#2927 The Valley S2E14 Part One: Jax On, Jax Off with Dylan Hafer

0:00Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Okay, can we all agree that hosting is so much fun? And I really do love it. Every weekend, it's come over for snacks, let's make dinner together, and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter, it seems that bugs show up before your friends do. This is why I have to have my Zivo flying insect trap. You plug it in and you let it do all the work. It's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had. And wow, did we have a lot. like house flies, fruit flies, gnats, and then with Zivo, bam. Next thing you know, the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors.

0:39The best part is the design is actually sleek and curved, so it hides the bugs it catches, keeping them out of sight, and when the cartridge is full, you just grab the no mess tab, throw it in the trash, pop in a new cartridge, and then you're done. No mess, no stress. So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zivo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection. Plug in a Zivo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home. A beautifully designed Squarespace website is the difference between thinking about photography school and selling your portraits online.

1:21It's the difference between giving away those cookies you just made for free and running your cookie empire. A beautifully designed Squarespace website is the difference between having a movie reviewing hobby and a movie reviewing career. Squarespace, because no matter what you're into, a website makes it real. Use offer code THE DIFFERENCE for 30 % off select plans. Terms and conditions apply.

1:54Ben Mandelker: Watch what happens when there's so much that crappens. Watch what crappens. Watch what crappens. Watch what crappens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. ronnie is out and today in his place we have the esteemed and glorious and wonderful dylan hafer from betches great to see you dylan thank you so much for joining me today how are you i am great i'm excited to talk about the valley you know it's it's it's a great day i always i always love talking about what those crazy kids are up to yeah well it's a great day to be talking about the valley it is probably the hottest show on tv right now and oh oh oh i don't know if you heard that is it sounds like we have some breaking news um this just in about three minutes ago according to me jacks taylor is stepping away from the valley can you even believe it dylan this news just broke right before we started recording how are you processing you know I wish him well.

3:11I love that really he got to make this decision for himself, that he needs to step away to focus on his recovery. And I hope that he feels good about this decision. And I won't miss him. Yes.

3:29Ben Mandelker: And it was definitely his decision. I mean, 100%. He chose. He was like, you know what? I'm going to leave this show voluntarily. this is definitely a Jax Taylor decision 100 % if you know if there's anything Jax is gonna do it's claim that it's his show and then be promptly removed from the cast the following season so he's two for two in that sense yes he is well you know maybe that social media job in Tampa finally worked its way out you know like maybe maybe they got through the red tape like look the hockey team is ready for you jacks i know you're on the valley but it's time it's time to come to tampa oh man i'm coming home i'm coming i can't wait i'm coming home to hockey man yeah um so he's clearly fired like obviously clearly fired and uh you know i feel like that's a good call it's interesting timing of the announcement that it's the the season finale is next week and then there's a reunion which i believe he was at the reunion so it's uh it's like i'm not quite sure why they're announcing it today but i i'll i'll take it whenever it comes yeah that is a it is a little surprising normally they announce the firings like right after the reunion is done right it's like like right after or maybe during the reunion but like not this it's still it's just a shade early maybe maybe bravo has to announce like a lineup maybe there's like a bravocon lineup or something or something that has to be announced that they have to like get this out of the way first they should start doing you know like on america's next top model when they would have the composite photo of all the girlies and then the one would sort of like dissolve away at the end of the episode they should start doing that with bravo firings like at the end of the reunion it's just like jack's kind of like you know gets like snapped away from the the cast photo yeah i think that would be i would love to see that um what do you think about this firing do you think this was the right move.

5:27Ben Mandelker: I mean, I'm a very big proponent of villains on Bravo, and I don't think that we should fire our villains just because they're villains. However, I think Jax did cross a line. I think the stories of what he was doing with Brittany were, it was a bit too much. What do you think? I think the thing with villains is that there has to be some give and take with somebody's dynamic in a cast. And I think on a show like The Valley, you have two people like Kristen and Janet who are able to sort of play off of each other in a way and you know Janet especially I think is um very polarizing with the audience but there is sort of she's not she's able to kind of like you know get it back sometimes and and kind of play different levels and I think with Jax just this whole season has just felt so depressing and watching him go to rehab and be you know more or less away for half the season and then come back and if anything show uh the opposite of growth the opposite of progress it feels like he's been more reactive and more angry and he's nothing that britney is saying to him is is clicking you know we'll get to this week's episode but it just feels like with him at least for right now I don't you know never say never there's just no there's nowhere to go with his storyline really yeah there's like nowhere even to go with him as a reality star I mean I think like the I think everyone was really horrified by the story of how he like flipped a table and was throwing things and broke like bar stools and like yes he did not like he didn't throw he didn't like throw them at Britney like technically they didn't hit her but it's still such a violent expression that it's scary and it feels like it's just a shade away from something like just no I don't think any of us wanted to really stand for that and wanted to like have that like you know I don't think anyone wanted to see a redemption arc for this guy because the thing is that this show is his redemption arc like he already was fired and like this was supposed to be his redemption arc and he still didn't get his shit together there's sort of an element of like this show is pretty stacked on the villain front you know you've got you've got janet you've got jesse you there's there's plenty other people who could probably step into the role so jacks isn't even really needed as a villain anymore here yeah we're we're so fortunate to have so much going on in this cast that this feels like it feels like an easy and obvious decision and i think there are on a lot of shows if you have had somebody with this kind of position, you would think like, oh man, I wish we could do this without them, but then what, what would the show be?

