#2891 RHOA S16E15: Throwing Jabs

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2:12What happens when there's so much that crappens?

2:42Los Angeles Thursday night covering the Valley. We're super excited. Come check us out in LA. It's the end of our mounting hysteria tour. We are also doing Love Island recaps every day that we record, which is three or four times a week over on our Patreon. The latest one just went up for a very crazy episode of Love Island last night. Go check that out. If you want videos of all our recaps, just join us on Patreon as well. Or you can get them free a week later over on our YouTube channel. just search watch what crappens in YouTube

3:15Ben Mandelker: how you feeling today buddy feeling great I'm so excited I'm really excited for our show on Thursday like really really really excited and I'm like honestly Love Island was so good last night that I've just been kind of like riding that high oh also we're going to be on Julia Cunningham's show tomorrow on Radio Andy so keep an ear out for that on CSXM and also we are on the big flop today we did a Jen Shaw episode with Misha. So go check that out. The big flop. Jen Shaw. We're all over the place. We're just like all over the place. All over. You know where else I appeared this week? Where? Nordstrom Rack.

3:57There's a Nordstrom Rack over in NoHo West. I didn't even know Ho West was a thing, but it's like this place with a Nordstrom Rack. So I went there.

4:04Ben Mandelker: It was amazing. Is NoHo West the thing that's like on like where that macy's was like laurel canyon and yeah yeah they redeveloped all that i haven't been to it really nice nordsies so i was there yesterday hi everybody okay so today is real housewives of atlanta i love this episode i think this was one of the best episodes of the seas and i have to say i think it's because the energy of the oh geez was great porsha i agree and Phaedra opening this just gossiping in their room was fucking hilarious. I agree 100%. It's like not that so much even happened this episode. They just were being really funny.

4:48Ben Mandelker: The chit chat amongst the ladies was very funny. I do think that Phaedra is actually working out pretty well just in terms of that she's funny and she's having all these kiki moments with the OGs. There is just a really strong energy there And it's just becoming more and more apparent how like useless Brit is amongst all this. Even Kelly is somehow coming to life a little bit more. So I totally agree. Not much happened, but like great vibes. Yeah, it was funny. So they were talking about, we opened with them in the morning talking about the night before how his housewives gone wild. And they all got shit faced basically.

5:31And Phaedra is like, well, somebody's probably pregnant. I might have gotten Cynthia pregnant for all I know. Cynthia got me pregnant. And then we see Grenada, Chapter 3, Rebirth.

5:45Ben Mandelker: Yes. And so now Drew and Angela are talking about last night. And Drew is like, you know, I've just been waiting for this vacation. Like that moment, that's just what I've been waiting for this whole time. I felt like the first time all vacation where it was just we were all laughing, having an amazing time, drinking, turning up. Everyone was twerking. It was like we were having a dinner party and there was no one crazy in the basement at the same time. What a wonderful feeling. And Angela's like, yeah, we had so much fun. But, you know, then, you know, I know Brit and her monologue that lasted 30 minutes, which I've been thinking about all week.

6:20Brit's monologue like I love you. We are like sisters. We are soulmates. We have been best friends for 30 years. And I want you to remember that. and she's like and i think she was coming from a good place but then i start i made the mistake of looking at your ass and drew's like what did i do and then we see drew just kind of giving her

6:43Ben Mandelker: the side eye like what the fuck is this chick on man yeah and then like drew is like she we come back and she goes and they say i'm the actress i mean well somebody else got me beat because what we saw last night i'm like of course leave it to drew sedora it doesn't how diss her own career She's like, I mean, I'm clearly not a good actress. Don't tell that. That's your career. Okay. Don't tell the casting directors. Like, oh, she took center stage. A round of applause. So they're making fun of that. And she's like, are they about to tongue kiss? And she's like, I was like, are you attacking Shamil?

7:22Like, what's happening here? And she's like, Angela says, you know, what I thought was interesting is that I didn't even realize that her and Kelly weren't that close. And then they start talking about the dinner where Brit was left on an island over the charity conversation when Kelly was like, yeah, you know, you should give more to charity. Dun, dun, dun. Are they even really friends?

7:48Ben Mandelker: Kelly's the same girl who jumped on me when Brit and I had our words, so something isn't right. I mean, they're not speaking. They're not close. They're not laughing. My spidey senses are jumping right now. So they definitely feel like, wait a second, aren't these two supposed to be like besties? Why was Kelly not supporting Brit last night? Yeah. Something is up. So Shamia FaceTimes her mom about the kid. Like, how's the kid? How's Shiloh? And she's like, well, you know, the baby was freezing. We got her out of the crib. She was shaking. She was so cold. And then she's like, and then what about the nanny?

