#2912 PumpRules S6E7: It’s Not About the Pasta Live From Detroit

0:00Is there anything better than your team bringing home a W? How about a personal W for your health? If you're 45 or older and at average risk, it's time to screen for colon cancer. Now the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the U.S. It's easy to put off when screening feels like a hassle, but Cologuard Plus makes it simple. It's non-invasive, requires no prep, can be completed at home in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. Talk to your healthcare provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only. There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV.

0:39Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible.

0:50Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes, like enrich yourself. New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC.

1:29Almost took a tumble there. Hello, Detroit!

1:36So good to see you guys again. And here for Vanderpump Rules.

1:41Ben Mandelker: Wow. Oh, I can already tell it's gonna be one of those nights. And you know why? So here's something that I've learned. People from Michigan are resilient and they're strong. And the reason why I know that is because the only two people left standing are Jax and Kristen on Vanderpump Rules.

2:07And also, you guys can have so much energy after eating pizza here. Jesus Christ. We got Detroit-ed. Yeah. We were sitting back there like, oh, Jesus. Why? It is so good. So you make up that cheese, right? You guys invented your own cheese. You're like, the auto industry didn't really work out. Let's make a cheese. And now it's on. I eat it. I like it. What's it called? Brick cheese? Oh. Brick cheese. Well, that's easy. Detroit cheese. I like that you guys really stuck with your branding on that one.

2:44Ben Mandelker: It's very Chris and Doty. Brick cheese. Brick cheese. Sorry, cheese. Brick cheese. Cheese or bricks? Sorry, cheese. I have to say I literally am so happy to be here because otherwise I'd be home looking at all the annoying photos from Coachella right now. Or some people call it Rochella.

3:10Ben Mandelker: I mean, something's going to happen, right? Something's going to happen tonight, right? Every single year at Coachella something happens. Last year, Teresa and Taylor Swift took a photo together. Which I'm only now recovering from. So I guess we'll see what happens there. But I'm very excited about it. Coachella is too many people that I don't want to see in their underwear in their underwear. Okay? Just come over to my house. I do it every day. You want that shit? So I'm very... Mediocre music with butt crack. I do it every fucking day. Okay? I'll do it for$5. So there's actually some really cool Bravo news that I only saw happen.

3:49Ben Mandelker: This is not like gossip. It's just like something cool that Bravo is doing. I only saw it two hours ago And there's someone here in the front row who's wearing a blow deck sweatshirt Are people here do people here enjoy a blow deck? But more importantly are there people here who enjoy the real housewives of Salt Lake City? All right, let me read you let me read you this all crew all crew little girl literally it says that Below Deck, Down Under season 4 just started filming with the first ever Real Housewives crossover charter featuring the full cast of Salt Lake City oh shit and it looks like the chief stew is Daisy and the chef is Ben this is our Coachella

4:46it's the only Coachella we need I don't pray a lot these days but I'll pray for that crew

4:54Ben Mandelker: this just in all the orcas just attacked that yacht

5:00in other Bravo news I thought we could look forward because tonight we're looking back so we could look forward from the well I guess it's present so that's not really looking forward but if you were in the past then it would be looking forward if you're looking at the present. So Jax, Jax was on Extra TV. By the way, I love Vanderpod recaps. Do you guys ever read her on Instagram? She recaps all the podcasts so you don't have to lose your brain cells over it. And now she's like, fuck it, I'm going to recap Extra TV. I don't care. So she's doing that. So they got a clip from Jax, who I know we're all feeling a lot for right now.

5:42A lot. Yeah. Poor guy. So, this is Jax's quote. Jax, do you need to squash beef with anybody?

6:05You know, to be honest with you, I'm not really worried about anybody else right now. You know, right now, I'm, uh, I'm worried about myself right now, you know? I'm just, I'm going to be a little selfish right now. You know, I think I deserve to be a little. You're always fucking selfish. I know. I'm glad he's, I'm glad he's. How many years later is this? And Jax is like, guys, I just need a moment to be selfish. You just dropped your baby in the pool. Did you see that Instagram? He's like, guys, this is how dad's doing. Happy Father's Day. Drops his kid in the pool. His kid's like, ah! You know drowning to death or whatever kids do when you drop them in the pool I've only fantasized about it.

6:46I haven't actually done it

6:51And he's like Taping and then the story ends and people are writing back to the story like it's a baby dead

7:01Ben Mandelker: You just horrified someone in the audience. I just looked over and someone went oh my god

7:10And then Brittany, I think this was a recap of her podcast. Brittany! Or whatever it's called now. What was it called before? It's like, Jackson Brittany, happier than ever. And now it's just like, Brittany. Just Brittany. So a couple of weeks ago, she was like, Brim Tweeho, it's opening. I'm so excited, y 'all. We started ordering furniture. We designed it. I was like, oh, my God, those poor glue guns. because you know they're shit just being blue.

7:43Ben Mandelker: If you were wondering why all the Michaels in Los Angeles were empty, that's why. So she came out with this statement. She's like, guys, there's something I wanted to talk about before it got out there. It's huge news. I know it's going to be out all over the medias. It needs to come from me. They sold Roccos, which was what Brits was connected to, and it's all part of the same thing. And the partner straight up sold it. They didn't tell me they were going to sell. They didn't communicate with me whatsoever. And we'd already, you know, completely decorated everything. We ordered everything, the wallpaper, the new stuff.

8:20So you ordered it or you decorated it. You sound like Jack's right now. Erica Jean's going to be at that fire sale. Wallpaper.

8:31We're going to put in new seatings. You know, we order new chandeliers. We order everything on January 7th. So I thought that, you know, January 6th, you know, I was busy January 6th. So we started on January 6th as a holiday.

8:48Ben Mandelker: So we were having a pop up of Brits at the DC Capitol. This lady goes on, I swear to you, it's five dots. You know how the pages are little dots on Instagram. You just keep sweeping. Okay. So I think that's why I'm disappointed. Okay. Okay, a paragraph letter. So I'm pretty upset about it. They offered me to do a couple other things, you know. Another paragraph. I was just so excited about it. Another paragraph. They have offered alternative things for us to do. I was just so excited about it. Next page. I mean, I've got so many amazing projects coming. So many amazing projects coming. Next paragraph.

9:27But I want to let you guys know, it had to come from me. You know, I was just so excited about it. Brittany, stop.

9:33Ben Mandelker: She's acting like she's opening up a P.F. Chang's and Vegas. it was going to be three bar stools and like a picture of beer cheese on the wall so I think everybody should give a moment of silence for all the food inspectors in LA because you know they hired like 20 extra people who are now out of work yes to everyone who had purchased some pre-sale tickets to Brits at Rocco's, the Brits ex Rocco's collab I'm sorry they will be worth nothing I'm Detroit this morning. Okay, I have one question before we get into this. Where do the trams go in Detroit? Okay, we got to the airport. Beautiful airport, by the way.

10:18Lovely. Yeah. And there's this tram going overhead. It never picked me up. I walked five miles. Where do you get it? Where do you get on the fucking thing? You have to walk upstairs to get on a tram? That is not Rondle accessible. I'm going upstairs to get anywhere. I don't care if Jesus himself was handing out pizza up there. I'm not going up there. I'd be like, throw it down, Jesus. You work out.

10:44Ben Mandelker: It's a great metaphor for Jax and Brittany, though, just going around and around really with no air in sight and no end. And then we were walking here, and we saw another tram, and I was like, where does that stop? I feel like you guys are tram teases. There's a tram in the airport, which is, like, up in the rafters. Yeah. And then there's the monorail here that just seems to... Oh, it's just... I'm sorry, it's a people mover.

11:12A people mover.

11:13Ben Mandelker: It's a people mover. Not to be confused with Sir's goat cheese ball mover. A people mover. A people mover. That's a man I'd marry. So what are you into? I'm a people mover. I'm in. unzip your pants people mover move me seriously it moves the seriously to the seriously alright alright so previously on Vanderpump welcome to DJ Kennedy DJ night party see you next Tuesday it's John Lala W verschiedenen

12:08Ben Mandelker: Like I'm feeling used least little body feeling like I'm feeling muss like Mhm feliz Fat man, fat man, Lola feels a fat man. I felt like a walrus, like Robin eating Batman. Fat man, fat man, Lola feels a fat man. J-A-X, did you have relations with Faith next to a sleeping 90-year-old while Faith recorded you on voice notes? Tell me the true J-A-X. No. What in hell, Jax? What in hell?