8:17And I feel like with the Valley, there's, there's lots of room for, for season three. And I'm excited to see Brittany in her single girl era without Jax, you know, lurking in the back of the frame all the time. So yeah, I think season, this makes me more excited for season three, not less.

8:35Ben Mandelker: I'll tell you what I'm not excited about. I'm not excited about what's gonna be clearly happening for Jax post the valley which is a plunge into the manosphere I think we're gonna see him like going like hard right I think we're gonna be like we're gonna see him complaining about people being woke I think we're gonna see him doing the Rob Schneider route and it's gonna be so annoying it's just gonna be him complaining about you can't even say anything anymore you know you try to grow like people don't want to listen to you anymore you know like the the white male is the most discriminated person in America.

9:08Ben Mandelker: Like, you know, he's going to do all those things and it's going to be so tiresome and no one's going to want to hear it. And he's going to, he's going to find an audience and he'll wind up on some show. It'll, it's really going to be a terrible trajectory. That is my complete prediction for him. I agree with that prediction. The silver lining for me is that I've been blocked by Jax for years, so I won't be able to see any of it. that's true yeah we were blocked as well um so uh yeah it's it's very fortunate on that front but yeah terrible trajectory for him um he's i mean he's really really also like what if you just look at his entire trajectory since when he arrived on bravo to now i mean this is really the descent of someone and and real and by the way this is also a real real good case study for why you should get into therapy before it's too late because like jacks is he's like a lost cause if you ask me it's crazy how pretty much everyone else who was a long-running cast member on vander pump rules is like kind of has something going on even tom sandoval has been able to sort of steer the ship a little bit in the last couple years you know he's going to be on house of villains he was on traders he's still doing the music thing i think he's found his niche as a villain now he's leaned into it and he's fine he's found his niche he's showed like just enough you know consternation or whatever and pretty much everyone else that was on that show maybe with the exception of james kennedy right now but like jax is kind of the one person who has never been able to like lock in and figure it out and i think yeah the time has kind of run out he was on house of villains but i didn't feel like was he good on that i actually never watched house of villains.

10:52Ben Mandelker: Did you ever, did you see it at all or no? It's hard to go. I've never sat down and watched it. The fact that that was an E show in like 2023 seemed like an indicator of kind of the quality level. I am curious. It's, it's moving to Peacock next season. So I'm, I'm wondering if they're going to kind of try and make that a little bit more of a thing, but I don't think Jack's really made much of a splash when he was on that show. Yeah. I mean, even if he did, it's still like it wasn't the way tom sandoval made a splash on traders where like yeah people left traders saying like oh my god i really like tom like that was his that that was his like he finally like broke out of scandoval jail with that like people were like okay we are we're willing to take you back into our lives in this new role as like dumb idiot villain but like jack's you know he was trying to parlay all this into like an hgtv show for a while he and britney were peddling a homemaker of her show.

11:47Ben Mandelker: He was trying to do everything. And you're right. Everyone's kind of doing something to some degree. Well, I don't know about Katie. Katie's doing something somewhere. No, wait. I'm sorry. No, she does have a sandwich shop. You cannot discount that that sandwich shop does very well. People are always in line for it. A sandwich shop, a podcast and a dream. I don't know how Pucker and Pout is doing these days, but the sandwich shop is alive and well. Maybe she can do maybe she can also resurrect Pandora's old thing, the divine addiction. Look, James May is having a moment. Look, I mean, Katie does have a podcast.

12:24Ben Mandelker: So Jax does have Jax's, but I feel like Jax's bar is just like a licensed whatever. But yeah, Jax just really isn't doing anything. He really, you know, actually, if you look at his peers who were similarly expunged post-2020, Stassi and Kristen. Kristen is fully back in the fold. Audiences love her. She's grown and she's put in the work. Stassi has also seemed to have put in the work as well and she's super popular. She's back. Everyone has grown. He has stayed stuck and he tried to pretend like he wasn't, but we were seeing like, no, he is done. And what about Danica? Where's Danica? That's a great question.

13:11Ben Mandelker: I asked that all the time where is danica who is she hitting right now um justice for her what a forgotten time that was what a time i know what a time okay well what a time this is because we have to start talking about this show uh the valley we're penultimate episode of the season before the reunions such a good season um it's this is like i feel like everyone's talking about the valley right i mean what's it like on your end at betches i mean i feel like you have more of an ear to the to like the vibe of what's going on in new york media circles etc i'm just gonna say that because you're wearing a matisse t-shirt you're like so sophisticated um but like uh the scuttle but like industry scuttle but i feel like everyone's talking about i feel like this is the biggest buzzworthy show in bravo right now well last year when it premiered it was such uh it was such a surprise the way that this show just worked from like really right from the jump because when it was first announced people were like deeply unenthused about the prospect of a show about parents with little kids and jacks and britney and christy crazy christin and oh we're gonna see what they're they're riding around on a little you know little tykes tricycle in the valley what is that yeah and so i think like this show it had a it had a tough sort of job to do.