8:25And she's like, oh, the nanny was at the North Pole. She had on like a heating blanket and a bikini. She was just fine.

8:33Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So to me, it's saying how she gets so anxious because anytime Shiloh gets sick, she often winds up going to the hospital and she's like a lot and she's just going to try to enjoy her trip. So now we go over to Cynthia and Portia and Portia has this enormous hat that has like, like, it was just like shag carpeting. It was just like a giant hat with like carpeting. on top and she's showing it off to Cynthia and she's like, this is my look and Cynthia's like, when are you going to wear that hat? She goes, I'm going to take pictures downstairs with you. She's like, okay wow, that's a lot. So she basically asked her if she's talked with Shamia and checked in on her and stuff like that.

9:16Yeah, so then Cynthia comes over I mean, sorry, Cynthia's already there. So Phaedra comes over and she's like, it's me and she's like, well girl, can you stand on your tippy toes? I can't see you in the door I'm not strawberry shortcake. Okay, listen. I've been trying to play that TV so many times it won't even work in my room. I need to see murder as I go to sleep. A good crime show. I like to see people get murdered and then people running around trying to figure out who did it. You know, my mom, I've told you this story, but my mom can only go to sleep with horror movies playing or Lifetime movies.

9:55And it's so fucking disturbing. me every time I go home and stay at my mom's house oh my god it's like two in the morning and you just hear from her room it freaked me out the first time I was home years ago because I just hear

10:11it's like top volume this like ladies getting their asses murdered it's the only way she can

10:16Ben Mandelker: go to sleep it's sick it's sick oh my god that's it's very intense for me like I I am I'm so impressed that your mom can watch all those movies because i like i can't even watch like a scary trailer like let alone a movie or anything like that like i am to be able to watch so delicate one thing but to need them to go to sleep is just it's like a whole kind of trauma can i don't even want to open i think it's too late to even open it you know like where does this come from you know at some point just watch your damn horror movies you know go to sleep with it i don't care so phaedra saying like last night the girls were so crazy i mean like the shot o 'clock or whatever was going on angela you know she gives me school teacher like she teaches math she's very very she's very stern and then they're like yeah like would you ask you something she's um here's my question so phaedra's like yes i know she was like barbara walters last night all the questions and i was like i want to ask you one thing but by the way what was going on with the shamia, the donations.

11:16Ben Mandelker: I mean, everyone's got a Rolls Royce. I mean, that's not the point. I mean, the African starter kit is a fucking Rolls Royce and AP bust down and some Ferragamos. I mean, if you don't have that, you can't be African, okay? The African starter kit was hilarious. She's like, why are we acting like a Rolls Royce is a big deal? Come on now. So Cynthia's like, what's a bust down? And she's like, oh yeah, you know, having like diamonds and everything everywhere. and Phaedra starts saying how she's like in Scamlanta everybody's got everything and she starts talking about how there's just like scammers everywhere and Portia's like yeah Scamlanta is like a lot of scammers and scamalinas out there I love that Phaedra's bringing it up because you know Phaedra is one of the top scamalinas in Atlanta she's always been Shady Fae Fae you guys have Juiced Dwar on your cast so yeah so she's like well I got I get fingers fingerprints and run them through the GBI cause honey you'll be trick or treated in Atlanta okay there's more tricking than treating though so Portia's like but it just kept going and going and the Brits getting more upset you know she's like a dog with a bone I mean you know they're shading the building you know who's shading me like oh my god oh my god dog with a bone like that was the last episode where Shamia's like do not call me a talk with a bow.

12:41Ben Mandelker: How dare you. I was like, we have to drop this metaphor because it's causing a lot of drama amongst these ladies. So, yeah, so they're talking about how, you know, this whole thing from last night, and the page was like, I have a little bit of tea, commercial break, and we're back. Here's the tea. So Brit said the glam people in Tinkerbell, that Tinkerbell hired, they have to go with Tinkerbell or else. And as we suspected, and as we pretty much confirmed last week through the gossip, But as we suspected, all those little scenes earlier in the season were like, something is up. We're spending a little bit too much time with the glam squad.

