#2919 RHOC S19E01 Part 1: There’s The Golden Door, Shannon Beador! With Amy Phillips

0:00Ben Mandelker: This episode is sponsored by Butterball Turkey. Butterball. Care hard. Cook easy. I was watching The Real Housewives of Orange County the other night, and I was thinking so much of this drama could have been solved with turkey. I think that about so many things. Exactly. Just get everyone around the table with a delicious meal. A turkey meal. That's how you bring people back together. What if it wasn't Thanksgiving? Being the Grand Dame isn't a one-day-a-year affair. Every day is a chance to get down with turkey burgers, ground turkey, and more. Eating turkey is like watching Bravo. You can do it any time, and the more you do it, the happier you are.

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2:30Ben Mandelker: a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today in the place of Ronnie Karam, who when we last checked, he was rolling around the quiet woman, throwing plates at people, getting kicked out. It's very unfortunate. it's the one and only amy phillips of drama darling hi amy how are you so good to see you oh my gosh it's so great to see you i'm so excited to be here hello to all of your amazing listeners and to my amazing darling listeners who i know are listening as well yes we love the darling listeners we love all the darlings and but by the way before we even get one inch into this recap you all must subscribe to drama darling because a phillips is hilarious and wonderful and i mean i really could think of no better person outside of ronnie carham to come recap the season premiere of orange county no less i am humbled beyond belief humbled if you will i'm about to buy a house in beverly hills filled with asbestos that's how humble i feel i'm gonna poison myself I'm just so excited to be here.

3:43Thank you for having me. Cheers to our orange ladies. This is so exciting.

3:48Ben Mandelker: Cheers. Cheers to them and their new faces. They're, you know, like Dr. Dubrow has been busy. I mean, wonderful. Even put Heather in red. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't believe it. I felt like the Dubrow's Los Angeles property felt like a little bit like some of those face lips I saw this week. I just was kind of like, there was some renovation, but is it maybe all done? I'm not sure. Right. Are we going to still pull that side up or? Heather's like, yes, we need to do more work, at least the floors. I was like, tear this thing down. What are you doing? I know. Please tear it down.

4:32Ben Mandelker: We will not adjudicate that.

4:39Ben Mandelker: I am so happy to have Orange County back I love Orange County I feel like Orange County has been on such a roll for the past three or four years it's been so good but also you know these are some of my favorite people to make fun of and it's a real doozy right out the gates this season I mean everyone is everyone's like super charged it feels like we're already like halfway through the season and it was just like it was only the premiere is wild. You use the word doozy and you're right. It was, it just came out of those gates. Like, you know, the Kentucky Derby and these ladies are running.

5:16They're like, it's going to be a supersize. So we better get it rolling ladies.

5:21Ben Mandelker: By the way, fun fact, Kentucky doozy is the name of Gina's stylist. I'm pretty convinced every new season every new season she starts up with a new look that's crazy and I was like what is happening with Gina real estate look I gotta look good for the real estate yeah she's also becoming much more cat skills than ever before well I think you guys should talk talk for once or twice you gotta get to the bottom of it No, her voice is like a roller coaster. You don't know it goes up. You're not sure when it's coming down. It's like a demon drop. Shout out to any of the Cedar Point Midwest people who know what that is.

6:11It's just basically a ride that it just drops, you know, drops like a shirt tonight.

6:18Ben Mandelker: I just don't know how to say her last name. It sounds like Gewurzemeanor. It sounds like one of those like German sweet wines that you don't want to fuck with. Where you're like, I might die if I drink this. She's got a sweet wine last name that you don't want to fuck with. I'm Gina Kershneider. I don't know how to say it. Kierkenheider? I'm not going to even tell you because I like how you mess it up. I like messing it up. Okay, this is going to be a five hour recap. I can already tell. I know. We haven't even started. Okay, I'm going to stop. It's a supersized episode. Let's see. Anything to promote at the top?

6:58Ben Mandelker: Well, obviously for us, there's Patreon. Crappens on demand where you can watch, not just listen. We're doing Love Island coverage. Finale is this weekend. Today, just recorded an episode with Diamond and Andrew from the Elvis Duran Morning Show. And they will be joining again on Monday to recap Love Island, the outcome of it. And on top of that, Diamond and Andrew are going to join me to recap Atlanta on Monday. So that's all super fun. Diamond and Andrew are the name of my boobs. This is Andrew. Tell them that. I will let them know. That's so lovely. So go check that out. And then yesterday we had, in case you missed it, a really fun State of the Union with Love Island with Hunter Harris.

7:45Ben Mandelker: So it's been great. And Ronnie will be back after a week. He's off. He's getting so much deserved time off. You know, I took my time off in May because I went on this trip to Norway, which is when you were last year, Amy, you filled in for me. So I loved your pictures and updates. That looked amazing. Thank you. It was a great time. It was, it was like the, I was like, I know there's a Gina Kershineider joke in here somewhere. I almost said it was the Gina Kershineider of trips. And I was like, wait, why would I ever say that? why would I ever say that I'm at Norway? It was great. So now, you know, I took some time off, so now everyone can get some time off.

8:23Ben Mandelker: And we are so glad that you're here. Do you have, can you tell people, by the way, where they can follow you on social media before we dive into this recap? At meet Amy Phillips, at meet Amy Phillips. That's all. Let's go. I love this Gina, this Gina thing. Cause it sounds like she's, it sounds like it's just saying like about to say, everything must go. we've got carpets and rugs and sofas everything must go prices are lower than ever before yes yes she sort of has that vibe she does okay okay well now it's time it's time i am now redirecting my attention to the notes to talk about this episode real housewives of orange county season 19 this is crazy this show like this show could be in college at this point not that it ever would be it's in France and it's going to raves you know what I mean this show is this show is actually almost eligible to be on next gen New York City so this episode is called revolving door of lies which is funny because Terry and I are going to add a revolving door to the front of our house and it has asbestos in it but it's protected from other asbestos getting in it.

9:48Okay.

9:48Ben Mandelker: If you ever come for me and my asbestos again, it will cost you a lot. That is not a threat. That is a promise.

9:59Ben Mandelker: My favorite monologue of the past five or 10 years has to be Heather Dubrow saying that to Shannon at the end of an episode while wearing like a little ribbon in her hair. That was just one of my favorite moments. Good selection, Ben. Really good choice on a favorite monologue. I love that. She had the dramatic pauses. You're right. Yeah. Shannon let it go. Shannon just sat in it and let it roll over her. Yeah. There really is some value in casting Real Housewives who were in Theater Club because when they have their big moment, they really know how to take it. Like they've practiced it in the mirror.

10:35Ben Mandelker: They've maybe sang Les Mis right beforehand. And they're like in the mood and they're going to like, they're going to, cause she did it to Taylor Armstrong with the IMDB fight. Like she does it once a year, Heather finds someone, she puckers up those mouth, that mouth. And then she just rails into them. Wow. You're right. I never even clocked that. I wonder who it will be this year. I'm going to have to say, I think she's going to take another go at Katie based on the way that they're all going for Katie this, this episode, you know? Yeah. So we begin and we see like a little teaser of what's to come, which is basically all of them taking a polygraph, which is exciting.