12:48Dude! Ariana, it's so nice being like the one stable, loving, trusting relationship in this friend group. Yeah.

13:00Ben Mandelker: It's because we both take sketch comedy very seriously.

13:09Schwartz, Sheena told me that you made out with some girl from Toca Madeira. Papa, it wasn't a big deal

13:18Ben Mandelker: I just made out with a girl It is a big deal, Schwartz You're making out with people who aren't your wife Yeah, but then who would I make out with? Me, Schwartz You're supposed to be making out with me

13:37It's not even really your fault for cheating on me It's Sheena's fault for telling people you were cheating on me Hey, Kristen, Rob cheated on Sheena.

13:47Ben Mandelker: Seriously? No way. That's amazing. Is that true? Who knows? Spread it. Okay. Mariposa reporting for duty. Sheena, Katie told me that Rob kissed a gorilla to come at Dara. No way. All right. Rob is my forever ever. He can hang a TV in under five minutes.

14:12Ben Mandelker: Okay, I hate you, but that's hot. Katie, can I speak to you by the refrigerator? Is there a ranch in there? You're telling people that Rob cheated at Toca Madera. Yeah, but you're telling people Tom cheated at not Toca Madera. But Tom did cheat at not Toca Madera. So what's your point, Toca Madera? If you pretend that Rob didn't cheat at Toca Madera, I'll pretend Tom didn't cheat at not Toca Madera. Keep my Toca-Madeira relationship out of your Toca-Madeira mouth. Toca? Madeira. And scene.

14:58So... Vanderpump Rules. Season 6, Episode 7. It's not about the pasta. Season 6. Wow. Before terrorism. Before COVID. before Ozempic. That was a horrible time. That was a horrible... I'll take all of that for some Ozempic. You can do it all over. 9-11 me again. Just give me the Ozempic.

15:26Ben Mandelker: Sorry, that was too far back. We chose this episode because obviously it has an iconic scene. What I was not expecting, re-watching it, is that it was almost one of the most perfect episodes of anything to air on Bravo. It really was. And there were so many things in this episode. I was like, that was here. I mean, even Kristen's little gif moment was here. Oh, actually, Ronnie, that reminds me. I actually got you something to celebrate this.

15:58Ben Mandelker: It's Sheena's smile, we found it.

16:05The one thing this show is missing is evil Stassi. This is like Stassi. So was this when Stassi, I know we should know this for recappers, but we're old ones. Was this when Stassi was dating Patrick? We were discussing. Oh, that's why. Damn it.

16:24Ben Mandelker: It was before she went back to terrorizing her boyfriend with Bo. Stop, stop, stop. Is there popcorn here? Yeah!

16:38You bastards. Nobody told us. All right, show's over. Thank you so much for coming. Pop her Madeira. Okay, so here we are. They're getting the Sir outfit for Pride, which is hilarious that they actually went to a fabric store. You need a napkin and some tape, okay? That's basically what it was. You need exactly what Brit was doing Brits WeHo in. Napkins and tape. That's it.

17:05Ben Mandelker: Yeah. There's this random lady named Alina. I don't even remember if she was on the show or she just came in to be like the Like the wardrobe consultant for this important scene, but she comes in with a bunch of handkerchiefs and she's like here we go This is bohemian You know you put it on it becomes uniform at sir go cheese balls You know what the gays love to see on pride women boobs

17:32Ben Mandelker: Lisa's Lisa's whole vision is spreading the law I'm like that's what got half this cast in trouble in the first place Lisa Vanderpump Hello, welcome It's my Vanderpump pride You know I've always been a believer in homosexual rights Except driving They're terrible drivers really And I won't let one bust the tables here Actually not many work here at all really But I do allow them the alley to suck dick in So... One of the most important things that we do here on Vanderpump Rules is promote equality because love is love, which is why we've made a pledge to make sure that in every season of Vanderpump Rules, there is not a single gay man as a cast member.

18:26Ben Mandelker: Or at least one who's out. You know, Stasi's been assisting with events, sir, And on Pride I'm always kind of pulled, pulled in different directions. There's a giant Easter hat stall pulling me this way. A magician pussy bow pulling me this way. A pile of tuna tartare. What do I choose?

18:52Ben Mandelker: So I need all the hands I can get, even if they are Stass's grubby little mitts. Get it!

19:03And Stassi's like, I think Brittany would like to top the flowers on this so it keeps her boobs more secure. Those things are gigantic. She has been attacked by Jack. Jack says, forced size quadruple cues onto her. Can we just get some flowers to glue gun onto Brittany's breast?

19:21Ben Mandelker: We found out where all of Meemaw's beer cheese went and it was stuffed into her boobs. Don't hug her too hard. I forgot there are so many things I kind of forgot I mean once I saw them I remembered them but like that Jax forced those things onto Brittany That is terrible He's such an asshole. They're like two little VW bugs he was like I love a bug put him in there Hi, so Natalie Natalie is there and she's like oh yes, Brittany She has huge boobs now thanks to Jax and this poor woman Alina who thinks that these are normal people It's like, oh, she got pregnant. No, no, no. He bought a pair and had a mechanic shoved them under the hood, darling.

20:08Ben Mandelker: Okay, well, Ariana, Sheena, and Lala want to wear the ones that have the smaller ones because they got smaller boobs. Gross, disgusting. Oh, I know you, Alina. I know what you're up to, you little minx. You're going to find this meanest skimpiest little outfit You're gonna put that on someone just to get Ken's engines running before it's his birthday am I right? Ken I'll knock your spark out spark out Can't wait to see what we do this year's pride darling. I really hope we accentuate the breasts on these I think that's one thing I really do the last time

20:56I was holding Jiggy. Jiggy was still with, I think I was Jiggy. I know, I love Jiggy too. But we all know that was a sock. We all know at this point. That dog died like 30 years ago and we all fucking know. The original AI was Jiggy.

21:15It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

21:25Ben Mandelker: So, Stassi's saying how, you know, oh my god, or, you know, it used to be that Natalie was in charge of dressing the staff, but now Stassi's going to do it, and it's going to be great, which it looks just the same as when Natalie did it. Handkerchiefs are handkerchiefs, you know? And she's like, yeah, I can't wear that because I still have scars for my boob reduction. Let's take a look at it. Look at my pictures. And then her, you know, her pictures are like this, and like one boob's over here, and one boob's like that. I'm like, I still look like that.

21:56I didn't have anything done. It's just how my body appropriates itself. So they look at the boobs and they laugh at them. And I was just like, could you even do that today? Did Stassi just revenge porn herself? There's been a lot of that umbrella. So they're like laughing over her scurry boobs and stuff. And I was like, oh God, simpler times.

22:17Ben Mandelker: Yes. so then among many other things this episode had to offer it was the introduction of kelsey patel reiki master oh so we see jacks and schwartz and sandoval they go to this meditation place oh and peter's there too which is often that's a phrase that people say a lot because this is still like the first third of the season because remember this was like Cheers where they did like 100 episodes a season for a while. It just kept going. So this was only episode 7 so the guys were still in that mode where they're like we're different this year. All I want to do is be loyal to Katie and not drink things.

23:01Let's go to meditation. So they go in there and Kelsey's like, I'm Kelsey the Reiki master. You guys, these are essential oils. And Jax is just unzipping his pants.

23:13Ben Mandelker: He's like, I'll have some of my palm please so Peter's like he's like oh I love I love doing Reiki it's weird that it makes me feel like I'm in tune with the universe you know I have all my chakras in line it'll do a world of good for you just an update he's still working at sir so community college would have been a better stop on the train other people mover Jack next time tell the people mover to head to community Meanwhile, Jax explains what he always thought Reiki was. He says, I always thought Reiki was when you go to Brookstone and you purchase those little squares with the rakes in the sand.

