315: Michelle Griffith-Robinson's rules for life

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1:07Hello, scumbags. This is the Scummy Mummies podcast with your hosts, Ellie Gibson and Helen Thorne.

1:20Hello, and welcome to the Scummy Mummies podcast. It's me, Helen Thorne. And it's me, Ellie Gibson. Very excited, Ellie. I'm always excited because we've got one of my favourite people in the whole world. It's the wonderful, the talented Michelle Griffith-Robinson. Hello. Hello, darling. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Going for gold. Have you ever had that? I've just, I've just wanted to sing that. An Olympian. It's what Henry Kelly would have wanted. He's going to have wanted. God bless him. God bless him. Do you remember going for gold, Michelle? Very, very well. I remember it.

1:51It came around between four and five. three days a week. Yeah. And was that what made you want to become an Olympian? Definitely not.

2:02But I remember it. So I do remember it. This theme tune really well. I remember the programme really well, but it wasn't my, I can't say that was one of my, my drivers to become an Olympian. Well, that's that narrative, that's the end of the podcast. That is the end of the podcast. No, we can't go ahead. Helen, you say something. Oh, well, look, I'm just thrilled because, you know, Michelle and I met a couple of months ago and we instantly fell in love. But I always thought, oh, we've got to have you on the podcast because we've never had someone as so amazing, an Olympian, a live coach, a mentor, a trainer, mother of three, just all round excellent lady.

2:38Thank you, babes. Thank you, thank you, thank you. All of which is true. But again, continue your vein of starting the podcast by insulting the other 313 guests that we've had. There's a song in Australia that goes, love the one you're with it's true you're my favorite child at the moment right now oh but we do love you michelle and i've only met you once anymore and i love you as well thank you i feel i'm feeling the love right now that you know good i'm feeling properly loved so thank you when um we did a show in cardiff and michelle came along and you were in the front row and i remember we went off at interval and ellie was like who is that woman in the front row she's amazing i was like that's my friend that's my friend that's michelle let's be honest i'm easily impressed by anyone who laughs at all my jokes but you were laughing very hard you just had energy man i was just like oh she's got energy have you seen this bird you were like that's my mate that's my mate i was like oh okay nice that's like i like that i know her oh no that was a joy card of sassine so that's where you live you're a welsh lady yeah i am and when i married a welshman he's flipping hot you know well that was beautiful i can't say no you know but he is i mean objectively you can say really good looking he's flipping fit babes I mean just casually Google him later yeah he's not the go compare man is he?

3:55no no no no he's better than him former rugby player for Wales and we live about 40 minutes from Cardiff in a village and we've been there two years coming up absolutely love it there it's been a renovation project that we did we started in 2021 it's it's saved up to be honest with you our marriage was on the rocks because that house was going to bleed us death but we pulled it through we pulled it back 20 years celebrating 20 years that's a great design listen on the brink grand design on the brink no money left no marriage left kids have left home there is no home no in all seriousness it's a beautiful home but I can tell you now for all you listeners out there if you're doing a relevation always add on 25 % on top yeah I've learned that lesson it is a hard one it's a hard one right yeah 25 % on top and make sure your marriage is stable before you even hit the first bit bit of brick yeah or just make sure everything is in your name.

4:49Is that two? Is that two? Oh, my goodness. I don't know where to start, Michelle. You're an Olympian. You're a life coach. You're a mentor. You've got three children, for goodness sake. That's a feat in itself. It is. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. I could have had more, you know. I wanted to have more. I wanted to be... I'm one of four. So I wanted to have four. But when Matthew wanted me to have another one, I didn't want to and vice versa. So anyway, I persuaded him when I was 40 to have a third and I've got my little baby boy, Elijah. So that's our last one. So they're 21, 18 and 11. But yeah, I'm proud of my career.

5:23It's it's been it's had its journey. Of course, being an Olympian is one thing, but probably more what I do now with my charities and everything else, which I'm sure you'll come to is probably what really I'm really more proud about, really, if I'm being honest. But you would have had more kids because do you want one of mine? Yeah, I can have yours. No gadgets, though. Monday to Friday. So you have a ruling. So your kids are between 11 and is it 20? 21. 11 and 21. So from age three till they were 15, 16, they were not allowed any TVs or gadgets for social purposes. So, of course, homework, a lot of the homework was placed on gadgets and computers.

6:00So that's different. But other than that, no socially just hanging out on gadgets from Monday till Thursday. Monday till Friday. No screens. No screens. No screens, no TV, no iPads. Just do your work. And then we'd find activities. What did help me, if I'm being honest, is the kids are really sporty. They're very sporty. So by the time they get in from netball, hockey, athletics, football, rugby, they're too battered anyway. So it's too late to go on screens. And in the times when they were younger, between three and five, we would do a lot more games, hands on. And I'd be at home a lot because Matthew was a housemaster in a boarding school.

6:35So Matthew's profession, plus me being at home, lent itself to that rule. and it's a rule that I found that that way kept them off screens um we're probably having a little bit more pushback now of Elijah than we did with the girls who is the 11 year old the youngest because he doesn't have a sister or siblings to play with because they're now both left home so um but he's at rugby and football he's busy and it's a rule we've kept and it's both me and my husband's rule and yeah do you know what and what have you seen the benefits to be I think the benefits of it are that there's so much more you can do so it's very much outdoors get outside let's get outside do stuff outside help me cook let's let's talk you know and i mean i mean the difficulty is because i spend a lot of my time on social media as well it means that i have to have boundaries around what i do so i can't be having that rule and then going against it so there is that and sometimes to be honest my my husband's like mish mish remember yeah i'm like yeah yeah yeah you're right i just sit down poo for the next 45 minutes i'm saying i'm just shitting here upstairs in the toilet elijah's like mom where are you you're taking ages and just peel the spuds baby boy i'll be down in a minute so but to be fair it works well i think the benefits are you get to know your child um and of course you can be flexible you can be flexible but the general rule is they're more engaged with you you know what's going on there's so much to talk about you're more present and it's about being present which i know is not always easy for a lot of parents because of their roles and their jobs.

