255. Bryony Deery: On Postpartum Recovery, Hormone Crashes, Birth Preparation & Pregnancy Fitness

28:08Gary Brecka:And we often talk about, you know, the universal law of attraction, right? You know, depending on the kind of frequency you put out is what you would attract in the universe. And there's a prevailing theory that women are more intuitive. Their intuition is heightened, not because they're more intuitive, but because they're more sensitive to frequency. And, and after pregnancy, they have this heightened sense of sensitivity to frequency. So that's so interesting. We call it intuition. Okay. But it's not intuition. It's actually a sensitivity to frequency. Okay. You know, like in my case, you know, my wife Sage, she's a very good judge of character just to categorize it and you know we'll meet somebody i'll like this guy oh yeah she's like i just don't like this dude i'm like well why we look at his shoes came in a ferrari he's got great suit like you know had a nice watch i mean what's wrong with him she's like i don't think you should have business with him and i'm like well why like what is it is i do eyes too close together like like give me some data and um and she's like i can't put a finger on but something's up and then six months later, I'm pulling the knife out of my back.

29:22Gary Brecka:Right. You know, and, and I think, you know, maybe as a part of this miracle of birth, um, because what I observed in my former spouse, when in all three of our kids was once we brought the baby home, I was petrified. I was like, I don't know what to do with this thing. I thought it was, I always felt like I was going to break it. Right. So it was like, so gentle. Like I would put her up and her head would fall and I'd be like, oh my god her neck broke you know and but there's so much more resilient than you think yeah i mean they're really tough and um and so i was i always approached my firstborn and by the time we got to three i was like just lay him on the floor yeah yeah he doesn't need a playpen yeah there's so many hand-me-down sorry dylan i'm not sure yeah yeah um you know like when you when you get on your first commercial flight with your first baby it's like the ringing brothers circus right you got the playpen you got the diaper bag you got extra formula like you always you always spot the first parent you know here's the seat belt to play with yeah it's like if you put them in the seat stick you in the back seat pocket um and and it is funny because you actually learn that they're a lot more um resilient but what fascinated me and it sort of correlated to what i had been reading was when my daughter would cry, it all sounded the same to me.

30:47Gary Brecka:And I'm like, she's just in there wailing. And she's like, no, she's hungry. Or she's gassy. Or she wants to be picked up. And I'm like, how do you know? But there was like this person that emerged that I never knew, but somehow was confident and understood what to do. And I was like, have you been reading books? Like, is there a manual somewhere I didn't get a copy of? Like, how do you just know? And I think it's a part of that miracle of birth, at least from having observed it. Like a woman just, this entire woman emerges from them that they've never met before. Your husband's never met before.

31:26Gary Brecka:And it just sort of takes over and has this confident sense of I know what to do. Did you sort of experience that? Yeah. It was wild for me. It's crazy because you kind of step into your, no matter like what your power dynamic in your relationship, when you bring that baby home, you are that, as I said, that lioness. Mom's large and in charge. Yeah, exactly. No doubt. And the dad kind of like follows in your footsteps. Just so you know, we're panic stricken. Oh, yeah. Okay, just we don't know what to do. And it's so hard on the dads too, you know, like we all talk about women, but it's hard for everyone and the ups and the downs and everything.

32:03But yeah, I completely experienced that. And especially with breastfeeding, I felt there was a lot going on with that that was surprising to me. But yeah, I saw actually one of these videos online where they recorded the mom and the baby, like the bedroom. And the baby would start crying. But what you saw on the video was the mom got out of bed like seconds before, woke up seconds before the cry. Right. So it's so crazy how in tune, but if you think about it, like you are literally on a cellular level bonded to that baby for nine months. And it's just, it's unbelievable when you think of it like that, you're so in tune with them when they come out.

32:52It's, it's crazy. So I think that is kind of, unfortunately the edge we have over that. So wild.

