11:36Dave Ramsey:Okay.

11:36Rachel Cruze:And how much is the bill?

11:38Dave Ramsey:$6.50. Yeah. I'm going to pay it because you're going to have a problem if you don't. but I'm also going to have a sit down with the tenant probably in person and really clearly explain because this lady's not bright and you're going to have to be real clear. You don't have to be mean but you need to be blunt.

12:01Rachel Cruze:Okay.

12:01Dave Ramsey:Like this is$650 that I would not have had to pay if you had picked up the phone and called me. Don't you ever do this again. If you do, you won't be living here. That kind of clear. Oh, that's exactly how your husband would handle it, because that's how I trained him, Rachel.

12:18Rachel Cruze:Well, I know. Let me.

12:20Dave Ramsey:So, I mean, he's handling my rental property right now. So if somebody does something, because you need to be clear, because this is a dumb butt thing. You do, but she. Who does this?

12:28Rachel Cruze:She may not know. I don't know.

12:30Dave Ramsey:She's not bright. So you're going to have to tell her real clear, because she's not going to get it otherwise. And, you know, Sarah, you're probably not going to be as nasty as I am, but I want you to be very clear. Yes. I'm not trying to be mean. Being clear is kind.

12:43Rachel Cruze:Right.

12:43Dave Ramsey:I'm not trying to be mean, but I do want this. I want it to activate a little bit of emotion in the tenant so that they don't do it again. Yes. And then you need to pay the bill to me because I'm going to go ahead and pay it. And if you don't, I'm considering an additional rent. And if you don't, we're going to have another problem. So you need to get me paid. Now, how can you get me paid back? You want to pay half of it a month until for the next two months on top of your rent? I'll work with you on that. I'll try to help you. but but listen my husband usually does these repairs and it wouldn't cost us 650 would cost me 14 in parts from home depot and my husband sweat and that's what that's the way we do it don't and so next time you have a problem you do you're not bothering me this bothers me that won't bother me so you know and just you can be go and i know you meant well that's fine that's all good but we need to draw a line and go this doesn't happen again because i'm not worried about this bill because worst case she never pays it you take it out of her deposit when she leaves right right you're not going you're not gonna be out of pocket but um but i i i i'm trying to keep it from having that again because what's the next one she has a septic tank replaced at six thousand dollars i mean my god what does it where's this woman this is like you know that people do stuff i'm telling you so yeah this is welcome to landlording yeah i would but you want to be very very clear you're in Georgia I'm in Tennessee I learned with team members many years ago that I was trying to be nice southern passive aggressive sweet tea and in the name of all of that I wasn't being clear and I was getting frustrated and they didn't know because I was being so indirect and working around the edges.

14:31Dave Ramsey:And now we have a saying around Ramsey when it comes to communicating internally, to be unclear is to be unkind. So you want to be kind to her by being very clear with her. Because if this comes up again, it's going to be a real problem, isn't it, Sarah?

14:45Rachel Cruze:Absolutely. I mean, it's very aggravating to get a call like that. Sarah's pissed. She'll have some piss and vinegar in it. I can hear it from you, Sarah.

14:53Dave Ramsey:Okay. I'm just giving you permission as a fellow landlord to be very clear. You don't have to be mean. That's not what I'm saying. But that's not what we're saying. But we are saying it's more mean for this lady to not get the message. She needs to get the mail. She needs to open the email, read it. It's only it's not an email. It's in person. And then I would follow it up with an email or a letter. You know, this has happened. And we understand this time. But this is not to happen again. All future repairs need to be cleared with us before they are done.

15:26Rachel Cruze:And then if you wrote the email, the next paragraph, like, Or I'm kicking you out. I'm evicting you. That's what you said, your first response.

15:35Dave Ramsey:I'm so, man, I got just, this is. I know, you don't have a lot of patience. No, it just, it doesn't.

15:41Rachel Cruze:I hear you, though, I hear you.

15:42Dave Ramsey:Yeah, you need to understand there's consequences. This is not how we're going to do this deal. Yeah, that's right. And we're not going to operate this way. Rochester, New York, Jeff's on the phone. Hey, Jeff, what's up?

15:57Rachel Cruze:Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure.

15:59Dave Ramsey:How can I help?

16:01Rachel Cruze:So I recently stumbled across your show. I've watched your baby steps explained a couple of times, and it's got me on fire to really nail down my finances. So I'm on baby step two. I've got a few loans to pay off, and I've got some savings. I'm thinking of taking those savings and wiping out those debts and moving on to baby step three.

16:23Dave Ramsey:Awesome.

16:24Rachel Cruze:But my dad and my mother-in-law, both independently, suggested that I put the money towards my mortgage instead. I'm confused. You're married.

16:36Dave Ramsey:I'm missing. Do you work for them?

16:40Rachel Cruze:No, I went to them for counsel. Why? I just wanted to get their advice.

16:44Dave Ramsey:Oh, okay. So you ask them to vote on this. Okay. Yes. Well, I mean, you've got to decide what you think is wise, what they said or what we say. Okay. I think their advice is stupid. I think they mean well, but it's dumb. Okay. We have led more people out of debt into millionaire net worth than any other organization operating in America today. And neither one of them work for me. Right. Right. So, I mean, it's this process works. In other words, it's a proven process. If you follow it all the way through.

17:26Rachel Cruze:And you follow it in order, too. That's another thing is some people go out of order and all of it and you're not going to see the progress as quickly.

17:32Dave Ramsey:Yeah.

17:33Rachel Cruze:Jeff, if you paid off all of your debt today, how much of your income would you save per month that would not be going out in payments? About five hundred dollars a month. OK.

17:43Dave Ramsey:OK. And how much is your debt total?

17:47Rachel Cruze:$12 ,500.

17:48Dave Ramsey:Okay. All right. And so if you put$1 ,000 away, you're going to put$12 ,000 back in one year. Agreed? How much can you put on your baby step three if you don't have any debt to build your emergency fund back up because you're using your savings to clear your debt? How much a month can you put back into savings with no debt payments?

18:14Rachel Cruze:i'm thinking right around a thousand dollars a month okay yeah i want you to crank that up to

18:19Dave Ramsey:about 1500 and um you know get on beans and rice rice and beans and let's get that emergency fund rebuilt i need that for your sake i want you to have what's your household income about 75k okay cool yeah i want you to have 20 grand set aside for emergencies grandma's rainy day fund and how much have you got in there today in savings right now i've got about 22 and a half perfect okay so you're going to take it down to 10 by writing a check for 12 and a half correct that's right yep and then you got to raise it back up to 20 and if you do that 1500 a month you're done in like seven months and that that would be my plan if i'm you amen and then get on through and let's get the investing going and start paying off the house and maybe steps four

19:03Rachel Cruze:five and six but um get that consumer debt cleared out jeff from a mathematical and an emotional

19:09Dave Ramsey:standpoint when you have no payments it frees you up yeah now the one vote that does count is your wife's and so the two of you need to be in agreement on that before you move forward but that's what we would tell both of you to do so and again your parents mean well but their plan's dumb

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21:01Dave Ramsey:If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck and feeling like you can't get ahead, join one of our free every dollar trainings. There are new trainings every week this month, and they're all hosted by one of the Ramsey personalities. When are you doing the next one?

21:16Rachel Cruze:Mine is in two weeks, I think, or next week. Yeah, but we're doing two or three a month, each of us.

21:22Dave Ramsey:You and George and Jade, that's where you find them. Yeah, they're going to show you how to stick to a budget, and on average folks are finding$9 ,560 a margin using this EveryDollar app and it shows you not only how to budget but how to work the whole system. So you can get out of debt, start building wealth, and you can ask questions during the live Q &A, which is easier than getting in on this show, which is hard. So sign up for free at RamseySolutions.com slash webinar. Harrison is in Atlanta. Hey, Harrison, what's up? Dave, how are you? Better than I deserve, man. How can I help? Amazing.

21:57Dave Ramsey:So Dave, I'm trying to figure out my next move.

22:00Rachel Cruze:I have$34 ,000 in student loans on one loan, another$12 ,000 on another student loan, and then a$17 ,000 car loan. And I'm, you know, getting help. I'm also at the same time getting help with a down payment, and I was just hoping to buy a house soon. um so but the thing is i'm worried about you know all the costs that come with ownership you know and with my debt um and so i just want to ask you should i hit pause on buying and focus on paying off this debt first um and keep renting with my high rent rental um in atlanta um and if

22:34Dave Ramsey:so you know how should i attack this debt and you know what you know should be my force towards that so you're single yes sir you're 24

22:45Rachel Cruze:26.

22:46Dave Ramsey:Pretty close. Okay. Good guess. All right. What do you make? I make 130 ,000 a year. Cool. What do you do? Medical device sales. Good for you. Good career. Nice. Well done. All right. Cool. So you don't have to talk anybody into this but you. Okay. And I think you already kind of, So you've got, let me tell you what I think I heard coming out of your mouth, and you tell me if I was right. Yes, sir. I may be wrong, okay, because I may have missed it. But I think I heard a lot of people in your life going, buy a house, buy a house, buy a house, buy a house. Everybody's got to buy a house, buy a house, buy a house.

23:27Dave Ramsey:Crap, man, you make$130 ,000. Buy a house, buy a house, buy a house.

23:29Rachel Cruze:You're wasting money on rent.

23:31Dave Ramsey:You're throwing that money down a rat hole. Buy a house, buy a house. And then I think you're a fairly analytical dude, and you're a very detailed person, and you started going, yeah but if I take on all those expenses and I've got all this this that doesn't feel right to you correct did I read your mail or not no I think that's 100 % right you know I've just heard about

23:55Rachel Cruze:you know horror stories of someone buying a house you know at this age and you know you have to replace a roof water heater you know whatever it might be and that kind of worries me with the debt that I'm currently in.

24:06Dave Ramsey:We have found that home ownership is a key to building wealth. It's one of the two things that causes people to get their first one to five million dollars of net worth. So it's very important. So we're big on you getting a house. However, when you're broke, like you are, and you buy a house, it will make you broker. That's why they call them brokers. And so, yeah, it's a mess. And, you know, you've got to have an extra bedroom for Sally Mae. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah, so if I'm you, I'm cleaning up the debt. And the good news is$63 ,000, you make$130 ,000. If you don't have a life for a year, you could be debt-free.

24:51Rachel Cruze:Yeah.

24:52Dave Ramsey:Now, that's going to be really hard. You're single in Atlanta making bank. But I just put you in jail, okay? I put you in the apartment jail. You can't do nothing. You're not allowed to go out to eat. All you do is work and pay debt.

25:05Rachel Cruze:You know what would make you sick, Harrison, considering how analytical you are? If you go to RamseySolutions.com and pull up our investment calculator and just put in the amount of money you're paying towards your student loans and your car loan every month. And instead, if you had invested that at 26 to 65, I bet it'll be over$3 million. It'll be five. if you are paying yourself versus paying someone else. So that's the mindset you have to have, that you're paying other people your income where you could be paying yourself that income for a down payment and or even investing long-term. So have your income work for you, not other people.

