#2913 The Valley S2E13 Part One: Fan-ning Flames on the Love Boat

0:00Ben Mandelker: Is there anything better than your team bringing home a W? How about a personal W for your health? If you're 45 or older and at average risk, it's time to screen for colon cancer. Now the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the U.S. It's easy to put off when screening feels like a hassle, but Cologuard Plus makes it simple. It's non-invasive, requires no prep, can be completed at home in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. Talk to your healthcare provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only.

0:32Ronnie Karam: There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV. Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible.

0:50Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes, like enrich yourself.

1:01Ronnie Karam: New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC.

1:29Ronnie Karam: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, everybody. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello, Ben.

1:35Ben Mandelker: Hi, Ronnie. How are you today?

1:38Ronnie Karam: Good. It's so good to be back. We just came back from a little 4th of July vacay. So feeling nice and rested and untested and blessed. Yes. I feel great.

1:51Ben Mandelker: Yes. It feels good. It feels great except for the fact that I just happened to look down at my phone right now. and right there on on social media is a big picture of Brianna Culberson shares emotional update on her family. They're utterly unstoppable. It's a picture of her with her like million children and her husband and I was like, ah, too soon. I can't look at Brianna and her family just right now. I've got a podcast. Got to be focused. Need more of a break. I'm like, listen, I'm about to recap a really toxic show. I cannot add more toxicity to it, okay? We're at the breaking limit.

2:25Ronnie Karam: I can't add a family who only lives on liver. Okay. Right now. Raw liver. Sorry. Busy. Yeah. So today is the Valley Day. We just did another Love Island recap. Those are all on Patreon. If you want those, they're both video form and audio. If you want videos of all of our recaps, most of them, except for live shows, go over to Patreon. Crappin's on demand. That's where you find those. And we will be back next week with Crappy Hour, Monday night. So join us for that. and today is the valley season two episode 13 the cruise from hell oh i was wishing i was hoping it would be the cruise spelled c-r-u-z from hell and we would finally get cruise reacting to shitty fucking upbringing just telling everybody off like i'm cruise listen up here i've had it with all of you bastards let me alone to swim in my pool yeah that would be wonderful um but you know this you

3:25Ben Mandelker: know bravo bravo does magic on a boat i mean they have an entire world an entire franchise set on a boat because they do such good work on boats and uh we have a boat episode for the valley and we we start off with this like dreamy um like coming up this episode kind of tease which is that we see kind of like hawaii and the beach and all this like lovely maui wowi kind of stuff and then people sort of showing up and it's like christened me like kaka kaka you said danny sexually assaulted someone i was like okay here we go the valley back to doing what the valley does best poison

4:01Ronnie Karam: yeah and jason yelling why are we in a world where if somebody makes a steak it can't be mistake it can't be talked about okay then why do you have a problem with everybody talking about the mistake that janet's making jason jason fucking jason jason looks so hot this episode

4:17Ben Mandelker: i'm sorry i couldn't even deal i was like why does jason look so hot god he's so annoying i get i'm really mad about these well the him being dead to you and him being hot are two separate issues in

4:27Ronnie Karam: my book i was like no i'm not into snuff films he's dead to me okay i don't get off on dead people being hot.

4:36Ben Mandelker: Well, either way, Janet was pretty terrible this episode, and it was fun times. Yeah, it was.

4:45Ronnie Karam: And Janet's like, knock me out, Kristen, knock me out. And Kristen's like, if someone fucks with my friends, I will take you down. And Kristen was in full marionette mode, which is where, you know, there's a string on the very top of her head that pulls her head up, and she, like, tilts her head down when she's mad, and it kind of bobs back and forth. And that's my favorite Kristen. and activated Marionette Kristen.

5:07Ben Mandelker: Marionette Kristen, especially when she has to storm off somewhere is a real joy. I will never forget the episode of Vanderpump Rules where she hobbled away on crutches and they just kept the camera on her. It was so beautiful. And I feel like later on in this episode, we have a visual call back to it. That was just so perfect. I was like, oh God, there's so many. Where she almost falls down the stairs. She's like, I'm furious. It's like, whoa, hold on. I just have to ascend the staircase real quickly.

5:33Ronnie Karam: unstable but it's 24 hours earlier champagne is popping kristen is engaged to luke and uh now they're going downstairs for to eat and um you know they're going to dinner so zach's like okay everybody obviously i will say several people are missing so i called janet and i basically said listen you know things with you and kristen aren't exactly like on perfect grounds and michelle's like well it's a little mean that she is in hawaii and not invited she is invited yeah why are we now making this is so janet to make a whole storyline about not being invited somewhere when she was clearly invited and included on a trip that she has no business being included on you should be

6:16Ben Mandelker: grateful absolutely and exactly she is invited yeah i mean i spent all that money itself it's not awesome they're not invited i mean i can't believe they kicked him out of the hotel it's like no they're they're invited and they're still in the hotel i mean i can't believe they were banished to a different island of hawaii that's just so mean i can't believe you called the cops

6:36Ronnie Karam: on her child her cop is serving her child is serving a life in prison how could you do this

6:41Ben Mandelker: how could you force them to go to alaska instead of hawaii that's just not nice

6:49Ronnie Karam: um so zach's like wait but this if this was switched i mean it was your engagement michelle And Jesse's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not talk about Michelle's engagement. Jesse, it's not about you, Jess. Okay.

7:04Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So I think he was making a joke, though. So Jasmine's like, I mean, Zach, you didn't even get to go to Big Bear. Remember that? Don't you want to be mad? Don't you want to be mad right now? He's like, no, it's not the same. Okay, let's not go back there. And Jesse's like, well, I mean, let's be honest. He wasn't Big Bear. He posted that he was there. So obviously he was there. right guys guys i'm on a one i'm on a roll here with these jokes am i right i'm like funny jesse you know i've got a hair because that's where i keep my punchlines all right thank you my punchline

7:32Ronnie Karam: headband just pulled that one out of my punchline headband and zach's like yeah like i would i looked really good in those bushes uh so now they're like wait where's where's danny and nia and so now of course jasmine and britney decide to be all upset again because britney's drunk and when britney gets drunk she gets those evil black britney eyes and then she starts accusing everybody of being unprofessional except her because she's like the star of the show and if she can show up everybody else can show up britney you're late for everything you missed your flight here i heard like the what are you talking about you're late for everything yeah so i mean so they're all

8:13Ben Mandelker: these people are really so miserable because jasmine's like yeah where are danny and where where are Danny and Nia taking a nap again, sleeping? And then she sort of tries to pull it back. Like, no, no, I was sleeping. You know, like, was it taking a nap? I'm like, you were trying to be messy there, okay? So Jasmine's like, I mean, how long does it take the shower? I mean, I had 10, 20 minutes to shower and I'm here. People, relax. You've got free food all around you. Eat some nibbles, enjoy yourself. It's an engagement party. They are acting like a movie's about to begin.

