316: Just the Two of Us - Confessions Special

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0:36Hello scumbags, this is the Scummy Mummies podcast with your hosts Ellie Gibson and Helen Thorne.

0:49Hello and welcome to the Scummy Mummies podcast. I'm Ellie Gibson. And I'm Helen Thorne. Sorry, I shouldn't have started this podcast while taking a sip of tea. Do you know what it is i'm too relaxed helen i'm too relaxed because uh we haven't got a guest here so i just feel like it's just me and you having a chat which is basically what is which i'm gonna say is what podcasting used to be helen in the good old days when we invented it exactly right let's let's hark back to do you know what is nearly 12 years to the day that we started the podcast so we're going back to our roots oh my goodness me this is like a 12 year anniversary special yeah and back then there were only like five other podcasts in the world and like nobody cared about production values or good content or editing or you know it was all quality yeah it was just old-fashioned talking just old-fashioned talking what's wrong with that what's wrong with that nothing we're fucking raw dogging it we are raw dogging you uh yes this is like this is like final lps It's like fixed gear bicycles.

1:53It's cool, Ellie. Yeah. Single origin coffee. It's like conceiving a child by cutting a hole in a sheet and having missionary. That's what this is. This is authentic.

2:05We're so vulnerable right now, Ellie. We're so ill. Why don't we, as this is, let's get real intimate stuff. What's wrong with us? Let's talk about our various ailments. What's wrong with you? Well, currently I've got a massive infection in my tooth and gums. I've got an abscess. I've got sort of slightly old knees and I'm just feeling a bit greasy as well. I'm quite tired and I'm full of sort of stress because I've had a recent sort of eruption in my life as well. Yes, physical and emotional. Over to you, Gibson. Well, I've got two bad knees. I'm having a knee operation in September, so that's something to look forward to.

2:46I've also got tendinitis in my wrist, which I believe I have given myself by playing a video game called Balatro Too Much on my phone. Because you've heard of tennis elbow. Well, let me introduce you to Balatro wrist. That's right. So I've got one of these phones that folds open. It's actually quite heavy. And I've been holding it in my left hand to play Balatro. And yeah, I got this tendinitis. I went to see the GP and he's like, you've got tendinitis. Have you been doing any sport? And I was like, no. And he's like, repetitive things. I was like, no. I mean, I have been playing a lot of Balatro.

3:23And then I've realised that the more I play Balatro, the worse it gets. And if I have a day off, which is very difficult. Yeah. So it's my own fault. But I will say it's one of the best video games I've ever played. If I was on a desert island, I'd just want Balatro because, yeah. Anyway, so if you like video games and want to risk personal injury, why not play Balatro? On a very large phone. on a really massive phone. Also, I can also play on the PlayStation. That doesn't hurt my wrist, so I should probably do that. But we're on tour all the time. I can't take my PS5 on tour. No, no. And sometimes you sacrifice things for the joy in your life, Ellie.

3:59Exactly. And you've sacrificed. So what's very funny, though, that we've been on tour, it's sort of like a comedy thing. We've been on tour with your dad, who, you know, he's getting on a bit in age. So he's got that. You've got bad knees and a bad wrist. And I've got a cough today as well. Yeah, a little cough. I've got various ailments. So the three of us combined touring around has been quite the scene. And then we've had Steve, miserable Steve this week, who's got a bad back. So as he said, it's like last of the summer wine. Yeah. And it's got to the point where we turn up at these theatres.

