#2907 Below Deck S12E05: Curl, Interrupted

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1:22Watch what crappens. Watch what crappens. Watch what crappens.

1:27Ben Mandelker: Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? It's so funny. Watch what crappens. Watch what crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is the glorious and joyful Ronnie Karam. hi ronnie how's it going hi so good oh how are you i am so good um we are here today to talk below deck and just an fyi we are taking next monday off so uh or next and next tuesday so we won't have a below deck uh recap next week but um we'll be back with blow deck in two weeks but just give me that heads up so you're not like wait where's the blow deck recap Also, we're not going to have Miami this week.

2:20So I guess we should announce that now. So people aren't like, where's Miami? What the hell? There will be no Miami this week. You know, it sucks to take shows off. We don't even like doing it. We're like, how are we going to take a break but still do all the seven shows or eight shows or whatever we're doing? We're not. We're just going to cut some.

2:36Ben Mandelker: Unfortunately, part of taking a break is taking a break. And unfortunately, Miami is, yeah, we're not going to record on Thursday. So we're sorry. And we hate to do it to Miami. because we want to just support Miami with all our heart. But we'll check in next week and sort of catch everyone up with what we missed, etc. But yeah, so that's the news about Below Deck. And, you know, come join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what crap happens to watch on video. Hi, crap is on demand. So let's figure out what I've done to my shaving. I'm trying to figure out how to shave a beard and I can't shave it, right?

3:11So then I ended up having to shave it off because it was all uneven. But then I just use like a reg, like not a blade, but like a shaver and then i left some long hairs that are hitting my lip and they're making me

3:21Ben Mandelker: freaking crazy maybe you should go to a barber and like no tips i'm not gonna do that because i'm an i'm a bald person and one good thing about being bald is not having to pay barbers i'm gonna watch it it's a one-time a one-time barber things that way teach a man to fish teach a man to fish you know don't just buy the fish learn to fish with your beard okay get a professional to show you how to make a nice beard and then you can always make yourself a nice beard i'm finding a professional on tiktok that's where i get my therapy now that's where i'm gonna get my um my hair trimming stuff i don't know i tried to learn how to give myself a fade on tiktok and youtube and it did not work so you know but you know beard is much more manageable yeah beard is much more manageable than doing a fade in a mirror like when you're like looking behind your head and trying to like fade things and blend and you're like i don't know what i'm doing yeah that's a lot yeah it's hard um anyway it's below deck okay and also love island is over on patreon as well as our videos okay let's get into it okay previously yes kyle is having trouble managing his team okay You know what?

4:31Frank and Fraser and Damo kissed. And so did Carl and Selene. Okay? Everybody's kissing. That's it. This is going on. A lot of kissing.

4:41Ben Mandelker: A lot of kissing. So for those people who are interested in that, I'm excited for you because you're getting a lot of great content. For people like me who just like to see people struggling with their jobs, a little disappointed. I feel like we're just fast forwarding over chargers now. This is the second charter in a row that they just zipped over an entire day. I mean, these are not the most compelling guests. but um why are we spending so much time watching kyle and selaine flirt when we could be watching rainbow having another meltdown about streaks on a mirror like i don't understand why they're doing this to me well it's so weird that you feel like that because you love love island so much you know but i guess that show knows its lane you know that's what yeah i'm tuning in when i tune in for love island i'm tuning in for love island content when i tune in for below deck i'm tuning in for windex content and i'm getting love island content yeah it's not right maids fighting not making out okay yes so um selene is like oh very good jacuzzi last night i told you how do you want to bed i do bed how you want you tell me how you want babe so good and kyle's like good but it could have been better and kyle's saying oh it's been a year since i've been disinterested you know why it's been a year because here's what kyle does in his downtime he goes to a bar in a kilt and gets shit faced and possibly makes out with other dudes That's all he does.

6:02He's a fall-down alcoholic. The only time he's sober enough to even flirt with a girl is when he's filming this show.

6:08Ben Mandelker: That's correct. So then Kerry is like, good morning. All right, we're going to leave at 10 a.m. sharp for brunch because don't forget, I'm taking you all to brunch because the guys didn't pay you any tip money. So I'm going to get some French toast and some eggs to make up for the$300 that you didn't get. so Fraser's like oh Damo I just remembered we made that last night you did not just remember okay you still got your penis in your hand from last night and he's like oh yeah yeah it was a patch we had a patch last night and he's like oh but I told my boyfriend I wouldn't do that okay do you even believe he has a boyfriend I don't no I think he's lying does it even count if it's five you've seen each other five days in a year no that's not right do I think I cheated absolutely not.

6:56Ben Mandelker: It would not bother me if my boyfriend was like to make out with one of the straight man friends. I mean, if it was another gay man, fine. I get it. Because I would be the one who's most disgusting in that trio there. But it wouldn't be that cool. It wouldn't be cool. That said, my boyfriend and I's schedules haven't been compatible. And it's been a bit tough. So then we see Selene fall down the stairs for the third time this season. I don't know. I don't understand why she has so much trouble just doing the last five stairs like normal stairs. Like, why does she just feel the need to throw herself off the staircase into the wall every single time she goes down that staircase also why are her ankles made out of like rubber and she never gets hurt when i hurt my back like literally sitting down the other day i sat down to watch tv and i was like out my back and i also want to know how selaine's ankles are made out of rubber and she doesn't ever get hurt like i hurt myself literally sitting down to go to the bathroom like two weeks i sat down i was like i'm back and it's been hurting for two weeks and meanwhile this dumb ass is like flinging herself downstairs and she's fine what the hell yeah i just i don't understand why she can't just go down those last four or five stairs like a normal human being like i don't know why she flings herself off and into that hallway wall every single time i just don't know like she's just so eager to get off the staircase that she's like i'm willing to risk paralysis just to get off these steps.

8:21But those are spiral staircases, right? That's a spiral staircase, right? It is, but like... Because that's what it is. Because I used to have one of those and I slept in like the little loft and everyone was like, don't do that, Ronnie. You're going to fall. And I was like, no, I'm not. If I have to pee in the middle of the night, you just come down the... It's easy. It's like a little staircase. I slid down that thing every fucking day because, you know, it doesn't make any sense. It's like going in a curve and then I would slide down and I don't know.

8:51Ben Mandelker: I was raised with a spiral staircase. We have a little loft in this house and that was where the TV was. And I would go for maybe 30, 40 years, I went up and down that spiral staircase without any issue. And, but I also feel like, I don't know if this is, I don't know if this is a correct assumption, but I feel like because Selene is French, she should be extra good at a spiral staircase. I feel like it just feels like something that French people are really good at. Like, I feel like there's a lot of cathedrals in France that probably have a lot of spiral staircases going up the spires. I just think it's in French blood to be able to do a spiral staircase.

9:23Or uneven streets. Yeah, I feel like you're right. French people should have a stronger gait than the rest of us.

