#2981 Below Deck S12E13: Derby or Not Derby

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1:20Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Andelker and joining me today is the one and only the wonderful and beautiful and fantastic and special Ronnie Karam. Oh, hello, how you doing today? I am doing just great. We have so much to get into over the course of the next few days in this podcast because today we're doing Below Deck. We've got some McBee Dynasty coming up. We are going to be on our Patreon, patreon.com slash watch for crap. Big bonus episode action is going to be happening because we will be doing our recap take on the Love Island reunion, which was quite, quite exciting.

2:09Ben Mandelker: And we got all that. It was quite long. Sheets and crackers.

2:13Ronnie Karam: If I have to hear stand on business one more fucking time. And guess what? None of them did. Stand on business. My God. You bunch of wussy ass. I can't wait to talk about that today

2:25Ben Mandelker: Here's what 95 % of that reunion was was Huda saying, oh my god, I mean, like, I fucking love I fucking love her, I fucking love her and I'm so proud of what you're doing and, like, I fucking love you and, like, I thought about it a lot and I was fucking angry, but, like, I fucking love you now, man I fucking love you, bro, and I'm just, like, so proud of you, bro I'm just so proud of you, I fucking love you, bro

2:42Ronnie Karam: Huda, like, I have to say what a sicko that woman is, like, really

2:45Ben Mandelker: because there were so many

2:48Ronnie Karam: moments in the season where you cheer for her, you know, because, like, she's getting better or then now she's being you know they're being mean to her and stuff so i went through so many emotions with huda through the whole season but this one oh my god they're like she's they're like huda you know we deserve an apology she's like okay i forgive you like what you're and she's like but you're the one who is like liking posts with my face on george floyd's body like what are you doing and she's like i forgive you it's okay i love you i love you i was like this woman's

3:18Ben Mandelker: psycho this woman is a psychopath i would comment more on huda but unfortunately legal tells me i'm

3:24Ronnie Karam: not allowed to in the netflix thing sorry ronnie um netflix is like can't comment on that you better do your below deck recap you're both getting sued yeah so we are we haven't recorded that yet but

3:36Ben Mandelker: that's going to be an undertaking and we're excited for it also some fun stuff ronnie and i I don't know if anyone in the audience has ever seen Beavers, but we are two busy Beavers, if you will, because we've been making some rounds. Ronnie was on Two Judgy Girls last week. I was then on episodes that they released yesterday and today. I was also today, I believe, airing today Rachel Lindsay's podcast, The Morally Corrupt with Rachel Lindsay. We love Rachel Lindsay. We're definitely going to have to have her on to crappy hour. I was able to guess on that. And then later this week, I will also be on Keep It.

4:13Ben Mandelker: So go support women who support other women, okay? Go listen to those podcasts and give them a listen. Give them a subscribe and join their fan bases, et cetera. So thanks to everyone who's been having both of us on to their shows.

4:28Ronnie Karam: Yes, good times. I mean, those judgy girls are classy. They're classy girls. They sent a thank you thing, which we never do when people guest with us. But they sent me a thank you thing with my two judgy girls hat. Okay. So I have this now. Two judgy girls. I'm going to wear it everywhere I go to find other judges out in the wild. The judges. The judges. Tamara judges. They have their own candy. Like they took a sour patch and they made their own wrapper that says two judgy girls. Like it's full on. Obviously, I didn't really realize it. I ripped into it. I was so excited to get sour patch kids.

5:04Ronnie Karam: and they just put the Sour Patch Kids in their own packaging. I mean, that's some classy shit. You know what you get when you guest on our show? Maybe a thank you text.

5:13Ben Mandelker: We're like, thank you. We're going to have to up our game now. Wow. Okay. Yeah, I want my own M &Ms. Yeah, we had a lot of fun on all those shows. So go check those out. But today is Below Deck Day. And it was a very exciting episode because it was another episode where where good old Jess had to deal with the consequences of her actions.

5:43Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm having to deal with the consequences of my actions. I'll bring up family cancer because there's a cancer person on boat to get out of there. Wait a minute, that's the consequences of my actions. Buck and Jess and Fraser. I will not stand for this one more second. I will tell Selene every dirty thing I've ever thought of. Selene, darling, could you please clean more? Thank you. You tell her. You tell her, Fraser. He really laid down the law. He really laid down the law. He laid down the Jude law. It was just like, hello, can I have a talk? Selene, don't do that. Season 12, episode 13, talk derby to me.

6:29Ronnie Karam: You know, this, they dress like horses and run around like they're in a derby. And I thought, could you not do that last week when you guys were stuck on the boat with those cheapos? Oh, by the way, I found out what restaurants that guy, when he's like, sorry, we didn't tip you, but we're in hospitality. Qdoba. Yeah. You don't get to brag about being in hospitality when you own some Qdobas, sir. Okay. Because I've seen the hospitality at Qdoba. And I don't even think they let me have free refills on my Diet Coke over there with the self-serve machine, if I recall correctly.

7:00Ben Mandelker: Do they even allow their servers to get tipped? I haven't been to a Qdoba, but like, and I haven't been to Dave's Hot Chicken in a while, but like, do they have it if you buy it from Dave's Hot Chicken that there's like a thing where you can say, enter in a tip? Like, so here he is talking about like hospitality and like, do they actually provide the avenues for people to give gratuity to their employees? Yeah.

7:21Ronnie Karam: He's like, I know how yacht service could be because I have a Qdoba. So, okay.

7:27Ben Mandelker: I have a restaurant that Sheena Shea went to once in West Covina. So I understand hospitality.

7:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah. But also, yeah, you can probably tip because they want tips now for like literally every single thing. Like I bought, what did I buy? I wanted the tailor. Okay. The tailor to get my pants clipped or whatever to get my pants circumcised. And they have a tip thing in that. I'm like, but I'm paying you to do the thing. You want a tip? You're the one doing the thing. It's already 30 bucks a pair. So tip him. And then what's the other thing I went to the other day? I went to the doctor. I went to the mountains. The mountains. I climbed a mountain and the mountain was like, are you going to tip this mountain?

8:08Ronnie Karam: Or even when you order DoorDash now, you tip. Obviously, you tip the DoorDash person. That's normal. But now they have a thing that says, would you like to give$5 to the restaurant? No. They're already up charging me 30 % to order from the restaurant in the first place. and now the restaurant wants a tip on top of the waiter tip go fuck yourself okay this is getting out of control and i'm a waiter i believe in tips but not for the car you know not for everything like i just did your oil i did your oil change you want to tip no you i paid you to do the oil yeah let me keep my money especially when the tipping doesn't seem to have any sort of impact

8:45Ben Mandelker: quality of service i'd like to add in what kind of service the whole the quality like they all i think the idea is that like it's to motivate people to provide better service to be better employees they're like better public facing employees so that way you get a tip but like people don't act like that necessarily and then you still have to tip them you know yeah i would

9:07Ronnie Karam: i still do tip them you know i feel like they're tricking me into like sounding like a boomer like oh tipping tipping because of course i believe in tipping culture i've made my living off tipping culture but not for every little thing you guys come on stop it now i tip the things that are

9:22Ben Mandelker: classically tip things that you tip like what i don't like i feel like if you get um takeout if you go to a restaurant get takeout that's not supposed to be a tip right right like because

9:32Ronnie Karam: you're like well i still go i still tip i'm just not like you know maybe not 30 percent or whatever

9:39Ben Mandelker: i would i mean i i tip like usually anytime it shows up because i just feel guilty but i feel i get mad i think there's things that are not not yeah i tip whenever it comes up too i complain

9:50Ronnie Karam: about it to you but if there's someone it's like the street sweeper passes by and he's like are you gonna give me a tip i'm like sure here you go i'm never gonna say no because i feel like that's terrible karma and like if that's what we do now that's what yeah it's just like some things you It's like a person. It's like the 7-Eleven. Do you have to tip the 7-Eleven next? Come on. Leave me alone. Just leave me alone. Let me keep my damn money, you guys. Everything's so expensive anyway. By the way, join our Patreon. Okay, so.

10:19Ben Mandelker: I was about to say, we're talking about like tip jars.