8:39Ronnie Karam: I've literally never cared about my friends coming. Like, do I, I don't wait to order. I don't wait, you know, fuck it. if they're late then they they're late who cares it's so weird and it's the exact same thing they were doing before about how dare they not be at this dinner when we're all forced to be here like this is call time this is work what if he's an alcoholic well i think that like yeah because then

9:05Ben Mandelker: because then britney's like well i mean if nobody's gonna be held accountable to things and i'm gonna i'm gonna leave too i'm like you guys are such shitty friends this is like kristin's engagement party and you were making it all about yourselves right now and i mean it's already kind of like a sad party there's like six people there but like now that britney pulling this move and jack like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa stop this right now what are you even talking about and now i'm just you know i think i'm just like a little bit hurt because i'm so close to christine and like we're like the best friend she's like a sister to me if i had seen her engagement i would have brought her some chicken haters but i didn't get to i didn't even get to see her face uh yeah because

9:42Ronnie Karam: you haven't stood up for Kristen the entire time this season. You've been working against her and the only people that have been nice to her threw her a fucking party. And then the second they do it, you run and tell Jax about it, which is the one thing she didn't want you to do. So, gee, Brittany, I wonder why they didn't trust you to tell them to tell you that they weren't going to get engaged. You fucking nitwit.

10:03Ben Mandelker: So then everyone's still like all mad. And Zach is like, Bungie, I mean, like, who the fuck cares about Danny and Nia right now? And Brink's like, I don't care. It's like, I know, this is like, this is Kristen's engagement, sir. So then they're coming. They finally arrive. Kristen and Luke sort of finally arrive, and there's like five people there. They're like, yay. And then Danny and Nia arrive after them, and Jasmine is still like, she's still like very upset about it. She's like, oh, the stars of the show have arrived. Danny and Nia are here, finally. I'm like, yes, they put in work this afternoon.

10:35Ben Mandelker: They had to go on the fishing, boat under false pretenses. They had to lie on a fishing boat for like hours. Yeah, they already shot all day.

10:42Ronnie Karam: These people tried to get Kristen to take a shower all day. You think that was easy? They deserve a fucking nap. It's like trying to get a kid to eat their broccoli.

10:53Ben Mandelker: You don't understand that they just had to spend 90 minutes coming back from the deep sea listening to Kristen saying, but I just want to confirm there are no dolphins, correct? Because if there are, we should turn around this boat.

11:04Ronnie Karam: Were you kidding about the dolphins? I took a shower to be with dolphins.

11:12Ronnie Karam: They're being ridiculous. And, you know, Jasmine is my last nerve. She's standing on my last nerve. Jasmine, you've done nothing. You have nothing going on. And all you're doing is bitching about other even your girlfriends. Like, shut up, girl. My God. She's like, they can take a shower, Jasmine, for Christ's sake. So then we go to fire dancing and drugs.

11:32Ben Mandelker: I just want to say I'm proud of Jasmine because I feel like last season she was largely invisible. I mean, she played a role in some of the gossip, but she was largely invisible, and I feel like she stepped it up this season, so I say, good for you. You are being annoying, but you are being felt. You're annoying as fuck, but you're at least

11:49Ronnie Karam: fitting in better with everybody by being annoying, you know what I mean? You're becoming just as awful as everybody else, which I guess was your goal, so congrats. Congrats.

11:59Ben Mandelker: You become the Woodman Boulevard to everyone else's Van Nuys and Laurel Canyons. Look at you. You're a parallel boulevard that has an exit off of the 101.

12:17Ronnie Karam: You're like, wow, you're really Magnolia to my Burbank Crayna.

12:20Ben Mandelker: She was giving more park energy for a while, but now she's gone and become she's a woodman now.

12:28Ronnie Karam: Keep working your way up to Empire, babe.

12:33Ben Mandelker: someone's gonna be i don't know who victory is but maybe someday someone will get there

12:37Ronnie Karam: victory is close to empire right well actually i'm thinking of the empire center on victory so that's really the only location i need in the valley because that's where the marshals is and the nordstrom rack and the there's not a home goods i think there's a tj maxx there's a best buy there's a walmart i mean it's all right up there that's where it's happening baby there's an REI, which I don't go to, but I support people like my friend who needs SUV resistant body length clothing. I go there with her.

13:07Ben Mandelker: Can I say something? I know we've got a lot of podcasting to do, but I forgot to tell everyone about this. So last week, so we went on vacation and so the last thing that we recorded last week was I think Next Gen New York City. That was last Wednesday. And as soon as we were done, I was like, I'm going to game day. I'm playing board games. So guess what? Board games are in the valley. So after recording all the stuff at the valley i went into the valley i go actually go to the valley every single week for board games but like it was like i really went into the valley this time because i went to the the shops at the sportsman's lodge this this place called the sportsman's lodge they turned into this really bougie mall which is low-key like my favorite mall like my favorite mall in la right now is in the valley and i showed up it was 5 p.m and the place was had like a blanket of small children like five and under because they were doing some sort of like kitty concert in the in the little green area of this mall, outdoor mall.

14:00Ben Mandelker: Like you walk in and it was like the equivalent of Barney music. Like, I love you. You love me. And it was just like, I felt like thousands of children in scrollers. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? Why are there so many children here? I felt like, why? I feel like a kiddie concert is like an 11 a.m. activity. Why is that happening at 5 p.m.? Is this normal? Is 5 p.m. a normal time for a kiddie time? I feel like 5 p.m. is relatively safe to avoid these kind of events. I was like, ugh, the valley. It's never safe.

14:31Ronnie Karam: That's where people go to procreate. I go to that little mall all the time because I love that pizza place and Van Leeuwen's. That's the best crest in town.

14:41Ben Mandelker: I went to that pizza at Roberta's and I wanted to get Van Leeuwen's afterwards, but we were running late and the board games had to begin. But I was like, there's children everywhere.

14:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and also that little pie place is there, which is really good. Anyway, But yeah, there's kids everywhere. And that's where people go to not watch their children at all. But it's funny because they're like upper crust, like Valley kids, I guess. I don't know how you describe it. But one time I was sitting there with my friend and we were having pizza and this kid comes running back. And the dad's like, what the hell? I didn't tell you you were allowed to get one of those smoothies. That is ridiculous. this and the other one had one of the giant strawberries because it's like where you don't watch your children and they run off and they buy the fucking uh the bieber smoothie and the giant strawberry from the whole the parents were so pissed and i was cracking up i was like this is not you have to watch your children in here you know god forbid they bug us you know but don't spend your money i'm glad those kids went and wasted your damn money fools oh my god there are

15:37Ben Mandelker: just so many children and i understand that you need to have you need to do things with the kids but I just thought like, I thought five o 'clock people like to start feeding their children at five o 'clock. I was like, what, what is happening?

15:48Ronnie Karam: I was like, what's the midnight concert. They're like the Lauren Hill of children's performance. They go on at 2 AM.

16:00Ben Mandelker: She was scheduled for 11 AM, but she didn't come on until five o 'clock. But she's so good. They're like, you never know when could be their last concert come on kids were staying here all day i bought these tickets yeah oh my god i texted you and you were so proud of me that i wasn't you were like oh my god you're

16:17Ronnie Karam: in the valley yeah i was i was impressed because you know once you actually move to the valley it becomes its own city you know like you learn when i lived in west hollywood i never i went to the valley maybe a couple times a year to go shopping or whatever but now that i'm there i'm like this is actually i can see it i mean i can see it now i like it so you get used to it so uh anyway it like becomes normal you know to like to have a place to park and have you know a lot of ice

16:45Ben Mandelker: yeah i lived in the valley for for a heartbeat and that was a interesting time anyway

16:54Ronnie Karam: okay so fire dancing and drums everyone's cheering uh erin comes and of course he's late but nobody cares. That was funny.

17:02Ben Mandelker: Where was the commentary there, Jasmine? About Aaron?

17:06Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because he's just a friend of... Jasmine has a bee in her bonnet. They're really... And Jasmine I can get, but everybody else shut up. No, even Jasmine at this point, I think, enough. Enough is enough. When is it enough? How often do we have to fight about it?

17:22Ben Mandelker: You know what's funny is that when people are like... When we say that someone has a bee in their bonnet, we're usually saying, like, ugh, they're just going on and on about something. They just need to shut up. They have a real bee in their bonnet. Acting like it's like whatever. If I have a bee in my bonnet, I'm making some noise about it. I don't want a bee in my bonnet. Who wants a bee in their bonnet? That's terrible. I have a bee in close proximity trapped, pressed against my scalp. I'm angry and making noise. I don't want to be dismissed. Oh, you just have a bee in your bonnet. Yeah, damn right.

17:55Ben Mandelker: I have a bee in my bonnet.

17:57Ronnie Karam: there's a bee i think that i think that saying came out like during the depression or something when there were just much bigger issues you know people are like have lost everything well like we're in cheese lines and someone's like yeah someone's like coughing up blood and meanwhile someone's like oh my god there's a bee in my bonnet it's like i'm coughing up blood here would you shut up yeah there's like bigger things to worry about than like bees in your body but i

18:25Ben Mandelker: I also feel like for those people, for those people who had actual bees in their bonnets during the depression, I just wanted to say, I hear you. And I think it's not fair that people dismissed you just because the depression was happening. Sorry about the dust bowl, everyone. But I think I think the person to be in their bonnet deserves some attention.

18:41Ronnie Karam: There are ghosts right now with big swollen sides of their head that are like nodding and thanking you with like a single tear coming down their swollen eye. Like, thank you for understanding. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV. Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible.

19:17Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes. Like, enrich yourself.

19:28Ronnie Karam: New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC.

19:36Ben Mandelker: Is there anything better than your team bringing home a W? How about a personal W for your health? If you're 45 or older and at average risk, it's time to screen for colon cancer. Now the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the U.S. It's easy to put off when screening feels like a hassle, but Cologuard Plus makes it simple. It's non-invasive, requires no prep, can be completed at home in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. Talk to your healthcare provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only.

20:10Ronnie Karam: So Luke is, so Aaron goes, wow, so you proposed? Wow, so I guess you beat me to it. and Luke's like yeah well I've been with Kristen for a couple years now so I think I had a head start yeah well so is Luke I mean so is Aaron Aaron's been with Wetserbunds for a couple of years

20:28Ben Mandelker: especially if you were to tell if Jesse were to tell the story so Jesse's like so how do you feel now relieved because guess what in three years you guys will fucking hate each other so Luke is like yeah I feel about a hundred pounds lighter I mean we'll put it that way which is my way of saying I actually took a massive shit right before this party. I feel like, yeah, like if she hadn't said yes,

20:53Ronnie Karam: I would have like jumped into the water and they would have like played the Jaws theme and stuff. And Jussie's like, yeah, you're not cut out for this group. Okay, but congrats. So then we go to Kristen.

21:03Ben Mandelker: I was just about to say, good on you, Luke, tying your journey into the NBCU synergy that they've been pushing all summer. Like, cause this is the Jaws 50th anniversary summer. Jaws is all over Peacock. They did Jaws concert at the bowl and Jaws billboards and Jaws, everything's Jaws. And Luke, good on you to hang your engagement onto that massive marketing train. That is a savvy person right there.

21:26Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I watched the Jaws preview when it was playing on Peacock and they're like, Jaws, 50 years later, remastered, redone to look exactly the same. I know. Fast forward, like, no thanks. So then we go to Kristen talking to Melissa and Nia and she's like oh my god you guys please stay quiet about this because like my family doesn't even know like the dogs don't even know like i don't want them to get this news because there's like a time change in hawaii and like what if people know that i'm engaged it's like totally

21:56Ben Mandelker: my business top eight six which i uh yeah i think that's really what it was because as far as i could tell it was still sunny out it was august or let's say it was probably like eight o 'clock i don't know i think you're still calling your parents at 11 o 'clock to be like i just got engaged if it's 11 o 'clock in michigan i think you're still making that phone call or you're making the call early in the morning or something like that but um i think you can find a way to do it well now that

22:22Ronnie Karam: i think about it i think that she meant this idiot proposed as a secret to me without getting a people exclusive he didn't get any kind of coverage for this we could have made money on this like hello we're on a reality show like we need to lindsay this up we need to have dave quinn jumping from behind a tumbleweed on a beach being like, yes, taking the exclusive pictures for people, girl. Like Luke can't just go off and do this for free. So I think instead of beating, I think a lot of this is just her wanting to beat Luke on the head with her purse or her fanny pack or whatever she carries around.