32:58Gary Brecka:I mean, again, this really correlates to what I was reading because they, you know what we call intuition is really this frequency and and for you to be that tied into the the baby and as their frequency is changing the mother senses it and yeah i mean there's lots of documentation of this right and and it's one of those miracles like i feel like we're only beginning to understand it as smart as we think we are mother nature has really outsmarted us you know even even when i used to feed uh you know and i always refer to the first child because i kind of had it down by the time the third one came around um you know i would pick up my daughter and she's like she wants a bottle and i would be like well shoving in her face and she turned her in her head yeah she's like and i'm like she doesn't want the bottle and then in and she would grab her and lay her a certain way and go right in she's like guzzling the milk yeah same thing happens with us arm than i do yeah but you know that must just be such an amazing time to like meet this person that was always been inside you, but just for whatever reason, wasn't presented to the world until, until this miracle of birth.

34:05Gary Brecka:But it is amazing. It's incredible. And I know you hate this phrase, but can we talk a little bit about the bounce back phase? We can, no, I don't even hate it. I hate that it's problematic. A thing, yeah. Yeah. Like who cares? Bounce back. If you want to bounce back, don't bounce back. Be calm, be, take your time, do whatever you want to do. But yeah, for me, to be completely honest, this is my job. This is what I love to do. So I do want to feel strong. I do want to also look strong. And I have physical goals as well. And I want to be strong in my mind for my baby. So yeah, there was definitely a kind of fitness protocol when I came back.

34:47I actually started working out two weeks after having L, which is typically it's normally six weeks. You get your doctor's check. You then start exercising. And I think that is good advice for someone that isn't very confident in the gym or in workouts. But otherwise, I think a lot of people know their own bodies.

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35:50Gary Brecka:Visit drinkh2tab.com. That's drinkh2tab.com and upgrade your hydration today. Now let's get back to the Ultimate Human Podcast. Probably has a lot to do with the preparation beforehand, right? Because there was, if you look at the break that you took between exercising through pregnancy and then having the birth and then starting to exercise again, probably has a lot to do with how early you can start that process. oh for sure i was i was working out the day before um delivery yeah the day before delivery what were you doing i gotta know i was doing pilates and lifting weights were you that's so and i was lifting heavy weights and i was doing a long class i felt felt empowered like it was i felt so heavy by that point and so sleep deprived but the one time i felt like me was when i was on the mat doing my workout, I felt empowered.

36:45I felt good. I was like in the zone, you know, that athlete mindset. I felt like, okay, I was almost training in that workout for the delivery, which of course they're, they're two very different things, but that was my mindset. So I think, as you say, having then two weeks off for the recovery and also sleep and just feeling like you had a tiny

37:06Gary Brecka:bit of energy at some point in the day. And then I was just gradually building up and building up. and now I'm pretty much back to my normal workouts. And how exactly far out? And I'm eight weeks. Oh my gosh. I mean, you look amazing. Thank you so much. And how are you feeling sleeping? I will be honest, like I feel good in clothes. Clothes are working wonders for me right now. But yeah, I'll be completely honest. I had a photo shoot yesterday with our community and at the beginning of the photo shoot, I just did like a few pictures that we had to get for some press images and I felt really not great.

37:45And, you know, I'm coming from someone that did get back to feeling, you know, good in clothes quite soon after giving birth and things. But, you know, the second you have like a camera, bad camera angle or whatever, you're like, oh God, you know, and that's just, that's just how it goes. And I think I'm working on giving myself more grace in that sense and being patient and it takes time and not everyone goes straight into a photo shoot after birth. So that was pretty stupid to do something like that. And we need to just stop putting pressure on ourselves in that sense and just get back to doing the things that make you feel good.

38:22So yeah, I've been working out, I've been doing, I do four Pilates classes a week from the app and I do two weight training sessions. So I do one upper and one lower kind of focused. Yeah.

38:35Gary Brecka:My wife is a part of your community. She loves it. Oh, I'm so pleased. Sage is a part of her community. What really got her into your community had nothing to do with birth or even Pilates. It was actually about your journey with your back injury because it really resonated with her. She had an L5S1 fusion from a really bad car accident. And it changed everything about her life because she was born in Steamboat Springs, so she grew up skiing and she's an expert, expert skier. um her nickname is safety sage and like she hasn't had a parking ticket since 1994 or something like we call her safety like if there's a crosswalk she goes all the way to the crosswalk makes a 90 degree angle waits for the light to change i'm already over there and half a block down the street you know like i've cut the street but when she gets on a pair of skis it's like lindsey vaughn i mean it's the craziest thing i've ever i've ever seen like just a little ponytail sticking out of a helmet and down the mountain she goes.