9:30Ben Mandelker: French people should just really know how to do a spiral staircase. I think it's just part of their DNA. Yeah, I agree. Get it together, French people. I'm literally embarrassed for you. French people are great. It's Céline who's not living up to her heritage. like it's like her saying like I can't really tell the difference between cheeses or you know wine is like whatever to me like are you even French if you don't like cheese, wine or spiral staircases yeah yeah just give up your citizenship already Solaine so I don't know what they call it in France I'm guessing it's not ice because they don't like giving you ice right but just get rid of your citizenship Solaine okay if you can't come down the spiral staircase you're done here so damo is telling us that uh they're because they're going tost bars for brunch so he's talking about how uh it's super ritzy and like he's like but don't worry he's like i he's like i don't need to dress like a wanker to be a wanker here um i'm like yeah i wouldn't be too worried about how you're dressing based on what everyone else is wearing including ko who's like in just like a stringy tank top and then no one is expecting anything from the men on below deck trust the women go like they're being nominated for an oscar award every time they go out to eat and the men just go in board shorts, you know, in a stained t-shirt and that's it.

10:48Ben Mandelker: I also like, I'm going to pull out my calculator for this because I need to do a, I need to do a last minute calculation to make this, this point here. So the, the gays tipped, um, what, like 19 ,000, right? Which is like 20, it was like$10 short of 20. Okay. Well, I'm going to say 19 ,000. Um, and like this, this episode, they got tipped around 28 ,000. So 28 ,000. So that's, that's basically like a$10 ,000 difference,$10 ,000 divided by how many people? About nine people. That's about everyone missed out on about a thousand dollars worth of revenue. So I just love that's like, well, you all didn't get a thousand dollars worth of tip money, but you're going to, you're going to get a free omelet.

11:29Ben Mandelker: Enjoy. That's basically what this brunch is about. We're making it up to you with an egg and a bagel. So, but it's in St. Bart's. So it's a fancy egg So Fraser You know Really leaning into being a good leader He's like Alright Why don't we go around the table And say one thing we hate about each other Go Okay I'll start I'll start with everybody And my answer is everything Alright Selene Go ahead Wait I'd like to add something You're absolutely disgusting You're hideous I don't even know why you're here I can't even bear to look at you Okay that was for me Now everyone else go on It's your turn so selene points to barbara and she goes you you so bitch you so bitch and she's like no i don't hate anything about you and i love that these two found a friendship i don't know where i love it where did it where did it happen they were bickering so much then suddenly they like love each other and rainbow's just like watching and she's like jealous because rainbow doesn't know how to connect other women or other people or vacuum cleaners and she's like well i personally find it hard to connect with girls in general because all I want to do is just grab them by the hair and just slam them into some dirt on an island in the middle of Holland.

12:43Ben Mandelker: So connecting with these girls is just kind of tricky. It's just like a little triggering because I've had two older sisters and we all volunteered as tribute that one time and we heard the cannon go off and we're like, okay. And I had to slur her throat, but that's just what you have to do. We win the trophy, right? Yeah, it really does hurt a little bit on the inside mostly because my sisters would knee me in the ribs so I wouldn't get bruised. so yeah it hurts everything affects me i'm just trying not to let it show does it show it does show and any girl who says they can't get along with other girls i'm on the other girl's side yeah so automatically on the side of your sisters because yeah the other girls are not the problem on this boat ma 'am you are now that's being said you're not even that much of a problem rainbow i like rainbow she's actually yeah i think rainbow's kind of cool you know she's just her dad may fight her sisters in like a cage fight you know what do you expect from her yeah she just i think she's in her head too much but like how do i relate to other women and we see her over the course of the episode trying to apply techniques she's seen on like tv like oh i noticed that this person behaves in this way so i will behave in that way she's sort of like robotic like this should work yeah it's like very dexter like serial killer like kind of mimicking uh normal behaviors or whatever she considers to be normal behaviors.

13:59Yeah, she does a lot of like, oh my god, girl, can I just hug you and give you kisses? Which, you know, if you're watching Love Island, that's what they do. But if you're watching, I don't know, Orange is the New Black, that's not what they do. And she's more Orange is the New Black.

14:13Ben Mandelker: Well, it's just like her attempts at like girly affection towards her lady friends is not really earned. She just sort of declares it like, oh my god. And the other person's like, we don't have that relationship so this is weird you know yeah she's trying to be like fun girly but it comes off as like sexual harassment in the workplace a little bit yeah yeah um and her name is rainbow spelled wrong so it's like it makes it worse you know it's like i got you know i got touched by my boss rain be out you know it's like you're not gonna it's not gonna hold up well in court is what i'm saying you're just everybody's gonna be confused they're gonna put you in jail for spelling your name wrong.

14:53Ben Mandelker: Yeah. That's the worst kind of jail. With the side of sexual harassment. Spelling jail. Well, I mean, Celine's going to spiral staircase jail, so a lot of turbofades. No one would convict Celine of anything, and that's the thing that I think makes people like Rainbow crazy. It's like, how does she get away with it? You know, her eyebrows are weird, and nobody says anything to her, but Rainbow just has, like, a certain je ne sais quoi. Yeah. So Rainbow asks Keau about his family, and he's like, oh, well, my sister's in Spain and my dad is moving to Spain because Brazil's a fucking jungle, man. And they're like, really?

15:27Ben Mandelker: He's like, yeah, I mean, if you're a tourist, it's the best fucking country in the world. But if you're a citizen, it's shit. And then the tile of photos comes up and it's a chaos segment. And he's like, social time is the last thing on my mind right now. The job is not flowing yet, but adjusting to the style that we have on this boat with the captain, there's just like a long way to go. And my job is just on the line and I really care about it. It's a stressing time. Hair, hair, hair. Hair, hair, hair. And then we just go back to the brunch. I don't understand. Squint into the camera. Squint.

15:54Hair, hair, hair, hair.

15:55Ben Mandelker: I think I'm going to need the post-production department just to chillax a little bit. I'm like all these. Anytime someone speaks, if I think they bring up this, all these photos and the big thing on my screen that's like KO. And then they speak for three seconds and then we go back to the scene. It just is so over the top. I think we can just go back to the way it used to be, which is that people just talk normally. I think this is too much. I'm trying too hard to make it seem exciting. I think if you have people with more fascinating Instagrams, it would be okay. But this is like the Below Deck cast and their Instagram.

16:27It's like, wow, Kyle in board shorts. Wow, Kyle in board shorts again. Oh my God, you guys, it's Kyle on a cliff in board shorts. You guys, it's Kyle looking. It's Kyle squinting with hair. Hair.

16:40Ben Mandelker: I also don't understand how every time they talk about their childhood, we see photos of them when they were like four years old. And it always looks like it's 1973. I'm like, half these people were born in like 2001, 2002. Why are the photos such poor quality? You guys were born when the iPhone like 12 was out. I don't even want to hear it from you. Although I do blame that on fucking Instagram filtering. Cause you remember when everybody used to use filters on every pic to make it look like it was 1970. And it had like an automatic frame on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's ridiculous. These photos.

17:13Ben Mandelker: I'm looking at a picture of my grandma Sally over here, and that was taken in 1948, and it's better quality than half the below deck pictures. I swear to god. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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19:14Ben Mandelker: So Fraser's like, so guys, did we have fun last night? And Damon's like, I had a great time. I can imagine. Wait, I just remembered that we had a fun time. I definitely was not thinking about it all this time. And Barbara's like, yeah, you guys should kiss again just for safety. He's like, I'll do that. If I'm ever on the phone to my boyfriend though, we don't mention it because baby girls, baby boys, are we ready to go? That's why. Just don't mention it. We're going to go because mommy's ready to spendy spendy. So they go do some high-end shopping, and Carrie's like, crew, we're going to try to make a three o 'clock bridge.

