329: How to stop feeling so bloody old with Kate Rowe-Ham

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1:19Hello, scumbags. This is the Scummy Mummy's podcast. With your hosts, Ellie Gibson and Helen Thorne.

1:32Hello and welcome to the Scummy Mummy's podcast. It's me, Helen Thorne. And it's me, Ellie Gibson. I'm delighted, Ellie. Well, I'm always delighted, but extra so today because we've got the wonderful, very talented author, presenter, health and fitness campaigner, influencer. she's created her own business called owning your menopause she's authored two books and she's sat

1:53Kate Rowe-Ham: between us now it's kate rohan oh do you please can you own my menopause i was you can have it 6.99 it's yours i don't want it if mine was bad enough you can keep it um welcome welcome to the podcast kate rohan we're not by the way your name's not roham is it which i always want to say in my head but it's ro hyphen ham yeah just roham yeah so who was ro and who was ham so it was ham and then Kate Hamm no but it wasn't me that was Hamm it was my husband so obviously now I sound like I'm really posh what's your husband's name Tim Hamm no Ian Hamm oh god he's gonna kill me Honey Hamm Gerald Jerry Hamm that sounds like a top Hollywood agent hello I'm Jerry Hamm give me my cigars that is that feels like what Jerry Hamm's doing okay so you both double barrelled no we didn't neither of us were Hamm or Ro his father was Hamm and was in the city and felt that sitting in the city, row ham might be better.

2:51So it was added to ham, to the row. I was a Webber. Oh, right. Yeah. Nothing to do with me. So the barbecue met the ham. Yes, it did. Mate. Yeah. That's cool. There we are. Well, that's the podcast done. No, Kate, we've been friends for a long time, but I'm so glad you're here today because we're on the cusp of your book coming out. And it's a book that I sure so many of us will identified um slash need but it's something that ellie and i have been talking about for a very long time it is about longevity and also about what to put in our bodies you know how do we stop feeling old and um creaky and all the things so you know enlighten us basically we're invited you on the podcast to help us make us feel better i've got a theme song as well have you?

3:39Kate Rowe-Ham: it goes like this Kate I wanna live forever I really don't wanna die I love that thank you I'm gonna take that with me now I don't own the rights I will say that's not an original composition of mine I'm forced to tell you but I'm sure if you pay the PRS it'll be fine I was thinking about because there's a great song called Kate by Binfolds 5 it's Kate I wanna be Kate she's everything I want she's everything I'm not that's not as good because it's not as relevant to the book no it's not but it is a Kate based song wow well I mean we could sit here all day couldn't we there's a book called Kiss Me Kate there we go did you know that did you know there's another person called Kate Middleton we could just do Kate stuff all day yeah she has a Kate but it's themed how's that relevant to Kate's book nothing you talk now Kate I'm steering the ship oh I love it in the wrong direction I don't know Kate sounds a bit like Kate anyway carry on love Kate let them eat cake i also want to say do you know what this is part of like the whole longevity conversation taking the piss out yes yeah no community and fun and joy and actually fun enough i'm glad you're having fun i was talking to someone this morning about that and they were like what are the three like the three pillars what is the one thing that you have taken from the book that has kind of helped you the most and actually i talk a little bit about journaling I'm sure we'll come to that.

5:04But it's about finding that joy in life. Because I do think as part of this midlife journey, and this is a really big assumption, that many of us kind of lose ourselves along the way. And we forget how to have a little bit of fun with friends because we experience grief, teenagers, young adults. Shit husbands. I was going to let you say that.

5:29Kate Rowe-Ham: Shit siblings. My husband is flawless. as regular listeners will know he never sets a foot wrong i'm gonna set up to listen to this one there we go so i just feel like actually being here and having a giggle is is part of this longevity journey because joy and friendship and community is a huge huge part oh we're doing something right gibbo so the fact that ellie and i we we have um we laugh a lot yes yes that's very good and then we connect with an audience when we're doing our thing does that negate the smoking i did for a very long time no that's what i'm gonna do every time you like have a cigarette i'll just go why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side and then you'll laugh and then you'll live forever that's the answer that's how that works this is this is the balance i need yeah this is what we need some top trumps for longevity it's like oh i smoked a bit however laugh a lot.

6:25Is that how top trumps work? Also, you've stopped now. Yes, I have stopped. So your body is healing and you're healing it with the laughter, the running, all of these things that you do. It's fine. Thank you. You're all right. Kate says I'm okay. But just don't start again. Fine.

6:41Kate Rowe-Ham: Yeah. Kate says you're definitely not going to die of lung cancer. You heard it here first. Yeah, just don't do it. All right, good, fine. But if you ever choose between vaping and smoking, I mean, this is a whole other conversation. I would go for smoking. Oh, really? You would smoke rather than vape? I mean, I wouldn't do either, obviously, because I'm a pillar of health, but... No, but if you're a terrible savvy... We know we're going to die, either way, really, from both. There's more evidence behind smoking. I mean, vaping just feels... Because you can do it more. Oh, we do it wherever you are.

7:13You can vape all day. You can vape wherever you are. You can vape all day. And I have.