13:16Ben Mandelker: And like, why are we finding out that Kelly has just lent a glam squad to Brit for the day? Like, why are they giving us this information with no follow up? It must be seeding something. And here it is. Here it is. So she's, Phaedra's saying that Kelly doesn't want her using the same glam squad as Brit. So then we see clips of the stylists, you know, loaning the stylist out or whatever. So Portia's like, oh, my God, finally the season is working. We've got glam drama. Thank God. And she's like, I mean, okay, wow, we got drama. I mean, these are the same two that came out in the same pink outfit at my birthday party looking like Ren and Stimpy.

14:02Ben Mandelker: They're just like, they're like fake frickin' frack. yeah so phaedra's like there's not a pair of pants in the world that can keep me from my best girlfriend so um they're basically like porsche's like yeah they always they like don't speak without each other like it doesn't matter who's talking like they basically finish each other's sentences and then we see footage of them finishing each other's sentences yeah and standing up for each other and stuff and so porsche's like well you know um kelly was very quiet while she shimmy and Brit were going at it. And Cynthia's like, yeah, I was like, what's going on with Kelly?

14:40She didn't say a word. Well, actually, she did. She just said waffle. I didn't really know what that meant.

14:47Ben Mandelker: Glad she got that in there. I didn't know what it meant, but I leaned into it because I thought I might get a free waffle out of it. So she's like, yeah, she was making facial expressions, but then for Kelly to hold Brit accountable for that donation. And then we see the flashback where Kelly's like, Well, I'm not saying it was the best donation, but if we're going to show up and be that girl, we have to be that girl in all aspects of our lives. I say Rolls Royces for everyone here, every child. With a waffle on the inside. Do you know I got a waffle iron, by the way? I'm surprised you didn't have one.

15:25That's a big surprise in that news.

15:29Ben Mandelker: Yes, the good people at Cuisinart sent me a little waffle iron. And I have now started to make waffles and I am now, I am now in the full waffle. I'm in my waffle era. Oh, so you're going to be like waffle influencing now on your Insta? I don't know if I'm a waffle influencer. I'm under no obligation to be a waffle influencer, but I am doing waffle experiments. I definitely, because we talked last week about waffles and fish. So I did make a waffle and I put pickled herring on it and it was delicious. And so I am now fully, I'm a little waffle. I'm like a little Kelly. I'm now becoming my, making my own little waffle empire in my place.

16:06Ben Mandelker: And I have to say, I waffle irons are fun. Congratulations. That's huge. You got sent a waffle iron from Cuisinart. I love that. I know you're on the radar. Yeah. I don't know. yeah, it was very cool. I'm not, I'm not mentioning it because of Cuisinart. I'm mentioning it because I'm really liking making waffles right now. And I'm expect, expect, expect a lot of waffle stories going forward. That's my little advertisement. Yeah. putting some art in the Cuisinart. So they're still talking about what's going on with these two crazies. And Phaedra's like, you know, I mean, I told Britt what she's doing is weird.

16:44She's just, it's too much, you know. People want fun. They want fun. And she's like, you know, we like fun. We like fantasy. We like dungeons. We like things and drinks. So maybe she was giving us fantasy by showing us her tits because she had an inverted nipple the other night. They're like, what? She goes, yeah. You know, I said, oh, we got nipple problems. And so she popped it out and it popped out like a balloon.

17:10Ben Mandelker: And they're like, what? Then then Portia turns to Cindy goes, oh, like your clit. And Cindy's like, excuse you? And she's like, your clit, you know, the thing in your vagina, you know how that's all inverted, you know, just like your clit. She like takes like her some cloth and puts it over her face and just like, that's not meant for TV. She's like, oh my god, well, I have a hood. And they're like, a hood? And Faye goes, a hood? There's a clip with the KKK? What's on a... Oh my god. She's like, yeah, no, you're her clip been getting racially profiled. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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20:47Well, I got rest. And Kelly's like, well, okay. The night maybe started off a little woo. But, you know, it's a lot of unpacking, you know, in the situation with Shamia. And, oh, that was a lot. But glad that's over. Anyway, I have to go to court. I'm getting divorced. So you can't fight with me right now. And Beth's like, mm-hmm. Okay, I know. I know. And she's like, yeah, because, you know, we have to go over property things. And so depressing, you know, my divorce. She goes, uh-huh, I know. She goes, okay. So I guess we'll talk about last night again, since you're not going to give me a lot of drama about my divorce.

21:26So let's go back to that thing.

21:28Ben Mandelker: As someone who's recently divorced from her insurance license, I completely understand. So Britt then is saying like, you know, I felt like last night, it was like mixed emotions because I just felt from some like, it's just different energies, I think. And I think, like, the part that was just, like, kind of weird is just, like, we've always been good. I like the dinner. Like, we were talking about donations. And I was like, wait a minute. Like, what's going on? So she says, yeah, you know, like, I mean, when we're around a group, like, you act like I'm a cheap bitch. Like, when I ask you multiple times, tell me what's it going to be about.