19:48We got a double time. I want marching. I want ducks. I want ropes that come out of boats with hefty things at the end in case we crash into things. You got it? I want adventure. all right we got to hit the ground running we're swimming well if we're swimming i guess we're fucked aren't we if we're swimming we're gonna hit the water running but we're gonna be hitting

20:12Ben Mandelker: the water swimming but you can't be swimming right now so you should be at the water building you get what i mean i'm getting lost in the metaphor anyway uh ko you've got something to say and he's like yes can uh can they're all back on the boat he's like uh can uh can we bring everything in there can i bring the tender in yeah i mean dude that's what i said downstairs remember i said bring the tender in we don't have time to be discussing things three times okay hey, let's roll, let's roll, let's roll. Damn it, I did it three times again. So, Selene is talking to Fraser, and she's like, oh, can I tell you something?

20:38I kissed, I kissed a silly yesterday, but when we were kissing, I felt a, and she hits a big flashlight that's hanging on the wall. And she's like, so now I feel, oh,

20:54Ben Mandelker: so now you want his dick, is basically what you're trying to say to me. That's a yes, is it? And she's like, oui, oui, oui, bonjour. He's like, okay, cast off, slut. Go to work and never come back. So then Anchor is rising, and we're going to Sandalteam. And so Rainbow is trying this, like, super nice girly thing now, which we were talking about earlier with Solane. She's like, um, do you have any questions, my love? And she's like, no. Can I have a hug? Can I just have a hug from you? She's like, okay, I hug you. Okay, you are hugging very hard, very hard. You're hurting me very hard now. You're hurting me.

21:32I cannot breathe. Oh, my God. I'm suffocating in French. I'm suffocating in French.

21:39Ben Mandelker: I'm just feeling so alone, sort of like how I sat on that little island in the lake for three days waiting for my father to fetch me while my sister's dying corpse was at my knees. And I can just get very emotional. And I know that about myself. I think I'm just like a hard person. and then they show flashbacks of her going nuts, culminating, of course, in the clip they're going to show all season, which is her having a patent attack with the vacuum. I mean, you can't really control how other people feel about you, so you just got to keep on trying and I'm just doing my best. And Selene's not falling for it.

22:13She's like, eat this fake, eat this fake. I don't like. So she's, Rainbow's like, okay, Selene, I just need the fitted sheet. The elastic, is this the elastic sheet? The fitted one. The one with the make circle, which one is this fitted? How does it fit like that? Who makes frying on for sheet? Does it do it itself? Do beds change size or why they need to size the fitted? Why you need to measure a bed? It's the fitted sheet.

22:47Ben Mandelker: It's the fitted sheet, Zalane. Just get the fitted sheet, please. Fitted? Fitted. Fitted. Fitted sheet Fatted sheet Fatted sheet It's a sheet that fits on things I don't like She called sheet fat She called sheet fat I don't like it, you do it You do it fat shame off sheet I'm done here Goodbye Fettuccine That makes you fat The sheet made fettuccine so she literally says fettuccine and remember i was like fettuccine she's like yes or no have it or no have it or no you have fettuccine or no why are we why are we talking you got fettuccine put fettuccine for me all right all right everyone we're gonna approach the worst bridge in the entire world so everyone get ready we're gonna put some fenders out which is a pretty standard practice you know i don't think anyone ever really misses up it's just fenders fenders go off the side of the boat.

23:47Ben Mandelker: I think I've been watching a lot of Below Deck, and I don't think in any season no one has ever messed up the simple rule of putting a fender out on the side of the boat. Okay, let's get through this. This is so funny. They just kind of put one fender a little bit over. Are you working on the bangs of the boat? Are we trying to style this now? It's like a small little braid. It's like when the fenders come out, it's like they do little braids on the boat. You know, I remember in middle school, the white girls would always go off to the Caribbean, and they come back after spring break. They don't have their braids.

24:17Ben Mandelker: I'm like, oh my God, I want to take a ride down. And it's like, that's what happens to the boat when they go through the, when they put the fenders out, like it comes up with braids, like it went on spring break. And then, but this case, they did like the one little small braid. Like it wasn't as long as the others. And it's like, okay, whatever. I didn't get to go on that trip because, you know, I didn't have the money. And also I was working at the bowling alley at the time because of child labor. But my friend came back with those braids and she's like, do you want me to do them for you? because I learned how to do them in St.

24:45John. And I was like, yeah, fuck yeah. Because I had long hair at the time. And so she did my braids like that. And she used these big colored rubber bands on my hair. And my mom would not go to a restaurant with me. She's like, you're staying in the car. You look idiotic. I refuse to take you out in public until you take those things out.

25:09Ben Mandelker: Oh my God. You're like, my name's Emily now. Like what? well i got braids on spring i'm really into tent living and my dream is to start a theater in a tent on saint john which i've never been to but i've heard is amazing so we work for tips basically so so now they're approaching this bridge and it's the usual chaos because no one's communicating and carrie's losing his mind like everyone get the position all right all right i gotta swing okay watch my swing okay okay watch my swing watch my swing and care's like what did he say Watch my swing I need you to talk on the radio Say something And Keo's like My name is Luca No Keo I live on the second floor Keo come on What's our distance I live upstairs from you Keo call a distance I guess you've never seen me before Yeah Keo Enough Susan Vega Get to work So then he's like Oh could you repeat that please Captain and he's like, oh, fucking idiot.

26:11Ben Mandelker: I'm turning the boat, okay? I need you to come watch my swing. What's my project? What's my projected swing KO? And Fraser just looks out the window and he's like, well, this is not going very well, is it? Like, we're doing, we're doing, we're about to hit the dock. And he's like, 20 meters to the dock. I mean, two meters. I mean, one meter, 0.5, smurf. And then Kerry's like, wait a second, what's this fender doing here it's not the right height why like the fender's just like at the top it's just like on the edge like hasn't even gone over it the heaven is like i'm sorry i'm just like not really comfortable going over the side of this boat right now why have we got tiny bangs on the fender why have we got tiny bangs on the boat come on someone fix the goddamn bangs on the fender you cannot just grow out bangs listen listen what i say is this boat needs to have fender bangs like it's a burlesque dancer okay severe and long get to it so um that was a fuck up but they made it you know they made it so all right kio kio get over here we've got to talk alone there's some things that happened here and they were on you mate now listen i don't care if your name is luca i don't care if you're from the second floor you gotta pay attention all right he's like um okay and kyo just gives him that squinty confused look it's like eyes are squinting but wide open he's looking around like i'm nodding my hair at you so consider yourself hair nodded now i shouldn't have to ask three times what the fuck's going on behind one this well all right well i'll say it again i shouldn't have to ask three times for what the fuck's going on but what i'm trying to say is i shouldn't have to ask three times i got it fender fender fender i got it This fender here was sitting too high.