7:16Kate Rowe-Ham: But aren't cigarettes... Don't we know for sure that cigarettes give you lung cancer, whereas we don't know that about... They give you irreversible lung damage vaping. Right. They both have each other. Are they? Yes. Okay. Oh, well, that's good. Anyway, that's not us endorsing vaping. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just to be clear, if you're listening or perhaps your legal representative is listening, this is not me and Helen saying that smoking is better for you than vaping. No. And also, it's absolutely not one of the pillars. No. No, no, no. That's a different kind of pillar. It's not community exercise fags.

7:51Kate Rowe-Ham: That's not the three pillars. okay what what let's come okay come on come on come on god sorry sorry into the gritty nitty what are the three pillars kate roham okay so the ones i've included in my book i talk about wait there's more pillars well i mean there are lots of other things that you can do are we in a fucking pantheon what's going on no we're going to be here for a very long time no we're not i wanted to keep it simple okay so you've got movement diet and mental well-being and in that mental well-being i like we've talked that community that connection because we don't have as much of that, I think, as we did.

8:23And certainly not, I know this is going to take us on a different tangent, where I base a lot of what I talk about in the book on the blue zones. So I can love a blue zone. So Dan, you know, who talks about the blue zones, we don't live the lifestyle that a lot of these people live because they live in families and communities. I think over here, you know, people have kind of gone off. Like my sister lives in Kenya. You have a family abroad. My dad, very sadly, is no longer here. My mum lives in France. So you can't really pull on people to kind of help you with that pillar. So that's where it does lie with friendship and community.

8:56And I think COVID, like, again, took that away from us. So I think one of my number one things I loved about writing that book is reconnect with people. Yeah. Like, bring people in on that journey, have fun, enjoy it, community. And with that, I talk about journaling as well, because I think that that can really help alongside. But that mental well-being part, I think, is huge for so many people. And it's something that we forget. And it's not often spoken about with longevity because exercise, diet, friendship, family, community, connection, it's all there for free.

9:31Kate Rowe-Ham: But what if you feel like you haven't got a friendship or family community? Like if you're saying maybe your family lives abroad or maybe your parents aren't around anymore or maybe, you know, maybe you're just kind of lonely. We do hear from people who've gone through a divorce or whatever and friendships can fracture. and I do actually talk about that in my book. I talk about sort of all the different, I talk about divorced parents, single parenting, the LBGTQ community and how things like that might be quite hard. And again, like this isn't assumption, but with exercise, you can meet people.

10:01So if you are that person and if you are feeling very isolated and alone, you could join like a park run where you'll meet people. You know, I mean, lovely Bryony Gordon, mental health mates and things like that. If you're alone, there are places that you can reach out to to take those first steps in those communities to get moving so those three things kind of I feel like entwine each other so if you are lacking community try to build in some exercise some movement a walking club you know I don't know a swimming club something like that where you will meet people and bring them into your lives that I feel like the three like all work together quite well the cooking club you could join you know something like that again a community community gardens have had like this you know some doctors prescribe that I know um a friend of ours uh is a gardener and she's done volunteer work and she's seen she's the difference she sees with people who've been struggling with mental health um they're doing community gardening stuff and then they'll eat the food at the end all this stuff but I know that that is a specific thing in our area and it's not but um what I was going to ask you online communities and things like that um are obviously more accessible are they still is that still a good thing like having your online community and reaching out in that way or does it have to be yeah because it's a starting point isn't it you're still talking to people and i and i definitely feel like you know with social media we are all able to connect a little bit more you know you can go to instagram you can kind of see and connect and reach out so yes online but i mean in person is obviously a nicer thing because i think you can really let your guard down I think you can hide slightly behind quite a lot when it is online um and actually you know I have a lot of a lot of friends who perhaps I haven't seen because I've thrown myself into work there is all of that and um someone only said the other day who I hadn't seen for a while oh I feel like I've seen you you know a lot I know kind of what's going on and they don't and then they're like are you all right I was like yeah you know and actually sometimes what you see and what you get aren't so I do think that in-person thing can be really important to get to the underneath and the bones of what someone might be going through but if someone is is time poor they're a little bit nervous that that that first online connection

12:19Kate Rowe-Ham: could be the way to start and yeah and I I have this online community now on Twitch and I really like that we've got this common thing which is video games right and we sort of talk about the games but it's not really about the games we just it's really about taking the piss out of each other and then mainly taking the piss out of me and we do share people do come on and share hard stuff sometimes but most of the time it's just fucking about and i think it's all right to just have a space where you fuck about as well yeah i agree but i think that like that is what you guys have done for so many people like and that's why i think scrummy mommies are brilliant obviously i'm sandwiched between the two of you i have to slightly say that we've locked the doors third best parenting comedy duo in the you know like you offer that safe you offer that safe relatable space for so many people and you know that there are there are people out there that would come to your show that wouldn't necessarily have those conversations in front of their husbands or they would might be too scared to say it to their friends that they're with and actually by just being there in a room surrounded by you know women like you and then other women that share their hilarious stories you're kind of opening that acceptability of like life isn't perfect and I think that that is is a really powerful tool and acceptance for a lot of women especially when we do get to midlife and that mental load is properly real yeah that's that's super peak and I think what you were saying about um getting to midlife and losing part of yourself I think there's a a real you know there's there's different peaks in your life where you have these It's not a dirty crisis, but, you know, like when you first leave home, you're establishing this independence and then you're a young mum and it's like, what does that look like?

