#2997 RHOC S19E10 Part One: Beverly Shrillbillies

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1:54What's what crappens?

1:55Ben Mandelker: Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?

2:01Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to What's What Crappens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hey, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. I went to the ballet last night, so I feel very cultured today. Saw a lot of people dancing on their toes, jumping up in the air and stuff. So nice.

2:20Ben Mandelker: I love that you felt cultured before you had to then sit down and watch Tamara take everyone to Temecula for wine tasting.

2:27Ronnie Karam: I went to the ballet and then I came home and watched Tamara and was like, I don't know. I think I prefer my culture. I prefer the orange candy. No, the ballet was great, but I was sitting there watching it thinking, God, my back hurts just from sitting down. Like I was sitting down. I was like, oh, my back. I was like, you're sitting down. Like, what do you want to lay down at the ballet? No, sir. You have to at least sit down. And I was still in pain. I don't know how those people do it. That's a lot of work. Yeah, ballet is hard. It's really hard. Yeah, what the hell? And then I had to come home and listen to Jen talk about her disgusting, quote unquote, fatty photo.

3:04Ronnie Karam: I was like, really? Now I have to hear it from you? And that's not even a fatty photo? So I don't know. It basically scrambled my brain. But today is Real Housewives of Orange County Day. It's a Friday, which is always very exciting in these parts, because I'm sure a lot of your parts, all your parts is exciting in your parts, guys. It's Orange County today. Monday is Amazon Live Day, which is going to be super fun. That's at 4 p.m. Pacific time. OK, every other Monday. And then when we're not doing that at 530 Pacific time, we're doing crappy hour on Mondays, which is on the YouTube and the Patreon for free and the Instagram.

3:40Ronnie Karam: So check those out. If you want times and all that, just check our social Instagram. okay um i was reading that social is ruining the country right before this i was reading an article because you know the shooting and all that stuff like oh my god social media is ruining the country and i was like um no the country is ruining the country we need social media to see what jen pedranti is breaking down about so let's not get rid of social media quite yet i need it

4:07Ben Mandelker: yes well on that note let's dive into today's episode which deals with much happier topics such as Shannon going to the dermatologist's office. I got her face injected. Sophie, look at this. Isn't this hilarious? I'm getting an injection. I'm getting an injection just the way your father got an injection of slut five years ago. Is this numbing? Is this numbing? Just like that blonde slut on the beach

4:33Ronnie Karam: got an injection of David, David, David, David. Yeah, she's getting some Botox. And this is, oh, I've got Miami notes open. wrong show wrong show i was like i don't care what happens mary soul is at fault

4:49Ben Mandelker: well i would i just want to say that if people don't follow jettiket you're not on the plane

4:54Ronnie Karam: wait what am i even saying is this what i normally say jettiket am i right it's a new term i made it

4:59Ben Mandelker: up jettiket uh that's next if you ever follow marcus jordan again it will cost you a lot i I don't normally say this. What's happening?

5:10Ronnie Karam: So her daughter's there, Sophie and Sophia, Sophie. I don't know. And Sophie is cringing. She's like, oh, my God, needles. Shut up. You know, it's so easy to be 20 years old and be like, why are you even doing that to yourself? Shut up. The second you get one fucking crow's eye, your ass is going to be sitting right in that chair. I don't even want to hear it from the youth. I remember when we started this show and I was like, you know, I'm never going to get plastics. I'm not going to do any. That's ridiculous. Yeah, I was a young child back then. Now I'm like, what can you do? What can you cut off?

5:42Ronnie Karam: How much is it? Can I do it by myself at home? I'm like looking up at YouTube's like, how do I get rid of my waddle with a knife and some, you know, like with a chef's knife and some, some string. I'll do whatever I can.

5:56Ben Mandelker: Okay. Yeah. Just sew it up like a football. So actually, I think Shannon says something that feels like feels quite poetic. She says, oh, Sophie, stop with the faces. It's fine. I have no issues. This is life. Needles. Yeah. That should be a t-shirt. This is life. Needles.

6:17Ronnie Karam: It's true. That's what we need to be teaching our children. You know? Yeah. I'll tell you what isn't life. Not life is pain. Life is needles. Just shut the fuck up. You want your face to move? Then shut the fuck up and get this needle.

6:30Ben Mandelker: I'll tell you what life is. I was is I wish life were those things that, you know, they take, you know, when you, when you like, when you trash something in the junkyard and they have those compressors, they just squish it down into a little metal little pancake, you know, to save space. I wish life were that. And it happened to Ryan's is cyber truck, because of course this guy has a cyber truck. Because Ryan and Jen washing his cyber truck. Like, of course. Yes. I mean, I mean, first rule of Cybertruck is that you also wear denim with paint splatters on it. I mean, everyone knows that, but here he is washing, washing this, or as he calls it, the cyber beast, praying, praying that there is a safe, no one gets hurt, totaling of the scar.

7:19Ronnie Karam: a trash compactor i saw that final destination movie the most recent one someone got killed in a trash compactor and i was like what a way to go what a way to go um and if you're messing around

7:31Ben Mandelker: if you're near a trash compactor you know you're gonna get final destination right like there's certain things where it's like okay like um a board game falls over and it knocks a picture frame into a camera lens and the camera lens rolls and knocks a glass of water into an outlet and get electrocuted in. Okay, that's a freak accident. But if you're wandering around...

7:51Ronnie Karam: Because they even saw it coming. They were like, oh no, it's a truck. Get out of the way. Get out of the way of the garbage truck. And they were like, oh my God, we're saved. But then this girl started jogging and like a baseball hit her in the head and she fell into a trash can, which flipped her into the... They flipped it over into the... It was so stupid and amazing. And yes, I... That's actually hilarious. It's like slapstick now. Yeah, the final destination. So it's like the most fun ways to die. But yeah, I was thinking about that with the Cybertruck. Shove it in there. You know, get that final destination for sure.

8:22Ronnie Karam: Washing the Cyber Beast. That man is going to cheat on you. If there weren't already the signs of you, that man was cheating with you in the parking lot of the gym already, that he will cheat on you in the future. This man has, this man will cheat on you. He's going to cheat on you. Within two years. I'm going to say within two years from now. Yeah.

8:42Ben Mandelker: I think Carrie Underwood is like ready to write a song about him. It's not even before he cheats. It's like when, during, and as he continues to cheat. That will be her next song. Yeah.

8:53Ronnie Karam: He's probably already cheating. So then we go to Heather's penthouse and she's got a bunch of like Fendi delivered to her because she's so rich. Yes.