25:41Rachel Cruze:So that's why getting out of debt is the smartest thing to do, especially before buying a house, because you're exactly right. Homeownership is very expensive. And if you don't have savings, you have debt, you end up creating more of a stressful situation because there's no margin. And so paying off the consumer debt first and foremost, getting some money saved in an emergency fund, and then saving for that down payment.

26:03Dave Ramsey:Then the house is a blessing rather than a curse. When you move in broke, the house can be a curse.

26:08Rachel Cruze:That makes total sense. And I guess my follow-up question to that is, I do have a pretty solid, I mean, for my age, a solid little fund going on. Oh, good. How much is in it? So I have around$35 ,000 in that. Awesome. And so my problem with it is I don't know which to pay off first. I'd pay off the$12 ,000 student loan and the$17 ,000 car.

26:32Dave Ramsey:Okay. Your two smallest debts. And then you're going to attack that other debt with a vengeance. Oh, crap. Now you're out of debt in like four months, man. Okay. You're going to be out of debt in no time.

26:44Rachel Cruze:You think I should just use the full emergency fund? Oh, down to$1 ,000.

26:48Dave Ramsey:I'm going to send you a copy of the book, The Total Money Makeover. It's going to teach you the baby steps on steroids, okay? And the baby steps are$1 ,000 saved is baby step one. Two is pay off all your debts except your home, smallest to largest in that order, only keeping$1 ,000 of non-retirement income. We don't cash out retirement, but everything else goes on the debt. We clear the debt because, as Rachel said, your most powerful wealth-building tool is your income, and that investment calculator will make you puke if you don't do this. And so go do it. And so knock this stuff out like your hair was on fire.

27:18Dave Ramsey:Be prepared for family and friends to think you've lost your mind. Okay. Broke people will make fun of your wealth building plan. Okay. Count on it. Count on it. Because an interesting thing, one of the things we studied when we studied 10 ,000 millionaires, one of the things they attribute to becoming a millionaire is they quit caring what other people thought. That makes sense. That's definitely a problem of mine right now. It's a problem with me. It's a problem with every human that breathes. We all want affirmation. We all want to be liked. We all want people to think we're brilliant. But when broke people are making fun of your financial plan, it's like fat people making fun of your diet.

27:59Dave Ramsey:Okay? I mean, come on. So you just got to think about it. That's how we get at it. So Rachel's exactly right. You get that debt paid off, build up that emergency fund, then save up a down payment. Dude, you're going to be there in two years.

28:12Rachel Cruze:It's going to be quick.

28:13Dave Ramsey:You're going to be sitting in a nice home in two years making. By then, 160, because you're on an arc with this career of yours, it's not going to get inflation raises. You're going to see 10%, 20%, 30 % hits on this thing. So you're going to do great, man.

28:27Rachel Cruze:But I like how self-aware you are, Harrison. Oh, it's very good. Well, because he said, I do care. But he says, I care about what people think. So it's a good notion to remember the ego hates this plan. The ego wants to say, I'm making$130 ,000 a year and I'm 26 years old. Look at the restaurants I can go to, go out with my friends, the car I drive, where I live. Because he even mentioned it's an expensive rent where he is in Atlanta. Like, right? Like every part of your lifestyle gets shut down. And so much of what we equate our success and who we are and what makes us feel good and inflates that ego in us is this.

29:05Rachel Cruze:That's a good line. And so when you stop that, thank you. What did you say? I said that's a good line. Yeah, thank you. I'll take that compliment. Thanks, Dave.

29:12Dave Ramsey:Ego hates this plan. It does. It does.

29:15Rachel Cruze:So Harrison, yeah. So be on guard of that where your emotions are going to kind of spike in that, that you're not going to want this. But I'm telling you, it is going to be, it's going to release you from a lot. Because like you said, though, when you don't care what people think.

29:30Dave Ramsey:When you're doing busting through change, change is frustrating. Yes. Learning by its nature is frustrating because you're doing and taking in things you didn't know before. and there's a level of angst that goes with that and it's real easy to get an entitlement mentality and act like a four-year-old on the cereal aisle and have a meltdown because i can't get fruit loops yeah right it's like i deserve this i work so hard and you know but you're 56 and you sound like you're four you know it's like i work so hard like we all don't work hard i mean give me a break that's just whining called the wambulance but you're you're exactly right that that's a that's good.

30:07Dave Ramsey:That's very good. You're going to do this. I can tell, man. Hang on. We're going to send you a copy of Total Money Makeover. Make sure you get in gear and you call us back and tell us when you're debt-free. You can do your debt-free scream right here, man.

30:17Rachel Cruze:That's awesome, Harrison. Good luck.

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32:27Dave Ramsey:thanks for joining us america cody's in wisconsin hey cody what's up how are you thank you for taking my call sure how can we help a quick question make a long story

32:38Rachel Cruze:short. About a year ago, my mother passed away due to cancer. I have two sisters, older sisters, and me and my middle sister, we knew that the oldest sister was going to be left out of the will. My oldest sister, unfortunately, kind of stepped away from the family. And the day of the services, my oldest sister found out from a will that she had located that she would not be receiving any inheritance. Needless to say, things have been tough with the family. We haven't spoke for a while. I'm feeling guilt that maybe some of my inheritance to bring the family back together, I should give that up.

33:23Rachel Cruze:And I'm not talking a significant amount of money. It's probably $50 ,000,$60 ,000 worth of liquid funds and maybe$100 ,000 of investments were my share. You know, very significant, something that my family couldn't use and benefit from. But I just wanted to kind of get an outside perspective on what your thoughts might be for this situation.

33:44Dave Ramsey:Wow. That's painful. I'm sorry. Well, your mother should have handled this when she was alive.

33:53Rachel Cruze:And I had that conversation, and I begged her to please put a letter in writing so that she understands why. But things happened faster than we anticipated, and that letter was never written.

34:05Dave Ramsey:But she had not spoken to your older sister, not spoken to your mom in several years, apparently.

34:11Rachel Cruze:It was a while, and she was in. Well, how long was a while?

34:17Rachel Cruze:They small talked, but she would never help out with any doctor's appointments, medical issues, problems. and there was certainly some problems that they had between the two of them that they never sat down and talked. But she had probably been away from the family for maybe 10 years. Cody, what was your mom's reason to keep her out? Because there just wasn't a relationship there? Correct. Yeah, there wasn't a relationship. My father passed away from a stroke. We kind of got back together. The family was on terms. my sister moved into my mother's house in the wintertime as my mother snowboarded into, down to Texas.

35:04Rachel Cruze:Once my sister realized that the house wasn't going to be given to her because my mom needed to move somewhere smaller. And then we, she wasn't involved again for numerous years until my mom passed. So I understand the olive branch you're wanting to extend, but I'm going to be honest that it feels like she's coming back into the family, not out of a relational desire, she has to be paid to get back into the family, right? Like that feels weird to me. And I agree. It's just something I don't necessarily want to admit to, but that's certainly something on the back of my mind.

35:37Dave Ramsey:Yeah.

35:38Rachel Cruze:Yeah, because if I'm hurt and I want a relationship with my siblings, then you call up and have a relationship.

35:45Dave Ramsey:Yeah, to be motivated by money is off to me. I mean, this is a fairly cut and dry deal. You didn't do this. Your mom did this. So if your sister wants to be angry with someone, it would be with your mom. And so how can I can't reconcile someone else's issues? I can only reconcile my issues. So if I have offended someone, I can go to them if I want to and reach out an olive branch. But I can't reach out an olive branch on behalf of someone else. And that's that doesn't that's not how this that's not how relationships work. and so you can't make her okay you can't make your older sister not be mad at your mom right no matter what you do because it's not your place i mean you don't you're not in that position only your mom could have done that only that they're the only ones that could have reconciled while your mom was still here it's so sad but it is and i don't think any amount of

36:44Rachel Cruze:money too is going to make her happy no i mean it sounds like it's this lady's not your oldest sister's just not a happy person either right am i right or is that am i overstating that

36:57Dave Ramsey:no i don't think so okay all right so i think it's so um so i would go to her and say i would

37:04Rachel Cruze:love a relationship with you like i like you're right if yours is i'd be happy to have coffee

37:09Dave Ramsey:with her and say i completely understand that you're pissed at mom for cutting you out I completely understand that And I'm sorry that that happened And it wasn't because of me I didn't tell her to As a matter of fact, quite the opposite I told her to write you a letter I told her to tell you what she was doing And she didn't do it Because it's hurtful And I'm so sorry for that And I just leave it at that I mean, you can say the truth The truth is, you know It's awkward, it makes you feel bad But you didn't cause it So no, I'm not writing anybody checks in this.

37:44Rachel Cruze:No. The spirit, you know, emotionally.

37:47Dave Ramsey:Yeah.

37:48Rachel Cruze:You know, even spiritually, you don't think that there's a reason or there is a...

37:53Dave Ramsey:No. Inheritance is not an entitlement. You're not entitled to money just because you hit the DNA lottery. And so, you know, any of you have a, you know, if your parents have money, any of you out there, you are not entitled to their money morally spiritually ethically they can do with it what they want to do with it it's called their money they don't have to leave it to anyone the only thing i tell people all the time is if you're going to piss somebody off in the wheel have the courage to do it while you're alive and that way they don't leave people like you in this yeah yeah and so cody again just to reiterate

38:31Rachel Cruze:no amount of money is going to mend a relationship that's not that it's not with your mom she's in heaven i mean well no but but with the sister like him wanting to give the sister money to she's not suddenly gonna be okay yeah that is not if that's not a long term and she's not gonna be okay that's not what money's for right it will not do that it will have that power

38:51Dave Ramsey:yep i agree but a gesture of saying of empathy saying i i get that you're hurt i would be hurt too. I understand that. And I'm sorry. I feel badly that you are in this situation. I didn't put you here, but I understand that your heart is torn by this. And I'm so sorry. And if you give me some money. No, that's not that's not what this is about. This is about me telling you, I understand that you're hurt. I didn't make these decisions. And it's it is it is somewhat unethical to not abide by someone's will right because you know it is my will that you do so and so and that's where the name will comes from it's your it's what your mother wanted it's what i want it's my will and so and so you you know to not do what she wanted with her money is a bit unethical so um and and i'm trying to use it to mint a relationship and to rachel's point which is really the core of the whole discussion is money won't do that if the only way money can build a relationship i mean there's only one kind of relationship that money does and it's called prostitution oh my god i mean that's it there's only one thing that you're buying love i was

40:14Rachel Cruze:saying a gold digger, you know, I don't know.

40:16Dave Ramsey:Well, I mean, similar version. Yeah. But, but you know, you're buying relationship when, and that's all. And what that is, is it's not a real relationship. It's a counterfeit because it's not based on reality. And so.