14:05And now on the cusp of like the children starting to get older and moving out and, you know, what does my future look like as an older person? That's another, it's like, you know, people talk about this second act, about who I am and what have I done, what's ahead of me. So I think, you know, I think having all these different hats, I guess we can put on like you know I can like Ellie and I sit in different communities we sit in a community together as scummy mummies but then Ellie's got this amazing video games community and I'm associated with like the running community now and like those sort of things and they're they're really rich in yeah and they're and I wouldn't I wouldn't have thought I would have been part of that community many years ago but here here I am so yeah it's just trying it isn't it it's just being and it's hard when you've got lots of things going on but it's just being brave enough to kind of give it a try and who knows what might happen right so community pillar yeah i think we would start that should we move swiftly around to another pillar this which way would we want to go do we want to go nutrition food let's exercise yeah we're going to go nutrition because i think that that is one of the hardest things for women and again it doesn't need to be complicated and i and i think that that's where i hope that i can be a voice of reason and a voice of sense is that you know not every meal you make needs to be like instagram worthy or gordon ramsay perfect um it just needs to have the foods that we um the nutrients that we need in order to help our body heal repair recover rest and all of those things and i think we put so much pressure on ourselves because everyone's talking about cooking from scratch and ultra processed foods and none of us know where to turn anymore so i think we often just reach for things that you know might not be the best for us and our families because we're so overwhelmed and confused so simplifying nutrition just making sure protein carbs yes eat carbs fiber really important um and and enjoying your food like i mean we could have a really long whole conversation about this um but there actually is a bit in my book we talk about the the sort of the japanese way of eating which is harahachibu which is eating um until you're like 80 percent full so i think again a lot of what we do is we eat until we are full no never no that's not going to work for me but i think that's because we were told like i said you've got to eat everything on your plate and you've got to finish everything on your plate so yeah again i I think we're kind of in this phase of life where we, a lot of us might carry trauma from the past about, you know, having to be a certain size, having to be a certain shape, finishing your plates.

16:46We should be this, that the whole nutrition thing just becomes so overwhelming when you're told to eat well, but actually you don't want to eat because you might've put on weight. And the only way you think you can lose weight is to not eat the food that we should be eating. and I want us all to just scrap all of that because you need to eat food your body needs to eat your shape and your size do not determine anything about you um and it you know just a simple good food can contribute massively plant-based predominantly is kind of the way I've gone with the book to longevity because if you if you don't fuel yourself enough your body is going to suffer and your brain is going to suffer you become more forgetful like all of these things are so important so for me it's that nutrition um you know and enjoying enjoying your food

17:34Kate Rowe-Ham: we are very good at that we that i've said that's one of our pillars yes we're going to live forever you've got joy you've got food and we are very good at both joy and food um yeah that's that's basically why we became stand-up comedians i feel like that like that you know you know when there's like those american um sweet shop fronts you're like yeah helen and ellie are comedians no we're hungry and we like uh attention uh so this vehicle of comedy gets us to curry houses around the country oh and we can stay at premier inns you mean the comedy is like one of those sweet shops on oxford street that's probably run by russians as a the russian mafia as a money laundering exercise yes yes amazing yeah and if you're listening the russian mafia please don't come for me i'm not don't know that was my fault that's entirely my fault she said it has nothing to do with me yeah don't at me grosbe danya yeah anyway uh but you know i think i think that's it it's it's funny those harnessing it's it's harnessing those those joy things and then and obviously there were times like as you were saying like through grief through really shitty parts of our lives where food is the first thing to go out the window yeah right and so if someone's listening and they're in a really shitty time sometimes you're just eating to survive you're you know you can't think about fucking chia seeds when you know you're feeling pretty sad unless you're doing your meal prep oh yeah yeah but uh yeah but like you know i i think there has to be you know there is a bit of self-compassion is also a thing because if you stress out if you go fuck I'm a horrible person because I just ate a giant bag of watsits that's not good for you either oh it's not no mine was minstrels actually yesterday oh was it oh I don't like a minstrel no more minstrels I'm not minstrels it was that thing it was the crispy shell and it was a bag to share and it had been a really long day and I was like I just wanted myself you know happy and I didn't I didn't I mean I didn't binge on them there weren't enough to share to be fair by the time I'd finished but it felt good and it is about balance and I think that is the thing and actually you know we mentioned that joy but eating should be joyful and i think that that again is sadly something that is being taken away from us as people are beginning to try and shrink themselves and food is no longer joyful like people have made food like as a means to survive rather than something that should be shared and bring like there's nothing i love more than go for a girly meal but then i think also isn't that how much that is to do with just personality type and taste as well so um you know i i had dinner with my in-laws last week and by that we were talking about food and by their own admission they see food and always have as just sort of fuel and of course they're not you know they they like a nice meal as much as anyone like they do have palates if i'm not not calling them savages but um they were laughing because pete was on holiday and he rang up and he was on the video call and like he was going yeah i've had a really nice day i went on this hike and I was going what did you eat what did you eat send me a picture what you ate and they were laughing and they said afterwards you know he's got this love of gastronomy from you he hasn't got it from us because we just don't and I'm maybe too far at the other end of the spectrum because I constantly am reading about food thinking about food making food and in the lockdown that I became not obsessed but it was a huge thing for me which was a distraction right which like as long as I'm obsessing about making recreating the dishewn black lentils then i'm not actually thinking about the fact we might all die in a global pandemic so brilliant uh at least we'll die full that that was my thinking so yeah it's i think maybe it's it's just which i sort of don't really understand because food is so big for me but i'm trying to be empathetic towards people for whom food just isn't really a thing yeah yeah i mean you're right it's funny because i i often have those conversations where like people you know can have like we just said about a bar, let's bring it back to a bar of chocolate or something like that.