14:38And it just worked so well. And this cast has so many layered dynamics to it. And I think almost similar to the way that Vanderpump Rules was able to do in the early seasons, it really felt watching the first season of The Valley, like this was a cast with history, and these people actually know each other. And there's lore to be discovered between all of them. and there's going to be side characters and stories to dig up and rumors and gossip and all of that. And I think season two has done a good job of sort of building on that momentum and bringing in some different side characters. I think Sheena being around on this show has worked better than I expected.

15:23I think Tom Schwartz also kind of makes sense in this world. Lala, I'm a little hesitant still, but we'll see. but I think overall it's just been it's been a really exciting show and it feels like they have potentially like the gas in the tank that this could go on for several seasons and stay pretty

15:42Ben Mandelker: interesting yeah they have a deep roster of people that are interesting that you want to watch and you're right they do have a lore and you also get the feeling like a lot of these people are going to probably stick with the show for a while because I kind of think it's like what they it's really all they have and so uh i think i think we we are set up for something good here and it's just it's so cool to see how the show has been really like like uh aside from love island which of course was like you know took over pop culture for six weeks i i feel like the valley has been the thing that people have been really really talking about like it's so cool to watch a like a variety round table uh and seth rogan is on there talking about how he loves he loves watching the valley i don't know why like we don't need validation from hollywood actors you know to to love what we love but it's just really cool when when our shows sort of you know permeate the intelligentsia and these like very highfalutin fyc uh panels that that they put on at this time of year yeah and i think also they they did a good job something that i've talked about with season one is they did a good job of Kristen and Jax and Brittany being central characters without it feeling like they were always the protagonists like they were always sort of the heroes of the show and I was worried I think like talking about Jax leaving it's funny because it was sort of my concern when it premiered that we were going to get like Jax's side of every story and it was be the jacks show and it really it really didn't end up like that and i think that that has that's part of what has worked so well that it really feels like we're sort of riding the roller coaster with all these people versus just kind of it doesn't feel like a vanity project for the vanderpump rules you know oh geez it feels like oh you guys are thrown right back in the mix with everybody else and you're still gonna have to you know scrape and claw for a good you know a good edit just like everybody else yeah it'll be interesting to see when Vanderpump Rules comes back how it can uh live on Bravo anymore now that I feel like we're kind of now focusing our attention on the valley and we also have southern hospitality for our young hospitality people and I I I'm very open to the new Vanderpump Rules I think it was the 100 % correct decision to reboot it, start fresh, get back into the restaurant.

18:07Ben Mandelker: But I think that people are going to have an uphill battle. I think people are not going to be open to it and they're going to just shit on it right away. Yeah, I agree. I'm optimistic. I try to be with everything on Bravo because let's face it, I'll watch it whether it's good or not. And I'll talk about it either way. But yeah. With some exceptions. The Valley being really good and Southern hospitality being really good gives Vanderpump Rules a really tall order. So we'll see. Yes. All right. Well, let's get into today's episode. We start with some different scenes around the Valley. We have Michelle painting Isabella's nails.

18:50Ben Mandelker: And she shows Isabella a photo of Jesse and Aaron kind of palling around together, which is surprising. and she's like, Isabella, did you see this picture of Daddy and Aaron? Daddy is silly and he's wearing a hat. Isn't that funny, Isabella? I can't like the ups and downs between Michelle and Jesse. It's like, but you don't think Daddy is silly. You think he's like a war criminal. Yes. She's putting on a brave face. You know, the ups and downs, I thought you were going to say of his hair dent that he always has but i guess you meant their emotional paths instead something about the phrase daddy and erin i just don't i don't enjoy it it doesn't feel good on the the mouth yeah and i don't i don't think that this like um jesse erin alliance is going to last much longer like this is this is very tenuous it's going to collapse in shambles very quickly absolutely not um we have zach let we go to Zach's apartment.

19:51Ben Mandelker: Zach's doing laundry with Bungie. Zach doesn't get much to do this episode, which is sad. Zach has had a really good breakout season where he felt he and Jasmine have felt much more central to the show than last year. Last year they definitely felt tacked on, you know? Yeah. And I think it benefits the show not to have every, everyone in like a married couple. And so I think also having the two divorces in the mix has really like shaken things up and it doesn't just feel like it's like everything's a a double or triple date, which I appreciate. But I'm so glad that Zach has someone around to do his laundry now.