11:13It is funny.

11:15Ben Mandelker: Were they, was the cash trips in like North Korea or something? Were they like, you know, like there's like that, there's like a room on the border there. Like were they in that border room and they're like, why are you here? Why are you in this country at the moment? yeah the producers are like so ladies this year i'm gonna send you questionable area just go with it well well if i can do some healing i'll be for it so we see shannon shannon's in a new house and she's got and she's getting some treats for archie i love that new house thank god she's out of that old one i couldn't couldn't wrap my head around that i was getting claustrophobia yeah i you know what's so funny i have a mental block what her old house looked like it was like the post john jansen house or was it it was during the john j it was like nautical nautical right there's like a fridge area hallway yeah it was just odd staircase right in the middle of everything like staircase kitchen table you know it was just a lot of yeah no it needed it's time for a new house um so we see like this split screen of like her and Tamara and they're both like like Shannon's offering Archie something to eat but then Tamara is offering Eddie something to eat oh you shady shady producers it speaks to the duality of their lives like gosh these women are fighting but like they are dealing with the same struggles every day how to how to feed the men in their lives yeah how to feed the furry animals in their lives you know maybe tamra will get another man just to help keep eddie you know more youthful just like shannon got another dog yes she'll get another just just that way i could they can keep company he doesn't get things of friends he doesn't get into my business it's disgusting oh wait you know what's funny i'm actually i take it all back i'm looking at the notes i misread it tamra is also feeding a dog she's not feeding she's feeding her dog named rugby wow i like your edited version better we'll keep it at i could see tamra offering no to feed eddie and him being like no thanks no he's full of charisma yeah at all times I can't get enough of it yeah he's insatiable so then we go over to Gina and she's listing something in Mission Viejo and she's with Travis and she's like okay I want you to be in the video a little bit okay can you get in the video Travis because nothing's gonna sell a house like Travis right talk about charisma I mean the secret Barbara Corcoran built her empire on Travis cameos he sure did she sure did shout out barbara shout out to barbara corcoran so um she's like yeah okay come over here you know because like can you do these moves can you walk around the kitchen island because this is an important move okay look at me look as i walk around the kitchen island and she does this move where she she sort of like glides her hand across the kitchen island as she as she sort of circles around it.

14:37Ben Mandelker: Would that move the needle for you, you think? Absolutely. I mean, I love, you know, taking my finger and just gliding it across a nice piece of marble and hearing someone's voice be like, this marble is from one piece in the quarry. Do you like it? This is 100 % authentic Italian Carrera marble and you could have it for the low low price of $960 ,000 starting lovers now click the link in bio I also like that she both sounds like she's a salesperson like advertising a sale but also perhaps a ghost too be careful Be careful of the kitchen island It has memories Ooh Could you imagine if you got haunted by her?

15:43Oh, it'd be kind of a delight Because it would not be scary at all You know, you'd just be like, just give me a cup of coffee While you're moving around my kitchen Translucent, like

15:53Ben Mandelker: It would just be a ghost that burdens you with too many of its emotional issues Like, I feel bad I was like talking to Abraham Lincoln And then he like went off to talk to George Washington And I was like, what, I'm like not good enough for you anymore and then it turns out that he was like talking to all the bloggers about me and i was like i thought we were friends i have lost all trust in abraham lincoln you're like oh my god can i just have my coffee charlotte bronte is so mad at her sisters and they have a lot of armpit baggage get out of my house stop coming to my house to vent about your issues with other ghosts and why are you with such famous ghosts anyway how did you get this access how did you vip whoever is putting her back on the show season after season is giving her access to charlotte bronte it's just not right it's not so i'm happy about her being a real estate agent though i love it it is very fun like i really i i really i want to see her on one of these like real estate shows one of these high-powered real estate shows like selling oc or something where they're like i'm a Boss bitch, boss bitch.

17:00Ben Mandelker: I'm selling real estate, real estate, because I'm closing pre-certified. And I found a good one-bedroom condo that I think would be very good fit for.

17:14They have to slow down the music.

17:21Ben Mandelker: I thought the Curb Your Enthusiasm music would play. Yeah, you're right. It's not a sub-zero fridge, but it's a brand called Zero Fridge, which I forgot to tell you, there's no fridge here. I guess that's why that's called the Zero Fridge. You got to get your own fridge. Yeah. Which is good because I'm also moonlighting at Best Buy. Coming now, fridges are on sale for the next 12 hours. July 4th, sale, last until the 11th.

17:58so um really drilled down on gina this is what i do i feel bad are you a gina fan by the way

18:05Ben Mandelker: because i oh no i love on gina oh no i love gina but i love going hard on her like it's out of love yeah absolutely yeah like she my arc with gina is at the beginning of the season she always absolutely nuts and then midway through i say you know what i kind of like her i feel bad i I feel bad. That's what she always does. Every single episode, I feel bad. And then like by the end of the season, I'm like, fucking Gina. Yeah. So that's my standard like path. Yeah. It's your arc. And it's. Um, so then, uh, so then Emily is skating with her family and, um, Keller, her son, um, smacks her. Oh no, it was Shane smacks her on the butt.

18:44Ben Mandelker: So they're up to the same hijinks as usual. There was a barrel of laughs that family. those little love love bundles shane wow talk about a man who could sell a house or two that guy did you ever think he was funny or no no no did you think he was funny um yeah there have been times where i found him like when he first joined when they first joined i understood where he was going with his humor it seemed pretty harsh but i was like he's got a dry sense of humor just lay off and it just seemed awkward and a weird edit so i appreciate that he has a dry sense of humor i'm not saying it's you know he nails it every time but i really i haven't had a problem with him i think he's fine yeah like shout out to all our dry kings out there you know and queens um wasn't it didn't kelly dot have a moment once where she said some something like yeah you're funny we're like funny looking did she say that yeah that sounds about right was that towards shane or is that just towards someone else no i just like that phrase exactly yeah that phrase came right right roaring into my head just now funny more like funny looking and it became a thing everyone's like kelly yeah kelly how could you say that kelly kelly kelly kelly kelly kelly we don't talk about people's looks it's time for a commercial It's time for a Crappens commercial

20:19Ben Mandelker: There we go from Emily, you know, skating with her family to the DeBrujos in their L.A. penthouse in Century City, I believe. And they're just being so DeBruey. Terry's like, well, you notice my change with the gym downstairs? Check out my abs. She's like, oh, yes, I can definitely see plenty of abs there, Terry. that was acting Syracuse School of Dramatic Arts. Thank you very much. There's applause in the back. She has an applause machine going. She's like, and now I will submit my tape once again for Fantine on Broadway.

20:56Send.

20:59Ben Mandelker: That's exactly how she sends her emails. You know that. Send. Every time she hears the airplane noise, She's like, Terry, was that a private jet? No. Okay, never mind. Terry, our jet's leaving without us. Oh, it's just me sending again. Right, kids? You just send it? Are we sending it? Sorry, my electronic mail just departed. Wheels up, Terry. Wheels. Emails up. Emails are up and out.