21:32You can have two slices of a bar of chocolate and then put it away. I couldn't because I love that, but there are people that can. So I do, I think it is, it depends on the... I can do that, you see. Can you? No, no, no, no. Big bag of crisps. Oh, done, done, done, done. And like today, I was, I had to finish every single pork scratching before I left. Yeah, but it's... People are going to call and say that we now need help with our food, but I think... Don't write in.

21:59Kate Rowe-Ham: It's fine. Smoked salmon, that's mine, though. I can't. If I open a packet of smoked salmon. Smoked salmon. Add the instals. Oh, the crisps. So fatty and greasy. That's okay. You can do that. That's great for you. It's all that protein, those omegas. I mean, that's why, you know. It's not normal, though, is it? Eating a whole packet of smoked salmon. What is normal, Ellie? What is? It's not fucking cheese fiber. It's more than a packet of fucking menstruals. What's a lemon juice? Lemon juice and pepper. Oh, no, mate. Just like a bag of crisps out the packet. Wow. Don't, you know. What do you think this is?

22:26carriages that is a first but i but it's but it's good food but i think it is little things like that like i think people some women would then be like we're saying that self-compassion would be upset that they've done that and i think that's what women do so much as they hit the fuck it button so they'll have a day like that and then anything good that they're trying to then do like just goes so like let's just say because obviously we've just finished january so many people would have set themselves up for january and to have done this and possibly put in like quite um heavy restrictions and it's when you restrict that you you crave more so it's a it's totally about finding like that balance and not beating yourself up after you've done it and if if you have just kind of reset and just go again you don't have to just continue to then chip away at that thing because you ate the thing just like reset you're not about you're not a bad person we'll do it you're not alone and just kind of you know start again i guess i was gonna ask about the whole perimenopause menopause thing because that's something I've been let's say I'm obsessed with reading up about it and lots of Dr.

23:32Von DeWight and and how when we're going into this phase of our lives and this period of our lives the way we process food and hold on to weight and all that sort of stuff starts to change because most people I know who are my age all just say I've just put on a stone for no reason why am I why am I a little bit more squidgy in the middle and you know and i went and saw a menopause doctor about it and she said that this is this is what's happening like all your hormones are going all over the place and estrogen is dropping so therefore estrogen goes down and your tummy goes up yeah apparently and i was like well that and so i tried things like and i was saying this to ellie the other week i was like i used to do intermittent fasting where i could do like you know 16 hours or whatever and she's like oh no no that that will make your body more stressed and then your body will hang on you to your tummy so maybe try something else and anyway basically heal heal me Kate is this well again it's anything because no but you're like everybody's journey is so unique so fasting might not work for you yeah but it might work for somebody else so it's you've got to try it's a little bit of trial and error and it's really interesting because I saw something again the other day about how um you know biologically when people talk about our metabolism slowing down but it that isn't really a thing i mean until sort of what after 60 so i i guess that person was sort of saying well perimenopausal women or women go through menopause are talking rubbish but you know we're not like there is that weight gain and i think that that you know as the doctor said it does your your eastern inclines your body looks for a weaker form of eastern which happens to be in our fat cells so then it's it's it's scooping that in and it's laying that down but also if you're not sleeping you've got joint aches and pains you are managing life stress so your cortisol or does go up your your body is very inflamed estrogen is an anti-inflammatory so you you know you need the estrogen to help bring those inflammation markers down so you are basically this pot of like inflammation so it's a wonder that things don't change inflammation minestrone well exactly yes but we can do something about it off it now all i can see is just like Influm strony.

