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Watch What Crappens

10 Sep 2025 · 1h · 23 chapters

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#2995 RHOLondon Part 1: Dental Damned

In short

Recap of Real Housewives of London Season 1 Episode 1, focusing on the show’s “throwback” London glamour, early cast introductions, and the setup for a major International Women’s Day party that spirals into chaos, including a “dentist”/dental-related fight.

Guests (hosts/recappers)

Ben Mandelker and Mr. Sir Ronnie Karam (both discuss the episode as Watch What Crappings hosts; no guest cast members appear in the episode itself).

Guest backgrounds (recappers)

Ben Mandelker is the podcast host. Ronnie Karam is the co-host, using character-style commentary and references to other Bravo Housewives.

Key claims

The episode is “top tier” and a return to classic Real Housewives camp/delusion; it borrows from Ladies of London (including a “God Save the Queen” style intro). The cast is older, wealthy, and “crazy,” with Amanda as a likely central villain/ice queen.

Notable examples

Amanda’s Belgravia skincare-business bragging and branded Women’s Day party planning; “sorting hat” servant vs caviar-eater concept; Juliet Mayhew’s American/Australian “tacky” contrast; Panthea Parker’s blunt, chaotic persona and household/“title” obsession; Nessie’s nasty camera looks; Karen’s Jamaican identity and tagline.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes.

Chapters

1:21

Setting the Stage for RHOLondon

Discussion about the hosts' anticipation for the RHOLondon recap and viewer accessibility.

“Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappings, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.”
3:16

Initial Impressions of RHOLondon

The hosts share their early thoughts on the first episode of RHOLondon.

“I mean, I went on a torrent site, which is totally illegal.”
4:49

Reflecting on the Cast and Themes

Hosts discuss the cast dynamics and thematic elements of RHOLondon.

“Well, I think they probably figured because they did Ladies of London and that didn't really work out that that was done for London, you know?”
7:24

Housewives Characteristics and Humor

Exploration of the classic Real Housewives humor and characteristics present in RHOLondon.

“They're pretty much all older, which I really liked.”
9:26

First Episode Recap and Highlights

Hosts recap key moments and highlights from the first episode of RHOLondon.

“Well, let's, let's get in as a, as any new show, you know, we get a lot of quick cuts in the beginning with a bunch of people we don't know yet.”
14:00

Bragging Rights and Wham Connections

Discussion about a character's background and her connections to Wham.

“where she keeps on bragging about the fact that she once dated someone from Wham.”
16:41

The Struggles of Suffrages vs. Selfridges

Humorous take on the confusion between department stores and the women's movement.

“And as proof of that, of us not getting tired anytime soon, that's why I always say, wake me up before you go-go.”
18:11

Taglines and Cake Discussions

Exploration of the taglines of the characters and a discussion about cake.

“This episode is supported by FX's The Shards, a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy.”
19:28

Character Introductions and Their Taglines

Discussion about the introductions and taglines of new characters.

“It says, life's a stage, darling, and I never miss my cue.”
21:45

Amanda's Lifestyle and Entrepreneurial Ventures

Amanda discusses her luxurious lifestyle and skincare business.

“So then someone drives up to her and goes, oh, hey, I wish I was there.”
Show all 23 chapters
24:34

Planning the Women's Day Event

Amanda and her team plan a Women's Day event with comedic elements.

“We're going to have a party in a very cramped townhouse.”
28:00

Amanda's Over-the-Top Attitude

Explore Amanda's quirky interactions with her dog and servant, illustrating her extravagant lifestyle.

“I also loved, she has like Monty True Madness and she walks into her estate and there's like a servant right there.”
29:24

Juxtaposing Lives: Amanda and Juliet

Dive into Amanda's relationship with her daughter and her humorous FaceTime with Juliet.

“People might know that I was married to a very wealthy British businessman.”
31:51

Fashion and Social Commentary

Discuss the extravagant fashion choices of Juliet and the social dynamics at play.

“She's wearing this gold, like crinkly Dolce and Gabbana thing, like with ruffle things on this.”
34:39

Panthea's Bold Personality

Meet Panthea as she navigates her outspoken nature and personal style.

“She's just an empty, littering Australian.”
37:41

Chalk and Cheese: Lessons in Idioms

Learn about the idiom 'chalk and cheese' while exploring Panthea's life and her husband's quirks.

“Aaliyah just has like, as she wipes off some spill from her forehead.”
42:00

Chalk vs. Chocolate

Explore the humorous misconceptions about chocolate in the 1400s.

“I mean, maybe if I dove deeper, but yeah, I think it's the actual chalk.”
45:15

Wealth and Titles

Discuss the complexities of wealth and social status in relationships.

“So basically, he was poor, but then he told her, Darling, I'm growth stock.”
46:04

Tennis and Relationships

Dive into a comedic tennis match that highlights relationship dynamics.

“We got a lovely invitation to Mansion House, darling.”
48:36

Juliet's Unique Background

Hear Juliet’s story about her childhood and her marriage to Tiggy.

“And they talk, all these like older pasty white guys do sound the same.”
50:42

Ancestry and Fame

Explore the historical and humorous connections to famous relatives.

“He saw the blonde hair, probably the boobs, and thought, that one's for me.”
52:28

Nessie's Family Life

Get insights into Nessie's homemaking and family dynamics.

“You know, what's funny is when either one of them were pulled over, they both were drunk.”
56:00

Exploring Family Dynamics and Expectations

The hosts discuss the portrayal of family life, education, and parenting styles in RHOLondon.

“So she's like making this amazing fruit platter and she goes, we live in Chelsea.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00Ben Mandelker: This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast. Hi, this is Paige from Giggly Squad, and today's episode is brought to you by McDonald's. Honestly, Caesar sauce and a Diet Coke at McDonald's might be the perfect girl dinner.

0:40Ben Mandelker: And McCrispy strips dipped in Caesar sauce? No notes. Right now, at participating McDonald's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my entire go-to order. Caesar sauce is at participating McDonald's for a limited time, so go try it before it's gone. Prices and participation may vary.

1:21Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappings, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and welcome to the show. Today, we're actually not going to talk about technically a Bravo show. We're talking about a Hey You show because we are going to be recapping Ladies of, not Ladies of London. Oh my God. Real Housewives of London, the first episode at least. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me there is Mr. Sir Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hello, Mistress Rondal Karam. Mistress Rondal Karam. So, first of all, join us on Monday nights for whatever activity we're doing.

2:06Ben Mandelker: Last Monday, it was crappy hour live. This Monday, it's Amazon live and we alternate between them. So come join us. Amazon live will be at 4 p.m. West Coast time and 7 p.m. East Coast time. And we'll also be on the Amazon Prime channel on your television, unless there's some sort of thing that goes awry. But fingers crossed, we should be there. So looking forward to that. But we had a lot of people over the past few weeks say, please recap Real Housewives of London, because we're in a bit of a Bravo lull. and we're a little hesitant at first because a lot of our audience won't be able to actually watch the show unless they get like a, you know, what do you call those things?

2:56Ben Mandelker: VPN or something like that. And also like, what if it comes to Bravo? We don't want to shoot our load too soon. But then we said, you know what? Fuck it. We'll watch what happens. We can do whatever we want. So we decided we're going to recap this first episode. Ronnie, can you give some recommendations of how people can find this if they want to watch it? No.

3:15Ronnie Karam: Not legally. I think you have to get a VPN. I mean, I went on a torrent site, which is totally illegal. So, you know, if you want to go to prison. Of course you didn't do that. If you want to go to prison like me, you will do something like that. I've read that people are getting a VPN and getting the HeyU channel through their Amazon Primes. Like they're making it look like they're overseas on their Amazon Prime. I don't know if that works. And that's why we can't cover it because it's just going to confuse people. Now, if we did get obsessed with this, we could cover it for our international market because it's not like we don't have anybody over there.