10:24Ronnie Karam: Nice hypocritical opening to the show. So anyway, talk derby to me. so for those of you who forgot Kyle stuck his wiener into a lady from Mob Wives and then went around bragging about it and getting shit faced to the point where he's like shaky and meth looking and still has a red nose two days later so that's where we're at with Kyle and it's sad

10:49Ben Mandelker: it's not only sad it's also like not terribly interesting at this point either it's just kind of like he's just drunk and he's annoying and so Rainbow has pulled him aside and she's basically like, you're making a lot of self-destructive decisions and Kyle's like yeah, I know, I know I am and he goes like, you're going down a path that you don't need to go on and as your supervisor, I'm going to do absolutely nothing about it. Well, I know but I'm not looking for a lecture. I understand these are the consequences of my actions I've heard.

11:22Ronnie Karam: Oh, wait a minute did someone say consequences? So So Damo's like, his job's at stake. The reputation of the captain of the boat is at stake. Who's going to tip the captain? That's on him. Grow up. You're an adult. You're an adult. So Damo's over it, you guys. And I like Rainbow. She's just like, listen, you're being really self-destructive. If you want to hit somebody, hit my sisters. I know.

11:48Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So then they like go to a party and everything. And Damo and Rainbow are being sort of flirtatious. I mean, like, guys, it's episode. It's like episode 45. There's not much time left. You guys got to hook up or whatever. So he's like, oh, you're grabbing my ass. She goes, no, no. Oh, it must be someone else. No, I generally don't think it is because, like, I would love to grab your arm. Sometimes if it's like I would actually choose arm over ass. So it's like, well, like, Rainbow, he's trying to flirt with you. Can you try to flirt back?

12:20Ronnie Karam: She does try. Not me. Yeah, she does try. But Damo is kind of like, he's like a tray of crispy tuna appetizers that have been passed around already to the whole party. And you know how it's really hard to get those with your fingers. And so everybody's kind of touched every other piece on the thing with part of their finger because they're just trying to get in there. And then by the time it gets to you, it's just, you know, there's like fingerprints and other DNA all over it. Like no one wants the last crispy tuna. And I feel like Damo's the last crispy tuna. You know, like you should have served yourself earlier because right now you're really slimy and gross.

12:59Ronnie Karam: And I'm really in it just for the rice part anyway. Get out of here, Damo, you disgusting hooker of a man. That being said, I've never turned down the crispy rice. I have eaten the last bite of crispy tuna so many times.

13:14Ben Mandelker: But of course, I also strategically place myself where the caterers come out. And so I usually get them when they are fresh as well. I have been the caterer.

13:22Ronnie Karam: So I walk away and I'm like, no one wanted this last piece of crispy tuna or eat it. Like somehow I was the one who always made it back with at least like one or two pieces left on the tray.

13:32Ben Mandelker: I'm the one. I'm the one that cater waiter always gives that weird look to because they know that they can like they can come to me and I'll finish off their tray. Those come up to me and they give that look. They go, they do that nod like you want it, huh? You want it? They like peddling drugs. They get so happy. They get so happy because they know they've got your number. Like you're the one. you're the one I'm going to go to like one more egg roll. You want this? And I'm like, well, I really have to save some space. And they do that. Not again. well, I guess I will have it. I guess I can't help it.

14:02Ronnie Karam: You know, you want it. And actually you're our biggest help because when we go out there, if you go back to the kitchen and you still have stuff on there, they're like, Ronnie could maybe stop, stop talking so much and actually do your job. So you look bad if you walk back with stuff left on your tray. So it's good to know the bends, the bends in the room.

14:23Ben Mandelker: I don't know how they know to always come to me. I wonder if it's because when they come by with their spanakopitas, I take three at a time and I say, hold on, hold on, hold on. And you start pulling out paper towels from your pocket.

14:36Ronnie Karam: You're like, okay, I got this. Those are some Ziplocs. That's the guy. Also, you're not very subtle, I have to say. I've been with you at trade passing things. And you do this thing when you get excited. I don't know how to explain it, but you stand up differently

14:50Ben Mandelker: and you start moving around a little bit like i'm like a chicken yeah you start doing this thing

14:55Ronnie Karam: with your head where you're like pretending you're looking around but you're really not it's like pretty obvious you're like a buoy in a water and the water just started getting rumbly and you're

15:04Ben Mandelker: like whoa whoa whoa there's some appetizers here where's that appetizer i get very when you get happy you really do do that i get into like survival mode i get in survival mode i'm like if i don't get that appetizer i may never get an appetizer i may never get an hors d 'oeuvre and like they're not coming over here why are they not coming over here like or why are why like they're not doing their job properly they need to come over here like we're part of the party why are we not not being included why are we not part of this party like are we lesser than

15:29Ronnie Karam: are we not part are we not important yeah so kyle is uh let's see so kyle's upset because he's being lectured by everybody but rightfully so because i don't think kyle has really even truly sobered up because he's just been wasted now he's wasted again and so um anthony and kyle and also he's just been mean to fraser in front of everybody right so now they're at the bar he's with uh anthony and he's like i'm out i'm doing fraser doesn't even like me now so he's like oh i love you don't worry you know i never argue with fraser we argue all the time you think i never argue i do it all the time with fraser you you want a towel?

16:11Ronnie Karam: You throw a towel. Throw a towel, bro. Throw a towel.

16:14Ben Mandelker: It feels really good. So I was like, I'm fucking hurt and pissed off and now throw a fucking phrase pissed off with me. I'll probably fucking ruin that friendship there and I was just kind of taking the piss so I feel really disappointed in myself. Okay, two things. You can't keep saying you're taking the piss, okay? It's like you cannot act like an asshole and be a dick and be stupid and irresponsible and then just be like, oh, just taking the piss. No, it's over. Like, it's too much. and also you can't act like a dick and an asshole and irresponsible and then act like a victim afterwards and say oh wow now fraser's pissed at me i'm like yeah because you're being dumb stop acting like that and people won't be mad at you like i'm not gonna feel sad for you because you got wasted again and you went after someone who was trying to help you like i'm sorry i'm

16:59Ronnie Karam: just not gonna feel that yeah i won't go as far as to say fraser was trying to help him but i agree with you like you you publicly like you tried to start with him at a dinner

17:08Ben Mandelker: overstate people yeah but i said help him as in like like as in like be friendly with him that's what i really meant like someone yeah yeah sort of sort of on his side at least yeah you had someone

17:20Ronnie Karam: who was listen fraser loves to go tattletale on people so the fact that he made someone else do it for him was i thought pretty like for fraser that's an olive branch i think yeah fraser's like I'm sick of being villainized. So he's just done that whole thing. So then Hugo pulls aside Fraser, and he's like, someone in my team is catastrophically spiraling into his own abyss. I think you can see that. Okay, you're not really wrong, but that's your job as a head of department. And also stop being a dick to everybody on the boat. Hugo really lost me this past couple of them. I mean, he never really had me.

18:01Ben Mandelker: But he's been really shitty.

18:03Ronnie Karam: and yeah it's like it's your job kind of had me because he was like a jehovah's witness like he grew up as a jehovah's witness and he left the church and part of me is just so thankful that he's not going to be knocking on my door because listen as christians we had to do that as kids too like my dad made us do that and it was horrifying and then whenever somebody did it to me i was like this is how people feel when we do it and i have to leave i have i have to leave the church so like i kind of got him in that and i was also so thankful that no one was loitering at my house so he kind of had me in that way but then um he lost me yeah yeah i mean hand the man some pamphlets

18:39Ben Mandelker: because like i'm sick of listening to him yeah uh yeah i'm done with hugo as well so he goes he's trying to get fraser to basically fix this and fraser is like he's like well you know he's not himself because he's been told by captain that he can't assimilate with guests but i know him he's got an amazing heart and tonight he was an idiot also not only does he have an amazing heart he also has very black lungs I'm very concerned about him but I also know that there are reasons for that

19:09Ronnie Karam: he has an amazing heart his kidneys are on crutches but his heart's doing great the liver looks a bit like

19:18Ben Mandelker: Swiss cheese probably smells like that too

19:21Ronnie Karam: he actually should take some piss and put it in his own body because his own is coming out as refined oil it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

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21:26Ben Mandelker: Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the series follows a group of glamorous, deeply entangled high school seniors drawn into a life of wealth, beauty, parties, and excess. At its center is Brett, whose reality begins to unravel when the arrival of a new student coincides with a series of mysterious murders.

21:44Ronnie Karam: FX's The Shards, now streaming on Hulu.