22:05Like, is it about donating or something else? And she's like, it is. It is about donating. And look, Shamia just wanted you to show up a little bit more, even at your event. You know, I mean, I took my entire team and, you know, especially when you say things like I took my entire real estate team to get plastic surgery, which I love the comparison. She's like, OK, everybody, send your kids to my office. I'm getting them all BBLs. She's got all these like kids walking around Grenada. They're like, I don't have a house, but I do have a very juicy ass.

22:38Ben Mandelker: yeah and this was like kelly's very nice way of saying if you're willing to give your staff bbls you should put in more than 250 and some like toilet paper for charity when you're on a tv show and we're all pulling up like you need to pull up as well that's our nice way of saying it like i just felt like you know what you did so of course like you know brit she says i feel like you know I really want you, I feel like there's a higher purpose for you, which is I think such a diplomatic way of saying it. And Brit's like Well, for me it's really not that complicated. I mean, I love that you're so giving and welcoming, but sometimes it's okay for it to just be like you can just be you, Kelly, and I feel like you use your team and your hair and your makeup as a shield.

23:23Ben Mandelker: So Brit is like turning this around on Kelly when Kelly's basically saying like you need to, like, you're on TV now, okay? and she's like okay well if you're gonna come for me i'm gonna come for you and be like you're fake and you have all this bullshit and it's to hide the fact that you're just a fake person yeah and i kind of get what she's saying because this kelly's telling her like we're on tv and like you need to show up more and she's like well we're on tv and you're doing too much so i may be doing too little bit you're doing too much and she's like well i don't know it's weird she's talking about my entourage but she kind of wants my entourage at the same time and britney's Britt's like, I don't need a whole team around.

24:03She goes, okay, okay. Then why did Britt host an entire meeting with my glam squad behind my back at her home? Dun, dun, dun.

24:13Ben Mandelker: You don't need a whole team. You literally hired like a fake butler for your catered lobster dinner at home. And you just literally got BBLs for your team, your actual insurance team. So you're definitely team oriented. You want people around you. So Kelly is like, you know, I just I don't mind extending my team until she could find one. But at the same time, it's like, damn, do you want my gynecologist, too? Yeah. And Brett's like, well, she was the one who let me work with her team. She was the one who suggested I work with her team. And then she told them that she doesn't want them working with me.

24:46She loaned you her team one time. As far as we've seen. I don't think that meant like, oh, my God, you should use the exact same glam team as me.

24:56Ben Mandelker: yeah and I think that she would be okay with it too if she if if you had a conversation with being like you know I love Paris um I think I'm I'm sort of I would love to keep working with him I think I'm gonna reach out and like hire him if that's cool with you and I'm sure Kelly would have been like that's great you know but like doing it behind the back feels kind of like poachy you know the thing that's funny is that neither of them look great to Paris is not a good stylist okay like i think anyone watching this show can agree that these two really don't look like they've been styled that well so they're fighting over some pretty bad styling i don't know why that cracked me up so much it's just like i wasn't expecting that paris was going to catch us straight from you in the middle of this but you might be right i don't think anybody's walking away from this season.

25:48Like, you know what? The outfits on Kelly and Brett, wow. Wow.

25:53Ben Mandelker: Well, it's also that loop of hair on Kelly's forehead. It's like the little roller coaster, the loop-de-loop. So, she's like, well, instead of allowing it to be a lesson in front of the whole group, like, I mean, you know, if you're aware of something with Shamia while you're building this relationship, then share it with your close friend, you know? And then we can get past it, which I kind of agree with her. I mean, Shamia had already gone out with her. They'd already had the discussion with Brit. Then, I mean, they've talked about it a million times, and Shamia was just trying it. Just like, okay, now we're all together, so I'll come for you about the charity again.

26:27So, I don't like Brit, but I think that was a little extra of them last week to come for again.

26:34Ben Mandelker: Normally, I would say Brit has a little bit of a point here, which is like, hey, Kelly, you know that Shamia is mad at me because I didn't donate enough. You should have given me a heads up, and I would have fixed it. but the thing is what we learned is that Shamia actually took Brit to lunch probably a free lunch at Houston at Houston and Shamia already told her so Kelly doesn't need to tell her on top of that like you should know and again I still stick by my own weird theory which is like you work in insurance so you should know how much things cost and like what's an appropriate amount to donate and like you should just be good with valuations so um now we see Portia and Angela go into the pool and they're just talking about how nice the pool is and everything.