40:31Rachel Cruze:And I'm going to give you full permission, Cody, too, to have a discernment if you want relationship with her. Right. And if you do extend that part of you, But also don't feel like you absolutely have to mend something right now because it does sound like, you know, there's a bit of a mess too. But if you do feel that in your own conscious that it would be good for you to have a conversation with her, then do it. Absolutely.

40:58Dave Ramsey:I would just be forewarned that I'm not part of the conversation is I'm not going to be guilt tripped. I'm not going to transfer your anger from mom to me.

41:08Rachel Cruze:we're not gonna have that i'm not gonna be a punching bag i'm not i'm not gonna sit here and

41:11Dave Ramsey:do that i can i can empathize with you but i don't have to get beat up by you and so um i don't need to do that either and i don't know this lady's modus operandi i don't know where she's coming from but sometimes when you're trying to help mend things where things are broken there's a little transference and so you get mad at the wrong thing yeah and um that could happen i don't i mean You know, what do I know? But it could happen. So, yeah, that's a good question. Everyone needs a will. If you don't have your will, go to MamaBearLegalForums.com and get it done. 70 % of Americans die without a will.

41:46Dave Ramsey:70 % of Americans are broke. I wonder if there's a correlation. People that take care of money take care of money. People that take care of their family take care of their family. There's a correlation. Get your stinking will done. All of you.

42:19Dave Ramsey:Statistics show that half of Americans don't have enough life insurance, or they don't have any at all. I don't understand this, John. Why don't people want to take care of their family? They think they're going to die or something? Well, I used to be one of those guys. I didn't even think about it.

42:34Rachel Cruze:And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids. And I immediately went and got term life insurance. That's a gut punch. And you're telling me and for decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse. They've lost somebody important to them. Me too.

42:50Dave Ramsey:They don't know what to do next. Me too. I mean, you're going to have a crisis here. And, you know, you got two options while you're sitting and talking to a young widow. She's concerned about how she's going to invest all this money properly and not mess this up, or she's concerned how she's going to eat tomorrow. That's exactly right. These are the two options. And take care of your dadgum family, man.

43:08Rachel Cruze:Term life insurance can replace income, pay off debts, cover funeral expenses, so your family can actually have the opportunity to just be sad.

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43:50Dave Ramsey:Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show. Where we help people. Build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, co-host of the Smart Money Happy Hour hit on the Ramsey Networks. My daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Melissa is in Las Vegas. Hi, Melissa. How are you?

44:22Rachel Cruze:I'm doing good. Thanks for having me on the show.

44:25Dave Ramsey:Sure. How can I help?

44:27Rachel Cruze:um so my previous marriage was very financially abusive um i've been divorced for four years and was able to build myself back up but i'm looking to get remarried the next year or two and sharing finances just feels really scary i know that's what you guys recommend but uh the jump back into that and sharing finances and doing all that feels scary so i wonder if you guys have any tips for me it should feel scary i mean that would be it's very obvious it'd be weird for you if it didn't

44:55Dave Ramsey:You'd be a weirdo. I mean, you got stung. You got stung, so hanging out with bees should feel scary. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that makes sense. Now, but let's go a step further, okay? Handling money is not a department compartment. It is woven into your spirit, your soul. Where you spend your money says what you value, says what you fear. Yeah. How you handle money says what your value system is. And so you lose the ability to create an incredible amount of unity with a spouse by not sharing. And so, you know, I would go slow enough that my wounds were healed enough that with evidence of high communication and cooperation, I could trust.

45:57Dave Ramsey:and not superimpose the other jerk onto the new guy. Okay?

46:01Rachel Cruze:Yeah. I'm working hard to not do that. Yeah, that's a hard one.

46:05Dave Ramsey:That's a human nature thing, and your self-awareness is a big deal on that. So congratulations. I think you're very wise, but I'll just go slow enough to say, in other words, if you can't share your dreams and your fears through your money, you're not quite ready to do the marriage thing.

46:25Rachel Cruze:Yeah. Because you're going to share everything, everything. You know, if you guys have kids together, I'm like, if I don't trust the spouse that I'm marrying enough with my money, how am I going to trust them to raise human beings with me? You know what I mean? Like it's, it's an indicator of their character and who they are. And if there's a pause on that, then, then again, I think that that that's a red flag to be like, okay, but, but again, your, your pause may be coming from your wounds as you're self-aware enough to know um but i think that's the that's the that's the important thing what you just said is i would coach him and and ask him pre-marriage counselor to do this and you got

47:02Dave Ramsey:and you could say it out loud to him teach him this if you want to i don't care but if he were talking to me i would say dude you know you've got to be hyper vigilant to a let melissa's vote count in all decisions. B, everything is crystal clear. There is no side deals anywhere. We are doing everything together and all the cards are face up all the time because she's got tender places. And if you touch one of those areas by forgetting to tell her something, she's going to translate that into you're a jerk and you've got to be super diligent on that i'll give you an example in our situation that's similar okay um i that that was me talking to me a minute ago okay because when we went broke my poor wife went through hell we had a brand new baby a toddler marriage hanging on by a thread she would have left but she didn't have a car i mean that's what we were doing right it was nasty the water got cut off lights got cut off she lived not she wasn't afraid she was in terror that we were going to be homeless okay that's that's the wound that she has

48:19Rachel Cruze:now that was 35 years ago but we still have an emergency fund for the emergency fund

48:31Dave Ramsey:and i don't even walk near the drawer where the emergency fund paperwork is kept dave still has

48:37Rachel Cruze:life insurance on him because mom wants it just in case like if dave dies mom is fine she's got

48:43Dave Ramsey:several hundred million dollars in real estate but she wants some insurance too you know and so it's not even logical but that is me being hyper vigilant to realize that she has a the reality of a wound there that she was that that terror can rise up it can return even 35 years later yeah and that's that's your guy that's your guy's job here because he's got to look at melissa and go she's worth me being super careful and tender on this subject and with that melissa

49:19Rachel Cruze:for you feel so would you just feel so loved like would you that would just in my head that would raise him up even more of like, you're an amazing guy. We don't even mean like there's a level of trust and care. That's really beautiful. And I think actually could be very flourishing for you guys in your relationship. That could be really one of the big things that actually unites you versus having to be divided, you know? Yeah, absolutely.

49:45Dave Ramsey:But if you knew everything, if you know everything that's going on, and I will tell you this, obviously, with 35 years of positive track record there's a bazillion times more trust in my competency and my integrity than there used to be with Sharon okay she I've regained that but that is that scar is still there I've still got psychological scars from that experience so you will have that but it'll get it'll get healed over and uh they'll just be that you know that tender place where there used to be a scar.

50:21Rachel Cruze:In your previous marriage, Melissa, was there a specific thing with money? What was the actual situation, if you don't mind sharing? I'm just curious. Yeah. So it was always my job to fix the budget, but he would never change his spending habits. And then he would rack up tons of money on the credit card and blame me. And then we refinanced the house and we only put him on it, which caused a huge trouble on the divorce. And he never wanted to save anything. He said, we'll save money when we get out of debt, which we never did. Gotcha. We left the marriage with debt. And so have you said all of that?

50:58Dave Ramsey:Have you said all of that to a fiance yet?

51:02Rachel Cruze:Um, not clearly. No.

51:04Dave Ramsey:Okay. Because I heard I heard real clear messages there.

51:08Rachel Cruze:Yeah. You know, Melissa, don't do debt.

51:10Dave Ramsey:Melissa does savings. Melissa, don't do hiding. That is very true.

51:16Rachel Cruze:I mean, I got real messages. out of that. I have no debt. My financial life is where I want it to be and I want it to stay that way once we get married.

51:27Dave Ramsey:And this is not about you being greedy. This is not about you being greedy. This is about you not being harmed.

51:35Rachel Cruze:Yes. Absolutely.

51:38Dave Ramsey:And that's fair. That's fair. It should be that way anyway, but from where you're coming from, you You guys have just got to be super clear and careful to make sure all of these things are addressed.

51:52Rachel Cruze:And I'm going to say, Melissa, if he's not on board on any of that, even if you combine or not, I wouldn't do. Yeah. I mean, like that is a deep part of your story. That's not worth the gamble, even if you keep it separate. It won't be fun. That's not fun. You're going to always be looking over your shoulder.

52:06Dave Ramsey:You'll be looking over your shoulder, looking for a dagger. Yes.

52:08Rachel Cruze:Combine those values. It's the values you're looking for with the fiance. say, when your values are aligned, it is a beautiful life you guys create together.

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53:15Rachel Cruze:And there's real privacy experts behind the scenes doing this, not bots. So this is digital hygiene we all need. We all need it. And then they will send you a detailed report showing exactly where they found your data and what they removed. And you can even request custom removals if you have something specific you want them to look out for. Exactly. And this is not being paranoid. This is staying protected. And so far, Delete Me has removed my info from 240 listings and saved me 94 hours of time it would have taken me to do it. I love it. And you guys, in a world where strangers can Google your grandma and get enough info to scam her in just two clicks, Delete Me gives you peace of mind.

53:50Rachel Cruze:Yes. So go to joindeliteme.com slash Ramsey for 20 % off. And that discount brings their annual plans down to about nine bucks a month. So go check it out. Joindeliteme.com slash Ramsey.

54:13Dave Ramsey:buying or selling a home is a big deal and there's a lot of drama out there in the real estate world especially if you do something like instagram or tic tac you'll find all the drama all the fields are out there regarding real estate but here's the truth when you got all the drama going on. There's only one way to cut through it. Facts are your friends. When you get facts, it kind of lets the air out of the drama. And we can help you with that. We've got a great U.S. housing market trends page at RamseySolutions.com slash market. And so it'll have on there what is the facts on the actual inventory, the actual median home price, how many days on the market, what are prices doing what is interest rates doing not what your broke friend with too many beers at happy hours opinion is what's really going on with real estate we can help you with that and it's good news it's good news i mean there's a lot of inventory but there's also the median home prices are steadily increasing not very fast not much but a little bit they're not going down house prices there's not a bubble they're not crashing and they're not going to There's 1 ,082 ,520 houses on the market right now.

55:31Dave Ramsey:It's the highest inventory since 2019. And there's a demand that's higher than that. So demand is higher than supply. Definition is prices will go up. Interest rates drop and prices are going to go up quicker. So be ready for that. That's going to happen because there's people sitting on the sidelines. They're all going to jump in there at once. And so as soon as the bell rings, they're going to go. And so this is a great time to buy, by the way, for that reason.

55:59Rachel Cruze:And you get a little negotiating power because days on the market.

56:03Dave Ramsey:Yeah, there's not 83 people lined up to buy one house over the weekend like there was. Y 'all remember those days. That was 20 minutes ago, right? And yeah, so right now there's actually only one person. So you're actually having a negotiation like the old days. And so it's a really excellent time to have a fair conversation about a fair price.