21:49Ben Mandelker: So then Hugo and Fraser go to Kyle who's sitting on the sofa and Kyle's like, I'm sorry, by the way, I'm fucking sorry, man. The idea of hurting you, the idea of being incorrect and how I'm saying things. And now Fraser's being conciliatory. He's like, it happens. He's like, I know it does, but that's hitting me to pieces. I'm like, sorry, bro. You just did this five seconds ago. I don't know. I just don't have any patience for this. You're

22:14Ronnie Karam: too old to do this or at least your faces yeah i um yeah the drunken crying is not my favorite with him but you like also like i don't know but like you also like attacked your friend

22:26Ben Mandelker: in front of everyone and now he has to come and he has to console you because you feel bad about how you acted i'm sorry like if you he's sitting here saying he feels so good up yeah he really is And like, he's sitting here acting. He's like, I can't talk about this anymore, Netflix. But like, you're sitting here talking about how you feel bad about Fraser, but you don't actually get up and do anything and go over to him and apologize. He has to come over to you. I'm sorry. Like, this guy's a dipshit. It's official.

22:57Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And Fraser's like, you're a beautiful, beautiful human being. I love you, man. I love you, man. So then it's time to go back to the yacht. Jess and Barbara are making out more, which also I'm kind of sick of. Like, great, you're happy. Okay, go be happy behind closed doors. You know, everyone's always telling gay people, do what you want in your own bedroom, but I don't want to hear about it. Well, you know, I feel that, well, I guess they are gay, so I shouldn't say that. But I feel that way with people who are in, like, love. You know, like, I'm so glad you guys are in love. Save it for Facebook.

23:29Ronnie Karam: You know what I mean? Save it for your yearly, oh my God, I married my best friend. Save it for that post, because, like, I'm literally sick of it. I'm busy.

23:38Ben Mandelker: I'm just sick of, honestly, below deck, like, ogling at all these people making out. Like, we get it. They're making out. I just, it's too much. It's too much. Like, I want to focus on the work.

23:51Ronnie Karam: Don't make out next to me in a car.

23:53Ben Mandelker: It's just like, we're supposed to care about this. Like, look at this crew. They're so messy. They're all making out with each other. And I'm like, that's fine. I'll take some of that. But, like, do we have to center it on this show? Like, let's center the Windex. Let's center the bad work ethic. Let's send her like the rags and and like the wiping down the toilets. Like, that's what I'm here for. Yeah, me too. I'm not here to watch maids make out, especially like right next to me.

24:18Ronnie Karam: I mean, we can say a lot about Kyle, but at least he's fucking someone in the bathroom. Like, that's a person with manners.

24:29Ben Mandelker: You're right. You're right.

24:31Ronnie Karam: You're right. You're right. Right. So then Rainbow starts making out with Damo, which I don't know why anybody would make out with Damo, because that guy's nasty. And she does. And she's like, if you want to know how Damo kisses, make out with the fish. Because, you know, it's like really wet. Yeah, make out with the fish. So, yeah.

24:52Ben Mandelker: And then Kyle. Does she like it? You know, she's horny. She's horny. She's had a tough season. She's all horned up. and then speaking of horny kyle and selen so now even though they've been both shitty to each other they also have isolated everyone around them so they just have each other to sleep with now so that's what they're gonna do kyle's like can we just fuck just shut up and um but they are gonna

25:18Ronnie Karam: go ultimately and have sex yeah so hugo is like is it a problem with jess and barbara and selen goes oh well you know you fucked with me you messed up with me you know and fraser says well when you left stilly to go with just with it without telling him and like trying to figure out selaine's love rhombus or whatever we're calling it and kyle's like uh basically they're calling her out for jumping from person to person and hurting everyone's feelings and then going back to the original one which is kyle and but also she's acting mad at like jess she's like oh my

25:56Ben Mandelker: I'm so mad at Jess because you mess with me and then you just leave me and you just go to Barbara? And he's like, but yes, but you did that with Stilly for Jess. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not about you, no, it's not about you. So they basically bust her. Busted. So then they get back to the yacht and Jess asks Rainbow if she can have Barbara over in the cabin and then Rainbow goes to sleep in the crew mess and then Kyle and Selene go to sleep in the guest cabin and it's another night of the crew that comes to an end.

26:35Ronnie Karam: Yes, and now it's 32 hours until Charta the next morning. And Jess is like, what did you do last night that I don't know of, Rainpeel? And she's like, oh my god, I made out with Damo in the back of an Uber. It was amazing. I've already sent my sister a closed fist in the mail and said stay the fuck away from my man bitch or you're getting a piece of this

27:02Ben Mandelker: okay you know the last thing I wanted was like for Damo to show up and be like come into bed with me and I'd be like no cause your bed is a gross place like I don't wanna be there oh my god I love being in a showmance so then Kyle calls his mom cause it's like he always has to call his mom or his grandma for them to say don't worry you're still a good little boy so she's like but i love that they all know his they all have his

27:27Ronnie Karam: immediately off the bat as you got drunk and acted like a goddamn fucking idiot again hey cow

27:35Ben Mandelker: i've not really done anything i just drank they're all fucking winding me up about drinking and i did have a lot to drink last night so that did happen ah let me get it say you're drinking

27:45Ronnie Karam: too much saying stuff that you shouldn't be saying did you fuck another goat in the stables again there was a girl in the bathroom well at least you're growing you're growing at least the goat was safe this time the McGillicuddy's are still very upset with you mom I can't take it from you too

28:04Ben Mandelker: so then we see him his arms crossed in his interview again and he's like sort of like doing the thing where he's scratching his nose the side of his nose with his thumb and looking down at like the floor and he's like well as much as my night ended great I'm definitely not happy with how I've been in recently and I really thought I was better than this, but I'm not. So I really do need to change and I'll change by changing brands of scotch. That's what I'll do. I think with a different brand, I'll be better. That's it.

28:34Ronnie Karam: So Damo sees Rainbow and he's like, where'd you sleep last night? He's like, please stop doing the fish thing. You know, more fish face. I knew I should have gone on an Easter egg hunt and looked for my little rain beer.

28:51Ben Mandelker: So then, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Big news. The wing station controller will be delivered shortly to figure out the parts here.

29:03Ronnie Karam: Captain, Captain Marina. Captain, Captain Marina. Hi, this is Marina Attendant. Your wing controller's on the way, stud. Adventure. All right, the part's here. If it works, this guy here is going to be a happy little Vegemite. All right?

29:22Ben Mandelker: Doesn't really make sense because Vegemite is just like a spread you put on toast. So it's weird to assign any sort of emotional state to that Vegemite. But I did it because I'm on a verbal adventure. But I haven't seen it yet. The part could be wrong. It might not be programmed properly. It might be a shark. Who knows what it is? But if that happens, we've got much bigger problems ahead of us. We can't run a charter season from the dock, especially if we've installed a shark onto our yacht.

29:52Ronnie Karam: The shark. So now Zudeck wash up time. And he goes like, wow, my guy, Damo. I had front seats to your makeout session in the car. Wow. Wow. Great times. And Damo's like, did it look as bad as I remember it feeling? I just don't really think anyone's a bad kisser. I just think that sometimes two people don't have the same styles. You know what I mean? I like to really get my lips wet. And then I like to chill them a bit, like the rim of a martini glass, you know, and just like kind of ice them up. I like a cold, then I point my tongue kind of like a stick. And I like to wetly poke the other person's face.

30:33Ronnie Karam: Not everyone's really into that.

30:36Ben Mandelker: Hugo's like, yeah. And he's like, but the good part is my Brazilian girlfriend taught me how to kiss. So I've always taken that with me. And like, I don't remember if they gave him a hot, but I feel like they did. Rainbow said he kissed like a fish.

30:53Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And it seems like he knows it because he actually does. I was just kind of kidding about his lines that he said. But now that I look at it, there's someone in the world that likes the pointy, tonguey, windmillie swish, swish, swish, swish. like it's fucking horrible and somebody's got to like the fish as well so he knows he kisses like

31:12Ben Mandelker: that i guess so but uh then they start talking about uh well i'm sorry but he blames it on his

31:20Ronnie Karam: brazil he says he has a brazilian girlfriend that taught him to kiss like that but i've kissed plenty of brazilian people and they do not kiss like they're actually very good kissers i mean in my in my experience have i just experienced it wrong did i miss the chilled tongue poking me in

31:36Ben Mandelker: the face maybe you like a fish kiss i don't know i don't think i don't think that demo realizes that he's the fish i think he's just saying you think he's saying that she's and i think she's that yeah i think he's actually bragging he's like i was taught by a brazilian how to kiss so that's like like i know i think he's sort of saying like yeah i've always taken that with me because i learned

31:58Ronnie Karam: from from a brazilian you know oh so some people kiss like fish and some people don't but he's saying that she's the one that kisses like a fish i think that's the implication because i think he definitely got like some sort of on that one well they definitely you could tell it was a bad kiss as they were kissing because it was uncomfortable to watch you know it really was like oh that looks

32:17Ben Mandelker: like a cold kiss like literally cold it was yeah it didn't look good um so then they talk about stilly and so so sleeping and that's fun and then it's the morning and then like later on it's like 10 30 a.m. and like the the guests will be arriving in two hours and selene is just eating cereal and rainbow is now just she's given up trying to be like a productive co-worker she's now just like a tattletaler so she's like um she goes up to fraser and she's like hey uh fraser uh did you tell selene she could have her breakfast break early he's like no she's having breakfast yeah she's sitting in the crew mass eating a bowl of cereal i think it was special okay it could have in cornflakes.