22:56Ronnie Karam: But she can't say that. So she's like, I have to call my mom. So everyone's like, oh my God, surely nobody's going to tell. You all know that Janet is sitting down there on this phone like an abuser is getting married and her name is kristen doughty bad news everyone another terrible person finds happiness sorry janet kristen has forced me to move my family to switzerland oh did you read all that news this week so first of all that's not what happened but there was a headline that says janet caperna flees the country due to internet hate and it's because she was on a trip to switzerland and so they're like she fled the country but it was just a trip you know it was a family trip but she uh turned off her instagram and said on her podcast she was getting death threats and stuff which whoever's sending death threats to people on reality tv get a fucking life okay yeah like don't do that that's ridiculous hate people with your friends like everybody else

23:54Ben Mandelker: yeah exactly i i think like i love janet as a villain on this show i think what i love about janet as a villain is that she's just like her name is janet which is like funny for like a villain name like i think the big the big boogeyman on the show is named janet and then like it's just like no she's from a different era you know which is yeah like it it's like a name from the 50s or whatever three's company you know and i just i don't know why it's like funny it's like janet janet is the is the big the big bad on this show and she's just like this girl it's just this this this lady who's just sort of like suburban she's like a suburban mom hangs out in the ball pit in her living room avoids the low-hanging hood in her kitchen like i don't know maybe she goes get stroyo like there's something actually like very like blah about janet and i just love that she's the bane of everyone's existence both on the show and in the audience i just think that's like great

24:50Ronnie Karam: you know because i think it's a very basic manipulation tactic she used that we've all been exposed to so many times that we're just over it when we see it on tv because on tv we get glamorous manipulation normally we get like beverly hills manipulation like who was calling page six and who leaked about the dog you know whatever and on this show we just get some basic casserole b who's like who just escalates everything into this huge thing so part of this article was her saying you know and then you've got Kristen who is basically trying to ruin my child's life and accuse me of being an alcoholic because someone left a comment that said oh Janet really you had too much to drink on that day I wonder if you're a good mother and I wonder if you're you know making making a comment because Janet has been doing that to Danny and Nia all season and then Kristen made a little emoji like loop under the comment so Janet's like she's trying to ruin my child's life by suggesting that i'm an alcoholic and you know it's just so the escalation is just so ridiculous and that's yes that's the basic thing that i i know it makes me crazy and i think that that's

26:02Ben Mandelker: basically what's making everybody nuts she's also kind of like an avatar of like you know you know the the trichelles of the world because we're not we're trying not to say karen anymore for our our the lovely people in the world named karen but like she is kind of that person you know she is she is that person you see on the videos you know i'm not saying that she's um i'm not saying that she's like problematic like racially you know there's nothing like that but it's like she is gonna call the manager and she is gonna be like why are you um like riding your bike too close to my hedges and like she's just kind of like that suburban watchdog who is just gonna come i'm not calling her a dog i'm just using that expression of like what that means of someone who is kind You know, I, you know, people get crazy, you know,

26:47Ronnie Karam: you have to fall all over yourself even to call somebody a Karen these days. I mean, the whole world is crazy.

26:53Ben Mandelker: I made like three different apologies just to call Janet a Karen. Guess what? She's a Karen and she's a suburban watchdog. I'm living in my truth. I'm going to stand in it. Okay. She's a busybody. She's a suburban busybody. She's just like that lady in the, like the first season of Desperate Housewives who's like always up in everyone's business and stirring the pot and everything. and so like I understand why people just like can't stand her because like we've seen that type before and just think it's I don't know I just think it's hilarious like we just have such like you said we just have such big flashy villains on Bravo and then you just have Janet but she gets on everyone's nerves

27:30Ronnie Karam: yeah she's the worst so Mary Alice died but who is the Martha Huber Mrs. Huber was the one the first season right she had like the short hair she's the one that got killed I loved her The thing is this Well she was at least funny and entertaining Janet doesn't have that aspect Where she's also funny She's just the worst part I'm entertained by Janet

27:54Ben Mandelker: I've sort of Mentioned I am sickly entertained by Janet I enjoy Janet But she's a villain, I get it But I enjoy her, I think we're allowed to Both recognize someone's villainy and enjoy them at the same time. And I find that even when she's totally vile this episode.

28:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah, you're allowed. So then Kristen's like, well, I wouldn't put it past Janet. And Melissa's like, no, really? I don't think she will. Good people don't do stuff like that. It's like, oh, dear, sweet Melissa. Dear, sweet Melissa. So just a lot of small talk about the ring, et cetera, et cetera. And Luke's like, yeah, well, it's a 4.2 carat. So Justin's like, whoa, whoa. oh, we measuring dicks now? Luke's basically measuring his cock by the size of the ring, guys.

28:47Ben Mandelker: He's like, no, actually, I was contractually obligated to say how many carrots it is in order to get a 10 % discount from Kyle Chan. So apologies.

28:55Ronnie Karam: So messy-ass Zach is talking to Danny and Nia, and he's like, okay, well, I will say, I just had a meltdown. Like, it was absolutely insane. There was, like, a flour on a table, and I was like, why is this flour here? and then I moved it to a different table. It was crazy, you guys. Like, literally insane. I'm dead. I'm dead. Like, I was dead on the floor. I was resurrected. Then I saw that there was a water pitcher sitting on a wine table. Fell over dead. I've died twice today.

29:25Ben Mandelker: You guys, as I've mentioned a million times on this episode and last episode, can we just make tonight about Kristen and Luke? Can we not have any drama? Please by the way, you guys I think you need to have conversations with people because I think there's a lot of resentment about you Too and like I don't even know where you can even go there But like I think you guys need to have like some conversations with other people like I don't know Like maybe it's like Brittany. Maybe it's other people like you need to talk about people Okay, because I think they're happening anyway. This no drama tonight guys.

29:55Ben Mandelker: No drama

29:57Ronnie Karam: And then we cut to Brittany's face. I'm just like

30:03Ronnie Karam: then we cut back and he's like but can you say who it is at least like multiple people it's multiples it's britney it's another britney three britneys there's three britneys here they're all very upset jasmine you know i mean like they were mad that you guys weren't down here and she's like but wait was it me specifically because like i was i was i was giving a shower to my sheets

30:27Ben Mandelker: because they sprayed the under here hey hi hi i feel like they're talking about me over there but i'm like maybe they're not talking about me i don't even know this is funny and then jasmine's like i heard my name too i'm getting mad right now yeah i'm not allowed to have any drama tonight that's for sure that's why i was gonna leave this party early and cause the drama okay i know jasmine

30:50Ronnie Karam: and britney who just threatened to leave the party because other people weren't on time are like i I don't want any drama today. So, and he's like, that's a bummer. Like, I love these people. These are my friends, you know? Let's just address it. So, Brittany's like, okay, everybody, come on, come on, come on, everybody, come on. So, Danny's like, ah, so, was Brittany just talking shit about us? Was that who it was? How could she?