3:49Ronnie Karam: We do. You know, we could find it and just have you guys listen to it, maybe. But it looks like Bravo is coming back to life a little bit next week anyway. But for now, let's just check it out because it's a housewife show. We've got to look. You know, why not? Yeah, we have to look.

4:04Ben Mandelker: Everyone was saying so many good things about it. And I have to say, I've only watched one episode. i love it i love it i love it too it's so bravo bravo needs to import this right uh way this needs to be on bravo or peacock like whatever get this to america because this is already such a top tier real housewives like it is so good and the fact that bravo like spent two years filling around with dubai which admittedly i really liked the second dubai season but like Like the fact that they went there instead of like going to the posh capital of London. I mean, Dubai is posh, but London is posh with a capital P.

4:45Ben Mandelker: I mean, that's where posh is from. So it's like a wasted opportunity.

4:49Ronnie Karam: Well, I think they probably figured because they did Ladies of London and that didn't really work out that that was done for London, you know? And I don't like it. And I love that this show came back and they took a lot from Ladies of London, you know? They did the God Save the Queen. They didn't do the song, but they did actually have a title thing that came up. It's like God Save the Queens, which is very, you know, Ladies of London. God save the queen. God save the queen. And guess what? The queen is me. But this one did really go back to those roots. And we had some songs like, you know, I'm a girl and that's why.

5:29Ronnie Karam: Because I'm a girl. I'm a glamorous girl. you know which is our favorite like tricksy monocle stuff like back to just girl power songs making no sense other than just being like i've got boobs because i'm a girl i've got lips because i'm a girl i'm a girl i love an i'm a girl song love it and and the show literally steals from

5:51Ben Mandelker: ladies of london juliette angus is an actual cast member but what i actually kind of loved what was so hilarious is that in this first episode, they're like, let's leave the American off. Okay. Let's not, let's not force her on our British audience just yet. Like she, Juliet was the tacky ass American on ladies of London. And from what we can tell, she's going to be the tacky ass American on this show too. And they're like, let's establish our brand as being, you know, wealthy and impressive and aspirational before we like shock all the Brits with Juliet

6:23Ronnie Karam: angus well from what i've read is she doesn't even come until way late i don't think she's in the first few episodes at all um so they she must have been a later edition um at first i was like

6:35Ben Mandelker: why not oh god i'm sorry i was just gonna say there's this woman i think kate or katie who seems to be a friend of and she's in the later in the episode when they when the cast is down and has their argument she's there and i almost wondered was she supposed to be a cast member and then they swapped her out with Juliet later. That was my suspicion. Go on.

6:52Ronnie Karam: Oh, I don't know, but I loved her. I loved her too. She looked like, she looked like, and she's like Chevrolet. Yeah, here's the thing. What I was going to say is I was kind of, I was like, why wouldn't you bring some of the London ladies back? Because I mean, come on, Caroline. I know that Caroline's in Dubai, but she'll always move back for a TV show. And we do see her in some upcoming clips. So she's going to at least guest star. But some of those ladies were great and I would love them back on my TV. But then I saw these ladies and I was like, these are actually really, this cast is really good.

7:23Ronnie Karam: They're all crazy. And I love that they're all older. They're pretty much all older, which I really liked. They're all completely crazy. They all dress crazy. They've all got all this money all over the place. And it is kind of a return to form of the original Housewives. And you can tell that it's like, let's take this property and make it our own. But they're still having to do like the formulaic things. It's like, oh, the glamour, it's all the cars and the money and the jewels and the purses. It's just so cheesy and great. It feels like a throwback.

7:55Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I mean, there was part of me that thought, wouldn't it be funny if they brought Caprice back and put her on this show? But it's for the best. I mean, and Juliette will be a great heel because she's just going to be so awful and embarrassing. And it's great that they have Caroline Stanbury. Like Caroline Thinberry is like a plug and play, you know, like let's help out a new show kind of thing. Like she just always pops up. And in fact, I would be happy if they slowly layer her in and just make her part of the show just because I just need more Caroline Thinberry in general. But this show was great.

8:28Ben Mandelker: And it also had all the things you want from a Real Housewives show. It was campy. It was delusional. I mean, you have a giant party, a climactic party in the episode to celebrate International Women's Day, women supporting women. and it's a whole bunch of poor women serving rich women. That's what the entire thing was. I was like, this is amazing. Let's gather here to celebrate all these poor people who get to serve us caviar. And then you also have a dentist fight. I mean, that was actually breaking new ground. I've been fighting about child's dentistry,

8:58Ronnie Karam: but that was pretty good. Yeah. So, yeah. And just the whole like, oh, I'm going to have a women's, international women's, oh, okay. Okay. That's your first party. but it's in her home with pictures of herself everywhere. And it's all branded with all of her, you know, her face products, crap. It's like, Oh, okay. We're selling, we're branding our international women's day. Are we? I loved it. Yeah. I was great. Absolutely. Really wonderful. All right. Well, let's, let's get in as a, as any new show, you know, we get a lot of quick cuts in the beginning with a bunch of people we don't know yet.

9:35Ronnie Karam: So it's very like, um, The girl, I'm a girl who's a queen. And a lot of little snippets like, oh, London is the capital of the world. The world. London is just so pretty. It's a sea where dreams come true, where the streets are paved with gold.

9:57Ben Mandelker: London's just so pretty. I would love it if just like someone just kept saying, London's so pretty. London is just so pretty. And then we see Juliet. And by the way, there's two Juliettes on this show. there's going to be Australian Juliet and American Juliet. So basically they're like, get all of the, get all of like our British offshoot, like colonial, colonial Juliet's and bring them in. We'll get an American and Australian and we'll ridicule them both for being trashy. Yeah. So we have Juliet showing off some shoes being, aren't they amazing? And then we also have someone named Nessie who I love Nessie.

10:30Ben Mandelker: Oh, I love Nessie. She gives such nasty looks to the camera. That's my favorite.

10:35Ronnie Karam: And she does it with a smile. And she'll like crinkle her eyes a little bit and be like, which I love. And then we've got Karen. Karen, who's Jamaican. And I think she's one of my favorites already so far. Oh, she's gorgeous. She's really funny. Yes. So it's a city of heritage and hierarchy. London is a city where wealth whispers and ambition souls. Really? I see a helicopter. they're really selling us on monday london the streets are paved with gold the ambition

11:12Ben Mandelker: soars and the wealth whispers i know i love that ambition soars and then you realize you're just a commoner and you'll always be a commoner and never be accepted into the lord's class so then we have panthea or sorry panthea and she's like this tiny little island in the middle of nowhere rule the world once upon a time and she's like so proud i'm like i feel like there's a lot of people that would not be as excited as you are about that but that's okay and then we have amanda again saying so much history and power and class and money and jewelry and scones and sidewalks and people and lights and bricks and pebbles and stores and jellies and jams i could go

11:56Ronnie Karam: on do you want me to keep going on yeah london it's fit for a queen and for a king it's certainly fit for me london paved gold it's so pretty so uh it's just a lot of this like we're fabulous aren't we aren't we fabulous and then pantheist telling us what londoners are like they're very discreet and politically correct which is why they added in i think american juliet because everyone is very prim and proper and then you're going to get Juliet in here to be like you're just a stupid slut is what you are how many names do you even have slut face hey how much how much fucking do you take loser so they had to get the Americans in there to ruffle ruffle those feathers

12:46Ben Mandelker: yeah I also feel so bad that London has to do this whole preamble because like we're used to it with like Salt Lake City or Potomac or some like Like Orange County, it's like a lot of people may not have a huge awareness of what those places are all about. They may have just a vague sense. So you need to have things like Orange County is where the wealth comes to play. This is where you've got beach. You've got sunshine. We have all the fabulous designers. You have land. We have mansions. They have to sell themselves. But like London does should not have to do this. Like we all know what London is.