32:58Ben Mandelker: I don't know. I will do more reporting later. Did you say she could eat cornflakes? Because is there a cornflakes exception? She's eating cornflakes. I'm actually pretty sure it's cornflakes. And she's chatting with Barbara, too, who's folding clothes. Yeah, all sorts of clothes. Big clothes, little clothes. I can paint the whole picture for you, Frasier. He's like, okay, thank you. It's another day in paradise. I will absolutely go reprimand her right now. Watch, everyone. Watch and learn. You're about to get Frasier. Solaine, we're not doing breakfast break. oh wow that was rough rough on her do you need a tissue wipe away the tears from that vulgar lashing you just received from me and rainbow's like fuck fuck so lame bro

33:39Ronnie Karam: the worst type of person the worst type of person fiber in the morning stupid bitch watching rainbow just incrementally get more angry is so hilarious because like really for selene selene i don't think anybody's gonna give selene like worker of the year but like we've seen selene improve like she's learned how to do things so that it's the worst that she's eating a bullet not saying that her eating the cereal is right or anything it's just funny watching rainbow get so mad she's just pushed to the point now where she's just like i saw that girl put something on a hanger put it on the thing when she was supposed to be holding an eye fraser just get rid of that bitch before i beat her she hates she hates her so much like just so much

34:27Ben Mandelker: um so i i personally love rainbow being at this point of just being just totally infuriated me too this is how i need yeah like i don't normally love someone who's just so tattly but i also feel like she's earned it she's earned the tattles she's had to deal with Solane for so long. So now the crew, the nameless crew workers are putting on this, they're working on this control station. Let's see if this pot works. And then Jess is talking to Solane because Solane wants to talk with Jess to clear the air finally. So Solane's like, so I think it is time to talk. Like we had like something and like now you're like, okay it's just and like you like you take a Barbara on a date, and like at the same night, you sleep with her in the bed, you sleep with Barbara in the bed, and it was not good, it was not fair for me and for Barbara.

35:25Ronnie Karam: Well, maybe I was just embarrassed about the consequences of my actions. I was like, well, this is why you tried to hide me? She goes, well, I didn't want to make it a big thing, and for me to avoid it, I think it was just easier to avoid it. So I didn't avoid you intentionally, I avoided you on purpose. Does that make any sense? So you're like a coward? You're a coward, huh? She doesn't owe you a deep relationship talk, Celine. I'm sorry. You've set up a whole thing where you're going to make out with everybody and have no strings with anybody. And if anybody gets upset with you, you say, well, but this is love.

36:06Ronnie Karam: This is how I do. So this is just me. And then the second it happens to you, you act like Christ on a cross. Okay? Sorry. nobody's gonna feel for you love island sorry no one no one especially when you were just gonna use that girl and throw her away anyway i mean give me a break you had one conversation with your brother where you're like oh my god i'm never into girl but this is girl so maybe i do girl like you're doing your like whole like oh i'm experimenting with a girl for five seconds before i dump her and go fuck stilly again like shut up solane and i really like solane but i'm going to feel for you either.

36:41Ronnie Karam: This whole crew is full of people that I actually like. I kind of like everybody on the show, but I'm not going to feel sorry for them because our actions are all so stupid. It's the team that wants to sit there and cry about their consequences. Sorry. Sorry.

36:56Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I'm over it, really. So meanwhile, Kerry is trying out the new machinery and, all right, all right, put us in, put us in, put us in, put us in, starboard, starboard, put us in, put us in, put us in, put us in, star stern starboard star bow bow bow of sorts uh see a see okay and uh that chart works it works all right good job everyone

37:23Ronnie Karam: position position two feet away two feet and we're gonna die we're gonna die we're gonna die we're right there we're almost gonna die everybody we did it we did it also my son half parallel parked. He half parallel parked. He'll get there. I believe in him. Hold on, let me get to my wife. Wife, wife, Kerry. Wife, wife, Kerry. Hi. Hi, honey. You doing alright? I really don't care. I don't have time. I just got the boat out of the dock. Please have our son put the keys in the ball. Remind him to put the keys in the ball. Alright, I'll see you in six months. Alright,

37:59Ben Mandelker: chop chop everyone. Time for one of these deranged preference meetings where we split up half the crew into different rooms and talk about it. So, Tata Seven. Our primary guest is called Emily. She's a renowned dentist in San Francisco. You may be familiar with her dental practice called If You're Going to San Francisco, Get Your Teeth Cleaned with Some Flowers in Your Hair. So, she'll be joined with It's a very long dental practice, but apparently does very well for her.

38:27Ronnie Karam: She's great with teeth. She's terrible with brevity and titles.

38:31Ben Mandelker: she comes up with very terrible puns on the fly that she decides to make her company brand i don't

38:37Ronnie Karam: know why she doesn't give it very long puns extremely long puns not really puns just sort of she inserts teeth into an established song all right she'll be joined by eric her husband a semi-retired tech guru, whatever that means. Alright, now, the theme of the night one should be like Kentucky Derby because dentists and semi-retired tech gurus love fake horse races that mean nothing.

39:13Ben Mandelker: Now, one thing you should know, because they had a choice between going to the Kentucky Derby or going to a yacht, so they decided they'd go to the yacht and recreate the Kentucky Derby, so here we are having a stupid theme for stupid people. Harry's like actually I like the Kentucky Derby theme I just want to say Ben commentary on the side I do enjoy a Kentucky Derby theme it's like better than some of the other bullshit they pull up anyway so Carrie's like well we leave here at one o 'clock and go straight to the sculpture park and the next morning we're actually going to anchor in St. Botts at Med Moor okay it's going to be very stressful for me more than the bridge can you believe it more than the bridge yes because it's Med Moor and it's where you put two anchors down and you have to back in the dock and you put the lines across that's just

40:00Ronnie Karam: med more living med more med more action med more action listen we put one anchor down anyone on this boat could die we put two anchors down the entire world could end do you understand if i don't get people calling we could all be dead all of us dead all right it's fine for now It's fine for now.

40:23Ben Mandelker: It's like the old song goes, med more money, med more problems.

40:35Ronnie Karam: But we don't have any ground lines or anything. It's just anchors for us. Is that how we're going to? It's just anchors. We could all die. That would be the consequences of our actions. Right.

40:49Ben Mandelker: Right. you know i held out all season to not not to not go to medmore and saint bart's there's many obstacles to get in there we cannot balls this up all right a lot of obstacles for instance you have to go through an actual labyrinth the yacht must go through a labyrinth you must you will be plagued by visions of david bowie as you sell your yacht down the labyrinth

41:18Ronnie Karam: we're going to see a kind of creepy, overly skinny man in a Rod Stewart wig with a crystal ball.

41:24Ben Mandelker: All right? There will be a bog of eternal stench and we're going to try to avoid that. Guests do not like eternal stench. At one point, we'll all have some sort of fantasy moment where we'll pretend we're at some masquerade ball with that strange Rod Stewart man. And then we'll wake up with a small creature that's carrying lots of things on its back. one thing we don't want, bowling it up.

41:49Ronnie Karam: One thing we do want, vegemiting it up. All right? We're all on the same page? Right.

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43:50Ronnie Karam: All right. And then the next morning, the guests get off, hopefully, literally. And then they come, the guests arrive. All right. So one more thing that's important to know. Emily, she just finished chemo treatment, everybody. And they're like, oh, God. and then Fraser in his meeting is like, and she's about to receive a mastectomy upon her return. So this trip is all about her. Do we all understand? Party. Mastectomy party. Are we all there?