25:41Influm strony. Yeah, okay. But it's kind of that self-compassion again, right? Like, Hannah, menostrony. There it is. Menostrony. Menostrony. There we go. That's what we're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Menostrony. Sorry, carry on. If you like soup and you're hot. Oh, my God. Now you're going to make me lose my train. Sorry, Kate. That's what we were talking about. So, yeah. So, fasting, I have found, can actually work at times. maybe not 16 hours but I generally will try to finish my supper at kind of seven o 'clock yeah and then I will probably eat my really big protein fiber rich breakfast at around about 10 yes in the morning that's doable that's doable without getting the hanger without getting hang and you don't need to push it but again it's like what what exercise are you are you doing as well because a lot of women do HIIT so that's the high intensity interval training inflames your body even more right and we should be lifting weights yeah which i know which i know you know um and so it is just working out is that hit is that fast um you know what serving a purpose it might be for you if it's something you've always done and you don't notice things changing but for the lady who is feeling fatigued is putting on weight perhaps is sleeping worse you know then let's look at what what you are doing um i mean i have a millions of people i'm doing hit seven days a week and i don't understand i'm not sleeping and and then obviously they're under eating as well because they're trying to lose that midsection so they default to the kind of 20s and 30s hopefully they're not just packing and drinking black coffee which used to work a treat again in the 20s oh it was ideal you know it's ideal yeah yeah just leave me right doesn't doesn't work so you know i think defaulting to like that starvation mode um it does it doesn't work and it like women i work with and i'm like let's look at what you're eating when we really break it down and we get under the bones of it and i show them kind of what their food looks like they're like i can't eat all of that and the so the answers are kind of right there in front of you that you're not eating enough you're you're exercising too much your stress management might not be great and I know that sounds so overwhelming doesn't it when you're thinking of all those things but only worry about what you're doing and not everybody else and it becomes a little bit easy when you focus on just putting those things into place for you and not worrying about the noise outside of that yes yes you can't you can't put your square peg in someone else's hole no well you sure can try I think that is like the thing like with social media like follow the people and I think Dr.

28:25Wanda Wright brilliant in the State Sims but follow the people that do have a really trusted voice that don't sound like they're talking rubbish. I mean, as soon as someone says, stir your water with a charcoal wand to ionise it, just have a little think to yourself. Does that sound like bullshit?

28:41Kate Rowe-Ham: That's a good question to ask most days, I think. Are you fucking Harry Potter? No. Don't fucking wander away. Shut up. That's what worries me and that's where I think this whole noise becomes really confusing for yeah for women well i think that is a real problem generally because we've never had so much access to so much information from so many people and then i think it can feel like real pressure as well it can feel like right well i've got to do fasting but not too much and i've got to eat more protein but i want to lose weight and i need to i need to sort my sleep out because otherwise it's all pointless and and i think what about your gut gut flora what about your fucking gut flora i mean dame whenever i talk about gut micro my kids just go oh god here we go here we go she's talking about yeah yeah how how do we well the obvious answer is by your book isn't it obviously how do we filter through all that noise and how do we know what works for us because like you say we are all different and you know in my in my personal opinion there are kind of three four things that we should be taking um as midlife women which would be vitamin d yep absolutely for our bone health but you take that with a k2 because it helps with the absorption so that is without doubt an omega-3 which you don't need to say give your eating loads of um smoked salmon you're probably like way off that at that she's advanced creatine would be a really good thing to take if you don't have any kidney issues and magnesium glycinate which can really help with sleep like those for me would be my kind of like four go-tos and i think where it becomes confusing for so many women is that we're getting you know um supplements that talk about a perimenopause supplement let's say that has all of those things in because they exist so it's like a multivitamin but then people are taking things on top because they're like well i've got the multivitamins that's my base and now i'm going to take an omega vitamin d and a magnesium because that's what i've been told to take and then suddenly you're taking too much of all of those things so that's why i would always say like for me a multivitamin wouldn't be the right thing to do because also there might be vitamin b in there that you don't need so it's really working out what's the problem with taking stuff that well you you pee them out for starters so you're just not as often you can't um too much you can't have too much of a good thing on certain supplements but the cost like as well you know realistically we should try and get as much as we possibly can through food now i know that that is not always possible certainly when it comes to like i mean vitamin d sunlight you know we need that is there not vitamin d and minstrels fuck me no they should we can minstrels with extra minno minni minstrels i just just just make the supplements we could sell a whole range of food Menostoni, menstruals, what else are we doing?

31:34But you see, but you've just literally hit the nerve on my head with that because that is what is happening. You know, sadly, we are being targeted by a lot of, you know, conversations around the menopause that if you don't take this, this will happen. I know, it feels like your bones are going to turn to dust and your skin's going to fall off and your hair's going to go very thin. Yeah. And that's fair about how that has sort of happened to me. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I am. Yes, I'm incredibly dry. Christmas, men's pies. Yeah. Oh, yes. Write that down. Write that down. That's a new Christmas sketch.

32:05The menopause Christmas hamper. Sorry. No, no, no. You're ageing yourself longer because you were the joy. I love you. You're going to have your whole own range, aren't you, by Christmas? Yes, yes, yes. I can see it now. Yes, yes, yes. I've derailed us. It's my fault. You've been talking very intelligently. No, no, no. Very eloquently. But I do think that, you know, look up. like for your hair like for the thinning hair thing I know again there's loads of products but rosemary oil which you can make is insane for thinning hair and lamb lamb

32:45which you serve of course with mint sauce oh my stop stop it stop it I've done a wee I've done a lot a tiny bit of wee menopause yes anyway oh lord but not with the lamb necessarily but you could have rose moon book if you're having lambs. Yeah, exactly. On a Sunday, just quickly. Yes, some for you here, some for the rose.