27:16Ben Mandelker: And people start to join them. This is very much a people joining the group episode. We have a lot of like, hey, like people coming out one at a time to different locations. But like, you know, it's just what it is. It's a little bit of a filler episode, not going to lie. Yeah, and some of the girls went shopping, so they're all dressed the same. Shamia and Kelly, I guess, are wearing like matching swimsuits. and Angel's like, you all got so much time on your hands, twins I mean, come on now and then we see them Kelly and Britt wearing matching bright pink from two months ago she's like, that's what we do at our big age so they are, more people join it's shot o 'clock, shots and shots, and dressing the same and oh my god, more shots lots of shots I'm just sort of going through the notes because it's like shots, shots.

28:11Ben Mandelker: Everyone's joining. More shots. Portia and Drew are in a better place. Shamia love the energy. They're all talking about how great of sisters they are. They're all sisters now. They went to sisterhood, which I love when they say housewives because that just means they're all about to turn on each other in a grand finale. And they're all just like bonding. Like, guys, this is the best group ever. Now we've gotten to the worst part. The fighting is over. We can just be sisters, right? This is the best. And they're like, wait a second. Where's Brit? Oh, yeah, Brit's not here. They just don't even realize Brit's gone.

28:40Yeah. And they asked Kelly where she is. And she's like, I don't know. And they're like, oh, what's happening with Kelly and Brit? So now the chairman of the Granada Tourism Authority shows up.

28:51Ben Mandelker: Hmm. I'm talking about really being nice. I mean, they're just sending everybody out. They're rolling out the red carpet. They have like every every member of the government has come by. I mean, so we're going to have like the Agricultural Department here, Department of the Interior. it's great so um and and by the way on each one of these like officials is like very attractive and they're young so they're like wow that's like another portals is that another prime minister baby these ministers are fine out here in grenada oh yeah it's like nice to meet you and phaedra's like i'm a hugger come here yeah she goes in and hugs the another government official so so rick comes down and they introduce her to Randall.

29:36And so Kelly is like, oh, this is Randall. Randall's the one that helped with Hurricane Barrel making sure that we donated. So, Randall, do you have anything to say to Britt? Yeah. Do you have that bucket I gave you? Just hold it out to Britt. Hopefully she'll put some money in there.

29:53Ben Mandelker: Randall, if you had a pleasant time on the toilet this morning, you can thank Britt. She donated that toilet paper. Only that toilet paper. Oh, by the way, Britt, Beryl wanted to see if he could take you to the Houstons in Grenada to have a talk.

30:10Ben Mandelker: Beryl the Hurricane takes Britt to lunch. Beryl's like, look, when I'm a hurricane, it's just like it's in my nature. I destroy everything. And I rely on people like you to fill in the gaps after me. And if you don't do that, you're going to give me a bad name. Okay. Do you know how many BBLs I sucked up in the storm? So I'm going to need you to replenish. I am like people have like a really bad impression of me as a hurricane but what people don't realize is that I gave like three tornadoes a BBL. Okay? Because I care about my team. So later they're going to go to Jab Jab. So he leaves and Phaedra watches him walk off and she's like, I did date a wonderful man.

30:50He was bow legged. That was impressive. You don't see that anymore. I guess they all started drinking that vitamin D infused milk child. no one can get the rickets now

31:02Ben Mandelker: yeah and then they just Phaedra's all upset Phaedra's all upset that people don't have rickets anymore is that what bow-legged is I don't know what causes I don't know what the fuck she's talking about half the time but I laugh 90 % of the time that she talks I do know that some people really are attracted to men who are bow-legged I don't know what the story is I don't know why is that hot why i i'm not opposed to it but i just don't understand why that's like hot versus like muscles you know okay rick it's a bone growth disorder caused by vitamin d or calcium deficiency can lead to bow legs wow you see you see what phaedra teaches us um i have knock knees so that's why i am into bow legged guys because it's like the other side you know it's the other yards the grass is always greener the knees are always less knockier yeah yeah i don't know but people really like um they're into bow like i i had a friend once who's bow-legged and this other guy came up to me he's like yeah those bow-legged i love that bow-legged man i was like what i was like i don't quite like i'm not taking it away i just don't i didn't i don't understand like it's not something that ever like was on my checklists so it's like a weird thing i'm like really i don't think i'm i also don't think i have a very good bowlegged dar i'm really bad at seeing i would have a hard time seeing if someone's bowlegged it's weird um no you can see because it's not just a thigh gap it's like a thigh um arch yeah a thigh is it like a vagina like it's a thigh yeah is it because it kind of looks like you're riding a horse and so maybe that's what makes it hot yeah like a cowboy thing i don't know i don't know what it is it's just hot I was just like, cause I don't like my knock knees, you know?

