#2956 Below Deck S12E10: Stillie the Boulder Holder

0:00Ben Mandelker: This message is brought to you by Coligard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Coligard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Coligard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at coligard.com slash podcast.

0:32Ben Mandelker: Have you ever been more frustrated than when you go to the doctor and you feel like something is wrong and they're like, you're fine. It gets so frustrating sometimes. And that's why I'm so fascinated by what superpower is doing.

0:43Ronnie Karam: It's one simple blood draw that gives you information on over a hundred of your blood biomarkers, your annual physical checks, 10 to 15, you know, just for comparison, this testing gives you a much deeper understanding of your body across 17 core systems, including your heart, metabolism, thyroid, inflammation, and even environmental toxins.

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1:14Ronnie Karam: Superpower makes health easy. They send a licensed professional to your home, or you can visit a nearby lab.

1:19Ben Mandelker: Take control of your health with Superpower. For a limited time, our listeners get$20 off to unlock their new health intelligence. Head over to superpower.com and use code CRAPPINS for$20 off your$199 superpower membership. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about Superpower. So tell them, watch what CRAPPINS sends you to support the show.

1:56Ben Mandelker: Watch with Crappins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins?

2:03Ronnie Karam: Well, hello, you little darlings. Welcome to Watch with Crappins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. I'm still sty. I'm still burdened with my sin sty. So I've got that today. So I've got glasses on. But otherwise, good. We just did Jeff Lewis over on SiriusXM. That was a rollicking good time.

2:24Ben Mandelker: It was.

2:25Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so just got home from that. And what else? You know what? Getting ready to do a little below deck. We had an Amazon Live last night, which was super fun. Our next one is going to be Monday, August. What did I say yesterday? What's 14? I will tell you, 18. So it'll be Monday, August 18th at 4 p.m. over on Amazon Live. You can always get the links day of on our Instagram. So that was great. Also, next week will be crappy hour. This coming Monday will be crappy hour. So that's super fun. If you want these recaps on videos instead of just audio, get them. Okay. Go over to Patreon. Crappens. Patreon is where you get Crappens On Demand episodes and our bonus episodes.

3:07Ronnie Karam: Also, this is Dwell Hello Week over on Wondery Plus. So if you like House Hunters recaps, we've got a killer one coming for you about a cougar in Sacramento moving in with a very young man. A very young, poorly coiffed male.

3:24Ben Mandelker: a very young but extremely articulate and precocious yeah 22 year old with a lot of insights and definitely understands how to do things like i don't know opening up medicine cabinets

3:38Ronnie Karam: guys i don't know a lot but i know this that guy's going places and we're going to talk about it on this mma fighter we're going to talk about it on this week's dwell hello all right let's get into her how'd you feel about below dick ben i felt good about it it was you know another episode how did you feel i was sad they got rid of drunk kelly we needed kelly for this episode although i know he was replaced in this episode by her insane friend not helen barbara was it what was her what was helen helen it was helen the primary so it was one who was like all boobalicious

4:15Ben Mandelker: yeah what it's what we do that's what we do okay i gotta get on my boobs gotta get my boobs out i gotta get my boobs out you know um i don't remember there was another lady there who i loved and she was the one who's like my daughter knocked my louis vuitton into the into the toilet and i said you know what when i die you're waiting for a bag that's the one you're gonna get i loved her you're gonna get the piss bag because you knocked it over you gotta pay attention when you're around

4:44Ronnie Karam: my expensive bags knocked it into the toilet i think i get them confused do they look exactly

4:49Ben Mandelker: the same they do they do they both have like um black long black hair they both they went in hard for the kardashian look a few years ago and they're still in it and um one has bigger lips than the other but one has bigger boobs than the other so one's boobs one's lips okay well you know

5:08Ronnie Karam: god bless him god bless him so here we go um carrie is uh kicking uh kelly off the drunk kelly so he's like someone needs to go with kelly take her ashore and i was like i'll go with her as long as i can come back all i ask is that i get to come back on the ship please let me come back on the ship

5:30Ben Mandelker: all right and kelly's like where's my bag you democrats take my bag again they're like you is the same thing. Liberals taking bags. That's what they do all the time.

5:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Democrat. What are you doing with my bag? Kamala Kamala Charis probably took my bag somewhere. I'm not standing for this. All right, Kelly.

5:51Ben Mandelker: I'm going to go with you, Kelly. It's on your shoulder. The bag's on your shoulder, Kelly. I'm going to go with you.

5:59Ronnie Karam: Kelly's walking out in her bikini. It's not dripping out of her face. Barbara's like, oh my God, she's going without trousers. I think She needs a short. She needs a short. Please, somebody help her. And sure enough, Kelly splats right into the boat, right on her hoo-ha bone.

6:16Ben Mandelker: Yeah, and she keeps saying, I just want to go on the banana boat. I mean, that's all I want to do. I mean, so like, what, this is America. We're allowed to go on a banana boat if we want to go on a banana boat. He's a pussy. He's a pussy. He's a pussy.

6:32Ronnie Karam: This is America. I can't go on a banana boat. has become a banana republic a banana republic pussy you're a pussy captain so she's screaming pussy at the captain from the little boat and then even when they get her ashore they show her on the shore she's like pussy the guy's a goddamn pussy is what he is

6:53Ben Mandelker: do we ever find out was there any articles come out saying what happened to Kelly after this incident did she get arrested in St. Martin

7:02Ronnie Karam: She's in some French prison making cheese.

7:06Ben Mandelker: Yeah, that's what they do there, you know. That's where 95 % of brie actually comes from French prisoners. It's their license plate.

7:14Ronnie Karam: They make cheese license plates.

7:16Ben Mandelker: Yeah, literally, like if you go to France, they don't have license plates. They just have wheels of brie with numbers scratched into them. Maintain a very cold temperature in that country.

7:28Ronnie Karam: So Carrie's like, all right, she's going to shore and she'll be fine. So we're going to pick up the primary tomorrow. Thank you for everyone's help. Thank you. Thank you for all the hiding you did and not dealing with Kelly. I appreciate it. Thank you for no one helping me keep the door closed. I did. I helped. All right. You did. Thank you. You helped me imprison a Republican. Thank you. Thank you for your service.

7:53Ben Mandelker: You know, it went from zero to 1 ,000 in a moment. I mean, well, maybe several moments. You know, let me rephrase that. It went from zero to a thousand after the 15th drink that we served her. And I've never seen someone. All right. All right, Kelly. You're off the boat. You can go to jail. You can go to two jails, a Dutch jail and a French jail. Because you can see Matt.

8:13Ronnie Karam: Fuck you, cheese. Fuck you, Will and cheese.

8:18Ben Mandelker: We Republican cheese. All right. She got more and more aggressive. She was as scary as that bridge that we're about to crash into 15 more times this season.

8:29Ronnie Karam: Fuck you. Captain! You still hear her. She's now on the dock lugging her luggage, screaming, Fuck you, Captain, you pussy! So he's like, wait, put everyone's safety at risk. It had to be John. And that's me. Life sometimes is not an adventure! So he got rid of her and then we go to Brian. He's like, I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that crap, Captain. That is some bullshit. That girl is trash. Okay.

9:03Ben Mandelker: Well, you know, it's all in a day's work, mate. No big deal over here.

9:07Ronnie Karam: Just a big, someone put a big pause on fun. That's what happened. Big pause on fun night. Thanks a lot, Kelly. You trashy slut.

9:17Ben Mandelker: Well, don't you worry because you've got the rest of your charter to enjoy yourself. So get to it.

9:23Ronnie Karam: And then rainbow, you know, a lot of people stick up for rainbow in the comments. I don't think rainbow is an evil person, but I do see why so many people get annoyed with rainbow because she just has this way of talking to people so she goes up to barbara who's working you know she's like barbara are you good with staying on service are you good with that it's just such an intense the faking niceness that just rubs people the wrong way you know me yeah it rose me the wrong way barbara's like yes i'm fine please please don't talk to me while i roll towel this towel i'm rolling has more personality than you please please barbara's

9:58Ben Mandelker: like i don't know if you saw but this is my sad episode so i should not be talking to many people okay so frank be frank is the i think he's helen's husband and he's missing some jewelry and barbara's like oh really it was it was with you the big black one and fraser's like frankie i found something for you and um they i guess they find um this necklace it was just it was in his shirt the whole time he was wearing it fraser just like reaches down he's like either this is

10:27Ronnie Karam: an enormous hard nipple or it's your jewelry. He's like, you got it, kid. You got it. This kid's got it. Whoop-ha. Whoop-ha. He keeps doing that. He's doing like a little whoopee. Yeah, poochie. Ha ha.