27:59Ben Mandelker: So if I were to smack that dock with the fender up, it would have been my fault. So your fault. So my fault. And my fault's your fault. And then a lot of other people's faults. And guess what? San Andreas' fault? My fault. So I've got to have someone in place that doesn't make errors like that, okay? And because you're so inept and you're so terrible and you're so clearly not supposed to be on this boat, I'm going to give you one more chance. One more charter. And my eyes are going to be on you. um thank you so much i just wanted to say one thing before i go 20 meters 20 meters all right all right it's a little bit too late mate we got the bridge all right all right safety is first all right period all right i want period safety if you're on your period please be near a floating device that's it he's got one last chance of going into this charter he's got to pull a rabbit out of the hat to stay in the vessel.

28:55Ben Mandelker: No, I didn't mean that literally. You could put the actual, I don't know where you got that rabbit from, K.O. It's the one time you actually do the thing that I said. Laura is sitting somewhere watching this at home like, oh, finally, my skills are appreciated. A true magician in a bunny costume. Lil is watching also from somewhere on Long Island being like, ah. So I wanted to be able to do that trick. Pull back to Summer House Lil. Anyway, so K.O. was like okay everyone so i just spoke to cap and we need to think that what we can do better and i need you guys to use your brains and like not just follow orders okay so that fender that one was high who suggested that they're like jess is like me okay okay i was okay with it because of the bridge it makes sense but then like you would have to lower it so and if i wasn't for that like it wouldn't have happened so like you have to be better because i'm the one who's like getting yelled at right now yeah but it wasn't only the fender sir like you had him hitting the dock that's not good i mean come on it's not all jess although i still don't understand the high fender and so jess is mad now she's like this is bullshit i'm tired of chaos spreading the blame on everybody else because like what you see from a leader you know you want them to take responsibility i'm sorry what kind of leaders have you grown up around because i've never seen leaders take responsibility for shit the whole point of being a leader is to blame other people yeah exactly do Do you have American news where you are?

30:18No. I was like, should I take it there?

30:21Ben Mandelker: Should I be political? I mean, just in general, it doesn't even matter what side you're on. I mean, just in general, the whole point in leading the country is to blame somebody else for whatever is going on, you know? So now it's time for the preference sheet meetings. So Kerry's like, all right, everyone, we've got a family coming on board, a husband, a wife, two adult sons, primary brother coming. And I'll just tell you this right now. they're so boring. We're going to fast forward over most of their charter again. Two in a row. All right. You ready for this? I'd like to announce this. Ronnie sat down, watched this eagle-eyed, even took a few notes, does not remember one person from this family.

30:58Right. So good luck.

31:00Ben Mandelker: Jack Finn is our primary. Oh, wait. Fraser, why don't you say this part? Jack Finn is our disgusting primary and he sold his engineering firm and is now reveling in retirement with boundless leisure, unlike me, who still must answer to some nebulous boyfriend that exists somewhere in the world. And he also he owns a sailboat. You know that they write their own bios because this one's ridiculous. Stability's engineering firm is now reveling in retirement. Really? Really, Jack Finn? That's what she wrote? So Carrie's like, all right, now look at Darlene. She broke her room. Hell skiing. Hell skiing.

31:38Hell skiing. What the fuck is that? Sking helicopters, I take it. Fucking ridiculous. She's lucky she didn't break her neck.

31:46Ben Mandelker: She just got out of a cast, and they're having a 25th anniversary of their first date. So two beach excursions on this trip. The first day, they're going to go to Mullet Bay, where Ben Mandelker had a cherished childhood memory in first grade. And we're going to have a beach party, and there's a volleyball court there. And the following day, we're going to go to Anguilla, and they're going to want to do a full moon party. I just want to make sure everyone hears this, so that way people know what this show is going to fast forward over. All right. Right, now the husband is kind of a wacky guy. He wants you to fly over Anguilla in a helicopter and have the helicopter say something like, I won, stupid.

32:22And then his wife can just cry and cry and cry with the full moon out. I mean, nothing like losing while your full ass is pointing up at the sky in Anguilla, am I right?

32:33Ben Mandelker: In the afternoon, they'd like a beach set-up where they can eat lunch and have a competitive game of beach volleyball. Oh, I love beach volleyball against the yacht crew. I'm like, I don't. I don't. I don't like competition against the crew. What everybody loves on a luxury vacation. Dilly-dallying with poor people. Socializing with the help. So Kyle tells Celine, he's like, you look beautiful, by the way. She's like, oh, thank you. It's because my dress is very short. And also, if I don't feel very good about myself, I stand next to sheet. because shit is fat. This is what I hear. So I always look thin next to fat shit.

33:14It is okay to bully shit. You know that, right?

33:19Ben Mandelker: So, so, yeah, it looks beautiful. So have you ever, have you ever fell in love or fell down staircase? He's like, yes, a couple of times for both. Yeah. How about you? Two times. Well, staircase. Now it's just today. Then three times yesterday, but also love. Oh yeah. Two times for me too. Yeah. It's the worst. It's the best and the worst. It's love. Yeah. So then she talks about being in love and how she was in love when she was 22. And she's like, he left me four times in two years. And all the time I fell in love deeper and deeper and deeper. So all the time, worse and worse and worse and worse.

33:50Ben Mandelker: And my dad take me to emergency because I was so sad I stopped eating. And I couldn't. I couldn't eat. I couldn't eat. Not even, what do you call, Fatu Genie? I don't know. I would rather have someone break my finger than break my heart. Yeah. She's like, I was opposite of selfish when I was younger. But then I learned to be selfish. So now I'm selfish. And I say, no, I don't love you. And then you go to hospital, you don't eat. And then I break your finger. And he's like, oh, God, your energy is so hot. I mean, obviously, you're attractive as hell. Because he goes, what do you like on me? You tell me, what do you like on me?

34:23He's like, oh, well, you're sexy. You're attractive. Your name's not Barbie. Your father doesn't work for Coca-Cola. God, I'm craving a Coca-Cola right now. I love you, Barbie. Come back to me, Barbie.

34:37Ben Mandelker: so they go into the guest cabin and they have sex so then it's the next morning and people are waking up and Barbara's like I want to know how was last night and Frasier's like yes I want to hear all the details quickly please how was your date she's like oh it was nice it started to rain and you know we got naked guest room you know and Rainbow's like oh my god did Selene get naked last night girlfriend tell me everything can I get a hug I just love you Yeah, and Kyle's like, I got laid last night She was like, ooh la la Which she was, she's like, ooh la la So Fraser's like, Selene fucked in the master And she goes, no, don't say fuck Don't say this Oh, sorry She made sloppy, sloppy love in the cabin Was it good?

35:26Okay, yeah, fine Just go Just go

35:30Ben Mandelker: Do I think that they're compatible? Absolutely not But it's about man's and I'm all for it. But I'm going to get Selene cleaning the cabin because I for sure ain't touching shit. So she starts cleaning, etc. And then Anthony calls his mom and we hear some Anthony backstory, which is that when I was a kid, I was terrible at school because all the moms, he was like, oh, my kid gets A +, but I do not get A+. And you know, my mom had no story to say because I was a loser. So it's adding more pressure to myself because I had bad grades in school and then this chapter and like every chapter, I feel like I am playing for my life.

