Raised by the Internet? A Movember Conversation About Boys

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0:55Elliott:While supplies last, ends June 30th. Terms at aka.ms slash college PC. This episode is supported by Movember, the leading charity changing the face of men's health.

1:12Welcome back to To Be A Boy podcast with me, Elliot Ray. Me, Jolie Braley. So we talk a lot about boys, but not enough with boys. But today we are delighted to bring you a real life young man in the flesh. Ricardo Barcello is 19. He studies at the University of Exeter and is part of the Movember Youth Advisory Board. We're going to be talking about body image pressure, the manosphere, dating, the political divide between young men and young women and everything in between. So listen for an understanding of what it means to be a young man today. And if you're a parent, carer or someone who cares about young people, find out how you can help.

1:53So Ricardo, you're in sunny Spain. Lovely. I am indeed. Enjoying the weather. Lovely. So paint a picture of your life at the moment. Where did you grow up? What are you studying? Who's in your family? And what do you like to do in your spare time? Well, I grew up in Buckinghamshire. I was there since I was seven years old. I've got two wonderful parents, which I'm very proud of. They've supported me throughout my life. As you mentioned, I'm at the University of Exeter studying politics and international relations. And I love traveling, playing football, everything that a 19-year-old normally likes to do.

2:25And you're an Arsenal fan. Congratulations. I'm an Arsenal fan. Thank you. We didn't win the Champions League, but we're happy with the Premier League. And we'll go for the Champions League next season. I was at the parade. It was like one massive carnival. I heard there was about a million people. It was massive. I've never seen London like that. Like a sea of red. Just people. It was like history in the making. It was incredible. So Riccardo, growing up, your stepdad, your stepdad is blind. Yeah. Talk to us about what it was like growing up with your stepdad who went through and is going through those challenges.

2:58How has that shaped your life in regards to how you see the world, how you think about empathy, how you see different people from different backgrounds treated? Well, he wasn't originally blind, but I've known him since he's been blind. And I think it's taught me a lot about perseverance because it's very hard to go from not being blind to being blind and having to adapt and live in a world which is nothing. You can't see anything. So I think a lot of the times when we see these influencers talk about the need to have all of this money and stuff, when you go through those hard times, as he has done, you see that that is not the important thing.

3:35And the more important thing to persevere through really difficult times is having that family around you, having close friends and having people to support you. So I think it's been a very important thing in my life to have someone so close to me go through those times because it's taught me a lot about how to navigate through life and really what is important to live a happy life. Do you think it's shaped the kind of young man you are today? Yeah, definitely. I think you're more empathetic. You see the challenges. And sometimes when someone is going through a hard time, you learn what it means.

4:10And I think it makes you a more caring person. And it's really an important step to take and try and help people as much as you can. Yeah, the things that you'd have to help him with in terms of getting around when you're out shopping in the house, what did that look like on a day-to-day basis for you? I mean, I've always tried to help around the house, go shopping, walk the dogs and help with small things, working on writing emails and everything that he needed. But I was very lucky that he, at the same time as I've taken care of him in some ways, he's also taken care of me. And because I've been with him since I've been seven years old, the mental development that he's helped me through has been as much help to me or even more than I've helped him so I think he's done me a much bigger favor than I could ever do to him.

5:02Elliott:Do you think there's something you know about children, young people caring for somebody else, having a role of care and the impact that has on who you become and how you view the world because we've talked previously with Kada to a guy who runs a charity where he pairs up teenagers younger teenagers than you with children who are like four or five in a caring mode so the teenagers that are sort of 13 14 are really troubled often teenagers that are having a really difficult time in the world and them having this responsibility of caring for somebody else completely transforms their life and transforms the way they view the world and transforms the way they behave.

5:45Elliott:Now, do you think there's something there about everybody needs to have a responsibility from quite a young age? And not that you were responsible for your stepdad, but to some degree, you probably did feel a sense of responsibility because you could see very clearly that he was having a challenge, you know, things were challenging for him and you could support with that. I don't know. I just find it fascinating that it does seem to transform people's lives if they have these responsibilities, caring responsibilities. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I agree 100%. So, Ricarda, you're 19. You're in the middle of this generation that everyone's talking about.