8:03Also, sometimes being present is shit. Sometimes if you're tired and they're tired and everyone's in a moody, sometimes, I'll be honest, all we want to all do is sit down and watch Friends. Sit down and watch Friends, but that's okay. We can also sit down and play Scrabble. We can play Uno. I mean, I know every Uno card backwards and forwards. I love Uno. And we're a competitive family, so, you know, that does help too. But there's so much to do that we can do that we've done with the girls, especially and you know together that it's priceless and it's just our rule it's worked and um i would say to people try it if it works for you if you don't try it i don't care yeah i know yeah i'm really interested in it i think like you say it's it's different every family i think of course in our family it's too late to introduce that but i am we do have limits on screens and next time my kids complain because i'm telling them to turn off screens i'm going to say if you lived in michelle's house i'll tell you what they'll tell you what they'll be like well we don't because that's what i've had with elijah i was like well my friend at school's allowed i said unfortunately sonny you ain't he ain't my child i don't get what his mom does yeah i don't get what his dad does but what it does mean is you're engaged you are there and there's times and matty said it's okay to be bored we as parents try to fill our kids and make sure that oh you don't have to be bored it's okay to be bored sit comfortably being bored yeah it's okay love this sit comfortably being bored can you come and parent me please yes i will i think i'm starting I really would like to do a parent podcast.

9:25I think me and Matthew would really like to do a parent podcast. Matthew's the deputy head in the school as well. So he comes from that. And I think a lot of it is our Caribbean background. We're our parents. My father was stupidly strict. I wouldn't want to be like him. My mum was much more lenient. But it's about that open conversation, making sure that you're very open with your children about life, about things that can happen, and making sure that they know it's a safe space. even so we've always said the rule that we do say tell us the truth because if you tell us the truth we can support you if you lie we can't yeah so if you still tell us the truth if you got into some trouble tell us the truth you know if you made a mistake and you've had unprotected sex and tell us that so all of those things i think it's really important for parents to understand the more you can have be that listening ear and of course you get cross and you get pissed off that they're not doing things right but that they can be open and engaged with you it's a safe space and that's one thing that i had with my mum i could tell my mum absolutely anything i went to the doctors at the top of my road with my mum to go on the pill i was like mommy i'm having sex and i was 15 and nine months and i went i was about 16 and one month and she said to me michelle the only thing i'd want you to do is i want you to use protection um because i don't want you to catch any stds and i want you to go on the pill because i don't fall pregnant now you've got too much ahead of you i didn't tell my dad says about 24 but my mom just having that safe space we want our children to be open and honest with us because they spend more time with their friends where they form that relationship so it's for you for us to say you know what i'm not i'm cross with you but i want you to know i've got your back if you tell me the truth oh again i just want to come in with you really let's get back to you michelle never mind kids and parenting who gives a toss I want to talk about going for gold.

11:21I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to stop. Henry Kelly, poor bugger. Yes. Can we go back, back to the start? How did you become an Olympian triple jumper? And why not a double jumper or a single jumper? When did you discover that the triple was jumping? Yes, you wanted to do. I think that for me, 12 years old, and I've shared this a lot in the public domain. I went to the track in Wembley, some Northwest London girl. went to the track in Wembley there's nobody to look after me on a Sunday morning I've got three older brothers my mum said you're not staying in bed and just having tea and toast come on come on you're the strongest Jamaican accent I said mommy but I don't I don't care what you want do come on so I went down to Vell Farm Sports Centre in Wembley and she said go and join that group over there and I went over to this group and I said you know look I want to do athletics I want to do sport in fact my mummy sent me here and the lady said go and get a pound so I went back interrupted to my mum.

12:14My mum was doing a class. I keep it class to rock your boat baby. I said, mummy, mummy, I need a pound. And she said, she said, in my handbag, stop bothering me. So I took the pound, went back to Mrs. Mack. And I said, here's my pound. And my mum still says today it's the best pound you've ever invested in her life. And that was the start of when I realised that I was good at sport. I had an ability. I was tall, long legged, huge tits, big afro. But I was very capable. By 15, I was doing long jump all the way through. By 19, I was at Crystal Palace. And yes, not too far from you guys. No, just down the road.

12:52Down the road, Crystal Palace, one of the iconic places. How old are you, Michelle? I'm 54 in October. So maybe while you were at Crystal Palace, like learning to be an Olympic long jumper, I was also at Crystal Palace Sports Centre, pretending I had a Veruca so I didn't have to do swimming oh golden memories gosh how different night you will pass you know it could have been me it could have been me we could have both been olympians with um not swimming for me though fucking hate it sorry sorry no swearing i don't like swimming oh no you can swear as much but um yeah crystal palace is iconic and um 19 years old i i was end of a long jump session and someone said try the triple jump and i did and i came down i broke the british record and i was like oh my god that's like i'm back in my trainers oh my god this and they were saying this girl's good blah blah and from there really it it took off obviously i knew beforehand i had a i had a talent i was ranked number one or two in the long jump in the country but if i'm being really honest i never felt that i would be talented enough to go to the commonwealth games or europeans for triple jump but i knew that for long jump but i knew for triple jump if i gave it my all i could end up in great places.

