#2914 The Valley S2E13 Part Two: Fan-ning Flames on the Love Boat

0:00Ben Mandelker: Is there anything better than your team bringing home a W? How about a personal W for your health? If you're 45 or older and at average risk, it's time to screen for colon cancer. Now the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the U.S. It's easy to put off when screening feels like a hassle, but Cologuard Plus makes it simple. It's non-invasive, requires no prep, can be completed at home in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. Talk to your healthcare provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only. There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV.

0:39Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible.

0:50Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes, like enrich yourself. New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC.

1:29Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

1:45Ben Mandelker: So as someone who recently just read Sheena Shea's autobiography, because I will be appearing later this month on the wonderful podcast, Glamorous Trash, which you were on when you talked about Ariana's book. I did Sheena's book. Sheena does talk about how she met Janet very briefly. And she says that she met Janet at the Sky Bar at like a fan thing. and like the paragraph was kind of like well I met this girl and she was sort of like a fan but it turns out like we like really hit it off and we spent the entire night and then we just like I don't know we started like hanging out together all the time blah blah blah blah blah so like it is confirmed that Janet was really she really was like a fan that Sheena Sheena met and just like adored and then Sheena just brought her right into the group and she infiltrated the group I wish I could find I wish I had that passage I would have read it on the air it would have been wonderful yeah um yeah man making it through sheena's book that's much more difficult than the ariana book because that one was drinks you know there were just like like your inner girl power piece margarita you know it was like much easier to get through i don't know that i could get through sheena's oh sheena's book is very easy to get through it's pure comedy the entire way from front to end it is one of the funniest reads you'll ever have everything is like well i was being bullied and it was like so mean and then like eddie eddie sabrian made me like sign a thing that says i would never speak about this and of course because i'm a people pleaser i signed it like everything is like well i didn't want to do this but i'm such a people pleaser i guess i had to do it i'm such a good person that's very sheena so she's like well i have a very tiny bottle of fox and they're almost all out i don't know if i have any more left for cardboard fan janet And Brittany's like, oh, hell, hell, hell, you weren't that folks to give?

3:39That is hilarious, Kristen. Oh, hell, hell. So then we go to boat scenes. Everybody's getting ready to go on this boat. And Janet's like, this has been planned as our last night of fun. And I was looking forward to it. And I gave Kristen her night. So now I'm going to hang out with my friends. What's the worst that can happen? Maybe I'll get thrown overboard. I can't wait to go ruin everybody else's night. Gotta have a hobby.

4:07Ben Mandelker: so then they go to the boat and um they're all they're all getting on and as they're driving there kristin butt dials britney like that would be my dream is to get a butt dial from kristin because then they're all sitting there and and all they hear is jesse saying um he's like put me in the ocean fucking sea turtles like i'm excited like what what is jesse saying and you're like fragments of kristin speaking like yeah it's a lot ocean oh cardboard Bottle of Fox running out. We better find a dolphin. They actually got really lucky with that butt dial. Because that could have been a lot worse. So now they go.

4:48Michelle and Janet are just looking like, oh, my God, there's a phone. And Michelle's like, oh, my God. Grisden is very buddy-buddy with Jazzy. And Janet's like, yeah, best friends forever and ever. Let's get her. Let's get her. So they go to the Prada Maui boat. and Danny's like yeah today's the last day of our trip I just hope we all get along if there's any kind of problems let's just put it aside I'm not gonna

5:11Ben Mandelker: let anybody steal my piece so they get hunt Luke is wearing these like like really short shorts like just showing off everything like it is like a sailor romper yeah but they're like they're up they're not only tiny shirts but he's also height them up high so like his it's not really a dick outline it is like a it's a full-on like sack bulge like it is out and in front like everyone can just see his business and i'm like what why why did he decide to have this moment like no one else was doing it i don't know he's in the stupid outfit and I go, oh my God, I see your moose knuckle. So Jana's like, Kristen's being cold, which I expected.

6:03So I'm just going to avoid her. And, you know, I'm just going to see where the live fests are in case it seems maybe better to jump. I like Dave and Buster's. I'm a casserole person, basically. So now, I don't know, it's a bunch of small. There's a lot of chatter. Yeah, there's a lot of chatter.

6:23Ben Mandelker: getting seasick and everything like oh my god are you a gay stripper and then Michelle is talking to Janet she's like so have you and Kristen said hi to each other at all and Janet's like no I don't know what to say it's just a little awkward I mean it was so hard deciding between whether I should leave quietly or I should stay and intrude I don't know it's been a dilemma I've been going through yes you've told me ten times about your dilemma yeah it has been entered into my AI yeah Yeah. So then Michelle, Janet's like, when did Jesse start being an asshole? And Michelle's like, well, he wasn't a douche when I met him.