21:38Ben Mandelker: It's so cool. Have you heard about the World Wide Web? Turns out we have access to it. So let's get on it, Terry. Wheels up on the web. Wheels up. Also, I heard there's colors. Have you seen these colors? I'm going to wear red now. It's another color other than black. Now that I live in Los Angeles, I'm going to experiment with the Pantones over here. Red. What a revelation.

22:06Ben Mandelker: i was talking to my very dear friend uh dina manoff who said that if you want to get ahead in this business you have to wear red she said it's a power color you can send 140 emails in 30 seconds so then i gave her the three quarters she needed for her parking meter and we hugged and said goodbye.

22:34Ben Mandelker: Which didn't make sense because she was paying for parking but also leaving at the same time. This is why she's not farther ahead.

22:42I'm sorry. Further ahead.

22:47Ben Mandelker: Go tell that to Wendy Malick.

22:52Oh my god, that's hilarious.

22:54Ben Mandelker: So they're basically talking about Terry's talking about how he has abs and Heather's like, well, I would do you. He goes, oh yeah, tonight hopefully as long as there's reverse cowgirl. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm laughing because I know exactly what that is. It's a young adult novel, of course. Reverse cowgirl, correct.

23:19I know exactly what that is. Poor Terry, he doesn't know.

23:25Ben Mandelker: I love when Terry and Heather do their at home scenes where they try to seem like just as happy, fun, relatable couple. Right. That have sex. Right. And they like laugh really hard at each other's jokes on camera. That's always a thrill for me. It is. Because after cut, it's like no eye contact. Well, wasn't there a scene last year when I think like she was getting like a testing done, testing done like about like a mammogram or whatever. and she was like, okay, Terry, you stand there. You're supposed to walk in. I'm going to go in in the hospital gown. Then you walk in. No, you didn't walk in correctly.

23:59Ben Mandelker: Okay, from the top. And they just kept it all in there. Oh my God, do I remember that? It was something like she had like, she was like mad at him for like not doing the scene properly. Oh, I do remember her being, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do remember her being mad at him for something that was like, they broke the fourth wall a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. Thank God they should do that more often with them. I know, that's what I would love. I'm like kind of obsessed with them. So then we go to Shannon and she's picking up Katie, um, to go somewhere. And cause that's what you do in orange.

24:31Ben Mandelker: Yeah. You go someplace, orange theory, whatever, anywhere, any place that specifically if it has orange in the brand, it's just a value. It's a value add. Right. So, um, so it's Shannon picks up Katie. It's like, Oh my gosh, you're so summery, which I feel like was her way of being like, well, way to outshine me with your outfit today. Thanks a lot, bitch.

24:55My color is summer. I can't believe that you came up summery. I thought we were friends. So nice to you.

25:04Ben Mandelker: I did tell the producer that today my thing was going to be summer and I thought that you'd be autumn and we would be like, oh my goodness, we're part of a calendar, but I guess you've chosen to be summer, which is fine. I'm totally happy with that. But you know, I didn't elect to be summary and that's fine. It's fine. I've just been on the show for 10 years, but that's okay. You can be summary if you want.

25:26Ben Mandelker: He was like, hold on. I have to hang up with this blogger. I mean, my friend. My friend blogger. So Shanna's like, oh, how are you? Good to see you. Remind me your name again. And he's just like, oh, yes. Shanna has no idea who Katie is. I'm convinced that a whole season went by she still has no idea who Katie is. Yeah, that's why they became close because Shannon got reintroduced to her after they were leaving the reunion. And so Katie's like, by the way, I'm Katie. And Shannon's like, oh, nice to meet you. Do you live in Orange County? And then they just struck up a friendship after that. Let me tell you about Tamra Judge.

26:10Ben Mandelker: so then katie's like yeah i just got back from arizona and matt was hosting for the golf channel again and it's like this crazy party oh i know i know i i i know a lot of people who go every year in fact i was i was gonna tell you about how i heard there was a crazy party in arizona but that's okay you can just steal the summary thing and the arizona crazy party that's fine i'm fine i'll just check it off my list no i'll get white out i'll just white out like it never happened Like I never took pen to paper and even wrote it down. Fine. Do you mind holding the wheel through this intersection while I just wipe this out?

26:46Ben Mandelker: Thank you so much. I have to shake this white out. My dad, my parents are in town and like my dad is always asking for things like the most random things. He's like, do you have an old credit card? Because he likes to, you know, scrape things off of the counter with an old credit card. Do you have an old rag? Do you have an old toothbrush? Do you have a whiteout? I mean, thank God I know him well enough. I had all those things ready to go yesterday. He's shaking it like with a little marble in there. All I hear is just shake, shake, shake, shake. I'm like, how many times do you fucking shake that whiteout?

27:14Anyway.

27:15Ben Mandelker: I can't think of the last time I had to use whiteout. I guess because I just feel like I don't write stuff on with pens so much anymore. Why would you need it? He's writing a check and he messed up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Mistakes happen. Sometimes you just need to wipe. And it would be, by the way, it would be Shannon. It would be Shannon Bedore who would come up with a list of the things she wants to talk about. in the scene and would type it out and have the little printout hanging from a mirror like, oh, well, Katie talked about that, so can you just wipe that out? Hanging like a parking tag.

27:50Oh, no, it tripped on me. Oh, God.

27:55Ben Mandelker: This is toxic, you know. I tried to find some at Whole Foods. They just gave me mayonnaise, which I accepted, but it was not the same. I had to hang it because I'm trying to make it off gas it's off gassing i had to off gas my white out remember that i once off gasted in uh in the in an enclosed space and let me tell you something i was seeing lots of interesting visions don't ask this nigger nose so that's why she doesn't remember me from last season uh-huh so um so shan so katie's talking about this this uh party which i think if i i speaking of kelly dot i remember she talked about this there's a big golf party that happens in phoenix it's a golf tournament that's like hosted by like the phoenix sanitation department or garbage it's like the garbage international it's literally called something something garbage and people go out to this like golf course all the real housewives are invited it's called the vicki gumbelson 18 hole extravaganza and hosted by um the greater garbage services of phoenix so um uh so katie's saying it was like it was a sea of penis oh oh oh yes well you know i did my manifestation for 2025 and men are not on my list because i'm gonna have fun fun shannon is here wow wow, a lot of lanes on this highway.

29:31Ben Mandelker: No, Shannon, you're just holding that white out a little too close. Oh, I wondered why things were starting to widen.

29:45Ben Mandelker: I've never seen the, I thought they had built in those new dynamic roads that adjust the lanes as you drive, no? Dynamic roads.

29:58Ben Mandelker: I was manifesting that for 2025 also because driving in Orange County and beyond is very challenging it's about time they introduced roads lanes that accommodated your needs you know if I look back to where I was a year ago I am a completely different person I don't even think about John Jansen at all. I mean, I did settle the lawsuit because, you know, it was more important for me not to have ties to him anymore. So we settled for$60 ,000. So enjoy that wedding I'm paying for.

30:37That was wild. That was wild. Yes. I was like, good for you. But, you know, John really did get a nice chunk from her son of a bitch.