32:51Um, so I'm like, what did you do that? Jesus loves you. And I'm not going to eat your bow legged. So, um, yeah. So they're talking about jib, uh, jib jab. So rude. They're talking about jab, jab now and explaining what it is and stuff. And they have to wear, um, oil all over their bodies and jab, jab horns. And it's a form of protest. And it normally starts at 6 a.m. And they're going to do it at night for the ladies, which is wise. It's wise. It's going to be much better.

33:22Ben Mandelker: Big thing. Yeah. Big jab jab thing. So and then meanwhile, Drew and Shamia are talking. And actually, sorry, Kelly and Drew are talking. And they're realizing they have the same wedding anniversary. and on top of that they've been married for about the same amount of time and on top of that they're both divorcing isn't that crazy like oh my god the same wedding anniversary that's crazy um so um peter goes that's not a good sign versus like yeah because they're both in the same boat um so and vader goes yeah and the boat sunk there was a man with rickets on that boat i fucked that man with rickets on a boat well every boat does have a bow bow wordplay would have been better if it was written because they are pronounced differently in person so then uh drew is saying that she was actually planning on doing a vow renewal um which i'm like okay so drew you did cause the divorce because you said vow renewal and now you precipitated the end of your marriage.

34:34Ben Mandelker: Congratulations. I'm just glad she actually, for once the order was proper, which is the divorce before the vow renewal, as opposed to the vow renewal and then the divorce a year later. Yeah. So they talk about their divorces on board. So then Portia's like, okay, you guys, I'll be right back. I have something very exciting to show you. This is an amazing moment of Portia being a good person because I'm the kind of friend that if you're going through something, I want you to feel good about yourself. and that's why I'm letting Shamia wear my Snuffleupagus hat. Okay. He literally says that. She's like, I'm letting her wear my hat and taking a photo of her.

35:09Wow.

35:11Ben Mandelker: You know what? She really does show up as a friend sometimes. She really does. You basically are the charity in Grenada. Somebody give Brent her toilet paper back. Horses won this one. So they have this little photo shoot thing and it's, you know, it's nice it's you know it's fine and now we have Kelly she's in her room and she's calling Bobby her divorce lawyer and she's just talking about like how this is going she's overwhelmed you know and she talks about how going through a divorce is one of the most difficult things you ever have to do aside from cleaning a waffle iron very very difficult but you know she's like I hate that it's come to Grenada with me because the purpose of me coming here is to reset and have my moment but then again it's also my only storyline that i've got going on and i have to keep my storylines going through this vacation so oh well yeah so um she's telling the lawyer so yeah and also we build a we bought a a lot to build a home and it was an anniversary gift that he technically gifted me but then i heard he sold that lot to the friend to a friend and the lawyer's like um well do you have a deed for the lot like can we see who owns it now and she's like well he gave me the document and like a card but I don't know like I don't even know where the paperwork is so I don't know now there's lots missing and did he buy that with her money was that a gift with her money is there not a docusign in the cloud somewhere come on so then Kelly is like she's saying how he's not making it easy on her and she just she does a really good job of hiding it because she doesn't want her kids to ever honestly I didn't really listen to this scene I'm going to say because it's been the same scene for like the whole season.

36:56Ben Mandelker: I want to see her make I've had enough divorce. Yeah. I know divorces don't happen in five minutes, but I don't need them talked about 45 minutes out of every episode. I'm done with your divorce. Okay. It's an off camera drama with someone I don't know and I've never met and I don't care about. So I just know you're going to divorce. My heart goes out for you. This cannot be your A story. Okay. I'm telling you it truly, I truly want to watch her make waffles. I'm not just saying this because, oh, I got a waffle iron it's like i literally was what i would literally prefer to watch her making waffles in her restaurant than i would listening about this divorce one also in this episode we're getting a little bit of the stylist thing but they're not confronting each other about it it's like they're both brit and kelly are both it's like they agreed to not come for each other about this stylist thing so they're talking their way around it and you guys are too new to be doing that shit you know what i mean yeah that's like housewives fifth season when you're trying to hide storylines and you've agreed to keep certain things off camera and blah, blah, blah.

37:58And your first season, and that's not a good sign that you guys are already hiding storylines. I don't like it.

