#2925 McBee Dynasty S02E03 Part 1: One Flew Over The Chicken’s Coop with Eric Williams

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1:59Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and Ronnie is still out on his vacay, a much deserved, much needed vacay. And joining me in his place is someone who I am incredibly fond of. He is so funny and he is on the up and up. He may even be there. He may be there. his name is eric williams and you can find him as the host of that's a gay ass podcast among many other things welcome to the show eric how are you doing then i'm doing not only so gorgin but this is a dream come true i have can we tell the listeners that i was a fan of yours first this is a safe space you can say whatever you want well i'm going to say a lot and the first thing i'm say is that my dear gay ass husband matt brought me to a watch what crappens live show in the year of our lord 2017 i fell in love with you ben and ronnie and then when i started my gay ass podcast you so beautifully said yes about coming on and now i'm actually recording a show about a brother family of four bros in missouri my home state pinch me ben pinch me this uh i i will i will I am so hashtag blessed by your kind words.

3:24And I have to say that now, as you say, that you started off as a fan of the podcast and now you're here on the podcast, that makes you kind of like the Janet of Watch What Crappings, right? It either makes me the Janet or a Make-A-Wish Foundation where I'm just such a sad gay twink that's just looking to get screen time. But I guess Janet, you could say she's a bit of a sad twink looking for airtime. Yeah, exactly. but you're much better than Janet I will say everyone should go listen to Eric's podcast which is is it a weekly podcast? It is yeah every single week Who is this person? You have a gorgeous guest on this episode there's a man this man on this guy right here is your latest guest Here's the deal here's the deal is I interview like either gay guys where I ask them whose fault is it that you're gay or I ask women who the gays be loved including one miss lisa renna has done the podcast yes arby shallow did the pod um uh but that gorgeous man you just showed me is uh on the substack bonus episode right really spicy and uh those are every monday for the spicy ones and every wednesday is the main pod apps spice hot guys on the spicy ones lisa renna and laura benanti etc well listen when when renna did the pod she actually like made a headline because she said that the beverly hills current season that she was not on was uh sinking like the titanic and then andy cohen confronted her on his serious show and she was like andy trying to like say that we took her words out of context and then she on her own podcast told harry hamlin that uh we misconstrued her words which listen i was mad for about three seconds and i was like the honor of being in miss lisa rena's web of lies you know again pinch me maybe someday you'll get blocked the way we are by her you know i can only hope and i can only hope be blocked by lisa although i don't think it was a mean block i think she wanted when she left beverly hills she just sort of like blocked everything it wasn't one of the clean break yeah no no we are like there's no issue no do you think Do you think Rinna will ever go back to Bravo?

5:42I think she would 100%. She is a working actress, and she understands the value of a paycheck. And if they say, hey, Rinna, we're going to pay you, look, a job is a job for her. She will do the Depends commercial. She'll go back to Bravo. I mean, she still is talking about Real Housewives a lot, so it obviously matters to her. So I don't think she cares at all. She will follow the money. She has that instinct in her. I think you're right. And that's a good instinct to have. Oh, especially when you're a Hollywood actress like she is. I just think that the fans when we post the clips from her people like hate Lisa Rinna, like the comments are the two people that the watchers really hate Lisa Rinna.

6:21And then have you been reading the comments on Tamra? Actually, we can do a tie into McBee Dynasty, because Tamra was on Watch What Happens with Steven Jr. And all the comments were dragging her facelift. yeah I mean Tamara definitely I think that obviously people hate Tamara she's like one of the classic villains of Bravo and but I think that Tamara's a little bit more comfortable in the villain role I think she's actually like fine with it and she enjoys it I think that Rinna says that she's comfortable with it I don't think she is I think that she is like crying into her pillow you know it's honestly when I see her trying to be cool with it in my mind I always think ooh you're so angry Rinna.

7:02That's what I'm thinking. I'd turn it on her. I don't think that she's comfortable. She's pretending like she's owning it. Speaking of you're so angry, rest in power to Denise Richards' marriage. I know. Rest in power to that seemingly forever marriage that is no longer forever. I can't believe it folded. Who was chasing them in the cars? Was it Mafia? Big Pharma. Maybe the Big Pharma got to their marriage. yeah they'll they'll get to you no matter what you got to be careful but by the way uh i just want to say before we dive into today's episode which is all about mcb dynasty um you have a live show this week in new york was it friday it's actually thursday thursday yeah so i'm uh doing this new solo show that is very gay very jewy if any of our jewesses out there uh it's called why all the drama where I tell my tale of going from a nice Jewish boy from Missouri to a gay Jewish slut in Los Angeles.

8:07And I'm very excited to do it in New York. And then the plan is to tour it to a few cities in the fall. So keep a look-see out for those dates. I love your ambition. I love what's going on here with you. And you wrote it yourself. And I did. Yeah, honestly, I'm not just buttering your biscuit. I like ever since starting to listen to your pod and Danny Pellegrino, I've been so inspired by people just making shit happen for themselves. And so I finally did enough therapy to say, enough is enough and just put your shit out there. Yeah, just do it. At 100 % put your shit out there. I went to one of your live shows, which is a different type of live show.

8:44And you were so great and so talented up there. You're a very natural performer. So I highly recommend if you're going to be in New York on Thursday, where is the show going to be? It's at Red Eye. It's right in the middle of Midtown, close to all of the action. 7pm on Thursday and then after we can flirt, grab a beverage and if you want to talk about McBee Dynasty, I am happy to, but I don't know if you're going to want to do that. I'm going to say, please talk to Eric about McBee Dynasty because I feel so bad that I made you watch this show. And then when you text me over the weekend, you're like, okay, I'm like midway through season one.