9:04Ben Mandelker: Look at my fabulous penthouse life with my husband. We have hilarious rapport. Oh, no. He's seeing me open up the packages. he's not supposed to see that that is bad the joke is that husbands don't like when wives

9:21Ronnie Karam: shop all the time it might affect our sexy times which we are currently having in our other penthouse upstairs that is only for sexy times you see in comedy they have a concept called

9:34Ben Mandelker: set up and punchline. And the setup is we are in a penthouse and he is a doctor earning money and I'm spending his money too much and he doesn't realize, but he caught me. And therefore what we have is a comedic moment that happens. Yes, I am taking him.

9:54Ronnie Karam: So back at the dermatologist, now Sophie's getting a facial and the esthetician's like, you're going to look like a glazed donut. Oh, really? And gentle either, probably. Sorry, this is my scene. Sorry to get it in there. Sorry, I don't know why everybody's so mad at me. I don't know why.

10:13Ben Mandelker: This mother stopped biting my face. Oh, I heard something about a glazed donut. I'm so sorry, daughter. So Shannon's like, I will absolutely encourage my girls to do the most natural anti-aging procedures because we know facelifts are expensive. That was a joke, a callback. So when I received what I thought was a gift for a facelift and turned out it was alone by a pathetic man who's now marrying a pathetic woman.

10:41Ronnie Karam: Thank you. I'll tell you what was free. The boyfriend lift, which Alexis Molino gave me. So enjoy your lifted boyfriend. Stolen. Boyfriend. Bitch. Killer. So Shannon's like, I will absolutely encourage my girls to do the most natural anti-aging procedures because, yes, Ben already said that line. So in the waiting room, Shannon picks up a call, and it's from...

11:31me but whatever dumb bitch come on shannon shannon has a look on her face like she is in fact

11:39Ben Mandelker: participating in final betch donation because she knows if she tries to avoid this like tamra will come for her it's like it's it's inevitable she will be put into an emotional trash compactor because you cannot avoid tamra she's like well oh right okay well i guess i i guess i could do i guess i could do that thank you for the invitation she's like clearly does not want to do this but knows like she has to she absolutely has to do this and yeah she's already she's already like

12:06Ronnie Karam: preparing mentally for how horrible this will be oh come on shannon it's a gigantic house it's a swimming pool you could wear your bikini it's gonna be so funny we're gonna take a picture in your bikini come on shannon it's gonna be me i'm not really very excited about a bikini oh well you I'll have to. I mean, if you're a wussy, bet you could if your big son woman doesn't mind. Come on, let's take a picture of the bikini, Shannon.

12:34Ben Mandelker: Come on, do you want to go? Because I think it'd just be great just to reunite and have some fun. It's going to be so much fun, bitch, to make you loud. Oh, okay, well, have a good day. You know, I'm very hesitant to go on this trip. I just want to hang up the phone, but like she's trying to do, she's trying to better herself, which matters, and my concern is going on the trip is I don't know which camera I am going to get. Am I going to laugh like I did in New Orleans with her? Or am I going to cry and sob like I did in New Orleans with her anytime I was with her?

13:06Ronnie Karam: So then we go to Amina, a clothing and lifestyle store. And Emily's here. So Emily is shopping with Tamara, and she's like, wow, it's so expensive. Wow, it's good to be expensive, right? I'm just so tired because Annabelle had a cheer competition this morning and I have a son who might possibly have autism.

13:28Ben Mandelker: What am I supposed to do?

13:30Ronnie Karam: What am I supposed to do?

13:33Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I saw on Instagram. That was hilarious. So Emily's like, yeah, Gina was there too. I mean, normally we're not doing the same stuff, but we hung out. Yeah, I can find another person who's going through it like me. So Emily's saying this really compelling story about how she went to a cheer meet, But then Gina was there too. And they were both there. So it was exciting. So then Emily tells us, and by the way,

13:58Ronnie Karam: any mom of a cheerleader knows this pain, you know? And I don't like to, I don't like to have anything in common with Emily because I find her painfully annoying, but I do keep sandwiches in my purse. And also I've done, I've gone to a lot of these cheerleading competitions, but they are hell. They are hell on wheels. Okay. You have to wake your kid up. They put all this, you should see, have you seen the kids at these cheerleading? Have you seen the makeup and the hair, the Aquanet alone, the ribbons, the hair? I mean, it's ridiculous. They do get up hours early and then the moms go out there and the dads have to wear their pink sparkle T-shirts and stuff.

14:33Ronnie Karam: Everybody gets really into it. And you were there all fucking day surrounded by screaming, obnoxious little beasts, you know. And then they get out there and you're like, holy shit, how do these kids have this much talent? What the hell? My back hurts sitting down. Why am I always thinking that? Yeah.

14:50Ben Mandelker: It seems like an awful activity. So Emily tells us for something that's called cheer, it really seems to elicit a lot of growth. It doesn't induce a lot of that. It does not. So Emily, I want to give some props to Emily because obviously she has an interview look this season that's not her finest. We've all seen it, and I think we're all just trying to be polite about it, but it's not a great look for her. she debuted a new interview look that actually is like pretty banging so i'm like i'm happy to see that her pendulum swung the other way so i just want to give her props i think people deserve their flowers when they when they when they grow them so i'm going to give her some props for that before i probably totally thrash her the rest of the episode i don't even notice it is like watching

15:39Ronnie Karam: the trash compactor scene of final destination because when an emily a new emily look comes on I just close my eyes. Like, I'm not, I can't, I'm all. The one she's rocked this year,

15:48Ben Mandelker: that one, the ponytail is like, there's certain housewives looks over the years that just go in. They just sort of go in the books. Like we'll always remember Teresa with the big, like Mad Max shoulders. And I mean, that's to me like the chief number one, like misstep. I don't know. I'm trying. I can't even think of actually any other, like really, really bad ones, but this Emily one is right up there. I have to say, and Gretchen too, but really the Emily one.

16:15Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So now we're at the Brandt Kitchen and Bar and Gina is going to have lunch with Jen and Shannon. We're just, well, look at us. What a group. Is this the first time we've ever been together? I think so. Probably. Is it the last time? Hopefully. Can we get Marilyn Monroe in here? I only had 15 minutes to get dressed. That's the name of every Gina look of all time.

16:42Ben Mandelker: I know. That's her vision board. She is like, she is the Rachel Ray of styling.

16:49Ronnie Karam: 15 minutes or less.

16:53Ben Mandelker: No shit. Sorry, I'm sorry you were not able to make a haute couture look for this Mozambique adjacent restaurant you guys are at right now.

17:03Ronnie Karam: The brand. And Jen's like, oh, well, thank you so much for coming. I mean, you're such a hot cheer mom. Look at you. Look at you. You're so hot. And you're so cheer. Thank you. We're doing second place, and Annabelle's on two teams. This is crazy.