56:21Rachel Cruze:And it's normalized. You've always said that about the market. The not good of like how, you know, everything skyrocket, all the craziness. You always said it just needs to know the normal. The normalization of the market is the best, healthiest market, not these crazy ups and downs.

56:35Dave Ramsey:Frenzy is not good. Yeah, it's not. It's not good for the market long term. And we had that right after COVID. Y 'all remember everybody came out of their houses looking for a new house like a Baptist with a casserole. I mean, it was unbelievable. So they were everywhere. And it was crazy and drove prices straight up and you're getting these crazy offers and all that. So we're in a pretty calm. It's almost kind of quiet, but it's a really excellent time. So all of that to say, RamseySolutions.com slash market, or click the link in the show notes, and we'll help you with facts, ma 'am, just the facts.

57:05Dave Ramsey:Rachel's in Canada. Hi, Rachel. What's up?

57:08Rachel Cruze:Hello. I'm here with my husband.

57:11Dave Ramsey:Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're breaking up. I don't know if you're moving your phone in circles or what. Let's try again. Speak directly into your phone. Let's try one more time.

57:20Rachel Cruze:Okay. I'm here with my husband, and we don't have retirement set up for me. He passes ahead of me. We have a 13-year age difference. I will have Social Security. We do have assets. So we have a home renting, and the rental just dried up. So we've listed it for sale.

57:47Dave Ramsey:And we did finally lose you. Okay. we'll try to get it reset honey when we can actually hear you we're only hearing about every third word we're trying to hold our breath and understand what you're saying rosie's in new york hey rosie what's up no you hit jaylen hit the wrong one i'm just going crazy here what am i trying to do all right let me try i'm doing the right thing there's rosie hi rosie how are you hi thank you for taking my call sure how can i help um my employer is offering a pre-tax

58:18Rachel Cruze:benefit for leasing a vehicle. So would this affect the financial advice comparison between leasing, financing, and buying a vehicle outright?

58:30Dave Ramsey:No. Leasing a vehicle is financing a vehicle. You're signing the lease, right?

58:35Rachel Cruze:Yes.

58:35Dave Ramsey:No, don't do that. No, no, no, no, no. I'll take the money. Just give me the money, and I'll go buy a car.

58:42Rachel Cruze:Even though the lease would be pre-tax, and if I I buy the car, it will be post-tax?

58:48Dave Ramsey:Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. The deal is this. Leasing is the most expensive way to operate a vehicle, mathematically. It's a ripoff. The average cost of capital, quote, interest rate is 14.2%. And you're buying a new car, and it goes down in value like a rock, and all of the lost depreciation is built into the lease payment. You're financing something you cannot afford to buy, and you're calling it smart because of some little quasi-tax break. No, do not do this. It's a bad deal for you, honey. It's a bad deal. Everybody's trying to be sophisticated here, and you're going to step in a bear trap with it.

59:29Dave Ramsey:Don't do it. Simply pay cash for your car, and if they want to give you some more money at work, I'll take it. There's no 100 % tax break. Okay? So the only way this works is if you get a 100 % write-off. Otherwise, you're trading dollars for quarters. Mm-hmm. You understand how that works?

59:50Rachel Cruze:No. What do you mean by there's no 100 %?

59:52Dave Ramsey:When you have a$1 ,000 tax write-off or you do something pre-tax$1 ,000, you don't save$1 ,000. You save$250 in taxes.

1:00:02Rachel Cruze:Yeah, you save like 30%. Yeah.

1:00:04Dave Ramsey:Yeah. And so you're trading a dollar for 30 cents. Bad trade.

1:00:09Rachel Cruze:For the extra you're paying on the lease is what you're saying.

1:00:11Dave Ramsey:Yeah, and the process, in the name of sophistication or in the name of tax breaks or sophisticated tax breaks, if we want to put the two words together, you're doing a really dumb butt deal economically and mathematically just to get involved in the tax thing. and um you know a hundred percent of the time that you do something only because of the tax it's a bad deal you do the smart things and get whatever tax break you can get on the smart things and you move on that that's the only thing you do and so i'll give you an example of that out there that's floating around right now into the big beautiful bill or whatever the flip they called it they did away with the tax credits not deductions for the solar units on your home oh yeah at the end of the year so a bunch of people are running out right now and financing solar units at 18 so they don't miss the tax break stupid mathematically stupid but it created this false scenario because the end of the year it's over so now solar actually has to mathematically stand on its own without a false tax prop up and so solar's actually got to cost less than real electricity or the regular electricity you know it actually has to work now mathematically without a false government prop up and uh but people are going oh god i can't miss the tax break and they're spending more than the tax break because they can't afford to finance it and they're buying solar panels like they're like they're going out and look geez it's the same thing we're motivated

1:01:48Rachel Cruze:by the wrong thing when you're motivated by taxes same with people keeping their mortgage sometimes

1:01:52Dave Ramsey:Yeah, it's just a great example. Great example. Ninety two percent of the people this year in America will not take an itemized deduction. They will do standard deductions. If you do not itemize on your tax return, you do not get the write off on your home. The only way you get to write the mortgage off, the mortgage interest rate on your home is you have to itemize. Only eight percent of Americans do that. But a whole bunch of that 92 that aren't actually taking the write-off go, well, I'm keeping my mortgage because it's saving me all my time. No, it's not. You're not itemizing. That's just stupid.

1:02:30Dave Ramsey:God, man. But it's just, you know, that's Internet theology is what it is. It's a problem. And people just, you're exactly right. So if you did actually do it, let's say you had$10 ,000 in interest and you're in the highest possible tax bracket, 37%, okay? And you wrote off$3 ,000 in actual tax savings will come from you having a$10 ,000 interest bill. So what people are saying then is, these are the ones that actually do itemize, is I'm going to send the mortgage company$10 ,000 to keep from sending the government$3 ,000. Do I need to say that again? I'm going to send the mortgage company$10 ,000 to keep from sending the government$3 ,000, and I'm going to strut around like I'm smart when I traded$1 for 30 cents.

1:03:25Dave Ramsey:No, you're stupid. That's it.

1:03:38guitar solo

1:04:14Dave Ramsey:Mauricio is in New York. Hi, Mauricio. How are you? I'm good. And yourself? Better than I deserve. What's up?

1:04:22Rachel Cruze:So here's my situation. I have a business, and I have three other partners involved in it. and one partner really hasn't been pulling his weight for probably two years out of the three that we've been open at this point.

1:04:36Dave Ramsey:And we've already had talks and we've had all this other stuff, and he promises he's going to do it, he doesn't do it. Ultimately, I don't think I can work with him anymore. I don't trust him anymore.

1:04:47Rachel Cruze:How can I go about going to the next step, or what should that be?

1:04:52Dave Ramsey:Well, this is one of the reasons we say the only ship that won't sail is a partnership. because very few of them make it. This is one of the reasons they don't make it. I'm hoping, and I'm betting not, but I'm hoping you guys have detailed partnership agreements. We do. Okay. Does it address what happens if one of the partners isn't falling in line with the other three? How do you remove someone? It does. How do you remove someone?

1:05:24Rachel Cruze:So it's basically a buyout, whatever those terms are in terms of money.

1:05:29Dave Ramsey:So basically what it was was you get, hey, here's 30-day notice. You're not doing what you're supposed to do. You get 30 days to fix it. After the 30 days, basically, then you're out. And whatever the terms that we had. Do you have the money to write him the check that the document requires? Yes. Okay.

1:05:49Rachel Cruze:What are the other partners saying?

1:05:52Dave Ramsey:The same.

1:05:53Rachel Cruze:They're done working with them. Okay, so y 'all are all in agreement.

1:05:56Dave Ramsey:Yeah. So I guess you just execute what the plan says, don't you? Why would you not do that? Sit down and say, you know, our document says that you have 30 days to fix this to all three of our satisfaction. And so, you know, you've been sitting on your butt, and we can't see you sitting on your butt anymore. We're done with it. And we don't think you're going to turn it, so we'd rather you just not even work the 30 days and just take the check and go.

1:06:22Rachel Cruze:Right.

1:06:22Dave Ramsey:The problem, here comes the kind of the fly in the ointment, so to speak. Okay, I was waiting on it. I knew there was another issue. What? Right, there's always something, right?

1:06:31Rachel Cruze:Last year we did a lot more, and the terms are a percentage of year-to-date revenue was your buyout, right? So from last year to this year, we're about 60 % down of what we were at the same time.

1:06:44Dave Ramsey:So he wants to kind of drag this thing out as much as possible. That'd be awesome, because these bad numbers are going to be the ones you calculate on.

1:06:54Rachel Cruze:Right. And that's why he's kind of like, I think he should I get a lawyer involved? Like, oh, this is just enough.

1:07:00Dave Ramsey:If you write him a check today, what is the check? Have you calculated it? I would say probably right now, probably close to like$20 ,000. That's it. Oh, geez, man. Write the check. Yeah. Get rid of the dude. I don't think he'll take it. That's the problem. He don't have a choice. And I don't want. He don't have a choice. The formula's in the document. and then what i'd have to go to a lawyer after that the formula is in the document if he wants to argue with the document he's gonna lose in court right but then i still right i have to take him to court that's what no you don't have to take him to court he has to take you to court you're throwing him out i'm taking his keys and his computer by the terms of the day all the like bank stuff and all that stuff do what yeah take him off of everything yeah if we're going to be adversarial then let's get to it but if we can be kind about this and go this thing just didn't work and you're going to wander off on your way with a twenty thousand dollar check then we can be kind and easy about this but either way he's got to be taken off of everything someone leaves ramsey on good terms or bad terms that day their fob no longer works to get in the building hello that's just normal stuff partnership i don't think they allow me to take him off on the bank stuff.

1:08:14Dave Ramsey:Why not? Of course you can. You've executed the document.

1:08:19Rachel Cruze:You're saying that he has to sign off, is what you're saying, on the bank stuff.

1:08:24Dave Ramsey:I would assume so. As far as everything that we've done. No, you have partnership documents that show that you have removed him.

1:08:30Rachel Cruze:And he can take it to the bank.

1:08:31Dave Ramsey:You take those down to the bank and you say, guys, you take him off this account, or I'm closing, I'm pulling all the money out of this account and I'm going to another bank and open one with the three guys. you're not going to hold me hostage over here. It's not happening. So you've just got to tactically work through the different details. And, you know, if he's got other stuff that's proprietary, you've got to get it out of his possession. And you've got to shut down his passwords and stuff, man. Yeah, nothing that I'm worried about. Passwords and stuff. So you think this is going to go sour?

1:09:01Rachel Cruze:Oh, I know it is because he's been spiteful up until now. So a lot of the times it's like, hey, I'll be on. He's a great guy, spiteful and lazy. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really great. And the problem is it's like, listen, I'm welcoming my third daughter into this life right now. I can't have this guy hanging over my head if he's not going to pull his weight. And I don't want to make it tough because it's so low.