10:41Ben Mandelker: To be honest, at this stage, my excitement for this charter has completely gone out the window. I'm going to start calling it my boyfriend. We're going to try and put everything we've just gone through behind us and bring the fun and joy back to this trip because when people see me, Fraser, they think fun and joy. He's the man who will bring it. So there might be a slight amount of hope that this will increase our tip. The hope is the very, very small, much like the love I had for my boyfriend.

11:11Ronnie Karam: So now Kyle is talking about how he's usually the drunk one. He's like, is that what I look like? Fuck. Is that what I look like when I'm all drunk? Jesus. That's the kind of tantrum I have. and Ali Dakan gets my girl fucking mate gets my girl you know just all the tantrums and Jess who stole his girl and Damo who stole his girl try to comfort him but it's not really working

11:35Ben Mandelker: yeah I'm gonna need Kyle to like wrap up his moping because I really I don't know if I have the bandwidth to take on someone feeling so sad about a hookup like you guys weren't even together you guys had like you made out in a hot tub like let's not act like this is a 10-year romance that came to a conclusion this is not kramer versus kramer this is just it's just so lame so i just don't want to see any more of it also it's it's kyle

12:06Ronnie Karam: who has no standards so kyle will like fuck a doorknob you know he doesn't care yeah it's like he will fuck a you know squirrel on this like he doesn't care he's just one of those he's probably took a goat to prom you know he's just one of those guys as we learn later in the episode he will fuck anything he doesn't have any standards so i don't know i can't really listen to him like cry like it's the great love of his life you know you could literally just walk down the street and pick anyone and it would be fine for you so just be quiet it's like me missing a meal you know i've i have so many meals like it's okay it's okay no one wants to hear me complain about missing one tuna sandwich.

12:44Ben Mandelker: There are other fish in the sea and we all know Kyle will actually make out with the fish. So like, let's just, let's just like nip this in the bud. Okay. Also maybe like, I don't know, maybe Kyle could like be less of like a dirt bag. Like we all like Kyle, but he's also like, are people genuinely excited to bring Kyle around to be like, Hey, look at this guy I'm dating. It's this guy. And it winds up being Kyle. Like maybe there's a reason why people maybe visit with the lips and then move on because it's... Oh, do they have sex? They had sex, didn't they?

13:18Ronnie Karam: They had sex with Gutsburg. They just cuddled and kissed. Or when did they have sex? No, I think you're right. Maybe they did have sex. Either way. It's just kind of like... I'm not keeping count.

13:29Ben Mandelker: I just feel like, Kyle, there's a certain amount of, like, you know, why don't you be more of an aspirational hookup for someone rather than the rather than the Roy Rogers, they visit on the way to another city. Road trip.

13:45Ronnie Karam: The Roy Rogers.

13:48Ben Mandelker: It's a mixed metaphor. Okay, I'm mixing a lot of metaphors here, but I think we all get what I'm trying to say. Okay.

13:56Ronnie Karam: Okay, well. Yeah, that guy is, I don't feel bad for him either, but I do. I mean, I do kind of like him, but shut up.

14:03Ben Mandelker: I like him, but I'm, yeah, I like him, but shut up. It's over. We don't want to deal with it anymore on this show.

14:08Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so Celine is like, oh, maybe I can take baby Blake. You know, I never take baby Blake here. Maybe I can take baby Blake here. She's just like kind of looking out over the swim platform and she's waving at Jess. And Jess is like, um, not Jess, Rainbow's like, oh, hi, babe. When you're done out here, do you mind just checking day heads and then helping Barbara with service? She goes, okay, I do their heads now, which becomes a huge problem for Rainbow later.

14:39Ben Mandelker: Absolutely. So then the guests are talking and, you know, they're talking to Barbara at the bar and they're just like talking about just, you know, Kelly being a total disaster and everything. And so Brian is like, well, that's Frankie's girl. That's not my girl. And Frank is like, I mean, do you what you think I did girls like that? And he's like, well, absolutely not. I mean years ago, I mean I'm not with her anymore. It's like his brands like nah, dude. I don't date trainwrecks. Sorry

15:10Ronnie Karam: You think I'd date girls like that have you seen Helen? She's the epitome of class look at her out there

15:19Ben Mandelker: So people are getting ready for dinner being out Wayne Newton songs on the on the deck then um you know when you go to saint martin you go there for one thing which is to have a cowboy party i mean when you think of the caribbean what do you think about horses lassos cowboys

15:42Ronnie Karam: mob mob wives ladies in you know frills uh so fraser is uh announcing to everybody that they've all got cowboy outfits. And he's like, oh, God, this is a crop top. What man is going to put on the crop top? So, Celine, they're going over picnics and stuff. No, they're going over the outfits. And Celine's like, well, look, this dress looks like picnic table. I'm not picnic table. Why look like picnic table, you know?

16:13Ben Mandelker: And, you know, Demo actually is embracing the crop top life, et cetera. And then Hugo's putting on whatever. They're just putting on these costumes and making jokes. And then Fraser's like, tonight's theme is cowboy night. I went to a rodeo once. It was basically cows, fat men, and barbecues. And that's when I learned how to crack a whip. So, yeah. I don't know. Fraser's sort of annoying me. He's just not fun.

16:41Ronnie Karam: He's not funny. His interviews are so funny. And he's just trying too hard. And he's like a robot. I need a recast.

16:48Ben Mandelker: I agree I love that there is a gay man as a chief stew but I feel like his little interview quips feel either rehearsed or scripted and the way he sort of leans in when he says them I don't know they're giving me groan more than anything else I just want him to be better

17:08Ronnie Karam: and also that's really not what a rodeo is sir so be quiet don't make me stand up for rodeos that's how lame you are You're making me stand up for rodeos right now. Okay. Rodeos are more than cows and fat people and barbecue. So Celine is like, there's also cow poop smell. There's clowns. There's clowns.

17:30Ben Mandelker: Okay.

17:33Ronnie Karam: So Fraser is, you know, being hilarious. And Celine is like, oh, no, this is not cowboy. I look like prostitute cowboy. And he's like, your tits, your tits are unprofessional. Look at those things. And she's like, I'm the cow who give milk to the cowboy.

17:50Ben Mandelker: So Damo says, there's only three things that are important to me. And that's my, oh, he goes, there's only three things that are important to me. And that's my God, my truck, and my lady in that order. He does it in a, in like a Southern accent, which is so everyone that's, congratulations. That's what we are exporting to the world. This is, he's like, I'm going to say something that's typically American. I was like, that's, I guess us.

18:12Ronnie Karam: God guns my baby. So Jess is trying to be nice to Barbara, but Barbara's just ignoring her. And she's like, Barbara and I, you know, we have my personal stuff here, but, you know, you don't need to wash it, Barbara. So I'll just take it out of my cabin. If you don't want to wash it, you don't have to. And Barbara's like, ignore, ignore. Talk to the curly hair. Talk to the curly hair. I have nothing to say to you.

18:34Ben Mandelker: The bangs are closed. So Jess is like, you can hear a fucking feather drop right now. It's so awkward between Barbara and I. and Barbara's like, it's not nice, you know? Like, we don't joke with feelings. Like, we don't joke with people, period. Don't involve people in your shit. And Jess is like, I don't know. It's so weird. I come from a family. Oh, wait, hold on. Instagram wall. I come from a family that, like, we don't give a shit. We don't speak about our feelings. But we do speak. And you know what I mean? Like, even if we're upset with one another, we just kind of get on with it. I'm like, but you're not making out with your family.

19:10Ben Mandelker: You're not fucking your family. At least I don't think. You never know.

19:15Ronnie Karam: So Barbara's over it. She's like, whatever, I'm done with her. So then Anthony's making dinner, which really isn't that important to say, except, guys, I really love slow motion onions being chopped. It's just so sexy.

19:30Ben Mandelker: The way they decide to use a depth of field on those close-ups of him chopping really elevates the whole show.

19:36Ronnie Karam: And they really add in that sound effect of the onion being chopped slowly. It's like...