14:04So I went to Olympic Games in 1996. I went to three world championships in all over the world. Europeans, four Europeans, four Commonwealth Games. Met my husband at the Commonwealth Games too. Oh, was he in the Olympics as well? He was at the, playing rugby, rugby sevens for Wales. Oh my God. But what happens in those Olympic and Commonwealth villages? I heard that it's rife. Yeah. It's rife. Those villages, all those fit, energized people. The energy has to go somewhere. Is it just a big swingers party, the Olympics? It's just on. Well, it's not so much swingers, but, you know, you just have some fun.

14:42You have some fun. I mean, I've got to be honest with you, I don't think I actually had sex with anybody on the Olympic or World Championship circuit at the Olympics. Come on. Don't shit on your own doorstep. Don't shit on your doorstep. Or her doorstep. Or his doorstep. Or their doorstep. No, you're going to shit on her doorstep. Yeah, that was it. But yes, I met Matthew at the Commonwealth Games in 2002. And the story there, sorry, I know we'll digress it a little bit. No, no. But 2002, I walked into a really big breakfast area and there was this beautiful guy sitting on the table. And I went up to, I was with my best friend, Mars.

15:16And I said, Mars, that guy's beautiful. She said, where are you going? I said, I've got to go and tell him. She said, you can't just walk up to him. I said, of course you can. So listeners, listen here, yeah. If you see something and you want it, go and get it. What's the worst I can tell you? No. So he said to me, I said, can I have your number? he said no i went oh he said because i'm in something but i can i take yours and when i'm out of it i'll call you yes i was like okay right fair enough i was a little bit disturbed by it i was thinking fucking cheek but never mind i think that's upstander of course it's upstander and it's upstanding honest man and he didn't want any drama three months later he rang and i just going back a little bit I'd just come out of an abusive relationship with my ex-boyfriend so I was sharing the same house but it was over I was just going through procedures and everything else met Matt and Matt was a breath of fresh air went out of him October the 31st everything moved on I'd moved on from my ex-boyfriend and by the January of the following year I was pregnant with our first child who's Reese in May so we've been married 20 years in September oh my god so again if you see something that you want you've got to go for it you've got to be intentional my word for today is be intentional yes any burgers listening though that doesn't apply to you that doesn't apply to you that you're listening you're being touched you're gonna get a good kick in your head anyway on a softer tone um so yeah so that's that's what happened there so you do find really attractive people i think the most important thing that you find from sport is you find a community of people that have all got a major goal the same as yourself so you're all very driven you all want to do well where you are it's very diverse all different backgrounds you know socio-economical the backgrounds could be rich could be poor different religions and you just mix and mingle and that's the really nice thing about sport sport the arts you just mix and mingle and track and field you know track and field isn't one of those sports which is more like rugby which is very you know upper middle class and blah blah track and field if you can run you can run if you can jump you can jump and i think that's the nicest thing about track and field or if you're playing the video game if you can balance your lighter on the button absolutely and fiddle it really hard yeah are you good at track and field the video game i've never played oh i feel a challenge coming on i love that game let's film it yeah yeah i'm i'm not sporty at all but i'm interested in the mentality of sport and how close it is to performance and like in in my head it sort of feels like a sport you you you're either good at it or you're not you can do it or you can't do it and you know that quite quickly whereas it feels like with more like something comedy yes you've got to have funny bones but it's something you can learn and improve that and you can change your writing you can change it you can make up a character or you can change your act but with sport it is it more linear is it more like you're good or not i think the one thing we have to say here and i and i get my children to do affirmation boards and vision boards as well and one thing that's at the top of it hard work beats talent every day that were weak so you could i've seen girls that were more talented than me and a girl you know called kerry that was 14 and everyone's like oh my god you're competing against kerry kerry would kick our ass by about 60 centimeters by the time 19 came carry who so hard work beats talent if you've got a talent it helps but if you've got that work ethic to keep trying keep going keep exploring your options get the best team around you the best mentality the mindset all of these factors play into play really well into into your corner and you know and that's probably with you guys both being really successful comedians you know you've had to you know fine-tune yourselves and work on yourselves as well.

18:48Whether we like it or not, I'm a bloody comedian. Whereas I've got a brother, my brother Sean, who's naturally really funny without not even trying. But everyone's got their skill set and their craft and it's how much do you want to take it to the next level is what I say. So I'm about everybody doing an activity. Keep active, which is how me and you met Helen. We were really trying to create some really good stuff for Boots around people just being active. because being active helps you with your everyday life. How much of it though is about sacrifice? Do you feel that you had to give anything up to work that hard?

19:25Yes, but I'm going to say we probably, let's change the word sacrifice because somebody brought that to my attention a few years ago. Sacrifice is too strong felt. So like if I had to, you've got to give it up. It's a choice. I wanted to be in that Olympic stage. And if just for one minute you think to yourself, 90 ,000 people there at the Olympic Stadium on the night you're competing. You walk out with a GB tracksuit on. You look up in the corner and there's all the flags, the England flag, the GB flags. Your parents, your family, your friends, your teammates. It's quite an epic moment. You know, let alone to go out there and make an Olympic final.

20:01And then you obviously got your Dame Jessica in his heels and Dame Denise Lewis. You know, those guys are creme de la creme. You know, it's another level. so you know I think that it's sacrifices I wouldn't say but you definitely know that there's some things that you have to turn down yeah because you're not going to get the most out of yourself going into parties all night long and like I said to my kids there's no better party than an Olympic party hashtag just saying rugby players rugby players this player that players tennis players basketball players sprinters there's a lot men in lycra men in lycra women in lycra the whole shebang babes yeah maybe it's not too late helen maybe maybe you should give it a go we go for the masters ellie we go for masters yeah and my husband my husband always likes to quote this story about i think it's daily thompson who trained every single day like including christmas day that's important and um and someone said to him you know how did you motivate yourself to get up on Christmas Day and go and train.