6:22Everyone's very interested in you. Very interested in you. And we've spoken to so many people about the pressures, challenges that young boys and young men like you were facing. We want to hear from you. What do you think you and your friends and your generation of young men, what are the challenges, the main pressures that you are feeling right now? I mean, the main thing that everyone talks about is social media, which obviously is something that we've always grown up with. And it's something that shapes our lives. And it's kind of all we've known. We haven't lived in a, at a time where we haven't had Instagram or TikTok.

6:56talk. But so social media has had a big impact on mobile phones. And the dependency on social media is something that challenges our generation. I think now you see so many videos on social media of the manosphere. And as was highlighted by the Louis Theroux documentary, and that's obviously had a massive impact. It's changed how we expect society to behave, how we expect us to develop what we think is important in our lives and I think that's something which obviously has harmed our generation yeah and I reflect all the time I'm 43 and I'm just so I'm so glad I didn't have social media when I was younger you know because life was so simple and I didn't really know or care what anyone else is doing whereas I guess you've always grown up with lots of information and lots of insight into everyone else how do you think that that immediacy of information and content has shaped like your brain and your thoughts not just you but your generation in regards to like maybe comparison or aspiration or just just your mental health in general do you do you think it has a big impact well i think now everyone kind of expects instant gratification you've got everything uh all of the time you can search something and it comes up straight away And in some ways with relationships, you're in closer because you can contact anybody immediately.

8:21You touch two buttons and you can speak to anyone. But at the same time, you're further away because you don't have that connection face to face sometimes. So the Louis Fru documentary, did you watch it? I did indeed. I've watched it twice. Two of my housemates wanted to watch it. So I watched it with Maddie first and then Poppy and Maddie. we had a little watch party it was a very interesting documentary cool shout out to them if they're listening so what did you think of it because i thought it was very interesting i learned i learned a lot you know as someone who as a parent adult who thinks i'm quite up to speed with this stuff actually i learned a lot about some new characters and their motivations and the content and you know even though it wasn't perfect it was very insightful and brought those issues to the forefront especially for people who don't listen to this podcast all the time and do this work and read the research.

9:11But for someone like you who is of the age that these manosphere influences are targeting, what did you think about the documentary? Do you think it was a true reflection of what you see online and the impact it's having in society? I mean, I've heard of all of these people before. You come across them on TikTok and Instagram Reels sometimes, and I haven't really engaged with them because I thought, what's the point? They're not teaching me something important and I think in some ways it's very harmful but you do come across it and I think the documentary does have a lot of authenticity it does really show what these characters are like and the interviews when Louis Theroux is talking to HS for example really show um the mentality behind that space let's talk about the misogyny in that documentary obviously HS and all those very misogynistic men and we hear so much around the rise of misogyny in schools and teachers complaining like female women teachers complaining that young men have told them to go and get a sandwich get them a sandwich before they mark their homework and all this sort of stuff that we're hearing like do you feel like you see that do you see the misogyny in your university within your in your world maybe not in your friendship group directly but in your in your generation and people around you do you feel like you see those misogynistic attitudes on display well i think i've been very lucky because i haven't really associated myself with people that have that sort of mentality there may have been a comment or two by people in in a class or whether when i was in secondary school but at university i haven't really heard that kind of thing but also i think it's something which most probably happens with younger people than me because i was kind of growing up with at a time where andrew tate was more popular but now that you've got all of these influences i think it's definitely changed a bit and maybe in a secondary school and year eight, year nine, I think maybe those comments are more prominent.

11:08But I've been very lucky that at university and in secondary school, I didn't really hear that kind of stuff.

11:14Elliott:That's interesting. I would have thought that you would have said that you saw it a lot more than you have. Definitely in secondary school. At university, I think everyone's kind of just more focused on themselves and there isn't really any space for those kind of comments as much. But in secondary school definitely I think it's important to obviously call it out when it does happen and there's no point being with people that say that kind of stuff so let's talk about that younger generation then so are you worried about 12 13 year olds now young boys that are seeing the manosphere content are you concerned that they are going to grow up as misogynistic young men they're going to harm themselves and other people in the process too like what do you see in regards to that younger generation how do you feel about that definitely I just don't know where the world is going in regards to that because as I've said I was very fortunate that I had parents that supported me they told me what was right or wrong but with young people going on social media more and seeing that kind of content I don't know how they're going to manage and whether they're going to keep those thoughts when they're younger so I just don't know how that's going to translate to when they're maybe 20 or 25 because if it does happen when they're that age then it's going to be really something harmful and something very dangerous so it does worry me and I just hope that there's a point where those young people that watch that kind of content that shouldn't watch the content that is out on any platform because even though some of those influences are blocked and whatever it's the content still goes through and it's still very easy to watch so you said you saw the content when you were younger but you had your parents that you could speak to.