30:46Ben Mandelker: Yeah, a very nice chunk. I don't think he deserved a single dime. I'm gonna say that right now. I'm gonna agree. Mm-hmm not even a penny nothing but he got it and she had to move on and And and the good news is she at 100 % is Not even thinking about John Jansen whatsoever Oh, there's his house, you know, it's so funny John Jansen Funny story one time John Jansen had to buy a tennis racket off of eBay and he met the person right there that's so random um um oh and look over there there's somebody's towing their boat they must be going boating i i grew up on boats and john jansen loves boats and and and and and we would fight we would just fight the dickens about about about what how to how to steer the boat and and and and how to park the boat and dock it and and i i i i was always right You know what's great about the ocean?

31:45Ben Mandelker: It's kind of like a built-in dynamic lane if you think about it. I don't know why we're all just not boating. Like John Jansen did. Why don't we just fill the streets with water?

31:57Ben Mandelker: So, anyway, Katie, it is, right? Yes. I invited

32:05Ben Mandelker: everyone to the Golden Corral, but unfortunately, something got mixed up and we were going to someplace called the Golden Door instead. Which is nice. I hope they have a nice selection of food. The Golden Corral costs $12 ,000 for 10 days. I was wondering, when they told me that it costs$12 ,000 to go to the Golden Corral, I thought, well, certainly someone has a Groupon. I understand that there's inflation, but this is a bit excessive. I mean, is your buffet really that great? I mean, do they have dog treats? on it? It seems a bit rich for me, for my blood. Maybe Heather Dubrow would like it, but I'm not going to pay$12 ,000 for a reasonable buffet.

32:51Reasonable.

32:54Ben Mandelker: So, she she's invited everyone to this place called The Golden Door. Have you ever heard of The Golden Door before? I've never heard of it. No. It sounds like it's a place. I was confused because I thought it was Mira what is it called? Mirabelle or Miramax or Mirabal. It sounds like they were talking about that We thought that we were going to go to the Miramax Revival, they're like, you know what? It's time Let's bring this brand back Miramax We're going to a film festival Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the Miramax Of them all? It's me She's doing it into her Into her rear view mirror Shannon, you have to lay off the white out We have to get I don't know where we're going, but we have to get there in one piece, please.

33:39Ben Mandelker: Oh, I thought I was in a castle. So they're going to go to this place and she's really excited. It's like a place for healing, et cetera. And, you know, she's going to bring all her friends to it. So then they arrive at this car dealership to look at cars for Katie. And so they get there and Katie's like, looking there it's like it's immaterial that they're looking for cars because they do some talk about it but really they're there just to gossip some more now that they're like they've arrived and also for shannon to get some air in her tires because um that killed me i love that line when she was like excuse me um can can somebody please give me some air in my tires I love when she gets all quiet.

34:32Ben Mandelker: I unfortunately had to pay John Jansen in air. So he's taking my air. And water. I paid in air and water. Do you happen to have some sort of trail mix also? Not for the tires. I was just a bit peckish at the moment. Because I found out that the golden door is not the golden corral. I was really saving up my appetite. My appetite.

35:04Ben Mandelker: I guess now that you have sourced some trail mix, you don't have to have any Casamigos, do you? Sourced. You're Casamigos, you do? Okay. I'll have some enchiladas too. Like Shannon, you're turning this into a restaurant. You're escalating this. Do you have a Mexican band that can come out? I am famished. I'm famished both for food and for entertainment.

35:33Ben Mandelker: Oh my goodness. So then, so she's, Katie's telling us that like, you know, Shannon and I had a blast after our reunion. This was me after, after the reunion talking with Shannon. Ha ha ha ha ha. God, what a fun time. Anyway, Shannon and I got a little closer and I felt like Shannon was one of the only ones to stick up for me. And then I felt like it was real turning point for us in our friendship. And I think this is where, is this where we saw the flashback of Shannon sticking up for Katie when you had Emily being like, well, why'd you lose custody? You lost custody. That was ridiculous. You know, we saw you lost custody.

36:13Ben Mandelker: And then Shannon goes, there's a lot of investigation happening. I was like, really? Was that the best they could show Shannon standing up for Katie? She was just saying something. It was a statement. It wasn't even anything other than just an observation. Kitty's like, fine, I'll take it. I'm dying up here. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for that. Yes. So Shannon's like, so by the way, I was with Emily yesterday, which wasn't fun for either of us. But at this point, I'm still fighting with Tamara and Heather Dubrow lives some place where she's wearing red. So I'm left with very few options to shoot with.

36:50Ben Mandelker: But I was with Emily. and there are certain things like you don't go there. You don't go there. Once your kids are brought up with your daughter, you just don't do that at all. You do not bring the kids into it. Hold on. I have to shoot a scene with my three daughters. One second. Stella, are you okay? Are you doing drugs? Drugs kill you. Drugs kill you. Okay, now excuse me. I'm going to go back to this white out here. A lot of things to erase off the list. Katie's is chatterbox anyway yes 1-800 cars for katie 1-800 cars for katie ma 'am can you please step outside oh she's crawling on the she's crawling on the seven series um so uh the the issue here is it's a throwback to last season when um there was the whole hubbub which i totally forgotten about where katie's daughter was babysitting for emily's children and katie's daughter said that emily's children said that their mom hates heather dubrow right and and then callie mentioned it and of course said it in front of tamra's then tamra brings it up to emily and emily's like why is your daughter gossip about my children yada yada yada so this is like we're still we're having lingering not only lingering effects from the storyline it has actually ballooned into its whole new inciting event for the season and it's gonna get dark yeah it is it's gonna get wild well not that dark i mean i don't know i think it's also kind of silly but you know what did you what did you with oh no i was gonna say what do you think you have a problem with emily bringing that up at the reunion about the custody.

38:44Ben Mandelker: I thought that was, I thought that was bad. I thought that was really bad when I brought that up. Like I looked it up and like you lost custody and she was like shaming her. And I just felt like that was, I thought that was shitty because like Emily's a family lawyer. And I just felt like she knows that there's a lot of, there's a lot of like nuances to those situations. and like also to shame the wife and the mother in that situation felt really icky to me. I didn't like that. What did you think? I completely agree. I thought it was too far. And it seemed like she was doing it out of retribution.

39:22So it just makes more sense why Katie would go low with the blogger stuff because I think she's trying to get back at Emily. Yeah.

39:32Ben Mandelker: I'm like firmly team Katie for this entire episode. I just, I'm going to say this like straight up. I, I don't know if I'll stay team Katie, but as of right now, I just think that like everything that they brought up on the, um, at the reunion was really like gross. And I, and like, Emily's like, I never said anything bad about Heather Dubrow. And how could you, I'm like, I a hundred percent believe that Emily and Shane had conversations about her castmates, her coworkers, and the kids overheard it. I a percent believe it and she's embarrassed and she's trying to deflect you know away from you know heather's the wealthiest person on the cast and she doesn't want to get on heather's bad side i think right yeah nobody does and heather doesn't want to get on anybody's bad side because she doesn't necessarily like she's not hanging you know what i mean they're not like let's go hang heather and she never could get on anyone's bad side because she is young and hip and cool and everyone loves Heather Dubrow.

