200 Episodes Of The Therapy Crouch: BP Garage Wine, iCloud Fails & Classic Crouchy Moments

0:00Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change. Your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just$5. Only at McDonald's for a limited time. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a course for change. Now is the time to make a real change in your life, career, and community. At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W. you. Walden's online programs are designed for working professionals like you.

0:33You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shev. happy birthday to us happy birthday to us it's our 200th episode gang welcome to the fucking therapy crouch we're having a party we're having a party are we who would have thought it oh god you made it guys 200 wow that's phenomenal 200 why do you feel 200 just finished this this kind of idea was born you know we we created this whole environment that people have really kind of got on board with i'm proud of that i'm proud of it you should be yeah you know that's a good thing it's amazing to do something we love and people love it as well you know You know, I know they're laughing at our lives and not with us.

1:48That's okay. You know, a lot of people like we go, you know, I was just on the train recently, you know, people are listening as we speak. People like it, you know. Yeah. And, you know, something that we kind of created and, you know, we're not fucking reinventing the wheel. Let's be honest. We're a couple that do the podcast. I get rather fucking couple on this planet. But I just think we were reasonably early with it. And, you know, it's gone well. Yeah. Yeah. And we like doing it. And 200 episodes and we're still going strong. Stronger than ever. Stronger than ever. Well, it's weird. I went back through all the archive to sort of plan for this week's episode.

2:25And it's crazy how many different iterations of you guys there's been, even in these 200 episodes. What do you mean? Well, you film. Well, I mean, like you had, I guess, polyps. You sounded a little bit different at the start. Went from the polyps five, didn't I? Yeah. I've come out of that. Yeah. Been on a new medication. Jepixion. Really helped me. Shout out. Different locations, like in your house living room, then a little studio, and then you went to Portugal for a while. So, like, I don't know, it's been quite a journey in those 200 episodes. There has been a lot, hasn't there? I actually feel like we've done more than 200 episodes.

3:00Don't you? No, if you think about that, 200 episodes, say one a week for a while, and then it was two a week. It's a lot of fucking episodes. It's a lot of chat and shit. It is true. And there was only like a couple of us at the start, you know, like obviously John and Ross. It was a kind of family environment and people have gone different ways. We've got the new team in helping us and you've been great, guys. Thank you to all of you who have worked on this as well because you've taken us to the next level. And thank you to you, you know, for being my wife. every single day and you know and listen we have a lot of fun but probably don't tell each other enough that we love each other and I think we do I tell you 10 times a day well yeah I say it but you know like I mean no no like tell you even say you say it but I don't mean it no you say like it's literally about to go around and say bye I love you but you know that's a throwaway comment I don't think we sit down and go explain reasons why I love you go on then why because you're just great on this pod

4:14no we have we have what i mean we do this kind of when the cameras aren't rolling is this isn't like we don't just turn this on i think the guys behind the camera can testify to the fact that 100 we are the same people when the minute this goes on to what we are after yeah hence why none of our friends listen to this literally just telling the stories that we tell if we went for a dinner yeah yeah yeah because it's exactly what we would do isn't it and I think that's why it works because I think any of it's false you know there are things that we probably don't say you know we've tried to go through certain episodes without when we've had arguments we actually don't do an argument when we've had episodes when we've had an argument because you're such a baby and like I'm not doing it well yeah because you pushed me to a certain point where it's completely untenable to do a podcast or be in the same room as you.

5:10But I kind of love that because that's real in a way, isn't it? Sorry, wasn't this like, didn't this start because he was going to tell me how much he loves me? I've actually written it down weekly shines only for this episode. We're just going to be a big celebration. Well, I'll be honest with you, I've done 200 episodes and I still can't get on the fucking episode plan. You haven't even picked up this iPad in 200 episodes. No, that's true. So Pete, I know Gaz is slightly nervous of you scrolling down the iPad too much. Do you want to tell us what I guess? Right. I haven't had like an iPhone for like 10, 15 years.