33:04Kate Rowe-Ham: Yes, the rose. So the tagline of your book is 21 days to health, strength and vitality. Yes. That feels like quite a short time. Is that really achievable? Can we really get to those things in three weeks? Yeah, we can. Do you know what? The first book, which is Oding and Menopause, was 30 days and it didn't feel long and it was achievable for a lot of people because it wasn't a solid 30 days. but with this particular one I thought 21 days and what I love about it is we've got little longevity tests in there so you start off and you work out your week they are you don't even need equipment like standing on one leg single leg stand um sit to squat and the reach test sort of functional reach test you know how more you can reach forward it gives you indications of that so the idea is you do that on day one uh there is a QR code that you scan and um as with the last book that it is a follow along um class that you do so for those of you like me who might go you know oh shit great i put the book down you're not going to do it it's just give yourself that 20 minutes no workout as longer than 20 minutes and it's based very much on functional movement seven days later you test it's 14 days later so it basically tests yourself like four times throughout now you may not notice any massive improvements initially day one to you know day one to 14 but I can categorically guarantee that somewhere along the line you will be able to probably hold your leg for longer do more squats and then the idea is that you carry on implementing some of those things into your day-to-day life and I actually got my mum to come on board with this now for those of you who might know my mum it was impossible you will meet my mum and understand it all um and she did and actually it was even just the fact that she was being tested and had to concentrate on something that improved her balance so it wasn't maybe necessarily exercise but it was actually the thinking around why I'm doing it and what I'm doing so now when she brushes her teeth you know she'll stand on one leg and she's 79 she you know looks after my stepfather lives on her own in France like for me that's a really important thing you know whatever age you're at you you can do this and that's it get your parents to come and do it with you if you've still got them around because you can future you know you can give yourself a better health span at whatever age you are so yes I do believe a really long answer your question that within 21 days people will see a significant difference amazing yeah so what are some quick things people can do right now obviously buy your book the longevity solution by Kate Rowe hyphen ham buy that uh but what are there any like little little things we can do like right now changes that you can make yeah and I like the where you use changes because i saw something the other day where someone's like choices and not everyone has a choice and so i do think like when you talk when we talk about lifestyle i love to say lifestyle changes and not choices because we don't all have a choice yeah i can stand on one of my necks all day but not the other day i love that so is go outside every day for five minutes walk like get the vitamin d that you might not want to pay for no go outside and get get a walk even if it is just five minutes i think can make a massive impact to your energy levels to your mental health um you know when you are when i don't know when you are out to smile ask people i love sorry people i love talking to random strangers and just saying hi and having a conversation with someone i bought a coffee from just like little moments of connection that actually can make your day but equally you don't know kind of what you're doing for somebody else um and if we were to think about like the nutritional side of things just maybe look at trying to do one or two meals from scratch but batch cook them so make two or three times the amount so you've almost got like seven dinners ready like the truth is i probably could eat the same thing and actually i pretty much do most nights like minstrels on toe minstrels on toes yes oh my god that would be delicious but you know like a really simple big chicken casserole you're done and everyone will eat that with rice and vegetables and that's apart from our second child children yeah ellie and i have what you get the classic first child eats everything second child just eats ham yeah and chicken nuggets he's so picky yeah there are certain chicken nuggets he won't eat he certainly won't eat homemade ones that are good for you no absolutely not no no no thank you Yeah, you see, I do like it.

37:28My kids do like a homemade chicken nugget. Well, your kids are better than my kids. Well, they're not really. I do have a bet, my kids. Trust me. But yes, if I would say going outside, walking, trying to add a little bit of, you know, freshness to your cooking and try and have connection with somebody at some point in the day. Because I do think more of us are working from home. I can go through the whole day without reaching out to anyone. It feels really lonely. All right. No, sorry. Okay. I think I think you know I think Ellie and I I don't want to say unique because that makes it sound special but we're different from other people that we have this job where we connect with lots of people and then Ellie and I both talk about when we come back home our social battery is like yeah I can imagine negative and it's the job is a joy a privilege I'm so grateful for it but when I come home I've got no chat yeah fucking nothing and I need to be like basically fetal position

38:25Kate Rowe-Ham: in a tracksuit on the sofa we have to have a nap don't we go for a nice lunch and have a big old chat and then just go for a sleep or just to be alone for a bit to recharge the battery for the evening performance which makes it sound like it's fucking Shakespeare no no do we get we tell our funny jokes to strangers yes and then Kate we give and we give and we give oh so much and you do you really do but um we are we are but that's something I've had to learn to be better at because there are certain labels you place on yourself like i was like oh but i'm a people person people please that's what i give but i'm like no that is not sustainable and it's okay to go i can't do that i'm gonna have to say no to all these things because otherwise i will burn out people pleasing thing i find a really interesting thing for middle-life women i don't know whether it's just maybe our generation but like would you say you're a people pleaser no not really i mean like all like all people i like to yeah these people and i like to be liked yeah that's evident in things like my job but also i'm like yeah again i like to cook for people i love feeding people and he's an incredibly good friend the way you you you know you organize amazing lunches for friends and like you you you really value and no she's fucking incredibly loyal and you are, anyway.