20:27Ben Mandelker: Yes. So then we wind up, speaking of Jasmine, we now go to Sherman Oaks and she has a listing. I didn't realize that she was doing real estate. Was this ever announced? Or did she just break into a house? Doesn't Michelle do real estate too? Yeah, and Jesse. And Jesse. obviously they were you know they were realtors together but like i didn't know about jasmine or if i did know i had long since forgotten jasmine is she's an ep ending and she will sell this house today you know she's she's just gonna make it happen she will but also at the same time like jasmine you got to think about like your people okay we've all seen we've all seen dania and nia's apartment it is the most cramped space on bravo like every time we have to go to a scene in dania in his apartment i'm like oh no like breathe deeply it's just like it's it's like there's like no windows there's like no light in there and there's like toys everywhere there's like just clutter everywhere from all these children and i'm like and and when jasmine takes them to this place that we find out is actually like 800 square feet smaller than what they already live in jasmine why are you doing this to us yeah this is this is some like house hunters international type of thing where it's like they're like okay i want uh you know 10 000 square feet and ac in every room and blah blah blah and they're like okay so here's a shanty and yeah you know it was a lovely home it was a lovely home but this house felt like a production plant to me because there's there's no way it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

22:06hey guys it's page from giggly squad okay can we all agree that hosting is so much fun and i really do love it every weekend it's come over for snacks let's make dinner together and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter it seems that bugs show up before your friends do this is why i have to have my zivo flying insect trap you plug it in and you let it do all the work it's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had. And wow, did we have a lot. Like houseflies, fruit flies, gnats. And then with Zivo, bam. Next thing you know, the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors.

22:46The best part is the design is actually sleek and curved. So it hides the bugs it catches, keeping them out of sight. And when the cartridge is full, you just grab the no mess tab, Throw it in the trash, pop in a new cartridge, and then you're done. No mess, no stress. So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends, and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zivo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection. Plug in a Zivo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home. A beautifully designed Squarespace website is the difference between thinking about photography school and selling your portraits online.

23:27It's the difference between giving away those cookies you just made for free and running your cookie empire. A beautifully designed Squarespace website is the difference between having a movie-reviewing hobby and a movie-reviewing career. Squarespace, because no matter what you're into, a website makes it real. Use offer code THEDIFFERENCE for 30 % off every plan. Terms and conditions apply.

23:55Ben Mandelker: jasmine you jasmine you know what this family is about and on top of that i did spy that there was an ac wall unit and i'm like wow for 1.1 million dollars you're not getting central air i'm sorry that's this is like i would not even go any further as soon as i saw that wall unit i'd be like i'm not entering this house i'm i'm turning around i'm not wasting my time here the single sink in the master bathroom is tough. She's Miss USA. Come on. I know. She's Miss USA. Exactly. There was like so many I was actually just like offended. I was offended on behalf of Danny and Nia, you know, and like I thought Nia was trying to be optimistic.

24:31Ben Mandelker: She's like, well, if it's laid out nicely, it could be really functional. I'm like, no, I see that it's small. Like if something looks small on TV, it's going to be way smaller, you know, in person. There's no way that entire brood is going to work in there. Daniel, look, it's a Jack and Jill bathroom. i hate a jack and jill bathroom by the way i hate i i feel like i'm gonna get ambushed i i never have had a jack and jill bathroom in like a home but in in college i lived in a dorm that was like two single rooms with a bathroom in the middle and so you had to lock and unlock the other door every time and it was like it stressed me out to no end because i'd be like did I forget to lock it?

25:14What if he forgets to unlock it? What if I can't go to the bathroom? Do I have to pound on the door? Do I wait? Do I try to listen? It's so stressful. I don't want to be a... So then your child has to do that. They're going to walk in on their sibling. It just feels like, no, no, no, no.

25:28Ben Mandelker: I don't like more than one entrance to a bathroom. You would have two children on each... It would be Jack and Jack and Jill and Jill. It's too many Jacks and Jills. Too many possibilities. I just don't want any of it. and I rebuke it. By the way, I just want to say I'm going to hold space for your college experience because that sounded terrible, what you just described. It's okay. I don't want to act like I'm just glossing over that. That was terrible. It was a nice building, but the layout was not ideal. Yeah. It sounds like Jasmine Mesa sold it to the campus because it didn't make any sense for a college experience.

26:07It's perfect. Please get me the commission. Please.

26:12Ben Mandelker: Oh, Jasmine, come on. You could do better. Well, we do know that they have actually moved up to Santa Clarita, right? I think that was in the headlines that they did get a place up there. Yes. The only two places on earth, Sherman Oaks and Santa Clarita. I know. I'm like, you surely could have found a nice size home closer than Santa Clarita. Santa Clarita is far. I don't care. Every time he says a 20 minute drive north, I'm like, it is not a 20. It's 20 minutes at midnight. night it is not 20 minutes any other time it's like it's gonna be 45 minutes at least and i'm so mad about the santa clarita agenda that he has like you have to you should stay with your peers this cast between jesse spending a lot of time in newport and uh you know them moving to santa clarita they're gonna spend a lot of time in the car next season yeah well it's like the beverly hills cast i mean for a while there when you had like yolanda and malibu and erica and pasadena I mean, those distances are massive.

27:11Ben Mandelker: People really don't realize how far apart those people just think these are just all like areas. It's I can't give an equivalency, but like that's like a 90 minute drive to go from one end to the other. And you're going and you're going to meet for happy hour with your enemy and you're probably going to storm off before you even finish the first drink. Precisely. um so anyway they look at this place and it's like not it's this is terrible this is not the right choice and you know danny of course says like five different times four under four four under four so they finally do what they're there to really do which is to sit down and talk shit right so they um they go to sit down and they're they're talking about like you know Nia won't even say Janet's name anymore.