13:19Ben Mandelker: It's got to be like London is where there's wealth. It's like, yeah, no shit. Sherlock is a full on palace there. Okay, we get it. There's crown jewels. You don't have those in Orange County.

13:30Ronnie Karam: And I love, I just love the way they fight. So we get clips of fights. And Amanda, who's like the super posh single lady who has the International Women's Day party later, she goes, What are you saying, you pea brain? You stupid idiot.

13:46Ben Mandelker: And she's great because she sort of looks like Nicole Kidman meets Claudia Schiffer. And she sort of like walks around with this like ice queen smile. and you just know she's gonna be the biggest raging bitch of them all. And I'm like waiting for that to like emerge. But right now she's in this polite phase where she keeps on bragging about the fact that she once dated someone from Wham.

14:05Ronnie Karam: And we have a guy from Wham. Andrew Rick, the guy that I don't remember. Otherwise known as the other guy from Wham. And she mentions him, I think, 20 ,000 times. She's like, yes, you know, so many people I've been with, including the other guy from Wham. Have I mentioned him? Wham. Wham.

14:25Ben Mandelker: We call him Tagfua, the other guy from Wham. So then Amanda tells us, at the heart of London are the friendships. I was like, oh, you're a nice bitch right now. Like, I know you cannot tell me that the heart of London are friendships. She goes, this really lovely core group of women that we've been through really difficult times. For instance, when they changed the hours at suffrages and had to wait a whole extra 30 minutes to get in. Tough times. What's suffrages? Isn't it a department store? It's called Suffrages. Isn't it a place called Suffrages? No.

15:02Ronnie Karam: Wasn't Suffrages? The Suffrages was a women's movement, wasn't it? Like, weren't those people who fought for women's rights? Suffrages.

15:12Ben Mandelker: Maybe, excuse me, let me amend it. Selfrages, it's called Selfrages.

15:19Ben Mandelker: Well, we've been through tough times, like the time Juliet Angus came to our group, started calling it suffrages instead of selfridges and then we also called it suffrages and i went to a party and prince charles was there and i said did you did you go to suffrages recently he said what is that and i realized i've been infected with americanitis so this is that lady amanda

15:36Ronnie Karam: what's her buns i think she looks like morgan fairchild i'm putting her up on the screen so people can see i don't want to show too much of this because i don't want us to get kicked off the internet for showing stuff but um i think first of all they're all dressed crazily okay She's got a humongous bow on her shoulder, which we'll show some more of these outfits later. But that's her. Just so people can get a visual of what this lady's like. So she's like, yes, at the heart of London are the friendships. And she talks in this little, little high voice. Like she's just so soft and demure. A lovely, cool group of women.

16:13Ronnie Karam: We've been through really difficult times. We're a little naughty, a little wild, a little crazy, a little wham. I think Oscar Wilde once said, when a man is tired of London, he's tired of life. And on the screen it goes, ding! And it says, quote, actually by Samuel Johnson. But at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the life of the poor. We're not getting tired anytime soon.

16:41Ben Mandelker: And as proof of that, of us not getting tired anytime soon, that's why I always say, wake me up before you go-go.

16:53Ronnie Karam: tagline time so amanda says i look like a model but i think like a ceo

17:01Ben Mandelker: a ceo who's also a model and then uh juliette this is um this is our juliette juliette angus i love that juliette angus is so american she's literally named after a cut of beef I've lived in every time zone and I'm still ahead of you you're literally behind all of us in America just so you know oh no no she's ahead oh my god I'm so mad I am getting in the presence of this recap I'm getting dumber I'm like suffrages and we're actually we're ahead of you with time the earth goes the other way around now

17:33Ronnie Karam: and then messy who says they say you can't have your cake and eat it too I say watch me I cannot believe somebody said they're going to eat cake in a tagline, especially a skinny little lady like this one. I was like, well, I'll bet you eat fucking cake. Later, we find out that she is a cake maker, which she makes some beautiful cakes. Also, I don't really trust them because they're too beautiful. They're those cakes that are like, look, it's a rhinoceros. Like, really? How does that shit taste? Because you have to make a strong cake to hold that thing up, you know? I think you left some eggs out or something to make it that stiff.

18:11Yeah.

18:12Ronnie Karam: It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

18:18Ben Mandelker: This episode is supported by FX's The Shards, a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy. Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the series follows a group of glamorous, deeply entangled high school seniors drawn into a life of wealth, beauty, parties, and excess.

18:35Ronnie Karam: At its center is Brett, whose reality begins to unravel when the arrival of a new student coincides with a series of mysterious murders.

18:44Ben Mandelker: FX's The Shards premieres August 5th on FX and Hulu.

19:05Ben Mandelker: It's just three simple steps, set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test, available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast.

19:26Ben Mandelker: Then we go on to Australian Juliette. It says, life's a stage, darling, and I never miss my cue. so um i think that's a reference to the fact that there's like all shakespeare names in her family so i don't know i'm not gonna say i have to say i sadly i think that juliet angus has she i think has the best tagline so far the rest are a little like i think nessie is of like they say you can't have your cake and eat it too and i say watch me i'm like i feel like i need to watch me eat cake i mean

19:57Ronnie Karam: And that sounds like a porn video, you know? Like, oh, yeah, come on, my OnlyFans, and watch me eat a cake. And people are like, yeah, yeah, sorry, the cake. Yeah, it was worth 20 bucks a month. Oh, yeah.

20:09Ben Mandelker: I feel like hers should have been something like, they say, let them eat cake, and I say, I'll make it. Or something like that, you know? Something, yeah.

20:19Ronnie Karam: Mine would be, some say, they say you can't have your cake and eat it too, but I did already have my cake and I ate yours. They say let them eat cake while I already ate it.

20:33Ben Mandelker: Fuck you, poor people. They say you can't have your cake and eat it too. I say I won't go near either one of them because I'm minding my figure.

20:45Ronnie Karam: And then Karen says, I may be from the Commonwealth but there's nothing common about me. Except my name, which is Karen. That's a pretty common name, but otherwise. Pretty common.

20:58Ben Mandelker: Otherwise, good. Great tagline. She has a good one. And then Panthea says, As a true Londoner, I don't just sip the tea. I spill it. All right. That's pretty good.

21:10Ronnie Karam: Pretty good. But also, do you ever want to invite her to your house? No, because she will just be spilling shit everywhere. She's like, it was in my tagline, darling. I spill. I spill everywhere. So the episode begins with one of our girls. Her girl's in power, girl's in power, and boobs too. Amanda is driving her Bentley very slowly through the streets, and everyone's staring at her, because you know there's somebody on a pickup truck in front of her filming all of this, going 10 miles an hour, holding up traffic. But she is driving, and she's like, oh, it's London at its finest today. No cost of living crisis here.

21:49Ben Mandelker: So then someone drives up to her and goes, oh, hey, I wish I was there. She goes, oh, darling, looking good. thinking good. Okay, have a lovely day. All right. This is just me, Amanda Caroline, waving at people in traffic. Isn't this what Lisa Vanderpump did when we first saw her on Beverly Hills? We saw her in like a convertible driving down Santa Monica Boulevard just waving to random people. Like, hello, darling. I'm showing America that I'm wealthy, but I talk to the poor as well. Hello.