21:05And he said, I thought to myself with every sort of move I was doing about how all my competitors were not training. That's right. I see that. Also, my husband likes to quote that, my 14-year-old son, about the fact he's not done his guitar since Tuesday and I can't get on board with it. I'm just like, he's not Daley Thompson. Ten minutes a day. And it's funny, you know, we laugh at this, but that's what I think it was with one of the really famous musicians about practicing 10 ,000 this a week. It's important. 10 minutes a day, we say to our son, he wants to be an aspiring footballer. We're like, Lige, let's be honest here, baby.

21:41You've got the talent. You've got the genetics, but you've got the mindset of getting out there without not being told. Do you want to practice? Because I'll tell you what, I can tell you some of those kids are starving hungry. They're out there kicking that ball. They are no gadgets. So that helps with the drive and the determination as well. Has there ever been a moment where the cost for you has felt too high. Yeah. There's times when I've been injured along my journey and you're financially unstable, because that is a bit, that is a sacrifice, because I get the job, I guess. And I thought, gosh, I'm not sure if I can do this.

22:18Specifically when I snapped my Achilles tendon in 2005, I said, you know what, I'm not doing this anymore. I'd already had one child. so I came back after recent carried on competing and he just said well well stop then if that's what you want to do and I said it is but I don't really want to stop and that's when you really wait up and think I'm not getting any funding why am I doing this and it comes back to your why and that's with everything in life let's bring it always back to you what is your why and if your why is important enough to you why are you not doing that and maybe sometimes you just need a break maybe you need a break you need a clean set of a clear set of fresh eyes you need to soundboard it you need to vision board you need to write it down this is my life coaching hat on as well write things down talk it through get a non-biased opinion and I say to a lot of people don't be surrounded by yes people around you that will always say your ideas yeah yeah that's brilliant that's brilliant that's brilliant talk to different people and then you sit down and say actually I might need a break from this in order to come back again because I think I think people are very quick to quit things and we're always talking in the negative like yeah i'll never be yeah i'll never be a runner or i'm not this i'm not that i could never be and we we're our own worst enemies absolutely we put a lot of blockers up um and if not you then who that's yeah well well daily thompson forget him he's not unsharved with robinson lovely i love daily let's go i remember ellie and i we met with their lovely sunita elaine years ago when we're starting out and because she was she you know I really admire her and she was um you know she was on the board of the BBC she's this amazing woman now she's head of Jesus College in Cambridge and your daughter's yeah mentor and we sat down with her and she was like well how much do you want to earn a month and you know why not why no she kept saying and when she said like numbers and things like that um I was like oh I couldn't even imagine see earning money from comedy or I couldn't even imagine aiming that high but actually someone planting the seed going just aim a little higher aim a little bit that's right and you said 18 pounds a month yeah we are we're nearly there we are nearly there 18 pounds on pits yeah 18 we invest that we invest that yeah yeah but it is but it is really you know we we laugh about it but it is true you know and it is and all these things that you do out there is to encourage people as inspired as and to be aspired by thinking, do you know what?

24:45I can do a little bit more. I know I wanted to hit the global circuit. I want to be a speaker on the global circuit. I visualised it already. A packed out auditorium in America. I want to be there. I would like to be the new Michelle Griffith-Roddleton show. I would like you to be the new president of America, Michelle. Do you think you could visualise that, please? I mean, to be honest, I'd take Mr. Blobby at this point, but you'd be amazing. You'd be amazing. I'd take my bloody dog Preaker at the minute. I'd take a marshmallow on a stick. Me too. And roast it. But I would say, you know, it's about visualising and why not?

25:19You know, people, we tend to dream small and then we tend to, oh, don't bother. And then you've got people around you saying, why are you doing that? I remember being 15 and someone saying to me, we said, I want to go to Olympics. I'm sure you're going to know Olympics. That was silly. You're good, but you ain't that good. I'm like, that's your projection because you're jealous because I'm going to make it. and actually I didn't know what projection meant all these different words that we say now but actually that was somebody feeling like gosh she ain't gonna really make it you know no one really trusted and believed in me a couple of peer teachers kind of thought I could be good my mum my mum said but my mum's mrs positive she'd say Michelle if you want it go for it what's stopping you and it's all these things that I've now taken on from my mum with my daughter So graduating from Cambridge and getting a double first class on this in terms of reasons, if you want it, what's stopping you?

26:09But making those targets realistic, having the support around you so that they can help you to get what you want. And, you know, I think that's another thing. You need a support team around you. You need that. It's not going to happen overnight. No, it's not going to happen overnight. You've got to slowly build, but you do need to be realistic and get a team around you that backs you. And you've got to back yourself. and I suppose it doesn't happen for everybody and I think a lot about these kids because where we live in Crystal Palace there's a lot of kids who want to be footballers and kids get picked up by academies and then they that's they don't do A-levels or whatever they go and they do this football and then they're told at 18 or whatever you're not good enough yeah and they're left with nothing yeah and of course I'm not saying therefore they shouldn't try yeah I'm totally with you on you should go for what you want that's what Helen and I have always done you should absolutely aim how you should absolutely what's fear what's stopping you often it's fear of failure or loss and i believe that you should try to put that to one side and do it anyway at the same time i'm thinking about the people who do fail who don't get there and and how to manage that so again it's it's my son's in an academy so it's really apt that you said that he's with bristol city academy signed with them a year a year and a half ago now so elijah's with them and next year he's in with them for another year and then they review and it's every two years after that and you see we how far you got the chain however what we've said to elijah is lige that's why your school work is vital yeah why it's vital for you to continue your trumpet as well because it it just keeps you gives you different strings to your to your bow so you're saying to him go for it go for it the reality is you might not make it the reality is i'm very honest about it i and again i guess because both me and Matthew are very successful in our sporting journey.