39:49I am a great person. Ellie's a very good person. I can't deny that. Yeah, Helen is also... She's one of the people, please. I don't... Not in the traditional sense. No, no, no. But, yes. It's not that we don't want to do wrong, if that makes sense. I'm trying to pick up on what that thing, because I think, again, it's that self-compassion that we were talking about at the beginning. So many of us don't know how to do that because we're so busy trying to make sure that everything else is okay that we totally forget about ourselves every single time yes and i and i think that you know again maybe you're saying that the things that people could take from this as well as getting outside and having that five minutes or having you know having like some nice food or connecting with someone it's maybe taking a moment of self-reflection as well and just going am i that person do i need to say yes to all the things that i keep saying yes to because i think that That can be a real, really powerful transition into making time to do the things that serve you more.

40:48That we don't do enough as midlife women because we get so caught up in it. So I think the fact that you've brought up that point, you know, and actually I'm like you, I say yes a lot and I'm learning to say no. Yeah. Create space to do more of the things that can give me that health span that I need when I'm feeling overloaded. Yeah. And also then I value the things that I do. because I know that I've over committed to things like booking and runs and marathons and all this stuff I thought I can't remember some of them and uh and I was so hurried or like I'd finish the marathon and I'd hop straight onto a plane and then I just like and I didn't savour it because I was so busy going on to another gig to another thing and then I get to the end of the year and I was so burnt out I was like was for what yeah for what you know you know and I'm thinking I've got to do this no you don't no one's saying no one's got a gun to their head saying you must achieve all these certain things like your measure of success and your measure of what you value or you think other people want you to be is a really yeah that that can be and also when you're like i am i've got you know self-esteem and self-worth issues and that mix of confidence as well but That's something I've got to learn to kind of, you know, manage.

42:07Because it's hard about what's like, no, actually, what you need to do is just lie down for a bit. You need to sit and, you know, look at how far you've come or how far you have to go. And actually, that's what someone said to me the other day, like when this thing comes out, book comes out next week, just sit and enjoy it. Like, I know that I'm already thinking about what's next. Like, when am I going to give myself the chance to just absorb all of it? and we don't do that enough it is that kind of like and i do think it's important to sit and acknowledge what one has achieved but because we don't it's quite british thing isn't it yeah i

42:45Kate Rowe-Ham: think that's two things i've probably only just learned in the last 10 years one is that actually very few people are spending for any time thinking about you and what the fuck you're doing do you know i mean people are busy thinking about themselves and their own shit and their kids and their aging parents and they're not fucking really interested in what you've achieved or not achieved most of the time um and that's a sort of it's sort of quite painful in terms of ego but i think it's true and also um there's always going to be another thing yeah so there's always going to be like you know like you say oh i need to write another book or i need to start for me it's i need to start a new project so and that that listen that's great isn't it because we started the podcast and then that became the stage show and then you know um and now we stay in premier air ins as much as we want so that's yeah it's very very very good yes um but yeah my point is it's like it's like i'm still trying to write this fucking novel but i've realized i need to i've got into a space where i'm not like and when it's finished it would i must get it published and only then will i be happy because i've learned because we have achieved some amazing things yeah And I've learned that achieving them does make you happy.

43:57Kate Rowe-Ham: And then that goes away. And then your brain will want to do another thing. So that doesn't mean you should stop pursuing or stop aiming. But it does mean like being honest with yourself and realist and stop thinking there's an end point because the game just fucking goes on and on. And I love that you say that because that does kind of underpin a lot of like the just like the whole thing about longevity and health span is like that doesn't end either. Just like that journey. so when people sign up or when they do something for their fitness they're always like it's it's i know that says 21 days but it's always like you know in a year in six months no your end goal is the end of life just to you know make it really cheery but yeah so so so we're all gonna die your fitness journey never ends but your fitness your fitness journey never ends i mean it does it well when you're dead yeah but to that to that day i'm going to continue to to move and be strong like For me, this doesn't end.

44:51Because I think if it has an end point, it's like, you know, if you've lost the weight, let's say someone's on that weight loss journey, then what? Then do you go back? No. So like for me, fitness, all of this should just be a continuum of, like you're saying, you want to do a novel, this happens next, it continues. So should your fitness. It should just continue and continue and continue.

45:10Kate Rowe-Ham: Will I finish it by the time I'm dead? Feels unlikely, but we press on. Anyway, one day, maybe. oh well excellent well thank you for telling about us about your book the longevity solution 21 days to health strength and vitality that's my absolute pleasure i feel more vital already helen thorne i'm gonna live forever have you ever been stuck on a weight loss plateau trying everything and anything you can to lose that extra weight and reach peak health we've all been there but nooms unlocked the secret to reaching the mountaintop go in micro the noom Noom GLP-1 microdose program starts at$99 and is delivered to your door in 7 days.

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47:24Kate Rowe-Ham: Oh, well, I believe it is the time for the Scummy Mummy Confessions. I don't know why I said that like an AI robot. There you are. That is my voice, everyone. No lakes have been drained in the making of this podcast. Yes, let us speak of them. Helen? I think Kate, Kate, I guess you go first because I know you said you had one to share. I do have quite a lot of mum guilt with my third child who is very self-sufficient because he's almost forgotten about. He is very loved. And my big two would say he's our favourite. So just to give context. Balance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But because he is my third child by a considerable margin, I sort of tend to mute the WhatsApp group that pings quite a lot.

48:06And so I miss the key moments.