12:59Yeah. Do you think that is the key? Is it, you know, for the parents listening, is the antidote, the older father, mother figures, having those open conversations with the young people? Is that what stopped you getting into the manosphere further? And is that what you feel like is the solution here? Definitely. I think they were key parts, but also I had great friends growing up who I had a great relationship with and we always were able to talk and we were always able to discuss things. So I think it's a lot of different things. Parents are part of the solution, but it's not the only part. I think you also have to have friends that have a good influence on you.

13:35You have to be in an environment where you are confident growing up, you are happy. And when you put all of those things together, I think it prevents you from going into that kind of content. But if you have an insecurity caused by that content, it just makes you go further into that realm of things. And that's where it can really get dangerous. So I just think it's important to foster a good environment and have good people around you. Yeah. And what do you think about a social media ban? Do you think it would work? We had a debate on here and I've kind of flicked between the two. Like I was very much like ban social media, get rid of it.

14:12And then we're speaking to other people who were saying, well, that wouldn't solve the problem. You can use VPNs. It wouldn't be the solution. It might bring up a false sense of security. And so I don't know what I think anymore. I'm undecided. What do you think? Do you think a social media ban would help? I just don't think it would be enforceable because there will always be a way around it. There definitely should be a way to restrict that kind of content for young people. And I know they were talking about restricting it for 16 year olds, but I just don't know how they would be able to stop them accessing the content.

14:46So if they could remove that content from those platforms, that would be the best thing. But it's not going to happen because there's always a way around it. So I honestly don't know either, but hopefully something gets done.

15:00Elliott:Yeah, they've not been able to manage it in Australia, have they? It hasn't worked. There's still sort of 70 % of kids are still accessing social media through VPNs. Yeah. And so I think what you're talking about, Eric, in regards to the relationship that you had you know with your parents i think that is such a protective layer and i think the people that listen to this podcast are very progressive and doing the right thing and having the conversations and trying i guess it's the people outside that aren't necessarily aware of the dangers of some parts of the internet or some of the parents who just have so much on they haven't necessarily got the mental space to even prioritize this conversation so there's young people that are kind of running riot without any any accountability any parental control whatsoever.

15:43I see it with my eldest is 10. She has kids in her school who have social media. They had it since year two and there's no restriction on their phone whatsoever. And it's crazy. It's absolutely crazy. So after this podcast, I'm going to the gym. I'm getting back into my gym. I fell off for about three weeks. I was sick and then I had really busy times of work and I was traveling, but I'm back on it. I'm back at the gym. Congratulations. Thank you. And I say that not just to let everyone know I'm going to the gym because you probably don't care everyone here and listeners but it is relevant to my question because I go to the gym and I see young people younger than you 15 14 year old doing bench press doing squats and I'm like why are you here why are you here young boy you're 14 years old why are you at the gym but I also understand that there is a lot of pressure now on young men to look a certain way to be buff to have muscles to be seen as a protector and you know I think a lot of value is placed on how you look and how big your muscles are and how broad your shoulders are is that just me going crazy or is that isn't a real thing do you feel personally do you feel a pressure to to look a certain way and have a certain body type well yeah there's inherently the gym's not a bad thing it's not of course bad to to be fit and try and look good to a certain extent but i think as i mentioned before these influences place a certain mentality and place certain focuses on those young people and they try to replicate it so they're going to the gym for the wrong reasons they're going to the gym to try and appeal to the influencers in a certain sense so I think at 14 years old there's no need to really go to the gym you can play football you can play your sports you can go running and there's no point you know go in but you need to do it for the right reasons and do it for yourself mainly you don't need to do it because someone has told you to do it and you want to appeal to them if they're going five times a day because they think they have to grow loads of muscles because otherwise they're worthless then obviously