17:19Ben Mandelker: And she's like, oh, Emily was here, too. So Gina's like. Yeah, Emily loves, like, cheerleading, and she was, like, a cheerleader. And, like, I loathe cheerleading. Like, but Sienna's so fucking happy, and she's so nice to me. Like, I've got spirit. Yes, I do.

17:36Ronnie Karam: And then we see a picture of Emily as a cheerleader, I guess, in junior high or something. and you really see the difference that 20 years makes or 30 years, whatever it is, because those girls didn't have to do their hair and their makeup like that. I mean, she came out with all stringy hair and shit. She was just like, I just got up. I guess we'll do some cheering. Go, go, sis, go, or whatever. And now they have to.

18:01Ben Mandelker: It's cold in here. There must be a new hip in the atmosphere.

18:05Ronnie Karam: There must. Burr, it's cold in here. There must be a chicken sandwich in my purse.

18:12Ben Mandelker: Sorry, girls. My team is a tuna sandwich, and we're going to eat you up.

18:22Ronnie Karam: So they order, and they do very Orange County ordering. Oh, well, we'll have the asparagus fries. Asparagus fries. We'll have an oddity. We'll have, how about just a piece of lettuce with a side of ranch, But put the side of ranch on the other table. I don't want to be tempted.

18:44Ben Mandelker: Do you have sweet potatoes? Now, can you actually peel those sweet potatoes for me? Great. We will take the sweet potato peels and nothing else. Thank you so much. Thank you.

18:54Ronnie Karam: So they make small talk. And then Shannon mentions, well, Jen mentions, I guess, Temecula first. Temecula. Temecula, guys. Temecula. Temecula doesn't sound pretty. I don't like the name of the place, but it looks very pretty. Have you ever been to Temecula?

19:10Ben Mandelker: I have been to Temecula. It is pretty. I went to a corn maze there. They used to have a giant corn maze. I don't know if they still do it. And then I went to some wineries afterwards. It was nice. But it was definitely like trashy nights, if that makes sense. We went to one wine. We went to different vineyards. There's one vineyard that was like gargoyles. And it was like a weird medieval fantasy theme. I was like, this is strange. But yeah, it was weird. But I think the name Temecula just does not sound bougie or whatever. It's like we're going Temecula. Yeah, it needs to be like a Santa something, right?

19:49Ronnie Karam: Like, oh, we're going to Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara, Santa something.

19:55Ben Mandelker: So when Jen says, I like when Jen says, I said yes to Temecula. Because I feel like that is actually so much of what her persona is. I mean, I feel like Ryan is like Temecula. She's like, when she says I said yes to Temecula, that's like her saying, I also said yes to the Cybertruck. I said yes to Ryan. I said yes to a bikini beach wedding.

20:15Ronnie Karam: Well, I don't want to answer the question because I'm just not, I'm not ready for, you know, I can't go back to the friendship. I just can't do it. I'm good with just sitting where I am right now. Right now, right here. Do you think we could move tables, actually? It's very, very warm right here with the sun coming in. I just had face stuff done.

20:35Ben Mandelker: I need a cushion seat, actually, so I wonder if we actually could move. So we go back to Tamara. We're going to cross-cut between the scenes. Tamara's like, so I decided to take a few girls to Temecula and I invited Shannon to go. And when I called her, the girl was a hot mess. Her hair's sticking up. Her boobs are spilling out of her shirt. Look at her. She looks stupid. I'm like, she was getting facial work done. What are you trying to, what case, like you cannot act like you're trying to build a bridge with Tamara while you're also, with Shannon while you're also building a case against her.

21:03Ben Mandelker: Like already setting the, establishing a tone. She's psycho. Look at her. She's drunk and she's out of sorts. We looked at your green face for like three weeks on social media last year, okay? Like, stop coming for Shannon over this. That's so funny, though. It's so Tamara.

21:19Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I bought it. I bought it Shannon's makeup. She looks so ugly and stupid. Hope she'll be my friend again, ugly bitch. So she's... And also when she says her boobs are spilling out of her shirt shannon's shirt was like up to here it was like up to her is that your navel what is this part your collarbone it was like up to her collarbone and shannon's like oh my god i'm

21:45Ben Mandelker: giving up that treatment so okay it's the bra it's just it's the bra i'm out of sorts because they've turned my daughter into a donut i don't know if i'm happy or sad about that

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23:03Ben Mandelker: This episode is supported by FX's The Shards, a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy. Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the series follows a group of glamorous, deeply entangled high school seniors drawn into a life of wealth, beauty, parties, and excess.

23:20Ronnie Karam: At its center is Brett, whose reality begins to unravel when the arrival of a new student coincides with a series of mysterious murders.

23:29Ben Mandelker: FX's The Shards premieres August 5th on FX and Hulu. So, I was like, yeah, I said, hey, Shannon, I was all like, and I was all like, eppy, and like, you know, and she was like, oh, I was like, we're going to do this and this and this and this, and she's like, huh, huh. I'm like, why are you, it was a perfectly benign phone call, and Shannon's response was totally normal, and she was probably thinking, wow, I'm FaceTiming with Tamara, and she's probably going to make fun of my appearance now, so she's probably guarded, and guess what you're doing, making fun of her appearance.

23:59Ronnie Karam: And so she says, yeah, I guess my delivery was bad last year with Shannon. Okay, my delivery was bad. I wish they had put in, you drunk up in this stupid bitch. I hope you die on the fire, you dumb, ugly twat. They didn't. And so she's like, yeah, I feel so bad about it. But, you know, we've got history there. We've been friends for tomorrow. I like the Broadway history. So, you know, I could be a friend if we just stop holding the grudge. with camera is never what she did it's always to see you just keep holding on to it if you could just let it go we could get on with this come on keep it moving there are a lot of things that have

24:40Ben Mandelker: history and there doesn't just because you have history does not mean it's a good history okay you could look at various regions of the world right now that have a lot of history and it's

24:47Ronnie Karam: not working out so well okay girl literally read history it's not a happy story okay have you been No one's like, I need a feel good read today. I'm going to read history.

25:03Ben Mandelker: She's like, we have history. Yeah. And your history is of you two fighting for 10 years straight. Okay. Yeah. So. Just have all the words about it. Yeah. Stupid bitch. So then she goes, okay, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. What else do you want her to say? And we're like, well, sounds like it'll be a fun trip. I'm going to do something a lot more fun, which is have a very orchestrated and unpleasant and cold sleepover in Beverly Hills. But we'll get to that later. Have fun.