19:43Ben Mandelker: you know what's actually funny is that like whenever whenever they do that whenever they do this like slow motion onion being chopped it just kind of looks like the promo that plays on like a tv screen in a hotel room when you check in they're like and downstairs eat at del frisco monaco our award-winning steakhouse they always show like a slow motion chef and then like a fire raging. That's just what they're doing on this show.

20:10Ronnie Karam: The best chicken nugget in a best western this side of the Mississippi.

20:16Ben Mandelker: And then it cuts to some ladies with martinis. And then if you want an adventurous night out, go to Blonnie's. Our martini bar located on our rooftop, which has easily exterminated all the pigeons.

20:30Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's all classy. And then you go down to the pool and it's like, what do you mean you need a bathroom? Just piss in the pool, Donnie just passed in the pool wait a minute where's the money's steakhouse yeah yeah in their diapers on a pool chair unfortunately our kitchen is closed but it's 830 yeah yeah it's closed oh yeah that rooftop bar we've been remodeling that for about a year oh you're staying on the 10th floor yeah you'll be hearing that.

21:03Ben Mandelker: Unfortunately, we discovered a whole bunch of raw asbestos really all over that rooftop. So we're just going to leave this card on the door.

21:14Ronnie Karam: If you don't want us to clean your room, because you know, we were trying to conserve water. Oh, really? Really? Change my fucking seats. How about that? Fucking best. What is this? The best Western or the mediocre Western?

21:28Ben Mandelker: Well, unfortunately, our best Western sign did burn down. So we do apologize for the inconvenience. Oh, and another thing is we recently learned that the club next door is undergoing endless construction, but not during operating hours. So that means there'll be construction during the day and at night the club music will happen all night. Okay, here's some tiny, we've given you some tiny earplugs and a white noise machine that's supposed to do something.

21:57Ronnie Karam: It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. This episode is supported by FX's The Shards, a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy.

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22:28Ronnie Karam: FX's The Shards, now streaming on Hulu.

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23:17Ben Mandelker: everything at quince is priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen so you're paying for high quality not brand markup i recently got something for all my great quince clothing which is i got a garment duffel it's like a garment bag but it can actually sort of coil up on itself and form a duffel bag so you can basically turn the inside cavity into a whole bag it's like two bags in one it's crazy it's a crazy feat of engineering and I'm obsessed.

23:47Ronnie Karam: And it's not just clothing. Quince has become our go-to from everything from hotel quality bedding, bath essentials, to premium cookware and travel must haves. Upgrade your every day. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash crappins. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's quince.com slash crappins. So Jess sees Celine and Jess is like, are you on break right now? She's like, no. She goes, then why don't, don't talk to me. Why don't you get to work? She's like, no, my work is to find guests. I will find guests.

24:30Ronnie Karam: Maybe I find guests now.

24:33Ben Mandelker: So, and she's like, but you'll never find a guest here. She's like, no, I was taking towel in the laundry. She's like, okay, but you need to go to work. Otherwise I'm going to get you in trouble. oh what what is your trouble barbara hates me oh because i'm an asshole oh it wasn't very nice you know because she didn't like that we kissed and i said i liked her but then five minutes later i'm with you and then i'm in bed with you so now solane's like uh wait so you like barbara

24:59Ronnie Karam: what the hell what she already knows i love that she's acting like she has no idea like she didn't just sit there and watch with a little dirty look on her face or an upset look on her face uh last week when at the pool when she was canoodling with Barbara and talking to her and kissing her and stuff like that which is why she ended up making her move later and boning her so we all know your move Selene okay so Selene's like well you can like Barbara too what do I care you can like Barbara too I don't care it's like well obviously she's not the type of person to you know go for somebody but then that person is going for somebody else after they say they like you so She goes, oh, but what is your situation with me?

25:37Ronnie Karam: You call me situation. Why you call me situation? I want to understand. And she's like, well, it wasn't right. I hurt her feelings, you know. And now she won't speak to me. And I fucked everything up. Oh, no. What have I done?

25:51Ben Mandelker: Oh, but I really do not know about the situation. Like, you like Barbara. Now I know. Like, you can go back to sleeping in your own bed. I do not want to be a situation. on selene you literally like you were you were born a situation okay like why is selene shocked that she's a situation she's made out with the entire boat and the entire island practically at this point and i'm not even slut shaming i say go for it but then don't be surprised when people are like yeah i'm in a weird situation where i'm hooking up with this person who's fun to hook up with like you know like don't be surprised that you're a situation but it's the attention she

26:26Ronnie Karam: She needs the attention from every single living person around her, you know. And then the second they give her enough and she's hooked them, then she dumps them. Like kind of still, you know. And then she needs attention. So she'll start fucking around in front of stilly to kind of like lead him on. And then, I don't know. But the thing that surprised me is that she got upset. And she's like, well, I don't know how it's possible to dress like someone else. You know, if she decides to stop with me, I feel like a fail. Voila. I just don't know. she hurt me. Did she hurt me? She hurt me. I don't know.

27:00Ronnie Karam: And she's crying. Like, what the fuck? You're the biggest gamer here. I can't, but she's like, I didn't hook one. You know, I failed. If you don't know, that says it all. I failed. Like she likes someone else. I'm a failure. I'm getting kicked off Love Island all over again.

27:15Ben Mandelker: Yeah. If you don't know if you've been hurt, chances are you probably have not been hurt. So they, um, they, they anchor and, um, they're going to start plating. and Anthony is saying, after the villa, it's a fresh start because I see now, I feel really better. You know, now I can cook hot dogs alone and not be mad about it. I'm just so happy. What I love, I do every day. Like, oh, can we have Instagram more, please? I'm going to have a personal moment. Okay, there it is and here we go. Cooking is my purpose for sure because I have very bad dyslexia. So, I almost got kicked out of school but like, I can't focus on one thing.

27:52Ben Mandelker: The one thing I'm focused on is when I cook. So, I feel like colonists will save my life from dyslexia. And every time I cook for people, I'm wondering, am I cooking for people or am I cooking people? Dyslexia. I just don't feel like it's a job. It's a passion.

28:07Ronnie Karam: The way they're tying this in... It is nisiyap. It is nisiyap. Oh, did you mean passion? Dyslexic, please. I'm trying not to break down right now. Okay. Smart.

28:16Ben Mandelker: The way they are tenuously drawing this together, like, oh, I feel so much better after I talked with Fraser because I am dyslexic and I had a hard time in school and cooking saved my life because I had a hard time and I found something where dyslexia was not going to interfere. And so I was happy. I'm happy now that everything is okay because now I can go back to the thing that I love. I mean, come on, this is too much.

28:39Ronnie Karam: It's like you just threw a straw hat and yelled at some people. You don't need a full dyslexia monologue.

28:45Ben Mandelker: We don't need to hear like the, yeah, we don't need to hear like the fine subtext about how dyslexia informed your tantrum right now. Like it's fine. You're dyslexic. Like, it's okay. Like, we'll move on. We'll all move on together.

28:55Ronnie Karam: This isn't your defense for the death penalty. You know, it's like, oh, but my childhood, it was so hard. And then I found culinary school, which saved me. Saved me from reading, you know. Listen, Anthony. It's a parking ticket. You can just pay the fine and go home.

29:13Ben Mandelker: Anthony, I'm not discrediting your dyslexia, you know. Like, that's a real thing. But we all know if you're a real chef, culinary school, cooking would have saved you from drugs. and living on the street, not dyslexia. So you kind of just like showed your ass there. Okay, be more hardcore.

29:29Ronnie Karam: So Rainbow's like, um, Fraser, can I please see you? It's about Solane. Because today I was cleaning and doing, and you know, cleaning up deck. And she was just standing there doing nothing on the app deck, just staring off. And I was like, hey, babe, mind checking the day hence. And he's like, and what did she say? What was the response? She said, hold on. Okay, sure.

29:58Ben Mandelker: Well, I guess that's a better response than we've had in the past. I'm just going to keep a closer eye on her without actually reprimanding her or telling her she has to do her job better or tell her to respect you. I'll just say that I'm going to keep a closer eye on her so that way you get out of my personal space and I can go back to doing things like coming up with my next quip for my interview.

30:19Ronnie Karam: Have you ever been to a rodeo? what do they like exactly what do they do there something about fat men i just want to say fat

30:26Ben Mandelker: men what else happens there are there actually roads in a rodeo or does it happen in a different

30:33Ronnie Karam: sort of space so rainbow really thinks she did something there she's like um since the villa the dynamic between barbara solane and i has not changed and it's the point where everybody's on the outs and it's like sad but it is refreshing to be like okay guys we're all like outside now We all get it, right? We all get it. You saw somebody standing there. You asked them to do work. They said, okay, move along now, ma 'am.