1:09:25Dave Ramsey:Hey, I want you to change your pronouns. It's not I, it's we. All three of us are sick of him. Yes. No, you're right. We're done, dude. Here's your$20 ,000 check. Here's how it's calculated.

1:09:36Rachel Cruze:Yeah, because how many conversations have you guys had with him?

1:09:39Dave Ramsey:A lot. This would probably be the fifth one in two years.

1:09:43Rachel Cruze:Yeah.

1:09:44Dave Ramsey:And it's a character issue. The guy's just lazy. He's a lazy hound dog in the sun on the front porch. He ain't getting up.

1:09:49Rachel Cruze:But is he a good – well, he's spiteful, you said. I don't know. There's a book called Ideal Team Player, and he could be – what is it? The lovable slacker. There's like the guy on the team. Except for the spiteful part. I don't know. Yeah, he may not be lovable, though, so that may not be him. No. No, you know what it is? is it's also the position that he had or he has is the fact that it's not really super important to the company. And when asked to grow was when the problem started, like, Hey, you have to take on a little bit more responsibility like the rest of us had. And he's like, no, I just want to stay in my lane.

1:10:22Rachel Cruze:And the problem is because of his lack of trying, I feel like it directly correlated to

1:10:28Dave Ramsey:the fact that we went, you know, from over, over a certain amount to less than what we had, you So if it were me in this situation. I'm working 80 hours, you're working 10. Okay. Yeah, sorry. You don't want to get into who shot anything. Okay, when we let someone go at Ramsey, it's a 10-minute conversation because there's been a bunch of conversations before that. Lots of warnings, lots of discussions. We've talked about the different issues.

1:10:54Rachel Cruze:It's written down.

1:10:54Dave Ramsey:And now we're done. Document. And so it's, hey, today's your last day here. I'm sorry this didn't work. We tried everything. You know that. We love you, and we want you to succeed somewhere else. And as of right now, none of your passwords or your computer doesn't work. We'll need to catch your cell phone and your computer. If you want to go to your desk and get your stuff, that's fine. But if you'd rather not do that walk of shame and come back tonight after hours, HR will meet you, and you can just go to the car and go home and have the rest of the day and talk to your family and everything, tell them what happened.

1:11:28Dave Ramsey:And, you know, it's about a six-minute conversation. and um that's where you are so yeah but this guy's an oh i mean it's a partner so it's gonna be more three of you sit down together in a room in person with the check in front of you and say and a document that says that this is our separation have your attorney draft a one-page separation and he signs that he gets the check he turns over his stuff and we're sorry it didn't work dude we thought when we started this it was going to be a good thing and it hadn't worked out We tried. We talked about it. And this is the end of it. This is your last day here.

1:12:04Dave Ramsey:Well, I don't care. I'm going to get a lawyer. I know. But you can do whatever you want to do. But this is your last day here. Well, I'm going to be pissed. I'm sorry. But this is your last day here. Well, I'm sorry. I'm going to cry and I want to start again. And let's give me one more chance. I'm sorry. But this is your last day here. The decision has been made. the decision has been made.

1:12:25Rachel Cruze:Right. Can we continue working? If he wants to get lawyers involved and all that stuff, we can continue on. Sure. We don't have to stop to wait for anything.

1:12:33Dave Ramsey:No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't wait on anything. You go on as if he left the building happy, and then you've just got this side issue that's going to burn some calories and some money called defending your position. But it should be an open and shut case based on what you're telling me. I'm not an attorney, But you're telling me the document clearly gives you the right to let this guy go. Yes, yes, yes. That's how we signed off on it, all four of us. And there's a clear formula on how the payout is done. And here's another thing. Here's a cool thing. All right. Let's say you run the calculation as$22 ,422.

1:13:08Dave Ramsey:Okay? Right. Make it$25. Yeah.

1:13:13Rachel Cruze:Be generous.

1:13:14Dave Ramsey:Okay? And go listen. There's a little bit more on here. And just because, here's the actual calculation. Here's what you're due. We're going to put a little mayonnaise on the bun. And this is your last day here.

1:14:13Dave Ramsey:Today's question of the day is brought to you by Why Refi? If your private student loans are in default and you feel stuck, you're not out of options. Why Refi specializes in helping borrowers like you find real solutions with low fixed rate financing. Go to whyrefi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey. Not in all states.

1:14:38Rachel Cruze:Today's question comes from Olivia in North Carolina. She said, my husband and I earn close to$500 ,000 a year with no debt except for our home. The mortgage payment is$2 ,500 a month. We max out all of our retirement accounts. Kids' college funds are on track. We have expendable money every month that we find ourselves spending on silly purchases. For me, it's purses. For my husband, it's electronics. We don't live in a mansion, and we can afford all these items, but we do recognize it's a waste of money, and frankly, they can just create clutter. Neither of us are enjoy eating out or traveling and we are very content with our lives how do we stop wasting money on silly material purchases even if we can afford them and we're doing all the right things already that's a great question Olivia yeah I mean I think understanding why you're buying these things in the first place what is it just because you just feel like we just have the money so we're we need to enjoy and spend it?

1:15:35Rachel Cruze:And that's the motivation? Is it because you're bored and you need excitement, right? So finding that motivation of why you're making the purchases in the first place will help you determine and set some values around extra money that you have. And I mean, I didn't hear any giving in this equation, Olivia, maybe you guys are, but I would probably up your giving. It's amazing what you could do if you could find, you know, people in your lives, a single mom or someone who's working the baby steps and giving, you know, a$500 spa gift card to the wife or, you know, giving them gift cards to go out to eat, like spend the money in the way of giving while also enjoying it.

1:16:19Rachel Cruze:But I wonder the fulfillment on that end is so much greater than just buying stuff to buy it. So enjoy some of it. But I would be upping you're giving because I think that's going to bring you a longer term level of contentment down the road.

1:16:33Dave Ramsey:The word I heard in the whole thing was clutter and which meant it's not satisfying. You know, I'm not I do this and then it's not satisfying. There's just regret. It feels like a financial hangover after I do it. So I would pick up our friends, Joshua and the gang at the Minimalists. Why don't you start watching some of their videos and check out some of their books. They've got a couple of documentaries on Netflix. And the minimalist, the idea is, is that we don't need as much stuff. And not that stuff is evil, but that just collecting stuff for the sake of collecting stuff is ridiculous. And that's kind of what she's saying in a sense here.

1:17:13Dave Ramsey:So that's one thing I would do. The second thing I would do is you guys need a written budget. You're not living on a budget. And a budget is simply being intentional with every dollar. You don't need a budget is not a chokehold for people that are broke. a budget you're telling your money what to do that's all it is and if you have a line item that has a certain dollar amount in it for these types of purchases then you don't go over that and you set that and you go okay you can set it high when you start and you go well it's still too much i don't i think we're buying too much crap and then you could lower the amount but you can set an amount in the cool of the evening when the two of you are sane and you're sitting at the kitchen table, then when the insanity kicks in later, whatever this weird motivation is, is driving all of this, then you can look down and go, wait a minute, the calm, logical me told the crazy me not to do this.

1:18:07Dave Ramsey:Yeah. And that's what the budget is. It's telling you what to do when you were, and you told you what to do, your future self not to do this.

1:18:14Rachel Cruze:Yeah. And I think it's a good practice, maybe for you guys, and it sounds kind of extreme, but what if like for one month, you said, you know what, we're not going to, we're not going to buy, we don't need to buy stuff. for one month. No spin. Yeah, and no spin month and just practice it. We did that with our kids this summer because our kids were like, we want this and this and I have money. I have$2. Can we go to Target? Can we please go to Target so I can spend my$2? And it was just, I mean, they were just like these ankle barter conversations constantly and I was like, you know what? We're not spending money this summer, you guys.

1:18:43Rachel Cruze:I am once and I did. But to the kids, you're not spending money and whatever you have at the end of the summer, we'll double it. We'll match you for what you have at the end of the summer, but you're not spending. and it took about, I'm going to say six days ish. It was a little less than a week because they would ask and ask and then they stopped asking and they just were content with what they had. But you kind of have to put in this practice, even as adults. I mean, I do this sometimes to myself where I'm like, I'm just buying Amazon stuff and I don't need to buy it. I don't need another box of earrings.

1:19:10Rachel Cruze:Right. Like it just kind of gets to this point. Even if you can afford it, there's something about practicing that contentment of just kind of just shutting everything off And not forever, but just to get a baseline back to a level of just, I don't know, that contentment and that steadiness.

1:19:25Dave Ramsey:Yeah.

1:19:26Rachel Cruze:So maybe that's what you guys do. It's a good practice. Do something extreme for one month and see what happens.

1:19:30Dave Ramsey:That's fun. I like that. Jalen is in Toledo. Hi, Jalen. How are you?

1:19:35Rachel Cruze:Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call.

1:19:38Dave Ramsey:Sure. What's up? So the reason I'm calling is I'm having a hard time building my savings with a fluctuating income.

1:19:46Rachel Cruze:what's your total income uh so i've got two separate i've got a primary and a secondary source of income so i'm a actually a uh 100 p &t disabled veteran um so i get about 48.5k a year non-taxable uh and then my secondary income is i'm in a live streamer on a live streaming platform and i bring roughly about two thousand dollars a month um from that okay all right it's about six thousand a month ish you're bringing in just about there yeah okay so what's irregular just the variation in the 2000 um yes the variation in the in the 2000 yeah so what's your month zero on that i'm sorry you ever have a zero month on that

1:20:40Dave Ramsey:um a zero month what do you mean by that on the streaming do you ever have a month you make zero oh no absolutely not so what's your worst month streaming uh my worst month streaming this month

1:20:50Rachel Cruze:is actually i can pull that up for you um my worst month streaming was two thousand no sorry $1 ,885. The most I made was$7 ,200.

1:21:03Dave Ramsey:Okay. All right. And the average is$2 ,000?

1:21:08Rachel Cruze:Yes, sir. Wow.

1:21:10Dave Ramsey:So that$7 ,200 was a mammoth month.

1:21:13Rachel Cruze:It was for my birthday. So I did like a special event for my birthday. And I don't have that money anymore. I got married about a little over a month ago. So all that money went towards the service and everything.

1:21:23Dave Ramsey:Okay. Congratulations. What does she make? Thank you.

1:21:27Rachel Cruze:uh she makes about 30k a year she's a data analyst okay so your household budget is around nine thousand or you guys are bringing in on average nine thousand do you know how much your monthly expenses are to run the household entirely insurances rent mortgage electricity water clothes everything do you know um i know a few of those so my mortgage just recently got lowered from just

1:21:52Dave Ramsey:you have a total of what it takes to operate to run your household how much would it cost a month The whole thing?

1:22:00Rachel Cruze:Probably around maybe$2 ,500, I'd say. Okay, so your number one problem, Jalen, is you don't know what your expenses are. So that's what I would do. I would do a very, very detailed budget tonight with your newlywed wife. It's going to be very romantic and very wonderful. Sit down. You're going to do a budget, and you guys are going to look at the line. We'll give you every dollar premium, and it connects to your bank. But you guys sit down with that app and fill it out. And if there's categories in there that are part of your life that is not in the EveryDollar app, add them. There's areas that you can add.