25:41Ronnie Karam: So then at the other place, Shannon's like, well, I called my therapist before I came here. And she said, would you like that biggie sized? I said, hold on a second. so i called my real one and she said well you've been very clear that you are able to exist with boundaries and you should not go on this trip absolutely not so i'm gonna go i'm gonna go because the girls are like well you should come for me i mean you should come for me we're so close aren't we we don't want to be stuck alone with her okay please come with us and that's what she said

26:12Ben Mandelker: she said well my you know i said to her i said my friends are gonna say you know come for us we'll be there. We'll have fun. And then my therapist said, ma 'am, this is the Kind Bar World headquarters. There was not an actual therapy office. And I said, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to call you by accident, but do you have any customer service agents? I would like another shipment. And they said, ma 'am, you have to get off the phone. Anyway, so I'll be going to Temecula.

26:35Ronnie Karam: So, yeah, they talk her into it. And then back at the store, Emily's like, wait, so you invited Shannon. Who else is going to come? I'm Shannon. You know, I'm the best girl fans. Um, and so Tamara's like, yeah, Shanna's going to be a tough one to crack, but Gina can be the mediator. Girl, Gina has started most of the fights that you're in with everybody because Gina and Emily go around stirring the pot. How, in what world is Gina going to be a mediator for anybody that can be reliable? Come on.

27:08Ben Mandelker: She is not. She is a median that drunk drivers crash across. She's a mediator. She's not, she is not, I do not want to rely on Gina for this. Gina's so to be immediate.

27:23Ronnie Karam: She's just a mediator. She just survives to be mid.

27:30Ben Mandelker: So Emily is like, well, by the way, you should have taken Gretchen too. Then it could have just been a whole kumbaya bonding moment for you, Tamara. Tamara's like, yeah, that's a bit too much for me right now. So then back at the other restaurant, Jen is like, you know, if she's really taking the time, Shannon, and working on herself, then let's be here. We're the bigger people. Yeah, literally bitch. Hey, who said that?

27:53Ronnie Karam: We've definitely got the biggest triangular trucks. So, let's thank you so much. So Gina's like, clearly, there's things that you have behind the surface. So let's look at it like an opportunity to possibly clear some things out. Okay? Let's keep it light. You could wear a sun hat. Oh, yeah, let's find men for you. Let's find men for you. We'll just sit in gym parking lots and wait for someone to show up. I'm sure of it, Shannon. I believe in you. I believe in you, Shannon.

28:23Ben Mandelker: Shannon, open the snack hole. Dust it off. Are we talking about my purse? What do you mean, the snack hole? No, the snack hole. You know, the granola crucci. You know what I'm talking about? I'm not following. That's a slang of some sort. Your vagina. What? Oh, gin. Well, that was a lot. It's a lat gen.

28:44Ronnie Karam: A snack hole? I don't know either. The fuck is a snack hole? Is it a vagina? The rest of the jumping machine.

28:56Ben Mandelker: The snack hole. The rest of the... The rest of the coil.

29:04Ronnie Karam: So then... The skin. We get... Yeah, I can't think about it. It's breaking my brain. my brain is melting out of my ears so um then we go to podcast one where heather dubro is recording okay this is the most horrifying fucking shot to open this scene it's a close-up of heather's i'm gonna do it for crappens on demand i i had nightmares when i went to bed this is heather's face close-up on a giant poster in her podcast it's like

29:37Ronnie Karam: it is i know exactly what it is what is that look she's i'm like please don't hurt me please i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i brought your water to the table too late ma 'am it's like the look that every busboy gets when he messes up you know the the plating or whatever the

29:56Ben Mandelker: breading of the table yeah it's very much it was sort of like reminded me of like the post art for Fright Night growing up. So, um, so Heather's like, Steve, Steve, can I check the headset level? Is Alfredo here? Can Alfredo check the levels for me? Anyone? Hello? Testing, one, two, three. Testing, one, two, three. Televisions. Heather Dubrow. Testing, one, two, three, two, three, one, two, three. Steve. Steve, it's Steve, right? Um, my name is Joanne. Steve, okay. Could you check the levels?

30:28Ronnie Karam: Rich, rich, rich, rich, rich. Rich, rich, rich, rich, rich. Rich, Rich, Rich, Rich. Do we have it? Okay. From the top.

30:36Ben Mandelker: It's like I always tell my servants how many paces they have to stand behind me. Three, two, one. Okay, we're live.

30:46Ronnie Karam: So she's like, I've always done my podcast in Beverly Hills. But ever since we've moved back to LA, it's opened incredible doors for me. I feel like I've been given a very special opportunity to use this podcast to promote voices that don't usually get heard. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having, not you. Please get out of here. Not you, Jen.

31:08Ben Mandelker: So in walks Dylan Mulvaney and sits down for the podcast and she's like, okay, everyone, let's talk with Heather Dubrow starts now. Well, my guest today, I've known her for a while. She's the most fabulous person. please welcome dylan mulvaney and so dylan's like hi how's it going whatever and of course somewhere gretchen rossi was having a very difficult time listening to this episode i'm sure

31:34Ronnie Karam: uh let me just say dylan mulvaney shows up in full heather dubrow cosplay which i loved i mean dressed just like her acting just like her it was it was weird they were like sisters and she's like oh heather i just where did we meet heather i forgot where we met where was it again oh kathy hilton's house of course god i'm over there all the time i just love old kath don't you oh sure sure very much you know what was fun do you remember when i turned around to introduce you to reba mcintyre but then we realized that reba wasn't invited

32:18Ben Mandelker: and Dylan's like yeah she was like one of the first celebrities I ever met you know she's like I would have sworn you were a cis woman I mean you know she didn't say cis but I was just like just was just one of those pinch me moments and well oh gosh you know you played my remember remember you played my mom in a in a music video well you know of course I did uh Syracuse University I was the lead in Anything Goes. I guess anything went. That was a great role. Thank you so much, Dylan, for offering it to me.

32:44Ronnie Karam: Oh, it just makes me so emotional, Heather. I mean, not every woman in this town would do that for me. You know, transness is very polarizing. And so is Portum, isn't it? God.

32:57Ben Mandelker: Yeah, those extremists also want to make someone like you scared to support someone like me. And it's so funny because so many people are just generally scared to even be near me. So I understand.

33:09Ronnie Karam: I don't understand transness per se, but I do understand people being terrified of you. Isn't it great? No, no, I don't mean it that way. I mean, really, every time I walk into a room, cleaning ladies start running around. You know, last week, a gardener hid behind a bush as I came down the walk. It felt so good.

33:31Ben Mandelker: I said, Alfredo, get back to work. Stop hiding from that bush. Oh, man. And, you know, every mom is worried about their children's safety. So am I concerned about the world and how they perceive the queer community? Yes, I'm worried. And just like I always tell Gretchen Rossi, so lovely to see you again. Anyway, back to this.