44:17Ben Mandelker: Right. So now Jess tells a story about how her, she was really close to her grandparents and she lost them both to cancer and that this was, it was really rough on her and this is dredging up a lot of emotions for her. Yeah, cancer is a real dick.

44:35Ronnie Karam: my god in a show where we like to make lots of jokes i think everybody has been touched by cancer in some way and don't love it i don't think anybody's got a great experience there you know no fuck you cancer just if we haven't said it enough recently fuck off so uh 13.5 hours until charter solane and kyle making out in the laundry

45:02Ben Mandelker: i know it's not going anywhere with me and solene it's past the post point of emotion now it just needs to be it just it just it just needs that must be met like was it did it was it ever in a real place of emotion i mean i know you got sullen there for a moment but like this was never a real

45:18Ronnie Karam: relationship let's be honest okay it's also sad how happy kyle is just being the only choice left you know it's like well she's gotten desperate enough to come back to me i'll take it i'll take

45:30Ben Mandelker: it demo may have been the the final piece of of crispy tuna hors d 'oeuvre that was passed around but kyle is the tray kyle's just the oily tray it's just the sad tray and maybe some doilies so selene says we live for what what do we live pleasure we live pleasure this is why we live

45:53Ronnie Karam: pleasure. You're going to die unhappy. I'm telling you that right now.

45:59Ben Mandelker: So now everyone goes to bed. Now it's the next morning and Kerry does his inspections, makes sure everything looks good. And then the guests arrive. It's 12.04pm. In case you thought they arrived at noon. I had to break it to everyone. They arrived four minutes late for their charter. Oh my goodness. That's four minutes. They'll never get back on the high seas. I'm sorry.

46:21Ronnie Karam: I'm semi retired. Only one for me. I played semi-golf this morning. Okay? Not my ass.

46:32Ben Mandelker: You know what? Sorry, we just had a very biting discussion before. Sorry, you're just going to hear a lot of these puns all weekend long. Okay, everyone get ready.

46:41Ronnie Karam: Take all the lines off. Take all the lines off. Copy that. All lines are off. Bridge, bridge. Your stern is well clear of the dolphin. Clear of the dolphin. All right? Out of the slip. Out of the slip. Out of the slip. distance to come to head. 40 meters. The consequences of my actions. 40 meters. Oh, we're almost clearing the bridge. We're almost clearing the bridge. The steering is now clear of the bridge. And oh! We're going to crash into the consequences of my actions.

47:10Ronnie Karam: Smoking a cigarette there. That was the hottest yacht removal I've done in a long time.

47:17Ben Mandelker: Nailed it! Yeah, everything's fine. so the guests are hanging out Emily who is the cancer survivor she is talking about how she just had to finish six months of chemo and they're just like complimenting her and saying you know and she's saying yeah it was really scary and her friend is saying you know it's blessings that you get to survive this and you know you're feeling your pain and you're entitled to feel your own pain even though it isn't a death sentence etc so they are

47:45Ronnie Karam: first of all first of all the guest the main lady is so sweet. She talks a little bit. As the charter goes on, she reminds me of the drunk lady that got kicked off. She's more well-behaved, but she has kind of the same look and the same kind of vocal pattern as that lady. She's like, yeah, that was really tough. That was really scary. Her friend's like, let me tell you this. You are a survivor. You are entitled to your pain, and I want you to feel your pain. Do you understand me? Because that is your right. Then their friend goes, do you snarkle like is this other guest just always going on in platitudes where she's like you listen to me this morning is the best morning you're ever gonna see you get up and you tell the son I fucking love you son and I'm grateful to see you you guys think we can get some breakfast around here I'm really into bagels I was trying gluten free for a while but really didn't work out for me they just don't make it taste like real bread can I just Eliza can I just please

48:49Ben Mandelker: I'm trying to do a pep talk for the cameras, okay? And first of all, I'm scared of fish, okay? I want nothing to do with them. Where were we? It just left. The historical.

49:01Ronnie Karam: Okay, so then Carrie's like, all right, all right, watch the chain, watch the chain, let me know how it's doing. Do you understand me, girl on the boat? All right, now, what are you seeing up there? Can I get an update? I need a chain up, where's my chain update? Where's my goddamn chain update?

49:15Ben Mandelker: Jester's like, oh, yes, the chain looks good, Cap. The chain looks good. And so do the consequences of my actions.

49:28Ronnie Karam: All right, well, once you've locked down the chain, come see me in the wheelhouse, please. So she comes up and he's like, all right. On the anchor, you give me information when it's going out, but when it's out, you're waiting way too long between telling me anything. All right, where's the dolphin? I need to know about the dolphin. dolphin updates what does it look like i'm doing up here twiddling my goddamn vegemite

49:51Ben Mandelker: i thought it was marmite and that's my bad i should have looked at the label these are the consequences of my actions all right all right just go just big catch your head in the game okay and remember once you lock down that chain just come in oh i already told you come in the wheel house you're in the wheelhouse oh that's funny anyway just you know keep your head in the game all right like i was when i just recited what i was talking about keep your head in the game

50:16Ronnie Karam: copy sorry about that so um she's upset like she she's visually upset and so damon notices her and she's like hey damon i'm going to get the fins along and he doesn't hear her and she's like okay fuck it whatever he's like what the hell you all right there she storms off yeah she's upset

50:40Ben Mandelker: upstairs or somewhere else, Hugo, well, Hugo finds Jess. He's like, hey, are you all right? Because if you're not doing well, I'm going to pass you off to Fraser. She's like, yes, I'm fine. Oh, thank God. I was afraid I'd have to have a tough conversation. Okay, let's have a chat. Okay, if you're upset about something, you don't have to talk about it. That's fine. In fact, I'm going to encourage you to not talk about it. In fact, if you're really upset, how about we just go our separate ways? Okay, thank you. She's like, well, Captain spoke to me about the anchor drop and stuff and just some shit.

51:07Ben Mandelker: And it was just frustrating for me. I understand that. I'm in my own head. It's just been a long fucking season.

51:17Ronnie Karam: To be honest, I'm concerned about Jess's performance. I get that something's distracting her and it doesn't help that she's having all these relationships going on and it's starting to bleed into work. And I'm just worried. I'm worried about where this is going to go. Penises, vaginas, things are just flying in the air. What is a Hugo to do?

51:37Ben Mandelker: I, you know, they're, they're trying to set up this thing. This may be kind of a callous take and maybe it's, I don't know, maybe it's not a, I don't know, whatever, but I'm going to say it anyway. Cause this is my thought when I watched it, there's, they're, they're trying to set it up. Like, like Jess is almost having this like noble deep thing where like someone with cancer is on board and it's triggering her and reminding her of her grandparents, which may all be very true. And like, I would never take that away. like the trauma of something like that but honestly i actually really think what it comes down to is that selaine sat her down i was like you've been shit you were shitty to me and you made me feel bad and i think that jess is like i think that's really what's motivating this i feel like the show is trying to make it seem like it's actually something like deeper and more noble and sad or more linked to trauma and i think that's probably there but like i think ultimately jess is just like oh i made someone mad and like she doesn't i think she likes to just do her thing I think she's just the consequences of my actions.

52:36Ben Mandelker: I think that's what it is. I think it is too.

52:39Ronnie Karam: I mean, that is my feeling. I made it kind of a comment in the beginning of the recap, like using that as an excuse. And that is kind of callous because I'm glad you said it because I was sitting here feeling like guilty for saying that in the beginning, which is rare for me. I usually don't feel guilty. But yeah, I mean, I think that going through that with your family is upsetting. I've been through it with my own grandmother and my aunt and stuff, you know, so I get it. But also, yeah, she just got told off for being an asshole to somebody and hurting their feelings. And then that was followed up by having the captain upset with her.

53:14Ronnie Karam: And so it's a couple of things. And I think sometimes it's easier to be like, well, I'm crying for this other reason. I'm not really crying because, you know, I'm fucking up at work and I'm hurting everyone's feelings. I'm crying, you know, I'm going to use this other thing. And it's not like she can't be sad over the grandma, but it's also like, you know, I don't know. It's kind of like just take responsibility for what you did and apologize and move forward, you know?

53:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I just had that like nagging feeling like I know like you're sad and like this does remind you of your grandparents. But I feel like the real reason why your head is like in the clouds is because you're probably distracted because you're like, wow, Celine hates me and I'm a fuck up. And now I just fucked up this anchor thing. And then she just spiraled from there, especially because she probably thought that like when she finally started, like truly now getting with Barbara, she felt like I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the mature thing and that and I fixed it all. And Celine's like, no, you actually still hurt me and you did not fix it all.