5:44Why? I switched to Android. I'm one of those guys. Oh, shock. I give Android wanker. I give Android wanker. But I don't understand. Android loadweber. Android loadweber. I don't know what a... An Android webber. Android webber. I don't know what an Android is. Is that a Samsung? I can't. The word Android just sounds like an alien, doesn't it? Android. Oh my God. I saw two episodes, so I'm not going to go on this war conspiracy theory that's of today. But I will in a minute. I want to know more about your... Well, I discovered today, I just turned it on and it's linked to like my iCloud, I guess.

6:24I don't understand how it works. And I just saw a picture of me. Let's be honest, Gaz, is there dip pics on here? Quite a lot. I must have been prolific in my 20s. Yeah, it was... I want to see. No, you can't. You can't. I just noticed on the homepage... Don't, don't. On the homepage, which is me. Like, from an angle... Sorry, I won't put my hands in the shot. From, like, the high angle, you know, like the MySpace angle. Just, like, all out. What's a MySpace angle? Are you sending these to, like, ladies of the... You know, like, to, like, ladies out there? I guess at the time, yeah. Oh, you say ladies of the naivy?

7:01No, I wasn't. I was going to say ladies like that you're trying to engage with. He just has my whole camera roll from like 10 years ago. So it's a little walk down memory lane, but not a safe one. He has never, ever sent me a D-pic in his life. No, I've sent you a couple of things. Do you remember the bank card one we used to be holding? Bank card. I said to Pete, could you send me a picture of your bank card? Because I needed to pay for something. Yeah. Front and back. And he just put it like, because it's like in shot. And I was like, I didn't even notice. I was so proud of it. I love that. Just put my helmet next to the...

7:36So, you know, like... So, because I thought she might show... There it is, you know what I mean? I did, I sent it to Bloody Miss Border. Because it was supposed to be just on the side. Imagine if you fall it in. I did, because I needed the bank card, so I just got it, didn't even look at it and sent it, and then Pete's, like, little tiny helmet and everything back on. She's done, yeah. Oh, phenomenal. I've still got it. Still got it. I thought that helmet gag was a cracker oh yeah you would did you not you did love it let's see Gaz's dick pics anyway absolutely not go on gallery Sam stop him Sam stop him Sam well listen actually before you get too far he's not is he oh mate what are you doing that's not bad actually Get it off himself.

8:28Million of dollars there. Is he cheating on? You can't write that, guys. He's in his local David Lloyd. He's in the local... For fuck's sake. Guys, you're in the local David Lloyd. You can't, mate. That's not that bad. No, no, no, no. There's one on the old shot. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's definitely from a gay website. Oh, yeah. That's a grinder, that, mate. A minute ago, you said you didn't know how to navigate the whole thing. Look at it. Now you've gone deep in there. Do you worry about me, son? In the David Lloyd, it's the Italian Riviera. What, I know. You know, this episode's all about you guys, all right?

9:08Enough about me. Hey, listen. Guys, you've got to do what you've got to do. Do you know what I mean? You've got to put yourself out there. If you're going to put yourself out there, people are going to take shots of you, no? Thanks, mate. You've got to take a shot. No, he took them himself. No, that's what I mean, but, you know, he's obviously putting them out there. We should ask all our listeners if they've got any of those pictures that they received from Gaz to send them in.

9:34Jesus Christ. Well, it's been lovely being on the show, guys. See you see. No, listen, in the, just to segue, in the old days, you would have a little glass of wine and do your weekly wines. Hence the name weekly wines, right? Yeah. I'm not going to be able to look at you the same now. Thanks, Sam. Fuck me, bye. I don't know what it is. I think I feel the colour of that wine. Okay, so this is from the Secret Sommelier. That's right. Yeah, so back in the day you do your weekly wines. Well, yeah, well, I mean... Mine's quite potent. Bloody hell. So have we got different ones then? Yeah, the concept is, I think, that you don't know what wine you're drinking and they give you like five in a box.

10:10So you've both got different ones. Does anyone ever know what wine they're drinking? Would you want to... Because back in the day we used to say a wine and then we would cheers it.