33:53Ronnie Karam: I know. I was like, you might want to start in your own backyard.

34:00Ronnie Karam: Although Gretchen, you know, is trying to repair her shit reputation that she's earned by following, letting Slade go on her Instagram and follow random queer accounts. It's like Gretchen Rossi now following queer news. Oh, really? Wow. Branting out there, Gretchen. Gretchen. Hey, everybody. This is just me. Just me hanging out with seven of my closest Asian friends in Orange County. God, I love Asians. This is so fun. Right after she got in trouble for her, you know, shitty post that she did with Jet on there. I think these people.

34:38Ben Mandelker: These people. I know. And next week, it's Gretchen going to a gay bar. So we'll see how that goes. I was like, I was rooting for you, Gretchen. I was really enjoying your comeback.

34:49Ronnie Karam: Well, to be fair, I was never rooting for you.

34:52Ben Mandelker: So that felt good. well you know it's like that whole like the enemy of my enemy is my friend but then when you find out that your friend has problematic views you're like well now what so heather uh is like anyway i know that my kids are lucky because they have a supportive family they have resources they have yachts they have two penthouses an apartment all in the same building but i know a lot of kids don't have those things they usually only have one penthouse so it's difficult i'm sure it's very

35:23Ronnie Karam: difficult for those children. I don't speak to them, but I'm sure that it's difficult.

35:31Ben Mandelker: That's my handout. Godiva chocolates to the poor.

35:36Ronnie Karam: So basically, Heather is like, I'm going to do what I can to stand up for the richest trans people I can find. So it was actually a nice scene. She says bye to Dylan. But yeah, you got to make fun of by Heather Zane. So then we go to Mission Viejo Animal Services. Oh my God, please say you have someone hot to help us. I don't know what Emily has done to her face like lately, but she's I think over-injected because I don't know if you noticed, but in these scenes, like one of her eyes is kind of more closed and they're kind of crying at all times. She's like crying the whole episode. Like she doesn't even know it.

36:18Ronnie Karam: I don't even know what she's focusing on. What's happening over there? It's just there are just so many things that are wrong with this one look. And by the way, my eyes haven't worked right for two months now since I got my shit done. So it's not even really a judgment as much as like, what is it? How much did it cost? And what are the benefits? And where can I get it? So I'm literally looking for an answer.

36:43Ben Mandelker: It's, yeah. It's like a welder's mask.

36:49Ben Mandelker: It's a welder's mask with a little gap in the middle. that's sort of what's happening anyway I swear I'm a good person so Emily is like oh I'm a good hi I'm Emily nice to meet you I'm here I'm here to help with dogs and cats and she's and she's saying they're just they're gonna help with animals and everything so she's they have to go to like they wind up going to the cattery which I loved because the cats were so cute and they wind up and Jenna's not Jenna Jen is there helping Emily and they're Cleaning out poop, which is, again, another visual metaphor on the show, except the poop. The litter box never seems to get quite cleaned, does it, on Real Housewives of Orange County?

37:30Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so they're volunteering and cleaning up and stuff, and they've got, like, a semi-hot guy. And he walks them around, and he's like, okay, guys, well, here's your next volunteering opportunity, playing with puppies. Like, oh, thank you so much. I just love playing with puppies. I adopt so many pets. I've got, like, five, six, seven, eight, 10, 12, 30 cats at a time. It's great. Pete, man's going to leave me. Do you think Brian's cheating on me? Yes, I definitely do. Can I see a picture of him? Yes. Matt is cheating on you.

38:00Ben Mandelker: You know, the catter is nothing, okay? Be a mom. Vomit, boogers, human poop, you know, paint on denim, cyber trucks. It's really easy. When Dawson was little, he dumped a cup of roly-polies in my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I mean, I could go on for days. Like, wait, why does he have a cup of roly-polies? and like why did you let him get so close to your like was the sandwich open face were you in the process of making it like how did this like there was a failure of parenting before this happened

38:29Ronnie Karam: i'm telling you this right now walking around with the cup collecting roly-polies and when his mom wasn't looking put some roly-polies in the sandwich i mean come on he's a he's a young boy ben what do

38:38Ben Mandelker: you think and that boy grew up to be a young man who could teach some middle-aged women how to play volleyball on the beach so um they are cleaning out the cattery and then they go they play with a bunch of insanely cute dogs but you know this is what always happens you know that all these like shelters and these very good organizations whenever like a tv camera shows up they're like get the cute ones out front come on the cute ones get the three-legged one back in the trunk all

39:06Ronnie Karam: right

39:10Ronnie Karam: i don't want to get on the reputation of the orange candy cattery come on they they all become

39:16Ben Mandelker: like the stage moms they become gypsy rosalie for all these animals like come on yeah they're like

39:23Ronnie Karam: perming their hair during all their makeup spraying their hair so now they're talking about about Luke again. And she's like, I just can't, I don't have the proper vocabulary about Luke. I don't know what to do, but we're not being very good parents. We're going to get divorced. I'm leaving him. I'm leaving Jane. I'm leaving Jane. Oh, just do it already. You've been saying this for six years.

39:46Ben Mandelker: And, you know, then we see a flashback of, like, Luke is sitting at the table and Emily tells Luke to sit up. I don't remember exactly what she said, but she said in a way that was like, sit up. And I was like, you know, you're putting your child on blast on this on on tv for talking like having baby talk but i just watched you give your child baby talk and shane is like okay like let's not do that like that's enabling i'm like look parenting i don't know i don't know anything about parenting but as far as like from what i'm seeing on on on this show it's like maybe don't talk to your child like a baby if you don't want your child to talk like a baby back to you i'm just gonna put that out there um and whether it's my place two are not it's probably not my place but you know what it's a podcast so well yeah i mean it's

40:32Ronnie Karam: it's just the examples they're showing i'm just not i guess i'm just not seeing what she's seeing because to me it just looks like kind of kid behavior i mean the behavior that's kind of freaking me out is emily's behavior like going on tv and being like i mean well you know i've got this kid and the other kids don't even like him and like you know they're annoyed with him all the time and so i've tried it your kid has to watch this like just shut up find something else to do go back to get a fucking tuna sandwich in your purse like she's disturbing i think she's being i'm not saying anything about the kid because i don't really know except what they're showing us on here but he seems like a perfect like he seems like a perfectly sweet kid that she's absolutely um she's it's her behavior that i'm not liking on the tv i just don't like yeah The kid's lovely.