22:17Ronnie Karam: I'm Amanda Caroline. I'm a small town girl who grew up on the south coast in Hampshire. I came to London while I was around 20 and as a model I was very young, very attractive. And we see her. Truth. Truth to all that. Yes. And I came to London to find my fortune. Although she's a cruel mistress, London launched me and made me the person that I am, which we'll find out very soon is evil, awful, terrible, spoiled and crazy.

22:47Ben Mandelker: You're welcome. Now here, everyone, here's my little poodle, my pup, whose name is Monty True Madness. Isn't that hilarious? Monty, you look so cute in your little outfit. True madness indeed. And I love your business shirt. Oh, goodness. Isn't Monty True Madness going to steal the hearts of everyone on this sweet little island we call Britain?

23:09Ronnie Karam: And she keeps, she's always holding this little white fluffy poodle dog. And the dog we find out is 15 years old. And it just keeps staring into the camera and growling. Let's get a shot of Monty. And it's like.

23:25Ronnie Karam: Monty Drew Madness. So she calls Megan and she's like, Megan, I just came back from the meeting in Harley Street. It went so well. They're going to place an order of 100 units. They're going to give us a whole branded space. Get on that business, business, business. We do business in our Bentley's here in London, where the streets are paid with gold.

23:47Ben Mandelker: Early 2022, I started my skincare business. Amanda Caroline Skincare launched straight into Saks Fifth Avenue in the US. Literally, we put it in a t-shirt gun and shot it off and it landed in Saks Fifth Avenue. And I'm one of the only prestige beauty brands in the entire world that's made in England. That's right, everyone. I invented skincare. You're welcome.

24:09Ronnie Karam: I think it's so funny how she's like, look at me, a badass CEO and magnate. I've had my business since 2022. I know.

24:21Ben Mandelker: Amanda Caroline. All right. I was going to, all right, Megan, I was going to run through the Women's Day event. Canapes are looking good. Flowers arriving in the morning. Weather's looking good. And so I think we're all set. We're going to have a party in a very cramped townhouse. Are you excited?

24:38Ronnie Karam: Here's one thing I think we still need for the Women's Day event. Women. I think it might be important to have women there. So let's just scratch the list that we've got now. I just don't trust it. There's too many penises on this list. I only want, well, maybe not only women. Can we invite men too? Shall we have men? Let's celebrate men's tea. Why isn't it international men and women's? No, I can't brand that really well. Just women. Stick with men. Find me some women, please.

25:05Ben Mandelker: How about this? Ooh, let's have a sorting hat. And you arrive at the party and we find out, are you a servant or are you a caviar eater? And one goes downstairs, one goes upstairs like the old show. It'll be perfect. A great way to celebrate women of all kinds.

25:19Ronnie Karam: I found out a caviar that acts like poison to a poor person. So only the rich people will be able to digest it. And any poor person that tries to eat it will fall dead on the floor. Oh, can we get some women dead body cleaner uppers, please? That might be important.

25:38Ben Mandelker: Make sure they don't have the caviar either. You know, you have to understand, person on the phone with me, that skincare is bigger than the car industry. We're just at the beginning. And I'm building a billion...

25:49Ronnie Karam: I mean, you don't see people putting Volvos on their face. Do you?

25:54Ben Mandelker: No. No, you don't. No. No. Listen, I'm building a billion-dollar company. It's only a$10 ,000 company at the moment, but I'm building a billion-dollar company. I live in Belgravia. It's the most exclusive neighbourhood in London and one of the most expensive per square foot in the world, and we just got a Starbucks. We're so excited. I pretty much live next to King Charles. I mean, I'm pretty much in his room. I'm not saying that I'm a stalker of his, but I did leave him a cassette tape from Wham and said, guess who I know? It was Andrew Wrigley.

26:26Ronnie Karam: It was really funny. I left the card. It said Wham, and then it was signed, Bam, thank you, ma 'am. So I think he liked that. I think he did. So she's bragging that she lives right next to the Royal Palace. Is that really considered a good neighborhood? I mean, we went there. It wasn't like hideous or anything. There wasn't like spray paint everywhere. but isn't that kind of like a tourist trap?

26:48Ben Mandelker: I feel like it's a good neighborhood for, I feel like there's like a lot of bragging rights. I assume if you're near Buckingham Palace, like the queen lives next door. I could invite her over.

27:00Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but you go outside and there's just like, I don't know, pudgy, dirty people with fanny packs walking around aimlessly like, hey, you know where that museum for Truman Capote is? Well, how else do you know you're going to be rich?

27:13Ben Mandelker: How else do you know that you're rich unless you see the poor people downstairs? That's true. It's another person. Yeah.

27:20Ronnie Karam: I know how wealthy I am by the amount of disgust I feel every time I walk outside and look at everyone else.

27:27Ben Mandelker: Oh, look, there are two gay podcasters from America walking by talking about Bravo television. Disgusting.

27:35Ronnie Karam: So she talks about how she built this. She found a large building in Belgravia and she totally demolished it. and I made it into my office, my home, my event space. Oh, and this week I'm hosting a beautiful event at my home and inviting lots of friends. Let's take a look at my home, shall we? And we go through and we see little clips of her home and she's got a whole room that's like her beauty room. It's her office and it's all pictures of her.

28:02Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I also loved, she has like Monty True Madness and she walks into her estate and there's like a servant right there. and like as soon as she steps in the door she just hands off the dog like here take him i can't do it i already shot my scene with him it's disgusting get this dog out of my face get this mongrel out of my hands it was like so obviously a prop dog at that point like she just hands him off even the

28:25Ronnie Karam: way she hands him over she's holding him like this she goes oh hello here take him she's just like like she's handing her the phone she just hands her monty yeah she's not like she's not like oh

28:35Ben Mandelker: can you just take monty is just like i can't deal with him right now she just she just gives the servant Monty like it's a hat. Like, here you go. Take this out to the back.

28:44Ronnie Karam: And Emma, who's the girl who works for her, she's like, do you want some water? And she goes, oh, could you give Monty some water? I would love that so much. I'd hate for Monty actually to have to walk to a dog bowl. Please. That's why we have you, Emma.

28:55Ben Mandelker: Please. By the way, Monty, he was woofing to me and I believe he said his favorite water is servant water. So I'm afraid he's going to, you're going to have to use your dedicated water for Monty. Is that okay if you don't drink any water today? He's just so thirsty.

29:09Ronnie Karam: Well, I've built this property to host amazing events, not just for me to sit here with Monty True Madness. Because, Monty, True Madness is gathering cobwebs. You know, look, I share the space with a lot of people. I'm just a very, very private person. People might know that I was married to a very wealthy British businessman. Oh, yeah, I'm shocked. I'm totally shocked. When we see a picture of him, Mark Dage, who owns Amanda's second... Wait, who owns? Oh, it's just Mark Daish, Amanda's second husband. They might know that I have a daughter. Then we see her daughter, Sophia, in a picture. And the Daily Mail definitely have a bit of fixation on my personal dating life.

29:50Ronnie Karam: I should imagine I'm a bit of a myth.

29:54Ben Mandelker: Okay, lady, relax. And then we see headlines that says, like, Amanda Cronin spits from tycoon husband Mark Daish. Millionaire former model steps out with Whamstar Andrew Ridgely. Who is the longest legs in Belgravia? seen out with after Wimbledon, why it's the former member of the... I was trying to remember British bands of the 80s and I'm completely forgetting. Well, listen, even myths have bad days.

30:28Ronnie Karam: Even myths have bad days. So Amanda now FaceTimes Juliet Mayhew, who is Australian Juliet, and this is how Juliet talks to everybody and it cracks me up. She's like, hello, Juliet, darling. She's like, darling, you look gorgeous. You look amazing, stunning looking, darling. I've never seen anyone more gorgeous in my life. Is that even your real face? Did you get a filter on the phone? You look absolutely, I just climaxed. I just climaxed. You are gorgeous. Are you on a ceiling pointing your finger into another finger because you are the Sistine Chapel, darling. No one has been more gorgeous.