28:01We don't have to live our life for our kids, which a lot of people do. So we see it at the football. We see it a lot at the football ground, for example, when parents are getting quite cross, shouting at the referee, vicariously living their lives through their kids. We don't want to do that and we don't have to do that. So what we do is say, right, Lige, you're going to play your football. What we have said is we'll take you all because it's four days a week. I would say it's about being realistic go for it but have something in place so it's about finding out what that person really loves because you are right people fail but what we don't want is I've watched a lot of X Factor Michelle we've got a lot of them people that could sing better than me and they're nowhere now yeah but the good thing is they gave it a go yeah and I think you always learn something from it everything you do every situation you learn You've got to take something from it.

28:55But I think it's about, I think I would be more upset as an individual if I never gave it a go. Yeah. Then if I gave it a go, I failed. The good stuff is always on the other side of risk. Absolutely. Like, you know. Absolutely. When you go on holiday, you go on a play. There's a risk in that. Risk. But why, you know. When you get there, absolutely. So I think that's probably a really important message for us to really get across. give it a go because nobody knows where it may lead to but if you don't give it a go we certainly know you're going anywhere i think that's it isn't it it's weighing up the misery of failure versus the misery of not trying either yeah yeah hi all this is kim and pen holderness from lifeline summer is here which means it's officially travel season and when you're out there making plans you need somewhere reliable to stay that's why best western is such a solid option this summer get 1 ,000 bonus points and a chance to win 250 ,000 bonus points.

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30:26You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. Midlife needs Midi. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit today. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone.

31:01Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you. How did you get into life coaching? Because obviously you've got a natural sort of enthusiasm and also you want others to do well. You can feel that. I want to be a cheerleader, especially my brand is empowering women and girls at every stage and every age. So that's like really fueling them with confidence to try different things, talking about their health, their well-being, you know sharing deep stories their trauma their generational trauma that they carry in so I'm I'm I got into life coaching in 2014 I started mentoring in 2009 um I retired from tracking field in 2006 I had my children two or two of my children and it was a natural progression for me from being a personal trainer so I've been a personal trainer for 26 years but I felt that how every time I had a client um they would come talking to me about different bits and pieces I said you know what they don't really need me training them to lose weight you know they need Yes, I said, I didn't want to be a counsellor.

32:08So let me look into mentoring, life coaching. And that's what I do. Tomorrow ain't promised, you know. Make the most of this shit. Live it. Do what you want. Do it to the best of your ability. Don't hurt people. Be kind. Do your talent. Be a cheerleader. Share it. Don't gatekeep information. And I think that way you're happy and content with your life. Yeah. If you follow those kind of, you know, that general rule. Help people, man. Sure. Why would you not? yeah some people are assholes michelle we know that just don't help just help the nice ones that's how charity works you're right you can but you can only help those that want to be helped you can only help those that you know that are there but you know what we're all going to need some help at some point yeah yeah i i can give out the good stuff i give out the good stuff man and i feel it you know the amount of um podcasts i've done and like photo shoots i've done we have I've said one or two things and I've had people reach out to me after and say, Mish, thank you for bringing that to my attention.

33:11You know, I work for Women's Aid as an ambassador for them, which is a domestic abuse charity. There's two makeup artists that have helped come out of abusive relationships from being in a fashion show, a photo shoot with them. And just for me, just talking about my experience coming out of an abusive relationship, they were like, oh my God, Michelle, you as an abusive relationship, but you're an Olympian. How did that happen for you? And I'm like, because it can happen. You know, and again, just breaking down the stereotypes and the stigma about so many things. Don't gatekeep information. Share it as much as you can.

33:44Yeah, there's always room at the table. Amen. Where do you start with that when someone maybe reveals to you that they're in an abusive relationship? I mean, I haven't been in one, so I wouldn't know. But I mean, how do you even begin? Because obviously, I know it's really hard to say to people, just leave. It's not as simple as that. I do understand that's not how that works. So first of all, this is an important thing here. And if this is one thing that you get your pen and paper and you write it down, never tell your friend to leave an abusive relationship because sometimes it's more, they're more at risk leaving there and then.

34:16So hear them out, listen to what they've got to say, signpost them to the relevant charities that are out there, Refuge or Women's Aid, because sometimes they need exit routes that need to be planned carefully in order to get out safely. So, you know, where do you start? You listen. You know, I listen a lot to people say, you know, and I just say, okay, why do you feel you deserve to be treated like this? And when you speak it out and you ask these open questions, which I'm not expecting everybody to be a life coach because it's not their bag, it's not their job, but just asking these questions of how do you think that will impact you?

34:49How will you work that one out? What support do you need? I think these are the really nice, important opening statements that we've got to think about saying rather than just leave him. What are you doing that for? Why are you staying with him? you know because there's a numerous reasons why somebody will and i say why being a male as well saying talking about male because 87 of the perpetrators are male of course we do hear the odd 13 that are women but the majority are men that are abusers to women so i've been with the charity now for five years and um we do some magical stuff and just last weekend i went to um Mel B's wedding and Mel B's our patron on Women's Aid as well.