7:01He was in a shitty one bedroom apartment and he did not have money. And it was super romantic because he had candles. But then we made money and it's real Captain Douchebag game out. You should wear an outfit that says Captain Douchebag on the boat.

7:19Ben Mandelker: I think the outfit is called Honey Company. me so um then everyone like who changes out of his outfit which is nice etc and um uh then they're all like just gathering fun things on the boat and britney's like hi jay do you want to sit with us you want it she's like no i'm gonna sit at the table that's right very close to you but like not part of you guys so you guys can see that i'm an outcast right now so i'm gonna sit here with jason thank you very much i'm gonna look as victimized as possible by sitting over here even though I've been invited to sit with other people. Thank you. And so Luke gives a speech.

7:52And then Zach's like, oh my God, you guys, there's sharks. Let's throw chum in. So sharks come. We could throw Jax Taylor in there. I'm dead. I'm like dead right now. I'm like literally mother. I'm like mother. I just mothered myself. Is that possible?

8:07Ben Mandelker: And I love in the background during all this, for no reason, we just hear Brittany go, I love bacon.

8:16is there a bacon and chicken fajitas i don't know we know britney's scent like if britney ever came out with the perfume bacon what was the thing she said last week that was cracking us up

8:29Ben Mandelker: she had some other thing that she said that chicken fajitas but there was something else aside from the chicken fajitas that she said that was so ridiculous oh well i guess it's the hot chicken fajitas i've been saying it was that and something else i don't even know life you know just rots away your brain so then so then we go to see what jacks is doing and he's with schwartz and jacks is like hey got some news guess who got engaged dodie is that crazy yeah and of course like oh it's always the bridesmaid and never the bride ah yeah well she's engaged and shorts like wait i'm actually really fucking happy for her i'm gonna text her and then i'm and text every news outlet that I can find.

9:11Ben Mandelker: Wait, no, no, I shouldn't do that. Wait, did you, you should text her. You text her. Did you text Luke? He's like, yeah, I already did, but like, I don't know if you're allowed to know, so don't text anyone. Oh, okay, all right. But I mean, I've already said something in the group chat and also at OK Magazine and to Radar Online, National Geographic and Dog Fancy. So I don't know if I missed any outlets. He's like, yeah, you know, it's the one thing that's never going to change about me. You know, I have a big mouth. That's just how I am. I got a big mouth. And then we see clips of him just telling shit over the years.

9:42I just want to thank the producers for giving us a Jack scene that does not have violin or tinkling piano music that's supposed to make us feel sad for Jacks. Thank you. I think it's the first time this season that we it's not like poor Jacks.

9:56Ben Mandelker: So now Brittany and Zach are talking on the boat. She goes, you know, I know I just should not have told Jacks. And I don't even know why, but you also have to remember that he was my person for a very, very long time up until right now and continuing going forward. And Zach is like, no, no, I agree. I agree. But I am disappointed in myself because I just I know I knew he would tell because I should have known he would tell. And I knew he would tell. And I don't know why I told him because I knew he would tell. So, you know, I appreciate that. But like, I just didn't even think about it. It's like crazy.

10:26Ben Mandelker: It's like it's like when I first got married to him, I was like, I don't even think about that. When I first met him, I was like, oh, I didn't even think about that. Oh, God, look at my pickle that I'm in. Speaking of which, do we have any pickles around here? I love pickles. With bacon. So she's like, I don't even think I'm back sliding into Jax. It's just he's my person. He's my person for 10 years. And it's like easy to meet somebody who still lives. I mean, I would still be with Jax if it weren't for everything he pulled. For everything he pulled? You married a horrible fucking human being.

10:57Okay. Before you even married him, he cheated on you. He was kicked out of Hawaii. He was arrested in Hawaii for stealing from a Sunglass Hut woman.

11:06Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Oh, my God. I forgot about that. The Sunglass Hut thing. You know, the good news, though, is that I think that rehab is really working. And I think that, like, Jax is finally he's just no longer making himself the victim of every single situation. So we go back to him. He's like, I just got out of rehab. And I got served divorce papers five minutes later. I mean, how hard about that? That's me. I'm the victim here. Okay. I mean, it's hard. And I talked to Brittany this morning about it. And I go, do you really, really want to do this? Like, are you really on board? Like, and she didn't really answer me.