36:07Ben Mandelker: I am playing for mommy. Yeah. He's really a mess, this guy. He's so insecure. Yeah, he really is. He needs to get tighter pants or something. I don't know. They're already pretty tight, but he needs to get more secure. I mean, come on, Benny. He's like, oh, I'm failure because I was failure in school. Who cares? You can boil an egg. You know what I mean? Sometimes that's all that matters. So Fraser texts his boyfriend that they need to talk. and um so he does and he's like long distance is super hard it's never something i wanted to be in and lo and behold it's not working period it needed to be done i've broken up with my boyfriend everybody i've broken up with them i was so impressed emo yeah seriously i was so impressed because when fraser's we see his text message saying we need to talk and he goes off onto the onto the dock to talk and i was like oh my god it's gonna be another one of these seasons where someone texts some person who's off camera and the other person guilts them the entire season about their choices i was like i don't know if i'm mentally prepared for this like like this season was going so strongly for me until this episode and then this episode like leaned into all the things i don't like that below deck does and i'm like oh my god there's already going to be a competition against the crew there's already going to be there's already been like a date i don't know if i'm like ready for like an like a long drawn out text message argument and then fraser comes back he's like well we broke up it's over i was like oh i don't know that it was really an option i think fraser was like i made out with somebody and the guy's like i'm sorry who is this fraser your boyfriend i don't have it you do all right look i'm gonna see are we on grinder have you have i ever double tapped you on oh here you are fraser without an eye oh yeah you're 5 000 miles away from me so i literally have to pay extra to look at your profile so yeah i we're not dating oh and i guess we've broken up it's over so um yeah so that's done which i'm actually happy for good moving moving on so now the guests come on board and uh this that's the it's the primary the lady's like pardon me i've got a broken wing just got out of a cast i was helis skiing in helsinki too which was really awkward but anyway broken arm so they are all nice and hello and everyone's helping with the luggage and now it's finally time to leave the leave the dock and go out into the open sea surely kaya will rise to the challenge oh so this is the one where they're about to touch the dock i mean every dock every docking is hell but also they're going through that tiny little you know opening on the stupid bridge so it's another thing where it's like all right all right ready ready is everyone ready to communicate let's go all right dropping lines, please.

38:53Alright, Kyle, Kyle. Come on, Kyle. Kyle, are you there? He's like, um, what? Kyle, I need you to talk to me. From a distance. Yes, give me the distance. The world is small and blue. Alright, thank you. Come on, man.

39:10Ben Mandelker: Come on, Kyle, I need to know the distance. Alright, three eggs, toasts, and maybe some hash browns. Kyle, did you go back to the brunch place? Yes. Are you on the boat?

39:25all right all right all right what is that what is that coming up it's the bridge opening bro and jess is like oh my god uh distance from the bridge is three meters and opening you're looking at no no no uh distance from the bridge is bet midler uh in world war ii with james conn

39:42Ben Mandelker: what the hell are you talking about we are we are exactly four the boys away from the bridge what We are Otto Titzling Inventor and Laos What now you're going to beaches What is this general Bette Midler movie day How far are we from the dark Omelette Alright hold on We are Some say love It is Burrows What Yeah okay No more Janis Joplin biopics Let's just get the distances Commercials Here comes one right now

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41:43So they make it. basically. But the captain's like... So then we go to Robert and Barbara talking, and Robert's like, wow, this feels weird. I haven't sat at a bar in forever. And Barbara's like, oh, wow, you don't drink alcohol? And he goes, nah, I'm allergic to it. I break out in handcuffs.

42:07Ben Mandelker: Barbara's like, I don't get it. What do you mean? So Carrie is like, alright. All right, so Jess, what shift are you on? She's like, I'm on deck at 8, then I go to bed at 12. All right, and when do you get your break? You do get a break, don't you? K.O. said that when, if I'm asked this, I should say, give me a break, give me a break, give me a break of that Kit Kat bar. I'm not sure I follow. I no longer want you to quote that moron, all right? Now, how much of a break do you get? give me a break i sure could use it trying to make it to the top all right all right now carter listen i'm trying to just get around to this how much does kaiosak should i should i fire him right now she's like oh yes definitely he's stupid please fire him please get rid of him i think she's like i why are we forgetting that didn't jess come onto the boat saying that she normally is a bosun and she took a step down or was that rainbow was that rainbow who took a step down from chief stew no i think it was i think it was jess yeah jess is normally a bosun i'm like why are we not having just lead this boat right now she she has better ideas than ko does so carrie is like well i think he's just out of his depth it's just a very stressful role if you haven't enough opportunity to do this role before you're not going to survive ko ko what are you doing back there what if god was one of us on the train like one of us all right all right this is not betting you jerry all right now here's what i'm gonna do with you kayo i'm gonna give you another chance all right go ahead swim back to shore swim back so now the guests are doing water toys and jess is checking in with um barbara about working with the girls and she's like i love zozo i love Zozo.

43:59And she's like, well, it's not just So-So. And Barbara's like, well, I don't really like work with Rainbow. Well, I don't work with her very much, so who knows about Rainbow, you know? Her name is stupid. And Jess is like, you don't even know her name? Just, yeah. I thought her name was So-So. Sorry.

44:20Ben Mandelker: So then, now we hear some Barbara back. She's calling her So-So. So she's like, Like, you know, I don't even remember the last time I was with a gay girl. Like, my ex, she was straight. And we stayed together for one year and a half. And I don't even want to be again. And, like, one-way thing, like, the one, I don't want to be the one waiting someone's time anymore. So, sometimes you just feel tired, you know, to be with someone that's not, you know, it's not sure about you. So, it's nice that Jess is gay. We have a lot in common. I really like her. I'm like, okay, great. Thanks for the insight.

44:48I'm just so glad to meet a real gay person. So nice. so then um barbara is now talking to a guest and she's like let me understand something these are your parents and it's like no no okay the two in the teal they're brothers bobby's my dad brett's my brother the husband's the tall ball guy darlene's jack's wife those are her two sons oh i'm so sorry i asked this is very very confusing nobody cares this is a lot this is a lot for me are any of them Real gay girls No? Okay

45:21Ben Mandelker: Then please I was just making polite chatter I don't really care If any of these strange people are I just know they're American And probably stupid So then Fraser's like I'm so glad I'm over yesterday And Rainbow's like Oh do you feel different? Do you feel single now? Do you feel single now? Do you? No I just feel like If we're ever in the same place At the same time We're like no longer doing What we're doing And then it could Absolutely work out with What was his name again? Bert? Charles? I don't know whoever that person was on my phone, he was nice and we'll hook up sometime in the future.

45:52I'm sad. Of course I'm sad. Obviously, I care about him. I will always care about him. I haven't imagined life without him going forward. I mean, I saw him five times in one year. Incredibly difficult imagining how I would go on. It's like, wow, Fraser's really trying for a love storyline, but there's nothing behind his eyes at all. He's like, wow, love him so dearly. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Did you know that Damo has his penis pierced?