1:22:32Rachel Cruze:Go through and do a very detailed budget. And you need that total of how much it's going to cost. So let's say it costs$3 ,000 a month to run your household. Well, then that's great. That means, you know, you guys have$6 ,000 of margin, which is amazing. So there's some savings. I mean, that would be incredible.

1:22:50Dave Ramsey:So your premise that you're having a hard time budgeting because you have a fluctuating income is false. And the reason it's false is a very small percentage of your income is actually fluctuating. Like almost none of it. Okay. And so because you've got her$2 ,500, you've got your disability, and then you've got a baseline of probably close to$2 ,000 on the streaming that's every month. And so the only volatility is what above$2 ,000 that you're going to make and what to do with that. That's your only volatility. And that's not keeping you from laying out a plan like Rachel's saying. So you've got to sit down and do the discipline of spending your money on paper, on the app, before the month begins.

1:23:31Dave Ramsey:And when you give every dollar an assignment before the month begins, as Rachel said, then if you get a windfall and you have a$6 ,000 month instead of a$2 ,000 month, you quickly will know what to do with that other$4 ,000 because you'll have already laid out a game plan for everything else. And it's easy to make your adjustments on the fly on the minor amount of your income that is actually fluctuating.

1:24:11Rachel Cruze:What's up, guys? George Camel here. If you've been thinking about making a real difference in your community, this is your moment. People are drowning in money stress right now, and you can be the one who helps them by leading a Financial Peace University class. It's totally free for you, and we hook you up with all the tools and support you need. So if you're ready to help people ditch debt, save money, and actually sleep at night, go to fpu.com slash lead to learn more. That's fpu.com slash lead.

1:24:49Dave Ramsey:Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show. where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thanks for joining us, America. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, host of The Rachel Cruz Show, and my daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jessica is in Illinois. Hi, Jessica. How are you?

1:25:20Rachel Cruze:I'm good. How are you guys?

1:25:22Dave Ramsey:Better than I deserve. What's up?

1:25:24Rachel Cruze:Well, I was just calling, I guess, with a question. So my husband passed away unexpectedly earlier this year. We're both in our upper 30s. I'm sorry.

1:25:37Dave Ramsey:What happened?

1:25:39Rachel Cruze:He had a heart attack.

1:25:41Dave Ramsey:Wow. In his 30s. In his 30s. How long have y 'all been married?

1:25:46Rachel Cruze:We've been married just shy of two years when he passed.

1:25:49Dave Ramsey:Oh, my. I'm so sorry. Thank you.

1:25:53Rachel Cruze:So I guess I'm just calling with, I guess, looking for advice, looking, you know, morally, just to see if the angle that I'm looking at is the right angle. We had talked about previous to getting married or engaged after getting married in regards to changing our beneficiaries on everything. We were very set, I guess, intellectually, like with on our morals and values and what we wanted in life, our future goals. We are in the process of building a home that actually we just got the occupancy approval yesterday. I have a daughter of my own as well prior to our marriage. But I guess what I'm looking for is when we had discussed life insurance and beneficiaries, we both agreed that we would update with everything that we had going on.

1:26:44Rachel Cruze:We were trying to have children of our own, like I said, building a home. And then we both had conversations after marriage to, I guess, confirm that this had been done. And I recently found out in going through my husband's estate that his life insurance policy, he has a term life and then a supplemental. And I found out his sister was the beneficiary on the term life still. So that had not been switched over as we had discussed. So I am only getting half of the life insurance. So now having to finagle his estate, all the debt. So he did have assets prior to us being married that I am now the heir of his estate.

1:27:27Rachel Cruze:So I take on all debts, including any credit card debt.

1:27:31Dave Ramsey:No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not true. Only if you want the assets. Only if you want the assets.

1:27:38Rachel Cruze:Right, yeah, only if I want the assets.

1:27:39Dave Ramsey:So how much in assets did he have?

1:27:42Rachel Cruze:Sure, so he had about$155 ,000 worth the assets of what's owed on the assets, I should say.

1:27:49Dave Ramsey:That's the debt he had. So what is it, like a rental property or something or what?

1:27:54Rachel Cruze:Nope, so he had a decent size plot of land and then a building on the land, and then we also built our home on that land.

1:28:03Dave Ramsey:Okay.

1:28:03Rachel Cruze:As well, which the home is in my name and his, but everything else is just in his name.

1:28:08Dave Ramsey:So the house is on a different plat than the rest of the land?

1:28:15Rachel Cruze:Yes, we separated the parcels.

1:28:16Dave Ramsey:Got it. Okay. So the rest of the land that the house is not on was in his name, and it is worth what? I'd say the land and the shop are probably worth between$250 ,000 and$300 ,000. Okay. Okay, and there's$155 owed on it.

1:28:38Rachel Cruze:There's a little under$100 owed on just the land. Oh, and then$55 and other stuff. There's separate assets.

1:28:43Dave Ramsey:Okay, so you are correct. The equity in the land stands good for his debt. You do not take on the debt unless you want to keep the land. Yes. And that's what you're saying. You want to keep the land so you're willing to take on the debt. But you don't get the debt automatically. When someone dies, what they own stands good for what they owe. Assets minus liabilities. Okay? Yeah. And so let's pretend for everybody listening that he had assets of$30 ,000 and debts of$100 ,000. You would turn the assets loose. You're not going to take on these debts because you don't inherit debt in the United States.

1:29:26Okay.

1:29:27Dave Ramsey:Okay. You follow the difference? So, in other words, you're willing, and I think you're wise, you're willing if you're able financially to accept the$155 ,000 to get the$300 ,000. And it's adjacent to your new house, you know, so all of that. Okay, now then you're leading all to another question, so how can we help?

1:29:49Rachel Cruze:Well, I guess I was just leading more or less to give a little context in regards, you know, my husband and I have been together for five years in total. our families both very close I made it in with his family immediately they I fell in love with them they fell in love with me and vice versa for my husband with my family they no what's your question loved him so my question is with my sister and he for whatever reason didn't change his life insurance policy over like we had discussed and now I'm only receiving half which It's not enough to pay for our home.

1:30:25Dave Ramsey:Okay.

1:30:26Rachel Cruze:So now I'm being forced to sell our home, I guess. So my question is, is just looking for advice morally. You know, I need to have conversations with her on how this has made me feel. It's emotionally draining. I'm going through probate. You feel like she should give you the money. Right, as his wife. It sounds selfish, but it's a life insurance policy. The purpose of it is so that we're not going out of home.

1:30:53Dave Ramsey:Your husband didn't change the beneficiary, so it's not your sister-in-law's fault. She didn't do anything wrong, and she does not have a moral obligation to do this. He had a moral obligation to fix it before he died, but she does not have a moral obligation to give you this money. And it's not yours. You don't have any rights to it morally, ethically, certainly not legally. If she wanted to give it to you because it was the intent, then that would be a kind thing to do. and um but but she's not obligated to and i don't think you have a right to be mad at her if she

1:31:27Rachel Cruze:doesn't um no and i understand that i'm i guess i was just looking to see an outside perspective yeah and it's i mean i i hear you jessica that sucks that you know you your husband's life insurance is going to his sister and you're like oh my gosh but we have a life here i mean

1:31:40Dave Ramsey:that that's not fun i want to cry with you but i'm kind of mad at your dead husband okay

1:31:46Rachel Cruze:Yeah.

1:31:46Dave Ramsey:You know, because he should have done this, you know, and you are too, really, if you admit it. But I'm sorry. I mean, but it's just because it left you in a lurch. So now you're going to have to sell the whole kit and caboodle.

1:31:58Rachel Cruze:Have you talked to the sister? I'm just curious if you've had any level of conversation of like the obvious. I don't know. We've had conversations in regards to it because, like I said, I was completely shocked by the fact that. What did she say? Well, she had asked for a death certificate, and I was kind of shocked by it. And I had asked, what do you need it for? And she just said, some time-sensitive paperwork. And so then I gave the death certificate, and then I said, can I just ask what you would need it for, I guess? And she was just like, well, life insurance. I was a beneficiary, and I was like, well, I knew you were prior to marriage, but once we got married, Drew told me that he had changed it.

1:32:36Rachel Cruze:So I said, can you just call to verify with his insurance company if you have a claim number and just verify that you are for sure before you go and send in for this and it gets paid out and you're really not. Because, like I said, based off my conversations with my husband, it had changed everything over. And what did she say? She just said, I'm sorry, I don't know, I'll just say.

1:32:59Dave Ramsey:Yeah, you're not getting this money, hon. So I'm so sorry. you're going to at least sell the piece of land you may be selling both things and restarting your life with what you have because you've been through a tragedy and a horrible situation and the paperwork wasn't done properly gosh I'm so sorry

1:33:39Dave Ramsey:You spend hours researching before making a major purchase like a home or car, but it's also a good idea to put in the work searching for the right insurance coverage. To protect your biggest assets, I recommend using Ramsey Trusted Pros. Whether you're looking for car, home, or any other type of insurance, Ramsey Trusted Providers have been coached and vetted to serve you like we would. Find what you need at RamseySolutions.com slash insurance.

1:34:22Dave Ramsey:Are you staying on track with your baby steps? You can take a quick quiz to check your progress and receive a personalized plan just for you. That's why we call it personalized. Simply head to the show notes, click the link titled, Are You On Track With The Baby Steps, and complete the free quiz. Did I mention it's free? All right, Atlanta is calling Karina. Hi, Karina, how are you?

1:34:45Rachel Cruze:Hello, good, how are you?

1:34:46Dave Ramsey:Better than I deserve. What's up?

1:34:49Rachel Cruze:Yes, sir. I wanted some advice on what to do. I have two teenagers. I have a 16-year-old boy and a 19-year-old. and in regards to purchasing their own vehicle i've heard you say before um that you would have them save and you would match um but because we obviously were not very good with our money before and i wanted to know if if it's okay we're in baby step three now if it's okay to help them um purchase a vehicle even though they're not going to put as much down or as much towards the vehicle or is there any other way that they can have their skin in the game if we're able to purchase like a three thousand dollar car for them well do they have any money saved no okay no they do have they just started a job this week but it's part-time because they have school

1:35:48Dave Ramsey:sure yeah but no they do not okay you're on baby step three which means you worked your way out of debt and then you just ask me a question about putting your teenagers into debt that's

1:36:01Rachel Cruze:inconsistent i don't i don't want to put the money well you said i'm not down you said down i did but there's no down unless there's a loan she didn't mean a loan though did you correct no yeah i think she just meant them contributing money a thousand dollar car what them contributing money that's what she meant yeah okay yes What? You misunderstood.

1:36:27Dave Ramsey:No, I didn't. No, you did.

1:36:28Rachel Cruze:She did say down, but that's beside her.