31:13Ben Mandelker: We've got 18 under three. 18 under three. Daniel, stop it, Daniel. Daniel, not now, Daniel. I'm gonna talk to him.

31:21Ronnie Karam: I'm gonna go over there, I'm gonna say why I oughta. No, I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it loud and proud. Why I oughta.

31:28Ben Mandelker: Don't let them take your peace, Daniel. Don't let them take your peace, Daniel. Daniel, Daniel, where's your peace? Did they take it? No. Hold on.

31:37Ronnie Karam: You are my peace, baby. You are my peace. Daniel, here's a little. Smack, smack.

31:42Ben Mandelker: Oh, don't take your peace. Leave your, keep your peace. They said that like a million times this episode.

31:48Ronnie Karam: Yeah, this episode was just keep the peace. like don't let them take your piece don't take it don't let them take your piece that's what Texans tell each other at the movie theater yeah I'm gonna go see it don't let them take your piece okay don't let them take your piece because there's signs on the movie theaters

32:04Ben Mandelker: here that say no guns allowed oh that's different P-I-E-C-E don't let them take your piece I got

32:11Ronnie Karam: the right I got the right Tom Cruise can carry one in this movie I can too

32:18Ben Mandelker: so then they wrap up this little party and everything and christine's like it's time to get gtfo that stands for get the out it's baby making time so um then they're just walking away

32:30Ronnie Karam: my sister has been walking around going oh my god um i can't even wait what is she saying damn it i'm ruining it now i don't give a i think she's saying gaff i do gaf no but she's saying I think she's saying, I don't gaff. She's like, I don't gaff.

32:49Ben Mandelker: Because her kids always say that. I de gaff. I de gaff.

32:52Ronnie Karam: I don't gaff. Okay, so I'm like, wow, you're quick. I just got her to stop saying, that is the bomb.com.

33:02Ben Mandelker: Did your dad ever send you something that said LOL, but he meant lots of love? Because I had a phase with my dad with that, where he was like, LOL. I was like, love you, dad. And he wrote back, LOL. well and i was like he goes lots of love please not what that means

33:24Ronnie Karam: okay so luke gives a little speech and then chris is like we're leaving it's baby making time i took a shower this morning so um they dinner's over pretty quickly and danny's like but wait i just want to say it's not just me and i leaving okay everybody you can calm down over here i I just got them. Nailed it. Nailed that one, guys.

33:46Ben Mandelker: So then Luke and Kristen go to their honeymoon suite, which does have all the petals, the hibiscus and rose petals, but they're like, we're tired. It's a lot of time on that boat, so they just go to sleep. And now we go over, the rest of the gang goes over to Jason and Janet's suite, and they're all like, you know, sitting in the living room, all like cramped up and being jokey and everything. And they're like, where's John and Jason? They're like, over there. Oh my God, they're like, right over there. That's crazy. Jasmine's like, yeah, I said, bitch. I said, wake up, bitch. And she's like over there listening, not even saying anything.

34:17Ben Mandelker: And then we cut to Janet and Jason inside their room. And the lights are off and they're trying to sleep, which was funny to me. But I'm like, you have a cameraman in there, so you can't act like you're trying to sleep. Like there's a full on third person in your room right now. But OK, I'll buy the fantasy right now.

34:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I wasn't even sleeping. She's just like, I mean, I didn't think they were going to be here. It's really awkward that people are partying after a party that we weren't even invited to. Now here we are. We have to be subjected to this. This could harm our child. This could harm our child.

34:48Ben Mandelker: Well, then how did everyone get in your room in the first place? Did you let them in? I mean, people don't just walk into hotel rooms and party. I mean, I guess they could. Well, because it's a shared room, right?

34:56Ronnie Karam: I think everybody has a suite. And so I think it's like the presidential suite where they're in one room and then Jasmine is in the other room, right? Oh, they're sharing with Brittany. Yeah, they're sharing with Brittany.

35:06Ben Mandelker: That's right. Well, they are sharing with Brittany. So Brittany brought everyone in. but yeah they're in there being like this is so awkward I'm like honestly it's really not that awkward and I think that actually Janet over blew the whole situation if I were her honestly I would have gone to the engagement thing and I would have going back to what you said before and what we've said millions of times on this episode what you said on our Love Island episode which is that like just be an adult and even if you have issues with Kristen good or engagement party and wish her the best because adult you can do that you don't start any fights you can even say something like i know we're i know we have issues but like fundamentally i want you to be happy and i'm i'm really happy for you too and i know we'll we'll get through what we're getting through but it's not about this right now it's about you being happy and i'm i'm here you know like some something like that instead of being like well i'm not gonna go like i understand what she's trying to say later on like she doesn't want to like if she doesn't want to intrude you know knowing that kristen doesn't like her very much but she also like like she's in this weird limbo where she also doesn't want to stay away but it's like just be an adult and go and just don't start a fight like how many people go to parties for people that they don't like everyone be the bigger casserole janet okay so but she's not she's an asshole and she's gonna lie and say

36:22Ronnie Karam: that she was victimized by not being invited because she's janet so um they're all having a really good time and um zach's like oh my god kristen and luke let's pray that the sperm reaches the egg is that how it works is that how it works i learned everything about baby making from the opening credits of look who's talking so please let it be voiced by christy alley that's all i'm

36:47Ben Mandelker: asking that's all i'm asking from beyond the grave beyond the grave christy alley

36:51Ronnie Karam: it's time for a christy alley comeback through kristen's birth vagina

36:56Ben Mandelker: i still have not accepted that christy alley died by the way it's been like three years i I still don't believe that it's really happened.

37:03Ronnie Karam: I know every time I need to see like an offensive tweet by someone that I used to really revere, I get sad.

37:11Ben Mandelker: Did I tell you the story? I think I did tell you the story, but I'm going to tell it again because R.I.P. Christy Alley. I met someone who worked on Veronica's Closet, a writer on Veronica's Closet. And he said, you know, like around the holidays or at the end of the season, a lot of times the stars of sitcoms or TV shows will give like presents to the whole staff. and she gave everyone a bird.

37:40Ben Mandelker: Christy's like, Christy Alley got like 100 birds in cages, I guess, or I don't know, maybe it's just for the writers, but she got everyone a bird in a little bird cage.

37:48Ronnie Karam: Wow, that is so her. It's like an annoying gift. Like, here's the gift of something that will annoy you every fucking day. Don't birds live forever? Like, don't they live a really long time?