23:52Ben Mandelker: That's called a rake. And that's a Zen guard. He's like, he hears Reiki and he just assumes it's about rakes. He thinks he's going to a rake therapy. He's gonna be given a rake and it's gonna give him deeper meaning in life. This guy is such an idiot. and he believes it too so Kelsey's like okay everybody lie down I'm going to touch you please put your boner away I haven't even done anything yet

24:35Ben Mandelker: I'm having a revelation so recently I've just been getting way too drunk recently and I just feel like I have so many golden opportunities right now it made me realize if I get drunk if I keep getting drunk I could be drunk during those opportunities is that what you're going to do or are you just going to keep fucking things up because you're wasted I was like damn Kelsey what kind of reiki is that like listen you stupid little drunk fuck up get your shit together how about that damn So then Kelsey, she's like, okay, so this is what you're going through. I want you to write down ownership right here.

25:14Ben Mandelker: I was like, can you only write down 10 % of that word? Because that's as much as I'm pretty sure he's allowed to have, according to Lisa Vanderpump. All right, write ownership on this slip of paper, and then write foreclosure on this slip of paper. So then Sandoval, this is his great revelation, which, you know, anyone could have told him this. He goes, dude, I feel like my mind is dulled. It has to be sharp first to get dull. So Kelsey's like, okay, now write down repossessed right here on this one. So they're writing it. And Peter's like, you know what I'm writing down? Go, go, go, go. That's all I do.

25:57I go. I see someone in front of the restaurant. I'm like, do you need a table? Let's go. Table 32 open.

26:05Ben Mandelker: Okay, write down sad. Okay. So then she's like, okay, okay, I can tell this one's going to need some special energy. Okay. Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap. Oh, yeah. Harder. Tap, tap, tap. Harder. Tap, tap. Ow, goddammit. Okay, you're having a breakthrough. What's happening? What are you feeling, Jack?

26:35Guys, there's just like a lot of things going on with me right now, you know? There's just like so much going on, you know?

26:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Here, let's tap out. Let out a little bit more. Tap, tap, tap. Let it out, baby. Tap, tap, tap. It's a fucking heart. Stop touching me with that thing. Okay. Come on. You're getting close. I know. I am. I am. I am. I am. Let it out. So Kelsey's like, Jax, are you willing to feel afraid? And he's like, I don't want to feel afraid. I don't want to feel afraid. I'm so afraid of feeling afraid. She's like, that's okay, Jax. It's okay to be afraid. Tell us your problem. And he's like, you know, I just had a great relationship for two years. It's so good. It's the best fucking relationship. And then she caught me doing something.

27:20What the fuck, man?

27:22Ben Mandelker: And he keeps cutting to Sandoval, who's like...

27:28Ben Mandelker: He's deep, bro.

27:36Yeah, you know, like after the whole cheating thing with Britney, whatever.

27:44You know, like, no one's really stopped to see, like, Jax, how are you doing? You know? Like, I mean, Kelsey's actually showing that she cares about me. She's invested in me. Like, she's holding rock hard. I got rock hard. and Kelsey's like you'll never ever ever listen I've known you for five minutes and I can promise you this you Jax Taylor will never make anyone happy you have to start with yourself juxtapose that with this week when Jax is like I just need to take care of myself guys origin story blame Kelsey. Hey, Jax, can I give you

28:27Ben Mandelker: a hug? Fucking please.

28:37Ben Mandelker: Not that kind of hug. Kelsey Patel, the original rock dealer in Jax's life. By the way, let's really not gloss over the fact that Jax literally said, after the whole cheating thing, No one's asked me how I'm doing.

28:58Ben Mandelker: It's hard. It's hard to cheat. It's hard to cheat when you get caught. Like, I just feel like such a failure. Someone was recording secret voice notes on me. Do you know how hurtful that is?

29:13Ben Mandelker: So they hug, and I just like how everyone in the room is like, yeah, he wants to fuck her. Yeah. Jax is like, do you think that chick will let me move in with her? I mean that wouldn't be that surprising if he tried to sleep with her and he's like I could deal with that every fucking day the chick who's only worried about hardness

29:35Ben Mandelker: Peter goes I'm happy I could help shut up Peter so Peter's like happy I could help guys happy I could help ha ha ha ha this is what he's having conversations with himself in the Sur back alley right now. He's like, I just need someone to sit in the other chair and we'll have a scene. So another origin story that happened here. So this is the first time we met Kelsey Patel, and now we hear the origin story of Britney's new face. It starts here, where she goes, Guys, I think I'm going to try Botox. It happened today. This is the moment. Congratulations. I'm not going to try Botox. You're a cool guy, Botox.

30:18She's like, it's the best That's like the best thing that you can do And Lalo's like, I mean I do it, but everything I do Is preventative For her career, yes

30:33She's like, I've been putting Vaseline around my eyes since I was five Because my mom told me when you're older You'll have crow's feet and no man will ever Fuck you on a yacht again

30:43Ben Mandelker: I decided I didn't want to have crow's feet But I wanted to fuck a guy who did

30:50so Brittany's like hey apparently all the guys went to right key meditation

30:56Ben Mandelker: and Jack's like he cried you guys he cried yeah that's what I heard and Brittany's like yeah he finally showed some emotion you know I'm seeing him putting in the effort and that's all I ever wanted. To lie on a pillow while someone tapped his forehead. That's it? That's all? That's all? Oh, jeez. But I like the rest of her sentence. She goes, all I wanted was for him to show some emotion. And not cheat on me, obviously, you know. Don't worry, it'll work out.

31:32Lalo's like, so, I'm having lunch with Katie's, and I feel confident, because, like, she's really been kind to me. You know Katie, the girl's girl. So, Brits, you hang out with them a lot. Did they talk about Sheena's relationship?

31:49Ben Mandelker: Well, the reason I found out is because I was at lunch with Katie and Kristen, and they told me about it. That's my flashback music. And we just see a flashback to Katie saying, like, I heard about, like, a Toca Madera chick that, like, Rob hooked up with. Seriously? Amazing. I'll tell everyone. you're flashing back to now you know what Katie started this whole thing what Britney look at me in the eye Katie started this whole thing I'm not following can you say that a little bit slower of course she started Ariana's like of course she started it Sheena I've missed the years where Ariana and Katie hated each other's guts.

32:37Yeah. This was like a warm blanket. You know, it's like, oh, God, back when I wasn't the only one. So Ariana's like, yeah, of course they are Sheena, because what else do they have to talk about? Not a one of them takes a comedy class. I can tell you that much right now.

32:54Ben Mandelker: Yeah, what are they talking about? Fucking statement necklaces. They're white wine they're having at lunch. I'm like, leave Luann and Ramona out of this.

33:05And Ariana's very worried about Sheena because her anxiety is getting the best of her. So she's like, none of your business. And Sheena's like, I mean, it's like such a deflecting mechanism that Katie finds out her husband has yet again made out with someone in public. And she's like, oh, my God, don't get mad at me because your boyfriend's making out with people in public. And I'm like, sweetheart, that is your boyfriend, not my boy. No, that's your husband, not my boyfriend. My boyfriend doesn't make out with anyone, even me. Case closed.

33:38Ben Mandelker: So she says, What kind of slam is that? Your boyfriend doesn't make out with you? I know. So the best part about Sheena is the way she just goes and tells the same story over and over again. So this is the beginning of this one. She's like, Well, after that whole rumor came out, I told Rob, and his reaction was just like laughing. But like, now I haven't seen him for like a few days, and I'm wondering, is he still laughing? Did he even hear what I said? Was he laughing at me? Was it because the TV that he put up in five minutes had friends on it? Because that's a funny show. Was he laughing at something behind me all this time?

34:07Ben Mandelker: And then he was like, when he heard about me, what I said, he started to cry. Like, where did the laughter come from? And I'm just like really confused about it. And I'm just like, just want to put on a halter top and just like cry in a corner right now. I'm so confused.