10:23Okay. Well. You don't like that one, do you? You can be honest. I think you're allowed to not like the wine. What notes are we getting, guys? Well, I'll be honest with you. To compare it to the last wine I drank, and I know what you were thinking. You were thinking it's a real, real nice one. The last wine I drank was from the BP garage. At half past ten at night. Oh, yeah. On the liveroo. And there was a 38-minute wait for a nice one or a 10-minute wait for a BP garage one. and I asked the ladies, the gentlemen, not am, what do you want, 10 or 38 minutes? And they both opted for the... He said, isn't there a five-minute one?

11:01For the£2.99 BP garage ride. Was it£2.99? £2.99 it was. Ugh, Pete, no wonder we felt like death the next time. The deliverer of three, I think it was£2.50,£3.50, all in. £3.50 maybe, so. Nice, fair play. Well, look, the way this works is they range five from£10 to£30, so you don't know which one you've got right now. I do. I've got the answer right here. You're both drinking the same. Yeah. I quite like that. I don't love it. I quite like it. It's very vinegary. Is it? If you were to guess, is it like a Shiraz, a Pinot, a Merlot, a Bobble? Never heard of that. Borrello. It just says Bobble. Bobble?

11:44I don't know. Michael Bobble. What do we think? If you were to guess? I'm going to say Pinot Noir. Spot on. Spot on. She knows her wines. Are they vinegary then? They're a bit punchy, aren't they? Yeah, a bit punchy, but they're quite thin. If that makes sense. It's probably not a word used to describe wine. Well, we're not connoisseurs, are we? We're not pretending to be connoisseurs. As I said, I mean, we went BP was the last purchase we made. Shall we have a little cheers to 200 episodes? Yeah. Well done, babe. Well done, guys. just to answer that if you were curious that is the Pinot Noir and it's actually the most expensive one in the list it's 30 quid it's 30 quid that one it's a 30 quid one 30 pound called Luke's Pinot Noir well there we go right babe we've got some audience 200th shines here Julia B says absolutely love the pod my favourite memories from the show was all the nicknames particularly the woman's name who was whose name was Joy Button being nicknamed Clitoris Hi guys, hope this finds you all fit and well.

12:52Listened to a podcast the other day, love the nickname game. Reminded me of a great one I heard on another pod. It was a family who had an auntie nicknamed Clit. Obviously, whilst growing up, they had no idea to the meaning, but on getting older, put two and two together and realised it was because her name was Joy Button. Joy Button. Her name was Joy Button? Yeah. That's disgusting. I said Kless. I thought the name was going to be like Kless and the kids couldn't say it. Joy Button. Joy Button. That's hysterical. Oh my God. I hope this makes it your podcast. The children only think I'm inappropriate and haven't shared it with them yet.

13:41So this would be amazing. Kay from Hexham. Great banter. What a nickname. Her name was Joy Button, wasn't it? I don't remember that. Do you remember that? Her name was Clit. Fantastic. Aunty Clit, that was it, yeah. That was so bad. Yeah, but I don't think people call it a Joy Button. No, but her name was actually Joy Button. Yeah, that was it, Aunty Joy. Yeah, but I wouldn't automatically think of that. What else is it for? You need to find out where it is first, sister. Hi, I was Pete and Gaz. I love your podcast. Not only do I break my shite laughing at each episode, but to see genuine love you both have for each other warms the soul.

14:21Here's to 200 more episodes, anniversary blessings. That's from Tracy. Aww. That's nice. My 200th shine is impossible to say. I have no idea what my fave thing is, but I've listened to every single episode and I've even had an Ask Me Anything read out about the earlobes, which made my day. My only request is keep doing what you do and keep brightening the day with the laughs. This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a course for change. Now is the time to make a real change in your life, career, and community. At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W.

15:01Walden's online programs are designed for working professionals like you. You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shev.