11:40Ben Mandelker: I'm like, do we exhaust everything? Do we go to therapy? Like, I don't know. Like, Schwartz is like, no, no. Get divorced. Don't do this. Don't do this. Yeah. You want to stay there because she has a stream of income that you want to keep stealing, you fucking low life. and uh schwartz is like no i mean what without an angle are you trying to instill a seed of doubt and he's like i was just like can we just put a pill in it can we just put a pill in it you know what i mean because like i mean is that a bad idea you know i just got out of rehab how could she do this to me it's fucking crazy i just got out of rehab rehab isn't serving a tour you know what i mean it's not like you went and did something good for somebody he's he's making it sound like oh my god you were a jackass sir okay yeah and he's like she didn't even give me a chance to prove anything well you she did actually and you proved to her that you are not going to change because you texted her rage text the entire time while you're supposed to be getting therapy and working on yourself so you did prove something to her and she took that and she divorced your ass and so i didn't even need to add an and so that was it that was the period period on that statement so schwartz is like dude it's just a ticking time bomb and i mean i think if you moved him back together i mean you would end up in jail so oh i'm a little boy yeah um listen to schwartz i don't think i've ever said that to anybody but listen to schwartz he's actually correct in this one so he's like uh my goal is for britney um it's for like britney be to be like at the cable you know uh like we're gonna like be co-parents you know it's like a big deal because like you know it's been decades but decades been together like thank you but do the right like jacks you can't even speak at this point go get a new nose let's start there he's like well to be fair i think a lot of my resentment came from the fact that for a long time i thought she was saying we'd be coke parenting together and now i realize that that's not going to be part of it so talk about a false promise she started it so then we go back to britney and He's like, I just can't deal with this drama for the rest of my life, which is why I call Jax every night.

13:48So I'm just trying to work things in. You know, I'm like, we can co-parent. We can have chicken potatoes. We can have bacon. You know how it is. He's like, okay, let me just say this. Last night, I saw you falling back into a pattern. Like, you telling me that you've already given him privileges back that he hasn't earned? He's like, well, I mean, you know, Zooli was there. Zooli was there when he was there. so that's something like he only had the privilege to be around the nanny soon

14:16Ben Mandelker: yeah no all i say is you can come and give like wake up and like bedtime and take him to school 8 45 in the morning and then if you want to make yourself a sandwich at lunch and just like stay there for a few days or i don't know move back in like that's fine but basically that's all that that was yeah and he's like well okay these are divorced page prayers look are you gonna sign them and say yeah i'm gonna sign them i'm gonna sign them bacon

14:43Ben Mandelker: so there's just like um more there's just more boat stuff zach keeps like flopping all over the boat deck because he's like walking on boats it's like so hard and uh he's getting seasick and then um janet michelle are talking and michelle's jan's like you know it's been like somewhat of a good vacation i feel like i think so for the most part so by the way when we were doing the luau yesterday you know hula dancing etc zach wanted to talk to me um and we talked about the jenna thing and he was like it wasn't malicious and i'm sorry if i made you feel that way so he has apologized yeah and jenna's like well that's nice and she's michelle's like yes this girl jenna that erin's one zogdob with i suddenly always see her everywhere and i never are before michelle i'm sorry but you're dating somebody that fucks somebody in the friend group what do you want like you can't change the history of the group if you don't want it then don't date somebody who's fucked somebody in the friend group you chose her you chose him be more secure in it too like it's fine they slept all these people have slept with each other so it's okay so she He goes, you know, he was like, you know, I just think that other people play a role in this.

16:04Ben Mandelker: And he actually brought up Sheena and you. And so we see a flashback of like a conversation they all had together. And Zach's like, I think that like you just have to like, like you think it's like all on Kristen and like Jenna's plans and everything. But like if you look at it, Janet and Sheena, they've been like talking about it more. Like they're the ones that brought it up and they're like trying to make it a thing. So whereas Kristen never did. so he's basically like don't be mad at Kristen be mad at Sheena and Jenna instead and poor Sheena yeah that was like the subject Sheena's like the subject of all this stuff she's worked so hard to get this feud going she didn't even get to go on the cast trip so yeah well that's what my first reaction was even though Zach was the one to bring it up on camera or to bring Jenna on camera I thought this is for sure Sheena's dirty work like Sheena was all over that episode like in every plot line it was something Sheena had manufactured you know so or not manufactured but like brought up.

16:55So Jenna's like, wait, so Zach's trying to imply that it's not Kristen and Zach that are bringing Jenna around? It's somehow me and Sheena? No, he's implying that you guys are the ones who keep bringing up that Jenna was with Aaron first. And yes, that you're the ones trying to make a big deal out of it. And he's just the one that brought her on TV. And so Jenna's like, oh my God, like having some girl that's in like the outskirts of the friend group coming around and talking about when she hooked up with Erin years ago is probably the most uncomfortable thing ever. And obviously, you're my real friend.