31:00Ben Mandelker: I don't know what you think you're getting. This is very liberating for her. She's like, wait, we are finally at a place where we all are not getting along, which makes me feel most at home because this is how it was before we went to the island in the middle of a lake in Holland where we all fought.

31:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she's happiest when nobody's getting along. Like, it's not just her that people don't like.

31:20Ben Mandelker: it's everybody that's the environment she knows best so Frey's just like yeah we're gonna do cabin so everyone's changing for the cowboy cowboy dinner and they're saying how they really just don't want one guy Richard's like well I didn't even want Kelly to come on this trip and yeah and they're like yeah I don't want him either and they're like it's bummed they're bummed because Helen basically has to spend the night you know she has to spend could you think of something more insulting and terrible than having to spend the night on a beautiful Caribbean island alone instead of being on a yacht.

31:56Ben Mandelker: Well, with Kelly, though, that's the problem.

31:59Ronnie Karam: She has to keep that wreck going. So Brian calls Helen. She's like, hey, it's me, Helen. I just want a promise. A promise I could return. And he's like, what's up? You know what? This is stupid and it's not your fault. It's not anyone else's fault but that trash Kelly. You tell your crazy-ass white trash slut friend And she needs to go home. And you've got to come back here and enjoy your friends. Because one thing we are not going to have on this boat is Kelly. And you better tell her that. Brian's really ready to go.

32:30Ben Mandelker: He's on one. Yeah, he really is. So now they're going to do this cowboy thing. And it's time for dinner. They all are gathering. Anthony serves a bouillabaisse, which is just what they would eat on the frontier. Super rodeo. Super rodeo. When I think rodeo, I'm like, get me that bouillabaisse. Can we have some muscles? Maybe a delicate, I don't know, vichyssois.

33:04Ronnie Karam: So someone asked Frank if he's got a girlfriend. He's like, it's a long story. like, pow! Brian's like, well, you're allergic to girlfriends because they break out and cuss, right? Am I right? Like, Helen? And someone's like, God, it's just not the same without Helen, is it? God, we miss Helen. We're down to Frank's mistresses. Like, that's what we're talking about now.

33:24Ben Mandelker: Come on. She's missing this cowboy bully base. Such a travesty. So Barbara is talking, sits down with Solaine, and she's like, let me ask you something. Is everything okay between us? And she's like, yep. because I really feel like you're a bit upset about this. And she's like, well, I really like her, of course, as you could tell by the fact that I started making out with other people. And just today, she just told me, like, I like Barbara, and I was feeling bad about that.

33:50Ronnie Karam: And she's like, well, we just made out, you know, at the carnival, because that's what you do. But it was just one little kiss, you know. And I don't think she put me in a nice situation, but it's not fair. And, you know, I'm just, everything's my fault, and I just want to explain to you because I just want to be friends with you. So they make up, basically. And Barbara's like, yeah, I just want to explain. And she's like, oh, thank you, Barbara. At least you explain. You explain, now I understand. She goes, okay. Oh, my God, there's lipstick in the toilet. Where's this woman putting her mouth?

34:22Ronnie Karam: You see that there is lipstick, like, marks on the rim of the toilet, like she was making out with the toilet lid. What the hell?

34:30Ben Mandelker: there's also like lipstick like under the sofa I think that she like sat on her lipstick and it got like on her thigh or her leg and then it just smeared on everything she sat on because I know it's disgusting I mean I would be mortified if I were her but we all know she's not mortified she's actually probably so proud she's like look at me look at that dude I was being hilarious so So, yeah, so she's got it everywhere.

35:04Ronnie Karam: Next up at the rodeo meal, Branzino with lemon caper sauce. Also not a rodeo meal.

35:12Ben Mandelker: Excuse me. Are they just pulling out the entire Wyatt Earp menu? I mean, come on. The authenticity is off the charts.

35:19Ronnie Karam: This is so Yellowstone cookbook.

35:23Ben Mandelker: Wait a second. Are we in St. Martin or are we in Tombstone? because last time I checked, this is full-on cowboy food.

35:31Ronnie Karam: What are we in, St. John Wayne?

35:37Ben Mandelker: What are we in, St. Martin Scorsese directing a genre picture about the cowboys? It was a little bit of a stretch. I get it. I was just trying to yes and. Yes and in the film situation.

35:46Ronnie Karam: Oh, situation. So Jennifer's like, oh, wow, very nice. Might be the best Branzino I ever tasted. As we talked about, Ben, you made a brand zino last night. Do you think you were inspired by this show?

36:02Ben Mandelker: God, I hope not. But maybe I was. Maybe it infected my brain. All I know is that yesterday, it was such a beautiful day here in Los Angeles. And I have been wanting to eat healthier, so I'm trying to eat more fish. And I just decided I wanted to make a whole fish. So I went all the way over to the fish the fish market which meant I had to go the Grove which is I mean this is dedication

36:26Ronnie Karam: But also there's like three I was wondering where you got a brand Zeno. I was like, I don't know Yeah, that arouse

36:32Ben Mandelker: No, because Los Angeles despite being our coastal city has all of about like three fish markets at this entire Metropolis there's like one in Glendale There's like one Santa Monica and then there's a fish counter.

36:45Ronnie Karam: It's one downtown, right? Oh Oh yeah, there's that too. You don't want to go down there.

36:49Ben Mandelker: I mean, right. Am I right? Who wants to go downtown? Who wants to go downtown? Republicans. That's disgusting. I mean, Democrat thing. Sorry, I got drunk with my party affiliation for Kelly. So I had to go to the fish counter at the farmer's market in the Grove because there was like a Monsieur Marcel and they have a fish counter. So I went, you know, I'm not going to lie to you, Ronnie. I was originally going to go for red snaps. But I decided to do a Branzino. instead of small, it was cute, it was about a pound. I said, let's do it. Let's get this Branzino going. So I grilled her up and I deboned it and it was delicious, but guess what?

37:25Ben Mandelker: You never really can debone a Branzino because there are bones on bones on bones. It's like this cast. Lots of bone.

37:31Ronnie Karam: Why are there so many bones in a Branzino? Listen, I started eating Branzino because of Below Deck because Captain Sandy was always talking about fucking Branzino, or at least we were always talking about Branzino as Captain Sandy.

37:42Ben Mandelker: I think we only said it once, but it's fine. We ran with it.

37:45Ronnie Karam: Yeah. but you know I've ordered it a few times when I'm out and they have it and every single time there's a million bones in this thing I don't care if they say they fillet it for me they do all the stuff and they're still full of bones I don't get that fish I don't get why it's so popular I need less bones

38:01Ben Mandelker: I know I mean it was delicious and it was so fun to cook and it like cooked perfectly it was like you know I've never grilled a whole fish before and I was like

38:08Ronnie Karam: boom your intestines are stabbed

38:10Ben Mandelker: next thing you know internal bleeding I mean here maybe that's why I'm so tired today because i'm like slowly leaching blood into my stomach but like you know i thought like for sure it was me drama i was like this fish is this is my first time grilling fish it's gonna stick to the greats we all know what's gonna happen it didn't stick it flipped over it looked beautiful and it tasted lovely too but and i followed i mean i when i tell you because you know me i watched so many deboning videos and i watched all the technique i did it i was so fastidious i did everything i pulled out the fish head the spine came everything still bones in that thing like big bones, not just like little pinnets.

38:45Ben Mandelker: Big bones. You know why? You know why? You know why? This is the problem. Those branzinos are too small. I never realized how small branzinos are. They're too small. You need a fish that has more meat to bone ratio.

38:58Ronnie Karam: That's why. I don't know, but I've never understood that fish. Okay, something else not understood, this time by the chef, what lava cake is. So a dairy-free lava cake comes out, which they're naturally dairy-free, but I think and give him up the ice cream. And anyway, they got into it, no lava came out. Okay, there was no lava. That was a cup of cake.

39:19Ben Mandelker: That's actually a big pet peeve of mine. Me too.

39:22Ronnie Karam: You can't do a lava cake when there's no lava in there. It's like calling it a volcano when it's spouting out licorice. No, it needs to spout out lava.