41:23Ronnie Karam: She says, Luke knows that his brother and sister are irritated by him. And that hurts my heart because then Keller came to me the other day. And he said, Mom, can I go to therapy too? Because I'm just really sad about everything and I don't have anyone to talk to. So now, I'm like, okay. So it's making me crazy. I want to go pick up those kids in my auntie van and be like, okay, who has feelings? Let's talk about them, okay? You should not blame anybody but my mother, okay?

41:57Ben Mandelker: Well, I mean, look, I mean, in many ways, Emily is giving the gift that keeps on giving, which is mommy issues for life. So Emily is just saying how she's come to the realization that she focused all her time and attention on Luke, and it was actually detrimental to her other children, and she thought that they didn't need her as much, but actually they do need her in a different way. So she's going through that. I mean, I, I, I'm with you in that, like, it's uncomfortable to think that these kids may see this someday and this could be actually very damaging for them. But you know, I also do, you know, I, I appreciate that she's being emotionally vulnerable, but yeah, it's a, it's a weird one for me.

42:35Ben Mandelker: It's definitely a weird thing. I'm glad she came to the realization that she needs to pay attention to all her kids.

42:41Ronnie Karam: There's an emotionally vulnerable and then there's just like using, using your kids for like plot line and stuff. I mean, Emily's on here sobbing every year about something. You know, it's like every year she picks something new. I'm just like, leave your kids alone. Like, just leave them alone. And I know it's housewives and they talk about their kids. You know, like on Salt Lake City, we see Mary's kid going through stuff. Like he just got arrested this week. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that people talk about on camera that it's like, but these are little, little kids. And having to hear your mom saying like, well, you know, I'm giving, you know, he annoys his brothers and sisters.

43:13Ronnie Karam: Like they don't really, like they basically don't want to be around him. And I don't know. It's just kind of ostracizing this kid even more. It's just seems like you're going to be doing a lot more damage.

43:23Ben Mandelker: And I've gotten some messages from people who are like, I've dealt with something that's very similar and it's really hard. It's actually a little hard to hear, you know, like you don't really know what, what it is. And it's very, very difficult and it's a little triggering to hear. And I get that a hundred percent, but I also have to just react to what I'm seeing on TV. Like I'm watching this stuff. These are the thoughts going through my mind. And whether they are rooted in total bullshit, in total, like a guy who has no kids and has no experience in that, that's just, that may be, but like it is what I, it's what I see and it's what I feel.

43:56Ben Mandelker: And it's like, what's being put out here. And also it's like, if Emily doesn't want people sort of like two guys on a podcast yammering about it, there is an element of like, well, maybe, maybe don't put that on the show.

44:07Ronnie Karam: Well, I'm not saying about anything about his future diagnosis, whatever that may be. I'm just saying Emily's an asshole. It's the same thing I say every day.

44:20Ronnie Karam: One thing my mom loves is to bargain hunt. She will go to a garage sale, to a flea market, any old sale at the mall. I'm taking her from sale to sale to sale to sale. And I finally found someplace online that I can just park her and she'll have the time of her life. And that is WhatNot.

44:37Ben Mandelker: WhatNot is an app that does live shopping. There's a whole community there. on whatnot you're connecting with sellers and other shoppers and it's kind of like hanging out with the group that gets you and this is like a really fun way to shop you never pay full price

44:53Ronnie Karam: there you can shop name brands across makeup perfume clothes handbags jewelry and more all without the sticker shock it's the best place to find great deals on products you love and there

45:04Ben Mandelker: are amazing sellers with great great taste and they're going live all the time like 24 7. you They'll just show you like close up of clothes. You'll be like, hey, can I get, can I see that a little bit closer? I want to see that detail on that shirt. And they will show it to you because it's real time.

45:19Ronnie Karam: And you can sell too. Do you have clothes, bags, or accessories sitting in your closet that you don't reach for anymore? Whatnot makes it easy to turn them into cash. Connect with shoppers who share your style and have fun going live while doing it.

45:31Ben Mandelker: It's amazing what you can find on there. I literally just purchased a mid-century modern dance yellow paella pan for$35. and I've seen it listed elsewhere on the internet for$80. It was a bargain.

45:45Ronnie Karam: Download WhatNot today and get$20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Search WhatNot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T in the App Store, sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with$20 off and free shipping on your first purchase.

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46:45Ronnie Karam: so then we go to tamara's house and um she's with sophia who really is a bright light in this this world i've really come to love this sophia chick uh i think she's fine i think she's so funny she's fine i just i don't have any i don't have I like alt-right teenage daughter who just knows her mom's insane. And she's just like, oh, God. I'm not alt-right. Like alt-rock. Did I say alt-right? You said alt-right.

47:15Ben Mandelker: I was like, what?

47:16Ronnie Karam: No, I'm so sorry. That's Ryan. No, I didn't even mean. I guess I like that she's all over. But the alt-rock. Joan Jett. Yeah. She's just like this rocker girl who knows that her mom's fucking insane. And has just chosen to be amused by it. You know, because you can see that it's just a decision like, OK, this one's nuts. So I'm just going to choose to smile. So she she goes, oh, my God, you're packing. Where are you going now? Jesus. God, mother. Temecula.

47:48Ben Mandelker: Temecula. Where else? Heaven. Heaven, Macula. Where's Macula? The dreams. Temecula. When you're feeling down and feeling out, where do you go? to macula when you're feeling sad and feeling bad where do you go to macula you know that song no fuck that song it's like it's like mother doesn't even rhyme okay i'm a songwriter now

48:16Ronnie Karam: can we work some cannibalistic references into that so she wants to wear a certain outfit and sophia's like oh yeah looks like you got dressed in the dark so then we go to jen packing with um her cyber truck and then we go to gina's and uh gina's talking to travis and he's like uh just want you to know it's not totally normal to just get a brand new wardrobe for every trip you go on okay women and shopping am i right excuse me producers i refuse to film on this show as long

48:50Ben Mandelker: as that sort of attitude persists that is absolutely ridiculous you know i thought like saw that at home and was horrified at Travis.

48:57Ronnie Karam: This is why we hide boxes from menfolk.

49:04Ben Mandelker: Am I right? So then Shannon is with Archie. Okay, Archie, I'm going to tell you exactly how long I'm going to be gone. One night and two days. So no more late night drunken walking on the side of the street in Newport, okay? You got that, mister?

49:22Ronnie Karam: um and uh archie just ignores her and goes outside she's like archie where did you go and then we just see archie like getting it on with his stuffed animal it's like yeah yeah temecula brings it out in me so then we go over to emily another man leaves me behind to

49:36Ben Mandelker: have sex with something younger and more attractive thank you so much archie

49:42Ronnie Karam: stupid blonde bear on the beach so then we go to emily's house and heather calls and she's like, well, I'm just sitting here with Luke. He got out of school. What are you doing? Nothing. I just thought it would be fun to do a little sleepover at my place. Wouldn't that be fun? I've opened the servant's door's entrance for you.