4:34And if we're lucky, there's a team of people in black shorts and T-shirts. And they sort of look at me with my wrist splint on and you with your swollen face and Steve like stretching his back out and they go yeah we'll help you with the props and then and they appear with trolleys bless them and muscles and that's that's how we survive so we'd like to say thank you to all those men and the women who have helped us um basically just be able to do our job yeah we're very much feeling like the end of the war yeah like we're limping it's like the end of the school term yeah end of we've just done the first big leg of the hot mess tour we've done 40 massive shows yes driven I mean hundreds and hundreds of miles around the country I can't even like I wake up in a premier inn I don't know where I am yeah I looked at the van yesterday the dashboard and you know so not just this tour but we got the van in 2018 I think yeah 2019 I've made remember it being really not long before lockdown so it became a massive economic drain and we were yes yes we heavily invested in something that was pretty much redundant yeah down yeah and i saw on the and it was new when we loaned it and um we've done over 40 000 miles helen we don't use it for personal use so that's not just hot mess tour but that's all our touring the last well you did have to return that rug to do now i did i did take the rug back to do now in fact keith did yeah yeah that's a that's a another story listener so i bought i ordered online a rug from do now and i did that thing where like you measure i did measure it like I measured the space and then I sort of went I'd probably be all right I didn't really look at the numbers that closely I just went it'll be fine it turns out that's not how space works or numbers work no you can't just shrink it like a Microsoft document or something like that just do that so the rug arrived it was too big and um so I folded it up and of course it was too big to go in my car you can't just send it back you've got to take it back to do now to the shop so I put it in the tour van um to do that and then of course forgot it was there and then we get to some theatre like 300 miles away and you open the van and you're like why is there a rug in our van and i was like oh i'll sort it out next time go home did i take that rug out the van or take it back to do now melen no no no it came to milton key okay it went all the way to lancaster buxton it had quite it had quite the two of that rug it did but in my defense i couldn't take it out of the van on my own because of my crap velatro wrist and Pete just didn't bother so I'm putting on him that's what I'm doing.

7:08Absolutely. Anyway the point is that's a fascinating and hilarious anecdote for you everyone but what are we doing today Helen? Well as a special treat we thought we would dip into all the wonderful confessions that we've been collecting for the Hot Mess Tour. Yes. So we've done 40 shows and oh that's thousands and thousands and thousands of confessions that have come through. And honestly, and we always say this, listener, the confessions are the best bit of our live show. The funniest things we couldn't, and as you'll discover, if you keep listening to the podcast, they are like you could never imagine.

7:44Yes, there's some real, real zingers this tour. So for this podcast, we're going to have a lucky dip because we've got a bag with just the confessions we've had from this first leg of the Hot Mess Tour. And by the way, we're not even halfway through the Hot Mess Tour. We are having a break now for the summer, aren't we? Yes, exactly right. But then we've got loads of gigs booked for the rest of the year. And indeed, we're booking well into 2026. We're only really a quarter of the way through the Hot Mess Tour. I mean, yes, that is assuming we both survive to the end, which... Things are just falling off.

8:15Things are going wrong. Pretty sure one of us is just going to keel over at some point. Yes, yeah. But anyway, we'll keep limping along. But honestly, but as we said, like we've been through, we were saying this the other night, like we have done shows when I was on the brink of having a burst appendix. Yes. I think you were possibly in labour once when we did a show or pre-labour. Pre-labour. And then we did a show, yeah, 10 days after I'd had an emergency cesarean section. We, yeah, we did, you know, you had penicis. I'm sure there was some other terrible medical affliction. We've definitely done loads of shows.

8:49One of us got the flu or, you know, some sort of awful affliction. yeah um what we were saying was basically very badass and very you know we're extremely hardcore but also very whingy so what what a combo that is it but it's been an absolute joy we must we must one day get some nerdy stats about how many shows we've done and all that sort of thing you know i love a stat yeah no i like my numbers and yet neither of us can be bothered to actually look those up it's funny isn't it yeah yeah weird combo yeah and by the way sorry if there's any creaking we're coming to you live from my premiere in room in where are we stevenage stevenage oh my god i know i know i was like no because we're going to cheltenham tonight yeah and i was like but sometimes i'm already there you know like oh that's the next day's cheltenham and we stayed in a premiere in last night so and then we're in one i just feel like i sort of live in a hall of residence and i keep having to go no it's you're in a different premiere and they just look the saying yeah um so that's where we are anyway but not a not a travelodge a premier in now as well as reading the confessions as a bit of fun it's going to be sort of a bit of a test for helen um i'm not even going to attempt to enter the test because here's the thing helen's got an amazing memory about the different theaters we visit and the particular shows there and what i i my brain just does not log this information i don't know if it's just not interested in it but like she'll be like you remember that theater in so and so we've been there three times I can't picture it I don't know what she'll be like the seats are this colour and the dressing room was this big and the person doing the lights was called this and I'll be like no no if you told me I'd never been there in my life I'd absolutely believe you so it's going to be a test for you if you can remember which show each confession we pick oh I'm going to enjoy this challenge actually because I yes I do that I am sort of like like the external hard drive for the tour for the archive I don't have a lot of practical skills but I will have I can remember yes it was Ian on the front desk in Barnsley.