39:31Ben Mandelker: I do believe that in like a whimsical setting like Candyland, a licorice volcano does qualify as a volcano. Dangerous. People would lose their eyes. They'd be like, well, we didn't get burned to death,

39:41Ronnie Karam: but we did get poked a lot.

39:42Ben Mandelker: my flung sticky things smell weird i detest a lava cake that does not do the lava thing because then what's even the point then you're just having like a generic piece of chocolate cake that tastes nice but there's like no point in it like it's like the most generic cake you could get but if it's lava like when the lava comes out it's special and delicious and gooey and like yeah that should have been clocked you know who's really perfect it was clocked by me

40:07Ronnie Karam: You know who's really perfected the lava cake? Domino's. Domino's pizza. Yes. There's probably fake, right? I'm sure. It tastes like chemicals. It's like, yeah, it's like chemical lava cake.

40:19Ben Mandelker: But probably like a corn syrup on the inside. Yeah. Well, good for them.

40:22Ronnie Karam: Hey, listen, a lot of things use corn syrup. I'm learning that because I'm on a pastry tour on YouTube right now learning about Pop Tarts. And so that has led me to look at pie crust videos, which has led me to look at pie videos. Because I'm like, well, I could be a pie person. I could be like that lady from Waitress, the film, you know, or just like make pies. That could be my thing.

40:43Ben Mandelker: Or a waitress in general.

40:44Ronnie Karam: Waitress. That's what it is. Yeah. And maybe I'll be a pie person. You know, I'm searching for my new identity because I'm going through my midlife crisis. And corn syrup is in everything. I'm telling you. They put it in all these. These girls have no shame on the YouTube. They're like, man, then you put corn syrup. And that's how you make a lemon. That's the only way to make a lemon meringue. So fucking deal with it. Or corn syrup. It's sort of funny. starch, but they do use a lot of corn syrup too.

41:09Ben Mandelker: It is kind of funny. Cause I'm sort of in a, in a semi pie stage. I recently made some pie dough and like pie dough is like hard for me. And, um, uh, I got a new cookbook called fat and flour and, uh, and there's like a technique called the cold butter technique or whatever that I try it out. And it's good. The problem with pies I find is that I actually don't like a lot of pies because a lot of them are like berries, you know? so it's like i like i love an apple pie i like like a lemon pie i'm not like a cream pie pie banana pie chocolate pie pecan yeah those are fun a lot of corn syrup in them well i love a pecan pie yeah love a pecan pie i just feel like in terms of like the fruity pies which is what it feels like also a nickname that i have for myself uh but i think that like in terms of fruity pies hey fruity pie um it's the summer so it feels like you should have like some sort of like fresh fruity pie but like i don't like a lot of fruity pies and it's like really sad for me

42:08Ronnie Karam: i gotta figure it out speaking of lava cake um jennifer says something that i really felt to my soul she's like the best part of my day is when i take my bra off i was like yeah girl i'm with you

42:22Ben Mandelker: letting them let them hang out me too yeah let them flap in the wind there okay i'm with you So Rainbow is like, it's late. Now it's 1.13 in the morning. Rainbow tells Solaine that she's going to send her to bed. She goes, it's not really. And Solaine goes, that is very nice. She goes, not really. It's just kind of my job to tell you that. She goes, no, no, no. But I'm not saying that you are nice. I say it is nice to go to bed in general.

42:52Ronnie Karam: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Go to bed, bitch. She calls her. She walks off. It's like, okay, now you're just looking for stuff because she's not even being mean to you this whole episode. You're the one running around tattletailing and now calling her a bitch. She didn't even do anything. I mean, there's other episodes she has, but Selene's just on a warpath now. And I kind of like, I mean, not Selene, Rainbow.

43:15Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I like that personally. I like it. These people, they're not doing their work. They don't like you. Stop trying to be friends with them. You don't have to be friends with them. Just drop all the pretenses and just be your natural self.

43:26Ronnie Karam: Well, that's what she's doing. That's for darn, darn jiggity. Be the Dutch bitch that you are. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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45:15Ronnie Karam: So then at 6 a.m. the next day, everybody's getting up, and at 8.15, Helen calls Carrie. And she's like, good morning, Captain. Carrie, this is Helen. first of all I just wanted to say thank you for the way you handled Kelly you did it right you know I'm ready to resume my vacation please I beg you one last time please let me back on the boat please I'll do anything

45:37Ben Mandelker: I'll do anything do you get the feeling that Helen always says that anytime she answers the phone or calls someone hi this is Helen even though we're now in an age where we always see who's calling it's like hi this is Helen it's like yes we know Helen it says your name on the phone we have cell phones now

45:52Ronnie Karam: So he shoots her a water taxi, and then he announces to the crew that she's coming back in 45. Well, we're waiting for the primary to come back, everybody. And Anthony's like, oh, well, then maybe for lunch I will make it simple because tonight is eight course. You know, this is very lot. That is very lot for me. He's like, just make sure they're going to be full. Please. Please.

46:17Ben Mandelker: Now, if Anthony makes him an eight-course meal that's like T-bone steaks and like onion rings and like roast chicken and things like that, I'll be like, okay, there really is something to his dyslexia. Oh no, I did the wrong one on the wrong night. Then it would make sense why the food was the night before.

46:36Ronnie Karam: I am serving you no shellfish. That was the gay charter three charters ago. It's like, oh, it is not dyslexia. I cannot read catalog. I cannot read calendar. I'm sorry. It's calendar-based dyslexia.

46:51Ben Mandelker: Merry Christmas!

46:53Ronnie Karam: Merry Christmas, everybody! No, wrong, wrong.

46:56Ben Mandelker: He's just blaming everything on dyslexia. It doesn't even matter. It has nothing to do with dyslexia. Only calendar-based dyslexia. You just didn't turn the page on your calendar.

47:09Ronnie Karam: It is odd. I turned the page backwards.

47:14Ben Mandelker: very very jumbled you know she always says if i could turn back time all she has to do is turn the calendar page a different direction it works every time guys look who's back it's helen so she

47:26Ronnie Karam: hugs her husband and she's like that was so bad you know what i think of in my second life i'm going to become a nurse and he's like no yeah you're a therapist she goes well what i'm already a therapist i mean come on what what am i a therapist what do you think lingerie sales is is therapy. It's therapy, Frank.

47:43Ben Mandelker: Helen, you can still be a nurse, by the way. She's like, you know what? If I ever die and come back to this earth in a mortal coil, I'll be a nurse then. I'm like, you can do it. You can do it now, Helen. It's not too late.

47:55Ronnie Karam: Change your life. Just change it up.

47:58Ben Mandelker: It's not like in another life I'll come back and be like an elite athlete where your window has closed. Like the nursing thing, do it, Helen. You can come in to see patients and be like, hello i'm helen i'm your nurse i'm helen you're gonna die out your asshole i think what you need

48:13Ronnie Karam: is a decent bra at bedtime okay i've got a couple of models coming in here to show you what you

48:20Ben Mandelker: could be doctor we got another brand xenobleter in here okay guess what you've heard of a you've heard of a you've heard of a hospital gown guess what i invented hospital lingerie put it on you'll

48:33Ronnie Karam: feel great the doctor's like scalpel scalpel please god damn it helen this is a thong listen it's precision that's what this requires what is this heart surgery that's what this

48:45Ben Mandelker: requires trust me trust me before you open up this body she's gonna want to have some panties on give

48:52Ronnie Karam: it to her no one wants to bleed to death in pajamas all right listen

49:02Ben Mandelker: it'll just make her look more shapely if you put the wonder bra on her okay before you go into her

49:08Ronnie Karam: appendectomy so she comes up to carrie and she's like captain that was exhausting and let me tell you are you directed by spike lee because you do the right thing every single time thank you and Kelly carries like, is she doing all right? I think she's going to therapy after this. No joke. No joke. The woman is going to be therapized.

49:31Ben Mandelker: Oh, I just got a video from Kelly. She's drinking a martini and she's saying, this is my therapy. Okay. I didn't get the joke. Apparently I didn't realize she was joking.

49:43Ronnie Karam: So now Kyle calls one of his friends and he's like, how are you going? lad and we just hear meh. Oh, yeah, well, I'm still kind of over it, you know, I've got it. I've got it by the whole thing. I'm a bit hurt. You know what I'm saying, don't you? It's just killing me. I couldn't get out of bed this morning. I just need a few days to be like, oh, you're a suck and then get over it.