50:03Ben Mandelker: I'm going to invite Gretchen and we're going to go out for dinner, maybe go to a bar. You know me, carefree Heather Dubrow. It'll be a nice laid back, simple time where I may put out five platters of hors d 'oeuvres and have servants come by and bring us cocktails. Oh, sounds great.

50:21Ronnie Karam: I'm so excited to have you. Please only bring a clear purse. Thanks.

50:31Ronnie Karam: So Emily's like, all right. Oh, okay. Now, Luke, you got to watch dad for me. Doesn't do well when I'm not around. Okay, you need to babysit dad. He's like, I need$10. Oh, you want to get to pay to babysit your dad?

50:44Ben Mandelker: I think this kid's doing great. Yeah, so my diagnosis is... I know. You know, his business sense is already way better than anything we've seen from Ryan over the past 15 years. No kidding.

50:58Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So then back at Tamara's, what are the girls... What girls are going? Say, oh, well, there's Jen. Really, Jen? Yeah, we made up. Okay. And Shannon, Shannon's been going. Shannon's going? Yeah, she's been hot and cold with me. Mostly cold because she's gross. You should have seen her when I called her a hair. We're thinking that she got boobs everywhere. What a pet.

51:22Ben Mandelker: I got Shannon a book. If she's going to be a pet, you want to see it? She's like, oh, God, because the book is called How Not to Be a Miserable Cow. Sophia's like, you really can't help yourself. She's like, it's a self-help book for cows, which is what Shannon is. She's like, mom. And it's also got big type, okay? Because it says how not to be a miserable cow. Don't you get it? Don't you get it? She's like, Mom, this is a passive-aggressive book. She knows that. And look, because she's so old and she can't read things well, big font, big font patch.

51:54Ronnie Karam: And look, it's written by David, David, David, David. She's going to love it. She's like, Mom, this is just diss after diss. You're like, oh, you're a miserable human and you're a bitch who can't see? Wow. Great, Mom. You can't help but be petty. She's like, yeah, it's good at that.

52:11Ben Mandelker: Oh, my God. Back to my house. Tamara's relationships with Jen and Shannon Are like very fragile And I kind of feel like I'm in the middle of that And Travis is like well You're going to be directly in the middle of that I understand that But like the other day I brought up to her And that I thought it was kind of crappy That she called out Shannon And was mean to her about the drinking

52:33Ronnie Karam: This is so Gina Oh my god Like it's so hard to be in the middle Which is why I went out with Shannon And I told her Remember that Tamara called you a stupid drug whore Oh, last year? Yeah. So hopefully it's not stressful. Okay. Okay, Gina. So then we see Gina talking to Tamara and she's like, yeah, you know, last year we're coming from this place, you know, because of drinking. But like now you're like, but then this year you're pulling away, pulling her away and you sneak away for a cocktail. Like what's going on with that?

53:07Ben Mandelker: We see a flashback within the flashback. It's basically Inception, guys, of Tamara pulling Shannon away in New Orleans be like, let's get a quick drink, you know? So Tamara's like, so, you know, that's what you're saying is that you don't think that she's better? She's an alcoholic. She fell off the wagon and then things fell on top of her because she's so stupid and old and you can't read well? She's like, no, I just kind of like see a creeping kind of back. So, which of course is all the ammo that Tamara now needs to be like, Gina said you're an alcoholic later in the episode.

53:35Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because that's basically what she's doing. She's like, oh, she's supposed to be better, but I see the old Shannon. There was never a new Shannon. Why is everybody pretending like there was some old Shannon and some new Shannon? Shannon didn't stop drinking. She came out of the car crash and asked for a drink. Like, the police records probably show Shannon ordering a Bloody Mary. She never stopped.

53:59Ben Mandelker: And Archie bringing it to her. Archie, like, is one of those dog butlers. Like, a little bit of time. Like, oof, you're a cocktail of weights.

54:05Ronnie Karam: Did you have to bring your girlfriend to the jail to visit me, Archie? He's like, oh, sorry. Had to bring this little stuffed bear. I love this girl. I love her. Say Temecula. Say Temecula. Archie. Move Temecula.

54:20Ben Mandelker: So now we see Emily picking up Gretchen and she's like, Gretchen, why do you have heels on? She's like, I am so over workout clothes. So then we see Gina. She's getting into Tamara's truck with Jen. She's like, oh my God. Like, why am I doing this? I'm like the least fit one here.

54:41Ronnie Karam: we're shenanigans and shannon that's what we call shannon now this is like the season of annoying nicknames shenanigans and like grudgers let's talk about grudgers

54:53Ben Mandelker: let's also actually let's talk about this is that um this is the time old tradition that we only see once in a while when um cast members scare off a member of the cast and then now that they're gone they have to pretend like actually we're so fun look that she's gone we are so fun we make up nicknames for each other

55:13Ronnie Karam: see america isn't it better now it's like yeah just a nice fun light real housewives of orange

55:19Ben Mandelker: county we started calling shannon shenanigans we are so hilarious what a great group of gals we are

55:26Ronnie Karam: so shannon's bringing two suitcases shannon it's only 24 hours how much you gotta bring She's like, well, one suitcase is full of pants. I just brought a lot of pants. So, bedpans, specifically.

55:38Ben Mandelker: Oh, my God. This house is so nice. They have pants. Come on, Shannon. I'm sure there's pants there. I'm just going to put my stuff here. It's in the back. Just where I am with Archie these days. So, then. She shows off her flippers missing.

55:54Ronnie Karam: She's missing her flippers. So, she shows her missing teeth. And Jen's like, wow, she's so proud of that. That's weird Shannon Stop showing us your gums How long has it been like that Ew gross That's disgusting How long has it been like that Stupid toothy stupid lady She's got her a book called How to be a toothless miserable cow I forgot that one

56:19Ben Mandelker: How's she gonna chew that cud With the tooth missing

56:24Ronnie Karam: I can't watch it How's she gonna get it She doesn't even know the latif Like what's going on with her yeah

56:33Ben Mandelker: then in the other car god because Emily and Gretchen are so fun Emily pulls out some fireball oh my god I love a wacky scene with fireball the beverage the the liqueur that was all the rage in 2010 so Emily's like look what we got fireball tomorrow I'm gonna bring sweet tea vodka too

56:56Ronnie Karam: what more white trash drinks can we god heather's gonna love it yeah she's gonna be so annoyed with us oh no so then we see shots of rodeo drive and then heather's penthouse and she has brought in a sleepover consultant named maya um because that's the thing i guess and they she set up like three twin beds with canopies over them like why is there mosquito netting what's happening it's like the boys in the wood bible

57:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's like it's so formal and so uninviting as like a sleepover is supposed to be cozy and fun. You're jammies and they're supposed to be like, you know, it's like cute. And you go like in the den or something. There's carpeting and there's like pillows. And there's like in like a stark wood, like hardwood floor room with like big windows and high ceilings. It's like, here it is, big echoey sleepover time.

