#2890 RHOM S7E1: It’s Hard Out Here For a Pippin Live in Seattle

0:00Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance, and some pay as little as$0, depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments.

0:37You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV.

1:27Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible.

1:38Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes. Like, enrich yourself. New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC.

2:12Ben Mandelker: What happens when there's so much that happens?

2:18Ben Mandelker: Oh, Seattle time! Hello, Seattle!

2:29Oh my God, thank you guys!

2:34Ben Mandelker: Oh my God. Thank you so much, Seattle! Thank you!

2:43Ben Mandelker: If this is your first time coming to a Seattle show, did we sell it short? I don't think so. The Seattle crowd goes off. That feels amazing. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. I know. So good to be here. We're staying like two blocks away from the ice protests. Yeah. Let me tell you, there's nothing like coming to a show after you've put a brick through a cop car. god damn i feel good yeah we are here today recording on the eve of world war three so welcome we're handling it pretty well yeah you know in the in the movies and tv shows and stuff i watch all the walking deads i watch all the zombie shit you know i love that i think we're so just used to seeing the end of the world that by the time it's here we're just like where are we going tonight we're literally walking through the protest like hey where do you want to have dinner I actually love that we're recapping the real house of Miami because like yeah because you know that somewhere with all the shit going on Alexa's like oh well you know what happened to me today it was actually they're calling in the marines the city's on fire oh well you know Peter Oh, his Instagram was frozen, so it's a big day.

4:11Yeah, I think everybody's doing really well. I was on the plane today coming here, and it was a local, you know, the flight attendants or whatever were local. You guys are cheering motherfuckers in Seattle. Because you guys, it's like rainy here, you know, so I always think it's going to be gloomy. It's never gloomy here. This was the stewardess. She was like, elbows, knees, elbows, knees, and hips. Elbows, knees, and hips. I was like, is she selling something? Like, what is she doing to keep your shit out of the aisle? She woke me up three times doing that. Elbows, knees, and hips.

4:50Ben Mandelker: You know, my favorite thing in the world is when flight attendants have that cart as time to serve the cocktails, and they just go ramming up that aisle, and they hit everyone's elbows because, you know, that's like their moment when they can express themselves. they have to be polite to all of us disgusting people but like in that moment when they've got the cart they're like my revenge will be quick and sweet they're fat shaming asses that's what they're doing even if they're the fatter ones even if they're fatter than you they'll hit you with that cart harder well I have to say I mean the world is like crazy right now but it is great to be here in Seattle because it is pride this month

5:30yeah

5:31Ben Mandelker: And this is, as I always mentioned, this is the city where I came out of the closet.

5:38I always forget that when we come here. Isn't that funny? Yeah. And today you're here with your boyfriend, your lover, your life partner. He's here today.

5:47Ben Mandelker: He is here. We love him. Yeah. Little Dom bride. With both my husbands. Remember back in the day when gays didn't have kids that much? Today there were some gays on the plane with kids And I was like, us too Yeah, the worst We're like, happy bride Ugh, aren't we the worst? We are the worst Okay, this is the gay kid I mean, the kid wasn't gay The kid of the gay I mean, I don't know if he's gay You do you You're too young, we'll talk later But this is the gay child on the plane in front of me

6:30that's how he was on his seat the whole time i was like the gay kid is raving you've got a gay child and he's raving on the plane calm your gay child down gay parents everyone needs back to straight kids what happened to those everyone needs to calm down because i

6:45Ben Mandelker: know it's pride but people need to calm down because we were in um lax yesterday coming up here and um we saw an influencer in the wild and this guy he's known for having a big butt and so he was walking through lax with like booty shorts on tight booty shorts that exposed like his whole crack and i was like sir we're in an airport and i know it's lax but you need to calm down okay you're getting a little too lax sir okay put on some pants donkey It was too much. So anyway. I'm never going to complain about a big old booty because I flew through Burbank. And I know you guys aren't LA locals, but LAX is like the big fancy airport.

7:29And Burbank is like the shitty little one in the valley. You know? LAX, you hear them fighting in the parking lot from the place that you're sitting waiting for the plane. Some guy was thrown up against the door.

7:40Ben Mandelker: He's like, I love you. I love you. It's like, yeah, Burbank. LAX is like the sir. and Burbank Airport is Jax's.

7:55We called the Burbank Airport Brits tonight!

7:59Ben Mandelker: Oh,

8:03Ben Mandelker: no. Seriously, the world is really fucked up. Oh, wait, guys. Guys, Jax is doing great. He's like, really? He's learned so many things and I know it's a silver lining on a crazy daylight today. I can see you right now. I can see you talking right fucking now.

8:27Ben Mandelker: We should have known this would be a terrible week. I mean, as soon as Paige quit Summer House, we knew it was going to be downhill.

8:36Sad. She's fine. She's on a commercial. I saw her the other day on some commercial. I think it's for hair. What is it for? Tresemme. It is for hair. I'm good. I couldn't remember if it was for that or the Dunkin' Donuts drink that she's got. Tresemme. Now she does her podcast. She's got like a big thing that looks like nuclear waste sitting next to her. It's like bright pink. Well, it's nuclear waste. I guess that's green. It's like neon pink. It's like, okay, anyway, Hannah, so I can have this. You do not drink that. You do not drink a whole gallon of calories sitting at your desk, Paige. But I believe that Tresemme won, though, because she was walking down the street like this.

9:13She's like, I have hair. I have hair. and then another girl passed her and she's like, oh my god, you have hair. She's like, yeah, girl.

9:21Ben Mandelker: I actually saw a really weird tie-in. I saw Carl promoting something called Tres Softe.

9:32Ben Mandelker: It's when you want your hair to be just a little softer. It's a 24-step process. Do it one step at a time. Baby steps. Get a little bit softer. A little bit softer now A little bit softer now A little bit softer now A little bit softer now It only just keeps getting softer Just everyone lies down at the end of the song A little bit softer now

10:01What song is that?

10:03Ben Mandelker: Shout It's called Lindsay It's called I Pray for Lindsay A little bit softer now A little bit softer now Oh, a little bit soft. Oh, oh my God. That's too hard. That's too hard. Be gentle. Please stop shouting at me. Be gentle. Softer. Tender. Tender voices only. Thank you.

10:30All right. So this is the beginning of the season of The Real Housewives. Yes.

10:37Ben Mandelker: Welcome to Watch for Crap. It's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. we just love to talk about.

10:47So exciting to be doing... We have not done a lot of Real Housewives of Miami episodes. One, because it's always on a weird day. It's usually on, like, Friday. You know, it doesn't work for our schedule. And also because a couple of times we've done it and people look at us like... They're like, are we allowed to laugh? This is problematic. So for those of you new to the show, we're kind of problematic, but only in the way that we're trying to actually sound like these ladies, okay? We're not trying to, if we sound like we're doing a Speedy Gonzales, it's not on purpose. Yeah.

11:21Ben Mandelker: We're just attempting to, we're attempting to sound like the specific person. Yeah. Like we call each other and we're like, Ben, does this sound real or no? We go over our Spanish phrases. We do the work, okay? So if it's problematic, just know a lot of work went into this problem. Yes. We're trying to solve it.

11:48But we mean no offense in that way. Okay, now that that's out of the way. And also, we really love Gail, and we're really sorry that we make bad and make mean jokes about Gail.

11:58Ben Mandelker: We love Gail Simmons. Why are you so mean to Gail? No matter how many times we say we're sorry, we don't mean to be mean to Gail, will get like, how dare you? Shannon Bedore is like, I listen to your podcast. Did you mean to be so mean to that unfamous woman? How dare you? Okay. Previously on The Real Housewives of the Channel.

12:29Okay.