40:28I think that after this whole blogger thing goes away and Katie apologizes for taking it a little bit too far, I think we have a clean slate. Because honestly, I do see, well, what Katie did was wrong.

40:41Ben Mandelker: Yeah. But I also can see why she would do it and why she would tit for tat. And so, because they're saying like, we all agreed that we wouldn't do this after the reunion. It's like, well, yeah, after you just dragged Katie through the mud with the custody stuff. Then you all agreed. So she needed to get one more jab in, I think, before she could let it go. And now we can call it even. Yeah, and I'm totally fine with that. I think get like one little, like a little thing on the side there, you know? Yeah. So, you know, she's, Shannon's like, well, you know, but the thing is that Emily's ex-nanny came forward to talk.

41:16Ben Mandelker: And Katie's like, yeah, she reached out to me. And we see this headline that says, Emily Simpson's former nanny speaks out saying, Emily's kids know everything and hated Heather Dubrow, which is such a funny. It's hilarious. So Emily's kids hated Heather Dubrow or that Emily hated Heather Dubrow or all of the above. Do they just all hate Heather Dubrow? As a family, as a family unit. That's one of their favorite family activities together. Just to hate Heather Dubrow. Right. So Shannon's like, well, Emily is saying that you told the nanny where to put the information out there. So Katie then explains, she says after the reunion Emily's ex and he reached out to me and said your daughter's not lying and this is my experience and it was just like really validating and I said there's nothing I can do with this so I told her look this is the podcast that Callie just did, my daughter and she then reached out to the podcast and I had nothing with any of that going on that was nothing I said here, this is the podcast I'm assuming their email is probably like contact at nanny nanny dish.com blogger post social media at gmail yeah and so be it you know it wasn't you know i don't know the wrong hands you know i just so i laid it out like a golden corral buffet and you know i wasn't in i didn't tell anybody to go pick it up or eat it i just i just happened to notice that there was a podcast that my daughter was on and i don't know how she got on that either But either way, just happened.

42:53Shannon tried a little. She was like, and you are kids. They don't go on podcasts. Are you OK with that? She was like, yeah.

43:03Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I'm OK with that.

43:08Ben Mandelker: I'm down. I'm down with it. Here comes one right now. I just think it's also funny that there's all this discussion about like the etiquette of going onto a podcast or talking to the podcast or talking to the gossip people. When like Tamara has two T's in a pod and that's like literally like she is as much a part of this ecosystem as anyone else is at this point. Tamara talks gossip like Tamara, like two T's in a pod. We're all we're all in it. We're all in the mix together. So they can't act like they are like, how could you talk to bloggers? Right. When they are, that is funny in it. You're part of it.

43:50Ben Mandelker: You're part of the world. It's so strange. Bloggers are now a part of the entire. Like tapestry of these episodes. Now it, I don't know if I really like that. Yeah, it's weird. But they're also like so obsessed with it because I think they're all just very concerned with controlling the narrative. and when they can't control the narrative they lose their minds because like honestly i think emily if it were me i'd be like okay well whatever so it's a disgruntled ex-nanny who the fuck cares i'm moving on my life i've got bigger fish to fry right but she's like i'm gonna hire a lawyer i'm like it seems a bit excessive over and over an ex-nanny you know saying some stupid headline yeah i um i can understand i i guess i can understand her putting a cease and desist out if she's saying stuff about her family and her kids because when it when it comes to the kids you know um so i do they're off limits they're off limits so i do feel like if i was in her position i would be like yeah you were actually working for for me and those are my kids and now you're speaking on behalf like i would i would probably do something legal too so i'll go yeah i'll go team emily on that one for sure you gotta gag that nanny you gotta gag the nanny yeah gag that nanny now we go back over to gina's new house and i have to say gag that nanny limits on the high morning gag that nanny Sunday Sunday Sunday

45:32she

45:33Ben Mandelker: she's finally moved into a larger house talk about claustrophobia I mean you said that you felt claustrophobic in Shannon's house I mean if I had to watch Gina cram another child into a closet or a clock or a large clock yeah it's a lot she was doing a lot in that small space but she she has a um a very big um she's moved into a house and she had a very big moment because she went to um she went to bali do you have i don't know if you have the if you happen to have the notes in front of you do you want to read this gina monologue but if you if you don't have the notes then don't worry about it the gina monologue yeah um i where did i put it sorry i know i just sort of like ambushed you with the monologue but i just felt like this is such a big gina explanation on page three we're only on page three of our notes are you serious oh that's hilarious okay basically yes i think i've got it yes you see it please at the very bottom of three yes okay travis and i have made the decision to move back in together.

46:43There are not a lot of homes this size in my neighborhood. And last year, it was very easy to say, oh, we can't afford something together because that wasn't the real issue. This is going to sound weird, but I took a trip to Bali over the summer and honestly, It was a life-changing trip. I so connected to the wind when I was there. And there were so many things. I found out that I was living with fear and making decisions out of fear. Everything happened with Travis and his ex. He really scared me. And I decided that I got an inability to move in with their life. Dictate mine. Like I feel fucking free.

47:36Ben Mandelker: it's beautiful thank you amy thank you thank you for like giving us a moment of gina like that that was i don't know what it was you really translated the um the emotional and spiritual growth that she felt yes to bali that's what bali does um unfortunately it turns out bali is a neighborhood bar and grill in costa mesa with an outdoor patio on the roof so it gets a A lot of wind. Very windy. As I was eating those mozzarella sticks, I realized, why am I living in fear?

48:10Ben Mandelker: So Emily comes over and they say hi and everything. And, you know, it's baby steps for Gina because she's like, I need a couch. I feel bad. And they just have a bunch of Costco chairs set up and everything. So Gina's like, I got to tell you something. I went to the dog beach the other day with Jen and Shannon and Jen basically told me that Katie did tell Jen that Nanny reached out to Katie and Katie gave her the information for that podcaster and I had to like really stop and rewind it three times I think they even put up like a little infographic so we could follow what the hell she was saying I still had to go back and re-watch it that's amazing, that was an amazing moment yeah so it's like this girl and it's basically like hi Katie, I want to ruin Emily's life and I want to talk shit about our children and Katie's like, okay, here's the phone number.

49:01Ben Mandelker: Go do it. Annabelle's friends all have Instagram and social media and they tell her things that they read about her. Wait, now Annabelle's in the mix here? Right. I wonder if the nanny have some stuff to say about Annabelle? I know. Did she trash Annabelle? I know. I thought, well, is it that it's about her brothers and what are they making fun of her about? I mean, I guess just being a real housewife's daughter, I suppose. I guess so. Kids can be brutal yeah kids are the worst so uh Emily

49:38Ben Mandelker: she's like I've never felt so violated in my life I get that Katie can't control the fact that the nanny reached out to her however instead of telling me or ignoring it she connected the nanny with the podcaster um yeah I guess probably like the the way to build a relationship would be like hey just so you know this nanny is starting to sniff around and I want you to know I'm not taking the bait. Right. But, you know, it's housewives. You gotta do what you gotta do. Or you could say, hey, go on to the nanny shit talk podcast. Yeah, right. Wouldn't it have been great if Emily's like, by the way, that nanny's been dead for four years.