50:07Ben Mandelker: I've just been in a foul mood, but whatever. You know, the wind's well and truly knocked out of my sails, which everyone wants to hear from someone working on a boat. So Lane's definitely playing the field, which is fair, but maybe I'm a little jealous. Maybe. But I was definitely catching feelings for this girl, and now I look like a mug. Literally, I've got a handle stuck onto my head. I don't know how that happened. Drunk accident. Anyway, I look like a mug and a puppy, and you know, I'm not the best version of myself right now, which is sad because if the other version you've seen of me is my best version, well, just think about that.

50:42Ben Mandelker: But anyway, it's definitely fucking spread out for me big time.

50:46Ronnie Karam: And now this guy is also doing a defense the whole time, but it's a pre-defense because he already knows at this point probably that he fucks Barbara or whoever he fucks. Doesn't he end up fucking Helen or somebody? Not Barbara. What do I keep saying? Helen. They're making it look like he goes and fucks Helen. So I don't know yet. I don't know. But it sounds like he's already making a defense. Like, I'm just so broken up after what Selene did to me. Look what I've become. Look what I've become.

51:10Ben Mandelker: him yes he just had to he had to go towards the one person who made him feel attractive

51:19Ronnie Karam: i'm sorry i'm sorry that i finally felt a felt a draggative do somebody it's like themselves

51:27Ben Mandelker: you just start doing all the valley defenses yeah so now it's the second day of the charter it's the morning the guests are gonna sit down for breakfast and helen's like hi i'm helen it's Helen anyway I'm leaving I'm in the same swimwear as yesterday because that's how quickly I left the boat it was an emergency I'm wearing the same exact swimwear oh I guess it's not even the next day it is the next day but it's not the next day after the next day okay I'm still in the same bikini bottom the next day from yesterday

51:54Ronnie Karam: yeah and so she's wearing the same thing and so someone's like well you sure have a nice booty Helen she goes oh yeah that's right bought and paid for bought and paid for

52:07Ben Mandelker: so the guest is like wow there's food he prepared this perfectly. I mean, I never thought I would love a tomahawk steak in the morning, but you know, it tastes wonderful.

52:16Ronnie Karam: You think he's single this captain? You think he's single? I want him. I want him. Bring him home to me. I think it's pretty hot. Gary's like, ah, here you ladies, and I'm not single. Oh, I've got a very feisty Turkish missus. You don't want to get in a ring with that. She looks cute, but she'll take you out. Trust me.

52:36Ben Mandelker: That's that's why I've been working on my Turkish duolingo so in case you're wondering

52:45Ben Mandelker: I'll have some pita please for breakfast that's what they do in Turkey yeah

52:52Ben Mandelker: what was the thing that we'd always say last season when he was always practicing Turkish

52:57Ronnie Karam: he'd be like it would just everybody's parting and then it would just cut to him and he'd be like Mahaba Mahaba Mahaba

53:12Ronnie Karam: Nazilani's Nazilani's Nazilani's

53:17Ben Mandelker: Turkish delight, am I right?

53:19Ronnie Karam: Alright, that rhymed Listen, my wife didn't want me to go out again But I told her, honey I've gotta go Because I'm a man, a man who loves Makera

53:36Ben Mandelker: Oh, yes. I love an accidental rhyme. I love when I get to say that rhymed. Or in Turkish, as they say, Bu kafiyeli. Bu kafiyeli. That rhymed in Turkish. Ironically, it doesn't rhyme.

53:51Ronnie Karam: For Reuven! Okay, so there were just two words for adventure. I had to get them in there because it was time to flex. flex my muscles. So, Barbara is talking to Selene and she's getting annoyed because Selene, you know, she does suck at her job. And so there, Barbara's like, oh, we have to do these things, you know? She goes, what is turn up? She's like, turn up, you know? It is to make sure they change everything while they are out. And she goes, oh, wait, so guests are for us? She goes, no, for the guests. What would it be for us? Everything is for the guests. okay what you you want turn up in your own room your room is not turning up enough your room has turned up enough okay we need less turn up in your room personally i don't even eat turn up

54:41Ben Mandelker: so um then they find a beach for a little beach picnic the guests head out there and everything and fraser welcomes them and it's like beach fun times and stuff and helen's like is this a nude beach where's fraser fraser i don't like tan lines okay you know what as someone who has a lingerie company you know what i love to do not wear it okay oh who wants to wear well who wants

55:03Ronnie Karam: to wear lingerie am i right anything's either last dad lied phrase so i gotta take off my top i'm like please don't you know and this is the problem with nude beaches everybody thinks like oh you know you go to the nude beach and everyone is like everyone's gonna be so hot that was my first thought like if i go to nude beach i'm gonna feel so insecure because i'm always so insecure about my body and everyone's gonna be all hot naked and stuff and then you get there and no one's hot and naked and i'm like wait these these are all people i don't want to see naked like where hbo's real sex yeah like i'm gonna be naked at the beach and put myself through this trauma i should at least be able to see hot people i'm not saying i am one i know i'm not but at least i can have the view of it but no it's it's the helens it's the helens and the franks of the world that are at the nude beach yeah it's unfortunate it's a shame that's why i'm taking a burkini and i'm going to a holiday in pool no a best western pool i've already decided oh we're terribly sorry but

56:01Ben Mandelker: the best the pool's closed for renovations sorry so um uh so helen's like oh oh my god the water i need kyle kyle you're my floating raft kyle just hold me hold me because you're my raft all right here we are kyle so she's just like topless and in kyle's arms and he's loving it he's i mean she Helen's basically being held up by Kyle's boner at this point. And her husband's just sitting there. Frank is like, I don't care. Because he's been down. It's not his first time at the rodeo callback. Because this probably happens every time there's a vacation. He doesn't care. I feel like the staff is more scandalized than he is.

56:40Ben Mandelker: He's like, oh, it's Helen being Helen. What can I say?

56:43Ronnie Karam: It's like, say, my first time at the rodeo, I got a Branzino in my pocket.

56:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but you're used to it. I think they're probably swinging or something. because he's like, well, whatever. And they're playing this really dramatic music. Like, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun. And Kyle's kind of carrying this naked lady through the water. And everybody seems like they're chill and having fun. But the music's like... Yeah.

57:08Ben Mandelker: The music is so extra right now. And Damo's like, she's got her top off and this chick's nuts. I've got no idea what's going on in that guy's head. Vibes are weird. I'm like, I think he's just... She's like, she wants Kyle. he's whoring himself out as per the duties of a staff member on a yacht yeah and kyle's like

57:28Ronnie Karam: listen my hands were above the hooter rate and helen's like this is better than a pool float it's better than a pool float you do a great job stilly how come they call him stilly i've never

57:38Ben Mandelker: really understood that is that like a term for scottish uh stilly i think oh his last name is

57:46Ronnie Karam: stilly oh it is kyle stilly oh there you go i think yeah kyle stilly i just looked him up and he's got a lot of veins in his first picture he's very veiny in his face is he hot is he in the steam room what's happening to kyle in this picture i have to look now it's his instagram let me see stilly visits um ask a question why am i signed out of instagram okay here it is yeah um he looks terrifying in this picture let me see what does it say somewhere in the world that's what i am that's all it says somewhere in the world i have to say never gone hashtag model never gone hashtag model

58:32Ben Mandelker: um still he is having the time of his life he's loving this because you know he's going through a lot right now with Solaine. So to be able to have a fresh body in his arms is very meaningful to him. And, you know, he says no requests too large, so to speak. You know, bear on the boat. So Helen's like, Oh God, St. David. I'm totally doing St. David again. This is great. Oh, wow. So then meanwhile, Solaine calls her brother to complain about the situation. Oh no, I can't believe you said that word, my mental girl. I'm very close to my brother, like when we are together. we're like best friends and like we do the bad stuff together like make out with each other and stuff but like when i have to jump from the window to escape to go see my boyfriend like don't tell mom like we share the secrets together and i've never been with a woman so it's a little surprise for me but how could you try to do something with me in the meantime like a new one the producer's

59:28Ronnie Karam: like uh you remember making out with uh scotty or stilly the other day oh no it's not the same Bob is my best friend. Bob is my roommate, so I need to protect myself. The first rule is don't get hurt. Well, that's your problem. No, do not harm others either. What kind of doctor are you going to be? First rule, don't get hurt. No, cause no harm. Do no harm. Yeah, do no harm.