17:42Elliott:that's a very bad thing to think my 12 year old goes to the gym with me because i don't know what to do with him otherwise and but he seems to know what he's doing like he's like right today i'm to do arms all right and off he goes doing his arms but he and he plays loads of sport like he's very into his rugby and we really encourage that because I think it's really good for him to be in to sport both my kids are really into sport but he also like and he doesn't sort of work out and then it's like you know he's not checking himself out afterwards I don't feel like he's doing it because he wants to look a certain way however he did recently say to me that he wanted me to buy him some eye cream because he felt he had under eye bags and I was really shocked that he said that at 12 years old and a boy like the pressure on girls has existed for a very long time and so you expect it more from girls to think about the way they look but from a 12 year old boy it caught me off guard a bit and I said to him you don't need eye cream you need more sleep and less sweets yeah go go to bed basically go to bed on time yeah I was like I'm 47 and I don't use eye cream because I know it's nonsense so no I will not be buying you eye cream which he was quite upset about he also wanted to cleanse a moisturizer so I did actually get him a face wash and some moisturizer but that's a new thing that feels like very much a new thing have you seen Ricardo that there is a pressure not just on like muscles and fitness for boys that has I mean that's always existed to an extent but it's gone in overdrive now but also on having a skincare routine and making sure I mean we know about lux maxing you know the exercising your jaw so your jaw goes all chiseled and you look completely insane but all these new pressures on boys to not only be muscular but your face shape to look a certain way do you see that amongst your friendship i mean to that extent not as much i have seen things on social media about people taking peptides and all sorts of chemicals which have haven't been tested and they've come out of some random lab and they think it's a good idea to inject themselves with it but to that extent no and amongst my friend group it's not something which i've seen and i'd be very concerned if someone did start going into the realm of you know all of the looks maxing and that kind of thing but maybe amongst younger people those 12 13 year olds it could definitely be a possibility that's happening jody if you do get some of that under eye cream can you post some to me as well please i feel like i need that in my life i've actually considered just moisture put a bit of moisturizer on my skincare routine is like hot water and cold water that's all i've used for last 40 years and it's done okay but I feel like recently I actually said to my wife I might start wearing makeup and she looked at me like I was crazy but I did a shoot the other day I presented a campaign and they put makeup on me and I actually loved the way I look on camera I was like I look really really good if I could look at this every day that would be great so if you see me to be aware podcast next episode of makeup on don't say anything okay just let me live my life we're very interesting.

21:06Ricardo, let's talk about friendship. So I spoke to some young boys the other day. They were 17. I was giving them flowers, more about that later, but we were giving them flowers out on the street and I was talking to them about friendship and they were saying they talk openly with each other about their challenges and I said to them, is that normal for their generation? They said no, like there's still the pressure to be nonchalant and, you know, pretend you don't care but they personally did have really close conversations and they were really open with each other and I just loved that they were talking about that with me on the street, completely random.

21:33It was really, really good. Do you have like open conversations with your friends if you're going through challenges in life, whatever it is, do you feel like you can talk to your friends about what's going on in your life? Yeah, definitely. And I think that's what's helped me through times where maybe I've struggled. I mean, I've got a great friend called Luke, who I've known since year seven or year eight. And we used to go on walks, go cycling. And I has the best time because he can tell me his worries and I can tell him his and we've got complete kind of trust and I think I've got that with certain people and that always helps so it's not the whole thing about being nonchalant and not giving your your worries out to your friends I think is a load of rubbish because as humans we have to it's really important to talk and talking helps us go through tough times and I don't think our generation is different to other generations in that respect.

22:27And it's not something that social media can replace. We need that human interaction. And more than a call, it's always important to meet face-to-face. And I think that's something which I've definitely been very grateful for. And I've been very grateful to have those friends that are able to have those conversations with me. And I trust when I have a difficult moment. That's so important what you said there, you know, face-to-face can't, it can't be replaced with social media. So what you said there, do you think that's normal though for your generation? No, no, no, no. No, I think, no, no. For a lot of young people, it's still something which is very hard to talk about.

23:03And it's kind of stigmatized in a way it shouldn't be. And I don't understand why it is, because we all have feelings. There's no point hiding those feelings. But maybe some people might say it makes you look weak or other things, but it is something important. So it's a shame that it's not something which happens with all young people and it's not something that people feel that they're able to talk about. But I think we need to go in that direction and start speaking about our feelings with those that we trust most. Lovely. Can we talk to you about dating? Yeah. I feel like I had to get your permission before we go into this, right?