12:30Ben Mandelker: Wedding vow time for Alexia. Ahem, ahem. Dear Anthony Insurance Lawyer, I am sorry for maligning your career. You're a very good lawyer. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Todd, wedding vows. Wedding vows. Oh, I apologize. Hold on. Wrong paper. Wrong paper. Hold on. Blink in Spanish. Blink in Spanish. Blink in Spanish. Alexia, I, Todd, vow to marry you in sickness and in health and in rent because buying property just doesn't make financial sense. You can see by watching my Instagrams. He's a businessman. I am. I am. Dios mío, I'll drink to that. I'll drink to that. Todd, I vow to never leave you as long as you stay rich.

13:29And our nice two, Frankie and Peter, because they're both angels. And if Peter is ever accused of anything like beating up a homeless person to get views on his TikTok. Oh, well, you know, Peter, people are jealous.

13:43Ben Mandelker: Here's to never letting anything come between us except for my finances. Oh, really? because I heard that Thaw wants to leave Alexia. I heard it in the lobby of the building about Thaw was leaving the party. We haven't even finished our vows, Adriana. Alexia, you literally came right between us. Let us finish the ceremony. I only want you two to be happy, bitch. Hag. I hate her so much. you're like not the only happy one Alexia I found the love of my life with Michael Jordan's son he used to like play with my kids in the back like yard like we have like a podcast listen okay hi welcome to our pod okay Marcus Marcus you're supposed to start Hey, you start You start, okay?

14:50Start over again Hey, everyone You want to start? You should start I didn't mean to, I just jumped in This is really good

15:00Ben Mandelker: I'm Marcus I love you so much You're so good at this One time I fucked Marcus In a car park, do you remember that? Yeah I thought it was a park that cars go to It was funny Yeah, we thought it was a Chick-fil-A, but it was actually just a public access parking lot. That was so funny. Start over. Okay. I am so bored with my life. I want to have baby with Odd Lady now.

15:34Ben Mandelker: I don't want a baby, honey. Find a hobby. Oh, okay. I will find a hobby. I take singing class.

15:47Ben Mandelker: Okay, my ears. Okay, God. Okay, we'll have a baby. We'll have a baby. Oh, there's a baby goal. I'll drink tonight. Baby. I love babies. I'll drink a baby. I don't care. Gertie-like, you're like a stupid bitch-like. I can't even, like, do it anymore-like. Larsa, I don't want to fight with you anymore. So I'm going to tell you a secret. You cannot tell anybody. I have cancer. Oh my God, I'm a cancer too. Why are we fighting like? Not the astrological, Larsa. I have cancer. Oh my God, I won't tell anyone at all. You guys, Gertie has cancer like. You guys, as the only doctor in the group, is cancer like a form of cancer?

16:43Or...

16:45Ben Mandelker: No, it's like cancer-like. Now you're calling my cancer basic, you bitch. You bitch. Oh, well, you know, by the way, we haven't checked in on Lisa yet. So Lisa, what's going on? Lenny! Lenny! Okay, okay, this is very nice, but like Lenny left you last year, so you have to get a new storyline. Okay, I'm telling you as a friend, and not just as a friend, but as a star. Okay, all right. All right, new storyline. New stories. I lost my lipstick on a boat. I lost my lipstick. Oh, pero si, gotos. I'll drink that. And scene. And scene.

17:34Right now in the world, I don't think anybody knows what's happening with Housewives. I think we're worried, you know? I hear noise in the world. I hear talk of war. You're like, news, news, crying, you know, explosions, people bleeding. And I'm like, but what's happening with Housewives? Are we okay? Because, you know, we have great seasons like Salt Lake City. And then we have good seasons. Like Orange County had a really good season. Then we're excited for Atlanta to come back. We're like, Atlanta's going to kill it. Now we're like, please, what's happening? What's happening? But then we get Miami.

18:10Miami is so good. It looks like a coloring book. It's like high definition. Tears, boobs, outfits, like the costumes. Like, is this going to win a Best Costume Emmy at some point? It deserves it. Like, what the hell?

18:26Ben Mandelker: It deserves it. How are they even talking about Andor and not Real Housewives of Miami? Marisol's been doing that shit for 10 years. I also feel like I'm, like, watching the news. Everything's like, this just in. I'm like, I need a break from this. So I go to Miami and it's like, 2024, Alexia's life. I'm like, oh my God, it's still happening. I'm hearing the news sounds. And finally, I'm glued to my seat. I'm like, oh my God, what's going to happen? So we see a very sad Ferris wheel. It's like.

18:57The Ferris wheel's like pink. It's like. Well, you know Peter.

19:07Ben Mandelker: So we see a yacht that's just floating. And then it says, flashback, April 2022, Todd and Alexia's wedding night. And the fireworks are going off. Everything's exciting. Oh, everybody's dressed up glamorously. And we hear Todd. What an outrageous crowd. It's so good to have you all here at my wedding. You, Alexia, to find the woman that looks like she was drawn by the same guy who does the Pokemon cards. You've changed my life. I don't rent a penthouse. Because remember, that's what Lisa was complaining about in the background of this wedding. She's like, I don't rent. I don't rent. No, she was saying, how dare you accuse me of having a mortgage?

19:51Ben Mandelker: Oh, that's what it was. Sorry. It's even more ridiculous.

19:59They literally had to explain to her what a mortgage was. Do you remember? It's like, it's okay to have a mortgage. People have them.

20:10Ben Mandelker: so we see this beautiful wedding and then we hear Alexia's voice she's like Toad is everything to me and he's always been accepting of the most important thing to me my sons and my boobs and that is why I fell in love with Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad Toad page six real housewives of miami star alexi and the bullet's husband todd files for divorce after two years of marriage

20:49and then we just cut to ariana going yep i was right

20:57Ben Mandelker: called it called it so now flashback to april 2024 which is a whole year ago by the way this i I mean, this timeline's really impressive on this show. So now it's Alexia sobbing in the arms of Marisol. And Julia's like, oh, no, no, don't cry, don't cry. Por favor, por que eso? Oh, my God. Don't let it make you feel like this. Come on, cheer up. Let's turn that frown upside down. All right, everybody, espérame. It's time for a monologue. Okay, all right. I will sit down. All of this happened on Saturday, April 6th. Oh, God. But on Friday, the day before, he told me to pick a restaurant. He said, make it beautiful.

21:42So I pick a restaurant. I get ready for the restaurant. It's a beautiful restaurant. Oh, it sounds wonderful. The menus were new. The menus were so heavy. I was like, what is in this? Is this a brick in the menu? Oh, so heavy. It was so good. There was so much in there.

21:54Ben Mandelker: Who has a heavy menu? Am I right? I mean, it's crazy, the story already. And then he told me, you're the most beautiful woman. He was looking for a card somewhere in my purse. I don't know. He kept calling me a Pokemon. There's always a card in there. There's always a card in the purse. And so then, we had a good dinner. I ordered. I broke my arm from the menu. I thought, ah, I'm out. Heavy menus. Heavy menus. Did you get the fish? And then the next day, everything's gone. Everything's gone. Oh, no. He went and moved out all of my stuff. All of my stuff. And he did it in front of Frankie. Oh, not in front of Frankie.

22:25Ben Mandelker: Not in front of Frankie. Oh. I die. because now the rest of the episode, she's like, how could he do this in front of Frankie?

22:41Ben Mandelker: And you know, in the morning, he was planning to get me out of the house, and he kept on saying, like, why don't you leave already? Why don't you leave already? Because I was, like, going to do something with Peter. And I was like, oh, well, you know, Peter's not ready yet. Why do you have to wait for Peter? I was like, oh, well, you know, it's Peter. I have to wait for Peter. He hasn't woken up yet. He's like, it's 11 a.m. And I said, well, Peter likes to sleep late. He's an artist. He's obviously late until 3 p.m. You know, I have to wait for Peter. Why do you want me out of the house so much?