38:00Ben Mandelker: some do i don't think all of them do based on the ones i've seen lying dead on the sidewalk but um i used to be a pa on a i used to be a pa on a show called three sisters which um had many had many interesting people on it uh but one of them was aj langer who played ray i think she played ray ann on my so-called life and she got a um she got a cast gift for everyone she made everyone these scrapbooks it was like it was like a little yearbook and she give them to everyone on the crew except for me it's like ben is not a sister after she forgot about me that sucks all those oh it was fine it was just like aj langer

38:47Ronnie Karam: yeah aj aj linger you're a low hooded

38:53Ben Mandelker: you're a low so nice actually i think it's because i was relatively now yeah i wasn't on the first thing you rue the day i hope you rue the day you didn't give me a scrapbook

39:04Ronnie Karam: yeah i hope i hope aj was one day gifted with a parrot that she's stuck with so i looked it up and birds it varies they can go from a few years to over a century songbirds listen they're the most innocent they die young so we know that they only live for a few years but parrots can live like 80 years and some birds live over a century so which birds live over a century i don't know i'm just reading the little overview but it says smaller birds uh uh for example some small songbirds yeah large parrots can live for several decades or some even reach 80 years or more but it doesn't You can go over a century.

39:43Ben Mandelker: The longest living bird species, according to Google AI, include albatrosses, parrots, especially the cockapoo, and certain birds of prey like Andean condors and hawks. Cockapoo parrots can live up to 90 years in the wild. And, yeah, so.

40:00Ronnie Karam: AJ, I hope somebody gives you a cockapoo parrot. So suck it. That's what you're going to get.

40:06Ben Mandelker: Oh, my God. The cockapoo parrot looks crazy. Look at it.

40:10Ronnie Karam: look up the cockapoo parrot the cockapoo okay it's definitely the janet of parrots

40:17i've never seen a parrot like this oh my god it's huge and it has a crazy beak oh it looks like a squirrel no not a squirrel a beaver it's a bird like an owl beaver wow but somehow it's a

40:30Ben Mandelker: it's not just a bird it's a parrot it's huge it's like the size of like a capybara maybe Maybe that's why it's called a kakapo.

40:37Ronnie Karam: Those are pretty cute. Those are cute birds. I want one.

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41:03Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes. Like, enrich yourself.

41:14Ronnie Karam: New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC.

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41:57Ronnie Karam: So Janet is like, wow, I'm just not sure what to do. Like, I don't want to have a dramatic exit of leaving the trip early, but I don't feel comfortable staying here. I just don't know what the move is. What do I do? What do I do? Oh, God, Janet, curl your hair again and go to dinner for fuck's sake. So they like victimize themselves in bed. And then the next day, Mia's like, it's a great day to have a great day. And everybody I've ever known that says this cries all the time. Amaya Papaya. says it on love island she's the most recent one who cries a lot um but people who say it's a great

42:36Ben Mandelker: day to have a great day cry a lot yeah i think that's a good theory look at your own lives and tell me i'm wrong it's a great day to have a great day is there a bad day to have a great day

42:48Ronnie Karam: like what a bad day to have a great day everything's going to shit i'm the only person having a great

42:53Ben Mandelker: day i know i guess there are those days like you're having a great day but then like someone has terrible news and you're like, but I'm having a great day.

43:01Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Could your husband pass away on a different day? This is a good day for me. I just want to scratch off.

43:09Ben Mandelker: So Kristen wakes up and her phone dings and it's Jax and he says, congrats. And she's like, oh, I'm sorry. What? I didn't even know there were.

43:21Ronnie Karam: Google headline People magazines, Jax Taylor's exclusive about his feelings about Kristen getting engaged. Damn it, Luke.

43:32Ben Mandelker: So she's like, I just want to know who told Jax. Like, that was the first text that I woke up to. I'm like, well, this is on you now because now you've had a lot of time to call your parents and you haven't. I'm sorry. You're a public figure. Too many people know. It's going to get out, Kristen. You should have called them right. You should have woken up your parents. That's just what you should have done. So Kristen is like, Jax, tell her nose? Like, fucking loud mouth. Who's literally going to tell everyone under the sun? And she's like, I literally haven't even texted my mom, my sister, my brother.

44:00Ben Mandelker: Like, anyway, wait a second. It was one thing if you're like, I haven't called my family because they're asleep. But if it was just about a text message, I mean, girl, you could have fired that off anytime last night. I actually do not feel bad that you didn't get a chance to text yet.

44:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I think it's I think it's media, as she means. But whatever. Who knows? I think you're right.

44:21Ben Mandelker: I think that's what the I think that the code it's. yes it's code for like i didn't get to arrange with okay magazine yeah so everybody's like oh

44:29Ronnie Karam: my god okay magazine so everybody's like oh my god how in the world would jacks find out then we cut to britney and she's like oh hi christine and she's like um what's up uh how does jocks know they're on vacation oh well i told him but i said not to tell anything i mean how could he How could he do this to me? I can't believe Jax did this to me. How could he do this on your special night? How could he do it on your special night?

45:00Ben Mandelker: Our note taker, Shelby, says, Ben was right last week, and I'm going to take the credit. I have no idea what I said, but I'm going to say, aha, I was right. Whatever I said, I was right. Atta boy, Ben. Thank you. I predicted something. I don't remember what it was. So Kristen's like, well, I mean, I didn't want him to know because he's going to text the whole boy's chat. Hey, Dad? Yeah, and I didn't even, like, I mean, we didn't even get to tell our family yet. Are you fucking kidding me? Jax Taylor told someone something. I can't even believe it. Why would he, why the fuck would he text the boys?

45:31Ben Mandelker: I don't even know. By the way, do you mind? I invited Jax. He's going to be here in about two hours. That's okay, right?

45:37Ronnie Karam: I told Jax he could be the, he could be the preacher at your wedding. He's so excited. You know that Brittany called Jax like, you cannot believe what happened here. they had an engagement for christian and didn't even invite me how could they do that that should

45:52Ben Mandelker: be my special noise yeah and she's and she's still wondering why like she was kept out of a secret as she goes like the first secret that she's entrusted since this becomes public is she completely destroys in the first place so the worst person in the world the worst person that you're also divorcing like why are you sharing details with the person that you're divorcing Even if you are calling about like coordinating, um, coordinating, uh, uh, school for, for cruise, you know? So Kristen's like, I mean, we wanted to tell people it's like really hard. I was going to send a special letter to Lindsay Buckingham and maybe, I don't know if he would Mac who remains in the more play at our wedding.

46:31Ben Mandelker: I don't know. It's just like trying things out loud, but now it's like all ruined because of you. Thanks a lot. Yeah.