31:11Ben Mandelker: Juliet is hilarious because she definitely has Mrs. Crowley vibes from Downton Abbey, like the middle-class woman that the upper-class people have to deal with who's like, she thinks she's like very fancy, but she's definitely from a different station in society. And by that, I mean, she's Australian. And so she's like, hello, darling. How are you doing today? And Juliet, I mean, Amanda's like, oh god oh does someone have monty true madness i need to come to cover up this camera so i don't have to look at a peasant face so yes julia definitely gives like she's being played by

31:44Ronnie Karam: britney murphy vibes like hi guys hi can i sit with you today my ear table like she is very much that personality i really like her um i think she's so funny she's so bubbly and she's trying so hard and also she gives us looks like this i'm going to put her up on the screen she looks insane she looks like a like a semi unwrapped piece of chocolate you know that's just

32:07Ben Mandelker: crumpled and looking looking just she's like crazy you know what she looks like it's like if if like the alien from alien were actually made of like godiva chocolate wrapper and she was like the tongue she's like sticking out like hello i'm birthing out of my alien yes like she's

32:27Ronnie Karam: popping out of a Godiva. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. She's wearing this gold, like crinkly Dolce and Gabbana thing, like with ruffle things on this. I mean, she looks crazy and she's trying very hard. And I like it.

32:39Ben Mandelker: I like a little effort. Yeah. And it's a crazy outfit, but I'm just realizing what it is. I think this is actually kind of like a, like a couture reference to like a Shakespearean dress, right? Like it's got like the ruffles around the shoulders. It's got the big collar. It's like a, it's like a throwback to that. except I think it looks absolutely crazy.

32:59Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it looks crazy. Yeah. Well, it's Dolce. Is it Dolce? Yeah. Well, at least the belt is. I don't know. I assume the whole thing was. So then behind her, we see the dead swan, which she brags about later in the episode that she's got a literal stuffed swan in her house, which is so creepy. And I just want that thing to bite Kyle Richards. I want it to bite her so bad. Get her. Get her, swan.

33:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously. So Juliet is like, Portia's having a facial. It's like, seriously. And we see five minutes earlier that Juliet's dog is getting a facial. It's like a spa treatment. so Amanda is like Juliet I've known her I've known on the scene for quite a few years she's very very social which I felt I feel like if someone like Amanda says that you're very very social I feel like that's somehow like she's saying something really mean about you well when you say something in British

34:01Ronnie Karam: you know it's like when you're southern you know like saying bless her heart really means fuck that bitch right it means what a loser so you always have to like figure out what Amanda's saying because she does speak in British. Julia, I've known on the scene for quite a few years and she's very, very social. I think she's a warm, bubbly, fun, energetic woman. And that really means Julia has been inviting herself to parties for fucking years because she's got some old rich man's money. And this bitch is always trying to climb up every ladder in town. She's a fake twat who's probably on crack. She's got a drug addiction.

34:37Ronnie Karam: That's what she really just said. And she has no substance. She's just an empty, littering Australian. Infiltrating our circles. Amanda is so shocked by a dog grooming shop. She's like, what? You're getting your dog a facial? You're getting your dog a bath? Darling, I'm in the wrong business. I mean, watching a dog? I mean, that's a business right there. That could be a business. It is a business, Amanda. It is. Dog grooming is a pretty big business.

35:06Ben Mandelker: Hold on, though. I've just found doggy deodorant and hair shine, which I've just tried on, I think I'm going to just lather my head with a doggy deodorant. Oh, any toothpaste over there? Monty's breath is terrible. And also yours too. You should probably use it.

35:19Ronnie Karam: Have Monty use the toothpaste and then possibly lick you on your teeth and gums. That would be

35:25Ben Mandelker: great, darling. Are you going to come and horse bike riding in Hyde Park with me? I literally need to check out your horsey skills. Oh, well, I don't know if my skills will be skilling. I don't know, but obviously I had a big love affair with a polo player remember and of course Andrew Ridgely

35:44Ronnie Karam: from Wham you do know that right Andrew oh you remember the polo player don't you I know who does remember the Daily Mail am I right god they love us they love us I was really sticking bowling in the arena over there so now we go to meet Panthea who is insane we get them yeah she's like Ava Longoria and Ekansu mixed together. She's fucking crazy. She's our Iranian queen here. So I love it. You know, I'm Lebanese. I'm not Iranian. But like in America, we're cousins. So I'm like, hey, girl, hey. And she's like, oh, my God. She's talking to her housekeeper. And she's got the gravelly voice. And she's like, hey, Aaliyah, is my makeup too much?

36:27Ronnie Karam: Is my makeup too much, Aaliyah? Tell me the truth. And her house lady's like, yeah, it's a bit heavy. It's a bit heavy, yeah. She's like, wait a minute. what do you think is too heavy but you think i can get away with it like do you think i can or not like does it look really bad she goes yeah a little bit yes yes aliyah for the win aliyah

36:47Ben Mandelker: cannot stand her she's like well i was trying to cover these spots and i don't understand why i've got these hormonal spots how could how could my hair how does how good does my hair look does it look really good because i slept in this like this in it this entire right okay look my hair's good look i'm gonna zhush my hair up look i'm having a good day hair day right i look so sexy come on aliyah say yes say yes to the dresser leah bruce willis has better hair than you mum okay well i'll just ignore that i'm panthea parker i was born in iran and i moved to london when i was four years old and we left iran in 1979 because the revolution and i've never looked back

37:24Ronnie Karam: so except when ben affleck was shooting there because those were honestly exciting times for everyone, weren't they? I did look like that. Oh, God, am I still spitting from all that Botox? Oh, God, it's been three weeks and I'm still spitting.

37:40Ben Mandelker: Drooling all over. And Aaliyah goes, I know. Aaliyah just has like, as she wipes off some spill from her forehead. Yes, I am aware you are indeed still spitting, mum. Aaliyah hates her ass.

37:52Ronnie Karam: Oh, God, when I was born, the filter of my brain to my mouth, it just disappeared. You know, I'm like, Marmite, You love me or you hate me. I can't lie, but I say it as it is. I just won't lie. I won't do it.

38:04Ben Mandelker: I love that straight talk in Marmite. Every time I'm about to try Marmite for the first time, I'm like, I don't know if I want to try this because it might sass me off. God, she really is just like Marmite.

38:15Ronnie Karam: So she's married to an old, very pasty man who's like, oh, hello. Good morning, how are you, darling? She's like, oh, good morning, sir. I'm fine. I'm just lying in bed. I'm not going back to bed. I just like to be in bed, you know. Let me tell you the truth, because I will not lie to you, husband. I love to be in bed. I love it. I love bed.

38:36Ben Mandelker: I got married very young, and my ex-husband left me without a penny before I met the love of my life, Ed. And he ticked every single box there was to tick. Rich tick. And we're done. Got it.

38:51Ronnie Karam: Hopefully dead within the next ten years. Got it. Got it.

38:56Ben Mandelker: oh darling your nose looks really bad he's like oh well i was it was i was at touch rugby last night and i caught a rugby ball full on the nose touch rugby i don't know why that's so funny to me because that's so like in america we have well it's like flag football but it's it's it's only called flag football right it's like i don't know why it's so funny like touch rugby like it's like the standard rugby is you don't touch whereas in america the standard is you are touching and being violent. And like the exception is that we're going to play it nicely with flags. But in Britain, it's like the standard is you actually are polite and don't tackle each other.