39:35Gary Brecka:And, um, uh, so this back injury was a really tough thing for her because, you know, it's very similar to your experience with your, you know, your, your back injury. And it just really resonated with her. And I will say, um, not just to plug your community, but she's, she's gotten a lot out of it. Oh, I'm so pleased. Yeah. When she sent that message, I, I was so passionate about her trying it because I know it will help. Yeah. And, you know, muscle is our metabolic currency. And I think, you know, when women think about weight training, strength training, resistance training, I think there's a stigma, if you will.

40:14Gary Brecka:You know, women don't want to get too big. They don't want to get too bulky. I think Dr. Gabrielle Lyon has done a great job of messaging about the importance of muscle. And, you know, there are a lot of, you know, great thought leaders in the space that you're very unlikely to get bulky by doing resistance training, but it probably had a significant impact on your ability to not only get through the birthing process, but this bounce back coming for two weeks for you to be out, be back to your full exercise routine. Yeah. It's pretty soon, you know, I would say barring a C-section, probably very few women are able to do that.

40:53Well, I mean, two weeks I was modifying. So I was building my core back up because it takes a lot. Like you're not able to fully do everything on your core or you still can train your core during pregnancy, but not everything. So I was building up and now I'm fully back to my full workouts, which is amazing. I'm back to doing my live classes and that feels really good. but it's it's a funny time i think i think for also for women now there is such a rise in the likes of a zempick and and things so i i do think postpartum mums have a harder time nowadays because there is that there's this kind of new world of a zempick feeling like is everywhere Yeah.

41:41And I think the comparison of, you know, different body types now, the norm and has changed. And I think that creates a lot of added pressure for women. So, um, yeah.

41:54Gary Brecka:So what is, um, has anything changed about your diet, your supplement routine? Um, you know, obviously exercise has got to be built around your, your, your, your child's schedule. Yeah. Do you mind me asking if you're breastfeeding? So I stopped breastfeeding after five weeks. Five weeks, okay. Mostly because just I needed to go back to work and it's a full-time job breastfeeding. Yeah, it is. It really is. I mean, what I didn't realize is that, I mean, during the day alone is like five times and each time it's like 45 minutes to an hour that you need to allow. So, I mean, how can you get anything done?

42:35Gary Brecka:Yeah. I've got so much respect for people that are able to do it and want to do it. I think whatever journey is great. But for me, I had to stop. I also noticed I really felt low with my hormones. Yeah. And I spoke to my doctor and again, like it's so weird and irrational, but I texted her and said, I'm so embarrassed. You know, I'm having these like low moments and stuff. She said, well, we can try an estrogen patch or we can, you can stop breastfeeding. And honestly, like almost to the day, it shifted. Wow. You know, I see this in menopausal women too. I've been trying to do a lot more content around, you know, female specific topics where there's a paucity of information.

43:19Gary Brecka:And, you know, since my wife just went through menopause, it was a big topic for us. And what I will say is we didn't notice or flag the signs of menopause early enough because it sort of crept in on her. It started with some brain fog and she was like, I'm just busy. We've got a lot going on. We're traveling a lot. But as soon as you see the hot flash, okay, that's like the big warning sign. And I think everybody goes, okay, hot flash, menopause. But what started years earlier was just the brain fog. The fatigue, especially in the morning, like she just couldn't get out of bed. And much to what you were saying, we did this test called the Dutch test, hormone test, a 24-hour urine test.

44:07Gary Brecka:And everything came glaringly apparent. She had no cortisol. Her melatonin was through the roof in the morning. So she was trying to wake up almost by taking a sleeping pill, right? Because the melatonin was so high. the cortisol was so low. It explained a lot of mood and emotional things. It explained the lack of libido. We've been very vulnerable and open about it because I think it will help a lot of women. For sure. But I'm happy to hear that your OBGYN offered estrogen because if there was just one lever to sort of torture a woman, it would be estrogen, right? Wow. Like everything that a woman does not want happens by changing estrogen and it's either dominance or lack thereof in the body, you know, skin elasticity, water retention, brain fog, you know, libido, energy, focus, concentration, short-term recall, like just by shutting that one switch off, it's like the hub of a wheel with all these spokes.