46:36Ronnie Karam: So then we go to Jason and Janet and he's on his laptop. She's like, um, how long do you think you're going to have to work today? because I'm hurting over here. And he's like, okay, how are you feeling? She's like, well, I mean, it was just like so awkward that everybody was in here celebrating. I'm so personally attacked. And he's like, well, you know, last night was the first night I realized that like our living room is actually part of the room. Like we were basically hosting, Jason, Jason's too stupid to be a lawyer. Can somebody explain to me how Jason's a lawyer? He's too much of a dumbass.

47:08Ben Mandelker: I know. And Jan's like, I know. And that's why, I mean, I was upset when they showed up. I was just like, I just wanted everyone to disappear. I mean, what's more awkward leaving early or staying and kind of quietly staying around the group. I just don't know what to do. I'm like, Janet, you've been grappling with this for way too long. This should be a five minute decision. And then you move on. The fact that you're still hemming and hawing over this. I really can't. I empathize with the turtle that they showed right before this that was swimming in the ocean. And I like poked its head out like, I'm not meant for this.

47:36Ben Mandelker: I'm not. I just want to be regular turtle, not sea turtle. I take it all back I can't do this anymore

47:42Ronnie Karam: The only realistic turtle He's like god this is fucking hard I have to swim all fucking day

47:48Ben Mandelker: I know Why can't I be a palm turtle Like 95 % of all the other turtles Why can't I just be a lounge turtle

47:56Ronnie Karam: Like why am I in the fucking ocean So Janet's like I mean this is just really hard Because when we got engaged Kristen was one of three people in our kitchen Celebrating, bumping her head on that hood I mean, it was just now. Now. Well, yeah, maybe you shouldn't have betrayed her and thrown her under the bus and treated her like crap for two years in a row. Genite.

48:19Ben Mandelker: Yeah. But also she said that she's one of three people that was at our house at seven in the morning when we got engaged. Why did you get engaged at seven in the morning? Or did you have like a it's either one of two things. You either got engaged at seven in the morning, maybe before he went to work, which is very unromantic. Or you guys got engaged the night before, but you had everyone over at seven in the morning, which is like, why are you having people over at seven in the morning that's way too early for a celebration

48:40Ronnie Karam: very jason to be like seven in the morning and be like okay well i gotta get to the gym before work so will you marry me okay here's your friends i'll celebrate with you um i'm gonna put my wedding ring in this drawer and go to the gym i don't want to lose it in the steam room okay see you later

48:57Ben Mandelker: hot so then janet is like when i imagine christine getting engaged i just always imagine like a really fun really happy fun celebration that i'm part of i'm like yeah you could still be part of that. You just have to put your own bullshit aside if you can possibly even imagine such a world.

49:13Ronnie Karam: Yeah. She's like, well, the best thing I could do yesterday was remove myself from the situation. So I hope she considers it a gift. Would you mind getting us one? Because it actually sounds good. I'm putting that on my Amazon wishlist. Absence from Janet.

49:32Ben Mandelker: It's available at a reduced price on Amazon Prime Day.

49:36Ronnie Karam: And Jason was like, well, you can't force him to be your friend. She's not the one who's decided they're not friends. Janet is. You guys stop rewriting this fucking history. You're both crazy. So then we see everybody else is trying to have fun and going on water slides and stuff like that. And now it's time for Kristen and Brittany to have a talk. Brittany's like, hey, we're going to have a picnic. I love a picnic. It's like they do. It's like they do.

50:03Ben Mandelker: They have a picnic in the most random area. So I mentioned last week that I stayed at this hotel and they have like these, these like public paths that you like walk down and you can walk to like the next hotel with these paths. And I'm pretty sure they had a picnic, like right next to this path. And it was like a weird place to be like, okay, let's you just sit right by where all the people can walk by. It was just like not a picnic area at all. So they put down their blankets and pretty, I can't believe, oh my God, I am so crazy. It's like, has my brain just turned into me, my beer cheese? Because honestly, I'm so sorry.

50:34Ben Mandelker: Like I don't even know what the hell I was thinking except that maybe I was angry because I didn't get to see her But anyway, I was on the phone with him because you know Cruz is school And that's the only reason why I was even talking to him and also because I like to talk to him and also I don't know if it's like a habit, but he's like He's my person for so long and I was like oh Do you have any cameras in my hotel room because I would love it if you could see me right now And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I just like I'm so used to telling him things. Oh, I'm so sorry

51:00Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I mean, I know it might sound weird, but I was on the phone with Jax in the middle of the night about Cruz's school. But, you know, that doesn't really make much sense. But Jax actually was dropping him off at AA meetings so Cruz could go in there and collect chips. I mean, have you ever heard something? He's so silly.

51:17Ben Mandelker: He's so cute. Jax, he let Cruz drive the golf cart down Moorpark Boulevard, you know, to get to Jax's. I was like, Jax, he's too young. You can't start driving that thing until he's at least four years old.

51:29Ronnie Karam: oh god jx cruises already got his first drunk driving he's already got his first

51:34Ben Mandelker: phone guy he got a dui for driving under the influence of being cute

51:42Ronnie Karam: so i want you know i called jax and i went off on him i went off on him real good i went off on him real good i said i'm giving you 18 more chances you better watch out we see a shot of jacks being

51:56Ben Mandelker: like okay sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry as he like slowly like hangs up his phone i love britney always i love britney saying oh she went off on jacks as if that has ever solved or fixed anything in their relationship ever as if that's supposed to be any sort of salvo for anyone who who hears that like oh wow okay you let jacks have it i'm sure he will feel really bad about it

52:16Ronnie Karam: yeah like you don't have let jacks have it rightfully so every 10 minutes of the day you know so kristin's like yeah it's just like a bummer because like i wanted to yell at you about something different now like i don't want you to think like i'm mad at you for this because i'm mad at you for that like i mean like if i'm not honest what's our friendship what is it what is it um i don't know lunchable it's not it's a it's it's a rhetorical question britney i don't

52:41Ben Mandelker: know what that is so rhetorical okay um okay so i don't really know what that word means but listen i'm just i'm so sorry and christian's like listen it's about janet and girls night and michelle and I are like trying to make eye contact and I'm trying to read her lips where she's like, she's trying to say, I'm not mad at you. But of course what I read instead is, um, cookie face salad potato. And I was like, why are you saying these things to me? And I was like, wait a second, look harder. And she said, I'm not mad at you. I was like, Oh, that makes much more sense. These are all the things going through my mind.