15:25Okay, congrats Cardi P and San Marino. So out of all the nicknames you've all had, which one is your favorite? And have any of them stuck around the house with regards to the family? I mean, fuck me. What's mine? Cardi P? Yeah. What have I had? Where did Shinless Wonder come from? We get that all the time. We were talking about lycra the other day. And I said something to you. I said, oh, Pete, your legs are as thin as my arm or something. And you went, well, that's why I don't wear lycra. That's why I don't wear it. Or something like that. No, it wasn't that. It wasn't that. It was something like...

16:02As if I'd love to wear lycra. And you went, well, that's why I don't wear it. And I was like, oh, my God. He said, I could get away with it on the top half. I didn't say that. Yes, you did. You said that. You said that. I think you look hot in Lycra anyway. That's not true. You went as Batman for Halloween, in fact. Only because I just wore all black and put a Batman... No, it's because you just wanted me to pave off your chin. Did I have a good chin in it? You've called me the chinless wonder before. Chinless wonder. Pete's got a very small chin. I've got a small chin. I don't know why I get so much grief.

16:34I reckon I could break that with one dick. One dick. No way. I've never been knocked out. Can't grow muscles on your chin, Pete. What? Can't grow muscles on your chin. What's going on then? You definitely can. Got attention. That ain't muscle. It's a chuckle muscle. Very good. It's another cracker from Ab. What was the other one? Saggy sack? She came up with a few weeks ago. Sadgy ass. All the nice ones. Is there anything you like about me at all? Everything, babe. Is there an nickname that you want to come up with? It's called banter. It's called banter. Oh, is it? Yeah. Well, it feels like very much putting me down, banter.

17:13Oh, no, it's not. It is though. No, the chinless wonder is because we said Pete had a small chin. Oh, right, okay. I wasn't over the moon about it, so it stuck. Oh, because we were talking about Batman. Oh, okay. Batman having a prominent chin. It's like, is this too kidney? She said I could never play Batman. You could, if you do that.

17:40fucking hell what names have you had all derogatory as well San Marino San Marino what else the clans I just love the fact that you made that up yourself you tried to incorporate a nickname no I didn't my friend Max calls me that the clans he does honestly we were talking about nicknames we said you know like Oh, God, all my friends. Everyone calls me the clans. No, I didn't. I was like, I don't know one person that calls you that. Max does. Max calls me it. Okay. Yeah. I get called Gail, which I don't like. Gail? Gail. Oh, I see. I thought you meant like the bakery. Fair enough. I like that. I think that's a nice name.

18:26Gail. Well, I get Ped and P. They're the ones that clans. I call you Peds. Peds. Pedro, of course, yeah. Pedro. Congrats, Pete and Abby. Tom here. uh abby when peter first ever met your dad did they instantly get along what was your family's first impressions have they ever had to tell him off love the pod been a listener for years put it on to fall asleep most nights that's a compliment i think it is that because you you do don't you yeah it's nice to fall asleep to something yeah nice isn't it comforting yeah comforting exactly i do the same yeah so i think for you my dad it was love at first sight wasn't it really I love him more than I did then not as much as Samara no that's cute I know he has never told him off in fact even when I've called my dad and said can you have a word to them he won't he'd more shout at me rather than Peter Peter's the golden boy he does call me and does say I am shouting at you now has he?

19:33He hasn't done before. No, he hasn't. Yes. Does he? No, I love your dad. He's like, we've got a lot in common. Yeah. I think in many ways. And I think we're always going to get on. Yeah. Yeah. Which is good, I think. Oh my God. It's great. I think it's great to have a good relationship with you and Lars. I think it's essential, isn't it? Yeah. It's essential. Well, it's nice. I think for you, you know, obviously you love your dad, don't you? And hopefully you love me. Yeah. So it's nice to see them getting along. Yeah. This is from Evelyn. When Abby says little squirts and just an inch. I die I always die when do I say little squirts I wanted to ask you that where's little squirts come from I couldn't find that in the archive are they talking about like the kids maybe little squirts no I think just an inch is always that's your saying a little inch yeah should you have a little glass you would have an inch just an inch have a little inch one for the road one for the road it is a scousing they said it on The City of Zars last night one for the road but he was actually going to his death oh god spoiler alert oh come on I haven't seen it it looks phenomenal though it's good though a clip came up it looked really tense around a table it was like a mafia guy that was the same it was good yeah it looked very tense alright guys I reckon for the main bit I don't know if you've ever done this on the show before but I think we could give out awards for some of our favourite memories some of the things like the wildest guests we've ever had the best agony abs of the year that kind of thing so we've got some contenders there I don't know if you want to read them off the list, P.