23:00Ben Mandelker: And he's like, I just want you out of the house. But Peter's like a sleep. I can't leave without Peter. He's like, why can't you leave with Peter for once? I said, why don't you, if you like Peter so much, why don't you stay with him? And I said, no, I'm going to stay with him. And then all of a sudden we were knocking on Peter's door. He's like, don't knock on the door of an artist.

23:15Dios mio.

23:19Ben Mandelker: And he did this all in front of Frankie.

23:23And then Frankie told me, he's gone. He's gone, mom. Todd, he's gone. He did it in front of me. He did it in front of my son, Julia. He left him there in the front. Moving suitcases.

23:37Ben Mandelker: Not the suitcases. Were they four-wheel or two-wheel? Because that's a big difference. He had it all planned. Yeah, he did. You think he's going to move out with you standing there over him? Of course, he escaped. He escaped. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

23:57Ben Mandelker: You know those pieces in your closet, Ronnie, that you find yourself wearing on repeat? The sweater that goes with everything, the perfect pair of pants, or the tee you somehow always reach for first. Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy, and that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high-quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials like 100 % Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and merino wool. The styles are timeless, versatile, and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for day after day. Their 100 % Mongolian cashmere sweater started just$60, giving you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag.

24:37And when the temperatures start to drop, Quince makes it easy to build on those everyday staples with premium down jackets and classic wool outwear. Versatile layers designed to keep you warm and comfortable all season long.

24:48Ben Mandelker: Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80 % less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. I have the Mongolian cashmere zip up hoodie and it's the best thing I own. I wear, I'm so excited that the temperatures are dropping so I can start wearing that again. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Watch Rock Wrappins.

25:23Ben Mandelker: It's the best way to support the show. Losing weight can be like trying to roll a wheelbarrow up a hill. You can do it, but it's so much better and easier with support. Noom combines GLP-1s to kickstart your weight loss with healthy habits to help you keep it off, even if you stop the meds. Noom helps you lose more weight. They found 37 % more weight is lost with Noom than just taking a GLP-1 on its own. and you can sustain it too. Noom helps you make progress that you can keep. And its psychology-based science-backed program pairs GLP-1s with behavioral changes, daily lessons, and food logging to support weight loss that lasts.

26:01The Noom GLP-1 program starts at$39.

26:05Ben Mandelker: And is delivered to your door in as little as seven days. Start your GLP-1 journey today at Noom.com. That's N-O-O-M dot com. Initial one-month subscription from$39 plus tax and$99 plus tax per month thereafter. Cost of medication not included. Final pricing depends on program selection. Results based on a January 2026 analysis of 14 ,203 NoomGLP1RX program members who logged weight over a 40-week period. Higher app engagement was associated with greater weight loss at 16 weeks. I loved Marisol's version of consolation. Well, you know, you've been here before. You married a gay guy. You married a drug dealer.

26:54Ben Mandelker: You stood up on two feet after both those times and look where it got you. Another closeted gay man. It was okay. You're okay. You're going to be fine. Just burn all those ABBA records and you'll be A-okay. She's like, honey, your blood pressure is going up. just relax you gotta calm down this isn't your first time at that rodeo I mean look at you discarded you're like a piece of gum in somebody's mouth you can't be shocked when you're stuck under the table of a diner after a while wait but I have important detail to the story okay cause like on Monday I was talking to him nothing then Thursday I get the phone call from him saying your husband wants to file for divorce but you know what all this time we were talking on Monday and what about Tuesday and what about Wednesday and then Saturday we could have talked but we didn't even get to Saturday so how about that I'm like, thanks for the rundown for every day of your week.

27:46And Julie is there, and she's like, what a heartless, heartless person he is. How could he? I wasn't listening. You've been through it. And so Julie is like, you know what happens when men go? You have your kids. You have your friends. I have a goat. You have a goat.

28:00Ben Mandelker: You have a goat. You have a goat. He's in my purse. His purse. I have a purse goat. So two days later, we cut to Alexia in the car. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello? Hello? Who's this? Who is this? Teresa Jujais. Thank you so much for calling me. You know, a lot of people say that you've never seen us both in the same room. But look, it's proof. We're two different people. Oh, let me tell you what happened. On Monday, I was talking to Todd. On Tuesday, we got post-meets. On Wednesday, we cleaned the floor. On Thursday, he asked for divorce. Just like that. In front of Frankie. Can you believe it?

28:42Ben Mandelker: I thought we'd be together forever. I know. Thank you so much. Okay, thank you. That was very helpful. Does Teresa even know she's on the phone? I could hear the blinks from over here. All you hear from Teresa's side is bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.

29:09Ben Mandelker: She still thought she was on Next Gen New York City. I can't believe Todd divorced Brooks Marks. Later that day. So now she's talking to the whole cast, right? So Lisa's like, oh my God, did we talk about the divorce? I'm leaving Lenny.

29:32There was no fight. There was no nothing. That's why it was so painful. It would have been painful if I saw it. It would have been painful if the maid saw it. But for Frankie to see it.

29:43Ben Mandelker: Do you guys think you can work it out? Things out, things out, like, things like, out, like? I'm short-circuiting, Mike. Yeah, of course, of course. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could take every moment back and make it work again. But I can't do it. Every time I think I'm happy, something else happens. You have never thought you're happy. Listen, I've been watching this lady for a decade. She's never been like, I'm happy. she has but it's been like five minutes and then ten minutes later it's like rivers of mascara like and i just love adriana just sitting there saying well a lot of things make sense now

30:26you know people like kind of half shrug when they're right they're like whatever i was right she just keeps the shrug she's like the whole episode

30:37Ben Mandelker: she does actually and all of her interviews she's like this she's like I keep it up I keep it up so they're like we love you Alexia and Mary's like pile in hookers get on in here get on in here so now we see all the ladies in the group picture but we don't get their opening lines yet can't wait so five months later I love the season hasn't even started yet. This was just like a random weekend. I know. We've spanned already three years in this opening. I mean, like House of the Dragon has nothing on this show.

31:15Okay, so shots of Miami, boobs, cars, cars, boobs.

31:20Ben Mandelker: Cars with boobs. Cars driving boobs. So Alexi and Marisol, they meet each other at this restaurant. They're saying hi in Spanish. after talking about how they're both blonde now and everything. I miss the slow-mo entrances because they don't even do them. Like some of the women, like Kiki will do it like, it's me, Kiki, walking slowly through. But some of them are just so awkward. Like Marisol's just like.

31:50Ben Mandelker: Steve, tell me where my left foot's in front of my right foot, Steve. Like slow motion paint, like eroding off of a wall in a paint commercial. so I guess that would be opposite though with Marisol by the way how do the women look so amazing on this show they do right they look amazing and I think plastic surgery has come so far and so many of us have talked insurance into giving it to us fingers crossed that we're just getting used to these faces because I saw Lisa and I was like she looks 12 and not terrified yeah like has she just grown into it it's so funny earlier today i uh i went on to king five here in seattle and they said that there had been a rumor of there being like a real housewives of seattle and they were like they're like why why do you think seattle hasn't had one yet it's like well i don't see any like plastic surgery billboards anywhere you got to pick up your plastic surgery game here and then it could be considered i mean look at what miami's doing okay yeah they look so crazy but so good i guess i'm just used to it but their skin is like it's not even like i don't even want to pull it back just like a little and it's so shiny and then somebody told me that they're like injecting people now with um i don't know something like fetus something i don't know i think we're beyond stem cells so rest easy babies we're the whole flower cell yeah i'm like can't wait to come to your sip and see packing my little cooler bag in my purse

33:27but they're injecting themselves with something in their face I forget what it is if you remember DM me

33:32Ben Mandelker: the souls of children no we're past children now we're like these don't last long enough your skin cells grow up and blame you for everything who needs that we're about to being splooshed on by salmon I got a salmon sperm facial it's rejuvenating so Marisol and Alexia are talking and Marisol's like by the way Lisa is coming so let's talk before everything happens here okay let's do the real gossip before Monkey gets here so then we see like the first headline of like many headlines that come across our screen which is that Lenny Hochstein and fiancé Katarina Mazepa end their engagement after one year after proposal I thought they were forever a couple he is just like that with everybody he's like going to get with you and break up with you give you a house, lock you out of the house you know how it goes and this week the headline is actually the same it's like Lenny is back with this girl nope, Lenny broke up with this girl is that real they got back together this week?