28:02Ben Mandelker: She calls her Voldemort of the Valley, which I thought was actually pretty good. That was a pretty good read. I feel like Nia has gotten more comfortable this season being a little messy, making a shady comment or two. She's not just the former Disneyland princess anymore. And I like when she kind of gets in the mud a little bit like that. yeah i famously on the first episode of the show i thought nia was gonna be a monster like the way that she was like a beauty queen but then she would call danny daniel at all times i was like oh just wait we're gonna pull we're gonna pull those layers off and she's gonna be the biggest monster and she is literally been like a delight ever since like i i eat my words every day but it is nice to see her getting a little bit of an edge have you noticed by the way that when kristin is talking to Nia, she also says Daniel.

28:55I have noticed. She's like, yeah, so with Daniel, you feel like it's...

29:01Ben Mandelker: I just want to honor her wishes. That's how she prefers to address him, so I shall address him that way as well. Daniel. I'm like, Kristen, don't do that because that's clearly one of those couple things where it's like a... It's some sort of signifier of an elevated relationship, right? like like we like he is my husband so he is not just dan he's daniel this is going to signify that i have a different relationship with him than the rest of you do right you guys are you know his friends who yell at him for drinking in the closet and i am his person and so yeah to me it's it's a more sacred bond and so i use the the christian name daniel it requires a formal declaration of his name like if it's working for them it does seem to be it seems to be um by the way what do you think about the whole danny thing you know as since you're here as a guest let's check in i know that we haven't this is a little bit old news on the show but i would love to hear your thoughts on danny um do you think danny has a problem i i've had complicated feelings about it all season because it seems like he has some stuff to work on it seems like he has some some adjustments to make some things to look into and i don't i don't have an issue with other people in the cast bringing that up because what are we here to do if not you know throw throw mud at each other by the time we were in hawaii it felt a little bit like beating a dead horse and a little bit like okay we're not actually having a productive conversation about this so maybe maybe with respect to the Jasmine situation.

30:49Let's table this and maybe speak about it in a more serious manner. And it feels like Janet has been kind of trying to use that to score points for herself a little bit, which I don't love. But at the end of the day, I mean, yeah, it definitely seems like there's a little bit of a concerning pattern of behavior with him.

31:10Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I don't know, nor could I diagnose whether or not he's an alcoholic but it sounds like he's a bad drunk at the very least and you can be a bad drunk without being an alcoholic and I think he needs to be a better drunk. He's like too old to be that sloppy. It's like Dorinda Medley in a very different font where it's like In a different font. Because every season of Roni for a while it was like Dorinda's an alcoholic and it's like Is she? I don't know. Does it seem like she maybe should drink less sometimes? Yeah. Not everything has to be alcoholism. Unless someone decides, okay, this is not right for me.

31:55Ben Mandelker: But some people, like with Danny, I've had some friends who when they get drunk, they just are the worst. And I kind of stopped being friends with them because they're just annoying. And I don't think they're alcoholics. It's just like they let out all their bullshit. And you're just like, I don't want to deal with this. And I kind of feel like Danny is that way. Once you see him start drinking, you're like, oh, gosh, I don't want to have to co-sign to this misery right now. Right. You're like, okay, this dinner is going to be less fun in 20 minutes because Danny just took three shots. Yes, exactly.

32:28Ben Mandelker: It's like having to pretend like you're amused when he's taking three shots to catch up. And you're like, but we're not in college anymore. You don't have to do that. just drink at your own pace it's okay really nobody here is is sloshed right now everybody has just like been enjoying a drink yes exactly um anyway so now we go over to sheena's house uh because i think we're gonna be caught i remember correctly we're gonna be cutting back and forth and uh we see janet speaking of janet she's pushing a stroller up to sheena's house and there was something about the way that janet was pushing that stroller i was like there's no baby in there that's like a stuffed animal it was like the stroller was like bouncing all over the place in a certain way i was like has she ever used this stroller before i don't know what's happening it's like when you watch baby it's like when you watch you know in a theater or something and it's like every prop is like too light like the backpack doesn't have anything in it the pitcher has no water it's you can tell there's a toy stroller so she has uh she's met up with Michelle and Sheena and like, you know, it's baby time and everything.

33:32Ben Mandelker: And so Janet's saying like, well, the trip ended with Kristen saying that she was going to beat my ass. So she brought Danny and Nia's names up and said something about how Jason and I were attacking Danny. And yes, you know, I've talked about things that he's done, but like, you know, I'm not making up false rumors about him. I'm like, you aren't, but like you like you just made up with him and then you then blurt out that he committed sexual assault Janet she like really really is deliberately missing the point here like she's she really is trying to have her cake and eat it too and it's like I on a very specific level I get where you're coming from but like don't pretend that you don't see the issue basically yeah why does Janet for some reason remind me of Amy Klobuchar isn't that weird

34:27when will she uh throw a stapler at someone's head i feel like i could imagine janet eating salad with a comb you know wow that is uh that is evocative it's not not where my mind would have gone but i i respect the journey that just popped into my head and i felt like i needed to

34:45Ben Mandelker: share that with i needed i needed to put that out there and i'm gonna have to see if people co-sign I just can see her that way I hope she does a Voldemort Halloween costume like own it own the comparison I think that would be that's what I want to see from her next yes I would like that so so then yeah so Jan's basically complaining about Kristen coming at her and she's like well that's what Kristen does she latches on you know to like the popular girl and she like doesn't care who she has to step on to get there which is funny because it's like Sheena who like has spent her entire career trying going to be in with the popular girls sheena sheena going back to like season one of vander pump rules when she's on dish duty or whatever well you know the plastics of sir are are treating her like shit it's like it is funny that sheena is once again in the position on this show of sort of like needing to latch on to people to to get screen time and uh you know maybe it's a little pot and kettle situation there i love that they're all angry at sheena for bringing janet into the back.