34:22Ben Mandelker: She's spiraling. I mean, I just hate that we're even still talking about this. I mean, you were talking about it last night. Now we're talking about it. Now what are we going to talk about it tomorrow? Can we never talk about it again? We talked about it at the refrigerator. Does that mean nothing? the refrigerator was like the serious place yeah you don't make a deal in front of that skanky ass refrigerator and then renege on that deal the next day well chef while chef joe is trying to push out like rutabaga soup you know it's going right by that fridge during i miss chef joe too remember when chef joe's like here i've got a special for the day and then he hands him a plate and it's like a bowl of soup but there's soup all over the outside of the ball he's like here take it and then Lisa would tell us we here at sir do something we call specials the dishes that's for one night only just one of our unique ways of innovating the restaurant industry

35:18oh my god you guys can we make a promise like we're by our refrigerator please let's not ever talk about Rob possibly cheating again hold on Rob's calling me. Hello?

35:34I'll call you back.

35:36Ben Mandelker: He's still laughing. But what if he stopped laughing after the phone call? Okay, so now we see Brittany, Katie, Stassi, and Kristen, the witches of WeHo, plus Brittany, walking down the street, and they're going to see Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun La La Land. Without La La, which is really fucking cool. That is the irony. There is no La La Land. So Stassi is like, there's like nothing more fun than a girl's night where you all dress up in primary colors in the costumes of La La Land. There's literally so many more fun things to do.

36:21It's like, I mean, I can never remember which fucking La La Land color isn't actually a fucking primary color.

36:30Ben Mandelker: I do love that Stassi like dissed primary colors. She's like, I'll take anything down. I'm so basic. I don't know if peach is a primary color. Stupid. That was Stassi Singh. She was like, I'm a rebel. I'm basic. Yeah. I like ranch dressing and not knowing whether peach is a primary color. Fuck you.

36:56Ben Mandelker: so they're just like chatting and katie's like i'm not looking forward to working with sheena sheena accused me of spreading rumors about rob and sheena went around and started telling people about the tom rumor i mean this season really did have it all i mean there was like multiple cheating rumors happening at once i mean i tried to tell her i was like katie wouldn't make this up it's Katie she's a good person okay no one would call her Bob off she wasn't a good person that bitch cannot comprehend anything that is beyond an Instagram selfie or a Snapchat story she has a boyfriend and she has sir and that's it she needs to get a fucking hobby dude that is a hobby.

37:43A boyfriend and sir. What more do you need? It's more than I do in a day. So they do shots. And they're waiters there. And he's like been told like, hey, there's a single girl at the table. So he's just lingering. He's like, hi, I'm Chris. Welcome to La La Land. Like, Brittany!

38:02Ben Mandelker: Hi. Have you heard of Kentucky? It's a state. He's like, yeah. I'm from Winchester. He's like, oh, I've heard of that. I've heard of the letter W. Oh, me too!

38:17You're from almost the same place as me. We could be family. Show me your teeth. Got them all not family move along

38:26Ben Mandelker: It's definitely flattering to have a guy flirt with me, you know, cuz it's nice to know that people do like me and are like Attracted to me and stuff, but I think I'm gonna go back to the guy who doesn't like me and isn't attracted to me JX

38:40it's definitely good to have a guy flirting with me this guy's just like um can i leave now did you guys did you guys want a side of fries or so brittany has an announcement which is

38:56Ben Mandelker: i decided i want to try to work it out because jacks went to reiki meditation so katie's like oh my god reiki for how long i like that katie knows how long it takes like is this like real reiki or like a temp reiki i mean was it like the full reiki course it's tapping your head with fucking pebbles off the ground katie katie's like a tom made a real effort, he stopped drinking for 10 minutes. So Stassi tries to warn her. She's like, look, he's going to beg. He's going to cry. He's going to say he's going to get help. He's going to do all these things. He's going to hurt you all over again, which, by the way, all does come true.

39:40Ben Mandelker: And she's like, you know, I know that you're holding on to hope. I can see it on your face. Oh, actually, that's just honey mustard. Could you wipe your face, please? But I at least see trying. You know, he went to Reiki. I can't wait to start having big kids with him. So Kristen's like, but he acted so cold. And Stassi's like, I mean, Jax knows exactly what the fuck he's doing, okay? He's doing the bare minimum to keep Brittany, which I mean, it's really all it takes is Brittany. Brittany's like, hey, today he put on shoes with laces and tied one of them. You guys, he's trying. He's trying. So now we go to Lala and Logan.

40:30Ben Mandelker: Logan. Other Logan. Other Logan. Walking down the street. Walking down the street, going into Sweet Chick. And they sit down with one DJ, James Kennedy, who announces, he points out to them, do you guys want to hear something that's so gangster? They have gin and Welch's. Welch's grape soda together, it's so gangster. Street, street, Kennedy and that house, am I right? This could be the new... Gin and juice. This could be the new Pumptini. Gangstatini. All right, we want gin and juice and we want a few shots, make them doubles, all of them doubles. Get them triples, get triple shots here. It's what we do over here.

41:16I can drink, I can stop drinking whenever the fuck I want to, right? Would an alcoholic order four doubles?

41:29Ben Mandelker: Put them in a glass big enough to impress a fat man. He's like, to getting drunk, to getting drunk. I love how Bravo used to deal with alcoholism storylines. This was James' alcohol storyline. This is James' quitting season. Yes. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

41:55Ben Mandelker: So, to anyone who is or was concerned about James, we have some great news and he tells us, obviously, I've been trying to cut down and control the drinking. We'll have another double vodka shot. Literally. So then he takes syrup from the table and pours it into a shot and Lala's like, that's fucking disgusting. He's like, alright, alright, alright, alright Alright I know you both love Raquel, right? You both love Raquel And Logan's like He's like Because you know, sometimes I have drinks And I just don't even realise, you know But I can stop drinking any time I want No problem, no problem whatsoever Alright, alright, so you both love Raquel, right?

42:39And Logan's like, um, keep going Keep going And Lana's like go ahead, finish your sentence. And so he's like, well, all right, all right. All right, so now you're making faces at each other. Oh, oh, right, right, stupid bitch. Fuck you, fuck you, stupid gay, you stupid bitch. Fuck both of you. Give me another shot of here. Listen, we're best friends, right? I'm best friends with you lot, is that right? You're going to treat her like that? She's moving in. I gave her a draw in my house.

43:05Ben Mandelker: Can they show a flashback of James being, James is giving Raquel a tour of her future home, AKA the twin size mattress behind the strange room divider shade. And he's like, guess what? With the old creepy gay guy who lived behind the changing wall thing. He's like, guess what? I cleared out a drawer for you. And this drawer up here, that's going to be yours someday. But I still have to work on that one. But it's something you can dream of someday. It's not when you go to sleep, you can just imagine your camisole in that drawer. Cut to a Raquel reaction shot. She's like,

43:52So if you pull the handle, then something comes out, and then you put stuff in it? It's a drawer, Raquel. It's a goddamn drawer. You've got it.

44:05Ben Mandelker: so uh james is like really excited that raquel is gonna be moving in and that she has had a whole entire drawer and so he's like trying to be like this is great news isn't everyone excited about this great news oh my god what's the problem logan's like that you're not excited for me You're not excited for me and my relationship. Do you have a problem with that? Honey, did you not see them at your fucking see you next Tuesday? And you're like, what? What? What happened at see you next Tuesday then? What happened? What did you say happened at see you next Tuesday then? And she's like, yeah, we ate all of her pastas.

44:45And she didn't even give us permissions. You're a bitch. You're a bitch.

44:52Ben Mandelker: I'm going to leave. You're a bitch. You're a bitch. I'm out of here. You're a bitch. Give me your drink. I'll have yours as well. Fuck both of you, all right? Yeah, she's been nothing but a fucking friend to you. You know, you have a fucking mind right now. You think you can be mean? You think you can bully a little girl with a pasta? To you? Oh, poor Raquel, a more beautiful woman than you'll ever be. Lala. And then Lala, whose line was not that good back then, I mean, it's still not great, but she's like a master now compared to them. Because she just said, we ate her pasta and we didn't even ask her and now she goes but Raquel offered her pasta to us and he's like oh don't fuck with my bitch alright you need to learn to respect a woman alright don't fuck with my bitch cause I will fuck you I will fuck fuck you fuck everyone around you you stupid fat slut slut fuck big slut fuck fuck cause you're sleeping with a fat cock fitness man a fat man a fat man All right, fat man.