48:08Kate Rowe-Ham: Do you mean like the school or the class? The class. Right, okay. Yeah. And only last week, there was, in Sussex, there was no water, so school was off. And, you know, loads of people, online work, and I just literally ignored all of it, only to find out or to see the last message at like three. It was about where parents' evening was happening. And I hadn't yet booked the slots, so I had to email the school and ask them to reopen the booking system. a big kind of Mrs. Roham has not booked parents evening at all. Wearing their hat of shame. Wearing their hat of shame. But you know what? It fits in with my profile at school.

48:44So I haven't, you know, I delivered on what was possibly expected. You were on brand. You were on brand. My Scrummy Mummy confession is that I've got two. I think I'm a bit gluten intolerant. And so I'm very fat-solent on many occasions, but especially on tour, because I eat a lot of bread. And so we checked again into the premier room. Oh, this is amazing. Ellie went into her room down the corridor. Steve the roadie checked into his, and mine was much further down the corridor. They were opposite each other. And so I'd been holding onto this fart very politely in the van. I thought, I'm going to let this one go.

49:24I really fucking let, like really it was, it had both noise and smell. and I farted so vigorously outside my own hotel door but then Steve the roadie who hadn't got into his room said turn around Thorn and there were two men, two workmen

49:45Kate Rowe-Ham: two workmen behind me. In high vis but beside me holding the high vis vests up as if to shield themselves from the blood. So horrified. Like God they had hard hats on. Smiled at me and went in and I looked at them in the eye and then had to hurry myself in horrible horrible okay so that was that didn't follow through no i did not oh so oh god god i still get i still get the shudders and then the next day we went out for lunch very nice very nice lunch lovely lunch um you know in the countryside ellie always puts a lovely lunch anyway i ordered the duck and i love duck but it can be tough anyway so i'm having again vigorously trying to cut this duck and I could not get through Kate I could not get through Ellie's having a beef Steve's having his sausages after many areas of the duck I thought maybe that's that bit of the breast is hard maybe that bit of the I realized I'd been trying to cut the duck with the knife upside down.

50:4747. Upside down knife! What?

50:57What's wrong with me, Kate? Nothing's wrong with you. How long am I going to live? How long she got?

51:04Kate Rowe-Ham: Be a mercy for all of us. When she threaded it. No! Kate, I'm sorry. We missed end. I don't want it to. I'm having such a lovely time. Let's go out for dinner. Go for a curry. Yeah. Thank you very much for listening, listeners. Where are we going on tour next, Helen Thorpe? Oh, well, I cannot wait to go to Hartford three nights in a row, Ellie. Me neither. And Scotland is amazing. Where I'm really looking forward to going is Manchester. Yes, I am also. Is the amount you're looking forward to going to these places proportional to the number of tickets we've sold for the gigs? Yes, it is currently.

51:38I would really, really love it if you, listener, were in Manchester and were coming to our gig. That would make me very happy. You're not bothered about Edinburgh because we've sold out. Sold out in Edinburgh, exactly. No feelings about that. Yes, we're doing very strong in Aberdeen. But Manchester, come on down. And then we're off to Newbury, Cambridge. We've even got a gig in South Norwood, would you believe, Ellie, in May. I would believe that because I've booked it. Yes, thank you very much. Stanley Arts, thank you. hey we've just bought a gig on the 2nd of july in norwich yeah bang bang coming back at the epic uh studios which is brilliant and then just cruising into um places like where are we going at the end of the devisers tiverton yeah and other places i haven't heard of exactly even though

52:27Kate Rowe-Ham: you've been to them yes exactly excellent uh so yes your book is when's your book out kate the 12th of February so order now pre-order that's wonderful thank you Kate no thank you so much for having me thank you for coming and again thank you for listening until next time bye bye bye

52:52Kate Rowe-Ham: that will be my son now sorry excuse me hey set on my knee a minute yeah why so listen I have to think up a scummy mummy confession what's your mum done recently it's a bit gross. Or bad. This could really go wrong. Or really? It could go badly wrong but luckily I can edit it out. I can make something up, right? No. No! What's some bad parenting that I've done recently? There mustn't be something. I'm ahead with it. Oh, I don't know. No. I mean, there is something but it's not terrible. What is it? It just didn't do very good for me in the long term. Oh, God. We are talking about longevity so this is a good...

53:28Longevity? Yes. I've got one. Go on, Jo. So, a couple of days ago I was watching cartoons and quite a lot of people in the cartoon are ducks and then when I went to bed I was not sure if I was a real person or if I was a duck.

53:43Kate Rowe-Ham: Easily done. And you let me do that. What do you mean? You let me watch the cartoon. You let me watch like seven episodes of it. I let you watch Duck Tales. It's not American Psycho. What's wrong with Duck Tales? Have I heard of Duck Tales? I beg your pardon. I'm OG. Have we heard of Duck Tales? Yeah, I'm on. I haven't seen the 1987 one yet. Have you heard of... That is mine. I used to wait to watch it on Freeview. Have you heard of The Godfather? I'm a loving little. Come on. Anyway, thank you so much for your contribution. Bye. Bye, Jo. Don't go watching any more Duckdale. No, I can't promise that.

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