35:46Ben Mandelker: It's like, if it weren't for Sheena, we wouldn't have even had Janet. She was a fan. Sheena met Janet, which I love. I love that this is like Sheena's contribution to the Valley. Yeah, she's doing her best. She's doing her best. Also, she's wearing this big oversized t-shirt that says Valley Brat. And I'm just like, so you're wearing, it's not merch for the show, but it feels like it is adjacent to the show that you are trying to weasel your way into it. I'm like, Sheena, wear a plain black t-shirt. Anything else. We know what you're up to, Sheena. Okay. She's like, yeah, I'm so Valley. Do you remember Sheena in the Marina?

36:24She's lived through so many different eras.

36:26Ben Mandelker: I know. She really tried to make Marina Del Rey a thing, but it just didn't quite work out. It was. When Stassi did that diagram on Vanderpump Rules, that was no joke. I don't know if you're familiar with LA geography, Dylan, But like, Stassi laid it out plain and clear and there was no lies detected there. It was like, going to Marina del Rey is like, you have to suit up. You have to prepare yourself. Well, it's just, I mean, the nice thing about the Valley or, you know, Sir back in the day when they all lived in WeHo basically is like, it does feel like that sort of, we're just hanging out in the neighborhood aspect.

37:03And something shifts a little bit when you can sense that everyone's been in the car for an hour to get there.

37:10Ben Mandelker: yeah that's a very good point as opposed to just like coming by with your stroller into she knows new house that looks like everyone else's house so um they really i like it really looks exactly like katie and toms and tom and ariana modern modern farmhouse or farmhouse doorway you walk through the front door to the right is some sort of like living ish living area to the left is maybe a formal dining room you walk through staircase on the right then like den area with your, what's it called? The love sack or whatever. The love sack sofa that they're talking about. Yeah. The cloud couch. Kitchen here with the island.

37:47Ben Mandelker: They have the exact same layout. I'm not mad at it, though, by the way. It's a nice layout. I actually like it. You're like$1.1 million. That's probably why. I mean, like, honestly, I mean, you know, Jasmine, you got to sell like the Valley Special. Do the shiplap modern farmhouse. Not this tiny little modified RV without wheels. Speaking of which, so Janet's basically complaining that she doesn't even know where to go. She goes, with Nia and Daniel, she does call him Daniel, by the way. This is how you know this is serious because everyone's calling him Daniel now. But she's like, I just don't know where to go.

38:30Ben Mandelker: It sucks because all this stuff happened. and if Daniel is still drinking, I don't know if I necessarily want to be super close to him. And so she's saying that she hasn't talked to them at all. So now we go back over to Jasmine's listing and Nia's like, well, you know, we haven't been feeling good vibes from the one who shall not be named, but like, you know, they all bought Jason so nice. And they all start talking about how like, oh, Jason, like, he's like poor Jason because we all like Jason, but he gets sucked into this. It's too bad. He's losing friends. Where do you stand on Jason? do i stand anywhere on jason i just don't like i to me he's such a nothing he doesn't bring a lot to the table i mean he's a nice guy i'm i'm sure or you know he seems like he's a little bit too much of a jack's apologist though to be as nice as he seems right that's yeah it's tough he's a little too like i don't have strong feelings about him but i he does seem a little too into the guy's chat like it's just a little less of that a little you know i don't i don't love his energy yeah i feel like he's bros before a hose at the worst time and then he's sometimes oddly hose before bros at the worst time yeah he doesn't he's i don't think i like agree with the way he kind of like moves through situations but at the same time i'm like there's at least three worse men on this show so that's that's what i feel like i feel like he's probably the best of the men i mean i know people really don't like him because he's with jenny and he is his worst his worst thing i think is he is a jack's apologist and uh we have a call-in show on mondays uh every other monday crappy hour everyone should watch it one of our listeners um called in and made a really good point which is that like what jack's did is technically domestic violence or or it would appear to be.