38:03Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And now I have to think about your divorce this whole time. You guys keep repeating the same old bullshit over and over instead of talking about what's really going on. And I think that that's not great. It's not a great sign for a reboot, you know? Well, while Kelly tries to keep a storyline in the dark, something has come forward from the ether. Shamia's luggage, it has returned. Shamia finally got her luggage and she's like, yes, I finally have my looks again. And so she puts on these boots and she's ready for jab jab. And they're like, yeah, you can't wear that. I was like, she waited an entire vacation to finally be able to wear her own clothes.

38:39Ben Mandelker: They're like, no, don't wear that to the don't wear that to the jab jabs. Yeah, because they're going to be they have to be throwaway clothes, you know, they're going to be covered in oil and boots. Yeah, and Britt's like, I mean, any clothes you have to throw away, like the shoes are done no matter what you do. And Phaedra's like, I know you're rich. You're very, very wealthy. Now, go change. She's like, okay. You've proven your point. Get out of these Chanel wellies and put on some boots from Marshalls, okay? Yeah. Cynthia is FaceTiming with Amsterdam, which is her man. And she's showing that she's made like little condoms for her braids.

39:24Ben Mandelker: She's had them like in, in like fabric. So that way they are protected from the oil, which is funny. They're like little, little, like like little, little elephant trunks in the, in their bags. And Amsterdam's like, wow, great. So now, now everybody's making like little videos for jab, jab and Insta posts and stuff like that. And then it's time to get on the bus. And go to Jab Jab. So now we're with Shamiya, Cynthia, Drew, and Angela in one car. And it's shot o 'clock. It's shot o 'clock. Shamiya, it's shot o 'clock. It's always shot o 'clock with Shamiya. I think I'm done with shot o 'clock. I think time is up for shot o 'clock.

40:09Ben Mandelker: I just realized. It's time for our divorce storyline. Shot o 'clock is over. It's officially dead. I never would have noticed it except that when she said that shot o 'clock is her thing that's of course put it on my radar and I'm like okay your shot o 'clock has 15 minutes of fame for me and now shot o 'clock has expired so Kelly's got horns on and Portia's like you're single and those are haters you know like those men don't come close you know and we're single okay and Phaedra's like those are cock blockers I wouldn't wear those horns and Kelly's like um Jab-Jab is going to be the liberation that the doctors ordered for me because divorce is really hard.

40:50I've been going through a divorce. It's been so difficult. I hope that Jab-Jab can liberate me from divorce. Girl.

40:57Ben Mandelker: I want to pour some oil on this divorce storyline right now. We send it off. Send it off to the ocean. So they're all talking about how, like, oh, my God, I want my man to be obsessed with me. I want him to, like, touch me and kiss me and give me gifts. and then Phaedra's saying she doesn't like people touching her toes and yada yada. They're just talking about guys and they're just horned up because they're about to see a whole bunch of hot Caribbean men covered in shiny oil. So they're ready. They're ready to get their lady boners on. Yeah, so then Shamia's in her car recording a selfie video with all the ladies and she's like, this is what eight years of marriage look like.

41:39oh my gosh I'm right behind her with the seven years they want to be scooped up by some men I hope that they can get some men meanwhile Portia's like fucking feet right like I had a guy who dated feet like you ever tried to jerk off somebody with your feet okay just go to Jab Jab so now we go to this festival that's crazy it looks so fun it really does and they really do

42:05Ben Mandelker: cover themselves in black oil and they it was actually like it was actually visually amazing because everyone's in this like shiny dark black oil but then it's like night and so there's like these sort of neon highlights everywhere shining off of everyone and it was kind of like it felt like bacchanalia and it looked it kind of looked like the sort of thing where you know i don't like to get myself dirty but sometimes you sort of when you give yourself over and you're like fuck it i'm just covered in oil like that it It looked great. But man, I also can't. I feel so bad for all the taxis on Grenada.

42:41Ben Mandelker: There's a lot of dirty, oily seats. A lot of taxis got ruined that night. Yeah, a lot of hotel rooms. We see it covering the hotel room the next day. It's everywhere. The service industry must not like Jab Jab. They're like, oh, fuck. Pre-order the bleach. Yeah, so Portia and Phaedra dance with the same man. And Phaedra's like, I'm Christian. Oh my God, I'm pregnant. We got the same baby daddy. Got us all pregnant. And she's like, wow, thank God I got my ring in. Gosh, he's a devil's minion, that man. Yeah, it's really, they're really going all in, you know? And so there's party, party, party.