50:22You're talking to a ghost.

50:27Ben Mandelker: Gina's And she's like, oh, my God, you're talking to a ghost, too. Wait a second. So Emily's just basically saying, you know, the problem is other bloggers read it and then they replicate it so that the general public can all comment on my parenting and my children. I'm like, that is true. But also, OK, I mean, you're on a reality show. Right. Like you said, you know, a big part of it is that you're talking about your children. You make us sit through scenes of taking Annabelle to modeling auditions. And that's fine. That's what's going on in your life. But if you want to protect your children, you really should not be on this show.

51:06I agree. I mean, every time they talk about, like, we don't talk about the children, it's not about the children. Everything becomes about the children, really. Yeah. Because everybody steps over the boundaries.

51:17Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And literally the rest of Emily's episode is about her kid. So it's like, I mean, obviously it's not like talking shit about the kid. That's for me to do. guess what's coming up no just kidding but but like you know the point is that like there's a risk there's an inherent risk about like highlighting your children on tv and i'm not being like well deal with it but like like also you know i don't know i mean like yeah you people can talk yeah we'll talk people are gonna talk people can say things speaking of i I don't mean to skip ahead, but the whole thing with Emily's son's eating disorder, the ARFED, that's really intense.

51:58I mean, I could see that in both ways. Like, in many ways, it's going to be relatable for a lot of parents out there who have kids that struggle with this. I have heard of it. and um and basically like i could see it being a good thing for her and for people to come together as a community but it's also difficult to see it being exposed on this show when he's so young i

52:26Ben Mandelker: you know i go back and forth i feel like i was actually it's funny because i i do sound like i'm like all over the map here because i i actually was really glad that that was profiled because that's something i really didn't know about and i thought it was fascinating and i thought it was like a very real thing going on in her life so like i want the housewives to show the real things and the struggles that they go through and i found it was like compelling and i like looked it up on my phone wow yeah yeah i'm and i just was uh so i like that she shared that and she brought awareness to it but it's like it's just there's something i always find to be very hypocritical about really any housewife who's like like oh my god i don't want people talking about my children it's like well but just no it's it can be a double-edged sword and like yeah you know we don't try to make fun of the kids because they're just the kids unless they could do something terrible but um but it's just like you know i hope that doesn't come back and backfire in any way you know because that'll be really awful you know you don't want to have anybody weaponize anything about their kids and it ends up happening in a lot of shows you know they really do it they do it a lot and then there's some people who also just like play that card too like if someone just mentions like the word kid and like a theoretical like they people they just lose their mind like do not bring up the children this is not about you know like i was talking about a goat a kid to go you know yeah right right um so then uh so back to uh shannon and katie and you know uh katie is saying like you know she was okay you know with callie telling her she's like i was okay with you know callie telling her truth but i was also pissed i mean because like you talk about my custody and something that was extremely painful to not just me but those three kids and that's just not apples to apples shannon oh well i didn't realize we could get a computer here so i will if we if there are any apples around let me put this orange down no i'm not gonna put an orange down never ever it goes surprisingly well with this trail mix yes so basically katie's like yeah like they they brought up this thing at the reunion and it was shitty and like everything has been squashed they bring it back up again and i never got an apology and like them this thing with the nanny does not even compare to what they brought up at the reunion and what they aired out so and i kind of agree to be honest i agree i do you know i agree yeah so so then gina meanwhile is like you know i've had it with her like like so like i have to get this out because like it actually is like okay so i called kitty to invite her to coffee because i've had it with her i've absolutely had it this i guess this is gonna be the new this is what gina does the top of the season she just like goes hard after someone she's like i'm gonna get a coffee and i'm gonna yell at you yeah because that's she did last year the gen she's not paying your mortgage or your your rent right right and i'm in real estate so i know about that now.

55:34Legit license.

55:36Ben Mandelker: Did you know that they call it Lent to Let in Europe? Yeah. I know these things. I work in real estate now. Now. So, Emily is like, well, I want to go, but I have mom things going on. She's like really hard. So now we come back over to a new scene and Chan's at house and now she is FaceTiming with Stella and she's like, oh, so what country are you in now, Stella? And she's like, Amsterdam. Oh, well, that's not technically a country, it's a city, but that's okay. I'm so happy for that education we paid thousands of dollars for.

56:16Ben Mandelker: She's like, so what are you going to be doing in Amsterdam? And why are you still up, Missy? It should be at 8 o 'clock over there, as far as I can tell. She's like, I'm going to go to a rave. Oh, oh. A rave. I'm not sure I understand what a rave actually is. Is that French for going to bed early?

56:42Are you going to meet up with a fine gentleman at a coffee shop? Is that what a rave is?

56:50Ben Mandelker: Will you be writing a very positive review of an establishment, a rave? Are you getting on top of a bar and dancing like your mother? On Love Hotel? Are you going to be wild and hilarious and fun? Will Earl the Pearl be there? Will Earl the Pearl be there? Earl! Earl the Pearl. It's like, no, it started at like 11 and it's going to go until like 7 in the morning and the DJ I'm going to go see is at from 2.30 to 5.30. Oh, well, you mean drug o 'clock, Missy? Drug o 'clock. I'm just so proud of my Stella, somebody who was like, Mom, I hate you. I'm never leaving this house. I'm going to take this house from you.

57:40And Dad, and I don't like anybody in this family, is thriving in Amsterdam. I can't believe it.

57:48Ben Mandelker: Wow, maybe she will run into her new stepmother there in one of the windows where all the sluts are. I'm sorry. Red light district. This is more like a red light district because I am seeing red right now, Stella. You get back into bed. Okay, mom. All right. Well, mom, there's going to be maybe a hurricane here in France. So can you just make sure you're checking the apps? Well, I didn't know that there would be a hurricane. If you had told me that there'd be a hurricane, I would have checked it. I would have 100 % checked it, but I don't know these things unless you communicate with me, Stella.

58:28Ben Mandelker: Earl of Pearls, like, Shannon, just want to text you to let you know that we had a very sunny day yesterday, and I got a bit sunburned, and I would have appreciated you to send me a note to say that you were thinking of me. I said, use SPF. What more do you want me to do? When you said a cloud had passed over the sun, I thought you were safe. You did not tell me that the cloud would keep on moving.

59:00You said you were in lake water. Lake water isn't as sun-absorbent as the ocean. And I only know oceans.

59:10Ben Mandelker: I am sorry that I don't know how SPF works in different terrains. I am sorry and I will work on that, but I can't be expected to know these things unless you communicate with me, Earl. That's what I'm trying to say to you. And I'm just not even sure I could continue with this text message. It's not enough, Shannon. It's not enough. By the way, Earl, did they open up the dynamic lanes in Georgia yet? Because we have them here and they are wonderful. Oh, boy.