34:38no, they broke up again this week

34:44that guy's got a lot of energy So Marisol's like I hope she just doesn't fall back And Lenny's trapped I'm sorry Lenny is not trying to trap Lisa He's changing the locks on the house It's not a trap And Alexei's like oh no she's not going to mess things up with Jody Have you seen Jody? Have you seen Jody? Okay let's see Jody Hi everyone I hope you can all come to high earthen Arnie What? Ha ha ha ha ha

35:18Ben Mandelker: What dentist cemented his teeth together? This is why you don't get on the wrong side of a dental professional. Jodi's been by her side. She's not going to mess that up. And I think women just want their exes to be nice to them. That's all we want. That's all we want. Finally, she's going to get it with Lenny. So then on the screen, we see photos of Lenny and Jodi, or Lisa and Jodi, sorry, looking all happy. And Marisol's like, all right. Enough about that. Let's talk about a different couple. Let's talk about Todd. You didn't tell me you were seeing him. I had to see it in the press. Okay, well, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed because I'm a star, okay?

35:57Ben Mandelker: And it's hard not to give him another chance when I'm still in love with him, okay? Because I feel like Todd and I are, like, not finished. Marisol is wearing a glitter dog cone that comes... I don't know how to explain what she's even wearing in this confessional. It's like, okay, it's like a big glitter tube that someone put on her, like a funnel. And then they put a belt. So it like bells out at the bottom and then it bells out at the top. She looks like filter coffee. Yeah. And her face is just kind of like looking over the fence. She's like Lucy from The Peanuts. She's like, no. No, no. No quiero todo.

36:38Ben Mandelker: She's like, wait, you got back together with this guy? I've got like four camera-ready outfits and I burned one of them on that scene consoling you last year. So, in comes Lisa. She's like, hello, everybody, three. Party of three. It's on to Lenny. Okay, okay, yeah, okay, okay. Hi, girls. And they're like, well, we're just talking. We're afraid you're gonna get back with Lenny. She's like, oh, yeah, he's asking. I'm moving back in. Just kidding. They get so mad at her so quickly. Alexia's like, uh-uh, no, no, no, don't do this. I'm telling you, don't do this. It's a huge mistake. She's like, I'm joking.

37:13Ben Mandelker: But it wasn't a very funny joke.

37:18So Alexei is like, yeah, you can do this. You have a daughter, Lisa. You have to be, he needs to be remorseful. You know, you need to think about your children. Think about what he did to Frankie.

37:31Ben Mandelker: I'm just kidding, Jesus, okay? I would rather post a fucking ugly photo of myself naked than I would ever want in a million years to get back with him. I love that's the bottom of the barrel for her. Looks like Lisa's most terrifying thing. The worst thing in the world would be an unflattering naked photo. I would rather go filterless on Instagram. Okay, wait, wait. No, I'd fuck Lenny. I'd fuck Lenny. I would rather drive my maid's Honda Civic again.

38:04I forgot about that. Then get back with Lenny.

38:06Ben Mandelker: You know, there are some people who don't watch Miami and are like, maybe just watch it tonight for the first time. You really need to catch up because the lore is amazing. It's so good. Because this makes sense. The Honda Civic thing makes sense to us Miami fans. So Alexi is like, oh, you know, let me tell you. I have to tell you about Tododod. Okay? He filed for divorce thinking he was going to close the chapter. But then two weeks later, he said, oh, my God, I can't live without the Alexia. I need the Alexia in my life. So he went back to chapter one and said Alexia. He put his penis down on it, slammed the page a few times.

38:40It's a good book.

38:42Ben Mandelker: Okay, you know what? They told me I'm not full-time again, so here's the line I proposed. What's good for the whole isn't always good for the soul. Am I right?

38:55Ben Mandelker: You're welcome, America. All right, well, I'm going to throw a birthday party for Jodie. It's going to be super Marilyn Monroe-ish, right? I had a happy ending, so come on to that one. By the way, I just want to say, spoiler alert, no one shows up dressed old Hollywood-ish to this party. They do dress very like old Elodia. This store in El Paso where I grew up, there was this one lady named Elodia. Elodia. And she was from Mexico and she's like, come to Elodia for all of your formal needs. And you go to Elodia and it's like sparkles. Like, where are you going to wear this in El Paso? There is nowhere to wear this.

39:38But we did. the gay children of El Paso and their mothers at the country club found a way

39:46Ben Mandelker: I was going to say, she was before her time so the question is is Marcus Jordan going to be at Jody's old Hollywood birthday party I'm surprised he wasn't actually because there was a lot of coke there I know the AC was really good so I don't know if there's any coke lovers in here but man, if there's coke at a party, I don't give a shit if fucking Gaddafi's throwing it. I don't care. I don't care if I have to take an unflattering naked photo myself. I'll be there. Gaddafi. I'm so sorry for that. I don't care if Dwight D. Eisenhower's biggest enemy is there. So. If Gorbachev is there, I'm in. I do not care.

40:41Tear down this wall, bitch, and get me the coke.

40:45Ben Mandelker: This just in. Geraldine Ferrara wants in on the party.

40:53Ben Mandelker: So we see a headline that says Larson Marcus have broken up. So Lise is like, okay, well, Lise, so Larson and I had a huge issue, and now my name is getting dragged all over because let me set the record straight and let me be crystal clear, okay? Jody and I were at a fine establishment called Catch, okay? Fine dining, negative three Michelin stars. Look it up. I feel like that restaurant is anti-gay because that's like the worst thing you can say to a gay person. Catch.

41:33Don't throw things at us. Stop doing it. I would like it if it was just called Kvetch.

41:39Ben Mandelker: Hey.

41:44That's a little... Kvetch joke.

41:48Ben Mandelker: Oh, God, I'm on a roll, Geraldine Ferraro. Now, Kvetch, come on. These things happen in threes. Killing it. So, yeah, Jody and I were at catch. And then we see all of Jody's bestest friends in all the whole wide world, including Marcus Jordan, son of the NBA. and we sit down for maybe a minute and that was it. Just one minute, maybe an hour, but probably a minute. And then Jody went out to dinner with his friends, which is sort of weird because we were already at the restaurant and we were leaving the restaurant. But whatever. Yeah, that is a fucked up Lisa story for sure. That's fucked up. And yeah, so we went out to dinner.

42:26You know, we took a picture for his Insta. Big deal. Who of us puts any, you know, any cred into Instagram? Nobody. I know, right? Who cares, you know? Who cares? So then he went to dinner, and I was invited, but I said, hell to the no, I have respect for women.

42:44Ben Mandelker: Hell to the no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is what I said specifically. And then Marcus takes out his phone and takes a selfie with Jody. And he didn't even post it. But Jody's not going to say. Who's Jody to say no to Marcus Jordan? Am I right? Am I right? Am I right? Well, let me tell you, that really hurt her. Marcus thought you could have stopped him. Okay.