45:11Gary Brecka:It seems like whole world went to hell in a handbasket at once. And I think so many OBGYNs are afraid to suggest hormone therapy especially at your age yeah so that's really um i think progressive for him or her to have done that it's great and i'm so happy that we're talking about it because you just you just get so embarrassed like i really was like shocked by i thought you know you're guilty you convince yourself that you're invincible with this beautiful baby right yeah And I cannot describe to you the crashes. Like I would be like so, so happy having the best day. Everything was amazing, just like elated.

45:51And then all of a sudden, whoa, I feel the worst I've ever felt. I feel low, sad, dissociated, all these things, like literally one minute to the next. And again, like it's really sad that people, And probably a lot of people don't diagnose or delay the diagnosis because they do have that shame attached, which is really sad. And they probably feel like, you know, whether it's postpartum, they're worried that something's going to happen or, you know, with menopause and maybe they're embarrassed or something. And it's such a shame to feel like that when actually the diagnosis is the thing that will change.

46:30Gary Brecka:Yeah, you know, I really applauded our federal government of the Food and Drug Administration because they recently removed the black box warnings from female hormone therapy. There was a numerous study done called the Women's Health Initiative, and it looked at female hormone therapy over a prolonged period of time, tens of thousands of women. But it was really misreported. And the diagnostic underpinnings of this study were, they weren't manipulated in the study, but the information was manipulated. that did not show hormone therapy as having an increase in breast cancer, but that's what people thought for decades.

47:05Gary Brecka:And so women just completely avoided hormones. And getting testing for women and looking at her levels and ratios of hormones can completely change your life. So for you, stopping breastfeeding brought those back into a normal pattern. Exactly, yeah. And sorry, I completely went off on a tangent. You asked me about nutrition and supplements, but yeah, I think, I think really being so incredibly mindful of your nutrition is so important. And I don't mean cutting calories. I mean, fueling and nourishing your body, um, you know, getting healthy fats and lots of protein, lots of fiber, drinking a lot of water.

47:46That's especially if you're breastfeeding, you're so dehydrated and, you know, having, having more calories if you are breastfeeding. So I think it's really important. I think that is the time where you should be focusing on your nutrition more than ever.

48:03Gary Brecka:And you're not vegan or vegetarian, right? Okay. So, I mean, could you give us like a typical day's worth of meals? Yeah, sure. What does that look like? So in the morning, I'll have something like eggs or a protein shake if I'm in a rush. You got me back on eggs, actually. I think it's nature's perfect protein and berries. So I try and eat, you know, I guess protein powder is the one like process thing I would, I would be going for. And then I will have for lunch, I'll do like leftovers, which maybe is salmon, vegetables, rice. And then in the evening, maybe it's a steak, more vegetables, sweet potato, quinoa, something like that.

48:53And I'll have like for snacks, Greek yogurt, dark chocolate, nut butter.

49:00Gary Brecka:Has your palate just completely changed? Has it stayed the same? Or did you have any like those weird pregnancy cravings? You always hear of like pickles and ice cream or something crazy. I had just - Did you go off the rails? I went oh I had like extreme aversions I had crazy sickness for the first three months so certain like garlic the smell of like we were in Spain and like basically everything has garlic in the sea and normally I would love all the food in Spain and I was just like get me away from it it was my birthday I stayed in the room yeah I ate cereal for my birthday in the in the room But yeah, so there was a lot of aversions.