45:55Yeah fat man's gonna get bored of you and he's gonna be on to the next young pretty blonde You know if you want the truth if you want the truth about I

46:06Ben Mandelker: mean

46:10Ben Mandelker: Listen even a drunk clock is right twice a day You know what when James drinks The shocker about rewatching this is how wrong these people are but how right they all are I mean Their judgments are all on point. Everything they predicted about each other came true. Yeah, but no, because you don't earn brownie points if you drive on the wrong side of the road and someone says you're going to get hit by a car and then you get hit by a car. It's like the most obvious call to make. Everything here is so obvious. And Lola's like, yeah, when James drinks, he just becomes a werewolf. So that's his claws come out the banks and the bloods are dripping.

46:51They're just dripping. That's what happens to him after two drinks. And he's like, oh, she goes, James, I literally said, Raquel said you want some of my pasta. She begged me to eat her pasta, OK? Stop.

47:01Ben Mandelker: And he's like, no, no, stop talking about the damn pasta. Stop. Get over it. You've been a bitch towards Raquel, a real fat slut bitch. He's like, are you really saying that just because I ate her pasta? Oh, no, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. All right, you fuck the man because he pays your rent. All right, all right? Like stop it stop this Logan's like stop

47:28Logan So Lala's like you know what You can't say whatever the fuck you want Learn your fucking place bitch We'll fucking cut you Bitch do you understand I was slicing you from forehead Down your fucking bullet Do you understand me on the street

47:44Ben Mandelker: You wanna see gangster Gin and grape soda has nothing on me I'm Lala Kent I will curb stop your ass So know how the fuck to talk to somebody when they're your friend Because I'm out having amazing days Wait a minute, when am I going to talk to you again? You're going to talk to me again? You don't just leave like that, Lala, come on, I'm going to talk again Logan's like, bitch, go talk to her So he chases her out And he's like, alright, Lala, I'm sorry, Lala I'm sorry skinny, man. I told you that I ate Raquel's pasta and that's how you come for me like what the fuck No, there was a dig. It was a dig.

48:29It was a puff. What the fuck is wrong with you?

48:32Ben Mandelker: What the fuck is wrong with you? It was a joke. Stop coming for people who have your fucking back I told you I had a bite of pasta and then the whole thing was devoured and that's why you go off on a drunken tangent I'm like, well, it's just a pasta. What are you going on about the pasta? Stop with the pasta. It's not about the pasta, Lola, all right? It's not fucking about the pasta, all right? Jeez. It's not. It's not about the pasta. It's about Lola showing respect to my bitch, all right? Like, how does she expect me to respect her fat man if she can't respect my bitch-hole slut? Like, come on.

49:13Ben Mandelker: She's literally dating. She's literally dating. A cheese stuffed ravioli. Get over the pasta already. I mean, show some respect if you want respect back. Not giggle after you eat my girlfriend's pasta. I think my favourite part of that is, like, the emotional arc of him saying that phrase. Because the first one is like, It's not about the pasta! But then it gives him this kind of, like, sad place where he goes, It's not about the pasta.

49:42So she's like stop touching me stop touching me don't touch me anything Lola we can talk later. All right. We can talk later Okay, I'm getting wet. Love you so much love you so much So now we go to sir and sheena Ariana and Brittany are working. Oh god I miss when they actually work. This was so fun Whenever I mean there's so many classic moments that have come out of this show But when I think back on Vanderpump Rules, like the scene that really makes me like get a tear in my eye Is when Katie was marrying catch-ups and then she like held the tray of catch-ups for like a whole scene I was like, this is real.

50:23Yeah

50:25Ben Mandelker: Those married catch-ups were the strongest relationship on this show So Brittany's like, hi, how you doing today? Reiki fixed everything for me and And Sheena's like, um, were there girls talking shit about me last night? Because I do not want to talk about this again. Because a friend of my mom's was there and overheard my name and saying that I was accusing him of this and that. A friend of your mom's was at La La Land? Sheena, what the fuck are you talking? That was Aunt Pam. Was that her aunt's name? She was commissioned to put a halter top on the movie screen. She might sort of invented crop tops.

51:03Ben Mandelker: So Brittany's like, well, Katie was upset because you were saying that she started a rumor and then she felt like you were gone doing the same thing. She goes, um, I tried to introduce Rob to this group and now I feel miserable. I don't want him involved with Katie and Stassi and Gina. It's just like drama that he doesn't need. He's like way too busy and successful in this life to deal with their bullshit. I mean, do you know how fast he can put up a TV on the wall? It is insane. And I don't feel happy anymore. And they kind of like took that from me. And like, they think they can do whatever the fuck they want, they think, and then they're the ones that They literally broke me.

51:32Ben Mandelker: They broke me, okay? They took away my happiness.

51:38You guys, I know that you don't eat cereal anymore, but if you pull out milk and look on the back, there's a picture of my smile, and it says missing. They stole it. And Ariana's like, yeah, it seems like Katie's the one who twisted it into something else. Shocker. There's something about her. So, Brittany. Well listen, I don't know if it's true But I think she got mad Because she thought you guys weren't going to talk about it And then I guess you were talking about it And I think that's what upset her Plus some lady who said she knows your mom Came up and started eating Katie's popcorn You know Katie don't like that

52:17Ben Mandelker: Yeah, well we were talking about it But then like her and Stasya twisted it And added like more information to the story And like no one saw anything because there was like Nothing to see with Robert Taco Madero Oh my god, I'm losing my smile again I mean, it's not like she made up the rumor on. It's on or wrong. That's not how lives work.

52:38Ben Mandelker: Do you know, up here, sometimes things sound funny because we're projecting out that way. And this is what that just sounded like to me. Oh, the hell? Which is, like, very accurate to Brittany. I'm doing that with you, too. I'm, like, side-reading your face today. Like, what the fuck is he saying? I feel like... To be fair, that is basically 13 years of our podcast. So now the Toms, Tom and Tom, are walking down the sidewalk, and they're going into... Tom Tom. Yes. Tom Tom. The site of Tom Tom. The old dildo store in West Hollywood. I love that. I just love that the dildo store became Tom Tom.

53:27so did they walk I remember it she's like I remember it hey Leon I jerked off like a maniac with that store yes girl that was Chi Chi LaRue's dildo store yes so Miss LaRue we'd love to make a deal for your dildo

53:48Ben Mandelker: store what if we turned your dildo into a giant clock with a swinging pendulum over the bar by Maestro Nicolene. We'd like to turn your dildo from a dildo into a dildoo. What do you say, Chi-Chi? So, these two walk into a visual metaphor of their life, a pile of trash. And they're going to pick up the debris to show that they can work for an hour. And Tom Schwartz is like, oh man, we're going to need a tetanus shot after this. Ow! Ow! Ow! I stepped on a nail. He's literally like, Have you ever stepped on a nail? And Sandoval's like, No, dude. He's like, I have.

54:38So now they have a little grabber because their job is to clean up trash, which, by the way, they don't do this whole scene. They just use one of those little light bulb change grabber things. They're like, Ew! Gross! Disgusting! Oh, actually, a dildo. I'm gonna keep that.

54:56Ben Mandelker: Because we're like not putting up a majority of the money like Ken and Lisa are, I want to show them that we're like willing to invest that sweat equity that we talked about, bro. So like we're ready to get down and ready to get dirty and ready to figure out who the fuck the traitors are, bro.

55:15Wow, you know what I did last night? I got hammered. This is a week after. He was like, Katie, I'll never drink again.

55:24Ben Mandelker: Schwartz says, I got hammered. And Sandoval's like, dude, I know you did. You passed out on my sofa. Katie texted me last night. I sent her a message saying, just FYI, Schwartz is with me. That means for your information. He's on my couch. And then I sent a picture of you on my couch with my balls resting on your forehead, bro.

55:48Ben Mandelker: He had to dip, man. So Schwartz is like, Schwartz is like, oh, Katie made it very clear that for the foreseeable future, she doesn't want me to get shit-faced, and she doesn't want me to take shots and have no guys' nights, and, oh, I pretty much managed to do all three of those in one night. Oopsie-daisy! What a piece of shit this guy is. He's like, you know, I honestly thought Katie was going to just go off on me, But then when I came home, it was amazing. She was so nice. She's never been that nice to me. It was such a warm, loving reception. I was like caught off guard. Like it made me fall in love with her.