54:10Ben Mandelker: So that's my thing. I felt like that was my my my reaction to her emotional state on TV. Yeah, me too.

54:19Ronnie Karam: So then Anthony announces, lunch, we have fish tacos and chicken tacos. And they're like, oh my God, delicious. So now Damo and Jess are talking. And she's like, listen, before I turn this coffee machine on, I'm sorry about earlier. It had nothing to do with you. It's just that the captain called me to the bridge and he was talking about how I shouldn't be making out with people that I'm not with and sleeping with Barbara with him in the room. I'm sorry, wait. I'm mixing up my consequences.

54:47Ben Mandelker: He kept on saying something that vegetables might do And I was like, what might they do? And he said, well, Vegemite And I said, what? Vegemite what? He just kept on saying Vegemite I was like, finish your sentence He's like, I did finish the sentence I was like, is this some strange punishment for the consequences of my actions? What might the veggie do?

55:05Ronnie Karam: And then I'm just bothered And it's just one of those days So now Fraser is cleaning up lunch

55:12Ben Mandelker: Just one of those days Take it personal Can you please?

55:18Ronnie Karam: Oh, Fraser's cleaning and, well, the guests go out for snorkeling. And he's like, Celine, you need to do all the day hits. Make sure the bar's perfect. The upper pantry's perfect. Ready for service later. The bins need to be changed. So change those. I'm going on my break. Goodbye. Perfect. Thank you, honey. Good break. Always me for toilet. Always me. I guess it is me. It is day head, night head, in between head, nap head. All head me. All head me, I suppose. I'm not a children.

55:45Ben Mandelker: so then immediately rainbow goes and takes a smoking break with kyle and they're like in the corner by smoking right by the master bedroom and i'm like is that like the smartest place to do that and uh then of course rainbow sees them and he's like oh you're in trouble now and she's like oh i'm in big trouble i am dead so then rainbow's like um fraser fraser rainbow i would like to talk to you for a second so she she goes like off to his room and she's like um can i just like ask you something really quickly. I'm just double checking. Did you give Soso a sickie beret? Just gonna check. Just like out of the blue, just wondering.

56:23Ben Mandelker: No. Oh, because she's on one right now. Isn't that funny?

56:28Ronnie Karam: Where is she? Where? Where is she doing this?

56:31Ben Mandelker: Next to the master. If you want to go talk to her, I guess you could do that. I don't know. Yeah, she definitely has a cigarette over there.

56:39Ronnie Karam: Maybe it's on Blake. Maybe it's going to come. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is why he's going to do blah, blah, blah. but in British accent. And he's like, do your work. When you have your break, you can smoke, okay? Do your work first at least. She goes, but I was just like, leave there. He goes, just do your work. She goes, but I run to cigarettes and I... No, because Rainbow is doing everything, you know? I mean, you've got day heads. Do the day heads.

57:03Ben Mandelker: Day head bar, pantries. And the quick fact, okay? You've got a whole hour of break time, okay? She's like, okay, okay. Well, if I see Rainbow do something, I want to face, oh, she's a big bitch, bigger than I thought. Oh, wow.

57:17Ronnie Karam: That's why you should at least try to be nice to your superiors, okay? So now it's first day of charter, 4.15 p.m. People are sculpturing. They're under a sculpture park. And Kyle's telling Hugo about the smoke break and getting in trouble, her getting in trouble. And Rainbow being a tattletale, basically. So then Josh radios to St. David that they're coming back, and Rainbow and Selene have drinks and towels and all that good stuff. Guys, guys, we've got a rule to say both. All right, we've got to get this dinner in double time. That's right. Time step, time step, double time, triple time, triple time step.

57:59Ronnie Karam: We're in 40 seconds straight. We're in the money. We're in the money. Oh, my God, I'm going so fast. I'm going to lose my knees. We're in the money. Shuffle off the buffalo. Shuffle off the buffalo. Wings. wings got him exhausted cheese and crackers

58:15Ben Mandelker: so then the guests come back on board and then Angela and Emily want to do a Titanic moment but then Emily's hat flies away and Emily's like well it's a sign of our trip because I'm losing my tits five days after this trip they're gone but anyway let's go let's do this okay I'm the king of the titties wow that was a mouthful saying that line dentist joke sorry just can't help myself sometimes

58:40Ronnie Karam: So now we're getting set up for the Derby theme. All right, prep the anchor, prep the anchor. Are we prepping two? Are we prepping one? Are we going to cross the anchors? Are we going to soak to soleil this bitch? All right, everybody, I'm just getting myself warmed up over here. More, more, more boss, more boss.

59:02Ben Mandelker: Copy, copy, prepping the anchor now. Nothing could possibly go wrong. My head is in the game. What the fuck's going on here? Red on deck. Red on deck. Sorry, the anchor dropped. I'm pulling it up now. Oh dear, I can't believe the anchor dropped. It is the consequences of my actions. For consequences sake.

59:24Ronnie Karam: God damn consequences.

59:27Ben Mandelker: Oh, fuck's sake. Just breathe. Do as that one country singer did and say, just breathe.

59:34Ronnie Karam: Alright, what's the anchor doing? Just hang in there like a bowl, like a nut in a sack that's bolted up? Are we pulling this up right now?

59:42Ben Mandelker: I am pulling it up. The anchor is clear of the water. Clear. Prepping the anchor. Oh, my head's not here, bro. My head is not here. Don't stress, bro.

59:53Ronnie Karam: Don't stress. If you can't get the anchor proper, it's Fraser's fault. She's like, but my head's not here, bro. All right, three shekels in the water, please. Three. Where's the three? Where's my call for three?

1:00:05Ben Mandelker: 65 shekels in the water. Oh, no, I messed up again. Pulling it up, pulling it up. Okay, we're back to foreshackles. Foreshackles in the water.

1:00:15Ronnie Karam: All right, that's it. I'm doing something I don't normally have to do. I'm going down there and I'm going to talk to this little lady in person. Hello, little lady. Have you noticed that I'm covered in ball sack right now? Have you? Look at my face. There's a nut sack and two balls punching me in the forehead, all right? Because you balled it up. You balled it up.

1:00:35Ben Mandelker: Yes, well, so what happened earlier was the brake wasn't untight enough, so she just dropped as soon as I got rid of the winch. It's very clear what happened.

1:00:45Ronnie Karam: Oh, well, that's a mistake we can't make again. I mean, wow, how are you going to more boss today?

1:00:52Ben Mandelker: Oh, no, more consequences, more actions. It never ends. Oh, God.

1:00:58Ronnie Karam: So he's pissed, but he can see that she's upset. So he's like, all right, now, Now, while everybody's dressing like inflatable horses, I'd like to have a very serious conversation. Shall I call you by your stage name, Randy's Donut Underwear? All right. Now, you all right. You all right, kid. I'm here to make you feel better. Hold on. Let me cock one eye and remind you that you've balled it up. All right. Imagine that you're talking to a big nutsack that's been thrown up against a window. All right. Go ahead.

1:01:34Ben Mandelker: I just think the whole guest of the chemo thing, I just, it's hitting home a little bit. I don't think my head's been there. It's clearly showing like, I don't know, like especially on deck, you can see it. Oh.

1:01:45Ronnie Karam: Come here, come here, come here. Let me hug you. All right, God, you're bony. Jeez, what do you do, pull-ups? Those are some muscles on you. God, it feels like I'm holding dragon wings. You're extremely strong, extremely strong. All right, now go take some time for yourself for it. Go to your room. If you need me, I'm always here. I'd prefer you didn't talk to me, but if you need to, I'm here. All right?

1:02:10Ben Mandelker: And here, to make you smile, here's some Vegemite. Mite what? Why do you torture me this way?

1:02:18Ronnie Karam: Goddamn. How is Vegemite not caught on everywhere? That's my question. Let me tell you who the real failure is here today, Jess, besides you. I mean, I'll feel for you for a second, but you're a failure. But you know the biggest failure here, Vegemite. I mean, really, can we get spread further? Jeez.

1:02:37Ben Mandelker: I don't know what's going on with Jess completely. All I do know is that whatever it is, it's kind of boring. But there's something going on internally, and it's a very important part of my job, not just the crew's physical safety, but their health and their mental health too. And I just want them to know that I'm there for them, especially if they want to talk about it in Turkish. Still taking the lessons, everyone.