10:45Yeah, something like that. I feel like you're the historian and I'm like the futurist. So like I'm in charge, I'm in charge with Inger, our tour manager, of booking the future gigs. And I love it. Like I love like getting the map out. I'm like Claire Danes in Homeland. There's all bits of bridge. If we went to Stevenson and then Cheltenham and then on the way back, we could go to Reading and like working it all out like that. Yeah. And your skill set is logging the previous adventures. So together, again, what a combo. Yeah. Anyway, we're babbling now. Should we just crack on? Two bodies, one brain.

11:15Yeah. Okay, let's go. No, I think you should go first. All right. With your good hand. Having a rummage with my non-balatro hand. Okay, here we go. Oh, it's a nice, juicy, long one. Oh, lovely. I went to an Anne Summers party and got drunk and was persuaded to buy various items. Oh, I was drunk. I was drunk. Oh, I didn't know what I was doing. Sorry, officer. Including a huge pink vibrator. I just couldn't get on with it. I love that. I remember this one. Oh, excellent. I couldn't get on with it. No. It's like a Peloton or like a new pair of shoes. I just couldn't get on. Oh, the microwave buttons were too confusing.

11:54But then what do you do? How do you get rid? My inspiration was to bury it in a bag of rubbish to throw away. Only the bin men had a mishap and the bag split. I had a knock on my door to a grinning bin man saying, I think you lost something. I was mortified. It's presently in my loft in a box. Don't do that! So that when you die, your children will be like, we'd better clear out Mum's loft. Oh, my God! But she didn't even get on with it. No, she didn't get on with it. It wasn't even her favourite. How do you dispose of a sex toy? I mean, I've never really thought about that. What do you do? No, I just keep them in a bag under my bed.

12:33Have you ever chucked down a dildo or a vibrator? No, I don't think so. They're just in the archive. Oh, God, think of the landfill. I know. Somewhere there's a huge pile of enormous throbbing 10-inch... Presumably you have to take them because there's like a small electricals thing at the dump, isn't there? Yes, there's one down the road opposite the mini Sainsbury's in my neighbourhood. I think I would hide them in a... If I was getting rid of an old microwave, I'd hide them in the microwave and then take that to the electrics. That's a good idea. Yes. yes or high dominion dehydrator if you're trying to evade a murder charge but anyway topical topical um yes i i like that and that did very well i remember i can't i i can't remember where that was from but it was recent i think it was in the last couple of weeks it may have been i think it may have been milton keen's we like that we commend you all right i better have a dip then hang on hang on hang on oh and they're all different colors i went what color will i go with it Maybe yellow.

13:36Not me, but my nephew stuck a dog shit up the exhaust of his dad's motorbike.

13:44That requires quite a lot of skill. It's collecting the dog shit. It's like, where do I put this? Yeah. Stuck it in. Presumably it was a dried dog poo as well. Yes, because the floppy one would not do the job. No, that's excellent. Excellent. All right, next one. All right, you go in, Ellie. Oh, this is good. This is good. I often look at my dogs and wonder if I love them more than my kids.

14:11I mean, I think that's quite a bad day you're having, isn't it? If you're there. I feel the same about my kids and my cats sometimes. Do you? Oh, cats are so good. Also, you can just leave the cats for days just with a bowl of food out. Maybe when they're teenagers, it'll be a similar sort of thing. You know, older teenagers. My daughter needed a poo in a garden centre. I took her behind the display garden offices, summer houses. I buried it. But the next time we went there, there was a sign to say, please use toilets located in the main building. I mean, she buried a shit in the garden centre.

14:48I can see how, I can sort of see how that would happen. I don't, I mean, it's never happened to me. I think I would try and ask if there was a toilet, even if it was, which I did do once in Toys R Us in Belgrade. Sadly gone now. I think it's... R.I.P. Yeah, it's an Aldi's now. Very good Aldi's though. It's very strong. But it was a massive Toys R Us for a few years when my big kid was a toddler. We were there for hours because it was one of my activities. Practically Disneyland. Yeah, just because they had like a whole lane of like those ride-on toys, like the little tiny toikes carts or whatever they were tiny tykes and so i used to just let him go in and just like nobody gave a shit no one was ever in there it's like a wet wednesday afternoon and we'd spend ages in there and then one day he was like i need a wee and i was like okay we'll go home he said no i need now now now now now um so i said to the staff have you got a toilet and they were like no and i was like please i'm really sorry but if if we don't he's just going to wee in the shop those i'm afraid are the choices in this moment yeah and they were like yeah you can use the staff toilet and and they very kindly let us use it and then it was all fine so and thank you to us but then sadly of course they uh got they closed down uh i like not because my child used their staff toilet no i i don't think it could be um you know that is not the root of the problem yeah they're not buying people not buying toys maybe is more of the problem or just amazon is probably yes exactly yeah exactly right okay oh this is nice uh she's Sign this one, Yvonne.