59:59Ben Mandelker: First, do no harm.

1:00:00Ronnie Karam: If I was the head of the doctor community, I would say we need to change our saying because we're constantly doing harm, whether we mean to or not. Like, not everybody can be saved. And I think it's just self-defeating to say do no harm. Okay? We're going to get sued. So let's just change it to lava cake should be lava in the middle. Okay, everybody? Now go forward. Pass it on.

1:00:22Ben Mandelker: That's right. I would say no harm, no charm. Right? So Helen is like, they sit down for lunch, and Helen is like, okay, oh, my God, this food, I'm just going to worship you right now. This is amazing. Jen, Jen, just have a drink. Okay, don't let a Zenpik dictate your life. Okay, have fun. Somewhere Amaira from Next Gen New York City is like, that is like the most biggest breach of etiquette I've ever heard talking about someone else's a Zenpik.

1:00:49Ronnie Karam: That bitch food shamed me. That bitch food, she fat shamed me. Wow.

1:00:57Ronnie Karam: So Jennifer is, now they're ready to go back in the water and Helen's like, I'm not getting back in there without Stilly. I ain't doing it. And he's still in my raft. So Fraser's like, stilly, there's a request to have you in the water, the primary. Do it. And he's like, oh, I can get fine. I can get back in that water. Okay, well, I'd like it to be known that Fraser knew what was going on. He knew that he was carrying this naked lady around. He never said, have some boundaries. Don't forget your boundaries. He just said, go back into the water with that lecherous woman.

1:01:28Ben Mandelker: That's right.

1:01:29Ronnie Karam: Just when he gets in trouble next week, just remember, he's throwing him. Tossing him in that bus. Bus water. Yeah, threw me into the bus water.

1:01:38Ben Mandelker: Big bus water. Big, big bus water. So Anthony's back on the boat. Carrie's checking in about dinner. And Carrie's basically like, can you make sure it's not a three-hour meal? Because they're all wasted. I don't want to have to sit there for three hours. And then Richard's passed out on the beach, which is one of the guests. And Helen and Kyle are getting handsy again. And Rainbow's like, I'm just like, what? Am I living in a twilight zone? like her husband's 20 meters away just you see frank he's like you know just wants a beer he doesn't the more you do the less i have to do garden kid so um then fraser calls carry to pick them up and uh barbara's papa is like telling selene you should do the the the welcome drinks and everything and so then they're approaching and barbara's like selene selene barbara selene and Barbara, like, come on, come to the bar now.

1:02:32Ben Mandelker: Come to the bar now. And Barbara's like, no, yes, oh, you can, what, okay, but I have to put away vacuum in good place. They can not yell at me, okay? I mean, you cannot call me situation because I'm putting vacuum in closet.

1:02:43Ronnie Karam: So Barbara's getting pissed and she takes both trays out by herself. And it's like, where were you? It's like, I'm here, I'm here. Why are you screaming at me? Please come down with me. You do not have to talk like this with me. Speak proper.

1:02:55Ben Mandelker: Speak proper. No, they are here. They are here. So, Len, come, come on. They are here. you come on you have to be here quickly okay then stay here okay if you don't want to be here then

1:03:01Ronnie Karam: stay here okay yeah she's like okay well where are the drinks and you don't have to scream with me like that i don't just come at you i'm coming i'm not here but you're not here i need someone i'm

1:03:12Ben Mandelker: not talking about drinks like i want to wait at the time otherwise things fall and they fall you clean up it actually makes more of a mess i mean if you don't do you're vacuuming earlier do it later but you don't but if i need you now i need you now okay i need you now i need you now why I am not here. You should be here.

1:03:29Ronnie Karam: Ooh la la. They are here. I told you they were here. So they start passing out drinks and Barbara is going to kill her. So Jennifer is like, Captain, I want to know where to send my application. And this is the life for me. And he's like, oh, you like working 18, 20 hours a day? Just talking to your kid when he's learning to drive. Do you know how hard it is trying to teach a 15-year-old how to drive on FaceTime? God, it's crazy. That's not easy.

1:03:58Ben Mandelker: It's not easy at all. But what I will say is.

1:04:07Ronnie Karam: You're looking at Turkish. It's worth it. That was a long phrase you typed in. Horrible.

1:04:15Ben Mandelker: What are you talking about typing? That was the sound of my brain churning as I remember the Turkish I've been learning. It's a spinning beach ball. As you were spinning beach ball. spinning beach ball or as they say in turkey donan plashtapu

1:04:33Ronnie Karam: so demo is like so hey what's going on rainbow did you get kicked off the boat now you're back what's going on she's like well i was borderline whether i could come or not i mean we've got tensions on the boat in the interior i just work so hard you know i just work so hard i work so hard it stresses me out and i i think there's something going on with jess like a little love triangle oh god i don't know everybody hates each other isn't it great rainbow the uh the

1:05:02Ben Mandelker: observation powerhouse that is rainbow i think there's a love triangle going on really i didn't notice that at all during it out really nobody talks to rainbow it's so sad she really is not aware so then uh jessica starts to barbara she's like are you okay So I was like, mm-hmm. Are you sure? I heard you on the radio. Hello? Do you hear me? Is it me you're looking for? Answer me. Please answer me. And Barbara's like, oh.

1:05:31Ronnie Karam: She ignores her and like scrolls very slowly on her phone. I like when people do the slow scroll on the phone. Like I'm not even scrolling quickly. I'm just very, very slowly ignoring you.

1:05:43Ben Mandelker: Enjoy. I have so much time in the world that I can scroll slowly. And I'm still, with all that time, not taking any of it to talk to you. That's what I'm doing right now.

1:05:55Ronnie Karam: So just as her whole, oh, this is all my fault. I've done horrible things. This is me suffering the consequences of my actions. So I guess I would have to suffer. So then Jess is like, so did you hear Barbara on the radio with Soso? And Hugo is like, oh, she's getting fucking bitched at hard, dude. I was like, who's Hugo? He's the new guy. Like she's getting fucking bitched out hard, dude. It's like bad. It's bad.

1:06:23Ben Mandelker: It's bad. He's bad. He's from New York. So Jess is like, I think she's awesome. Like I really do dig her, but people are complaining about the work ethic. Like it's not the first time I've heard it. It's like, yeah, well, you might as well get it in soon because I don't know. I don't know what you guys call it, but you might as well get it in soon. What do you, so what do you lesbians do? What's the version of lesbians getting into might as well get them touching soon. Might as well get the legs wrapped around the leg. might as well scissor soon am i getting close tell me she's like oh well i did sleep alone last night

1:06:52Ronnie Karam: barbara wants nothing to do with me she made me she made that very clear and he's like oh because you smell like so-so that's why you understand that right she's like oh my own consequences

1:07:05Ben Mandelker: instagram wall hugo says well this love triangle between jesseline and barbara is just it's just too messy she doesn't know what she wants but the problem is people are going to be jealous and people are going to pretend to be angry at each other and you have to be an adult you can't pretend that we're in this bubble you can just freely keep eating getting with people it's just not it's just not going to affect anything i mean we live we eat we sleep we shit in the same place it reminds me when i was a kid i once ate a candy bar there there was my personal information moving

1:07:34Ronnie Karam: on i did it because my dad tortured me there there's a parental story we can move on so uh some of the guys the barbara and helen or a couple of those are just like conked out on the couch in the most like in the way that you just don't want to be caught by cameras she's like just like there with her bikini like she's all hanging out everywhere and she's just like they're like breathing with her mouth open yeah it's like mortifying and then like one of their

1:08:03Ben Mandelker: friends i don't like their friend who came up and like was trying to wake them up i'm like let them he's passed out like hello are you guys passed out hello hello i'm like get out of there let

1:08:13Ronnie Karam: you want a drink you want a margarita something what do you want um so then let's see they wake up helen wakes up and uh she's like uh i want to pack my suitcase kyle could you come with me and he's like oh you can take me with you she goes yeah you're you're coming in it and she's like i'm taking you home that was just so good kyle what you did for me that was so good you do

1:08:35Ben Mandelker: a good job, Kyle. You do a good job. Damo, meanwhile, is talking to Hugo, and he's like, still he had a hard shift. And Hugo's like, why? He's like, there was some wordplay in there, but that you didn't pick up on. But anyway, primary took a liking to him, used him as a flotation device in the water while she was topless. And he had an erection, an enormous bona erection. He's still not following Hugo. So then Fraser is working with Anthony to figure out what the meal is for the evening and anthony is like um saying how the meal is gonna last it's gonna take three hours and we've got and but now he's got to do this three-hour meal in just one hour because