49:39I didn't have so much like craving, more like crispy, cold fruit, things like that. But yeah, now it was weird because I started eating eggs during pregnancy and I started noticing that I was less sensitive to dairy. And that seems to have -

49:58Gary Brecka:Less sensitive to dairy. Well, that's great. Yeah, so I was having more dairy than ever. Like yogurt. and exactly not i don't drink milk and dairy milk um but yeah yogurts and things like that and i wouldn't be so worried about like a sauce or something right um but yeah i've pretty much stayed the same and then supplements wise i'm taking let me think with my brain fog all the things with my brain fog yeah i'll fix that for you after the podcast please i'm so excited to do that test um so methyl folate methyl folate monster huge really good i take um perfect aminos in the morning um it's excellent all nine essential amino acids yeah i have the one that has the electrolytes in it as well yeah yeah um creatine i actually put those together um creatine is a big one i think creatine is huge i actually just launched a creatine here in the UK and all throughout Europe.

50:55Gary Brecka:It's the HCL version so that there's much less bloating. It's more water soluble. Amazing. And then the monohydrate. Some women do fine on monohydrate, but if you don't, and my wife bloats like a puffer fish on that. Oh, that's interesting. But the creatine hydrochloride, the HCL she does excellent with. What is astounding about where the pattern of research is really starting to support creatine, especially for women is in the cognitive side, crossing the blood-brain barrier. Hey guys, let me tell you about one of my favorite new hydration drinks. Now this is for distance athletes, HIITS cardio exercisers, people that sweat a lot or exercise intensely.

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52:12Gary Brecka:Now let's get back to the Ultimate Human podcast. speaking of brain fog i that's what i really notice i feel much sharper taking yes um which is is crazy because some people think it's you know it can mitigate sleep deprivation yeah i i feel really good um back i didn't take creatine when i was pregnant even though i'm sure you probably could but i just didn't um so yeah i feel good back on that and then what else zinc um iron um that's mostly for the hair shedding um i'm glad you brought that up too because that is a yeah strong correlation to yeah female alopecia postpartum it's it's crazy because you have this like luscious thick hair during pregnancy and you're like great that was the one you know like great thing that i love god you know and then it then it just takes it away from you yeah um and then what else am i taking magnesium probiotic did i say that one and i think that's everything yeah that's it you know i think to the you know the mindset towards a lot of this like you said i think a lot of women put so much pressure on themselves to perform and they don't give themselves that grace they don't actually raise their hand when uh they have these bouts of of, of sadness, you know, uh, very often postpartum goes undiagnosed by the female.

53:36Gary Brecka:It's usually the spouse that comes in and finally says, we've got to get you some, some help because you are not yourself. Yeah. Um, could you talk a little bit about the, the male's role? Um, I don't want you to throw your husband under the bus, but, but like, what would you, what advice would you give to young couples, young husbands that are gonna go through this with their spouse for the first time? Because I've got three kids heading this direction. And I had a phenomenal OBGYN on my podcast the other day, and he talked, it was male, and he talked about the importance of pregnancy, getting pregnant, having the baby, and then immediately after caring for the baby, he called it the thousand day pregnancy.

54:26Gary Brecka:And he called it the thousand days because he talked about the preparation phase. You know, men sort of think like their role is over after the wife is pregnant. But the truth is, you know, they're contributing 50 % of the genetic material. Sperm health is just as important as egg health. But we focus mainly on egg health. And, you know, sperm counts are declining at 1 % a year right now. um infertility is rising at two percent a year this is a very dangerous divergence yeah um and you know the uh the male has a has a very significant role in this pregnancy process even though they're not carrying yeah so how did hubby do well he he's amazing i got no complaints so he's and you know what he's really you know everyone says that you you love them more when they become a dad and that is definitely true i mean i loved him a lot already and now it's it's definitely a different type of love yeah a different side of them right yeah exactly but what i think is really amazing is that i'll i because he's very you know he's much older than me he's very kind of he's not used to this new world of mental health anxiety you know that we're now discussing so it's not so normal to him to have these open discussions he didn't he wasn't raised in that way so um is he dutch he's danish i mean yeah yeah so um i you know i was talking to him and again it's like not something he's used to so i was like i'm feeling like this and you know i'm feeling all these lows and i just constantly crying like constantly daily um and he was kind of like taking it in and i thought you know is does he get it he doesn't get this and then it wasn't until when we were sat with his mom and um there was something that was like a comment was made or whatever and he and she wasn't even remotely attacking me just to clarify but he felt that he needed to like stand up for me somehow and he just repeated everything i had been saying that you know like as women you're like are they listening did he actually take any of that in but and then and then he repeated all these things well you know and the estrogen and this happens and you know what women have to go through so much and he just completely like came to my defense and i was like it's so interesting because whilst i've become this like lioness towards the baby he's become this like protector of me and the baby so it's it's it's interesting like the guys don't get enough credit because they are going through a lot as well and you also like the dynamic changes i mean firstly you're you're literally not able to have sex medically for the first six weeks you know so that is quite a change for some people sure so there are so many things that go on that are, you know, a shift in the dynamic and the sleep and everything.