9:23I was like, oh no, please don't watch season one to cover this show i didn't even do that i was like i am not gonna watch well i did aspire to but did you oh yeah i saw that you because ronnie watched the whole thing and loved it and you kind of i was going to and you were going to i i listen i wanted i have like trauma from being a grade a student where i was like well i better you know find out the full herstory of these awful men but um i once you said not to watch the first season i said bloop turned off peacock and then went straight to this current season which hey at least i only had to watch three episodes that's way too many to watch so i was originally like okay i'll watch it because ronnie was really good he like we watched that full first season but then i thought or i can give myself an out and say hey i'm a bravo viewer so i'm going to watch mcb dynasty like i am a bravo viewer not because i don't feel like i have to research it they're dropping this show on us so i have to react like a bravo viewer not like a nbcu completionist and so therefore i saved myself a lot of time and effort uh and just like dove in for season two and so now we are on episode three of this show what do you think about mcb dynasty by the way and this is a safe space you you can be positive or negative however you feel you know what i'm gonna here's my honest take is that i have was prepared to hate it and i like it more than i thought only because we have a lawsuit involved and two russian women competing for one terrible man the personal interpersonal drama dramatiques i think there's a lot of promise there what i would rather gouge my eyes up and watch is the business bts of the mcbee meat business i do not care if they can get 4 ,000 pounds of brisket to this barbecue restaurant.

11:17I do not care if their car washes stay open. I care who's getting dicked down, by whom and when. That's what I think actually speaks to me. And were chickens killed in the process? I think that I was oddly invested in that stupid get brisket to the restaurant storyline. I don't know why. Well, I just wanted to eat good barbecue, and I hope the patrons of that restaurant were getting their brisket. But you said before we hit record how Steven Jr. is a terrible actor, and that's what's really been getting to me. You can tell the scenes that are like he's reading off of the script that the producers told him, and that's where I spoke right now.

12:05It's like high school improv. It's community theater. It's so bad. I remember one time in summer camp, I went to a summer camp for the arts. Which one? It was called Long Lake Camp for the Arts. Shout out. The Adirondacks. Shout out Long Lake, Camp Long Lake in the Adirondacks. And I remember that all day long you had different periods, right? And you could do woodworking or this or that. There's all these things you could do. And one thing you could do is improv. and I did that was my only improv experience in life is taking improv I kept long legs long leg long leg camp um and when I was in eighth grade and I remember then every Friday there would be a performance and so it'd be like a showcase of what all the performing arts sort of people were doing and so there'd be like you do like an improv thing and I remember one week I wasn't at this point I wasn't even I don't know why I wasn't part of this but they decided hey guys let's do like serious improv where we're gonna improv but not to try to be funny but we want to act out a serious scene but all improv and i just remember what setup did they give you for children i just remember it was it was these two guys and they were just talking and they were improv in their way through a scene i just remember them being like you don't understand man really hurt what you did really hurt they were like talking nonsense but with all these sort of like it was like the equivalent of if you told chat gpt to write a very serious scene between two characters and like that always stood with me that's that ridiculous scene up there on stage you really hurt me man like you hurt me man you didn't know you don't like the escalating voices and so when i see steven jr fighting that's what it sounds like to me it's like him being like we gotta hurry up you don't even know man you really hurt me man it's like oh man this guy it's no it's it's so i understand that he is so hot that they think that he can carry a show i understand that he wears cutout tank tops where we can see his nipples and listen i'm here for that but my theater camp story unfortunately is not as devastating as yours but it was my first role at camp sabra jewish summer camp at the lake of the ozarks in missouri shout out uh they made up a role in you're a good man charlie brown i was not woodstock the yellow bird no no i was woodstock's friend is he in the script no he is not oh i've had many uh i've had many uh original roles that one line added in.

14:38That way I could be a participant. Originated by Ben Mandlicker. Uh-huh. I have some roles that I have originated in like give my regards to Broadway's this grade. I killed it. I've told the story. I played like a Newsy and I had one line and I forgot it. I forgot it on stage. But look at you now, Ben. Look at you now. I've told the story. I will tell it again. There was like a scene where there's a character named Harrigan who like walks in and like we're all kind of newsies and we're all supposed to be like hey what are you doing there are you like what's like well what do you want to play some craps here again something like that we're all sort of like speaking in that way and my line was um we were looking for you harrigan so when it comes to with all the pattern i'm like hey we were looking for you carrigan that's all i had to say is we were looking for you harrigan and um it was a two-night engagement thursday friday thursday night nailed it i was like we were looking for you harrigan i mean and it was a star making role.

15:37Next night I was like, ugh. It was so easy. I don't even have to be nervous anymore. So we got up there and stayed. And I just zone out. I'm not paying attention. And then you feel that silence. And you're like, oh, it's my time to speak. And in my mind I wanted to say, where were you Harrigan? But I knew that wasn't the line. Because the line was, we were looking for you. So I wanted to say, where were you? But then I was like, that's not the line. And then I froze. And I was like, no, I can't even remember what the line was. And I stood there and I froze. and there was a piano on stage right next to me and I lurched over onto the piano.

16:09I slammed my hands down on the piano and I literally go, Harrigan, do something. I literally said that. Okay, telenovela queen. The only wrong choice is a small choice. Listen, when in doubt, bang the closest set piece and scream the first phrase that comes to mind. wait what age were you oh i was i i think i was um 12 11 or 12 and i remember i remember i was like so embarrassed and the director was like oh it was fine ben don't worry but then like afterwards we all watched like the vhs copy of it because someone really filmed it and you really see me up there on stage lurching over onto piano screaming do something i mean like it just and you just have all this like fast pattern like hey harry we're looking for you let's do something all right fast pattern devastating silence boom crash some young gay boy making a splash so anyway the point is that we all make choices in life and one of those choices is watching the mcbee dynasty um i don't think it's a very good show i think um it's like you it's a little bit better i thought the first episode of the season was better than i was expecting the second episode i thought was so bad i was like i don't know if i can ever watch this again because it really felt like a it really did not feel like a bravo show at all all the music cues were off it was just like everything was very fast it's all like narrated it just was like it just felt like some shitty a and e show or something like i was like please get this off of this is not bravo brand but then actually last night's show was a little bit better i thought it like sort of came back to life a little bit like we're starting to see the natural the people who are naturals at like you can tell when the drama is not made up so like when like i actually curious about your opinion kala kala kala kala good tv bad tv how do you feel i spent a little bit more time thinking about kala than i'd like to admit uh today and um i don't know if she's good tv there's part of me that's like you know what Kala kind of sucks I don't know like it seems like she's getting the raw end like again I don't have the context of last season but it seems like she's getting dicked around by this guy but she's also kind of like whiny and annoying and I'm like you know what I'm not going to co-sign Kala given that I'm probably not going to co-sign many people what do you think?