17:27And I would never, ever try to hurt you until next season, because I've already got enough going on this year.

17:33Ben Mandelker: So I know that. And I feel that. And as someone who's going through a worse divorce than anyone right now, I appreciate that. And Janet's like, and Sheena loves you. And I know she would do anything for you, too, because she is a people appears and and she's jones like um zach if anyone's trying to say that like i'm trying to whip up stuff about about jenna you know and he's like okay wait hold on hold on i'm gonna go tell kristin and have kristin come talk i'm gonna have kristin come join me he's like i really want to have a good friendship talk with you hold on coming right down kristin come let's go yell at jenna she's like okay okay let's do it so they both go by the way i just want i just want to say that this is how you know this is a great season because i love when all the all the scandals and the fights bleed into each other because now we are going we're starting talking about how michelle has a beef with um kristin because she thinks that kristin brought jenna around to sabotage her and this discussion about what kristin was doing is then going to set up the other fight that they wind up having that has nothing to do with jenna at all but winds up being the explosive fight and And the fact that they can interweave.

18:45Ben Mandelker: I actually went back and watched this two or three times and be like, wait, how do we even get to this fight? And it's fascinating to see how these fights feed into each other and they build off each other and they're also intertwined with each other. That's a good season of a show. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV. Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible.

19:23Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes. Like, enrich yourself. New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC. Is there anything better than your team bringing home a W? How about a personal W for your health? If you're 45 or older and at average risk, it's time to screen for colon cancer. Now the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the U.S. It's easy to put off when screening feels like a hassle, but Cologuard Plus makes it simple.

20:01Ben Mandelker: It's non-invasive, requires no prep, can be completed at home in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. Talk to your healthcare provider or request ColoGuard Plus online, Rx only.

20:16So Jenna's like, okay, well, I just wanted to clear up where this Jenna thing came from. And he's like, well, but Michelle was saying, like, where did Jenna come from? And so I've known her and hung out with her. And Kristen's like, oh, I'm 17 years as long as I've known her. So it's a pretty long time. Longer than a fan.

20:35Ben Mandelker: yeah as and by the way next year it's gonna be 18 years so as one icon might say we're on the edge of 17 you know what i'm saying anyone anyone get the reference no so then zach is like yeah the week i moved her i moved here i met with sheena and like yeah she called her best friend yeah sheena's called jenna her best friend like jenna's been around like everyone knows about jenna everyone knows ben mandelker even saw jenna at like the gym once like in 2012 so look like everyone knows about her yeah but i didn't know yeah zach's like well yeah jana was around and then sheena brought you into this so yeah so basically like she was here first right and so christine's like yeah and sheena started shit that was unnecessary so uh zach says yeah all this leads back to janet and sheena all these rumors you know they're just they're just as messy as a three-year-old that just got handed a bowl of spaghetti.

21:26You know that shit's going everywhere. Did you get that? That was good, right? That was good. That's gif-a-ball.

21:33Ben Mandelker: It painted a picture because I think we can all see what the three-year-old looks like, what the spaghetti looks like, and we've seen lots of Tide commercials. So let's just use that. Let's keep going with that. I love the little comment he gets in his eyes when he's like, that's a gif. That's a gif. I don't think that our sweet mariposa is exonerated by any of this, by the way, because as much as I adore Kristen on the show, she is allied with Jesse at the moment and Jesse is out to prove, his big thing is he's out to prove that Michelle cheated on him with Aaron. And so Jenna is like perhaps a smoking gun in this situation.

22:11Ben Mandelker: So I think that Jesse for sure leaned on the powers of Kristen, Sheena and Janet to get this done, especially Sheena. I think that Sheena is definitely the one behind this the most, But I don't think that Kristen is totally like hands off on this glorious mess. So silly mess. But I don't care because ultimately you're fucking somebody who fucked within the friend group. So he's fair game. Like that's it. And now he miraculously appears on the show to promote his honey company. So it's just another fan. Well, maybe. Like come on to like work his way, worm his way into the circle. He started just like Jason, started with Sheena.

22:47And then he ended up with Janet. And then they somehow ended up getting on a show.