35:31Because she was also in Abuse Realtor for over 10 years alleged Abuse Realtor for over 10 years and again it's about you know she's done everything she can to raise the profile of what abuse looks like. It's about again I say your toolbox get your imaginary toolbox and fill it up with as much information as you can so that you can make good informed decisions when it's right for you. hmm and do you find that as well women need different i'm not talking specifically about abusive situations now um because i've been thinking a lot recently about how i found that you know when what one thing i didn't realize before i have kids was that you have this baby right and it's you know hopefully brilliant and uh then the baby sort of becomes a toddler and the baby sort of goes away and they're almost like different beings i mean then you get a child then you get a teenager and they go for all these phases and i hadn't realized that i had kids yeah that that is bittersweet isn't it that you you go through all this but this constant iterating you don't notice it because you're up close and then recently I've started to realize I think that's true of adults as well I sort of in my head I sort of thought oh you get to about 25 30 don't you and you just sort of sit there and just that's how you a lot of people say oh I'm 45 but I still feel the same I did when I was 30 and I'm not sure that's true for me anymore for everybody or I see you know older people and I see that actually um maybe we also iterate and maybe we are a different person to who we are 10 years ago maybe we do have different mindset different values so what do you think that's true first of all and what sort of things do you do you think we need at our age in our 40s and 50s well I think for one I think you're right that we go for a transition we change we we grow and I'm going to say we grow a lot in our power and our glory as we get older because we take some of that wisdom that we didn't have before.

37:21We get rid of some of those insecurities that we had before and we now turn them into our superpowers. So it's quite liberating in your 40s and 50s. And if you've got any younger listeners out there, trust me, when you get to 40, you start to really kick ass. When you get to 50, you don't give an absolute shit. And by 60, which will be a good seven, eight years from now for me, sorry, I can't count, five, six years for me from October, you really are just on your Zoom. so I think that you do go through transitional stages I think your core values remain the same however your attitude to life definitely changes so you realize that actually this is the better second half of my life now I haven't got time to worry about foolishness no time to hold grudges no time to not do stuff and more time to start doing stuff so I think that changes I'm now 53 three and a half, I feel really, really good about myself.

38:14I feel probably the best I've felt. Probably trained not as much as I have done recently. But in terms of inner peace, I feel so at peace. I feel grateful, ladies. I feel grateful. And it takes those stepping stones where you can hit rock bottom one year. You know, 18 months ago, I lost my sister-in-law. And even now it makes me feel up because she just died. she just was gone 51 years old she just died and um that rocked me and i know that if she was here she'd be like mish you're doing so well keep kicking ass babe i saw you in hello magazine i saw you in central court at wimbledon she'd be my cheerleader and i don't have her around anymore but i have her around because i know how pleased and happy she'd be for me my family so sometimes Ladies, if you're listening to this, take stock, sit down, reflect on the journey you've travelled.

39:10Because when we just rush into the next thing, you never sit comfortable with what you've achieved. When was the last time you two both sat down and thought, bloody hell, we've done well, you know? I mean, we do have a lot of lunches where we... You have lunches. But do you say, do you genuinely, and great if you do, please, I'm glad if you do. when you sell out big orders in Cardiff, do you not sit and feel, I'm so proud of what we've created? Yes. You do. Because a lot of women don't. Don't feel great. They're always onto it. Well, I didn't do that. And I didn't look good on that. I'm like, no, stop.

39:45Take stock of what you've done and what you've achieved. You're raising children. You're doing your best. Yes, you might drop the ball here and there. That's actually normal too. Yes, you might not go for a Rocky Patrick, your husband. That's normal too. you might go for a divorce that's normal too cut yourself some slack you're doing the best you can oh I like to check in with the with my younger self because you know I grew up in a tiny town we didn't have much money in Australia I was really bullied I was called weird and you know lots of people said I couldn't do things I was ostracized like you know I was uh isolated because I liked set music or I wore certain clothes and but I was lucky I had parents who there you go who you know encouraged me to be myself and yeah and most days I try now to kind of just check in with that kid who kind of dreamed a bit big but also I go yeah when I'm standing on stage with Ellie in front of 500 people come on I every I'm like this is incredible come on yes I am incredible, Michelle.

40:51I'm Ellie. You're right to look at me like that. You're bloody right, baby girl. I've got you, Ellie. I saw it firsthand. You're saying that bullshit. You ain't skimming me, baby. I saw it. She's incredibly lucky and she should be so grateful. She should be so grateful that you both got each other. So grateful and also so humble. That's me all over. Grateful and humble. Humbly and grateful. I love it. Humbly and grateful sounds like a bakery in East Dulwich, but anyway. It does. Humbly and grateful in East Dulwich. With custard, yes. I love that. Oh, yeah. No, I know. But also I know it's that balancing act of, I guess, you know, and I'm sure, you know, because I'm writing this book at the moment about women who change them, who experience change after loss.

41:35Wow. And all the people, you know, there's like, you know, people going through cancer or death or really big, really hard things. And all of them are just incredibly, they said, they just see life so differently. and that like it does give a new lease. Yeah. Because a new lease. Once you come out of that state, you'd start to think, gosh. And also they just cut through the bullshit. They're like, I don't have time for this. So kind. No, I don't want shit people in my life. No. No bastards. Nope. And sometimes it's good, you know, again, ladies, especially when you get menopausal, dry vaginas.

42:09Mine's is no longer dry. I did check in with my husband the other day, though. I said to him, Matt, is it still moist down there? He said, yeah, it's very moist, baby. You don't have to worry about that. Oh, yeah. sorry guys I just thought I'd drop that in thank you Matt little sit rep you know you've got to have someone to hold you accountable as well you need a little sit rep definitely bit like checking the oil in the car dipstick dipstick dipstick I ain't taking to the garage I have to get checks wow you can't get fitter than a quick fit it rolls off your tongue she knows it's only in there Ellie's like a jukebox did you have that advert in Australia no Can't get fitter than a quick lit fitter.