18:35I don't know it's just the sister dying sort of like gave me some empathy towards her and I just I think that when we look at Kala on her own we think she's a nay we think she's a chop but when we compare her to the other girlfriends who have that's true glass eye doughy eye deer in headlights like no personality i'm like at least calla is like kind of a bitch give me something to hold on to like casey and cole kill me literally literally yeah i agree i mean it's not you're not really this is not the hamilton sisters we've got going on here this is oh she's giving they're all giving aunt peggy they're all and peggy yeah they're not great um well let's dive into it let's dive into this recap as best as we can um it's season it's season two episode three this episode is actually called um the great chicken massacre which um you know i guess that's appropriate it wasn't as massacry as I thought it should have been given that name.

19:44Like it was, I would have liked, if you're going to name an episode, the great chicken massacre, I want to see, like, I want to see lots of dead chickens guts. And I want to see people like entering a chicken coop, falling to their knees, blood on their hands, screaming to the ceiling. Yeah. Instead of like a really anticlimactic FaceTime is the baby there. How many babies? Uh, nine. Oh, that's supposed to be 12. Okay. where's where is the massacre yeah only three chickens died and i feel like i feel like you have to kill more chickens to create more emotion i'm sorry i started the animal lovers out there but given that chickens are like killed on the regular for you know consumption losing three just did not like hit me with the same killing three chickens a massacre does not make no i think if you kill one dog, it's awful.

20:37And I'm saying that as someone who's not even a dog person. That's terrible. But it takes probably about, I'm going to say it takes about 120 chickens to reach the empathy levels of one dog. Now, I think that's the emotional burden of the chicken death affecting our psyches, 120. You know, one dog. How many cats? Well, for me, it's like half a cat. Yeah, a scratch on the cat. A scratch on the cat, and I'm like, how dare they? I'm a dog person, but I do love a kitty cat as well. But also, no, but I think honestly, one dog, one cat, like equal levels of dismay. But I think for chickens, you have to kill.

21:12You just have to kill many more chickens to get the same level of dismay. And I feel terrible saying that. And I know that there are animal lovers and I will probably get some messages being like, how could you say that chickens are animals and the beautiful burgers are actually people are going to say they're actually a lot smarter than you think. They're all that stuff. but when the show takes place at a literal farm where they are serving up the meat of these animals I think we're allowed to say that we can talk about chicken death with a little less sensitivity to any of the angry listeners yeah like I'm so sorry that there were three chickens that died at the that belonged to a man who kills cows every single day right and maybe Galena maybe was a part of three chickens dying but do we have a single shred of evidence or the car that she maybe created or the frying pan that she maybe I'm like these producers are banging shit stealing chickens they are doing all that they can to create a single plot line for this show they're doing a lot of great prop work so we open with Kala lying in bed and her friend Madison calls because Kala moved down to Dallas because she's like, I've had it, Steven.

22:25I've had it. Because I think she found out that she found out that Steven told everyone in the family that Calla hates them. And then she sort of like, he kind of like really embarrassed her and really soured relationships. So I think that's why she left and went back down to Dallas, if I remember correctly. I shockingly have already forgotten because it was not riveting enough for me to stay in my brain. But see, that's the only part of the Steven Kala thing that gets to me, which is that Steven told all of his siblings and their girlfriends to not reach out to her when her sister died. I'm like, that's fucked up.

23:05That's a man kicking a girl when she's down. And these men are terrible. I mean, look, if someone gets mad at us about our lack of empathy about chicken murder, but that they don't come down on this man right now like you better know your priorities because this person that is really fucked up that is fucked up and also what's fucked up is that this entire family obeyed that they didn't say no I'm going to reach out because she's a human and I know her they were like well Stephen says so so you know Stephen says that she called us hillbilly fucks so we're now not going to text her when her sister died that is not it's it's not like one dog to one chicken yeah yeah exactly Exactly.

23:49Math isn't math ain't. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crapins commercial.

24:00This episode is sponsored by Butterball Turkey. Butterball. Care hard, cook easy. I was watching The Real Housewives of Orange County the other night, and I was thinking so much of this drama could have been solved with turkey. I think that about so many things. Exactly. Just get everyone around the table with a delicious meal, a turkey meal. That's how you bring people back together. What if it wasn't Thanksgiving? Being the Grand Dom isn't a one-day-a-year affair. Every day is a chance to get down with turkey burgers, ground turkey, and more. Eating turkey is like watching Bravo. You can do it anytime, and the more you do it, the happier you are.

24:35Yeah, Butterball Turkey is made for everyday moments that bring people together with ease, and it tastes great while doing it. Do you think if a Butterball turkey showed up at the Real Housewives of Rhode Island reunion, it could bring everyone back together? Maybe it would, girly. Maybe it would. I love a turkey. Butterball simplifies cooking so you can focus on who you're cooking for. Butterball has turkey made for the way you care, whether you're cooking for your best friend or mending bridges with your frenemy. Butterball. Care hard, cook easy. Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Okay, can we all agree that hosting is so much fun?

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26:26So she's mad, so she decided to move all the way back to Dallas for two days. So she moved to Dallas. She's like, I am done with Steven. I absolutely am done with him. But I also want him to co-sign on my apartment. girl what why do you like this that's not how you break up with someone it's it's the way you break up with someone when the sex is that good do you think they're having do you think that's why a hundred percent that's what's keeping them together she's like that's how you break up with someone when you want someone to call and beg you to come back yeah and I think they stare at themselves in the mirror when they have sex that's the kind of people they are I think I think definitely and I think they probably have a lot of shower sex which is why she went to the shower as soon as she came back so she has this whole thing where she drags out all of her girlfriends she's like I am done with him and then they're like they get drunk at a bar in Dallas and there are the girls at the bar going bye Stephen bye Stephen bye oh my god shots for Kala they even have a sign that says bye Stephen which you know of course is a memory it both harkens back to Southern Hospitality the southern hospitality signs but it also reminds me of the time when britney went down to um went to a club for her like a bachelorette party and they brought out a sign that said dump jacks or something and then she lost her mind right well i also love the throwback to a woman doing the splits on a bravo telepro television program because she did the splits not once not twice But three times.