46:23Ben Mandelker: So then Selena's in the kitchen, and she's like, ooh, big fish, huh? Kiss him, kiss him. And Anthony's like, ooh, yes. So Anthony kisses this fish. He's like, ooh, salty. Reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. But Kyle, you guys are a couple, husband and wife, boyfriend. And she's like, yes, you're crazy. He's like, he probably wants a relation. She's like, no, it's too early. I don't really know him, and I don't want to put on pressure. He's like, yeah, right, don't rush stuff. if you're not ready for it, especially staircase, take every single step, girl. There's getting to be a dent in the wall. Okay, yes, nuis, rush, never.

46:55So now it's volleyball with the guests. Nobody cares. I'm not going to talk about it. So then Anthony gets the main course ready and Carrie gets a call from his daughter. And he's like, what? What do you want? How many meters are we from the dog? She's like, daddy, I would like help with my homework. And he's like, oh, God, all right, hit me. She's like, all right, what's the capital of Australia? God damn it, girl, don't you have a chat GPT over there? I'm busy.

47:24Ben Mandelker: It's called Canberra. All right, well, next question. Daddy, I'd like to know, what do you call a herd of kangaroos? Well, it beats me. We'll just call them... Poops. Just call them kios. All right, a bunch of kios. A bunch of kangaroo morons. All right, hopping around.

47:48God damn it You have the internet over there You're fired I've got a plane ticket with your name written all over it You little skank

47:56Ben Mandelker: She did not sound 12 by the way She sounded like she was a full on adult Calling from like a customer service It's like Kaiser Permanente being like We'd like you to answer a short survey About your most recent phone call with us Were you satisfied or unsatisfied With your daughter Say it as well I suppose extremely unsatisfied um yeah i think she just needed like some reassurance from her dad because all of these questions she could have just googled you know but she's like dad i need your your experience he's like oh i'm busy but dad i just want you to tell me you love me you know what i love a proper distance call all right gotta go little lame one goodbye quick so uh So then Kyle is settling down.

48:46Ben Mandelker: He needs to have a break. They're on the beach. He's like, are we going to sit here in the shade for a minute? So Jess is like, oh my God, you still haven't gone on a break? And Kyle, he hasn't been on a break, and he's been up since five. And Kyle's like, I'm sorry, we can't have breaks now. Okay? Hair doesn't curl itself on its own. So Jess is like, well, we need to start taking our breaks because we need that structure for our breaks at certain times. For example, when we are eating, that would have been a good time for him to sit down. Just let him chill and eat. He's like, okay, you're all right, it's fine And I was like, yeah, it's all right And she goes, no, it's not all right You know, I'm really pissed off I'm starting to think that Kayo is not cut out for this anymore My respect is declining rapidly One thing I appreciate is eating, sitting down As you can see from these 80 clips they've shown in the last two weeks Of me doing just that So Kayo does the standard reality star thing Which is, don't put it all out like this Like, bring me to the side especially being in her position you create tension it's like a bomb that can explode you can't do it like this that's all you've been doing kyo is like gathering a group together and yelling at them all in public or like barking orders in front of yes and that's totally when someone does something wrong on reality tv their their deflection is always to say i mean tell me in private don't like humiliate me in front of everyone i think everyone i think we just have to start establishing that it's okay to be called out in front of other people like that you actually you probably deserve it.

50:08Ben Mandelker: Usually if you've done something wrong, you deserve to be called out in front of other people. I mean, public shaming is a thing. I think your boss should be, you know, you should like talk to your boss in private, I guess, right? I think if he's telling them what to do in public, it's because he's the leader of the group. But then if one of them has a problem, then she's kind of spreading poison. Now that said, she has told you in private many times that you need to give a break and you still won't listen. So maybe she's just doing it in public. So you'll be getting a little public shame and maybe that'll help because she has tried you in private.

50:38I would agree it's not the most professional thing, but she's tried the professional way. Okay, hair?

50:44Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I think it's okay. And I think she's like rallying the troops at this point because Demo's also like, yeah, I agree too. We need this. We need better management, et cetera. Yeah. And he's like, it's like bomb that can explode. Do not throw bomb. So then we go to Jess and Demo talking about how they need more communication. and Kaya's like, yeah, you know, then fine. Then every morning we can talk about breaks. That's what we do. We'll get up, we'll sit around together and we'll say, what about breaks? Okay, does that sound good? And she's like, actually, yes, that would be great. We could have a deck meeting.

51:19He's like, yeah, yeah, we can do that. We can do this meeting every morning, okay? Because I'm riding on a freeway, a freeway of love in a pink Cadillac.

51:31Ben Mandelker: Like, oh God, he's in Aretha again. so then uh kerry kerry picks up anthony from the beach and so kerry and kyle and anthony are heading back to the boat but then like when the tender gets to the boat kyle's like not ready with the ropes to tie it onto the boat or whatever and kerry's like all right where's the preparation god damn it man come on when you're unprepared things go tits up that's like my daughter with her tests i mean ask me questions the night before you should already know this information this is so basic to have the lines ready this is so not knowing the capital of australia God, get me a new daughter.

52:03I mean, Bosyn. So Rainbow's like, um, is somebody having trouble communicating? And Fraser's like, yeah, I just think Kaio's just a bit frantic. You know, I don't know what it is, but Kaio's information seems to go one ear and then out of one of his curls. And that's why I get the big bucks people right there. Right there.

52:26Ben Mandelker: That's why I'm chief stew. That's why I get to be on a panel at BravoCon. So Fraser's like, all right, everyone. on dinner at eight o 'clock, what's the menu? It's like, oh, it's going to be, and they tell us the menu, it's going to be all this stuff. And the captain is going to be joining. So Fraser, of course, is happy to remind him of that many times to make him nervous. So Anthony says, I remember from last year, timing terrible, food disgusting, mommy disappointed, it was cold. So I felt all this pressure and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure the guests are happy and the captain is proud of me.

52:55Ben Mandelker: I brought check. I'm ready. Cut to Jill Zarian. This is disgusting. I've literally, I'm a rug maker. I've eaten a rug. This tasted better than this food. I mean, absolutely disgusting. Captain, what are you the captain of? Captain of, you know, a sinking ship? Is that what you are? Is this the Titanic? Are we sinking right now? This is absolutely disgusting. Fire him. Yeah, let me show you how to make a Diet Coke good. Okay. So then, now it's like... You put ice in a cup. You're going to put ice in Diet Coke. This is how you make a good Diet Coke. Yeah, I taught him how to make a Diet Coke. so Fraser is now it's like dinner time and the theme is Havana it's Cuban nights Havana nights or whatever so they're all happy and excited Fraser comes down into the galley and he's like this evening captain's at the table don't forget and he goes I know I know bro why are you telling me this I know already and he's like but no pressure obviously because we do this together me and you you fail I watch you and cheer you on and say fail and then I say why did you fail it's going to be amazing He's like, I have a lot of shit to do, bro.

53:59Okay, can you just let me concentrate on my shit?