22:50Ben Mandelker: you know maybe we're selling michelle maybe we got away from what what michelle's really mad about maybe what she is mad about is not that he slept with jenna maybe she's mad because she knows they're trying to weaponize jenna to destroy like everything in her life like to prove that she was cheating when she was with jesse and just sort of like to to bring ruin so maybe that's maybe we've sort of i forgot that's actually what's really mad like when jenna was with him and because yeah there's a lot i think you're right that they're establishing they're probably trying to establish a timeline but i still don't care i love it this show is so good like this is amazing as we talk about it like there's so much storyline happening here it is it is yeah this is what i love our job and i love that their argument in this fight is like yeah but jenna has more of a right than you guys because jenna's been on this show for years like she's She's been a bit playing around Vanderpump Rules, and she's done all of this.

23:49So you don't get to pretend like, how can we bring Jenna on camera? Jenna's been on camera way longer than you. So they keep cementing like, we've known her 17 years, this and that. So if anybody has a right to come on camera in this crew, it's her, not you. Which I really like that they're using their years on the show against her.

24:06Ben Mandelker: I really hope that Sheena and Jenna are on some little inflatable dinghy somewhere around the aisle and just looking for the yacht. It's around the corner. I swear, we'll get on the show. We'll do it. Come on. just around the riverbend you know jenna's pulling a katie and watching all of this from a hotel balcony somewhere so yeah so they're just accusing sheena of starting all this etc and and we see flashbacks and she's like and here's another thing about zach he's drunk and he blacks out and forgets everything that he said okay oh and here's another thing but like i'm gonna like talk shit about your back we're probably against your back and here's another flashback um i don't have another flashback just like oh my god like i am just some people please i'll have one of each of the prime cocktails so michelle's like well i was very uncomfortable of what you said to aaron in the moment that you met him and she's like well right uh because like we asked aaron if he's friends with jenna because that's when i met him and i was like wait a minute are you friends with jenna because i thought he was friends with jenna like sorry i mean that was me and you at el coyote because i was frustrated because sheena's on one side and you're like on the other side screaming bloody murder and janet's like um that is not how i remember that situation and then we cut to her being like calm down oh i'm sorry that was the that was the scene that she stole um no that's janet in four years or whatever she's like no i don't remember that it was unnecessary it was unnecessary oh look michelle was not dating aaron in 2022 and i know that yeah but like Like, why did you fucking yell at me at El Coyote and go, oh, yes, you did say that, Kristen, accountability.

25:44Ben Mandelker: Accountability, air quotes. And I was like, true colors. Great song. And you've been my ass all summer telling me you want to repair things. And then you fucking scream at me like that. And now we transition into Kristen and Janet's beef, which was given. We used Michelle and Janet's situation to now bounce into this feud right here. Like, you're trying to make things better with me. and then you yelled at me at El Coyote. Well, I did want to repair things until you spread rumors about my husband. And it's like, oh my God, we talked about in person. We sat down at the shark party.

26:21Ben Mandelker: Another Jaws tie-in. We were at a shark party. Like we were literally at a shark party. By the way, that shark party, now that I say it, was totally, I'm guaranteed that NBC was like, since the Valley will be airing during the Jaws 50th, you are mandated to have some sort of shark festivity happening on your show in some way. Yeah. Brittany does really love Shark Week, though. She's always supposed to match. Shark Week! Are you here? Shark night! Shark night! I wonder those sharks like chicken plate isn't baking as much as I do. Sharks love baking! So Kristen is like, yeah, we already talked about that, and you even said this is a joke.

26:58And she's like, well, I know my husband, and I know he's upstanding and wonderful and trustworthy and committed and he would never, ever, ever put flour tortillas in a casserole. How dare you, Kristen?

27:13Ben Mandelker: How dare you attempt to murder my child with allegations like that? Hurry up, hurry up. Why are you doing this? Wrap it up. Why are you doing that? Stop doing that while I'm speaking. That's so rude. I know who Jason is. I know. What, you're going to laugh? You're going to laugh now? You are going to laugh? when he's trying to abuse me. Kristen is physically abusing me with laughter. That's what's happening. Kristen is assaulting me with laughter. Listen, I didn't accuse him of anything. I just repeated something. That's the difference. That's what I learned from Vicki Gumbelson. You're not spreading a rumor if you're just repeating one.

27:48Yeah, she didn't accuse him of anything. She just said a rumor we all heard at. We all heard the rumor. And it's like, you repeated a rumor to damage his reputation. Do you know that man stands up for corporations against workers' rights. How dare you try and come for that reputation? It is golden.