28:03On her little phone recap with her friend. Which I do appreciate her Dallas friends. I kind of thought that the little sneak peek. The little peek we got of them. Was more interesting than fucking. Casey and Allie. K. Casey. No not K. Casey. I stuttered. Casey. I was like damn. K. Casey fellow podcaster. Catching a stray. Not as boring as K. Casey. no I love Casey and Allie who are just such terrible listen I don't think they signed up for it I don't want to go on too hard on them because they did not sign up for this show but at least Calla's friends are doing the splits in the bar give us something yeah they didn't have to sign up for this show but they could have also signed up for some personality and that's not hard to do so instead what we get is we go back over to Missouri to Gallatin Missouri was that near did you grow up in Gallatin by the way please say yes I wish I could I could lie to you and say I did I'm actually from the other city whenever they say the city and I'm like what are they talking about and I found out it was Kansas City I'm from St.

29:12Louis Missouri so I'm like really from the metropolitan center of Missouri but Gallatin is like I mean I did not know about it until this show I mean last time I checked there was no arch in Gallatin so and don't get it twisted Yeah, Gallatin has, I'm sure, farms and then people fucking animals. I think that's as much excitement as goes down in Gallatin. I'm sure it's actually very lovely. But it's no St. Louis, that's for sure. So Casey, speaking of which, here's something exciting happening in Gallatin. Cole and Casey are at the drive-thru, not the drive-thru, they stop at the gas station or whatever, and Cole's going to get some snacks.

29:52And Casey, she's pregnant, so she wants all these things. She wants peanut M &Ms. and she says, I want some peanut M &Ms, body armor, popcorn chicken, and a honey mustard I like, maybe chips, baked or kettle cooked, or can you get me one of those pickles, that's it. So that's fine, you know, it's a funny pregnancy thing. Body armor, where did the body armor fit into that list? I was confused too about the body armor. Is that a snack? Well, I think it's actually, it is a drink, but it's like a sports drink with a terrible name. because what's the when you think of body armor what does your brain go to I think of like a bulletproof vest I think of like axe body spray that's where I go yeah I thought it might have been like a deodorant or something like that axe body spray so body armor together it's a fruit punch coconut water hydration with potassium and vitamins and electrolytes I hate it I hate it I hate it.

30:52I hate that she ordered it. It says everything about her. So, um, yeah, so he's getting her food. Um, and then we go over to the McBee farm and cattle company and so Stephen McBee is at his desk and trying to reach Galena. So Galena's gone missing because, um, she is spiraling because her best friend Masha has basically taken over her role as lover to Stephen McBee senior and, and Galena's not having it, any, any part of it. So she's now gone AWOL and no one knows where this woman is i mean in my mind it's like you fire her like she's fired right away right like you are this i don't know what her role is cfo cf something yeah the chief financial office dress yes so she should be fired and because here's the thing she's gonna if they're concerned that she's gonna like out all the all the skeletons she's gonna do that no matter what she already starts to do it this episode so just get ahead of it and fire her because why should you pay for someone to make your life hell right oh yeah i i think that the way that steve senior is running this business and then and then having romantic triangles with the women that are running the actual company he i can possibly is one of the dumbest men on bravo which is saying a lot yeah and he's not even we don't even get to see him so he is apparently in cozumel at the moment with Masha on vacation and Galena is like, she's triggered.

32:20She can't deal with it. She had to go. She's just, she's disappeared. We don't know what, like what hell she's causing, but we know she's up to no good. Whenever she goes, goes away. It's like in those movies where someone's like a werewolf and they like disappear and they come back and they're like shirt is tattered and they've just killed someone. Right. I'm assuming that's what happens. I don't know if you've actually seen too many werewolf movies. I haven't either, but I'm going to co-sign that. But I also think it's funny that Steve took Masha on vacation and somehow Galena found out and he has no idea how she found out.

32:48I just love thinking of Galena as like a Russian operative who is somehow underneath every single bad thing that's going on at this company. Well, you have to imagine that Masha probably sent a photo to Galena. It was like, oops, sorry, wrong number. Didn't mean for you to see that. Oopsies. You know they have some strange. That was my sister. galuna uh yeah no she masha is i i'm confused about what is happening organically i'm not i'm not surprised that steve senior is fucking another russian blonde that i'm not surprised about i am curious about if masha and galina were actually best friends that's my question that is a really great question so steven is like he's he's walking around the office and he's pissed and we know he's pissed because he's like, I can't get a hold of her.

33:38I am pissed. I am pissed. Look at me. I'm angry. The producer said I should be angry. So I'm going to be angry right now. So he's huffing and puffing. And I love Cara in the office. She's the administrative assistant. I don't know if she's had a role in season one, but Cara pretty much sits at this little desk and has like very big reactions. She has a sort of reaction of like an extra who's doing too much in the background of a scene. you know yeah it's kind of like in all the scenes like when aviva's leg was thrown and then you cut to like the gay guy sipping of a gin and tonic yes that's a little bit of big mouth yeah she's the version she's the less fun version of that for this show yes so he's like cara have you seen galena she's like i have not seen her okay well i have to go down to the city and not the other city with the arch you know that not that one with all that that's all those gays there with the mustaches.

34:31No, we're going to Kansas City. He really called you out. I was like, really, I couldn't believe he said that. I couldn't either, but you know what? If he wants to see my mustache in person, I would unfortunately let him take a close look. I'm not proud of that, Ben. A toxic man from Missouri I've been known to fantasize about from age 13 to now. This show must be really doing something for you. This is a real hotbed of toxic men from Missouri. I know, I know. It's not surprising that I am into men who cannot communicate and shut down whenever you want to have any sort of emotional conversation with them.