42:49They're the boys to trust. Often, though, they rip you off. They must be overpriced. But anyway, they were. They're probably not as overpriced now because people stopped going to them, didn't they? Oh, listen, the Mount Halford charges for a new tyre. It's possible. I ain't going Halfords. No. Get that. I'm going to my little man down the road. Exactly. I'm going to Sydenham tyre. And it's going to be absolutely fine. Let me tell you. That's their tagline. Absolutely fine. I love it. You don't ask where the tyre came from. No, no, no. You do not ask why it's that cheap. You just let the man put it on the car.

43:16Don't say retreads. Retread. Oh, goodness me. Well, thank you, Michelle. You've talked incredibly movingly and inspirationally. But I really want to ask you, what's Mel B's wedding like? Oh, my God. Come on. Come on. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. I can't say. Was it a Mariner? Did you have to sign an NDA or are you just a good person? No, you just know not to say. in all honesty from being very transparent and everything else it was a very we had an amazing hindu we went to Tunisia we had an amazing time I love that you were all in leopard print all in leopard print unbelievably awesome so brilliantly organised by her sister and all and Danielle it was wonderful 36 of us went to Tunisia we had the most wonderful time did you go to where they filmed Star Wars?

44:04I don't know what sort of hindu is that? if you go to the Star Wars is that where they filmed Tunisia? yeah that's because you're not a massive nerd don't worry about that you and my husband get on well and sci-fi we're coming to stay come and stay and ask where i live but um yeah it was very well coordinated it was wonderful and what was really nice about that was being with women that majority of them i didn't know and that we just connected superbly well and they will be my lifelong friends now and that's down to mel giving us that introduction so the hen do was fantastic the wedding was absolutely beautiful she looked beautiful and which is obviously atst paul's and it's in the press and everything else but she looked wonderful and um i wish her and rory all the very best oh to start our show with a spice girl song well i wasn't there a nerdy spice i'm gonna audition i say bring it back yeah who do you which spice do you want to be oh hungry spice you got your cat for that baby yeah what about you michelle if you were a spice what spice would you be hot spice because i like hot i like hot food.

45:07Oh, okay. Spicey spice. I like spicy spice. And I'm hot. Yeah. I'm fucking fit, man. Yeah. Bindaloo spice. I'm into it. Bindaloo spice. Ellie? What? Nerdy spice. Nerdy spice. Nerdy spice. Nerdy spice. Yes, I like that. Yeah, yeah. Geek spice. Yeah. Nothing sexier or cooler than video games. Helen, you know that. Star Wars spice. Touch my joystick. Oh, my God. No one's used a joystick for 25 years. But never mind. It's been pressed on. Moving on. Moving on nicely. Oh, it's just my frame of reference. Oh, my God. Let's lower the tone, Ellie. Yes, let's do it. Let's do Scummy Mummy Confessions, Helen.

45:40Excellent. We were on tour last week. We did four nights. Four nights. We did Lancaster, Eastleigh, Buxton and Litchfield. And it was a lot of driving. It was quite a time. Good moment. Yeah, really full on. And we were on our way to Lancaster and we had the wrong hotel. Yes, there was an admin mix up and we ended up at the wrong. Yeah, so a bit tired and, you know, anyway, we were a bit convobulated. And then we realised we're the wrong thing anyway. And I was like, oh, God, anyway. And then I turned to this person and I said, oh, thank you, sir. But when I looked at the person, the person was not a sir.

46:20It was a shame. Michelle, the person wasn't even a person who looks like they might be a they or like masculine. It was a lady with long blonde hair and enormous false eyelashes. And it was your very short skirt. Yes. So what was your confusion? I was very tired Lord them colour blind and then I was like oh my god it's like you know when you're like everything's just going wrong and then I insulted this woman she's like that's fine oh gosh I think she was a bit drunk I think she was she was thank goodness probably being called worse you know she was a wanker it was just the way you did it so plain thank you sir like that's your bow to then like it slipped off you then rolled off your tongue I know I know I think I had like that moment you know when your brain And then afterwards Ellie said, can you just try like 10 % more?

47:06She calls it and trade. Just 10, Ellie. That's all I want, Michelle. I don't want 10. I'm not even asking for 25. Just 10 % more. I'm not asking for Daley Thompson. We're not asking for going for gold, Henry Kelly. Going for gold. Oh, my God. You know that's going to haunt me tonight in my bed, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, now have you got a confession for us, Michelle? So my daughter Eden, who's now 18, she was nine years old. so she said mommy mommy mommy with um a picture from school taking her to uh tap to tap a modern class said mommy mommy mommy i got my school report today i said how'd you get on done and she said yeah i got um all ones ones was the top mark you can get for real effort but um and and she's a brilliant at maths she's just done maths a level she said and but i got a two stroke free for maths because the teacher said i was talking way too much so um but yeah every girls i got ones for i said eden say it again she said i got a two stroke free for maths listen i spun the car around turned it back up the hill i said we ain't going to happen ballet no more forget this shit you can't be getting a two stroke free for maths took her home sat on the table for an hour and half worst worst parent in the world oh but you know what from that day she realized two stroke free for effort doesn't work in my house two stroke free for attainment or a four five because Not everyone's good at stuff.

48:28Yeah. But you've got to try your best. From that day, she learnt that. So listen here, parents. I know you're slagging me off here. Because I taught her that lesson, she did maths A-level. She will do very well in August when the result comes in. But it put a seed in her. Mummy says, try your best. You don't have to be brilliant at it, but you've got to try. So that's my parent fail. But she never danced again. And she was not really a dancer. Although she will be an Olympic health athlete. But I like the remaining that, Michelle. I owned it, yeah. We spoke about it. The reason why it came to mind is because my girls were talking about it last night.