1:36:32Dave Ramsey:All right, so what's your household income, hon?

1:36:36Rachel Cruze:We're at 135.

1:36:38Dave Ramsey:Okay, all right. And so give me a scenario under which the 19-year-old would buy a car and how you would participate and how they would participate. Tell me what that might look like.

1:36:50Rachel Cruze:Yes, sir. So what we had spoken about is that, like the example you give, that they would save up like$2 ,000 and we would do the$2 ,000 and then find a$4 ,000 car.

1:37:04Dave Ramsey:Right.

1:37:04Rachel Cruze:But right now, because they need a vehicle to move around, and we do have another vehicle in the household, I just don't know if, like, gifting it to them and then find another way how they can. So you have three cars. You have three cars, right? We have two cars. Two cars. What's the extra?

1:37:31Dave Ramsey:You don't have a vehicle for the teenagers. You have a car. Your husband has a car.

1:37:36Rachel Cruze:My husband drives a company vehicle. And then I use one to go to work, and then they're using the other one. So then they can share. You don't have to give it to them, but they can use it. They can just share the use of it.

1:37:47Dave Ramsey:It's your car.

1:37:48Rachel Cruze:And then save up the money. and then when they have money saved.

1:37:50Dave Ramsey:If they want their own car, they need to save some money and go get one. Okay. But they can use your old car until they do. Okay.

1:37:59Rachel Cruze:Yes, that makes sense.

1:38:00Dave Ramsey:That's all you need to do. At 16 and 19, it's too late to start any kind of a matching program. I would just tell them, kids, y 'all can use this as long as you're living here, but when you get ready to go out on your own, you're going to need a car. So you need to start saving for a car. and if you want to not drive this car you need to start saving for a car and there will be no car payments while you live under my roof hey yes they understand that yes okay i know i just want

1:38:27Rachel Cruze:to tell them again yeah okay so carina i i would be okay with you still doing the matching program you know i mean not until they're like 26 or something but while they're still living in your home if they work if they're working and sharing that car and they save their own two thousand dollars and you and your husband have that to spare and you guys want to still match that that's Okay, if you want to do that. Then you can, yeah.

1:38:46Dave Ramsey:If you want to do that. But there's just not a lot of time. And so really, if a 19-year-old does this and they're living at home, they got no overhead, they got no rent, they got no food problem, then all they got to do is go make a big pile of money and stack cash. So get your butt to work.

1:39:01Rachel Cruze:Yes, sir.

1:39:03Dave Ramsey:He can make enough by Christmas to buy a car. Hello.

1:39:07Rachel Cruze:Yes, sir. That's our plan. That's our goal. Because we did have a conversation. I just didn't know because they were, like, older.

1:39:14Dave Ramsey:Yeah, if you want to help them a little bit, like Rachel said, some match, that's okay. But, yeah, some level of match is fine. But the good news is I'm really helping you. You get to use this car for free. You get to live here for free. So you got no use for money except stacking it to buy a car. So stack it. Don't spend it. And go get you a car by Christmas. And, you know, go, you know, hey, you're 19, try working 40 hours a week. Let's see if we can't have$4 ,000 or$5 ,000 by Christmas. You should be able to. You don't have any expenses. So that's – but if you want to put two more with it and help them get a seven, great.

1:39:52Dave Ramsey:That's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But you're right. The inconsistency with our story is that we started that when our kids were really young, that discussion. And so that matching thing has a whole different set of lessons to it that you don't get the benefit of the lessons here because it's just a short term. The lesson here is work hard, stack cash, buy something with cash. that's the lesson and and it's going to be a very short microwavable thing rather than a crockpot thing and that that's the the process but yeah and just you know because the culture and all of their friends are telling them to go get a car payment don't be afraid to repeat yourself a lot that we don't do car payments for people that live in this house because 16 year old go

1:40:36Rachel Cruze:get a car payment on their own?

1:40:39Dave Ramsey:Let's just, everybody needs to thoroughly understand what we do here. And 16-year-olds oftentimes don't hear something the first time you say it.

1:40:50Rachel Cruze:She said down early on, and you have attached that.

1:40:56Dave Ramsey:I am just saying, be real careful here. I don't want anybody making assumptions. This is how this works, and this is how it doesn't work. So that's the whole thing. That's what we're doing. All right. Mark's in Virginia. Hey, Mark, what's up? Hey, I'm getting ready to retire. Cool. And trying to figure out how to go from a saver mentality to a spender mentality. How much? What's your net worth? Seven or eight, something like that. Seven or eight dollars? Million. Okay, good. I was hoping.

1:41:31Rachel Cruze:Dave likes to hear that word.

1:41:32Dave Ramsey:I was hoping. Good. Way to go, Mark.

1:41:35Rachel Cruze:Well done, Mark.

1:41:37Dave Ramsey:Congratulations. We did good. So Sharon and I, most people who do what you've done, you've probably started from nothing, and you've worked your tail end off, and you've saved like a maniac, and that's how you got here. Congratulations. You're a success. You're a stud. Well done. But now what you've got to do is, as you said, you need to learn to enjoy money more than maybe you ever have, and you've got plenty of margin to do that. because if your mutual funds are earning 12%, 11%, and you pull 10, you've got$700 ,000 a year to do something with without touching the nest egg. If your portfolio averaged 10 % on$7 million, you follow me?

1:42:17Dave Ramsey:So you've got a$500 ,000,$600 ,000,$700 ,000 income off of your investments without messing up your investments. So Sharon and I have done two things to learn, to develop, to get past the emotional part of spending money because it feels weird when you spend money and you've been working so hard saving money, which is your question. So two things we did. One is we increase our generosity. We're very intentional and look people in the eye like crazy tips, crazy. Catch somebody doing something right. Just walk up and buy, put a set of tires on somebody's car that you're looking at them. They look like they need some help at the gas station.

1:42:57Dave Ramsey:And let's go over there, the discount tire. I'm going to spend$1 ,000 to put tires on your car. And just start doing some weird stuff like that. Just pocket money. Random. I have been doing that, and it feels really good. It does. I'll tell you what. The interesting thing is it's the same muscle. Generosity is the same muscle as the spending muscle. Yeah. It loosens up the spending muscle if you're generous. Because it's the same thing. Because you're letting go of money in both cases. where with saving, you're holding on to money. Both of these are learning to hold with an open hand. The second thing we've learned to do is we just have the burn the money in the middle of the floor question.

1:43:30Dave Ramsey:If you buy something for$70 ,000 and you burnt that money in the middle of the floor, would it change your life? Not a nickel. Nothing would change. So if you go buy a$70 ,000 antique car that you've always wanted, whoopty-doopty. Doesn't change anything. Now, if you go spend$800 ,000, you could put a dent in this thing. That'd be a problem.

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1:44:56Dave Ramsey:The Money and Marriage Getaway here on the Ramsey campus is a hugely popular event. It sells out every time we do it. Dr. John Deloney and Rachel Cruz here with me are the hosts. And it's a weekend-long event at our Ramsey Event Center here on our campus. And it is incredible. It's life-changing. They get into the details. I can tell you that. Tickets start at$7.49 a couple. The next one is in November, and then we're doing one in February around Valentine's Day, February 12th through 14th. So you can get your tickets for the lowest price before they end at RamseySolutions.com. Slash getaway or click the link in the show notes.

1:45:38Dave Ramsey:And, Rachel, this thing is, with you and John doing it to start with, people need to know that's like stand-up comedy. It's going to be really funny. And there's a lot of awkward stuff that makes it really easy to be fun.

1:45:50Rachel Cruze:Yeah, well, we do dive into the two topics. Yeah, and a lot of depth. I talk obviously about the money side and how do you do this as a couple. What does that look like? Because there's so many different angles and approaches and topics around that. And then John dives into the marriage portion. And so it is, yeah, it's a really fun weekend. And it's a very impactful weekend because we want you to come and leave, not just overwhelmed with, oh, gosh, I have so many things to do. but really a plan and an awareness in your marriage that you may have not have had. So that's our hope for you.

1:46:21Dave Ramsey:Yeah, some inspiration to do something even bigger and better. It's very cool. The Money and Marriage Weekend, again, November and February. They sell out every time, and so if you want your tickets, jump in there right now and get them done. Andrew's in Florida. Hi, Andrew. Welcome to the show. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help?

1:46:42Rachel Cruze:um so i have a i got a truck paying i'm 21 um i got a truck i financed uh 25 000 with a 23.8 interest i know i'm done for that god uh and uh i owe 21 086 on it right now and i paid on it for two years and i can't refinance it because at the time of i got the first the truck the truck loan I had a car loan out, and that car got totaled, and Gap didn't pay for it all, so I paid it out. I have a letter from the finance company saying it's a paid off, but they put a repo on my credit, and they won't take it off. And I'm like$10 ,000 upside down on my truck, and I just don't know how to get out of it.

1:47:25Dave Ramsey:Who said the truck's worth$12 ,000?

1:47:29Rachel Cruze:The dealerships in Kelley Blue Book.

1:47:31Dave Ramsey:Well, dealerships buy it wholesale, honey. so you looked at Kelly Blue Book for what you can private sale it or what a wholesale is private sale I have it posted right now for 15 ,000 and I was just gonna use use money use my

1:47:46Rachel Cruze:own money you got some money to pay off the rest no not really my fiancee does she's gonna help me

1:47:52Dave Ramsey:out no no you don't you don't take money from somebody you're not married to honey that's another bad plan you're going from one bad idea to another um yes sir so you don't have any money

1:48:02Rachel Cruze:you personally no sir okay do you work andrew uh yes so i'm a electrician apprentice but i just broke my foot so i'm waiting on that to heal before i can go back i'm in a real close spot how much how much do you make a year when you're working full-time uh in between i'm gonna say 30 to 50 a thousand a year it depends on the job and where i'm at with okay yeah when will you be

1:48:28Dave Ramsey:back to work?

1:48:31Rachel Cruze:I'm not sure. I got a dog's appointment tomorrow to go over my experience.

1:48:36Dave Ramsey:How long ago did you break it? About a month ago. Okay, so you'll be back pretty quick.

1:48:42Rachel Cruze:You in a boot or like a scooter thing? I'm in an Aircast boot, so yeah, construction sites don't like you on the job site. Okay, and when are you guys getting married? uh we were hoping for december um but we might have to postpone why uh financial reasons and just some stuff between us we want to be ready okay um well i would not take money from her until you guys are officially married and so it would be you doing this all on your own and have you gotten any interest with it listed at 15? No, not really. Okay. Yeah, I mean, that's going to be your best bet and to be saving up some money because you're right.

1:49:30Rachel Cruze:I mean, I doubt you'll be able to get a loan for the difference. That's usually what we say when it's upside down, but with your credit and having a repo, it may be tough to get a small loan, but that would be.

1:49:39Dave Ramsey:What can you do right now while your foot's in the boot to make some money?