28:08Ben Mandelker: It is wild that Kristen's hiding behind this, I'm just repeating what I heard. The only person who's allowed to hide behind anything is me when I'm standing in my oven and the hood is blocking my face. So I don't know how many times that's an excuse. I mean, you're just as much to blame. Your hands are dirty and you are her gossip. And Kristen and Luke went and were like, hey, this is being said about you. So it's not spreading a rumor. But at the same time, it was only like an episode earlier or earlier in that episode when Christian was like, well, as far as I know, Jason goes out without a ring on his finger.

28:40Ben Mandelker: I'm like, you kind of did. Yes, you did tell them about it. But you also did spread the rumor in a spreading rumor kind of way. Well, yeah. Good for you. Yeah. And even she said it at the time. She's like, I don't even care if it's true. I'm just saying it because they keep fucking with Danny and Mia and it's not right. So I'm showing her what it's like to be spreading rumors about people's husbands. so right so uh she's like well and she even says it again she goes well just so you know i did it because you were attacking danny and nia and i told you that in person and i said it's because you attacked danny and nia and she's like well i mean attacked any nia i mean i said out loud what he did and there's a big difference there's a big difference in saying it i mean like so like sorry sorry that i said out loud that yes he sexually assaulted jasmine and michelle or jasmine and melissa at the bar sorry that he's sexually sexually assaulted people sorry that he's basically a jeffrey epstein at jack's they should just call it jeffrey's instead of jack's sorry i just said it yeah chris's like i'm out i'm out sexual assault nope nope nope nope nope danny sexually assaulted someone i'm gonna throw off the fucking boat i'm gonna throw her off the fucking boat so she goes and bobbles off you know she's like waving her arms and like falling i'm angry i'm gonna walk up the staircase in a very serious manner whoa okay a little unsteady whoa oh a little more steady okay i'm almost there halfway up the staircase i am angry i am angry against the wall okay let's get oh against the other wall almost there almost at the top yeah so first it's this she's escalating you know first danny's drunk and maybe inappropriate and now it's full on damaging slander.

30:19And Jem's like, well, that is the definition of sexual assault. Don't kill Judge Judy.

30:26Ben Mandelker: All right. She's like, my husband's a lawyer. So. Yeah, it doesn't mean that you are a legal expert. I hate when people pull that shit. My dad's a lawyer. I'm not suddenly like, jurisprudence.

30:41Ben Mandelker: Petty, petty, petty, voir dire, voir dire legalese. like no you can't like hide behind that janet like that's the thing it's like janet there's so many ways that janet can like win these arguments and she messes up every single time it's hilarious like you just fucked it up by saying that danny's sexually assaulted it's like it's first of all a wild overstatement and maybe it is maybe if if he were to be arrested maybe that's how it would be categorized but we know we're not in the court of law right now we're in the court of reality tv and you messed up right there big time yeah i'm looking i mean look no one here no one on this show is about to stand up for danny grabbing asses and saying call me danny okay that is 100 low life bullshit behavior the man i don't know even if he apologizes a million times it's not even up to janet i mean it's not even up to jasmine to forgive him if she doesn't want to okay that is my honest opinion but janet jasmine did forgive him and so did michelle they've talked about it ad nauseum it's been talked about it's not your thing Janet it's not your thing to walk around saying that and I'm looking up and technically it is in here it says part of the legal definition is sexual contact any unwanted touching of the genitals breasts or other intimate parts of the body so like technically yes but I think that everybody knows when you say sexual assault that usually means rape or something along those lines molestation or it just has such heavier connotations.

32:13Ben Mandelker: Like it's again, we're not talking in clinical terms at a police station booking. Okay. So she knows the connotations of saying it that way. And she can try to be like, well, sorry, like one of the problems about having a husband who's a lawyer, your husband does corporate law. So this, this, this is not even part of like what the, like I guarantee he's not coming home and talking about like, well, that qualifies as sexual assault today. Um, it just was, it's just a stupid, it was stupid on her part. And also, as they say later on, and I'm not even going to bother getting myself all whipped up into a tizzy about this because it's just not worth it.