49:02So we had a laugh about it last night. But I want to add something else. My best story, which nobody asked me this. Travelling to Olympic Games and that we were told you're not allowed to be late for the flight to the Olympic Games. It's in a letter. If you're late, you're not going. You don't get another flight? No, that's it. That's your flight, doll. Yeah. So you know you've got to be there early. So I lived in London at the time. So I'm travelling to Gatwick. So I'm north-west London to Gatwick. Harrow is where we lived. So we get there, order the cab. It's my mum, my two brothers and me travelling to Gatwick.

49:34On the M23 we hear, tyres blow down. So no panic, they've got another tyre. My taxi man didn't have another tyre. So my brothers, just saying, wanted to string him up and hang him. He said, where's your tyres? they're getting all heated but this time now I'm thinking they said if you're late you're not getting on the flight yeah I stood on the M23 thumbing a lift in my Olympic tracksuit oh my god and I got a lift from a man from British Airways came and picked me up and took me to the Olympic took me to London Gatwick because I had to thumb a lift because the taxi broke down oh parents didn't get to see me off but I got there you hitchhiked to the Olympics I hitchhiked this is awesome the stuff of legends and that's what winners do they hitchhike no don't don't Don't really do that.

50:22No, no, no, no. Don't issue you like that. Nobody do that. But it was in 1996 and it was a little bit safer than now. It's a different time. Yes. Don't do it now. And I had on my Olympic track suit too. Have you still got your Olympic track suit? I have still got my Olympic track suit. It fits really well, nice and snug. Oh, God. Oh, man. It's pretty exciting. And do you go to the Olympics to watch now? Yeah, I go to. We get one free ticket every, for the Triple Jump, I get one free ticket every Olympic Games. We will be there in LA. hopefully my daughters are competing there um so it'll be in 2028 and yeah i love the olympic games i love what athletics and sport has afforded me it's afforded me a wealth of experience that has allowed me to um go on and do other things i get i say again helen i don't think it's too late for us i know no i'm gonna do shot put because that's when i always won at school sure okay yeah what can i do is there darts can you do high jump you can't high jump i can't i'm having a partial knee replacement on the 1st of september michelle is there not like a tomb raider event do you win them pub quizzes and all that i wouldn't say i always win a pub quiz but i like a pub quiz usually top five i'm always top 55 stop my skills there no we've all got our different no oh well thank you so michelle it's been amazing to have a podcast thank you both for having me where can people uh follow you and see all your business so see my business i'm at michelle griffith robinson oly on instagram you can also my website is also the same and michelle griffith robinson oly oly means olympian um i'm on twitter as robinson oly which i don't use as much because sometimes twitter's a bit a bit negative for me but they'll find me but i always say this to everybody else thank you so much for finding me but more importantly go and find yourselves a send-off ellie we don't do a send-off that's amazing i'm gonna go and find myself now i'll See you later.

52:11It'll be about seven minutes. Anyway. We should tell people we're on tour. Starting in September, we're going back on the road. We're going to Red Ruth Ellie in Cornwall. We're going to Exeter. We've got a very big show in Catford on the 14th of November. Three hot shows in Twickenham, scummymummies.com, for details on the live shows. And, of course, tell your friends about the podcast. And also we're on Instagram as well. I think that's it, isn't it? They'll do. They'll do. it's Ellie's birthday on the 12th of October mine on the 30th of October and mine's on the 6th of October thank you oh there you go we could have a triple a triple triple reunion a triple jump yes let's do let's do one each I'll do a hop yeah I'll do the step we'll get down the cat foot track it's never locked and no one's ever there thank you again Michelle it's been amazing my pleasure ladies thank you so much for having me and thank you as always for listening listener until next time goodbye bye bye

53:17It's a massive commitment. Yeah. And financial too, I'm being honest. You know, driving him to Bristol. That's a cat. That's a cat phoning about the financial commitment. Yeah, tell me about it. Yes, queen! This cat even knows that it's a big financial commitment. He's feeling it. I'm sorry, I better feed him. He hasn't... Well, he looks like he's wasting away. look at the size of him he's part pad but I'm sorry darling what are you feeding him on I've got just an adult it's rich in turkey he's massive he needs a Zen pick he's pretty chonky how old is he Alan I got him in 2020 so he's 5 you got him from Kit Down Yeah, yeah, yeah.

54:06Five stone. You're too early. He's 7.7 kilos. Jesus, like them. Yeah. He's like three times the size of an average cat. He's a big boy. Yeah, very pretty. We like big boys. I know. He's a chonk. We like that. He's a good spooner. Hi, all. This is Kim and Pen Holderness from Lifeline. Summer is here, which means it's officially travel season. And when you're out there making plans, you need somewhere reliable to stay. That's why Best Western is such a solid option. This summer, get 1 ,000 bonus points and a chance to win 250 ,000 bonus points. So wherever you're headed, make it count with this limited time offer.

54:43Life's a trip. Make the most of it at BestWestern.com. No additional purchase necessary for sweeps. See bonus points, T's and C's and sweeps rules for details and visit BestWestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course? can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone.

55:18Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you. Thumbtack presents Uncertainty Strikes I was surrounded The aisle and the options were closing in There were paint rollers Satin and matte finish Angle brushes and natural bristles There were too many choices What if I never got my living room painted? What if I couldn't figure out what type of paint to use? What if I just used Thumbtack? I can hire a top-rated pro that knows everything about interior paint Easily compare prices and read reviews Thumbtack knows homes Download the app today.