43:07Sorry.

43:09Ben Mandelker: Not in front of Frankie. Not in front of Frankie. He's right there. I can't stop Jody from being with his friends. He's a guy. He's a man. Well, Larsa said you should have controlled him. Yeah, well, Larsa, then Larsa, you know what Larsa did to me? You know what she did to me? She texted me, and she said, oh, yeah, well, I'm going to start hanging out with Lenny and Katarina. That is really fucked up. That is really fucked up, you guys. Yeah, well, she plays dirty like that. What are you getting into? Oh, well, am I right? What's good for the soul is good for the pole, right?

43:45It was attack after attack after attack. Listen to this. I'm going to be friends. This text thread is just so Larza, too. Okay, that's cool. Like, I'm, like, going to be friends, like, with anything. Like, and then, like, all my friends, including Greed, love her. That's cool, right? Like, what if I was friends with her? You really like that, right? Like, really? You don't have any real friends. Fuck you. You know what? Clearly, you don't even understand loyalty, whatever. You know what? When you go to an ice cream store and you hand in your cart, they take stamps off of it.

44:19Ben Mandelker: So Alexia has her chin up, you know? She's going to make a point. She's like, do you follow Marcus? Do you follow Marcus? Because you shouldn't follow him. You shouldn't follow him. Women who support women don't follow the men that the women have a problem with. I'm sorry, you need to unfollow them. I'm sorry, you need to unfollow them. Follow. That follow. Unfollow. It's like, well, if I did something wrong, I'd apologize, but I did not do something wrong. Okay? You know why you want to talk to somebody? Talk to Jody. Don't talk to me. Talk to Jody. Don't talk to me. And they're like, oh my God, if they, should I do it at his birthday party?

44:51All right? Should I approach the talking Lincoln Long at his birthday party to discuss this? Commercials Here comes one right now He lurks in shadow He slips into dreams He casts no reflection

45:07Ben Mandelker: Audible presents Bram Stoker's Dracula A full cast audio thriller Starring Ella Pernell from Fallout As Mina Harker Jonathan Bailey from Wicked as Dracula And an A-list cast Including Maggie Gyllenhaal The Dark Knight as Van Helsing Amy Lou Wood from The White Lotus as Lucy, David Johnson from industry as Dr. Seward, and many more. The new full cast thriller locks Mina Harker in a battle of minds with the Count. When Mina's fiancé Jonathan Harker, Louis Partridge from Enola Holmes, vanishes in Transylvania, Mina pieces together letters, diary entries, and chilling testimony to hunt the predator stalking those she loves, only to discover Dracula's already hunting her.

45:52Ben Mandelker: Joined by the enigmatic Van Helsing, Mina and a small fearless band and race against time to stop this ancient terror. Using her intellect, her resolve, and a gift for drawing the unseen lines between clues, Mina just may hold the key to bring down the count if he hasn't already found his way inside her mind. Featuring a haunting original score by Ilan Esquerri from Audible's 1984, and spatial Dolby Atmos sound design, Audible's Dracula invites you to welcome literature's most shadowy figure into your home. Feel the terror of being hunted and the thrill of the hunt. Don't miss the year's best new audio thriller, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Audible's new full cast original adaptation.

46:35Ben Mandelker: Written by Robin Ahern and directed by Mary Lambert. Now on Audible. Listen to the darkness. Go to audible.com slash listen to Dracula. There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV. Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible. Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes. Like, enrich yourself.

47:14New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC.

47:22Ben Mandelker: so now we go to julia and martina's house and uh they are baby proofing their kitchen which you know martina hates this she's like i paid fifty thousand dollars for this stove only to put a piece of plastic over it here's what i tell babies buck the fuck up okay here's a racket enjoy having this ace on your forehead all right i just want to make sure i don't care about the baby-proofing, I just want to make sure everything we buy this baby is Harry Potter themed.

48:02Friend to no one. Anyway, remember when we were daydreaming about expanding our family two years ago? Women being women? Okay, Martina, okay. Not on this show. when we least expect it, we get a call saying there's not one, but two baby boys and three goat.

48:26Ben Mandelker: So now I have goat poop in one hand diaper poop in the other. Oh God, it's real awkward when I mix up diapers. So they have babies and you would think this would be a nice, lovely situation that would not be the source of any sort of drama but you are wrong. This is Miami. Well, it's also Martina. I don't think Martina really thought this was going to happen. She's like, oh my God, I'm so excited. Babies.

48:56Ben Mandelker: Chris Everett drives by like, wow, nice. Enjoying retirement with your babies. Enjoy karma. Enjoy your karma babies, bitch. I'm going to brunch with Steffi Graf. so she's like oh raising two little boys is definitely much different than raising two little girls i'm good and she's like well what do your friends think about it well six of us joined the call welcome to julia drama so the zoom of drama and so we see julia zooming everyone to be like, guess what? I have goat poop in my hand. Is that for your face? Or am I supposed to inject that? What are we doing? What's good for the goat is good for the throat.

49:46Ben Mandelker: Am I right?

49:52So there's this drama because, first of all, if you all are real friends, why aren't you just going to lynch? Like, why do you got to Zoom each other? But okay, so they're Zooming. Let's just pretend it's pandemic time. They're Zooming each other. It's like, I have news. We are all on Zoom call. Where's Gertie? And everyone's like, I don't know. Drops from the call. Gertie didn't make the Zoom call. Don't, don't, don't. Get ready to die. You had your easy cancer season. Now they're coming for you. Because you weren't on the Zoom call. Zoom attack. What the hell with this show? They're like, let's get Gertie this season.

50:26Over the Zoom. Yes.

50:28Ben Mandelker: You were not on Zoom call where I told people I have babies. So now we go over to Lisa's rental house, and Lisa's like, me and Jody decided to take a chance on our love. Right, Jody? That's absolutely correct.

50:48It's like pressing buttons on his head. I'm not the remote control, Lisa. Oh, yeah, right, right, right, sorry. So this home is a 6 ,000 square foot rental home. it's like 35 grand a month 45 grand a month I mean it is it is it is 35, 45 grand a month who cares

51:08Ben Mandelker: it is so white it makes Angie K's home look like it was splattered with paint like a crayon box but no it's this like really you know I mean who cares Lisa works she works five full time jobs I don't know if you've heard if anybody could list even one of those that would be great yeah so uh they're talking about his upcoming birthday party and she's like so i guess you won't be inviting marcus huh he's like no we don't need that he's like yeah i don't need to give larsa another reason to get me for something now do i am right am i right huh he's like guys i wonder what larsa is feeling right now let's go to her penthouse so uh larsa's mother that larsa's mother is there and here's what i love about larsa's mother she looks like she's full of regrets.

52:00Yes. Like, you know how they're like those parents who are like, everything's great. Didn't I do a good job? Look at my kid. Aren't they doing great? Not her mom. She's like,

52:13Ben Mandelker: Oh, this one. This one over here. I'm just stirring up a bowl of please be better. Mom, like, I know you're cooking some food, but like you can leave the skin on, like. No, I don't like it. No, it's better with a skin like, though. No, it's not. It's healthier-like. It's not what I do. Healthier-like, skin like. No? Who's the chef here? You? Please. I mean, I'm a chef, too, honey. Oh, really? Boyardee who? Boyardee who? Open the can. I dare you. I dare you. You getting this camera, person? Watch her try to open the can. Watch her. I can, but I don't want to. Oh, okay. Yeah. Stupid. So, Larsa talks about being raised.