21:03Wildest guest. There's only one for me. Yeah, and me. Who are you thinking? I think the wildest pod we did was with Amanda Holden and Alan Carr. Oh, yeah. I work from home and my office is upstairs. I don't know where this is going. Well, I do know. I know. On the side of my house next to my loved-up neighbour, almost every day, honestly, around 8.30am, it starts. A.M.? Moaning, groaning and the headboard banging. They're listening to heart. They're moaning. They're moaning and groaning. They're listening to Amanda's... Half breakfast. Maybe they're just trying to get out of bed. Wow. That's how I sound on a Sunday.

21:44They're in a walking bath. The doors slam behind them. Yeah. It's so clear through the wall of my office. It feels like they're in the same room. It's so loud. I worry when taking work calls that people might think I'm watching porn or something. If they hear the racket in the background, It goes on for about an hour. An hour come off it. Let's give them a round of applause. Every morning. What a guy. Wow. Wait, there's more. It's shocking and turning my stomach a bit, to be honest. It's getting increasingly hard to look at this cute little loved-up couple now. What should I do? I'm honestly tempted to knock or bang on the wall just to let them know I can hear it.

22:25Hopefully, that would prompt them to move to another room for a marathon morning sex session. I would appreciate any advice he's probably fell out the bed she's dropped a walking stick he's picking him up yeah it's probably that it's just trying to get up don't you think I think trying to get it up yeah that was a good one we just got absolutely smashed the champagne was flowing way before we started the pod yeah must have been two bottles in probably by the time we got to the thing and there is such a laugh we just had a laugh like it was constant laughing and then And sometimes we just forgot we were even caught.

23:02I was actually the most professional there, I thought, that day. You were holding in together. I was like, where's this Peter come from? Yeah, it was. He was, like, trying to be all, like, Trevor MacDonald on us. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I went Trevor MacDonald, Roddy, so, like, herding cats. Yeah, and I'm not very professional, but I was the most professional that day. Everyone else was just, they were telling stories that were just not for the pod. i was like they must be very trusting of us thankfully yeah there's a lot that was said and i was like fucking hell oh great i saw a headline she came out and gave an interview said it was such a wild shoot she was grateful for the editing team did you see this yeah yeah she said about that part that specific part she was like we had so much fun but thank god there's an editor yeah it's a safe space this one well it is you know you wouldn't guests wouldn't want to come on if it was, you know, if they said something that they then go, and then we put it out, we'd be right.

23:59We're not like **** or anything. They were like stitches you right up. And you go, yeah, I fucking stitched you right up. What happened? Yes. What happened? I asked him to take something out and he didn't and left it in and I got to a bit of trouble. Really? Yeah. I think our guests know it's a safe space, unlike others, but we wouldn't do that to our guests on here. No, of course. We don't need to. Pod beef. We don't need a bit of controversy to raise our numbers. Do you know who also made the list? Lib. You have to include Lib there. Oh, my God. It's got an L to a degree. That was quite a chaotic episode, I reckon.

24:34They're good episodes. They're great. They're the best, aren't they? Yeah. I also think like early days, you know, Jamie Buckley and his Mrs. Wood. Oh, they were fabulous. That was a great episode, wasn't it? Hey, Abbey and Pete. I've been on several dates with someone I met on Hinge, who I didn't know beforehand, sadly, don't share any mutual friends with. He's really funny. we laugh a lot well we haven't been able to get our bonk beats playlist going yet sorry that's something we talked about on the podcast it's people who put music on to have sex bonk beats called a bonk beat right so like what's your bonk beat what is your bonk beat it was just like American Dad in the background I think so yeah American Dad the cartoon just whatever Sopranos whatever's on the television it's just whatever whatever if the kids walk in we can just go watching we're just watching Family Guy I'm like this.