56:29It's called bargaining. What are the steps of grief that you go through? She's like, okay. Grieving the marriage. Bitter that it never happened. Accepting that it never happened. Bargaining that it could be better. She's like, this is you? Great. Do you fuck people? Great you want to have some Doritos? I do too. Want to sleep till noon? Want to never work again? Sounds great

56:53Ben Mandelker: Please don't cheat on me And then we had a very light 2018 or I should just say pre 2020 moment when they're like God How do we put on these masks? This is so strange. I've never had to put one on. I was like, oh 2018 I was like whoa, it's so great like you know Like when you cheat on somebody and then they're like really nice to you. That's like so hot when girls do that so uh we then cut over to katie and she's at christian and carter's apartment who we don't see carter but you know his his presence is felt yeah and katie is like so last night i went to sleep early and then i woke up at five and i look at my phone i had text message from sandoval it's a picture of tom sleeping on his couch yeah and this may be like the 20th time that he's fallen sleep at Sandoval's house.

57:44Ben Mandelker: It just like happens. Yeah, she's like, it happens. What are you going to do? And Chris is like, um,

57:52do you have this tracker? Do you have this tracker? What do you mean? Like a tracker, like you shoot it into his neck, look at it on your phone.

58:04Ben Mandelker: Carter started sharing his location with me when he was in Europe. So I'm always like, are you going golfing? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, are you coming home anytime soon? And he's like, yeah. He's like, I'm still at the course. I'm like, okay, cool. Seriously, bye. Mariposa out. Yeah, but like, he was like, Bubba, I'm so happy to be married to you, you know. And he started talking about our kids and how they'd say, Daddy, make me pancakes. So like, I'm in love with him again. Katie, he was breathing liquor all over you while he said, you know, he had like snot dripping down his nose. Who else?

58:35I would tell you I loved you if I was as fucked up as Tom. And he'd be like, hey, you know, you're not so bad.

58:43Ben Mandelker: she says basically like if this had happened a year ago she would have fucking had his head uh so the clue that chapter has closed for her because i probably would have rage checked at him and probably insulted his penis but you know now we're just talking about it marriage is good for us oh bless her heart every time wednesday comes around people call it hump day and i'm like this is the day Katie got married. It's a Wednesday wedding. A Wednesday wedding. It's like never okay for me.

59:16So now we go to the Tom. Tom's working at the site. And Lisa and Ken arrive. We just see Lisa. She's like, magic, it's me. Lisa Vanderpump. Come on, Ken. He's like.

59:33Oh, look at this. Last time I was in here, there was a large drag queen trying to stick a knob up me bum. So, yeah. Doing a good job, boys. Doing a very good job.

59:45Ben Mandelker: Schwartzy Pooh, are you and Katie okay, darling? You know, I'm just happy to be doing something and not just talking about it. This morning, I jerked off to a lady on the corner, and Katie gave me a pack of Doritos to take in my lunchbox. God, we're doing great, Lisa. Thanks for asking. What is wrong with you? I'm actually going to sit you down and we're going to go over your marriage vows and we're going to talk about it. And then I will claim 5 % of your soul. He's like, you don't have to talk about my marriage vows. They're right here in my heart. I don't need to go over them. I remember him anyway.

1:00:29Rob-a-dub-dub. Please don't be a bitch. Thanks, Katie. I guess I'll marry you because you kind of made me. Happy Wednesday, everybody.

1:00:42Ben Mandelker: So we go back to Katie and... You guys are booing, but you know it's true.

1:00:54Ben Mandelker: At the end of the scene, Lisa's like, Schwartz, he's a bit too old for these puppy dog antics. I'm like, don't worry. He completely does not grow out of them over the next eight years. Yeah. You're married, and with that comes responsibility, eh, Ken? Every day, pick up a purse. Put it on your wrist. Pick up a tiny little fluffy dog. Stick your arm up its ass so people think it's alive and she doesn't have to buy a new one and train it. Spray yourself with a little something. Put on an iron rod Stuart wig and go on with your day.

1:01:32Ben Mandelker: So we go back to the other girls and Katie is talking about how, you know, sometimes you have to go through shit to get to a better place. They never got to the better place. And Kristen's like, oh, speaking of going through shit and couples, so I talked to Brittany's mom and I told her mom that I think it would be really fun to be surprised and her mom agrees so she's going to come and teach us how to put white lipstick on our lips. yeah you know how jacks just cheated on britney i thought it would be good to get her mom here to give jacks attitude about it she was the one who sent her to vegas knowing the vanderpump rules was there in the first place to get that fucker so why shouldn't she suffer the consequences so now it's time for we ho gay pride which is always great on the show because it's more it's always the most chaotic event of the year and so everyone's there and it's all sorts of you know excitement and love is love and drunkenness and all the good stuff it's good you can cheer for that it's interesting because it's what straight people do on gay pride like all the shots they show it's girls in bikinis going yeah and when gay guys float by on whatever perspective floats they're on there like, well, yes, yes, bitch.

1:02:52Ben Mandelker: So we're like, please, we're not here for that, ma 'am. So while outside is love is love, inside Rob is in love because we see Rob and Sheena and Rob's like, hi, how are you? Good, I guess. So I was like on a rampage the other night because I like snapped at Ariana and Brittany over there and then I just like left because I just like hit like a breaking point because I was like, I do not want to talk about the Rob situation anymore. He's laughing. The laugh. All right, look. Look, baby, life is hard as it is. Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's why you want good people in your life. Yeah. You know, if I'm literally going to be in your life.

1:03:36Which you will be forever. And that doesn't work for me. I'm fucking out of here. Got it?

1:03:45Ben Mandelker: Oh, yeah, well I lost my smile this week for sure Missing my smile I mean, if I lose him because of what these bitches said There's going to be a real fucking problem Friends wouldn't do this to me He's like, don't lose your smile because of people I want that smile on your face Till the second I walk out your fucking door All right, baby. He's so gross, this guy. That wasn't even far off from his actual quote. He told her, he literally told her, I'm literally going to be in your life, and if that doesn't work for me, then that's it. What the fuck? All right, so what does gay pride mean to Kristen, you guys?

1:04:31So Kristen's like, guys, all right. Gay pride, gang. gay pride, we're protesting assholes that don't believe love is love, okay? And anyone that doesn't believe that love is love, suck a dick. Suck a dick. Like, but it's gay pride. So can all of us who also believe in love suck a dick, Kristen? Like, this is gay pride, man.

1:05:01I give it a chance, man.

1:05:05Ben Mandelker: So then, um, Lisa, Now it's crowded in the restaurant, and Lisa goes up to Lala. She's like, oh, I keep missing you at the restaurant. She's like, I know, I want to chat with you. Are you still with your boyfriend? We are noticing less fried chicken in the kitchen these days. So I just wanted to make sure it's going okay with your boyfriend. She's like, that's great. Is he still rolling over on you in the middle of the night? Sometimes. Is he still asking you to eat out his butthole as you... proudly, proudly claimed you did last season. She's like, sometimes. Glad to hear my little birds are doing well.

1:05:46Ben Mandelker: Yes, but like yesterday, James, for no apparent reasons, just started slamming my mans. Okay, like one insult after the other. It was like very hurtful. Oh, but I thought you and James were friends. Yeah, we are friends, but what I saw yesterday is not the James that I know. I'm like, literally, that's the James that everyone knows. That's a James you know. That is the James. It's just like it's when the gun goes off in your hand at the wrong time. Like damn it that's not. It's the gun. You're using the weapon for everybody else. Sometimes it goes off when you don't mean it to. So she's like that motherfucker.

1:06:17And she goes was he drinking? Was my poor little James drink who forced him to drink? Who forced liquor down his throat? You tell me right now. Because I will tell you no man in this restaurant does anything wrong unless a woman forces him to.