54:03Ben Mandelker: Fraser's like, no, I totally understand. I just want to make sure that the timing is okay so you don't fail again in front of Captain Kerry like you did last year. No pressure. I cannot be four. I cannot be four eight. We can go at eight, but I cannot be four eight. I know what I'm doing, so Fraser, you need to calm down because I need to focus 100%. Fraser, he wants to help me, but you cannot talk to me like this because you're going to have problems together. I'm the fucking boss right now. actually mommy is the boss and then i am the next boss and i am not going to let people shut me down put me down again i'm an amazing chef and i'm going to show them that the rockstar and soon mommy get to tell her friends my son got a plus in cooking well i'm just trying to tell you the situation i mean there's no stress i just want you to know if you fail this you'll never work again do you understand what the fuck you're talking about no stress why you say this to me you're like blah blah blah but you don't need to be like that i'm just trying to tell you i'm here for you when you fail inevitably do you understand captain is at the table of course it is stress okay look at you worrying your shit it's not going to be good blah blah blah we know your it's not going to be good do you understand what i'm saying we're an audience who's already seen gone with the wind just waiting for you to vow not to eat turnips again do you understand that's what i'm trying to say i don't understand what gone with the wind is but uh if it is Gerard Depardieu movie, I will definitely watch.

55:23It's a slightly racist movie that gay people still watch occasionally, alright? You'll get it one day, if you're ever invited anywhere, which you won't be, because you're going to fail again, but I'll still be your friend. You understand that, don't you?

55:37Ben Mandelker: Oh no, mommy, he is getting in my head. So, yeah. Oh my god, Fraser's stressing me out, which normally I would get, but I don't think Fraser's really doing anything that bad. He's just like, you okay? He's like, how dare you? You're trying to take me down. So actually dinner is fine. It goes off without a hitch. It's very nice. Yeah. Everything's great. My first favorite critique is, wow, the Branzino, so tender. Really, Darlene? Does Branzino often have a problem with being tender? I've never had a hard Branzino before, but okay, Darlene. Well, Darlene's been through a lot. And it is time for Darlene Theater.

56:22Ben Mandelker: She's like, well, everyone, I know you've been wondering how I got this little broken wing over here. Well, we were coming down an icy trail. And I went over it and I fell back. And I tried to correct by putting my pole down. And then I felt my arm behind me. And then I literally heard a snap. And my arm fell off. I'm not lying. What you're looking at right here, this is a tree branch with nail polish. A magical snowman came down and kissed a tree branch. And now it's my arm. so I just like to think that magical snowman and Jake goes yeah that was her arm that was her arm that snapped yeah Jake they get it okay they get it I think you know notice how I said I put my arm back there and then I heard a snap there they followed it they knew that that was the arm that snapped I just want to make sure they knew it wasn't your far perware porcelain that you brought on the slope Jake no everyone knows so down in the butler pantry Celine is like oh look Rainbow you see how the butter now?

57:17Look at the butter, it's perfect. I think it's a perfect butter for you, do you like? And she's like, you know what? I love you. I love you so much. Get over here. Let me hug your head in my armpit. Okay, yeah, I love you so much. I know you're not my biggest fan, but I sure love you.

57:34Ben Mandelker: Okay. Such a weird thing to say. Such a passive aggressive weird thing to do. And Selena's like, well, you know, sometimes we fight, but it works. It's normal. She's like, well, it's not usually like, I'm not usually like a girl's girl. I'm kind of like a, I don't know, like find a jagged piece of glass and cram it into your neck, girl. But you guys are so nice that I'd rather just we all get along, you know? That's so sad. It's just such a way, that whole thing is such a sad way to phrase something. Like normally I don't like girls, but you guys are nice and it seems like you like each other.

58:05And I would rather you're nice to me so I don't have to yell at you. So can we just do that?

58:09Ben Mandelker: it's also funny because her saying i'm not usually a girl's girl is is very non-reality star because a lot of female reality stars love to proclaim that they are girls girls like we see it on love island right now it's like i'm such a girl's girl but usually the people who declare that they're girls girls are not girls girls that's why they have to declare it because they're trying to convince themselves and other people that they are despite their own actions but here she's like yeah i'm not a girl's girl yeah because they have that a lot right like you see it a lot on big brother shows like that where people are like yeah girls don't like me so whatever they're just jealous because i'm so hot you know and then they you see in five minutes why girls don't like them because they're vile to all the girls you know yeah and that's kind of a rainbow but rainbow is not your stereotypical one because usually they're like kind of bimbo type girls you're like, oh my god, girls hate me because I'm so hot.

59:06And they're so clear around me.

59:08Ben Mandelker: Usually it's women who are vying for male attention and affection and approval at the expense of other girls, which is why they're not girls' girls. But for Rainbow, she's not a girls' girl because she was literally trained that other girls are threats to her and she has to destroy them and leave them on an island in Holland. They're literally trying to destroy her because their father made them do it. So Carrie's like, all right yeah he's talking to fraser and i was talking to the guests he's like so when i was married you know i'd be i'd be away months at a time with the crew you know we'd get to know each other pretty well my wife would flow in we'd go out for a crew dinner and you know you know uh what what do you like and one of my crew people would say carrie wants this and the wife's like no he doesn't and then she's like yes he does he likes it and it's crazy it's because you'll work with them you know they know you like your wife so i ended up leaving my wife for the crew mate actually which is a good i'm like this story is so fucked up knowing that he ended especially when he says it's a female he's like yeah and she knew better than my wife that i liked i was like is this the one you left your wife for sir come on now awkward so that was a lovely story um and as we start our day with a celebration we're going to end our day with a celebration here it is a red velvet cake and then jake is like that's a cake honey yeah we know we know thanks for pointing out the obvious again jake yeah i appreciate that and one of the guys is like are you gonna pay for my trainer's extra month that i'm gonna need first it's a soft branzino and then a cake a velvet cake are you people get put a put a freaking candle on a branzino and call it a day am i right oh hold on doing some doing some clenches clenching my butt.

1:00:55Can you guys tell how to work off these calories?

1:00:58Ben Mandelker: Fraser, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to eat this. I'm unfortunately allergic to red velvet cake because every time I eat it, I break out in handcuffs again. I guess it doesn't work as well with red velvet cake as it does with alcohol. So, Kerry's like, awesome job, Mike. Food came out. Good presentation. He's like, oh, yes. Thanks, Captain. Thank you. I did it. Captain Lovett is proud of me. This means so much to me. I win. I win. I'm good again. I'm good again. Nothing can go wrong. And he'll be crying next week. There'll be two seconds next week. They'll be like, the guest was allergic to peanuts and you gave him peanut butter toast for breakfast.

1:01:36He's dead now.

1:01:39Ben Mandelker: So now it's the second day and it's sort of flying by and Kerry's like, deck team, deck team. Are there any guests on the fly bridge? And Kale's like, no guests. I did not realise we have a bridge for the flies. I thought they have wings. Why do they need a fly? No, it's not that. That's not how a waterfly bridge is. Okay, KO, just get back to work. So now people have filet mignon, lobster tail. We're already at dinner again because you're right. They're just fast forwarding through this whole thing. These people do nothing. They had an 8.30 full moon party. And we just see little shots of the whole trip that the guests have.