35:16I would never say that about Steven Jr. He seems very emotionally mature and very communicative at all times. He's not an eight-year-old child and the man and the body of like a gorgeous weightlifter. Yes, precisely. So he's saying that he's like, I've always defended Galena because her work ethic and what she's done for the company but now at this point there is no work ethic. She's just gone. So then we just hear like a singer being like, take my hand, take control, take my body, take my soul, which I'm not sure why that was the song for the moment, but sure, why not and uh steven goes to bryant's barbecue over in kansas city and he has a meeting there with the guys there and basically it's like a potential new client for their meat and so you know uh you know so he's like well you know it seems like every celebrity that's coming to kansas city they stop here at this place i mean they they've that this place has transcended kansas city i mean i know there have been some presidents that i've eaten here and then the owner is like and you know ted lasso's favorite barbecue sauce is from year two like sure can you explain that to me what does that mean this ted lasso's character drinks on the show their barbecue sauce i guess ted lasso's um favorite barbie i guess i'm sure there was this i didn't watch ted lasso i didn't either is ted lasso i thought telassa was a character correct ted lasso is not a real person but this guy is like yes we've had presidents who've come here but more importantly a fictional character on apple apple tv plus really enjoys our bird once enjoyed my other favorite thing is that they cut to the biggest celebrities and presidents which barack obama shout out but then domus glover well that was also funny that like it's like obama was there but like but more importantly ted lasso likes our barbecue sauce and by that i mean danny glover Danny Glover um isn't that who it is it's I I only remember seeing I there was there I think they show a picture of Barack Obama and then Danny Glover who like you know he is a great actor lethal weapon we love but it's just very funny to me that like they could have given us a full range of the celebrities and we see we hear about Ted Lasso and then we see Danny Glover and then Obama like I guess I don't really, you know.

37:42You know? I just feel like if I were Andy and I was on national TV and I got to brag about the celebrities that came to my restaurant, I just don't know if Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, I know people love, people love Ted Lasso to honestly an annoying degree. Like it's kind of the bane of my existence. I just think that like, I don't know. But I guess he knew, he was like, the moment he brags to Steven Jr., you know Obama came in here, Steven Jr. was like, well it was nice meeting you i'm gonna hang up up the road i know i don't think we need to ask who these people are voting for he's like well anyway i you know i don't know if army is a good match for you guys i want but see i want that version of the show where we got to like have like maybe one of the girlfriends voted democrat and then like they actually have to talk about that like that would be a fun version of family drama yeah like turns out casey casey was like like well actually i think that bernie sanders has some interesting yes yeah yeah casey's a bernie she has like an elizabeth warren t-shirt that she puts hey guys what's going on today i'm actually really anti-ice and all the people all the other brothers are like like what how dare you so um anyway these people those are the the restaurant puts in their they're thinking about like working with mcb's and so they want to put in a big order and they really care about timing because they have to because they have to start they have to start smoking their meat you know at a certain time in the day and of course they need to set up the the plot line that you know do you see it being an issue no i don't see it being an issue we run a very large operation we run about 2 000 head calf payers all angus he's given telling them why their business is always incredibly dependable so of course this business deal will only be smooth right oh i'll be it will be the smoothest honestly i was i was sort of like watching the scene and i was like why is the scene going on so long about make about making a deal for beef and i wasn't even thinking you were smart because i wasn't even thinking they were setting anything up i thought it was just like this is what we do is as meet people i didn't even realize that i was being set up i only realized it when they started to go so specific about their delivery windows and i was like i understand the show is bad but there needs to be some sort of purpose for me learning about the delivery window of this random barbecue restaurant in kansas city missouri and then stephen jr goes you know i'd rather over communicate than go dark and do anything to mess your guys business function and so it's like okay i understand that yeah the business function is incredibly important apparently for this goddamn show i don't care about brisket delivery windows.

40:33I feel like there's a world where I would care, but it's not going to be on this show. Like, I think I would need the show to be specifically about that. It would have to be called like brisket delivery windows. I'm like, you know what? I think I'm interested to see how that show works. Right. Like really specifically about that. But if I'm tuning in to see like messiness and then I'm like sitting and having to endure a conversation about brisket delivery windows, you know, it's not, it's not a fit for me. Well, I think the problem that we're really sort of broaching over and over is that steven jr is not the right person to be at the center of this because if like galena was a part of being uh doing all the logistics because she's always very dependable but then because of her heart being broken she starts to lose her mind and then actually starts fucking up sure but it kind of seems like steven always sucks at his job they're always like he never comes to the farm he never comes to the field to help with the fire and then he's like well duh he sucks he does suck he really does suck honestly I know he has like a great body and everything I don't enjoy his like sleeveless tees that he does I don't like the way that he cuts them he can't even do that right you know I know he's showing nip I like looking at them I'm sorry no no no no I enjoy looking at the muscles he's showing nip I feel like there's like a better way to do it I don't know.

41:56Oh, it's true. You know what? For me, it's like taking care of the young version of me in Missouri who felt insecure about being either gay or different. And I'm like, you know what? At least he's a slut with no taste. At least that's how he's showing his difference. His true colors are having terrible taste, but at least wanting to show off his pointy nipples. his nipples and his like very very wide lats that like kind of poke out like really like can i say something really specific too they show something they do a clip of him uh over his shoulder and i saw a little bit of hair on his shoulder and i was like i feel i feel seen it's a dream your brisket delivery but no was met at that moment i'll say all 4 000 pounds that they're trying to get every single week?

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45:25So then we hear another transitional song and we hear, hey mama, will you be my lover? I need you in my life. I took my time, went round and round, but I really need to get this right. sure sure i think that was an ode to the brisket by the way really need to get this brisket delivery right yeah and i think it's giving like if selling sunset was doing the dumbest country songs you've ever heard selling gallatin yeah so uh cole is sitting at a computer and he's trying to design a flyer for a gender reveal um which i'm in general i'm like very opposed to gender reveals i think they're absolutely annoying i think they're unnecessary and they're just an excuse for people to like book your time and energy and like light things on fire i just don't want to see them at all and so of course cole is going to be doing a gender reveal that's the least surprising news of all to come out of this.

46:29And what's even less surprising is that they're involving a helicopter. It's like, I think gender reveals are usually quite annoying, but I think if they're within the bounds of a kitchen, if you're slicing into a cake on an island, God bless. Live your truth. I love any excuse to have dessert. However, when we start to see pyrotechnics, military aircrafts, I think we've lost the plot anything that involves smoke because the truth is I don't know if I inherently care that much about the gender reveal and maybe that's just me because I'm just like ice cold on the inside I don't really care like just tell me I'm not like waiting in suspense to find out like it's exciting for you not for me really like just let me know what I should be getting off the registry and we're done but even then like my woke moment is that I'm like okay so So if you find out the baby is a boy or a girl, like how much do you have to change your preparation?