23:44Could potentially be sensitive. But let's talk about dating. I find it fascinating looking at how dating has changed over the years. And there's a really good documentary on YouTube by The Guardian. And they talk about Gen Z and just the fact that so many more young people just aren't dating, aren't being intimate and aren't approaching women when women aren't approaching men. And a lot of young men and a lot of young women have just said, you know what? Dating is just a distraction at the moment and I can't be bothered. men not liking women women not liking men and just deciding they're going to kind of do their own thing have their friendship groups do their career and see what happens in the future whereas for my generation the dating was a was one of the main reasons we were alive like it was one of the main things that we did right it was a big kind of part of our life and i just don't see that reflected so much in gen z um is that true like is that narrative correct like what's your experiences with yourself and your friendship groups in terms of is dating a priority for you I think people as a general thing people are more worried as you said about doing their own thing and worrying about what they're going to do next there are so many more pressures that this generation has that maybe weren't the case before you've got you know things are a lot more expensive people trying to get onto the housing ladder which is almost impossible I don't want to talk about social media as being the problem for everything even though it does have an effect on a lot of things but also having that device having that mobile phone all of the time means that you don't really think about meeting people face to face because you've got all of these dating apps and it's a lot easier than meeting people face to face I think that's also a problem because you

25:34Elliott:don't have that interaction yeah dating's hard right it's uncomfortable it's awkward it's messy it's difficult whereas you can hide behind a screen and you know you don't have to face all of that but it teaches you so much about yourself and how to engage and communicate and going through that quite traumatic I've had some really traumatic dates oh but going through you know that messiness you come out the other side don't you learn so much frank's health but i think you're right there in terms of like like when we were younger if i was out say for example i'm out at a bar or wherever i am and you see a young lady who you like a young lady i sound like i'm in like bridgerton right now oh what's happened to me i used to be so cool okay see a young lady that you like you know and you knew if you don't approach her now you're never gonna see her again right so this is your one opportunity so you have to then go and like hey introduce yourself and whatever whereas now okay cool there's there's a million literally millions of people on the internet that probably just look the same or whatever that you have potential to communicate with and i think partly that is is why there's not that kind of need anymore i guess you don't need to necessarily put yourself out there you don't need to be in a difficult situation and maybe get rejected and be awkward and potentially be embarrassed you don't need to because you can go online but you know as you said jolie i guess it can be a character building experience to put yourself out there and and whatnot but ricardo do you do you think it's an issue is it is it an issue that that dating is and and trying to meet someone is not a priority anymore do you or do you just think that's just the way we're going in life and things will happen when they're going to happen and it just is what it is yeah i mean there needs to be that interaction at some point because if you don't interact as you said in person then you're never going to go you're never going to get out of that fear and in some ways it's going to be very difficult in the future so I think there shouldn't be a pressure on just trying to date when you know that you're focused on other things and it's not something which you want to really look at but I think there does need to be an emphasis on meeting people in person when the time is right instead of just going on your phone and thinking that's the solution to the problem do you think it's harder though with things like social media and phones and whatsapp where you could approach a girl tell her that you like her and then she can completely humiliate you on social media and on whatsapp she can say things like she can say tell everybody what happened you know make and exaggerate the story and make you look really stupid or you go out on a date with a girl and you think maybe she just want me to kiss her for example and you go in for a kiss and she's like whoa no and then completely embarrasses you and humiliates you in front of everybody do you think that plays on the minds of boys yeah but also if you're speaking to someone online they can always screenshot it and put it up wherever they want to so you've got both both things if you meet someone in person or you meet or you're speaking to someone online there's always something which might not go your way and it might be something which embarrasses you and stays on the internet for a long time.

28:56So it's something that didn't happen before. It's not something that people really had to worry about before. But there's always going to be that element.

29:05Elliott:Why do you think there's such a division between girls and boys? Do you think, because there is this growing divide and younger people are having less sex than we did. Actually, young people are masturbating less than we did. Self-reported rates and masturbation have decreased. Why do you think there are fewer relationships? Well, it's a hard question. Social media definitely plays a part. I think people isolate themselves more than before. And if you don't speak to, if you don't even have the capacity to speak to your friends because you're more interested on instant gratification and going on your phone, then you aren't going to look at things further.

29:44So it's a hard question, but it seems like the divide between boys and girls is becoming bigger and bigger. And the thoughts of boys about girls at a younger age is definitely changing in a way which is not good.