25:22You know what I mean? Just watching some Family Guy. Do you remember when you said it? If he wants it. Oh, God! We had some great guests over the years. And the shag and the aunt as well. The shag and the aunt, yeah. That was wild, wasn't it? You had no voice. To make that episode even stranger, you had no voice throughout the whole thing. So you're being presented with paraphernalia and you couldn't even talk. Couldn't even speak. Yeah, that looks good. It sounded husky. You sounded like your dad went down your throat, mate.

25:57So good. The best agony abs of 2026, right? We've got the interpretive crab dance lingerie man. The drunk lad who went into the wrong bedroom. His mum's naked after a night out. What was the crab dance lingerie man? It was a man, a wife came home to find the husband in a suit. In his lingerie. With lingerie on top. In her lingerie. Yeah, dancing. Crab dancing. Do you remember that one? Do you remember this? That was a bit strange. Yeah. The man who ordered the Moxel pink innocence whilst sunbathing face down. You loved this one. That was it. That was it. That was his wife. He gave him the bit.

26:31He was face down and he ordered a pink innocence. This is from Chris. Hello, Pedro, Abby and Gaz. My wife and I love the pod. My wife. It's now become a regular highlight of our car journey, especially pre-holiday. It started with my wife, my wife, putting them on and has now reached the point where I ask for them to go on. I really need your help to regain my manliness. On a recent holiday to Greece, my wife informed me that I gave her the ick on several occasions. Once for sunbathing, lying on my front. With my arms by my side. Imagine that. Oh, my God. She looked and said, oh, move now. Ick.

27:09At my position. I stopped drinking alcohol in 2020, so on holidays I also order... Ick. I order mocktails. Oh, God, love it. When the waitress came over, my wife ordered her a margarita, and I said, I'll have a pink innocence, please.

27:27Imagine lying, sunbathing on your front, and leaning back and just saying, pink innocence, please. Pink innocence. I give me the... She said, it arrived in a huge fishbowl with petals on. She couldn't look at me holding it. One morning, while getting dressed, I was singing How Far I'll Go, from Moana to myself. Banger. When I looked up, she was shaking her head and then making a gagging sound. Oh, my God. At the end of the holiday, a couple we met asked if we'd had a good week, and my wife was filling them in and then concluded with, and I think my husband has finally grown a vagina. Arthur's turned into Martha.

28:07Unbelievable. Oh, bless. The person who was out wedding ring shopping with his girlfriend's best friend, while the girlfriend said she was also out with the same best friend. Oh, yeah, that was kind of... she quite sad that was yeah sounds horrendous that's why the agony ab sometimes you know they're gonna be that was agony that one that was yeah horrible that uh the couple who tried to spice things up in the bedroom with uh home renovating role play until the fella gave a quote for his off conversion

28:38so he was the handyman it's unbelievable he was the handyman the commitment and she's actually she's actually given her a quote turned off instantly that is great phenomenal stuff the couple who left their toy in the main drawer leading to Abby's key bowl confession do you remember this one no didn't your girls get you your girls got you something oh my god and you just left it at the front bowl or something. Because I'm actually pure innocence. I'm sure. So what would you give the best award to there? What are we handing it out to? Oh, it's a difficult one. I quite like the pink innocence. I do like that one.

29:17Agony Abs. I mean, nothing compares to race day Jack for me. Well, I've got another one here. Hi, Abby and Pete. I was recently at the races on a works corporate gig, spending money that I most certainly do not have on the company card when I got chatting to what I can only describe as an absolute worldie at the bar. Normally, I'd give myself an outside chance of about 100 to 1 on managing to even chat to a girl of this calibre, never mind puller. However, a bit like red rum, I surprised everyone that day and overcome all the hurdles in front of me. Fast forward a week, and we have had the best first day ever.