57:30So, and you're both going through that. So I would say for men, just, I think the biggest thing that they can do is to really understand the realness of hormones and the support that the mom needs emotionally, I would say. And he's really, you know, he's been amazing and really surprised me in that sense not to like discredit him before but not to say it was so

57:59Gary Brecka:amazing to hear how like every aspect of life changes you know you change who you are but by choice yeah by by design and by choice it's not like oh i got this baby and i you know gotta gotta put the baby first no like your priority shifts yeah and it's what you choose to do and it happens biophysiologically, which again, it brings me back to this miracle birth. It's like, this can't happen by accident. You know, you're talking about videos of the mother waking up before the child wakes up and is on her way in and the child wakes up. It doesn't surprise me at all. It's just so fascinating to me.

58:35Gary Brecka:And, you know, I know a lot of, you know, young women, there was for years this push for women to be like men and like be entrepreneurs, seize the day sleep is for losers you sleep when you die take the hill you're just as qualified and i don't deny or argue any of those points um but when it comes to pregnancy uh it it really is on on on their shoulders and to watch this like miracle emerge from them to me was really just fascinating like it's a time where you can't go into that kind of like oh yeah like sleep is for losers and like hustle culture you cannot do you can't do that you really can't and it's a fact of life and the more support that you can get the better but to hear that it changes you know hormonally and physiologically so you're like actually i want nothing to do with that this yeah is my priority now exactly it's like god gives you that gift of this shift in priority so you don't have to fight those tendencies do you know what i mean but what is interesting like Like for us, we're like a slightly, I guess, have like a different situation from the norm.

59:47Like I'm working much more than he is working, for example. So he's more available than I am to, as in he's more flexible. Oh, that's cool. Which is really cool. But again, it's so weird to me that there's this narrative of like, I've heard some dads being like, oh, I'm babysitting tonight. It's like, pretty sure you're just parenting.

1:00:09Gary Brecka:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty sure that's just called being a parent. Yeah, I'm on duty. You know when it's like, oh, I'm on dad duty. It's like, imagine a mom saying I'm babysitting or a mom duty. Like that doesn't happen. So we're really 50-50 in this parenting. And it's funny because I feel so lucky because I'm so aware that that's not the norm. But at the same time, you know, why should I be feeling? Like it's a bit of a funny one, isn't it? Yeah, that really is. now that you say it, that's, I probably said that a thousand times. Imagine, imagine like I said, like I'm home with the kids tonight.

1:00:48Gary Brecka:Pretty sure you're just parenting. Okay. Pretty sure you're just existing in your life. How you chose it to be. Did you get hired? Yeah, exactly. Are you getting paid by the hour? I think we sort of feel like we should get a cookie or something. Yeah, exactly. It's like, hey, I was here all night with the kids. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, well done. But it's so funny because he's so not like that. And like he'll talking about, you know, filling yourself, filling your own cup postpartum, like in the mornings, he knows I need to work out. I need to meditate. I need to do my breath work, all those things.

1:01:24So he goes and takes Elle, does her morning feed, like will, you know, look after her as I do. And we're a complete tag team. But he knows, okay, just as much as he needs his time, I need my time. So we tag team. but it was funny. I had one, um, I did a Q and a on Instagram and I've actually been so lucky. I've not really had any kind of like negative comments or anything, but one person really made me laugh. She said, where is Elle during the day?