39:32Ben Mandelker: But like if you're going extreme, you're going to do it American style and tackle each other all crazy.

39:37Ronnie Karam: I'm sorry, darling. I was playing one of our most popular games in the country. Be polite rugby. Which lead with a compliment, first of all, and end with a handshake. A nice, firm, warming handshake. And I got hit in the face with the nose. And she goes, oh, real man's man over there. That's exactly rugged. 1980s man, darling. 1980s man. You know, back when men were men. X-wham, am I right? X-wham. X-wham.

40:07Ben Mandelker: People don't realize that I'm actually a champion, polite rugby player. I've been told that no one else in the league can say, please pass the ball as authoritatively as I can.

40:18Ronnie Karam: Oh, Ed and I are like chalk and cheese, which is so different, but it works. It works, you know. I thought chalk and cheese, like you go together like chalk and cheese. I thought that was a good thing. It's not a good thing.

40:30Ben Mandelker: Well, it could be a good thing if that's what you're looking for, but the chalk and cheese do not. They don't go together. He has something to the land. If I remember correctly from when I took a class early modern England from the Jacobian era, I think it was something like that. Some land was for cattle. in some land. There's something about land. The origin of the expression has to do with land and some land is not good for breeding cattle maybe and that's like the chalk or whatever. The good land is for the cheese and the bad land is for the chalk. Something like that. It's a great story. So Panthea's like, we've just got to start getting some stuff out of the diary.

41:14Ben Mandelker: It's too much. I just feel exhausted. I don't even do anything. I don't even work. And yet I'm exhausted. I think it was one month before the wedding I said, so Ed how much do you earn? and I remember drinking my coffee and the coffee went flying out of my mouth on account of the new Botox I got I have a real issue with keeping liquids in my mouth I mean, how are we going to live on that? I don't work how are you going to afford a housekeeper? come on, you're supposed to be rich when I see an old pacey person like you it's supposed to be implied you have a lot of money and you have no money how is this even going to work?

41:46Ronnie Karam: by the way, chalk and cheese is an idiom meaning that two people are different. The phrase, which dates back to the 14th century, highlights extreme contrast between two subjects as chalk and many types of cheese are superficially similar in color, but vastly different in texture and purpose. So I guess they mean like chalk. So nothing to do with land. No. Nothing to do with land. I mean, maybe if I dove deeper, but yeah, I think it's the actual chalk. Yeah, like that you draw with. It's like, it looks like it could be cheese, but don't eat it because it certainly doesn't taste like cheese.

42:20Ben Mandelker: I never once thought chocolate looked like cheese. I just want to put that out there. Just going to put that out there. Stupid 1400s people.

42:28Ronnie Karam: So then, chocolate was very different back then. They're like, can we get a wheel of chalk, please? Giant wheel of chalk.

42:37Ben Mandelker: Do you have any blue chalk? It's just like chalk with like mold on the inside. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

42:47Ronnie Karam: One thing my mom loves is to bargain hunt. She will go to a garage sale, to a flea market, any old sale at the mall. I'm taking her from sale to sale to sale to sale. And I finally found someplace online that I can just park her and she'll have the time of her life. And that is Whatnot.

43:04Ben Mandelker: Whatnot is an app that does live shopping. There's a whole community there on Whatnot. You're connecting with sellers and other shoppers, and it's kind of like hanging out with a group that gets you. And this is like a really fun way to shop.

43:20Ronnie Karam: You never pay full price there. You can shop name brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry, and more, all without the sticker shock. It's the best place to find great deals on products you love.

43:31Ben Mandelker: and there are amazing sellers with great, great taste and they're going live all the time, like 24 seven. You can comment in real time and they'll just show you like closeup of clothes. You'll be like, hey, can I get, can I see that a little bit closer? I wanna see that detail on that shirt and they will show it to you because it's real time.

43:47Ronnie Karam: And you can sell too. Do you have clothes, bags or accessories sitting in your closet that you don't reach for anymore? Whatnot makes it easy to turn them into cash, connect with shoppers who share your style and have fun going live while doing it.

43:58Ben Mandelker: It's amazing what you can find on there. I literally just purchased a mid-century modern dance yellow paella pan for$35, and I've seen it listed elsewhere on the internet for$80. It was a bargain.

44:13Ronnie Karam: Download WhatNot today and get$20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Search WhatNot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T in the App Store. Sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with$20 off and free shipping on your first purchase.

44:31Ben Mandelker: Hi, it's Kat and Nat, and this episode is sponsored by Michael's, your destination for all things birthday parties. With seven kids between us, we're always planning a celebration. Summer is no exception. With prices starting at just 99 cents, Michael's Party Shop has over 4 ,500 party supplies across more than 60 themes for every age and every celebration. Whether your kids are into bluey, rodeos, soccer, rainbows, or something totally different, you'll find everything you need in one place. Plus, you can get a free helium inflation on select balloon styles. Shop online, pick up in-store, or get same-day delivery.

45:06Ben Mandelker: Visit Michael's in-store or shop online now.

45:15Ben Mandelker: So basically, he was poor, but then he told her, Darling, I'm growth stock. And that was it. I was like, it was like jumping off of a cliff. Can this man actually be wealthy? And it turns out he could be.

45:29Ronnie Karam: I don't even know how you people work because I'm just shattered the whole time. I mean, I don't understand. Maybe it's because I'm doing too much. And she's lying in bed right now. And he's like, well, we do have a busy house, darling. Oh, yes, because we have three children. Show the picture of them. Sienna, Cameron, and Cordelia. God. Who doesn't want to grow up as a Cordelia in 2025? Am I right?

45:54Ben Mandelker: Sienna, Cameron, Cordelia. Oh, and also Amir from my other marriage. But who cares about him? Get the fuck off the screen. Let's go back to Cordelia. My sweet angel Cordelia. Oh, or Cameron. Sometimes I call him. Not Amir. Such a wonderful little boy.

46:10Ronnie Karam: Oh, look at this. We got a lovely invitation to Mansion House, darling. So the Lord and Lady Mayoress invite me, the master of solicitors company, and Mrs. Panthea Parker. What is it? Why doesn't it say mistress? I mean, what's the point of having a title if they're not even going to use the title? Send that back. Have Amir take it over. Just have a mirror do it. I don't want to put our own children in danger. Just have a mirror do it.

46:33Ben Mandelker: I want to know who Lord and Lady Mayorists are because if they think they're being impressive by having someplace called Mansion House, I'm sorry, that's like calling someplace City Town.

46:46Ronnie Karam: It's like trying to upgrade your own house verbally. You're like, you know what? We couldn't really afford the square footage, so we're just going to call it Mansion House. Okay, yeah, it's a studio apartment. but it should be a mansion.

47:00Ben Mandelker: You're in London. It should be something like El de Flava Hall or like, I don't know, Gooseberry House, but not like Mansion House. That just seems so on the nose. Yeah.

47:10Ronnie Karam: He's like, I shall write and complain, my sweet. Yes, write and complain. I thought that was the whole point that I have a name, Mistress. You know, Eddie's a lawyer by day. It's a prestige thing. He's now a master of the solicitors because of who my husband is, I now rub elbows with the who's who of the world. You should get invited to so many ambassador's homes. I go to Downing Street. I go to Buckingham Palace. I mean, God, I just see celebrities everywhere I go.

47:37Ben Mandelker: Being a mistress and all. Mistress of solicitors. So Edda's like, okay, well, just remember, no getting a selfie with King Charles. But is it one of those events where we have to put our phone down? Because if I can't put it on Instagram, it didn't happen. I have to be able to. Please, please, please, I've waited so long for you to be wealthy. I have to show everyone I bet on the right horse. Come on, please.