40:29Ben Mandelker: Even if he didn't hurt Brittany, the act of throwing the tables and everything could be considered domestic violence. And Janet is so quick to call what Danny did sexual assault and say, well, that's just legally what it's called. And Jason backs her up. And yet we don't see that same energy from those two going towards Jax, especially from Jason, the lawyer. yeah the legal the legal clarification from janet was so stupid to me because first of all we're not we're not in a courtroom you don't have a lawyer you don't have anything and also it's like you're the wife of a lawyer so it's like okay if i'm married to a doctor i like have to use the like scientific medical term for everything or else i'm like betraying my you know spouses profession it's like who that's not how the world works yeah no it's it's it's it's painful but that being said with all that being said i do think jason is the best of the guys um which is shocking because some people would say maybe danny but i do think that danny is a really bad drunk and i think that jason he seems actually like a very smart guy and he's trying i feel like he tries to be like level-headed and rational but i think that he has unfortunately in this second season he's definitely missed the mark several times and so he's really like going downhill uh in terms of like esteem

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43:12Yeah, he's losing out on the ability to use the excuse of like, oh i'm just getting dragged into this because of my wife and um i don't know it is tough to think about though like imagine getting cast on a show like this as a couple and then your wife is like america's number one villain and you're like i guess i'll go get a tattoo on my ring finger

43:35Ben Mandelker: this is yeah to lock that in actually by the way i want to say that i think uh zach and luke are superior men to Jason. Sure, yes. I was just thinking in terms of the guys and the guys chat. I was thinking of the Jesse, Jesse, Jax, Danny, and Jason. That's what I was thinking of. Guys chat, no homo. Definitely no Zach in there. Yeah, but in terms of the actual males beyond that, I think is probably zach is like number one followed by luke like that's like like that feels right that feels because um luke has gotten rid of a lot of the red flags from last season it seems like like he's not talking about colorado anymore thank god yeah and he seems to be more accepted by the cast too by the way last season they seemed to barely even want to like be around him and now they like all seem to really revere him yeah i wonder what happened we gotta yeah yeah what did happen was there was there hazing was it hazing i think they realized that luke just didn't really care and i think that they're like oh shit okay cool maybe he's a cool guy i don't know it's like oh you're not gonna move back to colorado in two weeks i guess we'll hang out with you oh you fixed our broken down sprinter van on the side of the road so that's pretty cool okay we'll let you into our group you gotta you gotta have one handy guy in the guy's chat and i don't think it's jesse it's definitely not jesse speaking of luke we go to christina luke's house and um christina and luke are having like uh tv dinners on their i guess what we find out is their love sack couch their cloud couch whatever the very expensive couch right it's a very very very expensive couch according to people i'm just based i didn't actually do any research on the couch i just got some dms that were like that couch is really expensive but then i always see so So there's the cloud couch.

45:34And then I'll see on TikTok that there's like, oh, this cloud couch dupe. Like you can get some site has the same looking couch for less. So I do wonder if Kristen and Luke have the dupe. But either way, it looked a nice setup.

45:48Ben Mandelker: Can I say something? I've never even heard of this sofa until this show started to air. And like there was like, because Brittany has what she's like, look at my cloud. Look at my love sack. And then that's when I got DMs like, wow, that love sack is worth a lot. blah, blah, blah. And I've never heard of this thing. And then they are talking about it now today on the show, like, Oh, you got one too. And now you're talking about, you've seen dupes of them. I'm like, am I out of the, the, the loop on the, on this? I did. And how much do these costs? I just bought a couch. And so I have been, you know, really, um, my algorithm has been serving me a lot of couches, both in and out of my price range.

46:26So,

46:28Ben Mandelker: I once went to when we were getting a sofa here I went to Restoration Hardware thinking for some reason that was a good idea and I remember sitting down on their stupid sofa which was like three inches off the ground so it was already low and stupid and then it was just like a normal it wasn't even a sexual or anything and I think they said it was like$28 ,000 and I could I thought he was joking I literally was like, I'm sorry, did you say 2 ,800? And he's like, no, 28 ,000. And I'm like, goodbye. I am out of here. Yeah. Congrats to Kristen on the couch, though. Happy for her. That being said, we want to congratulate Kristen and Luke on their sofa that they have chosen now to sit and eat food on with dogs.

47:22Ben Mandelker: so they're sitting there and you know Jill is begging for food and apparently Jill is begging because Kristen taught her dog how to beg and then that dog taught Jill how to beg and now Luke is really unhappy about it it's a sad state of affairs I'm just learning now there's a dog named Jill her dog is named Jill Luke's dog is named Jill which I think is hilarious sure i i agree no i i agree i had this reaction last season i'm picturing the dog with jill zarin's voice hi hi so you got uh you got any diet coke i make the best diet coke i brought a suitcase of diet coke to europe because they don't have it there i think you saw below deck last year when she was on it she's also she's uh ali has made a lot of tiktoks about the the suitcase of Diet Coke.

48:20Ben Mandelker: Oh, okay. I didn't realize that. Yeah, because Joel Zarin was on Below Deck and she was obsessed with Diet Coke. And then she was like, okay, I'm going to teach you how to make Diet Coke good. Okay, this is how you do it. She acted like there was a recipe to it. She's like, okay, put some ice in the glass. You put the Diet Coke on top of it and you got good Diet Coke. I hope she's well.

48:44Ben Mandelker: I hope she, too, gets a love sack sofa soon. God bless. god bless she's probably got three of them down in boca she's and i repulsed them with zaron fabrics gary i want to go i want to go to zaron fabrics because guess what i learned how to sew over the past like 18 months and now i care about fabrics so i want to see your fabrics fabrics it's um it's there it's a big store right it's a big yeah it's like a big you know like wholesale fabric store it's very like you know like mood fabrics on project run way back in the day same kind of vibe but i don't think i mean she's not like involved in zarin fabrics anymore but you know it's the name is the name well maybe her gay husband is still working there since we haven't seen him in you know 12 years um so kristen and and luke are attending to jill the dog the dog named jill and um she is feeling she's feeling a little blue because they had another fertility um you know a meeting with a doctor and you know his sperm are good so it really just comes down to her body and she's you know you feel bad watching her because she's really coming down so hard on herself but i think this is actually like one of the things that has been really like redeeming for her because it's like a very real thing she's going through and And she's very relatable.