47:30I hate when it's like, they are all talking about when they do the gender reveal later, when they finally find out what the gender is. And it's all of a sudden like, you gotta protect her. Make sure you, it's like always like, if it's a girl, she's a dainty, weak little thing. And if it's a boy, now he's going to take over the world. It's like, I, that's where, that's my Missouri trauma coming out. where it's like you do understand that we live in a world where a girl is not all of a sudden destined to be a weak right person needing all costs yeah like exactly who's gonna protect her her dumb fucking dad and uncle yeah definitely not them and when cole was like well now that i found out that she's a girl i'm gonna start learning about like girl stuff now because like i gotta know i'm like i love that like otherwise if it hadn't been a girl you would not have even cared about learning anything about women you're like well now i've got to pay attention to women now well you hear the way that their mom talks about how they deal with women that's a little scary she says like in the last episode too i think she's like a couple times she's like the way that they treat women the way they talk about women i'm like this the dad steve senior i think is a villain.

48:48He is a villain. But also, Mom, you are still like their mom. You are still an authority figure in their life. Can you at least try to get them... You see where they're going astray. Could you at least try to get in there and try to be like, hey, I'm the mother here. I don't care what your dad says. I'm your mother. You stay in this fucking party right now. Come on, Mom. Did you just quote Toni Collette in Hereditary? I'm your mother. I was too scared to see that movie, but I'll just say yes. I didn't see it either. I just saw the meme. I'm a scaredy cat. I cannot see. I just, I watched sinners over the weekend.

49:23That's about as scary as I can get. I wasn't, I love sinners. Yeah. I, my, my husband, Matt is like a horror scary Mary and I do not go with him, but sinners I heard was good enough that I showed. And I'm very glad I did. I really enjoyed sinners quite a bit. So you hear, you heard it here last everyone sinners is a good movie. Yeah, yeah. If you haven't heard about it, Sinners is out of theaters, but you should catch it streaming. So, Annie, who so Cole is designing a flyer with Tessa. Tessa's looking over. They're using print shop from 1987 to make this flyer. Are you going to put critters? Are you going to put little critters on there?

50:07Baby bottles or something like that? I mean, look, I'm Tessa, but even I know this thing needs little bit of something to it okay you can't fix it up did you click on the right clicky thing i ain't done this in sixth or seventh grade like we're doing gender reveal posters in sixth grade wow my favorite is when she's like she's like we need a crash course on this because what is windows 50 now by this time and he goes no it's like google she goes wait we're on google oh good night as if google has like been invented a year ago oh we're doing that new high tech google now and they're saying this by the way we can see they're on an imac like it's just windows 50 windows it's on google's now and the artificial intelligence oh artificial intelligence that's what we called you for growing up what's it open ai how do you know about that but not google docs is this that c plus plus again prism huh she has like i her references of her technology this poor i mean listen it's not to shit on gallus in missouri but i'm thrilled that at least cole is even taking the reins on designing a flyer and hey can we give props to uh tessa for doing is it a mcb or mcshe i think that's smart copywriting that was pretty good that was pretty good um i have to say though they lose marks because it's like can you guys just open up a canva account because this was just a sad a sad flyer i don't know how you're going to motivate anyone i i hope your flyers for your show look better than this because you're not going to motivate anyone to come to an event with with this sort of bad basic font bad kerning bad spacing bad clip art oh i want better terrible and then like they like tape it on just like the bathroom door and the next like the wrenches and shit i first of all canva i am a forever uh i'll forever bow down to canva that is my girl um but my also my other favorite part from this scene is where she calls casey and then they he goes what time do you want it to be at and she goes she goes sunset he goes that's not the time that i was thinking and then he goes okay 6 p.m at the red what is it the red barn red barn pavilion and then of course can you spell pavilion it's a it's a fair question and yeah he spelled it wrong yes and tess like yeah he got it right in there pavilion got it right there he got the z and everything so okay should be good so yeah they come up with uh micky or mick she um and you did good kohler bean is i guess her big name from kohler bean cole and i wonder what the etymology of kohler bean is kohler bean well you know you got to squeeze the bean to get your coca-cola you know coca-cola comes from beans that's what i heard you gotta soak those coca-cola beans for a whole day before you can get your soda out of them i've been telling steven i want us to grow our own coca-cola we got a whole bean farm in the back and i think we could do a die and a zero you know they he says he wants corn he says he wants beef i'm telling you cola is the way to go okay and if we're really if we're really feeling uh excited it we could do a mr pib you know i love a mr pib you know you could do all sorts of interesting crossbreeds they got some cherry coca-cola beans too now and that's the flavor of cola with cherries as you know it's all there in the name i mean i don't know why we're not doing this i knew that because i went to an amc theater once but that was in the big city of kansas city missouri i have to tell you that nicole kidman she is much taller than i ever thought took up the entire screen.

54:02We come to this place for cola.

54:08That's what I learned. And so I took some cola beans back from that theater and I planted them everywhere. It's like, Tessa, that's just popcorn. Now those are cola beans. I think we should do a popcorn field. And you know what? I got some of those mackin' ox. Can we grow mackin' ox too? Here's what I was thinking. Okay, follow me. we take some cola beans and we take some popcorn beans we're putting them in the feed and we're going to see which one pops up and when we can have we can set up a flyer and say is it a mick hey or a mick she and the she will be the popcorn the he will be the cola so that way we can reuse those flyers you see what i'm saying here you gotta think big sometimes and then maybe i can figure out on um google word that we can put nicole kibben on the poster too i've already called her people and they say that she's very interested she never turns down a jab it's the only thing is she needs to wear a wig and i've got plenty of those this is not my natural hair cola bean kayla said that she would make nicole a prosthetic nose just that way she could be an oscar contention it's going to be the others too no the hours too it's going to be a hybrid of the hours and the others okay and it's going to be a very powerful film and because our cola beans okay i think we got the future for this farm all settled up i do like i do like the dead mom tessa i because she's the only person who can take a script and really deliver it because you can tell for every recap this will happen last week or in the fall like she at least is giving us like she's hitting certain continents yes words she at least can give us can give us a really direct emotional plea with the lines that the producers are giving her yeah she's really the star here so basically cala you know cala is in the throes of independence she has decided this family is absolutely toxic to me i don't need to be here i need to be with my girls in dallas we're gonna do splits we're gonna listen to carrie underwood we're gonna be like that's my jam every time music comes on and uh we do not need for me to be going back up to missouri cut to her she is now returned to missouri two days later in stephen jr's house and she is here ostensibly because i think she's trying to get money for her apartment is that the excuse that she's using i guess because like what is that whole flashback where she tells casey and ally that sometimes stephen will give her 10 or 20 000 out of the blue yeah like he'll or it was like a monthly allowance or something like that so i think she's like you know i have a lifestyle that i've been maintaining and i'm up here to to maintain it um they also show this flashback about five times this episode of him they had this whole fight last episode and it's him in the car going you are the most pessimistic person to ever speak about my family um which was like really tough to watch because that was seconds after she said that she felt really alone when her sister died and then no one reached out to her and then he's like well you hate my family and it's like that has nothing to do with what she is saying it he that i think i think ultimately uh that's how you can see the relationship failing over and over again is that he has no way to deal with uh an adult over the age of 13.