59:41Ben Mandelker: so um speaking of dynamic let's go see what the dubrows are up to so they're we're over at their beverly hills house which is just like stripped down and just like there's like nothing left of it and um heather's talking about how max is in you know and uh i said asbestos is in paris and they're walking around and terry's like wow this place looks like shit how much asbestos did find. Well, no one ever told me because unfortunately people are apparently quote unquote scared to tell me about asbestos and I don't understand why that would be. He's like, well, my stepfather died from asbestos of the lung, by the way.

1:00:23Trevor's like, well, I feel like I failed.

1:00:26Ben Mandelker: I said, you didn't fail. You did hear that I just mentioned that my stepfather died of asbestos, right? No, I'm really just focusing on this. I'm talking about me at communicating with the construction people. This is far more serious than whatever happened to your stepfather.

1:00:44Ben Mandelker: When we bought the Beverly Hills house, I had a really good plan. We were going to buy this house, renovate it, spend the mornings waving to Drake next door, rest of the morning, throwing pebbles down at Wendy Malick, down at the bottom of the hill. Oh, Wendy. But now look at us. Drake has to look at this. This is what he thinks of me. He thinks, look, look at that woman who was on that CBS pilot in 1999. Look at the state of her house. This is no way to live. What an embarrassment to my entire reputation. So I will stand here out in the very open. Get a look at me for the last time, Drake. Take a good look, Drake, because television's Heather Dubrow won't be standing here much longer.

1:01:32she's smoking smoke and she disappears like a magician

1:01:38Ben Mandelker: she shows up into reed's house this is mine now

1:01:44Ben Mandelker: i've consulted bravo they said that i can take this over now goodbye great timing it's not paid for anyway

1:01:56Ben Mandelker: you know they were telling me that there was an issue with the door and closing and then it turns out they were saying foreclosing huge mistake you can have it now

1:02:10Ben Mandelker: so uh heather is saying that um basically they bought this house they had this plan to renovate it they tore it they like stripped it down and then the contractor was like by the way it's going to cost eight more eight million dollars more to renovate this than we originally said so she had him killed if you ever give me an estimate like that again it will cost you a lot so um now the house is just in this sad state and they are just trying to figure out what to do and terry's like well i mean let's just sell it let's just move on am i right terry that's such a good dairy really it's really good it's really good he does kind of blend he kind of talks like a like a jazz singer so I don't know yeah we can just move on let's find another rapper to live next to I don't know this house is up to you know I love his music what a relevant rapper artist so she's like well first of all we have to finish the floors because to me it looks like a war zone it's like someone broke out in war on my floor and we have to fix it and he's like well I mean they're just going to tear it all up again oh it's so little money Terry I mean what is it$350 ,000 come on well I can change I love this Terry DuBois thing it's so funny $45 ,000 I mean it's$45 ,000 I mean that's a party you throw at Nobu isn't it?

1:03:57Ben Mandelker: Wendy Malick wishes.

1:04:03Ben Mandelker: Oh, we're laughing, Terry. Terry, laugh. Laugh, Terry. Let it out go through the canyon, Terry. Let Drake see how happy we are. This could be inspiration for Jake's next new jam. So

1:04:20Ben Mandelker: I will be a guest. I will be a guest vocalist. okay you does drake know that i once sang a song produced and written by richard marx i think i would be a valuable person on this track by the way i love that song i love that video do yourself a favor because i this happened all right have a nice gummy have a thc gummy whatever you can handle okay then go back and watch that gaggle of orange county ladies sing that song and you're going to trip out. It's so good. It's, I sing that song so much. I'm mad that it was, well, sometimes I'm a good girl. Sometimes I'm bad. I do what I want because it's all I have.

1:05:08Ben Mandelker: And then, you know, I was expecting that. Yeah. And then we get to the bridge. Heather Dubrow does it because they're all singing terribly. It's like Emily going like, sometimes I'm a good girl. Sometimes I'm bad. And then Noella's like, and Dr. Jen is on it. But then Heather Dubrow comes on, she goes, you are all on each, does the whole bridge. And then it goes, the big chorus, which is, I do whatever I want, whenever I want, with no expectations. I go wherever I want, wherever, whoever I want to, and wherever I'll be. I'm messing up the lyrics, but that's like basically, that's the spirit of it.

1:05:47Ben Mandelker: And I'm, I'm telling you right now, like it's so it is, it's such a beautiful and pure song and it should have been released as a, as a, as a true single, you know, I agree. And thank you, Richard Marks. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Richard Marks for that, for this beautiful, beautiful song. I actually have it in my, I have it in my, in my iTunes library. Although for some reason it's just like not showing up right now. And I'm like really sad. It's a ghost. It's a ghost. I think it's labeled the OC reels. oh yeah right nice this is a great throwback i love that right yeah it's called like whatever i want or whatever but okay it's some of richard mark's great greatest work and uh i'm sorry i can't pull it up for you it's just for some reason hiding away i'm i was gonna try to play it and make it a beautiful moment oh that's all right that's okay i think you did a great job i think you did a great job thank you yeah thank you well now i'm concerned like where's my music file yeah you're like i want to listen to this like wait a second whatever so um now we go to emily at home and she's offering she's asking her son if he want like if he wants to eat something and he's like no and we i this scene we sort of just think it's a scene with like kids right yeah and he's saying that he like he ate some pirate's booty at at lunch whatever and you know like just nothing whatever and you're like okay and emily's saying how her her um the sons are 10 and they're sort of small for their age and everything like okay and then um this is when she tells everyone uh that luke has been diagnosed with arfid which stands for avoidance restrictive food intake disorder um where it's like it's where people don't like want to eat like they don't like the idea of eating and it's like it's difficult not difficult but like it's a whole it's a whole thing and it's like very scary and very fascinating and yeah i got my heart really went out to her when she was describing this whole process oh my god oh my god yeah um so she's saying like they're just like they're having been therapy and they're trying to get him to try different things and she's talking about how they try to get like he's recently learned about checks mix and you know baby steps but like wow so scary um it is i i think you know with shane saying well we've identified it and we're getting the help i mean that's the most important thing obviously is that they now know what it is i mean you you see these warning signs or you see things like and how gina was reflecting on her situation with her daughter and the sensory issues and um and i i love how she shared like she felt guilt but it's just so difficult to to notice what the signs to look for you sometimes they just pass right by you and And one of the things that I've learned as a parent, I have an eight-year-old daughter.

1:08:42And, you know, all kids have issues, you know, by the way. And so do adults. Like, everybody has their thing. And that's one thing that I've realized about, you know, having a child. Like, you know, we have our issues. And everybody we know has their issues. But one of the things I've learned is, like, just to be a good observer and to really take note of things. And don't be afraid to be like, huh, I'm going to clock this and I'm going to maybe jot this down. And by the way, I have heard of ARFID. There is this, do you mind if I give a podcast a shout out? Okay.