53:11Ben Mandelker: And then Janet, the whole time is looking at me like, and I was like, why are you looking at me like that? And then you don't. And I said, Janet, what the fuck with the side eye? She started screaming at you. And like, I don't need you be my bodyguard but like you could say something like i don't know shut the fuck up janet something like that maybe i don't know seriously it's like well i did say something because i didn't like her

53:29Ronnie Karam: yelling at you and she goes well then fucking tell her she goes but i did and she goes no say shut the fuck up don't talk about my best friend she goes oh okay so you're saying you want me to stand up more you want me to stand up more okay i'll stand up more than she's yes like come on you stand up for her all the time and um she's like you know aren't there any repercussions for janet being a complete psycho like what the hell she's like listen you mean the world to me okay and i'm so sorry you feel like i'm not taking up for you because you know you're strong you can do it yourself you know but i should stand up for you more i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it maybe next time i'll be invited to your engagement jenna's a fucking miserable human being who could literally

54:11Ben Mandelker: can it's like i just i just i'm like up to here okay i literally can't take if i were standing up I'll be like, that's how high up I've had it, but I'm sitting down. So it's actually at a lower level, but it's a depressed level. Cause I'm sitting down. Are you following Brittany? No, not really. But guess what? She's coming tonight on the boat. You guys can be okay. Oh yeah. And I'll be totally fine. She's like nothing to me. I'm like a famously very chill around people. I don't care about it. So yeah, she'll be fine.

54:34Ronnie Karam: She's like a piece of fucking cardboard to me. Listen, cardboard is very important to some people. My friend, Michael sent me a video of Susan powder who I haven't seen in ages on the TV. For those of you who don't remember Susan Powder, back in the early 90s, she was the diet lady on infomercials who would go, people, you need to eat, breathe, and move if you're going to be thin. Eat, breathe, and move. She was like this bundle of crazy bleach-headed energy. Stop the insanity. Stop the insanity. She'd be like, you know, if you don't want to be fat, don't eat things with fat. You know what I love?

55:10Ronnie Karam: You know what's my M &Ms? Capers. I just eat them by the jar full. I'll pour them into my mouth. Like she was a looney tune. And of course I tried everything she said. So anyway, she has these videos now where I guess she's arts and crafting. And when she was using egg crate cartons and she's like, I am obsessed with cardboard because cardboard, it's never the same. Look at all of these egg crates. Do you even know they're egg crates? Nothing like egg crates because they're art now. and they are like that because of cardboard now let me tell you something tomorrow i am going live i don't even know what i'm going to talk about i just know i'm going to go live you're going to be here and amazing things are going to happen with cardboard i will see you tomorrow

56:03Ben Mandelker: well maybe there was a susan powder fan in the post-production department on the valley because when kristen says she's a piece of fucking cardboard we get a big old like wow the cardboard's not gonna like to hear that the cardboard lobby sends out an official statement we do not like being denigrated in this way cardboard is multifaceted and as our ambassador susan powder once declared we are never the same we are not monolith okay guys

56:26Ronnie Karam: is not monolith how is card how is big cardboard gonna fight against the valley some is susan powder still alive someone find susan powder introduce her to cardboard it hasn't tell her has no fat. Okay? Tell her cardboard has no fat.

56:40Ben Mandelker: We need to change the image around cardboard. People need to know that we are strong, we are resilient, and we will not fall apart under these conditions. Ow, I got water on me. I'm dying. I've got water on me. I'm dying. I'm thin. I'm sappy. Oh, God. I broke apart.

57:01Ben Mandelker: Poor cardboard. Oh, poor cardboard. Now we know. Is the Wicked Witch the West made of cardboard? It would all make sense. Yeah.

57:07Ronnie Karam: oh my gosh okay so um kristen's like yeah and you know what zach feels that too because she sucks you're always standing up for her and britney's like oh hey oh hey oh hey oh hey oh it's sad i make when i'm crying hey oh hey oh hey okay okay so britney's like well jenny has my trust because she's been there for me she's been a good friend to me just like kristen has my trust she's been there too so i shouldn't have to pick her shoes i shouldn't have to pick her shoes nothing but she tells the kristin that she will anyway and um so then kristin's like you know don't forget how she came into the group and she's she came through she's like yeah but she came in as a fan she goes yeah but then i met her just as a fan you met her she goes well but and she goes but i you know the first time i met janet i didn't even know she was a fan and she tells us that she met her through sheena and they had a good friendship but later she found out she was a Vanderpump rules and she's like that's not a terrible thing but it feels a little creepy now feels a little creepy now hey everyone

58:11Ben Mandelker: this is the end of part one of this recap for part two keep an eye on your podcast feed it is coming up in just a moment thanks so much for listening catch you on the second half watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alison King it's always a party on Alison Block Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster.

58:35Ronnie Karam: She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto.

58:40Ben Mandelker: Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

58:43Ronnie Karam: Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchles.

58:48Ben Mandelker: We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less.

58:53Ronnie Karam: Hava Nagila Weber.

58:55Ben Mandelker: You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie She has no less namey

59:02Ronnie Karam: She's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sips some scotch With Jessica Trotch

59:07Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock

59:10Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet With Lacey B K-sirah-sirah Whatever we'll be Will Lauren Sills be Bringing the funk It's Leslie Plunkett She gets an A from us It's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino To Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry We love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

59:35Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

59:37Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.

59:43Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell, it's Raquel.

59:45Ronnie Karam: Yes, we canna, it's Sadana.

59:48Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tibby. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.

59:56Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

1:00:03Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

1:00:06Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen.

1:00:20Ben Mandelker: It's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manok's door. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alkalani.

1:00:50Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.

1:00:58Ben Mandelker: She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafson. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Solian Pop.

1:01:08Ronnie Karam: Let's take off with Tam La Plaine. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys. This episode is sponsored by Nature Raised Farms. There are so many complicated things on Bravo. Like opening the front door on Summer House. Or figuring out how to wear a Linfinity dress. Or understanding Tom Schwartz's purpose on the Valley.

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1:01:40Ronnie Karam: Especially chicken. But the freezer aisle often makes it that way. Too many options, too many additives, too many compromises.

1:01:47Ben Mandelker: Do I like complicated chicken? No. No.

1:01:50Ronnie Karam: Chicken should be fun. Complicated chicken? Not fun.

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1:02:15Ronnie Karam: And we love quiet joy. Like the moment Erika Jayne puts down her microphone. Keep your life simple with your new favorite chicken. Nature raised farms chicken because chicken shouldn't be complicated.

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1:04:17Ben Mandelker: You can find Future IQ at Sephora or get 10 % off your first purchase at k18hair.com with code Brooke. Thanks again to K18 for supporting Naked Beauty.