1:02:15And the cinematography of it's great. But apparently really boring because we see nothing. So now everybody goes to bed and it's the next day. And Rainbow sees Solaine in the little bun tree. And also I think it's that it keeps happening in the butler pantry, which is really tight anyway. But she keeps coming up to her in there and she's like, good morning, beautiful. How are you? Oh, can I hug you from behind? Do you mind if I give you a little kissy? Kiss on the neck, maybe. Yeah, God, God, normally not a girl's girl, but you taste so good. we're friends right i'm a cool girl oh yeah tell your friends who are girls okay spread the news rainbows are just another kissing girl lovely girl

1:03:03Ben Mandelker: so lane's like okay so she throws herself down the staircase like this morning i was washing dishes and she says me hi babes and she hugs and kisses it's just no and and barbara's like no i don't like that i don't like i don't know i don't like that no she's stupid i don't appreciate and So, Lane's like, no, she's trying to be kind. She's trying to. And Barbara's like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if she's really trying or pretending or pretending. She's trying, but like, we don't vibe. No, don't like her. What is your name again? Rainbow? Yeah, her. Don't like her. Sosa? I don't like Sosa.

1:03:33So, now it's time for the meter calling again. Oh, my God. All right, here we go. Here we go. Calling meters. How far are we to the dock? What a man. Okay. What a mighty good man. a mighty mighty good man kai oh please stop turn off your spotify and please call some distances

1:03:53Ben Mandelker: okay okay an old man turns 98 he won the lottery and died the next day it's like a black fly in your chardonnay it's like it's like 10 000 it's like it's like so many things that are ironic we just hit the deck again come on guys i'm not looking for stern distance i want you i want you to pull my stern across take up the slack he's throw the rope he's like okay okay i can do this i can do this i need a new drug one that won't make me sweat god damn it

1:04:34Ben Mandelker: there's a woman on the outside looking inside does she see me no she does not really see me She sees her on reflection and turns the other way. I'm starting to hear that. Okay, you're back on Susan Vega again. You've looped around. Oh, my God. The four deck have got their line on, as they should. The aft deck team need to get that stern line on. If they don't, we've got an issue with the line. It's up to the thruster at all because the guys didn't get the stern line on top. Next thing you know, line eater, line eater. They're going to be calling me line eater up and down the coast. He's a line eater.

1:05:06Ben Mandelker: Never want some. Ever want some.

1:05:12Ben Mandelker: so now it's like they they dock and everything but it's not a good docking it's like a bad docking it's embarrassing everything's wrong and carrie had to like tell care to do a million things he's like i'm running out of excuses the boy's not getting his job right okay and he's letting me down he's like his team down it's too much for him i'm sorry to say the boy is not mine

1:05:40so the guests have to go and uh jack's like wow the service taking care of my wife with a bad arm and her husband with a bad breakout of alcoholism but you guys did it darlene you want to say anything she's like i just want to thank the snowman who kissed my arm so i can half hug all of y 'all on the way out of here god damn it and also don't go skiing on helicopters

1:06:05Ben Mandelker: okay darlene out stick to the lakes and the rivers that you're used to oh god it happened to me now it's happening to me she starts to cry she's literally like and by the way thank you so much for getting me ice for my arms like okay darlene's had a little bit too much schlitz this morning we're gonna get out of here before she winds up in handcuffs too if you know what i'm saying she gets emotional she's a woman that's what they do okay thanks everyone for coming they've just deported darlene you shouldn't have asked for ice it's the wrong time darling hey wait a minute she's being taken taken off in a helicopter well not again so carrie's like well we've had a lovely group of people on this boat never had a person with a broken arm on a charter before what was that right a cast you're not part of the cast why would she keep seeing cats before i don't know I've never seen a broken arm before.

1:06:53Ben Mandelker: It was all very strange to me. Anyway, she didn't feel excluded at all. Not even after I pointed at her and said, ha ha, stupid broken arm. Anyway, the feud might was great. Who skis on helicopters? Loser. I mean, I tried. I tried as hard as I could to exclude her, but she just kept on being involved in things. It was terrible. It's really difficult. Maybe if I could have spent less time having to deal with K.O., I could have spent more time making her feel like she was stuck in a corner somewhere. All right, you've got$28 ,000. Dollars that double what the gays gave us. So, you know, let's thank God for heterosexuals, everybody.

1:07:26All right,$21.50 each. Go off, be merry. Do not give it to any gay people. I'm telling you, if any gay people wait on you, do not tip them. All right? We are going to get that money back somehow.

1:07:41Kerry calls Kyle to the bridge. And Kyle's like, oh, if the captain is not pleased, it makes me not pleased. but then I think squint squint what were we talking about

1:07:55Ben Mandelker: and so I was like alright I mean Kerry's like alright mate I'm having this conversation with you that I don't want to have I really want you to succeed here and the thing is we keep having these little errors they keep on adding up a small error like I don't know crashing into a boat or I don't know sinking in the middle of Mullet Bay each time I think that we've got to we've got to get the point of no errors we get another error and it's a problem with that i'm having is that i'm losing confidence in you and the expectation of a job on this but you realize we had a lady with a broken arm on this boat and i didn't even get to make fun of her because i was dealing with all your errors i didn't even get to properly roast my daughter for not knowing the capital of australia yeah because you would have taken up all my time mate ken bearer more like can't bear it because i'm dealing with you and all your mistakes all right so i've got to let you go mate and then he just closes up on kaios face he's like Mm-hmm.

1:08:49So what did you want to tell me? You're fired. Mm-hmm. So you wanted to have a talk? You got to go. Mm-hmm. Okay. So you want me to stay? No. You've got to go. Mm-hmm. I can't wait to do this forever. Please leave.

1:09:06Ben Mandelker: Listen, this is... Normally I have to tell you something three times, and I'm coming out of round number seven at this point. You're fired. Mm-hmm. He just, like, shakes his hair and looks at him like, fascinating, fascinating discussion we're having. And that's it. will kyle even realize that he's fired i don't know i'm not convinced but we knew he was going to be fired because as we mentioned earlier in uh earlier in the season when we saw that um the chef was not going to stay with us because peacock put up a photo of the entire cast like literally the first week that this this um this premiered and we saw in the cast photo that anthony was there instead of the the born again chef and that there was a totally different boson so like it's just been a matter of time just waiting for this guy to get fired i don't know what this is a blatant spoiler well that's pretty good we only had to wait till episode six to meet the new person that's good it's true it's true because so many people could go at this point like rainbow i mean how long does she have she's gonna have a nervous breakdown by episode eight i mean solene who literally can't do her job she just saw it's amazing they can't they can't ever get rid of selene no they won't they definitely won't she's too funny but yeah that's it so everyone thanks for being here and again we won't have a below deck recap next week but the week after we sure will okay everybody yeah we'll see you next time bye bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king our way is the amber way it's the Foster and the Furious, it's Amanda Foster.

1:10:41Ben Mandelker: She can run my country, it's Angie McGovern. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less name-y. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotz. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. She gets an A, it's Kelly B. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B.

1:11:19K, sirrah, sirrah, whatever we'll be, will Lauren Sills be. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.

1:11:40Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flandersen, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes, we canna, it's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran We got our wish.

1:12:34Ben Mandelker: It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manok's door. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lo Alkalani. The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She Eases Our Woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. We're On The Floor with Molly Dorsett. There's a Chance of Meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's The Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We Cannot Tell A Lie, it's Sarah Tell of Sun.

1:13:14Ben Mandelker: Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony. Come on, shake your body, baby, do the Sidney Cogdon. Let's take off with Tam La Plaine. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She Ain't No Shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.