1:09:13Ben Mandelker: A hundred percent. So there's this podcast, it's called Parenting Survival, AT Parenting Survival. And it's all about like, it's this, she's a, I think she's a therapist. I'm not sure what her credentials are, but she has several kids and she's also like a child counselor, but she knows so much about like child OCD, child anxiety, kids with ARFID, all of those things that kind of meld together that can kind of cross over. And that's when I even heard about it because I just really like listening to her podcast and learning all about this different stuff. And I was like, wow, this is such a thing I never knew, but it is real.

1:09:52And when, when Emily's talking about it, it's nice to hear someone label it because it's not something like you said that people really know about and it can pass you by. You might not

1:10:03Ben Mandelker: know what it is and how to help it yeah yeah i think actually she did a great service because there probably are parents who are like well my child's just a picky eater or whatever um and i i have to imagine i don't have kids but like i have to imagine that like if you suspect something is amiss there's there might be an instinct to be like i don't want to like you sort of maybe go into denial because it's actually scary and like the the counter the counterintuitive thing with really with anything and it happens to us as as adults with our bodies sometimes that we think like well i don't i want to ignore it because i you get this irrational feeling like if you ignore it it's not really there and the really the truth is you actually want to lean into it and start like whatever treatment you can as soon as possible or like awareness and so it's really good if it's helping if if this storyline does help other parents realize there maybe, you know, like maybe there, there's something going on in their household that, um, that they were maybe turning a blind eye to.

1:11:05Ben Mandelker: So I think it could be really helpful. It's also just fascinating to me. It's just, it's like intriguing. Like I'm, I'm intrigued to see what, what this journey is going to be and what the, the treatment's going to be like, I'm actually like very fascinated by this, this whole thing. Yeah, absolutely. You know, and, and it's just all about like making that first appointment, you know, that just can set the course. And that's always the hardest thing to do it's like well where do i start you know yeah go to your primary then they can give you to another specialist then they can give you and then just the research you know you got to do your research there's just so many outlets now like you can join a facebook group that's like arvid support you know what i mean like there's just so much stuff out there now yeah i think that's the other thing is like when you're scared about something going on in your body or maybe your child's body or a loved one's body it's like the great unknown but like once you actually get yourself onto a path of treatment or like being proactive about it it suddenly becomes much less i won't say it becomes less scary but it becomes it becomes like okay uh like i'm not the only one i can take i can take this on we're gonna we're gonna figure something out here as opposed to this like thing that you can't even like look at or talk about right right right yeah so good on emily good on emily yeah i mean when we grew up our parents would be like have a fucking cheeto and go to bed you know like they're not gonna look at it but you know it's a different time yeah i mean it is exactly um so so emily and chane are dealing with that um and then we then as long as we're talking about mental health issues and what's going on in the body and whatnot we then move to elsewhere in orange county for tamra judge to have her therapy session so she comes in it's like she's like already crying listen I want to say first and foremost tears tears I 100 % I love therapy I had therapy two days ago I totally endorse therapy I want everyone to get therapy I want Tamra to get therapy I want everyone to get therapy which by the way very similar situation I was sort of scared to start therapy because it was like so you're sort of like i don't need therapy whatever and then you finally just do it and you're like oh this is yeah it's nothing yeah yeah i mean it is something though it kind of is but it's a big deal but you know it's good it's great what's it definitely not the same it's not the same as as like for instance what emily is dealing with but the point is that like we can sometimes dig our heels in for yeah treating things exactly so i am happy that tamra I really am happy that Tamara's in therapy.

1:13:42Ben Mandelker: But that being said, like she is so funny. Like Tamara going to therapy, like this therapy session, like I wanted to, the therapist seemed by all accounts, like a totally legit good therapist. And this could have been all authentic, but there's just something about Tamara just showing up already crying, like in just full Tamara, soapy melodrama that just, I was cracking up. I was like, I love this show. I also love that the therapist immediately, immediately needed to correct the fact that she hasn't been assessed for being on the spectrum. She knew what happened, you know, already, obviously.

1:14:22So she was like, yeah, I understand. So we do need to get you assessed because we haven't done that yet. And, you know, we can cross that bridge when we come to it because an assessment will be needed. you know tamar's like i just may have like got you excited on my podcast and like just i was just excited to be in the spectrum so i just wanted to say it just wanted to shout

1:14:44Ben Mandelker: over on the rooftops people are past i'm i just want to say i've been crying since last week's uh therapy session because i looked at my bill and my bill from spectrum is so high please you just you just have to stop saying that word tamar i think they're first just stop saying the word okay just stop saying it it's a trigger it's you know maybe just let's use different language you know okay okay all right well i was helping my my son with his physics homework and he was learning about you know color and a lot of colors on the spectrum they're okay tamra pull it back pull it back okay sorry sorry bitch sorry bitch can you watch your language across the board you can refer to me as Dr.

1:15:30Jones

1:15:31Ben Mandelker: okay I just think that maybe I actually am on the spectrum after all because that's my opinion I love the flashback of all of like her freak outs I know and so now she is now her whole thing is dealing with unprocessed trauma which by the way I don't know if she's talking about her or we as an audience who have been watching her for so many years having to take on so much of what she's done but she's going to work on it so she's like my sensory issues are heightened my intrusive thoughts are out of control right now right right right well yeah the unprocessed trauma you know whether or not that was on the spectrum or not which I think we can agree was not I didn't actually say that.

1:16:20Ben Mandelker: You said that. If you could sign here that you said that, not me, that would be great on camera. There we go. Yeah. So remember how we talked about how people with trauma don't respond in ways that people are going to expect them to respond? So for instance, if I don't know, you're a therapist and you talk to someone and you say, you know, there are some people on the spectrum who have, you know, who process emotions differently. And then the person with the trauma then goes and announces that they have, they have, they're on the spectrum. That would be a, that would be a response that you would not expect.

1:16:53That would be disgusting. Thank God I didn't do that.

1:16:58Ben Mandelker: Yeah, you did. You did. I did. I did do that. I did. I did. I did. I did that. I did that. I did that. So you, um, you have a daughter who has requested multiple times that you don't bring her up on camera. Is there anything you'd like to say? Yeah. With Sydney, it's just like everything with Sydney on camera. Here it goes again. Although honestly, I'm at this point where I'm like, you know what? I'm sort of on Tamara's side at this point. This girl's got like Sydney, you just have to deal with it. Your name. I know at this point, right.

1:17:34I guess her daughter's probably like, this is the least amount that she'll talk about me if I say don't talk about me. But if I'm in her life, she'll probably won't stop talking about me.

1:17:46Ben Mandelker: But I think it goes the other way around because the daughter doesn't realize that she's just giving Tamron like an endless story line. Oh, right, right. You just have to, what Sydney has to do is she's gonna have to suck up one annoying season where it's like, we're mending things. She's gonna come on camera. I'm bringing her to her coffee shop. And then we'll never see her again because where the fuck are the rest of Tamra's kids? Right. Her daughter's going to be like, you'll never see my face again and run out. Remember when Tamra did that? That was amazing. That was my favorite. I'm so proud.

1:18:19I love that moment. I'm always like in my head. I'm always when I leave like a party or something. I'm like, you'll never see my face again. I just love that. It's so good.

1:18:30Ben Mandelker: So good. That's what Gina says when she goes to the stylist. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.

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