29:52A gondola ride down Camden Lock, followed by a very expensive raw fish at Nobu with non-stop cocktails and clubbing till the early hours to round it off. Being a traditional gent, I decided that this date should all be on my plastic to uphold the illusion I created on race day. Oh, no. However, after a couple of texts from Santander to let me know I'm in an unarranged overdraft, I have decided that life as race day jack is not sustainable. Oh, no. Race day jack. I have been delaying our second date with some pretty poor excuses in the hope that payday will come round and bail me out. Do you think I should come clean with the girl or just enjoy some short but lavish good fun with somebody I probably normally would never have a chance with?

30:36Jack, 21 from Essex. Oh, Jack. He's gone all in on the first date. It's never a good thing. No, I agree. It's never a good thing because... This is where I was sensible, taking you to the... It was only up from the local pub. Yeah, I agree. It's a good starting block. I agree. It's a lot of pressure to put on himself. And it's also creating an illusion of he's someone he's not. And I think that's a terrible foundation for any new relationship. Do you think too many men potentially do that though? Like they go all out for, you know. Yeah, and then it gets worse. Treat the world and then go downhill from there.

31:13But is it better to just have a great first date and then build from there after? I don't know. It's a tough one because would he have got the chance had he not taken her to those great places? But if she's a girl who only wants to go to nice places and be wined and dined, then she's no good for them. That's a valid point. Like, if you're like, you know, at the end of the day, take everything away. It's the company that matters. And I know that sounds cheesy and a cliche, but it is. You know, and I think lockdown was a perfect example of that. You know, even if you had a private jet or 10 houses all over the world, you couldn't go there.

31:50You were together in your space. And if you didn't get on, you were fucked. and I think that's why a lot of relationships split up during lockdown because, you know, people weren't going to work, they weren't doing their own thing and they were together and flaws and cracks started to appear. So I think it's very important to be yourself on the first date. Everyone likes a nice thing. Let's like, you know, you can't deny that. I think, I don't know what the answer is here. I think Jack just comes clean, just goes, you know, yeah, just scale back the date and go, and if she doesn't like it, why aren't we going to Nobu why aren't we going to the race why aren't we doing this why aren't we doing that yeah just scale it all back and go no I just wanted to get to know you on this time and if she goes oh and she's disappointed and she's then she's obviously only in it for the good times it's not for you there's no sustainability there and sustainability is key in this day and age isn't it that was one of the all time classics I think yeah I'm a big fan of the face down Pink Innocence man I just think what a legend he's face down pink innocence please he's so comfortable in his own skin yeah I like it I think so that's a winner listen we got the most questionable advice of all time and let's be honest it is called the therapy crouch but when you write in please don't expect real therapy you are going to get it here unfortunately you're either going to get a fuck them off or a grow up to be fair yeah I've got some examples of some of the advice we've given here Millie asking for advice on how to get her fella to pop the question.

33:23Pete said, play it cool. Abby said, go ask him. She asked and on Valentine's Day, surprised her on a cruise in Rio. Now, do you remember this? Because you cried after this. Do you remember this? Oh, yeah, because she was on a cruise with her mom or something and then he met her there. Great memory. Good memory. Obviously, advice to enjoy the shabba, but it's also like, it almost became enjoy responsibly. It's like enjoy the shabba, but enjoy it by being responsible. Don't shabba strangers. Great advice. Although I don't mind shuffering a little stranger every now and then. Do you? Yeah. When do you do that?

33:56When we're out. Do you? Well, I haven't seen you, I haven't seen you, do you? Just do it randomly, do you? Finger up people's arses when I'm not looking. Yeah. Do you? Yeah. I could kill up. What binds women the same way football bonds men? Do you ever sing about Charlotte Tilbury? No. Do you remember this? Oh, she's a cracker. You're like, Charlotte, no, you're it. Do you remember this? in Portugal. Oh yeah, I remember that, but I don't remember, oh Charlotte Tilbury, sorry, I was thinking of Charlotte Church there when you were singing. Charlotte Tilbury. Yeah. Vitali Briata. This is great advice, you never see a soldier going to battle with a hard-on.