1:09:14Ronnie Karam: carrie told him to do you think that damo is kind of acting weird with kyle do you think like kyle being hurt that damo is making out with his girl made damo go on the defensive because what does damo care that he was carrying that lady in the water it seems weird that damo's making this big a deal out of it over and over and now going to their boss and making a big deal out of it and kind of tattletaling on him in a very casual way i didn't really expect that behavior from him you know demo's doing that they were doing the best thing but it seems like weird best friend behavior

1:09:46Ben Mandelker: demo's doing that thing where he did the shitty thing and kind of can't despite saying that he's in a selfish space in his life and this is just what he's going to do he kind of can't like actually sit with it and be okay with it so he's gonna have to start creating a narrative that kyle is like the crazy unprofessional unreasonable one because like when he went to kyle to kind of like apologize even though kyle was like it's all good he could tell kyle was mad and so demo i don't think is comfortable with having people mad at him so he has to sort of start turning it on the other person so that way demo doesn't feel bad because of the other person because he's being

1:10:25Ronnie Karam: fishy that is not like i'm not saying kyle's being professional i mean of course if it was if it was anybody else being like well that is unprofessional i don't you know i would get it but like you're supposed to be best friends and also you're the one making out with everybody like trying to be like the most sexually free like you're the male saline on this boat so it's like for you to be throwing stones feels a little weird especially to the boss i don't know shady behavior highlights yeah

1:10:55Ben Mandelker: so now Demo is talking to Jess about how he has to wash his sheets and Jess is like I haven't washed my sheets only done it one time but I've also been sleeping in other people's beds haha

1:11:09Ronnie Karam: he's only washed his sheets one time too this whole charter that is nasty don't they have some kind of like standard where you have to wash your sheets

1:11:18Ben Mandelker: that's nasty if only they had some people on board who had some sort of expertise with

1:11:22Ronnie Karam: washing sheets if only we had some maids on this board come on

1:11:27Ben Mandelker: so then um uh so then uh jess is telling us more she goes this whole situation sorry i had to say the word it's making me really nervous it reminds me of high school and it didn't end so well i was in a group of three girls and there was one girl that i was having a thing with but it's because the other girl who I actually liked. So what I'm trying to say to you all, America, I've been playing games for many, many years.

1:11:53Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I was going to say, like, wow, thanks for the story to illustrate how you never learn fucking anything. You're doing exactly the same thing you did in high school. You're like, it reminds me of high school when I was bullied, but you're like the bully, you know? It's like, oh, God, I've just run someone over in a crosswalk. It reminds me of high school when I pushed that child out of his chair.

1:12:13Ben Mandelker: it reminded me of high school when I first became a garbage person and you know I didn't like you know she didn't like me back and I tried to make her jealous and I decided not to go for the person that I actually liked and then the other girl fucked me over and I don't know what's up with me and fucking up relationships with girls I'm really good at it apparently I'm like I know what's up with you you're terrible yeah you're an asshole

1:12:37Ronnie Karam: that's what's wrong with you and you're the one fucking everybody over in these relationships They're not fucking you over. And you're crying.

1:12:44Ben Mandelker: You were in an instance here. You led someone on insincerely because you were using them in a game to arouse the attention of someone else in a triangle. You idiot. Yeah.

1:12:58Ronnie Karam: So Damo is talking about how rainbows. Is he saying rainbows been coming on to him pretty strong? And she's like, oh, my God, Damo. No, you've been flirting with this girl all season. So don't make it seem now like, oh, my God, I don't know where rainbow's coming from. I guess rainbow's into me. Come on. Both of you. It's like both the fuckboys talking each other through something. It's like two dumb fuckboys standing around telling each other. Exactly. Exactly.

1:13:28Ben Mandelker: Well, tonight is an eight-horse meal with a tasting menu. And it's where you can judge if a chef is good or not because you want to come up with a story for the table. And that's the most important period. so the first course to the last course you have to make up a story, you know? It's not just shit you throw over, but I feel like it's too much in my head every day. But now I'm a new man and I'm telling myself, I'm a winner, I'm a winner, I'm a winner, I'm a renew, oh, did that one wrong. And I got this, I got this. I just got,

1:13:57Ronnie Karam: yeah, I like that he's trying to get all like, I'm a bitchy chef now. Like he's trying to change his character in the middle of the season and I'm just not buying it. Like Fraser comes in He's like, how's dinner coming? He's like, please, I don't want anyone in here. This is not summer camp. This is summer camp where people come in kitchen. I was like, what kind of summer camp are you in? Where it's just everybody in the kitchen.

1:14:21Ben Mandelker: Kitchen summer camp. We all know kitchen summer camp. You don't have that in America. So Damo is saying how Frank is the best guest they've had all season. He's like, yeah, there's a few mob vibes, but you know they look like they spent a couple of days down by the pizzeria swapping stores about the old days about how frankie two fingers got his name etc i'm like i just i just love now when demo dips into american culture at first you had the cowboy thing and i was like frankie two fingers i'm i'm waiting to see what's next you do like a woody allen impersonation next

1:14:58Ronnie Karam: uh so hugo's like oh wait captain's gonna be at the table and he's like yeah so if we can pick up any advanced problems we're going to have that would be great like if you have no idea the attention to detail we do to service with him it is insane what we do for the captain you do not what are you talking about you sit his ass down and serve him the same old hot dogs everyone else

1:15:19Ben Mandelker: gets ladies and gentlemen welcome to your evening of lingerie and lights here to join you wearing his most formal teddy is captain carrie please captain carrie come join and anthony is like well

1:15:35Ronnie Karam: the plan is our but it is most important captain is coming and it is scary for me but he's so important to me i want to make sure this is right you know so i'm so nervous so carrie comes in and meanwhile jess is having dinner solane is having dinner in the crew mess and jess is like uh what happened with you and Barbara today because I heard her a couple of times call you. She asked me, Celine, come down now. And I said, don't speak to me like that. You know, no worries. It's not about you, Jess. And she's like, but I care about if you keep your job or not.

1:16:10Ben Mandelker: Because guess what? Production just told me we're starting a new storyline that you're about to get fired. And she's like, well, you know what? Stop to care about anything. Stop to stop to say you care. Stop to say you care. She's like, why? What's wrong with caring about that. I'm telling you now, you need to be really careful. I don't want you to get off this boat, but I do want to get you off on this boat, if you know what I'm saying.

1:16:34Ronnie Karam: It's like, you know, maybe I prefer when we don't talk. And so she's like, oh, she just gives me off vibes. You know, now she's very distant. I don't like, I don't find people who aren't driven attractive. Oh, really? Okay, so now you're going to come up with a way that this is your choice?

1:16:50Ben Mandelker: come on yes yes she's gonna that's exactly what this is now she's gonna make it seem like solene isn't serious because i don't know something's changing for me too much trauma that you caused i feel like i'm losing my head on this boat barbara is super real exactly what you see is what you get like she speaks her feelings and just i do have regrets i feel like i'm going in circles like barbara's banglets it's just hard you know it's hard

1:17:17Ronnie Karam: yeah it's not hard but she's fucking up at every turn on this

1:17:22Ben Mandelker: she really is that's the end of the episode though that's the big cliffhanger which is what will happen next week will Jess and Selene still have terse conversations I guess

1:17:35Ronnie Karam: next week on people you don't care are fucking each other

1:17:40Ben Mandelker: that's a good rebrand thanks everyone for being here it was a delight

1:17:44Ronnie Karam: fun times everybody good talking to you we will talk to you next time love you guys bye

1:17:52Ben Mandelker: watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king it's always a party on alison block our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious

1:18:03Ronnie Karam: it's amanda foster she can run my country it's angie mcgovern it's always automatic with ashley

1:18:10Ben Mandelker: Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

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1:18:23Ronnie Karam: Hava Nagila Weber.

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1:18:35Ronnie Karam: Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

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1:18:40Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sills be. Brigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.

1:19:04Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

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1:19:33Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

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1:19:51Ben Mandelker: Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. Knock, knock, Knocking on Katie Mannock's door. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podshadley. In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani.

1:20:20Ronnie Karam: The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.

1:20:28Ben Mandelker: She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.

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