48:02Ronnie Karam: It's like, yes, you know, these things, as a mistress, you have to be like, darling, sweetie, darling. But if I'm going to meet King Charles, I'm going to be getting a selfie. I'm going to be getting a selfie.

48:16Ben Mandelker: Oh, so then Ed is like, well, anyway, I have to get to the world of work. I'm not familiar with what those concepts are, but okay, someone's got to keep the show on the road.

48:27Ronnie Karam: So now let's go to Juliet playing tennis with her husband, Tiggy.

48:35Ronnie Karam: Oh my God, the show is so good. And they talk, all these like older pasty white guys do sound the same. He's like, all right, I'm just going to hit some balls to you and you just smack them back, okay? What was that? Oh, I'm going to hit some balls and you hit them. What? All right, there's some balls. Oh, what kind of hit was that one then? All right, here it is again. Can you please, you said you were going to hit them to me. Good one, honey. I mean, who would have known that I used to be quite good at one point? I mean, Serena Williams, watch out. Marina, it's not right to love who? Who? Who?

49:09Ronnie Karam: So they're seeing me play, don't they?

49:12Ben Mandelker: Yeah, better watch out. Steffi Graffiti and Andres Agrises. So, Juliet says, I'm Juliet Mayhew. I'm from a little Jilroo town in far north Queensland, Australia. Like a true blue Aussie, Mareeba is like this beautiful little place in the middle of the rainforest. And my dad was a missionary travelling doctor, so we went to places in the world where no one has any help. And I said, guess what? If you want a servant, you can get a servant, so here's some help. I spent my life travelling around the world to war zones, helping no one at all, just getting in the way of everyone else. whether you're trying to fight or save someone, there's me in the middle knocking people over.

49:49Ben Mandelker: That's how I grew up, schlubbing around the footholds of the Himalayas.

49:52Ronnie Karam: And to prove it, they show a picture of her with a little local girl wherever she is while she's traveling. And she's like got paint on her face. Oh, yes, look at this little girl. You know, I remember this girl. I couldn't sit at her lunch table either. And she was poor. So it's amazing. My reputation really travels. I'll just say that.

50:14Ben Mandelker: You know, I spent so much of my childhood going to these war-torn countries and trying to help people and get them a better life. But then at 12, I just was sent off to boarding school and spent the rest of my time with the wealthy elites of London. So that was fun while it lasted.

50:29Ronnie Karam: My husband's Anthony, but everyone knows him, Miss Tiggy. He grew up in London, in fact, around the corner from where we live now because his family owns every square block within miles, kilometres, I should say. All right, so we met in church. He saw the blonde hair, probably the boobs, and thought, that one's for me. I mean, let's be honest. Look at these things. Gorgeous, aren't they?

50:51Ben Mandelker: Look at those two didgeridoos. You can't resist them, can you? And then it took about five years for me to finally say yes, after he asked me out a couple of times. And then, what about when you took me skiing, Tigger? Do you remember that? Like hardcore skiing. Remember when we went skiing down in an old Jilaloo mountain, going skiing down the slopes? And he's like, I was actually quite embarrassed. Yes, well, when you took me on the Tata and I nearly died. Half the words she's saying, I have no idea what she is. She's like, I'm from a jewelry town in Maribyr. And we went down the Tata. I'm like, what are you talking about?

51:24Ronnie Karam: I don't like skiing, do I? But when you gave me a big glass of champagne, the bottom I sure liked, isn't that right, Tiggy? He's like, oh, God, this is hilarious. Yeah, it's very English, isn't it? He's charming. What's the word? What's the word for rich and charming? Aristocratic. No, I didn't want to say aristocratic. I mean, but the family. His family is wonderfully positioned, let's just say.

51:47Ben Mandelker: I love that. They're a wonderfully positioned family. Well, you better plan something pretty amazing for our 20th year anniversary, Teggy. Got two years to start planning.

51:58Ronnie Karam: We're probably not going to have a tennis match, I'd guess. Look at the tennis skills on that one.

52:07Ben Mandelker: So we have an interesting, he has a very interesting family. So on one side, he's got William Wallace, Braveheart, the Scottish Knight, a rebel. And then the other side, he's got Benedict Arnold, a general who led the American Revolutionary War. And then he defected. So he was looked at as a traitor. So in other words, he comes from a bunch of people who hate England. And yet here we are, profiting off of it. It's funny.

52:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's related to Braveheart and Benedict Arnold. You know, what's funny is when either one of them were pulled over, they both were drunk. and made a lot of anti-Semitic slurs. So,

52:41Ben Mandelker: a lot in common, you know. Apparently, we're supposed to own, like, half of Pennsylvania. In fact, when I saw Mare of East Highland Town, I said, that's ours. That's ours right now. I'm going to HBO. We own this show.

52:53Ronnie Karam: I sent Kate a little message, because we're friends, of course, and I just sent her a little message, and I said, you owe me. Funny. It's funny. She got it. She got it, I'm sure. So, you know, I haven't gone back and put my stake in it yet, you know, But I suppose on my side, I'm not quite a convict, but I do go back to 13th century King Edward I of England. So, I mean, I think he married up, quite frankly.

53:19Ben Mandelker: So they're still playing tennis. I love bragging about being married to Benedict Arnold. I know, but during Benedict Arnold, I wonder if it just doesn't, like, it doesn't have the same thing in London. They probably don't care about Benedict Arnold at all. but like in America, it's like, Benedict Arnold. But they're like, whatever. He's American. Who cares? So Juliet is like, well, Tiki, no, I have two of the most beautiful children on the vice of the planet. I'm so proud of them. Could you imagine if they said, we have one of the most beautiful children and one who's just butt ugly. So I'll just get to you every thinking about them.

53:54Ben Mandelker: We have Ophelia Arabella and we have Orlando Jupiter Patrick.

53:59Ronnie Karam: What the hell? I mean, obviously it's Juliet, Romeo and Juliet. Get it? Anthony and Cleopatra, Ophelia, Orlando, you see. We have Portia, the dog, and we did have Hamlet, the rabbit. So there's that, all Shakespeare. You know, Hamlet's now in heaven, you know, just like the real ones. But Portia's almost in heaven. Of course. Yeah, but not quite. And bless her, she's quite an old Dane. I mean, none of them are dramatic at all. Clearly, clearly.

54:28Ben Mandelker: Now, why would you name the, why would you name, Why would you not name the Dane Hamlet? Isn't Hamlet the Dane? Hello. I'm just, hello. We're just trying to help you out here.

54:40Ronnie Karam: Get your Shakespeare right. What are you, cheese and chalking this up? Come on. So now they keep playing tennis. And now we go to Nessie. So Nessie, I would say, definitely is the most homemaker-y and has a stick right up her butt, which I love. Yes. I think she's probably always going to be in a floral dress of some kind and always making a perfect fruit tray for her family.

55:04Ben Mandelker: Yes. She's like, okay, make sure you give them a nice generous water. Make sure they're not on top. Okay, get these together, daughter. So she's with her daughter, Zaza, and she's sort of like bossing Zaza around, making her do something perfectly. And she's like, I'm Nessie. I'm a Londoner. I'm not a monster from Scotland. And I was born and bred here. and then she sort of does that look to the camera like yes pause for applause

55:31Ronnie Karam: yeah and she says i live with my husband remy he's an entrepreneur in the mining industry we have three children coco zaza and casper and my little golden settler charlie brown coco zaza casper coco zaza casper the children's names on this show coco zaza casper

55:51Ben Mandelker: Ophelia Arabella what's something Jupiter I mean like and then the other there's still some other ones that I just it's amazing

56:00Ronnie Karam: they're definitely giving Utah they're definitely giving Utah a run for its money with the silly names people could describe me as a trad wife I'm here for my 100 I'm here 100 for my children but I work full time and also I look after my husband trad wife yeah I'm just your

56:17Ben Mandelker: classic trad wife who also works full time in finance. So she's like making this amazing fruit platter and she goes, we live in Chelsea. Chelsea is definitely one of the best neighborhoods to live in in London. Look, look at all this footage of brands that are here. There's Burberry, which they keep on showing. And I mean, houses can go anywhere up to 85 million, but we have also a country pile in the Cotswolds where we spend weekends. It's just an ideal haven away from the chaos of London.