1:03:00Ronnie Karam: yeah he's very much like i'm a father and that's what i am on this boat a father what's wrong with you you said go to bed go to bed all right time the lights off and sit with yourself and think

1:03:15Ben Mandelker: about what you've done and how you almost killed us all so jess talks again about the cancer and how it really affects her and like how actually her when she was younger her grandparents managed a yacht club and they grew up on boats because the grandparents and really it was because of her grandfather that she got into yachting and so this is why she's really upset so she's crying and barbara checks in on her and she's like i am fine now so the guests get ready and they are dancing around in inflatable horses and um uh you know it's because kentucky debris and all that fun

1:03:53Ronnie Karam: stuff it's disturbing just yes i just want to make you make sure you're all right and to tell you one thing that i've learned and that is dishradia aglamic right what does that mean cry outside all right i don't want to see your face anymore it's very smudgy please go do something

1:04:13Ben Mandelker: uh i would like to add to the episode please i'd like to just tell america that my dad passed with a heart attack so it was like something brutal so you know he didn't suffer because it happened like that fast and like with cancer it's a hard fight it's a battle and i definitely want to make everything special for emily and every meal i'm making for her i wanted to remember it's a celebration of life and afterwards i'm going to invite her down to galley to hold tea towel and

1:04:37Ronnie Karam: throw it at the refrigerator and to really show you how uh meaningful this is all to me i want to do it in where you can see my Instagram wall. Here I am in a speedo peating a giraffe who's eating flauta which is roll taco.

1:04:55Ben Mandelker: And now to celebrate all of this, here is a steak with black cherry sauce. It's another joke.

1:05:03Ronnie Karam: So, Fraser is helping with service and he announces the cherry sauce on the steak which sounds weird, but you know, you go. And then Hugo is figuring out his entertainment, which is the horse race. They did

1:05:22Ben Mandelker: pre-Silly Race horse stuff, but they have a big race coming up.

1:05:26Ronnie Karam: It's really funny watching them all dress like inflatable horse. I mean, it's just so ridiculous. And then it turns into this big dramatic scene. He's like, okay, what is it the three of us race? You and Jess, and Rayma goes, you guys can have Celine. And he goes, wow, you really hate her, huh? She's like, no, I don't hate her at all. Why would you say that? He goes, yeah, right, bullshit. You're a terrible liar. And she's like, 0 % of me has any hate in my body for any stupid bitch that won't do her work.

1:05:59Ben Mandelker: I'm 11. Rainbow literally just was on TV saying, she is the worst kind of person. She is the worst. She is the worst person you could ever imagine. She is terrible. I don't have any part of me that has any hate. I'm like, okay, Rainbow. You chatteled on yourself.

1:06:14Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And Hugo's like, okay, no comment then. And she's like, Hugo's making statements about me, Fraser. She's like, Fraser, Fraser, Rainbow, Fraser. I'm right here, darling. Well, still, I want to go by protocol because I'm not a hateful person. I'm being accused of hating Solene, and I don't like her at all, but I don't like bullshit like that. And he's like, but I love the drama. It's so fun. She goes, oh, what are you, trying to start shit, bro? stay in your own lane Hugo

1:06:42Ben Mandelker: Hugo's like oh fucking hell you're a fucking joke what'd you call me? I said you're a fucking joke me? I don't like when people bullshit right? Don't lie to my face. Rainbow and Selene have a really fucked up relationship. There's all this cattiness and jealousy and they're always at each other's backs and also this affects the whole crew we feel it. We get dragged into it. Oh I'm team Selene. Oh I'm team Rainbow. Fucking grow up or how about you fucking grow up and stay out of the interiors like bullshit and like stop like making this when he says oh don't lie to my face don't put her in a position where she has to lie to her face because you're making her like have to say that she hates another crew member and that's divisive

1:07:19Ronnie Karam: so yeah I agree with you I think Hugo's the asshole in this situation like it's not up to you to be policing people's words and how they're feeling this isn't even your fucking department sir so back off and you're the one starting fights like you're literally starting a fight right now and that's gonna affect the crew and then you're going to go talk about what a bitch rainbow is and that's going to affect the crew and also there is no i'm team rainbow and i'm team selene that's not happening unless it's something that's happening but no one is no one's acting like that so stopping a little shit starter hugo and then complaining that everybody's starting shit you are the biggest one to complain about drama but you've now started like three of them so yeah also no one even talks to rainbow like i don't think

1:07:59Ben Mandelker: even people pay attention to rainbow she's just there the people say hi to her and they just move on so it's not even like there isn't like a divided crew people like people are just doing their other things yeah so then fraser um is like uh well i'm sorry fraser's talking to rainbow and rainbow's like what was what was that comment from hugo he's like oh i thought it was all joking and he was like oh you really hate her and was like oh no i'm just saying and he was like oh this is so high school you don't hate her you don't hate her you don't hate her you're a fucking joke okay you don't come and guess what hugo doesn't come to our space is not shouting at my people.

1:08:34Ben Mandelker: That's, that's, you know what I'm going to, I'm going to walk right up to him and you know what I'm going to say to him? I'm going to say, listen, Hugo, excuse me, I'm trying to get by and he will learn from that experience. I'll tell you that much.

1:08:45Ronnie Karam: Read him for filth. Excuse me. Thank you. See? See? Just did it. So dessert served and, um, Anthony is like, tonight for the last course, we got boobies. Oh yes, in honor of breast cancer. For the last course we have profiterole with vanilla ice cream homemade chocolate sauce and homemade whipped cream with this skirt steak in the middle because my grandpa liked this and he also was a fan of potato so that's neither here nor there but he rode the horse too show the instagram show it show it it's sort of i mean this again i'm not trying to be insensitive but there is also

1:09:24Ben Mandelker: something about this episode this woman has like gone through hell she's had chemo and she's celebrating life like she made it to the other side she is so lucky and she's like here on this boat she's celebrating and everyone's just talking about the people that they've lost and i just feel like actually like i don't know i mean like everyone's gone through this it's traumatic i understand it's dredging up memories but i almost kind of feel like i want i i almost was like why can't they actually be more like let's celebrate your life than like dwell in like the the the losses that we have and i understand like you like it brings up stuff but there's part of me that's kind of i don't know i kind of felt like well so if you're really close with someone who's

1:10:04Ronnie Karam: ever gone gone through this it's so fucking difficult and let me tell you the last thing they want to hear hey guys i've been through chemo i've been through a hell of a time i've been dealing with cancer for a couple of years and i thought i was gonna die oh my grandma died of that i'm still upset my grandma passed my grandpa passed everyone's dead we get it we get It's like, no, this is my cancer. Like, I don't want to hear about your trauma. This is not about you. Okay? This is about me. This is about me. Stop all of your fucking trauma. Do your trauma on your own time. This is my cruise. Talk about my pain.

1:10:41Ronnie Karam: Get your grandmother out of here. Get her out. Wheel your dead grandmother out of my scene.

1:10:47Ben Mandelker: And it's almost like, and I know Jess and the chef are not talking to the guests about this stuff. but there's also an element of like this lady came on here to celebrate life and she's gonna turn on bravo and what's she gonna see all these people who are like oh yeah like it's like like can we celebrate this lady more like this is such an amazing thing for her but like i understand it's i'm trying to ride a line here of being like you know acknowledge that people you know are brought to places where they are thinking about loss and they're allowed to feel that way but i also i'm just like i kind of feel like it's overshadowing that this woman is actually like like she's like done something amazing right or she's gone through something so yeah and i come

1:11:29Ronnie Karam: out the other side i think they're just doing the reality show thing of like okay it's a cancer episode so everybody talk about people that you've known with cancer so they're just doing it you know they're just doing what they're told but i think it's put together kind of in a clunky way i agree with you yeah because i don't have cancer currently but i watch this and i'm like i'm getting offended for the lady with cancer too i'm like can the lady have her own moment okay this is not

1:11:52Ben Mandelker: about ever this is not about you yeah i think that's what it is it's like i'm trying to like like i'm not trying to dismiss anyone's stories and like obviously anthony's not even talking about cancer i'm not trying to dismiss these stories these are important life-shaping things but i'm also kind of like i don't know i i feel like they are detract they're detracting from What should be a celebration of this dentist?

1:12:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah, my fucking profiterol. And do you know what we really need to settle?

1:12:20Ben Mandelker: Thank you for just crystallizing what it's all about.