52:55Ben Mandelker: Her parents were great at everything. blah blah blah. And so she says It's like my big fat Greek wedding in my house. No it's not. Not even the sequels. You know mom I'm kind of getting used to being like alone now like Good. Welcome to the rest of your life. It's hard. Especially when you're with the wrong person. Oh. Oh. Are you crying? Yeah. Are you crying? Yeah. Oh, any tears coming out there? Make them tilt, tilt. Maybe they come out of you, tilt. Try harder. Try harder. No, no, no, you don't understand. It was like so hard like on my family having all the press in the world focused on us.

53:41Ben Mandelker: Oh, yes, all the press. It didn't matter what country you were in. You could be in like France-like. Name another country. Do it. You could be in like London-like. You could be in Idaho-like. Okay, country Larsa. Country Larsa. You could be in the country of Cancun-like. Everyone was like, oh my God. Christ. There's so much on us. Yeah, and now Lisa's talking about me publicly. I have tears coming out of my eyes. They really hurt, Mom. Ow, tears. My face is so wet. Ow. Ow. Same tears I had giving birth to you. Yes. Wait a minute. I need a minute, Mom. I need a... I'm giving on plane. I can't be here anymore.

54:37Ben Mandelker: Larsa is acting like her breakup with Marcus was like scantabal. And like literally like we saw it and I'm like, oh, okay, cool. And we all moved on. And she's like, the way he's been saying things about me in the media, it's like crazy. It's just so hard on my family. no one cares, Larsa.

54:58So then we go to Lisa's house and Lisa's like, I mean, these two? They get together, they break up, they get together, they break up. Who could take that in a couple? Okay, you know what, look. We can say what we want about Larsa, but Lisa, you're not in the place, man.

55:12Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So then Lisa gets a call and her dad is unwell, so she's like, sorry everyone, you thought this would be a fun scene. guess what it's not and then we go over to some docks in the ocean side and we have fan favorite kiki kiki and gertie are just going onto a yacht and here's another thing i love about this show you know we all love salt lake city but like the this at this point in like a season premiere in salt lake city they're all like walking into pay less shoes and kiki's going onto a yacht so it's just nice to somehow have that glam. Just because, not to even drive around or anything.

55:49She's just like, I can go to a yacht. I fucked the guy from there. Yeah. It's just

55:54Ben Mandelker: nice to have higher standards sometimes. So Gertie comes like, oh my god, girl, what is this, a yacht? It's a yacht? This is crazy. Look at me. I'm like in 15 pounds. It's like so ridiculous, and now here I am on a yacht. The word cancer will never leave my mouth again. so after the cancer I had six surgeries I mean we were all very happy for Gertie we love Gertie and we're so glad that she has kicked cancer's ass yeah she's like I had a breast reduction I lost weight I did everything cancer said no I said fuck you cancer I'm gonna do it so I did it and you know Russell it's such a weird thing to say to somebody who's just had cancer but Kiki's like, oh, don't worry.

56:45I'm sure Russell doesn't even mind it. You look fine. So Miami to be like, don't worry. I'm sure you can still get fucked. I mean, he did marry you, right?

57:02So Kiki is like, oh, the reason we're on this yacht is because I'm a member of the Miami Beach Yacht Club. That's right. because I used to fuck the owner. So I still get to use his yacht whenever I want. And they're like, wait, so you're no longer dating him and he still lets you use it? Did you break up? She goes, yeah. What's wrong with that?

57:28Ben Mandelker: She's like, I'm still supposed to fuck him? No. She's like, why are you acting like I have to fuck him to be on a yacht? You guys are crazy. So what's funny with Kiki is that as big as Alexia's reaction, Alexia always has so much drama and it's always so big. Like, just when I thought I was happy. But like, Kiki Loki always has as much drama. She's like, oh yeah, so, you know, my son just graduated high school and started college and I was dating someone. And then I found out this whole time he had a girlfriend and a whole other family. And he calls up and says, by the way, I broke up with my girlfriend.

58:00Ben Mandelker: Anyway, enjoy the yacht. And there she goes like through Housewives five seasons, you know, like, well, I had a baby. Then I taught the baby to drive. and I got a divorce. I met a new man and I got rid of the new man after I found out he had a new family. You know, now I have a yacht. How about you? So then they check in with Adriana and Adriana's like, well, I'm currently seeing someone. He's like a tall French man that you saw. Kiki, I have a pattern. I have a pattern, Kiki. I like my men like I like my coffee. French roast, tall, dark, with a little bit of green. I added that part for her. Because I know she wanted to say it.

58:45My rules are don't waste my time. Oh, yeah? Well, I want to transition to Alexia because maybe she's shacking up a todigan in a hotel. What? What? What? Did anybody read this? Did anybody read this? It was all over the place. It was all over the place. I had to read it.

59:03Ben Mandelker: You know, I think right now Alexia's judgment is just pretty cloudy. you know, because I understand because in the Latin culture sometimes we forgive our man way too many times. That's completely unlike my culture. I never forgive them. But I still fuck them.

59:25Never forgive, but never stop fucking. Yeah, well I hope she finds peace with whatever is going on with her and Todd because now I can see what she's going through through the other side of the tunnel. I look through the other side of the tunnel of happiness and I look to sadness. You know, it's like the reverse of when you die. I'm standing in heaven and I'm saying, go away from the light. You are very sad.

59:54Ben Mandelker: And she's like, I just hope I can be there for her. And they're all like, Adriana? You know what you just, did you watch the last two seasons? No. So then we go to Alexi and Larsa meeting for their fight. Fight lunch. Fight lunch. Fight lunch. So Alexi and Larsa are talking. Wait. It's actually just Alexi and Larsa talking. Oh, don't worry. No, it's not a fight lunch. Sorry. Regular lunch. Regular lunch. Regular lunch. Oh, my God. Alexi is in pain lunch. Alexi is in pain. Oh, my God. I don't know if you know this, but I was just chased by so many paparazzis. They were from heaven, so they were ghosts.

1:00:37Ben Mandelker: You couldn't see them. Oh, my God. I just wanted to get together with you and ask you about how it's going with Marcus. Because let me tell you, as somebody who's going through this with Todd, it's so sad for me. It is so sad for me. Tell me what's happening with Marcus. It's just a little sadder for me, though. I know. For me, it's so sad. It's like a little sadder for me, though. It's sadder for me. Because you just get to a point where you've been hurt so many times in your fake relationship. I'm hurt so much. I'm hurt right now. I'm hurt right now. I look back at all those other girl rumors and everyone was telling me, look out, I shouldn't have believed Marcus.

1:01:07Ben Mandelker: And the white substance on his nose picture. Oops, did I say that on the show? That's crazy. It's embarrassing for me. It really hurt me in Todd. Everyone was so embarrassed by that. It hurt me so much. I felt like I snorted Marcus and it gave me an overdose of Todd. Does that make sense? but you know what's great about those tables what they turn what are you a waitress what is this Applebee's turn them and burn them what's good for the table is good for the fables okay I'm running dry here a little bit I'm running dry so now we go to the I love that they outed well they didn't really out Marcus's coke thing because then we see the picture of Marcus in doing coke, basically.

1:01:58First of all, who does coke over breakfast? The whole point of doing coke is that you don't have to eat breakfast. I mean, that's just wasteful. It's wasteful of eggs and coke. Pick one. There are children without coke all over the country.

1:02:16But there's breakfast here, and then Marcus has a spoon for cereal piled with coke. And he's like...

1:02:23Ben Mandelker: It was sugar for his tea. Sugar for his tea. So now we go to this birthday party thing for Jody. And it's ridiculous, you know. And so Alexia, there's like a tall guy there. So Lisa's like, oh, my God. Jody's got a tall friend. You should talk to him. And Alexia's like, no, you should tell Kiki because I'm married. Just one episode. You're ping-ponging too much. I know. So they're all like chit-chating and everything. thing and then um julia is there and she's like oh adriana i haven't seen you in a bit and who is tall person that looks terrified in his eyes next to you you've been hiding him he's you're probably the reason why i haven't seen adriana in a year aren't you is this french guy smart what do you guys think i think he's dumb does anybody know french i wish i knew french so i could know what he's saying because I don't believe the I don't believe the Chiron's or whatever.