1:01:54Well, my office is at home. My baby's at home. Gaspers at home. Like I've openly said we have a nanny, you know, as if I sent Elle off to like summer camp or something.

1:02:04Gary Brecka:I don't know. That's a great question. Yeah. But I think it is because we're not used to that, like kind of the, and I get it because typically, you know, historically the men went out to work and, but you know, times are changing guys. So, yeah. So overall, um, and, and then I want to get into the VIP questions because I have a VIP community like you do. And, um, when I told them you were coming back on, I mean, it was the most number of questions we ever had submitted. My team had to just narrow, narrow them down. So I want to get to those questions, but for all of the young soon to be moms out there and, you know, they're, they're in a great relationship.

1:02:47Gary Brecka:They decided, okay, then I'm going to, I want to get pregnant. I want to, you know, the fire stoked. What, if any advice, you know, would you give? And I would love some early stage, you know, parenting advice if you're comfortable doing that. Of course. So I would say just go with what you feel is best for you, your family situation, your partner during pregnancy. Try not to. I know it's really tempting to listen to all the advice, but just really know that you know best right now. And I think that kind of just relieves you in some way. and I also think um there are hard times during pregnancy but there are also amazing times and bonding times and I would say especially if you're a first-time mom and you're able to have that time you know alone and things without other kids running around if you're a first-time mom really try to use it as a time to really go inwards and have that like cozy time with yourself to reflect on who you are as a person and who you want to be going into motherhood and what you want to teach your child and just look forward to it.

1:04:08It's a roller coaster, it's a journey, but it is the most unbelievable thing you will do. And yeah, you'll just, I'm so excited for you. It's amazing.

1:04:20Gary Brecka:You know, I don't give parenting advice other than to say it just gets better and better and You know, my kids, I can truly say this, are my best friends. They are truly my best friends as adults. They're 27, 25, 21, and 17. But they choose to spend time with me and I choose to spend time with them. We're like a traveling comedy show. We work in the same industry together. I'm so empowered by them and inspired by them. and for different reasons. But the one thing that I think we did very well through all three of our kids was we just, we didn't shut our life down. We brought our children into our life.

1:05:08Gary Brecka:We had the bugaboo stroller. We went to restaurants. We went nightclubs. But I mean, we went out to dinner. The kid actually falls asleep in a noisy restaurant. And if they were a little bit late getting to bed, I didn't make it. So you had to come to the house and tiptoe around the house. Like, because I noticed what those kids were like when they were on commercial flights. Like we were all sat next to the babies first time that they've actually heard noise when they're trying to take a nap. Yeah, that's so true. And if I was to give any advice, it would just be just bring your baby and your kids into your life.

1:05:38Gary Brecka:Yeah. Don't come to a full stop and create this sterile environment, hyper regimented environment. Because then the first time that that child is outside of that environment, you know, it's a disaster. Yeah. It's like a meltdown. It's interesting because we've actually got Elle on a big routine. But within that, we're not, you know, we'll be, for example, like where Elle sleeps is right next to our kitchen. We'll have friends over. That's what I mean, yeah. Things like that. I just don't think, I want my baby to be able to sleep anywhere, anytime. And, you know, I think things like that are so important.

1:06:16but the routine that we have her on, what I will say, and it's not advice because I still think you should just do whatever you feel is best, co-sleeping, whatever that is. But for me, the routine has helped me then have my routine and my freedom. Her being on a routine has given her structure in her day, but also me structure in my day and knowing when I have time for work as well. So, yeah.

1:06:44Gary Brecka:So, well, guys, as I wind down all of my podcasts, I ask all my guests the same question. I asked it to you the last time you were on the podcast, if you remember. But before we head into the VIP community, what does it mean to you to be an ultimate human? Well, now as a mom, I think being the ultimate human is really about being truly proud of myself and looking at myself through my daughter's eyes. Like, would she be proud of me? And passing that on and kind of giving everything that I am to her. And yeah, I think that would make me in this phase of my life, the ultimate human. Amazing how that's changed in just a few short months.

1:07:38Exactly, yeah. Thank you so much for having me.

1:07:41Gary Brecka:You're so welcome. Thank you for coming on. And until next time, guys, that's just science.