1:49:44Rachel Cruze:uh i've uh i know a guy he owns his own company and he's uh starting another branch doing rv repair but it's still very new so he's just paying me i think 16 an hour to watch youtube videos to learn so i have some type of income um but it's not it's not everything i need right now

1:50:04Dave Ramsey:why is he paying you to learn to work on rvs if you intend to go back to being an electrician

1:50:10Rachel Cruze:uh because he's really trying to just help me out he we go to church together and he sees i'm a tough spot so uh and i i just like learning everything i can yeah and how many hours a week are you getting paid to do this right now uh right around 40 wow okay that's a bright spot

1:50:29Dave Ramsey:and yeah he's a he's a very generous man okay yes sir he is um being very kind to you yeah so So what I'm going to do if I'm in your shoes is exactly what Rachel said. If we can't solve the issues that are keeping you from getting married and advance the marriage date, I would not wait to get married based on financial problems. I would wait to get married if there's other problems. And you mentioned two things. But you don't need to save up and have a wedding. You're two broke children. You don't have any money. You're 21. one, you got no money. So you don't need to wait two years and save up$20 ,000 to have a wedding.

1:51:11Dave Ramsey:Just go get married, for goodness sakes. People do that all the time. And 40 years later, they tell the story.

1:51:21Dave Ramsey:But if there are relational issues that you need to solve, then do solve those. I'm not telling you to rush into something that doesn't look good. But if you go get married, then that solves the problem because you've got the money then to cover this. And I wouldn't marry her just for that reason, but don't take money from somebody you're not married to. It's going to put a strain on a relationship. And if there's already problems, it's going to make it worse because the borrower is slave to the lender, even your girlfriend. Every time, that's the way that works, 100 % chance that it changes the relationship when you borrow money from somebody.

1:51:59Dave Ramsey:Every time. So don't borrow money. Now, if the relational issues are minor and you're waiting on some kind of weird financial thing, put that to the side. Go ahead and get married. If the relational issues are a reason to wait, then Rachel's right. I would tell you to wait. If that is not the case, then what you've got to do is do nothing but work all the time until you get enough money to get out of this ridiculous truck deal. 25 % interest and$25 ,000 for a 21-year-old. Whoever sold you that should be beat with a stick. That's just immoral. It's just thievery. They just completely saw you coming and screwed you.

1:52:44Dave Ramsey:But we can't do anything about it now except learn our lesson and never go back on the property where you bought that truck the rest of your life. Those are not good people. Get away from them. Stay away from them. and then let's get this stinking thing paid down and get it sold get you a three thousand dollar truck and get your life back because this thing owns you right now man i'm sorry i've been trapped i've felt that way that's why i'm kind of angry right now for you because i know how you feel and uh you can get there but that's our guidelines uh get you some money and get out of this truck and or get married and get out of this truck but the moral of the story is get out of this truck Get this thing sold, dude.

1:53:27Dave Ramsey:Yeah.

1:53:28Rachel Cruze:I mean, on some years, this is costing half of his annual income. God almighty. Yeah.

1:53:33Dave Ramsey:Yeah, it's just a – it's just –

1:53:35Rachel Cruze:No, more than that. I mean, if he's making 30 some years, yeah. So you feel it, though, Andrew. And it's a good lesson. I mean, learn it now.

1:53:42Dave Ramsey:The good news is you never have to do it again the rest of your whole life. This is one lesson you've learned. And so with me, I do stupid stuff all the time, but my goal is just to not do the same stupid stuff. and so if you've got a whole list of stupid things that you never do again people start calling you wise and that this one's on this is this is on your list this is look at what i did when i was 21 i did this stupid thing and i'll never do it again and you get the whole rest of your life to live with that lesson and be smart and and not let somebody ever tattoo you again on a car deal oh my gosh

1:54:32Outro Music

1:54:58Dave Ramsey:Our scripture of the day, Deuteronomy 7, 9, Know therefore that the Lord your God is God. He is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. Ronald Reagan said, I've wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would look like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. Oh, my gosh. Reagan. Oh, man. Jake is in Washington, D.C. Hey, Jake, what's up? Hey, how's it going, Ramsey crew? How's it going today? Better than we deserve, sir. How can we help?

1:55:35Rachel Cruze:Hey, so I'm getting married in 18 days, and me and my fiancé were in an incredibly blessed situation, and we're wondering what to do with all of our inherited money that we have and how to be responsible with it and how to just give back to the community and make a positive impact on the world.

1:55:56Dave Ramsey:Phenomenal. So who's inheriting money, you or her?

1:56:00Rachel Cruze:We've both already inherited it.

1:56:02Dave Ramsey:Oh, okay. How much did she inherit?

1:56:05Rachel Cruze:She inherited close to$4.5 million, and I inherited close to$300 ,000.

1:56:16Dave Ramsey:Oh, a little different. Okay, cool.

1:56:19Rachel Cruze:Wow, where did hers come from? Hers came from her grandparents. Both of ours actually came from our grandparents. They just worked extremely hard and made sure to stash away a lot of money. A lot of it's in trust in the stock market. So yeah, that's how they passed it over to us.

1:56:40Dave Ramsey:How old are you two? Uh, we're both 27. Okay, cool. What do you do for a living? Uh, I work as a technology consultant for Big Four. What about her?

1:56:53Rachel Cruze:And she's a lobbyist in D.C.

1:56:56Dave Ramsey:Okay. First thing I would do is establish a sustainable life on your income without touching the money.

1:57:05Okay.

1:57:06Dave Ramsey:That you don't need this money to live on and don't become dependent upon it. That makes you a trust fund baby. And you're not that. Okay. You're both gainfully employed. You have great careers. You're obviously professionals. Congratulations. And all of that happened out of your grandparents' inheritance as well. You inherited their character, their work ethic, their smarts, and all of those things, not counting their money. And so let's honor that by creating a sustainable life where the two of you build wealth independent of this 4.3 and this 300K. That's thing one. Thing two is you need to lay out a very clear, detailed itinerary or schedule of what we're going to do with this money.

1:57:52Dave Ramsey:And both of you be in agreement with it. because where people mess up is if you spend it in your head or you invest it in your head, you'll end up doing about$8 million worth, and you've only got$4 million. So if you lay it out line by line by line by line, and there are only three buckets that these lines can land in, the spending bucket, which is okay to spend some wisely and carefully, The investing bucket, obviously, wisely and carefully and slowly. And the generosity bucket you mentioned giving to the community. Okay. And so I'm going to allocate portions of this$4.6 million to those three buckets.

1:58:41Dave Ramsey:And say, okay, we are going to live on this income, but we are going to use$300 ,000 or$800 ,000 of it to buy a house. Okay. Or something like that. But we're going to live on our income, all right? And pay cash for a house at 27 years old. That's a good investment, sir, or whatever the number is. But it doesn't need to be a$4 million house. That doesn't make sense in your situation. But we're going to lay down, this is how much we're going to put on this. This is how much we're going to give, and we're going to do an annualized giving of this off of the income that this money creates. and then we're going to look at the investments that are currently there.

1:59:20Dave Ramsey:You said the money's invested in trust in the stock market in some way or another. I want to learn about that. I want to know what it's in, and you need to make clear, careful decisions about what the money is sitting in. If it's in a bunch of single stocks, that scares me. We're not moving it to freaking Bitcoin. Okay? We're going to be boring. Your grandparents were boring and steady, and it worked, and it worked. so follow their lead and then the last thing the third guideline I'll give you so guideline one is create sustainable life without the money guideline two is you lay everything out line by line in those three buckets generosity spending and are enjoying money whatever we want to call that and investing money line item then the third thing to remember is um that you don't put money in stuff you don't understand.

2:00:16Dave Ramsey:So you don't invest because your friend said to. We're not trying to get rich quick. We're trying to be the tortoise, not the hare. That's what Grandpa did. And a good way to remember any of the stuff, the generosity, the investing, or anything is ask yourself, if I do this with this money, is Grandpa in heaven smiling? Am I honoring his legacy? Am I honoring the man or the woman that made this money? by doing this and if you would go my grandpa would kill me if he knew i was doing this well he does know you're doing it so be you know beware right and so you know let's just let's just be be the guy that is uh honoring to this because the opposite of that is somebody that goes crazy and acts like they won the lotto and you're not that guy i can already tell by talking to you

2:01:04Rachel Cruze:that guy doesn't even call the show and ask this question yeah yeah jake i mean like yeah i think totally agree with everything you said. And I think that the detailed plan is super helpful because it does take ideas and numbers that can kind of get foggy and there's obvious ways that we're going to handle this. And it's written plain as day right there. And, you know, to another element, I'm like, this is so fun that you and your wife get to set up a legacy that you guys then get to build upon your lives, which then can be passed down to your kids.

2:01:39Dave Ramsey:You understand your grandkids are going to get$400 million because of this? Yeah, 100%. That's the way this money works. If you don't blow this, I mean, your grandpa was old man Vanderbilt, and you're like the second or third gen. I mean, this is a huge mathematical opportunity.

2:01:59Rachel Cruze:Yeah, no, I appreciate all the advice. I think both of us are feeling the responsibility of this all, and we listen to you guys a lot. And I think something that resonates with us a lot is just going slow with it and learning along the way. Like, there's no reason for us to make a huge purchase right now. We don't need to add that extra pressure. We can be methodical about it. We can be practical about it. And as life starts to evolve and change and after the wedding, we can make a decision. And it's good to have options. It's a positive thing. But it does add stress. And I think that's why I just wanted to call you guys and just get that reassurance that we can do this.

2:02:42Dave Ramsey:Let me tell you, the fact that you're feeling the weight of this means you're wise. That's a wise position to be in. That means you actually understand that wealth is a responsibility. It is not a celebration. It's not a thing that says, oh, I get to do anything I want to do now. That's childish. but when you say this is a responsibility to future generations, this is a responsibility to generosity of the community, this is a responsibility that we do this in a way that we honor grandpa's legacy. This is a response. You feel that weight. It doesn't have to be stressful, but that just the sense of that, that's the positioning of that in your spirit really says, that says a lot about you.

2:03:27Dave Ramsey:It says you're very, very mature. Congratulations. I'm very proud. Your grandpa was proud of you. I can promise you. I can promise you. We're proud of you.

2:03:34Rachel Cruze:Yeah, there's something to that. It doesn't take the dignity of you all away because of setting up your life as just you guys, almost pretending like you don't have it for a second as you're like, OK, here's our life. Here's what we make. We're going to live within our means. And and there's something in that that also gives you that that dignity piece that it's not just completely stripped. because I think that's the other thing is it can feel so, you can feel so numb if you get this money and you're just like, oh, we're going to just travel the world and spend it forever and ever. Amen. And that's all we're going to do.

2:04:07Rachel Cruze:There's something about having purpose specifically for you in your own story and same with your wife of having purpose and you guys make that.

2:04:16Dave Ramsey:There's dignity in that. That's the right word. You picked the right word. I agree. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.