1:03:24Ben Mandelker: Yeah, no, he's a con artist. You do? But she's broke. What's he going to get? Well, he's a bad con artist. Thirsty maybe for TV? I think he's kind of cute. He's got like a big French nose and he's just like, oh. He sort of looks like Oliver Martinez. Remember Oliver Martinez? Yeah, wasn't that guy on the Netflix show about banging a lot? 29 days? Was that? Wait, is that a zombie show? Why are so many things named like 28 Days? There's the rehab with Sandra Bullock. There's the one with the zombies with Kate Wetzelbunz. Yeah. And then there's that. Jax's rehab. Yeah.

1:04:05Ben Mandelker: Sorry, that was called 28 Seconds. Also, wedding night. Jax's wedding night. Okay. So, yeah. So, they're all getting there. and Adriana is really like, look at me, I boyfriend now.

1:04:27But never quite looking at him. She's always looking at the cameras while she's like, camera, look.

1:04:34Ben Mandelker: That guy was there. He was like, I'm just here to meet Martina. I want to get her autograph. By the way, we are seeing the seeds of the big Julia-Adriana fallout because that's one thing. That friendship is over now. And so it is very sad. And Adriana says that she has not been communicating with Julia as much because Julia has been getting closer with Alexia. Yeah. Don't Alexia and Mary suck. Don't, don't, don't. So Kiki, so Kiki, Gigi, ka-ka-pong-pong. Okay, so Kiki's there and Gertie comes in. and Gertie took old Hollywood to mean full, skin-tight, lace body scoot. Just like Betty Davis. With her vag out.

1:05:21I mean, it was with her vag out. And so she shows up and she's like, Hello, everybody! Old Hollywood, am I right? What is this, like a silent movie or what?

1:05:30Ben Mandelker: And she has no idea that she's in trouble because of a Zoom link. So she's like, Oh, how are the kids? Hello, Julia and Martina, how are the kids? Are they good? You were so happy with your kids. And Julia really took three seasons, but her flower has bloomed. She's just like this. She's like, oh, hello.

1:05:49Ben Mandelker: And Martina gives her a fuck off face. She goes, mm-hmm. Grady's like, okay, I guess my window of cancer sympathy has expired, okay? Jeez. So she's like, okay, well, I know this isn't the time or place to talk about things, Bob. I just want to say things are good. Are things good? Are they good? Good. Okay. So now we get one of the douchiest fucking things I've ever seen. The bartender. He's like, guys, welcome to meat and fucking meat. He's like, welcome to steak fucking a steak's face. Welcome to eating a cow coming out of a cow coming out of a fucking giraffe that ate a kangaroo. We're eating them all today.

1:06:33So today we're doing tequila shots With bones that we slaughtered Off of a cow And then cut in half So you can drink the marrow With the tequila That is nasty murder Get that shit out of here You're all going to share the same marrow now What happened to the masks How did we come so far Where I had to put my My hand sanitizer on To get a fucking shopping cart but now people are just swapping cow bones and sucking down on the same cow bone like it's nothing.

1:07:08Ben Mandelker: I would have done it. So Larsa shows up, and she and Lisa obviously have tension. So Lisa's like, hey, Larsa, we have stuff to talk about. And Larsa's like, we do. You never answered my text like, or you even called me. Because I called you like. Yeah, I called you like. I called you X, Y, Z, like. Called you this and that. I don't I didn't You know what I think I didn't get it Did you not get it Because I called you Nope Didn't get it babe You know what Because remember We had a whole fight on text Yeah well then Why didn't you call me After we had our fight on text Oh well I'm one of your friends You should call me Yeah I'm going through A national scandal Well Yeah but You know what I didn't get it So Are you drunk Are you drunk right now Yeah So Yeah Okay whatever Go to use the bathroom I'm gonna get a drink No I gotta go use the bathroom I gotta go to the bathroom.

1:08:01I gotta drink like

1:08:03Ben Mandelker: in this and that XYZ life. No, I didn't hear it. Don't call me because I'm not going to get it. I'll be in the bathroom. I don't get calls in the bathroom. Maybe I was in the bathroom when you met. So she goes to the bathroom.

1:08:16Because she comes back like, okay, guys, I'm ready. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I feel great.

1:08:24Ben Mandelker: So over on the sofa, which I'm sure will be tossed in the trash after this episode, Adrienne and her man are lying on it. Oh. Mmm. Come here. Give me some kisses. Oui, oui. Bonjour. You better give me some kisses. Yeah, bisous. Oh. Let me ask you a question. How many times can I fuck you? Eh. Every time you ask. Oh. Oh. Seven times. If you want seven times, we'll do seven times. Oh. Ten times. If we do ten times, there will be not enough time in the day. for ten times of sex. And then they start playing French accordion music. Which is not what you want to associate with sex necessarily. While they start dry humping and making out on the couch.

1:09:13Ben Mandelker: It was turning, by the way, into a very scandalous Sesame Street episode. How many times do you want to have sex? Seven times? That'll be seven times. Eight times? That'll be eight. Nine times? That'll be nine. I was like, let's get the count out of here, please. And she's like, Well, you know, I really like this guy, and he just happens to be royalty, too. He's, um, what is he? He's a marquee. He's a marquee. I love a good Marriott. I'm just waiting for it to come out that he's just, like, in a French cover band of marquee marquee. Good vibrations. Sweet sensations. So Jodi's standing there like.

1:10:03And Larza comes up to him and say, oh, my God, Jodi, like, it's like your birthday. Like, wow. You know, like, happy birthday to me because, like, Lisa's a bitch. Like, she's so mean to me. You know, she's, like, not even a good communicator.

1:10:16Ben Mandelker: Lisa? Lisa's not good. No, she's not. But, like, I, like, love her. Like, she's, like, my best friend. Like, but, like, you've, like, been hanging out with Marcus, like, or, like, have you seen, like, what Marcus has been saying about me? you're like, what? I haven't been following it too much. Hey, I like your earrings. Oh. All right. So we go to the dressing room where Lisa is changing. She's like, yeah, I got a new dress. It's my party. I mean, it's not really my party. It's Jody's party. But you know, you change at your wedding, right? I mean, that's not my wedding. But I'm changing now. It's white.

1:10:49Is there anything on it? Stop snorting your dress, Lisa. Jesus. is. So then we go back to Larsa and Jodi. Yeah, but like, have you even seen the stuff Marcus is saying about me? It's so mean. They reported it all over the news in Bulgaria. There's so many countries that it's happening in. Walmartia, Targetia. I haven't seen

1:11:14Ben Mandelker: anything. No, I don't know. Trader Joe's. Is it hot in here? I think I need to go into a room. It's like mean. So now the cast is sitting around, and Martina and Gertie are, you know, so Gertie's like, you know what's so weird? I feel like so weird here. Like, I'm like the odd man out or something, because, like, people aren't talking to me, and Martina's like,

1:11:38I have short hair now.

1:11:43Ben Mandelker: So basically, Martina's like, you didn't go on the Zoom. So Gertie's like, I have a very busy day. I have a Zoom that's at 1.30, and at 1.33, I have another Zoom meeting, okay? So if it does not start exactly on time, I will not get my three minutes on the Zoom, and that's just what it's like being a professional wedding planner. I am voted number one wedding lady in everywhere, including Harper, Bazaar, and Vogue. Brazil. So whatever. And if I have to come to a Zoom, I was there to go on the Zoom, and then people didn't tell me about the Zoom, so I had to go to a meeting. What about the Zoom?