1:06:36Ben Mandelker: He's just a broken bird. So, like, okay, let's go celebrate Pride. So now it's more fun time. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. And they all... Yeah, Stassi calls everyone upstairs to this balcony area to put, like, little, like, glitter stuff on their face and everything. And I'll tell you, the one who wants to do it the most is Jax Taylor. yeah so Jax is miserable to be there and meanwhile Kristen is putting flower crowns on everybody but to Krista it makes Kristen look like a flower girl at a wedding just walking down the aisle because she's just like I want a flower crowns petals are dropping all around here comes the caca all dressed in caca so Jax is like yeah anytime I don't have to take off my shirt on and put glitter all over my body is always a fucking plus.

1:07:30Fucking gay pride, am I right? I've had enough gay pride. It's how I played my fucking rent in Miami. I don't need this shit. To you, it's gay pride. To me, it's revisiting trauma, all right?

1:07:44Ben Mandelker: So then Lala and Sheena are having this moment where they're just, like, hugging, and Sheena's like, if you put your heart in my heart, then our hearts are touching, and that means that, like, we're bonded forever.

1:07:59I was just, Rob came, he was like so sweet. He was like, if I don't like you anymore, I'm going to fucking leave you, you stupid skank. And then he was like, don't let people steal your smile. I'm not going to lose it until like he walks out the door. It was like the sweetest thing I've ever heard. But you know, like we haven't had sex in a week and I'm blaming Katie for that because that's contagious.

1:08:17Ben Mandelker: I function best when he's functioning best and when he's happy, I'm happy. And if something's bothering him, it's bothering me. And the other day I was like laughing and then suddenly I stopped laughing. I was like, oh my God, did Rob just stop laughing? and I don't know, now my smile's missing. And Lala's like, Sheena looks like she just lost 10 pounds. I wish someone would treat me like shit. I know her not eating right now has everything to do with being stressed about drops. This is not healthy. Take down a chicken sandwich or two. So now more gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. and then Jax is behind the bar and Ken rolls up because everyone's festive and Jax is just in a t-shirt and also surly and looks like he wants to gay bash the people there he does he's like fuck gay pride he's got a little flag he's wearing a shirt Jax this is a straight restaurant you have blown more guys than anybody here could you at least have a little decency and take off your fucking shirt you've already done the work Might as well enjoy the parade So then The crowd of people parts It's like the Red Sea and Ken Motorsop

1:09:35Ben Mandelker: Take off your shirt

1:09:40Everyone, everyone I've worn my very special large Easter hat Which we all know Has a large brim to stop people from hugging me So please, gays Keep a ten foot radius Now I would like to introduce myself. I'm Lisa Vanderpump gay icon Woman of the world woman for the people you might know me as the woman who introduced our first black character six seasons in and gave her three lines and a com-stained couch And now I am here to introduce you to our first trans-american waitress Billy.

1:10:20Ben Mandelker: Oh, thank you so much Thank you so much. So what is it? Our Trans Am waitress, Billy Lee. Automobiles are important to this restaurant, Billy. It's really, it's an honour just to be here. She doesn't know what she's talking about, but it's an honour anyway. Transistor radio waitress extraordinaire, Billy Lee. It's close, it's close. You're getting closer, sort of. Sorry, what is it? The Trans, I don't know what that is. What is it? Oh, truck. Oh, Billy Lee. Go ahead, tell us. Hi, everyone. My name is Billy Lee. And I'm just here to say that it's just an honor to have a few lines on Bravo Television.

1:11:07So thanks for having me.

1:11:12Ben Mandelker: And I'll just pop up, you know, every few seasons for the next few years, and I'll see you around. You know, I went through a time where I just wasn't very accepted and I was filled with a lot of shame. That's why we hired you, darling. The rest of the cast feels exactly the same. Welcome to Vanderpump Rules! So, this is actually a really good moment and Jax has a really cool reaction, which is... I didn't know she was transgender. I mean, whatever she did looks great. And then he walks up to her and he's like... He goes, Jax says to Billy Lee, Billy Lee, who has probably been the brunt of so much hate and transphobia and just general tough times, Jax is like...

1:12:06Ben Mandelker: And that's just from Katie.

1:12:12Ben Mandelker: Jax goes, trying to be someone you're not? I've been living like that my whole life. yes Jax you are the true hero of the trans story finally the hero of the trans movement Jax ladies and gentlemen and he's like yeah I didn't know she was a transgender I mean what the fuck whatever you did you got your money's worth I'd fuck her fucking

1:12:41so he's like you look amazing and she goes yeah you know it's just a lot of surgeries but my vagina is amazing Remember every time they had Billy Lee on She's like, my vagina's so good, you guys Do you want to see it? And they're like, no So he's like, yeah, I've been like this my whole life She goes, yeah, you know, Jax I know you have your own shit and your own drama But I really like your vibe, you know And I looked at you and I was like, that guy That guy's going through shit And that guy Has coke Let's be friends Let's be friends

1:13:14Ben Mandelker: So now we got to James. He's like, you're a good fat slut. This is one of the good fat sluts over here. I love you so much. Yeah, you're so close, but no cigar. No cigar if you know what I mean, fat sluts. And Raquel's just sitting there like,

1:13:40no, not back then. it wasn't Rachel. I'm not dead naming her because it's like back then. So Rachel, or Raquel, top, top, look what you've done to me, lady.

1:13:53Ben Mandelker: So James is wasted and he's just like dangling all over Logan and then he does this thing where he does like a face plant right over Jax's crotch and Logan goes, grab his balls, grab his balls. Yeah. So Stassi's like, look at all this stuff I did for Pride. I got, like, there's gay people out there. Good job, darling. You've done such a good job. I'm so glad that on Gay Pride I could give a non-homosexual person a chance to move up in the world. Darling, you've done that. So Schwartz is like, oh, I want to do a shot out there. You know, it's some work in progress. And Katie's like, aren't you drinking beer today?

1:14:40Ben Mandelker: Yeah, but I've done nay shots, not even one shot. I think every little boy deserves a shot. And Katie's still in her positive mood. She's like, yeah, I've been trying to work on being a more calm, easygoing wife. And you know, like, Tom's working on not blacking out, so.

1:15:05Ben Mandelker: Yeah, Baba, come on, I rarely black out more than once in a day. so they've decided that's progress so they make out so then James and Logan is so hot so then James like you won't grab on me balls don't you take you just grab on them right there just grab on them if you want to you can't escape pride your best mate right you love me right yeah yeah love never I love you I I love you so much. Yeah, you love me more than that. You, like, really love me. Shut the fuck up. You're, like, fucking what a fuck. I give you a draw. Raquel's literally, like, right here, like. Raquel's taking notes. So. So, and then he, like, remembers.

1:15:54Ben Mandelker: He's, like, he's, like, yeah, Logan, you know, I love you. And I love Raquel, too. I love you, too, Raquel. You're someone that I definitely love. I got you a draw. A draw behind a room divider. Yeah. Logan's like, oh, you're here, Raquel. Hi. She's like, I have this thing that you pull on a handle, and it comes out, and you put stuff in it. Yeah. Give me your balls. Someone touch your balls. Put your balls on me. So poor Raquel, you know, back then. And so James is like, oh, you know, I love you. I love you, mate. And I know Raquel loves you, right? Raquel, come to life. Someone plug in Raquel.

1:16:36Plug in Raquel. Please.

1:16:39Ben Mandelker: So James is talking to Logan. It's like this weird fever dream of this James and Logan thing. It's like it's all over the place. And then he's like, you know, Logan, I'm never losing you as a friend ever. Cut to next week. So you guys fucking... What? Never. I'm never going to talk to him again. I'm not even friends. No, my bro. And Jax is just watching them all over each other. He's like, who's the top? And who's the bottom?

1:17:12Ben Mandelker: So, uh, Sheena. Sheena, I just want to remind everyone that it's very important to Sheena that everyone stop talking about Rob. So meanwhile, we go over to Sheena talking to Brittany. I feel like I've just been, like, so angry this week because of all the stuff with Rob. You know? And, oh, you gotta stay positive, Sheena. Yeah. I just can't even eat right now because I'm so stressed out and Brittany's like oh really cuz whenever I get really upset I'm like the complete opposite. I want to eat. I'm so hungry. I could write anything sweet. Okay? Anything to make me feel better. Okay, chocolate wasted is a real thing That's why I still love Brittany the best cuz I can relate like I don't get these people like oh my god I was so stressed out I couldn't eat Fuck you We fucking bragging about am I supposed to feel sorry for you get the fuck out of here you won you won life

1:18:10Ben Mandelker: Darling, you look like you might be three ounces underweight. Is everything okay? What's going on, my dear? Well, let me sit down at the table. Like, it's so hard. How long do you have? I'll make this really quick, okay? I've worked for you for like seven or eight years. Well, I can see something's going on with you. The way that you keep picking up your phone and listening to ha, ha, ha, ha, ha on the other end. It's odd. Uh, don't you don't look yourself. I would say you're five pounds thinner. She goes, oh my god, I know. I feel physically ill. I'm trying to eat, but I can't. Here, have some goat cheese balls.