56:44Ronnie Karam: Yeah, we see this mansion that they have in the Cotswolds. Oh my goodness. They got some money on this show, damn.

56:51Ben Mandelker: Yeah, this cast has money. And then this child is like, Mommy, the floor's lava and that's why I'm on a blanket. And she's like, that's very lovely, but the floor's actually not lava. Don't be an imbecile. You're supposed to get good grades, get to a good university. Get on the floor and off the blanket.

57:08Ronnie Karam: Well, unfortunately for you, darling, lava melts blankets and you are now a pile of goo, burning goo. So congratulations. You've died on the living room floor. Mommy, stop your crying. My parents came to London for different reasons from different countries. My mother came here from Singapore. My dad's from Egypt. I would describe my mother as a tiger mom. And some of that may have rubbed off on me. I'm going to give us a nice break from the tiger moms being horrible storyline into tiger moms are heroes. And the reason we slap our children on the wrist is because they're little idiots and we don't want them to die young.

57:43Thank you.

57:44Ben Mandelker: Some may call me a tiger mom, but, you know, maybe that's, That might be an over-exaggeration. Get off of the blanket and step on the lava, be a real man. I know you're nine, but it is the day that you grow up.

57:57Ronnie Karam: I would describe my family as high achievers. Coco's an academic. She's incredibly clever for someone named after chocolate. And I would not be surprised if she or Casper, who is named after my favourite mattress, ends up as prime minister with gearing them up to give 110 % and going full force. And then it shows her, the little girl who's studying. And then it says, Casper. And then it has an arrow pointing to him as he's like dancing around with a blanket on his head. Casper could be prime minister. It's like, ding, that's Casper.

58:32Ben Mandelker: Yeah, that's the one. Okay, all right. Okay, it's really an amazing opportunity to be on a scholar program at one of the best boarding schools in the country. So yeah, everyone wants to do better for their kids. and my career aspirations at university was to get out and make as much money as possible and the industry that you can do that in is finance so that's why i set my sights and i did it i worked in investment banking on the trading floor and then i worked at an asset management company specifically in the last job that i was in and i just decided that i'm not enjoying this anymore and we were in a very comfortable position let's say so i made the transition to banking to baking to rearing stupid children who think the floor is actually lava.

59:13Ronnie Karam: So they're talking about her busy week. She's got so many cake orders, you guys. Do you remember Amanda? Because she asked me to make a cake for her. That's International Women's Day. And I'm the founder and CEO of the Chelsea Cake Company. And I'm a published author as well. So basically, I actually cook books, which aren't very delicious, but it does make a statement. And I'm rich, so I can do whatever I'd like.

59:39Ben Mandelker: I founded the company over 12 years ago and I've made cakes for the who's who of London. Hollywood A-listers, celebrities, Ekansu, people of the same tier and accord. And I was asked to make the Queen's 90th birthday cake and it's basically anyone who's anyone in London has tried one of my cakes. For instance, here's a photo of the Queen's 90th birthday cake. It's a square, a big square cake. So I hope she enjoyed that.

1:00:03Ronnie Karam: Square cake. She wanted it to look like it could come from the American grocery store. so that's what I did. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture without her face pushed down into the cake, but that was when there was a lot of family strife, so it wasn't a very fun birthday party for her. But, yes, here's the cake's face in one of my cakes.

1:00:23Ben Mandelker: It was awkward when Liz Truss came bouncing out of the cake and said, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. We were all appalled, quite frankly.

1:00:35Ronnie Karam: um so he's like why are you making such a fruit tray darling i mean it's a huge fruit tray she's like have you seen how much watermelon our children eat by the way never be the kind of mother who doesn't force your children to deal with watermelon seeds it builds strength i was like geez they sell seedless watermelons over there don't they it's a lot of seeds you're just begging casper to spit those seeds at his sister's face it was wild because she was

1:01:00Ben Mandelker: just talking having a normal scene and then out of nowhere there was just like an enormous canoe of watermelon in front of her i was like where did that thing come from can you even get big watermelons like that in britain i was like did she import that from somewhere i was shocked

1:01:15Ronnie Karam: congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two go look for the recap that says part two see you over there suckers watch what crappens would like to thank

1:01:31Ben Mandelker: It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

1:01:45Ronnie Karam: She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles!

1:01:49Ben Mandelker: We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less.

1:01:54Ronnie Karam: Hava Nagila Weber.

1:01:55Ben Mandelker: You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie She has no less namey She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer

1:02:06Ronnie Karam: Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch

1:02:08Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock

1:02:11Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B K-sura-sura, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sills be She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.

1:02:33Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

1:02:36Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.

1:02:41Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell, it's Raquel.

1:02:44Ronnie Karam: Yes, we canna, it's Sadana.

1:02:46Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn skippy, it's tippy.

1:02:52Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

1:02:59Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

1:03:02Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

1:03:15Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

1:03:18Ronnie Karam: Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen.

1:03:49Ben Mandelker: It's Queen La 'ifah.

1:04:06Ben Mandelker: We love you guys.

1:04:22Ronnie Karam: This episode is sponsored by McDonald's.

1:04:25Ben Mandelker: I'm having my hot Caesar summer, Ronnie. Yes. Caesar sauce. I feel like we don't talk about Caesar sauce enough because it's so, so good. I love to dip everything into it. Have you ever dipped fries in Caesar sauce before?

1:04:37Ronnie Karam: I mean, I just have. It is delicious. Caesar sauce is like a Parmesan, garlicky blend with some lemon in it. And you can dip anything in there.

1:04:45Ben Mandelker: One thing I have been known to do is to stop over at McDonald's and go to the drive-thru and get myself a Caesar snack wrap and just dip some fries in the Caesar sauce. Also, the Krispy strips in the Caesar sauce. Honestly, try it. It's really good.

1:04:59Ronnie Karam: Listen, I say if you put Caesar sauce on something, that automatically makes it better. Yes, that's really all you need is the Caesar sauce.

1:05:07Ben Mandelker: I think I just want to have just a constant supply of Caesar sauce and put it on things at all times.

1:05:13Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm a straight up French fry and Caesar sauce kind of a boy. That's what I love. And that's how I'm going to go down.

1:05:19Ben Mandelker: Right now at participating McD's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my go-to order.

1:05:28Ronnie Karam: Caesar sauce at participating McDonald's for a limited time.

1:05:31Ben Mandelker: Prices and participation may vary. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast. Hi, it's Kat and Nat, and this episode is sponsored by Michael's, your destination for all things birthday parties.

1:06:12Ben Mandelker: With seven kids between us, we're always planning a celebration. Summer is no exception. With prices starting at just 99 cents, Michael's Party Shop has over 4 ,500 party supplies across more than 60 themes for every age and every celebration. Whether your kids are into bluey, rodeos, soccer, rainbows, or something totally different, you'll find everything you need in one place. Plus, you can get a free helium inflation on select balloon styles. Shop online, pick up in-store, or get same-day delivery. visit Michael's in-store or shop online now.

From the publisher

This is part 1 of a two-part recap

We decided to check out the series premiere of Real Housewives of London, and we loved it, obvs.  Come join us as we enter a world of Wham! romances and dentistry dustups. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. 

Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker


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