29:59Elliott:Which mean better? I just think people have more harmful opinions and those opinions aren't right. And it's just becoming more extreme and more misogynistic in a lot of ways. Yeah, I mean, I sense that as an older woman as well. I'm more wary of men than I have ever have been now because I see all the stuff that they're seeing online and because you know I'm constantly sort of fighting the good fight and seeing how bad it's really got in terms of you know your average people and the misogyny and the sexism that is just rampant I am more wary of men now than I have ever been before I go out and I see men on the street and I'm more wary of strangers than I ever have been not just because of misogyny but also because the rise of the far right and you see somebody in the street I don't I don't know what you're thinking I don't know how what sort of person you are anymore there's just more division than there ever has been and you know I'm more wary about starting a conversation with the taxi driver and we may end up having very different views and this could get very very difficult this whole time and I'm stuck in a taxi with you whereas I never felt like that before I was watching Nigel Farage you see his address to the nation yesterday and me and Sennany were watching and my wife I think for the first time in years I was like shit this is gonna be a this is a problem now because the way he was talking he said he wants people to respond with rage am I getting that right he wants rage in response to what's happened with that young man and I thought you know what we're fucked like seriously and there's so many black people I know who are looking to move country because if reform get in and something like what happened to Henry Norwalk, if something like that happens when reform are in power, the way they're going to stoke division, it's not something we can ignore.

31:52This is getting very, very serious. And I watched that address yesterday and I would say for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely concerned and a bit scared about where we're going. It's very worrying. But Ricardo, we're going to come to an end soon, but I've got a couple more questions for you i want to talk to you about careers there's massive view for unemployment right now obviously ai is all fun and games where we're making little memes and stuff like that um i put my wife in an arsenal shirt she hates arsenal but i put her in an arsenal shirt for the parade and she was like so annoyed so it's all fun and games right who did she support man united so she was fuming she was like delete that delete that picture literally she was trying to fight me for my phone she was not happy but um it's all fun and games until it takes our jobs yeah and they were like actually this isn't fun anymore what's your feelings about the future in terms of careers and ai and just just the ability to make money and you know afford a house and all that sort of stuff how are you feeling about that well i saw a statistic about how there were a million young people that weren't in education or employment and i don't think that's particularly because young people are lazy or because they don't want jobs or they want don't want to uh be in education.

33:04People are ambitious and I don't think that's different in our generation. But AI is challenging what jobs are going to stay and what jobs won't be needed. So there really is so much uncertainty with what is going to happen in the future. And I've been very lucky that I've kind of had a plan since quite a long time ago and I know what I want to get into. But for a lot of young people, they just don't know whether, even if they go to university, which now looks even less appealing because of tuition fees and all of the other costs associated with it, whether it's going to even make a difference and whether they're going to be able to get a job after.

33:46Because there are so many people that have applied to hundreds and hundreds of jobs and they haven't heard from one of them. So it's a sad reality. And it's not something which has been, in my opinion looked at enough and there needs to be more done to make sure that young people are supported and that they can get stable jobs that lead to them having a good career. And is it having impact on on the people around you friendship and just wider do you think it's impacting like well-being to health just aspiration just happiness in general as well? Yeah I think careers are obviously linked to to your future you want to provide you want to have a family and you want to be able to have a stable income but if you have no idea where your career is going to go or if you even have any job opportunities then it creates so much uncertainty and it's not something which you can really fix because you can apply for more jobs but as so many people have applied and applied and applied and they've had no responses.

34:51For many, I think it's just a constant cycle which has no solution. So there needs to be more stable employment and it's not a reality right now. There's a lot to deal with, right? Like, you know, I guess as a 19 year old young man right now, life is complicated, but you're thoughtful and you're clearly on a great path. It's amazing that you've got great friendships that you speak to, great parents. You're involved with the Movember Youth Advisory Board in Spain right now, you know, living it up with the swim pool. So it seems like you've got a good head on your shoulders and I'm very confident you're going to do like so well in life.

35:27And I think you've spoken so well about the challenges that young men and women are facing right now. What would you say to parents? We get a lot of parents listening. They have sons your age, younger. What do you think they should know about what it means to be 19 right now and what would your advice be to them to help their young boys grow up and maybe be a bit like you? I would say understand that young people have a lot of pressures and pressures which maybe they didn't have growing up. It's a hard world to live in but it's a world that has got a future with young people and I think that we can overcome the challenges.

36:03It just needs a lot of work and we can use those challenges to benefit us and become stronger in the future. I would just tell them to support your children make sure they feel confident, they feel like they can trust in you, they've got good friendships and I think once you have that in place all of the other things should come together and just do the best that you can to help them and understand the dangers that things on social media might cause for them and identify, be able to identify if maybe they're going into that realm of things and how to make them understand that it's not the best place to