34:35Mm-hmm. Great advice. Yeah. But that was from a doctor, wasn't from me, so I'm an actual doctor. Was it? Yeah. What's the context of that from a doctor? Well, I was saying you don't feel, you don't feel sexy and stuff if you've got anxiety. So if you're going into battle, it's not sexy. No, it was that because it was like you don't feel sexual, you don't feel into it if you're kind of mentally unprepared for it, you know, if you're not relaxed. Yes. So you're going in stressed with anxiety, as you would do if you were going over the, you know, into battle. Yes. You wouldn't have an erection and be horny.

35:11No. Which is a valid point. There's actually some good advice there. Yeah. In there somewhere. I wasn't expecting that. Is that correct? Yes, correct, correct. What about you? What do you think is the most questionable advice you've ever given? Well, I just think sometimes we're a bit throw away with the old fuck them off. You know, these people might be in 10-year relationships. And I think it's very, for us to read the email and then go, fuck them off. I think maybe we could go a bit deeper into that. No, I just, I think it's easier giving a stranger advice, isn't it? Other than taking advice yourself.

35:44I think it's a lot easier giving advice than taking it in general. Yeah, because there's a lot more factors to go into it. We just read what's on this piece of paper. Yeah. Or on this iPad that Yaz has got dick pics on.

36:00I quite like that girl who went horse riding and fell off the horse and had to like... She went on a... She was like sagging school or whatever. She's a teacher and she skipped school, fell off a horse, was like head to toe in bruises and then we had to go into school and make a lie up. Make a massive lie up. That was so funny. Oh, my God. What was her life? Oh, I can't remember now. She wrote a whole thing, didn't she, really? Yeah. How is that what it was? Well, I cannot believe that we are 200 episodes in. I remember this was something that we kind of talked about doing. We were nervous about doing it, and we were just like, you know what, let's just go for it.

36:34Yeah. We did it during lockdown. I mean, the early episodes are very different, really, to where we are now. So I don't think they are. I think, you know, it's always been us. Unfiltered, sexy fun. I reckon we've lived up to that. I think we've lived up to that. And it's still as shambolic as always. No offence. Since the start, we have been very, you know, I think this pod is, it is a real, it is real. Do you know what I mean? There's, you know, I think the fans can see that. No, I like it when people come up to me and say some of the things that we've said on here. Oh, I've forgotten we've even said.

37:14and you know that the fact that it resonates is great um there's a few little moments that i've just been absolute gold and we'll leave you with a few of these now um i've loved doing it and i've loved i will continue to love doing it it's a nice question well i've thought about it sometimes. I'm still here. I'm still here. Let's leave you with this. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Tancy, and... Me, Peter Crouch. He looks quite sexy in the outfit, actually. Peter Crouch says, did you once throw a milkshake at Abby when you were younger? Yeah. I made it spill too.

38:04I spilled. My wine is the amount of golf that you play. You can't just say. No, that's recently. You can't just say one breath. No, he played, yeah. But this week's been bad. It was Wednesday. I'll tell you what happened. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Why didn't you plan that? I don't think I was allowed that day. Oh, sorry. I was just engrossed in this laugh a minute book. And? Me. Ross. Gaz is here. I'm on the line. We were like children. How old are we talking? 12, 13? And then, that's even probably a disagreement sort of. But over the top of the suit, he was wearing a set of my lingerie.

38:48Now, if he'd just been standing there looking embarrassed, I could probably have done with that. I could work with that. But no, he was dancing. Oh, my God. And not normal dancing, not nightclub dancing, not dad dancing, not even Peter Crouch at a wedding dancing he was shuffling around sideways around the room in a crouched position arms bent doing what looked like like a crab impression like some from the office I was thinking that all this going on but you wouldn't have girls like girl groups shouting like Versace you wouldn't have like fashion off you wouldn't have makeup off You would have me screaming.

39:32Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac. Charlotte, tell me. Imagine that. Charlotte, tell me. No, that's because women are fucking imbecile. But I told him he could have my number if he got Drake on. And he come back. That is so funny. And Drake was not on.