57:31that's correct and um when he says you're the most pessimistic person to ever speak about my family honey you are on bravo now there's gonna be a lot of us talking about your family yeah buckle up buckle up so um she's coming in and like he's already like moved like some decor around and um you know so there's that she's like wow it's all different now and he's like whatever counts as decor in that house and then uh steve it's like oh you moved the marshall's poster the wood block that says hello in five different languages you moved it to a different room where the frog statue go so um he's talking about how they're very volatile volatile volatile they're very volatile volatile hi hey can you tell me about vulnerable did i spell that correctly um i'll try to i'll try to uh pull up my microsoft windows 40.

58:29i wrote my google google excel um so they're talking about apartments and she's saying that she's been looking at apartments and you know she like you basically she she wants the money for it she basically wants him to pay for it and she's saying like you know what i've uprooted my life for steven twice i moved to from dallas to gallatin and then back to dallas and then back to gallatin And I'm like, some of that's on you lady. Sorry. Well, then Steven talks about how they've broken up. Like how many times? 15, 16 times. He says they've broken up 15 times. Literally. What in what world? How many breakups do you think is excusable for a relationship?

59:14Like I think. Two. Two is the maximum as a grown ass adult. I think two. I think you can have one where you're like, oh, this was a mistake. Second time. That's it. That's my first boyfriend. I was like my first love. We broke up once we were, I was in single for like a month. I started to be like, oh my God, I'm like happy being single. And then we got coffee and he asked me to get back together. And then I said yes, because I was, I like didn't want to be single deep down. I just like, was afraid of never finding anybody else. And then the second we got back together, I knew it was the wrong choice.

59:48And then we broke up officially like four months after that. I think your first love when you're 21, break up twice. Absolutely. But 15 or 16 times, how old is Steve, Steven? I mean, he's not a child. I don't know. I imagine he's like 33 or something like that. 35. I also think that this could be this, this may be fucked up thinking, but it's just where my brain went. I have to, I have to be honest about what I think about when I watch these shows. If you can't like, like if you're, How am I supposed to trust you to run a company if you can't even run your relationship, right? Oh, no. Well, that's exactly what the matriarch of the family says, whatever her name is.

1:00:31Because she was saying that. I'm going to call her Roxanne. Roxanne. She sort of has some Roxanne energy to her. And I think she could also be like Roxy Hart. We're going to see her next in Chicago and Broadway. But I think when Roxanne's like talking about how her business has done so well, I think it's in the second episode. Yes. And then how now the farm is completely falling apart because the guy at the head of it has a chaotic personal life. It's the same thing with with Steven Jr. Yeah. Now, I know there are, of course, stories of like people who are rock star CEOs who are really successful people.

1:01:10and they're amazing with their jobs and their personal life is in shambles that's fine i mean it sucks for their personal life but like that's that's not what's happening here this is not like someone who's really good with business and then has like a trail of destruction in their wake on the personal side this is someone who is actually sucks at all of this sucks at business too this is someone this is a uh kendall from succession situation going on here right and by the way i I looked up his age and he is 32 years old. So very close. I don't know if the jawline is all natural, which is adding some years to the face, but it's not for me to decide.

1:01:52It's an aging jawline. So Kala announces that she's going to go the gender reveal, which is, I think weird. If you were broken up, then I don't think you could, if you're broken up and you're on a weird terms about family anyway, why are you going to the gender reveal? I'm sort of getting vibes. Like she just really wants to be on TV. baby because cameras are up cameras are up and that's why she's that that's why i'm curious about when they've brought the cameras to dallas to see her go out with her girlfriends my flash into the future was that this was going to become her show i don't think it is actually but my fear was that they decided to put their eggs in her basket and create the show around her but i think ultimately if they break up for good is she still going to be on the show that's what i'm curious about no but she's always gonna follow those cameras i mean they met on joe millionaire apparently so did you watch that i did not i watched the original one back you know 25 years ago yeah to say but um uh i did not watch that i i don't think i even realized joe millionaire was back was it on fox again sounds like it would have been i had no idea when they said that he was from joe millionaire i was like oh well i guess smart to like give someone that was a good television figure, another show.

1:03:06And then I watched him and I said, Oh no, they, they did it for the nipples and nothing else. Yeah. Did it for the nipples. Oh, by the way, I also feel bad for Kala's Dallas friends because Kala is so that person who's like, I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm single now we were going to party and you're like, Oh my God, finally my friend is back. We can party. And then two days later back with a boyfriend, never see her again. And we all have those friends who do that to us. They like feed us these lies that they finally have broken the cycle of the codependency that they were in in their relationship and now you can finally like socialize with them you can go to dinner with them you can go out with them the things that you loved about your friend originally that made you friends with them that was like was taken away from you by some some guy you're like ah finally and then of course like as soon as the man comes calling she's gone I honestly I can't I've actually cut out all my friends like that who are like that in my life I have to I because it really like it goes from they're just was destroying their lives to then they're completely disregarding any of the hours of advice you had given them.