50:10Ben Mandelker: And there's also the happy ending of we all know now that she had a baby. And so, like, we know she's going through this pain, but we know that it's going to, like, turn around for her. So, yeah, she's going through it at this moment. Yeah, I'm glad that we've gotten to watch this season knowing the ending. Because it's the one spoiler where I'm like, okay, I actually am. This would be a lot more depressing if I had to assume that she was still kind of struggling with it. but yeah, I'm very happy for her. Yeah. It's wild to think that she's 45, by the way. I have not really accepted that. Isn't she 45?

50:46Ben Mandelker: Or did I just age her? She's in her 40s. I'm going to look her up. Maybe she's 42. Maybe it's Jax who's 45. Jax is 45. You're 45. Yeah, that's Jax. Kristen is 42. I apologize, Kristen. I did not mean to add three years. You're 45. You're 45, Jax. 35. It's wild. It's wild that they're all in their 40s. It's like people in the real world who are now in their 60s. I'm assuming some of them are in their 60s by now. It's just like... The world is a strange and scary place. Someone should shelter Jill. Just feed Jill. Give her all the food she wants because the world is scary enough as it is. Give her some of that chicken.

51:29Ben Mandelker: So they basically are talking about it and then speaking of Jack's, ding dong here he comes jacks walks in um you know jacks let's talk about why does jacks have such rosy cheeks all the time where did this come from yeah i don't know i mean i don't know and it's like shiny pink and like it's shiny and pink that's that's it's it's it's disarming Is there like a steroid side effect or anything? I don't know. Because Jax has been through a lot of phases. And there's definitely, I mean, there's been like coked up Jax and roided out Jax. And sometimes he looks good and healthy. And I don't know exactly what phase he's in right now.

52:22But like, that's got to just play havoc on your skin.

52:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah, maybe that's what it is. Maybe he like developed rosacea or something like that. Not to rosacea shame. I'm just curious as to why he has such rosy hues on his cheekbones. It just doesn't make any sense to me. So he comes in with a giant orchid that he gives to Christine. And she's like, yeah, I can't keep an orchid alive for the life of me. I'm like, okay, well, he's like, okay, next time I'll get you a pie, I guess. I don't know. So he's giving. It's funny to be like, I've never kept an orchid alive. It's like, how many times have you tried? I can imagine her. She probably had like a solid year where every week she bought an orchid.

52:59Ben Mandelker: She's like, okay, this one's going to work. It's going to happen this time. They're just so beautiful. And they represent light and love. I have heard that orchids, just because they lose their flower doesn't mean that they're dead. It's just that the flower is over. She's probably, she's throwing away a live plant every week. She's being like, the fucking flower fell off. Now this is dead. the orchid's like but i'm just i just took my makeup off that's all i killed it again i would never that being said i would probably throw out the orchid as well and i would never that's why i don't i don't get orchids because they are too much they're just get something solid get a get a fiddle fern get a tulip get a fucking tulip okay um get something that's gonna be reliable he got a lilac so uh he comes over and jacks is doing his standard um you know woe is me pitch to everyone trying to control the narrative and he's like you know pretty now we're just like talking for like five minutes like because we're allowed to talk he's like by the way sorry i almost uh sorry i almost ruined your engagement oh god i don't know what i was thinking so stupid of me that's his like standard thing that he does when he's like messed up and he's trying to be like good little boy you know and then he's like and then he's like ah and then you know i i and then i i said it was britney i threw her under the bridge like oh man i don't know why i even did that either it's chill calm down shut up jill's like this idiot i get yelled at for begging and this guy's over here and they're fine with him so Jax is like yeah he's like yeah Kristen's like I think you mean under a bus not under the bridge he's like well whatever like I threw her under something you know um and she's like you know you just have to practice patience because look I'm not a patient human being and everyone knows that just be patient he's like oh man but like it's really tough like being away from my son hello there this is a two-part recap okay this is the end of part one so thank you so much for listening to this uh just come back a little later for part two watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king it's always a party on alison block our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious It's Amanda Foster She can run my country It's Angie McGovern It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto Put your hands together for Carly Clapp Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela Etchles We never miss her call, it's Diane Call Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no tricklers Hava Nagila Weber You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less namey She's our kind of mess.

56:02It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotz.

56:06Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flandersen, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes, we canna, it's Sadana.

56:46Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tibby. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran.

57:25Ben Mandelker: We got our wish. It's Jen Plish She's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch Knock knock Knocking on Katie Manok's door My favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo We love him madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley In the study With a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die For Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy Always killing it It's Lola Alkalani The incredible Edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes It's Melissa St. Rose There's a chance With meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Tell of Sun Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tam La Plaine It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar We love you guys This episode is sponsored by Nature Raised Farms There are so many complicated things on Bravo Like opening the front door on Summer House.

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