16:22I walked around Tesco pushing a trolley while holding my 18-month-old, not realising he had pulled out my nipple from my vest top, which he was twiddling. I only realised when I got to the checkout. Buy one, get one free. Oh, my God. So it's not just the boob was out, the fact he was twiddling her nipple as she walked around. Oh, so aggravating. Oh, my God. When you were breastfeeding, Do you have it when they would try and play with the other boob? That used to drive me fucking wild. I don't know why. A bit pinchy. A bit pinchy. You know when they have little nails? Yes. And they're like scritchy, scratchy on your tits.

17:02Yeah. You're like little needles, like fine little needles. That's one of the reasons I don't like cats because, you know, and they always do it to me because they know I don't like them. They follow me around and they come and sit on my lap and dig their nails it. I can't. Nails? Do cats have nails? Of course. Of course. That's it. Cat nails. Yes. cat nails oh now this was a winner this confession this one and it got a huge round of applause i think it was either birmingham or brighton okay because it was a small stage i remember and she came up and the confession is i took a piss in my ex-husband's bath water when i found out he was unfaithful wow wow and i remember that was ruptious applause and she came out and she like really like fist pumped and everyone was kind of cheering her and she's like yeah and i took a piss and then she said she got the house and they were like fucking yes yeah yeah yeah i mean so this is i would say this one is borderline right yeah so here's the thing we get a lot of confessions that to be honest we we don't read out for various reasons we have had over the years quite a lot where people have cleaned toilets with partners or ex-partners or cheating partners toothbrushes for me that's over the line helen yes and it's our show our choice yes but we have had an extraordinary window into what people do yes and what goes on and i would say if you are a man planning to be unfaithful keep your toothbrush close uh because you'd be amazed how much it goes on but also probably you're a prick so maybe you know he had it coming also um there has been uh laxatives in drinks and there's been uh chili in the boxer shorts yeah again i feel like causing a physical injury or difficulty i think that was probably over the line yeah putting you know certain mushrooms in a beef wellington that's a step too far that is where the line is i think but this one so pissing in your ex-husband's bath water i think we read this out didn't we because like no harm was really done no and he wouldn't have noticed he wouldn't have noticed so he wouldn't be upset you can't get sick from pissing bath water otherwise we'd all be dead i mean we all swim pools you know exactly and that's that's like i mean they are chlorinated to eliminate bacteria but fair enough fair enough but um yes but i like the act like he'd run the bath yeah she'd gone in and then she like obviously like squatted over it came out and then he had the bath and she's just sitting there going ha ha ha suffering your jocks you're sitting in my piss yeah i yeah like just a personal win and he's getting going oh this is a bit warmer than i thought oh unusual bath salts uh yes but yeah she was a triumphant winner of her very dearly we are really getting a window into mother britain aren't we okay oh topical i eat mushrooms to get through camping weekends with the kids that was brightened that was bright of course it was bright that was bright so that particular night was quite the ride quite the ride uh it was it was something like it was a tuesday night and they were vibing they were vibing and there was a particularly one table of mums who were well let's just say they were high off their chops Absolutely.

20:28You asked them what drugs they were on. I said to them, are you guys all right or something? And one of them went, we're on drugs. And I went, oh, cool. Which drugs? And they went, all of them. And I was like, okay. And then one of them went, mushrooms. And I was like, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yep, yep, yep, yep. I mean, good for you. Yeah, I know. That's right. I mean, they're natural. Can we say, though, my other favourite confession, which I think was the same night or the night after in Brighton, our lovely friend Emma Scott Child wrote, oh, what was it? I did so much craft for the school fair.