1:18:47She's like, oh, no, no, no, no.

1:18:49Ben Mandelker: Are you not eating? You already have the job. It's like, I'm trying. I'm trying to eat. You know, but I let them affect my relationship. I don't know if you heard, but I lost my smile this week. Oh, no. Yeah, Katie Christmas, Sasha, you're so mean to me. I'm like happy when I'm not around those girls. Why are you investing in it, darling? Why are you letting it affect your relationship? You've got a perfectly decent man who loves you. None of that is true, but let's just say it was. You know, I remember having conversations. You have to stop trying to pretend like everything's so perfect. I remember having conversations with you about Shay.

1:19:33Ben Mandelker: And you're like, oh, everything's fine. Everything's fine. And we see a flashback to 10 months ago. I thought Shay was like two years before Rob, but she was still with Shay 10 months ago, being like, everything's great. Like Shay and I, it's like the best marriage of all time. We're going to be forever. I worked so hard with Shay. When he was an alcoholic, like I had like 12 drinks in front of him. You know, I thought it would be like supportive, you know, like at least one of us still gets to drink. And it ended, it ended. We had a joint Halloween costume. I was print too and he was canvas. Yeah, but Rob's going to work out.

1:20:11We're like meant to be together. Okay, well, at least you're eating, darling. You're not in a fit state to work. Not that anybody here really does anyway. Just stay there. Joe, Joe, please give her a croissant.

1:20:28Ben Mandelker: You're welcome, darling. This calls for emergency measures. Making someone at this restaurant eat something. So she just grabs a random turkey sandwich on a croissant. Like, whatever's coming out of the restaurant, the kitchen next, she just grabs it, and she's like, Here, Sheena! Here, eat this! And you see Sheena looking at this plate of food. She's never seen a plate of food this big before in her life. Um... So then we see Sheena and Rob sitting down, and she's like, I'm just so much happier when you're around. I'm just like, I don't let him affect my role. Look how happy we are. We're happy, right?

1:21:12Ben Mandelker: I'm so happy. The whole day I've been so frustrated. I'm just like a fucking psycho girl who makes things up in her own brain, but then seeing Rob and him hugging me and telling me we're good just makes everything else go away. It's all happening. Baby, I want you to think of it like this. You're a tree in a park, and I'm a runner, and I see you, and then I just pass you by and go on with the rest of my life. Does that make you feel better? Oh, my God. I got my smile back. Oh.

1:21:51Ben Mandelker: Nothing that a turkey sandwich on a croissant can't fix. So then Jax sees Brittany, and he's like, wow. You were really crazy in there. It's like, yeah, it was really busy. I worked the entire three-mile march in these heels. And then I worked for five-hour shifts in these heels, too. I was so excited about it. Let me just tell you. I was so excited about it. He's like, your feet are probably really stinky.

1:22:18He's like, you look pretty, so pretty. Give me that money. Give me that cash you made. Give me that tip. Give me the tips. And she's like, he's just such a tarver sometimes.

1:22:30Ben Mandelker: He's like, you look pretty, by the way. And then she tells us, sometimes I think Jax is just a real charmer.

1:22:40So, basically, she's like, go give me a show, Jax. Okay, so now we go over to Pump. So now James goes up to Lolly. He's like, you're still mad at me, baby. You're still mad at me. Come on. Come on, Lolly. She's like, here's the things. I love you very much. You are one of my dearest friends in the world, but if you ever come for my slightly overweight, double chicken breast eating ass crack of a man again, I will curb stomp the fuck out of you, motherfucker. Do you understand? He's like, come on. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1:23:16Ben Mandelker: Listen, I trust you. Okay? And when you talk to someone that way, it makes me not feel safe. Okay? Am I safe in this relationship? Friendship? And he's like, yes, Lola. And you have nothing to be worried about Lala you can feel safe with me even though you're a slut and you can tell me anything and I'm sorry I'm really fucking sorry. I didn't mean anything. I just say things sometimes You know look I'm an idiot. Okay, and I'm not allowed to do that you ever again I fucked up, but you also do fucking deserve your stupid fucking slots

1:23:50so they make up and he's like we're going to talk it out next time there's something wrong completely maturely it's James and Lola forever and he's like I love you give me a kiss and Logan just pops up and he's like yeah yes bitch so we kind of end up happy but then Kristen is like

1:24:12Ben Mandelker: caca caca so I noticed that things were getting happy after Pride and I was like fuck straight people so I called Britney's mom and I was like get your white out get it on your lips and get on a fucking plane I got a job for you so Jax and Britney are at home thinking it's just gonna be a typical afternoon and he takes a really a psychotically large bite of that apple like that really should have been the sign he'd like really he bit right into the corner he's like and she goes J-A-Y-X you always ate the biggest bite of apples and Christian's like knock off I got a surprise for you and in walks Sherry she's like hi Jackson what have you done to my daughter and she just see Jax coming behind the door he's like

1:25:19Ben Mandelker: and seen. And that is Better Bump Rules. Thank you very much. Thanks, Detroit, for coming out tonight. You guys were awesome. Have a great night. See you on the People Movers. We love you guys. Thank you, Detroit.

1:25:36Ben Mandelker: Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.

1:26:14Ben Mandelker: Jamie. She has no last name-y. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. K, sirrah, sirrah, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sills be. Brigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

1:26:54Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.

1:26:57Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes, we canna, it's Sadana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn skippy, it's tippy. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master, the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran We got our wish, it's Jen Plish She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch Knock knock knocking on Katie Manok's door My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo We love him madly, it's Kyle Podshadley In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters.

1:28:06She Eases Our Woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a Chance of Meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.

1:28:12Ben Mandelker: She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We Cannot Tell a Lie, it's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plane. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She Ain't No Shrinkin' Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

1:28:36This episode is sponsored by Nature Raised Farms. There are so many complicated things on Bravo. Like opening the front door on Summer House. Or figuring out how to wear a Linfinity dress.

1:28:46Ben Mandelker: Or understanding Tom Schwartz's purpose on the Valley. In a world full of confusing choices, thank goodness for Nature Raised Farms. They believe that food shouldn't be complicated. Especially chicken. But the freezer aisle often makes it that way. Too many options, too many additives, too many compromises. Do I like complicated chicken? No. No. Chicken should be fun. Complicated chicken, not fun. Chicken should meet a higher standard. And Nature Raised Farms is free from gluten, dairy, and soy. There are no seed oils and no artificial ingredients. Also, Nature Raised Farms chicken is a good source of fiber and only between 8 to 12 grams of fat per serving dependent on the product.

1:29:26Ben Mandelker: Chicken, that's just chicken. When food is that simple, there's a quiet joy in it. And we love quiet joy. like the moment Erika Jayne puts down her microphone. Keep your life simple with your new favorite chicken. Nature Raised Farms Chicken, because chicken shouldn't be complicated. Is there anything better than your team bringing home a W? How about a personal W for your health? If you're 45 or older and at average risk, it's time to screen for colon cancer. Now the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the U.S. It's easy to put off when screening feels like a hassle, but Cologuard Plus makes it simple.

1:30:02It's non-invasive, requires no prep, can be completed at home in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. Talk to your healthcare provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only. That sound could mean a lot of things.

1:30:19Ben Mandelker: And when something's going wrong at home, the hardest part can be figuring out what the problem actually is. At Thumbtack, you can upload a voice message or a photo. and our AI-powered search will help diagnose your project. Plus, the pros we know have over 14 million five-star reviews, so you can hire with confidence. Bumtack. We know homes. Hire the right pro today.