1:12:17And Martina is just like, hmm, I don't know. There's something about a Zoom. I'm not discussing it I think I'm gonna go get a drink

1:12:28Damn Martina

1:12:29Ben Mandelker: So then we cut to Jody talking to one of his bros and he's like hey is there a shot you want to do a shot and he's like yeah let's get a shot and you want to go to my room there's some really good AC in my room and they go in the room and lock the door yeah let's go get some AC in my room and I love the messy queen who is like I know what they're doing and then just stood there with a little camera filming the door for 20 minutes. He's like... Although he's probably like, Guys, this camera's really heavy. Can I have some AC? Can I have some AC? So, back to the party, Lisa and Laura sit down to have their fight again.

1:13:09Ben Mandelker: So Lisa's like, You know what? I'm feeling really great because karma's coming around and things are looking good. Everything's coming up, Lisa. Oh, so like, what are you doing? You're like celebrating Lenny or what? She goes, no, no, I'm not celebrating Lenny. I'm celebrating the breakup of Lenny. The breakup of Lenny. I'm celebrating Lenny. It's like, Lenny! Oh, well, don't forget that when life wasn't so good, things were sad, and your friends were there for you. What about your friends? And they lift you up like... some of us are like not really in a good place right now like and you should like check in on us like yeah because like when you broke up with lenny like i remember when you broke up with lenny and then i was like why'd you break up with lenny he's rich you're gonna have to get a job and then you were like fuck off larissa and i was like no working's hard girl remember i was trying to be so supportive yeah because i'm like trying to remove a toxic relationship from a person in my life and like do you think i want you to hang out with him like and like then have him send you like a message of everything like you guys talked about like like why are you hanging out with like with him at catch like i wasn't even hanging out with him it's so toxic i just went to a dinner you know and there was like an instagram there and you know how it is like there's an instagram what am i gonna do is i know the instagram i mean what am i satanic no so like i didn't need i didn't need dinner because like i don't need it really you know i get shots but also like it's disgusting like i would never eat i would never not eat around to meet it you know what i mean so i I didn't eat, but I also did not eat around him.

1:14:42I'm a friend. I'm a woman of women.

1:14:44Ben Mandelker: I'm trying to, like, remove this toxic person from my life, like. Why can't you help me do that, like? I can't control another person. Have you seen Jody? He's a man. You can't influence the guy whose dick you suck every night, like. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, I do not suck dick every night. I'm a mother.

1:15:09Ben Mandelker: I told you I'm a mother I've got five full time jobs when am I gonna be sucking dick I told you it was a very bad situation for me like and you didn't even you know like by the way you never even told me about all of your bad situations with Lenny like okay yeah but yeah but that was like different that was a 15 year old relationship with an 80-year-old man. You know what I mean? There were so many levels of breaking up there. You know, it was like, if I leave him, is he going to be up there? You know what I mean? There's a lot going on. You decided to have girls in your hot tub, like... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:15:45Why are we talking about my sex life? Are we going to talk about your sex life? Are we going to talk about the Smurf fucking OnlyFans butthole bleat shit that you do? Like, what are we going to do here?

1:15:55Ben Mandelker: Oh, my God. Why is Marcus even hanging out with Jody? It's so hard with all these cameras around. Diane Sawyer at my door Anderson Cooper sneaking up on me and Trader Joe's Trader Joe himself showing up It's awful I mean, come on You guys broke up like four different times Let's be fair, okay? You broke up and like at least one of those times was fake It was a fake breakup Hey Which time was fake? They're all of them I was about to say which one wasn't That was not fake Was there one like by the reunion? Right These storylines, there's too much to keep up with on this show Our breakups were not fake, we were actually both murdered That was the traitors

1:16:42I'm a ghost That wasn't even fake That wasn't even fake, you're a fake bitch to say that You're fake You know what, you're like fake like bitch like You're a bitch like fake like bitch like fake

1:16:54Ben Mandelker: There's the door, Shannon Mador, you need to leave you can go and now Mary's soul is offended we've literally just heard dick sucking hot tubbing you know coking everything and finally someone gets kicked out and Mary's soul is like oh madre de dieu we don't do us Cubans we don't do what's good for the door is good for the whore am I right

1:17:28so larsa's like you're a horrible like friend like and like the only time you like call me like is like when you need people at your fake parties like these aren't even people that's mario over there hey mario why don't you go jump on a mushroom stupid hey bye mushroom kingdom is real

1:17:44Ben Mandelker: okay jody's having a moment with it in the bathroom nothing's even real here all these people are fake. Look, I can put my hand right through this lady. Ow. Ow, you hurt my hand, you stupid bitch. Fake, stupid plastic bitch. And then it literally does cut to Jody going, the AC in here is so good. Please let me in. I'm really hot out here. Hello, Star would like to talk. Lisa, that was extra mean. That was extra mean. You need to apologize. That was extra mean. You don't call someone a stupid bitch in their home. You wait to do that at lunch. monkey i think you've had too much to drink coming from you jesus christ you kidding you're like a retired liver in burbank i would have expected more from you marisol so now larsa's in the bathroom this is like this is the most we've ever seen larsa try to fake cry it was wonderful she's like

1:18:44Ben Mandelker: She's like a car trying to start in the winter.

1:18:53But her face can't move, which is so funny.

1:18:56Ben Mandelker: She's just like...

1:19:02Ben Mandelker: It's like so helpful. It's so helpful. When she literally knows I'm in a bad place. Like literally I hate my apartment. It's the worst place. And Kiki's like, I've seen Larsa cry before, but I've never seen her ugly cry like this. She's hitting her own face. Like, ah, ah. So Kiki follows, well, she won't leave, right? Larsa won't leave. So Kiki's like, okay, listen, you can't keep running. Don't leave. So Lisa's like, Larsa, I don't want you crying, but you can't call me a bitch. Oh yeah? You're like such a victim bitch, like stupid, like sad bitch land. You know what? Hold on. I came up with this one in the bathroom.

1:19:42You know where you live? You live in Lisa-like land. It's called the Magic Kingdom, okay? How come you said I had a fake breakup? That's so mean. The first one was fake, okay? The whole world knows what you are. Now get out of my house.

1:20:00Ben Mandelker: Oh, monkey, that's not nice. She's your friend. Don't do that. So Larza leaves and Kiki walks her out and Kiki's like, honey, honey, be safe. Do you need me to take you to a car or something? She's like, no, I got it. She goes, but you're so pretty and you have big boobs. Are you sure? You could get kidnapped. And that's it. And then we go back inside and Lisa's like, happy birthday to you. And then he's just like, and that brings us to the end of the real house thank you seattle you guys are awesome thanks for coming out tonight we love you guys bye everyone

1:20:56Ben Mandelker: watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Alison King Our way is the Amber way It's the Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster She can run my country, it's Angie McGovern It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto Put your hands together for Carly Clapp Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt We never miss her call, it's Diane Call Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less Hava Nagila Weber You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less namey. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

1:21:36Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. She gets an A, it's Kelly B. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B. K, surah, surah, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel.

1:22:16Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.

1:22:18Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master, the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran We got our wish, it's Jen Plish She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie Knock knock knocking on Katie Manok's door My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Chadley In the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lo Alkalani The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters She Eases Our Woes, it's Melissa St.

1:23:29Rose We're On The Floor with Molly Dorsett There's a Chance of Meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud

1:23:34Ben Mandelker: She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke We Cannot Tell A Lie, it's Sarah Tell of Sun Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony Come on, shake your body, baby, do the Sidney Cogdon Let's take off with Tam La Plaine It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.