32:47Ben Mandelker: But it really is up for it's up for Jasmine and whatever her girlfriend's Michelle or whatever her name is. I forget what her name is all of a sudden. It's up to them to say what what that experience was. It's not up for Janet. It's not for Janet to use as a weapon just because she's having a petty fight with someone. I know. Janet should have said, yeah, like I said something that really happened, which was that Danny got too drunk and he was acting weird and making people feel uncomfortable. That's what she should have said. or even if she said sexually harass somebody you know okay like i could you know fine but it's just what janet does it's a pattern of what she does she takes something and then she twists it into this big huge thing and to villainize other people you know and she just looks like the biggest asshole every single time so that's what she's just done so kristen's like i'm gonna kill her so she walks up and he's like how did he go and she's like i'm gonna throw the bitch off the boat that's how it went don't let her seal your peace was it anything about me it's just not about you about daniel and there i'm respecting you by even calling him by that name oh no she's still talking about you daniel's like what'd they do to daddy what'd they shame for daddy where'd they at since janet has reached a new low how dare she say those words about danny she has crossed the fucking line this is actual slander actual defamation and by the way this is truly the gift for kristen doty you know last night when they were all trying to be on their best behavior that is not the way to celebrate kristen the way to celebrate kristen is to draw her into some crazy fight and controversy that is when she's most alive as she is right now this is the true the true celebration of person dody is this madness this has just begun so um she's like he said that danny sexually assaulted that's what she said and sexual assault that's what she said knuckle knuckle so janice like um yeah unfortunately for danny that is the definition so i'm sorry that he did that but i'm not going to be painted as the bad guy for talking about what happened okay and so um we uh kristen's like doing prayer hands like oh my god hold on marionette head marionette prayer oh my god jenna and jenna goes i'm sure she's running around to danny and nia saying sexual assault cut to sexual assault and india sexual assault um so kristen's like yeah and when i repeat when i repeat she goes to jason like when i repeated the rumors about you in the ring i was wrong and i felt that jenny attacking nia danny and nia it was like glass houses you know and he's like no because you thought i was attacking danny it's both of you both of you and he's like well there's a difference between saying a random rumor but and then saying stuff that didn't happen and she's like well i was being a bitch okay glass houses like you go after my friends i'm gonna come for you you know do they make ship lap out of glass just want to know because we live in the valley now so then um danny goes up to zach um sent to nia and zach he's like okay well christian's going off now i can't even believe it and yeah i thought this conversation was going to go the right way i can't believe that when i dragged christian into a conversation that didn't involve her that somehow it turned into a huge drama this is crazy but you know what the thing is at abilene she said it to me jana's a dirty liar because clearly janet and her minions aka jared are going after danny for more than just what happened at halloween so now we get more added to this story by the way zach keeps throwing jared under the bus but they don't even they still won't put jared onto the show really like exactly like this is like the second time where he's like can you believe what jared said about me that's your cute producers no no you don't know and i'm so glad they won't because janet is so clearly trying to replace zach with jared on the show and have him be the gay and the producers are like no okay tell jared and his merc to get in line he's not gonna you're not getting a minion janet janet sorry buddy so janet a janian that's what our minions are called janians so janet is um is holding court in a flashback and she's like well i don't know what he did and i know what he did and it wasn't right and not only to you guys by the way but there's a second time okay it's like a group of fans a group of bachelorette party girls and danny had like one too many and he was being inappropriate and he was making a group of women feel uncomfortable and after jason had to like pull him away and was like dude you have a wife you have kids like don't do this and he said neil will always be up here but i have a weakness for hot girls and little skirts and she's like oh my god i did not hear that that's crazy oh my gosh so so now this is like the other infractions that Janet is told in a flashback this is so crazy and he's like yeah so Danny's like well I'm gonna ask the question I'm gonna ask it and he's like okay you can ask but don't let them steal your piece Daniel so he's like so Zach said that Janet said numerous times when taking pictures with fans that you said that I like girls And Jason's like, you know, the March thing.

37:59That's what you're talking about. Like apparently the March thing, right? And he goes, short skirts, something like that. Jason's like, I literally did not say that. Okay. But like eyewitnesses who were there have said that to Janet. Okay. Jared and Brittany said it. Jared and Brittany said it. I didn't hear the skirts part, but they said the other stuff.

38:16Ben Mandelker: So basically when Janet said that Jason pulled him aside and that Danny said to Jason, I love girls. I have a weakness for girls in the short skirts. Then Jason saying, I never heard him say that. but other people have said that he's said that so it's a lie it's another fucking lie it's like jared thing again it's like i can't believe people are lying so much and like that was such a lovely day hanging out with all those young hotties in their short skirts and now it's all ruined because it's all tied up in this rumors damn it oh my god janet's like well that had nothing to do with you guys and i hate that it's being brought into this again but when kristin says all of this sudden well it's the same thing about the danny and nia thing should i just not say anything i just used the definition of what happened i'm sorry that's what sexual assault is so nia's nia's pissed you know and then uh jason's like uh well danny i'm sorry it's hard okay you don't want to be talked about you don't want it to be brought up but you literally did these things and how many times have i owned up for it you know you can rub as daddy can rub as many thighs as you want as long as she owns up to her i thought that's the rules right and he's like but But to blame other people isn't fair.