1:12:26Ronnie Karam: And do you know what we really need to celebrate more? Shoe pastry. I mean, we really all need to be making more shoe pastry. It's not that difficult. And it is so fucking delicious. It really is. I'm going to make some today for my friend Tricia who's staying with me. We're going to have shoe tonight. That's it.

1:12:42Ben Mandelker: Wow. Shoo Shoo Shoo-ba-doop Shoo-ba-doop Shoo-ba-doop Pastry

1:12:51Ronnie Karam: It's going to be a very Cher evening over here

1:12:54Ben Mandelker: We're going to have some Cher-shoe Someone once said They cannot stand when I sing on the podcast And to that person I say sorry this episode Got the music in me

1:13:07Ronnie Karam: Oh I've got a song to sing for you Person who wrote that comment Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you

1:13:18Ben Mandelker: Here's a song for them Run away, run away Run away and save your life

1:13:27Ronnie Karam: Run for your mother and run for your sister Run for your mother and run for the doggie Run to the running and running and running Do you remember that song, that Florence and the Machine song? I felt like every time I watched it Let's do it last night. Every time I walk into the Trader Joe's, they're like, run for your mother and run for your sister.

1:13:48Ben Mandelker: Someone rings that bell. We need assistance. Oh, thanks, Sherry, for doing it on beat.

1:13:54Ronnie Karam: Oh, you like the jelly beans here, huh? I mean, they're just so different. They really are, aren't they? You're getting two of them. Good for you. Good for you.

1:14:02Ben Mandelker: I never go into Trader Joe's anymore, but I actually happened to go in yesterday. It's so funny that we're talking about it right now. So no one ever talks about Trader Joe's.

1:14:11Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I don't go in much either because there's always a line in the valley to get in that goddamn. Not to get in, but it's like so hard to move because it's so small. But I went this weekend on vacation. And wow, you can get all their frozen things. I forgot how good their stuff is there. I mean, they've got so many appetizers. You throw them in the micro and people are like, Ronnie, what a chef.

1:14:31Ben Mandelker: I know. Yeah, I got some frozen gyozas because I'm going to try a recipe. a tomato dumpling salad where you basically toss dumplings with fresh tomatoes and like vinaigrette and it's supposed to be amazing and I'm going to try it out go fast for your mother and fast for your sister go run with the Florence and machines on the yacht

1:14:54Ronnie Karam: so this is where it gets really good so they do the derby it's bedtime it's like 11.17 at night and uh selene selene hurts herself on the coffee machine because she's cleaning and she goes oh coffee machine now coffee machine and rainbow goes do you ever think that when you hurt yourself this is karma she goes oh only a baby just yeah so you know because you fuck over your teammates every day. That's fine.

1:15:25Ben Mandelker: Whoa.

1:15:29Ben Mandelker: Someone goes, sorry? Yeah, I said those things are just, I said that's because you fuck over your teammates. You know how when you hurt yourself, you know every time you fall down the stairs, every time you trip and fall, that's karma from you fucking over all of us. You fucking bitch, whore, slut.

1:15:45Ronnie Karam: She goes, you want to say something to me? Ring brawl? And she's like, okay. she tells us here we go again another fight rainbow is like beast of vagina bush

1:16:01Ronnie Karam: i don't even know what that means vagina bush

1:16:06Ben Mandelker: i feel like there's like some french put down that she like translated into english very literally like like in france like in french if you say like beast of vagina bush like it's like it make sense but like in english it's like what so much is funny beast of vagina bush so then selena's like so i go to bed when everything is finished and rainbow's like well technically you go to bed when i send you to bed and all you have to do is just just the bar and the day ahead just just but maybe you could put off just because you know the piece of vagina bush you know um i feel your energy and i just want to say it shows me that

1:16:45Ronnie Karam: you don't care about me. She goes, yes, of course. She goes, okay, so go start. She goes, okay, nice conversation, Vagina Bush. And Rainbow says, no, it wasn't a nice conversation. She goes, it was sarcastic.

1:16:59Ben Mandelker: Fuck you. And then Rainbow's like, girl, get the fuck out of my face. And then she starts to like clench her fists and she has all these flashbacks and we hear like the flashbacks of her being like, my sister would get me so angry that we would just beat each other up on an island in the middle of Holland.

1:17:17Ronnie Karam: This whole thing was so camp and hilarious. How they just kept showing it. They show her like doing her deep breathing like, Rainbow, rainbow, calm down. My sisters and I were put on an island to beat each other up. Rainbow, calm down. I fucking hate my sisters. I want to hit my sisters. Rainbow, I solve things with violence. Rainbow. And then it just shows her like her fists are bald. And she's like, don't do it, rainbow. don't do it bro but i really want to hit her i really want to hit her

1:17:51Ben Mandelker: do it rainbow do it hit her um oh my goodness um oh you know what we rainbow's fucking psycho

1:18:00Ronnie Karam: what the hell is wrong with rent like she just started that fight now she's like i want to hit her i dare you uh yes so everyone that was it that's the that is what were you saying what

1:18:12Ben Mandelker: were you about to say like oh no we just meeting that started eight minutes ago i just saw so we have to wrap this up yeah i didn't even realize thank you everyone so much for being here we have got to go to a meeting and we will talk to you on the next one bye bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king it's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot

1:18:48Ronnie Karam: with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles!

1:18:52Ben Mandelker: We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trickless.

1:18:58Ronnie Karam: Havanagila Weber.

1:18:59Ben Mandelker: You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie She has no less namey

1:19:07Ronnie Karam: She's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sips some scotch With Jessica Trotch

1:19:12Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock

1:19:14Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet With Lacey B K-sirah-sirah Whatever we'll be With Lauren Sillsby Brigging the funk It's Leslie Plunkett She gets an A from us It's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino To Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry We love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

1:19:39Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

1:19:42Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.

1:19:47Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell, it's Raquel.

1:19:50Ronnie Karam: Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.

1:19:52Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi.

1:19:58Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin

1:20:05Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD

1:20:08Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides

1:20:18Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland

1:20:21Ronnie Karam: Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa

1:20:26Ben Mandelker: Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. G, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alkalani.

1:20:54Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. Neat.

1:21:03Ben Mandelker: It's Ronit Feldman. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plain.

1:21:16Ronnie Karam: It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys. This episode is sponsored by McDonald's.

1:21:28Ben Mandelker: I'm having my hot Caesar summer, Ronnie. Yes. Caesar sauce? I feel like we don't talk about Caesar sauce enough because it's so, so good. I love to dip everything into it. Have you ever dipped fries in Caesar sauce before?

1:21:40Ronnie Karam: I mean, I just have. It is delicious. Caesar sauce is like a Parmesan, garlicky blend with some lemon in it. And you can dip anything in there.

1:21:48Ben Mandelker: One thing I have been known to do is to stop over at McDonald's and go to the drive-thru and get myself a Caesar snack wrap and just dip some fries in the Caesar sauce. Also, the crispy strips in the Caesar sauce. Honestly, try it. It's really good.

1:22:03Ronnie Karam: Listen, I say if you put Caesar sauce on something, that automatically makes it better. Yes, that's really all you need is the Caesar sauce.

1:22:10Ben Mandelker: I think I just want to have just a constant supply of Caesar sauce and put it on things at all times.

1:22:17Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm a straight up French fry and Caesar sauce kind of a boy. That's what I love. And that's how I'm going to go down.

1:22:23Ben Mandelker: Right now at participating McD's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my go-to order.

1:22:31Ronnie Karam: Caesar sauce at participating McDonald's for a limited time.

1:22:35Ben Mandelker: Prices and participation may vary. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast. This is Hannah Berner, the co-host of Giggly Squad. We could all just stay in bed scrolling through other people's vacations forever, but where is the fun in that?

1:23:18Ben Mandelker: The best memories come from stepping outside of your little bubble and being open to the unexpected and what better way to be open to the unexpected than finally booking that trip to Europe. You guys know I'm a Delta girly. Every time I go I get my Delta

1:23:31Ronnie Karam: headphones and when I fly to Europe, Delta treats me like a queen and they'll treat you too. I was always a little nervous about navigating a foreign country but then I realized it's so important to

1:23:45Ben Mandelker: grow and see different cultures and to put yourself in different situations and delta held my hand the whole time being away just helps you put life into perspective and your little worries are not so bad travel really is the best way to discover something new about yourself and grow from the experience step outside your comfort zone this summer get some delta headphones and fly with delta airlines they truly are the best way to get to europe and they just make the whole journey feel so comfortable and seamless. Go book your next chapter right now at Delta.com.