21:06I found glitter in my moon cup. Yeah. Which I thought was lovely. Oh, shout out to Emma Scott Child. She's a one. All right. To avoid a meltdown, I let my two-year-old wipe my bum on the toilet. Oh, my God. She is painting a scene. Fine. Fine. Just wipe my ass. Yes. oh my god the things you had to do with a hysterical two-year-old it's just that brings back so many memories yeah of just that just not even i've never had that particular moment but that feeling of like yeah oh i'm just gonna have to let them do this inconvenient or unpleasant or time-consuming or expensive thing just to get through today yeah because there's still four hours this day to go and i i'm out of fight i'm out of argument yeah we're both going to explode All right, fine, fine, fine.

21:55Eat the Rice Krispies off the floor. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Just do it. Wear odd shoes. That's fine. Who's going to care? No, no. You're wearing your princess outfit to the shops. Speaking of Rice Krispies, one of my favourite confessions last year, which was a little odd, was that a mum came into the kitchen and her son had told her that he had stuck Rice Krispies up his penis. Yes. In his foreskin. Yeah, his foreskin. And we called it snap, crackle, cock, which I was very pleased with. And again, that was the winning confession. That was in Benenden at a posh school. In Kent, yeah? Yes, yes.

22:36Often the posh places are the filthiest we've found, isn't it? Yes, overall. Your turn, my darling. I send my husband daily WhatsApp voice notes on my way home from the school run, judging the other parents. Oh! That's edgy. That's good. That's like a daily podcast. yeah coming live i don't i mean i don't know how i feel about that that's your little thing i mean we're all we're all a little judgy on the inside but that's true what we do with it and i suppose voice voice notes to your husband that's not slagging someone off on like the internet no no no no that's just you having a chat yeah but it's like a little daily routine yeah you'll Never know what Deborah did.

23:17Now I have one. This one says, sex intent, not realising we had a silhouette and the neighbours could see and then the car would not start and we had to ask for help to jumpstart. Oh, God. So they had to like talk to the people who'd watched them have sex. That's so good. I wonder how they found out about the silhouette. Oh, yes. Or maybe, you know, when you take a step out and then you just see your partner moving around. He goes to all the light. Oh, yeah. A bit backlit. Oh, no. That's like a puppet show. That's like Carry On Camping. I think we should remake Carry On Camping, but with us in it.

23:58You played Barbara Windsor. I could be Kenneth Williams. Oh, marvellous. Come on, who wouldn't want to watch that? All day long. Okay. Oh, this is a nice long one. Here we go. Amanda. After giving birth to my eldest son, My breast swelled to a size that doesn't exist in the alphabet. They were hot, and I mean burning. In an attempt to cool them down, I got cabbage leaves and stuffed them down my bra. Now, I've heard of that before. Yes, yes, it's a standard. Very soothing, yes. But I ran out and my boobs were no longer fitting in the bra, so off I popped with my friend to mother care. I had substituted the cabbage with lettuce.

24:36Now, that I have not heard as an alternative. No. with lettuce which with the heat made me smell like a mcdonald's burger whilst taking off my bra in the changing room the lettuce fell on the floor but i couldn't bend due to my episiotomy so i had to call for help from the store assistant too embarrassed i claimed that this was a sandwich i had somehow dropped oh babe oh now i think again that was a winning confession I can't remember where it was from, but honestly, it's the smell. It's the vision. I can feel the heat in my breasts now. Very strong confession. It's got a narrative. It's got a beginning, a middle and an end.

25:17It's got a lot of detail. They don't all have... Some of the funniest confessions we've had have been six words. Yeah. That is superb. Unbelievable. I just remember that. The hot throb and like, and you know, like nipples the size of like ham slices. Like, oh, ow. Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Never again, Ellie. Never again. Now, this one I have not heard of before. I once put toothpaste on a contraceptive cap instead of a spermicidal jelly. I have two children. I mean, your fanny would smell fresh. Good for you. All right. A minty fad. Should we do one more? Yeah, let's see one more each. This is awesome.

25:56I think this is a life hack one. We often get ones that actually are like, that's quite good advice. My son's screen time was so excessive, I cut the power to the TV with a special app. When he asked why the TV went off, I blamed Russia making global power go down. Blaming Russia, I think, should be used more in parenting. I think so. I think so. And also, it's just a good life. I think people are learning some skills today. I've got two because these are short ones. This is a personal favourite. This one happened the other night. I lost my virginity on a football field in the goal. Yes. And my favourite about this is she spelt virginity, V-A-G-I-N-I-T-Y, which I really enjoyed.