39:21Yeah, it is because we just caught Janet lying about it. So what is it? And she's like, oh, I'm so sorry I used words. I'm so sorry. Who's next to be called a bitch? Webster? Webster?

39:34Ben Mandelker: We both love Webster and his hidden staircases, guys. So you didn't. OK, you did these things, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Kristen brought you guys up tonight. And I'm sorry that I had to say what happened. It looks like. But he's saying that she didn't. And Janet's like, I'm sorry that you guys are getting mad at me. for saying it. So they're going back and forth about like, oh my god, you said this, whatever. And Nia's like, we're gonna take a break. We need to find our peace. Daniel, come with me. We're gonna take a break right now. Daniel. So then Janet's like, oh my god, was I the one to bring up Danny and Nia tonight?

40:05It wasn't me. And Luke's like, yes, you've been talking about people and things that happened when you weren't even there. And Kristen's like, yeah, you don't get to speak for Melissa and Jasmine or girls at a club.

40:17Ben Mandelker: and you don't get to speak for them although i will speak for daniel nia which is what i'm this entire fight off of yeah and jason's like uh what what are we in a world where if somebody makes a mistake it can't be talked about yeah we're currently talking about janet's sir and so um kristin's like you do not get to speak for them and melissa's like yeah you guys can you stop talking about me and jasmine because if you guys don't stop i'm gonna pop off i was like please do that's all i want from you watch out for melissa she's gonna pop off everyone and so then i was like oh my god oh my god you just said it okay that's why i walked away you said it and janet's like but you brought danny into it no you said danny but you brought them into it you said sexually assaulted but you brought them into it get your weird hands off of me this is all stupid okay jasmine melissa that is what you fucking said that is what you fucking said jana and melissa they are like actually not even making sense anymore they're just screaming at each other yeah and so they're screaming and um christian's like jasmine elissa that's what you said and jana's like get out of my face get your weird hands out of my face just own your words bitch own your words signed weird-handed christian call call um why are you protecting the wrong people why are you protecting the wrong people it's like nobody's protecting anybody we just want the truth so kristen goes get off my fucking boat it's my fucking engagement weekend how about that bitch i love that like she she didn't even know it was her engagement weekend but now she's like oh i've taken ownership of this weekend now i'm gonna use it as as my trump card yeah it's like i'm done you fucking psychos so then kristen joins danny and nia inside and he's like i was just telling daniel we can't control anybody but ourselves and then it's like we can't change anybody we can't even ask him to wear pants in public because we're framed from wearing pants in public and that we prefer skirts it's looked down upon so i've learned that lesson and britney's like i just like that that went so bad with christian even though yet again i'm the person that started this rumor that you're currently fighting about wait oh yeah because she's britney is the one jason said he heard it from britney and jared britney that yes about the family that but he said he loves oh my goodness it's so hard to track everything yeah so jan's like the best thing that i can do right now with kristin just stay away and i genuinely wish her the best from her and we're gonna go i'm like okay well you're in the middle of the ocean but it's over the trip's over you thanks it's like the last event of the trip she's like we're gonna leave now yeah you're all leaving yeah so they dock and Kristen's like, I've never been so mad.

42:57Ben Mandelker: Don't make me knock your ass out, Janet. Like, seriously, seriously, seriously. Kristen's gonna knock you out. Mama gonna knock you out. Oh, seriously. Kristen's like, knock me out, Kristen. Knock me out. I have just been assaulted by Kristen. She goes, I'm gonna knock her out. And she goes, you're a fucking fan, bitch. And she goes, congratulations on forever. You're a fucking fan. I do. One of my favorite tropes is when reality stars try to create that sort of separation. Like you're a fan as if all of them are not like aspiring to somehow like crawl higher up on a hierarchy as well. But I get it at the same time.

43:37So, well, there's a reason it's crazy Kristen and not crazy Janet. Oh, no, you're too boring for that. They just call you fan it. OK, you're fan. So you're Janet the fan. I would prefer crazy Kristen personally.

43:51Ben Mandelker: Fan it in Hollywood. would well that's where it ends so really fun basic corn tortillas with cheese oh that sounds delicious oh that reminds me of tortillas today um great episode so fun such a good season and still going on like this is a long season and i'm happy because i i feel like there's still so much we have to sink our teeth into so anyway thanks for being here um and uh we will catch everyone on the next one. Next week, doing the Valley with Dylan from Betches, because Ronnie is going to be off next week. So looking forward to that. And Ronnie, can't wait to talk to the Valley with you in two more weeks.

44:33Yeah, it's going to be great times. Talk to you guys later. Bye.

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