1:04:07If I'm going to give you all this gorgeous advice over Ben and Jerry's, and then we're going to then agree to go back to our friendship and you dating actually good people only for you to go back to them. And God forbid you're a gay in her life, because our lot in life as gays is to be abandoned by straight people when they get married and get into relationships. That's true. So God forbid that you are that you as a gay, you, you hitched your ride onto her because she's, she's probably left you in the dust so many times over and over again. Yeah. I wonder if she has any gay friends. She probably has like a hairstylist or something, you know, that's Dallas.

1:04:45Yeah. Yeah. You know, something like that. Like a, or a friend who was like a cheer coach. So fingers crossed. Let's be honest. Knights of the roundup. so she's going to go to the gender reveal and Stephen assures her that no one's going to be acting weird to her which is a lie, everyone's going to be weird to her because they always are, and she's also going to be weird to them in return I'm also going to note, I'm going to tell you that spoiler alert so now we go to Jesse and Allie I think Jesse is the hotter McBee, personally I do too the only obnoxious thing I can say about this man's body is that I really have a thing for body hair which is something that I you know talk about too much and at one point they took off his shirt and it was giving very bare and that was a little disappointing i think his hair is stunning i think the face are b-a-r-e in this sorry sorry b-a-r-e is correct it was giving yeah you're right as a gay man i can't believe i can't believe i walked right into that jurgens it was giving jurgens it was giving there it was giving actually it might be naturally smooth like i can't knock a man for not being given hair by the lord but um he is he is beautiful he is beautiful and he seems to have a better personality so he's down in the city because jesse and ali have a city house because she listen she is a city girl at heart she likes to get her nails done she likes to go to a spa she's a city girl you know those big city girls that like to go to a restaurant I think in comparison to Gallatin a city girl is just being around more than what 12 people she's like I like to take my clothes to dry cleaners I like to have electricity running water I'm a city girl I see Sarah Jessica Parker and just like that oh my goodness it's more like and just like Allie am I right I'm such a city girl instead of 5th Avenue I get to go to Main Street and walk into a single grocery store.

1:06:51I'm a city girl. So he's making breakfast. And then because he's down in the city, because she's been saying like, hey, you're spending so much time up at the farm. You need to come down to the big city so we can have city times because she loves the city. She's a city girl. And so now he's spending time in the city house. And then Stephen Jr. calls. He's like, well, guess what? Heading over to the meat facility to figure out the Arthur Bryant deal that we're supposed to deliver on. And I'm rushing up the meat facility now. Can you help me out? Because I've got to get this deal done because I'm already running late because Galena's gone dark.

1:07:24Galena's gone dark. Oh my God, Galena's gone dark. And I can't even get a hold of her. And she's supposed to tell me when the meat was supposed to deliver. To me, you know what it sounds like? It sounds like you spent too much time fucking Kylo last night in the shower instead of looking at your schedule and seeing there was a meat delivery and knowing that Galena has already been gone. You should have been on top of that. I'm sorry. I'm not going to blame this one on Galena at all. Not at all. this woman's heart has been ripped out she took off a day and a half and then steven jr can't maintain a single day of this business running and so he's that that's but do you think that this is at all real do you think no no because because steven's acting so blatantly he's like he's like he's like jesse do something as he slams down onto a piano i was like wow been there if i had a nickel um i'd have two which is actually quite a lot for jesse do something it's it's uh i think that the actual drama is real though with ali and jesse with the city house and him wanting to be a farm boy like that to me does feel like they built this truly gorgeous house the kansas city house the shots that they show of like uh calla calla walking in and seeing it for the first time i'm like you know what it's nice it's gorge it's a gorgeous house i would keep the city house quite frankly i also think that like i don't know so is this a is this a strange take 90 minutes is a long commute but like so much of i feel like i feel like anytime you talk to anyone who's like worked on a farm or anyone who's been on any shows that's like a farmer this is what they do they say oh well you know me i'm up at six i'm doing this and that i'm doing this i'm taking the cows and bragging about all the hard work that they do so i'm like well if you're such a hard worker, then do a commute.

1:09:13Like, I don't know. It's kind of like you wake up an hour earlier. Yeah. If your whole identity is about like that you do hard work, we'll just add this to your hard work identity. I'm normally, I would not say like, Oh, whatever. It's a 90 minute commute. Like that sucks. But like, I don't know if you're going to build a house down in Kansas city, I would also want to use it too. Right. Well, it's also, I think the deeper issue between the two of them is that they've been together since high school and that she, they're both just comfortable, but he's super lazy and she's a city girl. And so he is just, and so, and so he's clearly not wanting to put an ounce of effort into, uh, being in the same place as her.

1:09:51You know, my favorite thing to do is as a podcaster is that when you have like a side that you, that you've taken, how you will warp your own logic just to make it like literally my entire hot take I just had was so ridiculous. Like just you're a farmer, wake up 90 minutes earlier on your already very long day and just make that drive i don't see what the problem is is that coming from podcast trauma what do you think that is i think so i think yeah no the way that i in real life have podcast moments that i'm like this is devastating like i'll like the one thing that's really bad is that i know that you can just edit out a pause in an interview and so sometimes if i can't think of remember what i'm going to say i'll be with a group of people and i'll be like and then um and then a whole group of people will be waiting for me to say something and i realized they can't edit out a pause in real life oh yeah one thing that happens with we since we podcast so much that um sometimes i start to sometimes i develop a hot take on something i have no interest in whatsoever but i start doing it and then all of a sudden i'm like why am i developing this hot take right now and now i'm committed to it so i've got to see it all the way through and then i finally have to end i have to finish you have to wrap it up and you and so I wind up in this place with a hot take I didn't care about to begin with but for some reason I started it because I'm like I'm podcasting right it's muscle memory I interview people I interview people all of a sudden I start asking like admittedly great questions but I people don't need to be interviewed without consent I think that's a great quality to interview people I think it's good to be inquisitive about people so I think that's a good that's that's a good trait to pick up from your podcast I don't think having a hot take on every single stupid thing really matters in life.

1:11:28It's like, oh my God, that doorknob. Why do we even have doorknobs? We shouldn't even have doorknobs anymore. This chicken sandwich, hot take, should actually be less breaded. And I think, and then you do a full 10-act play. Yeah.

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