26:39And again, I think we should change the spelling. Let's write to the O-E-D. Yeah. Let's change the spelling because it's more descriptive. Oh, my God. So that was good. I think that was last minute. I think maybe even Lancaster or Buxton. Yeah, I think so. Lovely. And one more here. My son put his cowboy hat on and said, Mum, stick him up and shot me with my dildo. Oh, my God. Listen, the number of confessions we've had of children finding just buy, go on Amazon, buy a little safe or buy a little box with a lock. Just honestly, people, children look under beds. Let me tell you. I know, because the winning confession last week was, Mum, have you got a willy?

27:21And the mum said, no. She said, yes, you do. And it's in your drawer. yes that's right oh well look as i say this is what what a bump and this is just ones we picked i know i can't even i can't even get to the bottom of this bay there are so many confessions we didn't even bother going through uh and picking out the best ones because we're too lazy so yeah exactly right there's there there's more to come ellie yes

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28:19So I hope you've enjoyed this little selection of the commissions from the Hot it really is the best bit and what i love is after 12 years we still get ones every night that we have never had before it's amazing i think we should have read this final one because this one was funny but also confusing okay i once got my mum to help me dress sexy for my husband i wore stockings suspenders etc then asked my mum to wrap me in bin liners so he could sexily cut them open i have so many questions so many what i my mum is a very liberal open-minded woman if i asked her to dress me in bin bags while i was in suspenders i don't know man i don't she'd do it because she loves me but i feel like it will be a she doesn't need to know she does not need to know um i'm anyway i wore a coat and so she put a coat over the bin liners yeah i wore a coat and why didn't you just wear a coat anyway i wore a coat and picked him up from work sweating and rustling when we got home i revealed the sexy bin liner ensemble and then that's it we don't find out what happened next no did he cut she must have been slithering around oh sweaty and clammy again and the fishnets i'm trying to imagine if i turned up at pete's work in a fucking bin liner he'd be like what the fuck is wrong with you what are you having a breakdown it sounds a little murder and then if i said oh my mum helped me what i don't think he'd get hard listen i well you know he would have had a natalie portman mask on but that's a story for another time oh helen well i've enjoyed this i have too i have too it's been uh and also it's been a joy doing the hot mess tour honestly we have really enjoyed um meeting you all and seeing all these confessions and it's It's just been a real old laugh.

30:13I'm looking forward to the next leg of the tour. Absolutely. After we've had a rest. So if you've enjoyed us reading out these confessions today, why don't you come and see the show? They're all on our website, scummymummies.com. As I say, we're back in the autumn and then we're doing a Christmas show and writing next year, blah, blah, blah. Loads of shows. So do come along and see us. That's right. Or feel free to message us. We might read out your confession on the next podcast as well. Indeed. scummy mummies podcast at gmail.com exactly right well ellie it's been a treat first of all thank you to everyone who's come to a show this year and seen hot mess and please keep you know messaging us and everyone who's done a nice story or a nice instagram post and tagged us we we love it don't we absolutely and um yeah and also i would say thank you to our extended team uh lovely inga tour manager and all our lovely drivers as well especially your lovely dad miserable steed Miserable Steve, My Mad Dad, Rob Dearing.

31:11It's been... Oh, and your husband. Oh, and my husband Pete. Yeah, whatever. I'm off to buy some bin liners now. Oh, Ryan. Yes. I will call your mother. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. Bye-bye. Bye.

31:34I mean, they're natural. They're good. What, drugs? Yeah, mushrooms. You know, that's like... Oh, I thought you meant like all drugs. Do you think cocaine just grows out? Do they just scrape it off a plant or something? I thought they did. I thought cocaine came from the poppies. No, that's heroin and opiate. Oh, God. It's all so confusing. No, but you're right. I'm wrong. You're right. Cocaine, doesn't it come from coca leaves? Yeah, something like that. When I went to Peru, they were like, oh, you should drink this coca tea so you don't get altitude sickness. and I was like, oh, great. And then someone's like, isn't that where they make cocaine from?

32:10I was like, oh, great. Oh, I'll be very relaxed as I go up Machu Picchu. But it's chemically... No, you're right. It's chemically processed. What's the one people make on the GHB or something? Yeah, ice, all the other ones. Well, look at us talking about crystal meth. We're down with the kids. The one, yes, that they need the Bunsen burner for. Oh, look, I think this drugs chat is above our pay grade. Oh, all right, like, that's okay.

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