43:20Ben Mandelker: Jab, jab, jab, jab, jab. Lots of jab, jab. And then finally they leave. And so now it's the next day. And we see like all like their jab, jab outfits that just in little piles around. We see Portia's Jab Jab butt print on the wall. We see like soiled sheets. That's a lot of cleanup. Yeah, that's a lot. So now they're packing to go. And Cynthia has an electric blanket because she gets cold. And wait, who has an electric? Someone does. And Cynthia's like, in Grenada, you need an electric blanket. So Britt's like, okay, let's go. Anybody have the Jab Jab hats? basically, look, let me tell you something about this episode, audience.

44:02It was really fun to watch, but literally nothing happened.

44:05Ben Mandelker: Nothing happened. Like, we were literally sitting here like, we're not hating on it. I'm trying to go through your notes until something happens, but nothing happened. But it was a good, it was a fun episode to watch. Fun episode. Like, I was cracking up the entire time, but yeah, nothing really happened. Yeah, so now they're laughing about how they, the cleanup, like some ladies cleaned up better than other ladies from the oil, because there's still oil everywhere. And Britt's like, well, Well, I mean, I see these ladies that clearly you do not shower properly. I mean, and Faye goes, oh, yeah, Britt came to my room.

44:34You know how after you have your baby, the midwife comes in and scrubs your back and just gives you that little bath? That's how she was scrubbing me. I scrub every inch of her body. I felt like I had a baby. I was like, bend over, spread your cheeks. You're going to feel violated.

44:52Ben Mandelker: That sounds intense. I just love Brit saying like some of these ladies don't know how to shower properly I love when Brit attempts to like make herself seem like she is a proper lady and everyone else is just like garbage like when she was like I don't do shots that's for like sluts in college okay I know how to shower properly oh settle down Brit so they talk about getting the oil off and stuff like that and now let's talk about Kelly's divorce So Drew's like, so how'd the meeting with your attorney go? And so she's like, well, yeah, I had to talk to my attorney because I'm getting a divorce.

45:31It's very painful. It's a divorce. So that's rough. And she's like, you know, guys, look how bad my divorce is. It broke the talking crystal.

45:45Ben Mandelker: Yes. I stood up and the crystal broke in half. and she holds it up and they're like, oh, oh my God. Like, what does that symbolize? Well, I Googled it because I was so upset and it symbolizes the end of a relationship. And they're like, oh my God. I'm like, you realize this is the end of a relationship with Brit. This is not the end of a relationship with the ex because that relationship is over. This is the Brit symbol here. Yeah, you already knew about the other one. Yes. So she's like, I'm going to throw this crystal in the ocean. so help me release this crystal so they got littered together which is really nice and Kelly's like you know I'm just going to leave all this anxiety and everything pertaining to court in Grenada I wouldn't because you got court like next week yeah it's not going to stay in Grenada it's coming back and then she's like I just pray that when we get back to Atlanta we can continue the sisterhood I'm like, you're on The Real Housewives.

46:47Ben Mandelker: Bravo, we'll not let that happen. And then we see 72 hours later, Kelly goes, guys, I'm not divorced. I'm like, yeah, no shit. Of course you weren't divorced. There you just entered new evidence into this thing about him selling the land. Of course you're not divorced. And he went to jail today, she adds. What the hell? But we don't find out why. And then we see a fast forward. And Angela's asking Kelly how she is with Brit. and she's like, I haven't spoken with Brit since Grenada. Fast forward, fast forward. She showed me text messages between the two of you guys and then cuts to Phaedra in her car and she's like, well, just hold on to your panties.

47:26Some man had word for Angela. Your husband is cheating. Dun, dun, dun. We just see Mimosa humping a pillow in the background.

47:36Ben Mandelker: And then we come back to Grenada and they're like, yay, sisterhood. Crystal's been thrown in the ocean. Yay. so that trip is over wasn't the most thrilling trip but you know it was a funny episode and now we have the home stretch before some sort of crazy event wherein they accused Charles Oakley of cheating at some gala and Angela gets mad so we you know it's a slow march to that and that was the episode alright everybody thanks so much for being here we'll see you guys Thursday night in Los Angeles and we'll talk to you next time bye watch what crappens would like to thank it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like alice and king our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster she can run my country it's angie mcgovern it's always automatic with ashley auto put your hands together for carly clap get on the right foot with chrissy offutt we never miss her call it's diane call aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no trickle us Hava Nagila Weber You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie She has no less namey She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock She gets an A, it's Kelly B Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be Will Lauren Sills be Brigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D.

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