57:53Ronnie Karam: with the canopy beds and then there's all these um jars that she's having them put candy and she's got all these employees running all over the place sounds like sleep yeah jars of candy you

58:03Ben Mandelker: need a tv and you all need to watch tv and watch music videos late into the night or something like that that's a sleepover yeah so um they've even got mega stuffed oreos and heather's like

58:15Ronnie Karam: that is disgusting. They'll love it. They'll love it. So then back in the car with the girls driving to Temecula, Shannon's like, oh, so you have a few vines in your backyard. So, I mean, let me look at that. There's some vines. Hey, they've got their own vines. How many bottles of wine does that make? I mean, what's the point? It's a lot of work. Nothing.

58:41Ben Mandelker: What are you talking about? What? Hey, hey, hey. You got any trembles? Alcoholic, alcoholic wants to know how many bottles of wine, the wine. The grape mix, are you going to grow some grapevines, huh? Going to grow up some grapevines? Shannon's like, well, you just, you looked at me and you started laughing. What's that about? She's like, oh, just deep thoughts by Shannon. I mean, what else are you thinking about? So then they do this whole funny thing where Shannon is saying, well, my dad once had an avocado mountain. He bought like a whole mountain and planted avocado trees. He was going to build houses and it didn't work out so well.

59:10Ben Mandelker: I don't think, I actually never saw the mountain or the avocados. Maybe I just heard it wrong. I have an avocado. He just said he got a mountain of avocados. He bought like three of them. I love Grant.

59:20Ronnie Karam: He had an avocado mountain. Well, I mean, it was a mountain that he put avocados on. I don't think it worked. They kept rolling down. They just kept rolling down. No one could find the avocados. Then we found out they were rolling to the other side of the hill. My grandfather started a war on that little town. Just get his avocados back. There's no more town. There's no more mountains. my grandfather basically is a mass murderer over avocados so it was fun gosh yeah still still don't order my father guacamole it's been a rough time i've decided to fact check shannon

59:56Ben Mandelker: on this story and by fact check i mean i googled it and google ai gave me an answer which who knows but i said do avocados grow on mountains and says yes avocados can grow mountains in specific conditions, particularly in tropical and subtropical highland areas like Micho Juan, Mexico, and parts of Chile, where they benefit from suitable altitudes, rainfall, and cold air drainage that prevents frost damage. However, mountains are not universally ideal as high deserts and areas with extreme cold, such as the high mountains in Southern California, are generally not suitable due to the harsh conditions.

1:00:27Ben Mandelker: So it's a lie, Shannon. Your father lied to you. Unless he had some sort of avocado mountain in Mexico or Chile.

1:00:35Ronnie Karam: Well, she said it didn't work out so well. So maybe that's why. He didn't have the benefit back then of Google AI or whatever. So he didn't know. Poor guy. Imagine what that must have been like for him. And now he's like, well, God damn it. All I had to do was look it up on the internet in the first place. Gee, do you know how many encyclopedias I went through?

1:01:00Ronnie Karam: I failed at my avocado mountain. I failed at it.

1:01:04Ben Mandelker: I'm telling you, Gene the Machine came back from the store with about 12 avocados. He's like, well, honey, look at this. I've got a mountain of avocados right here. But fortunately, they all are too soft. It's just not going to work out so well. Oh, well. Little baby Shannon just heard that my daddy has a mountain of avocados somewhere. We are rich.

1:01:22Ronnie Karam: I have an avocado tree. Never one avocado has fallen off of there. that's edible they're all like wood inside which is really weird and i think the other day i was standing out there waiting for bueller to do his business and i think a squirrel threw an avocado at me do you think that that's possible or is that the bobcat the squirrel's like there's a bobcat coming look out maybe but i was standing there and i heard a squirrel wrestling up there and i looked up at the squirrel and then an avocado came flying at me and it was like half eaten like they were eating into it and i was like did you just throw your half-eaten avocado at me like what the

1:01:59Ben Mandelker: fuck bro squirrel's like i said dance avocado map my ass dance queen the first rule of living in los angeles well there's many first rules but i will say today's first rule of living in los angeles is if someone ever says you know we have an avocado tree in our backyard here's an avocado just know you'll never be able to eat it because it's always rock and it never ripens and then and I'm like, it's rock hard, rock hard, rock hard. And then it's just bad. And there's never a window where it's good. And there's so many people that I've met over the years who are like, we have an avocado tree in the backyard.

1:02:34Ben Mandelker: Here's an avocado. It's always the worst avocado you've had in your life. If they offer you a lemon, the lemons are good. The lemons are out of control good. There's always lemons. But if it's an avocado, just throw it out.

1:02:46Ronnie Karam: Yeah. It's just a buffet for all the farm animals. I think that's why all the animals around keep coming over because there's avocados and stuff to eat because I just find half off half eaten little wood avocados everywhere. Oh, poor things. OK, so anybody anyway, they're making fun of Shannon because she's Looney Tunes. So then at Heather's penthouse, Emily and Gretchen arrive and Gretchen's brought a huge suitcase. And Heather's like, oh, my God, Gretchen, that is the biggest suitcase. It's one night. Right. We told them one night. OK, please go through the metal detectors. you're going to have to go on the way out.

1:03:21Ronnie Karam: I'm not worried about weapons. I'm just worried. I just want to make sure that you're only coming with cheap things and you're only leaving with cheap things. Not my things, okay? The candy is edible on the premises. You're not allowed to take it home, which is why I put little metal dots inside each little candy piece to make sure none of them are stolen. Emily!

1:03:40Ben Mandelker: Also, there will be no re-entry. So please make sure, keep your stub, but this bracelet has only one use. Um, so she's like, welcome to my home. And of course it's like overly, overly, whatever the word is, overly built up this, this sleepover in a way that's totally unappealing. Cause again, I do believe there should be your sleepover should be in the realm of soft couches and big, big pillows. And there should be a TV. So she's like, this is Nate. He is a sleepover butler. This is Emily and Gretchen. And Nate, Nathaniel, would you please give the pours a piece of Oreo caviar? Thank you so much.

1:04:20Ben Mandelker: God, I'd love a sleepover.

1:04:22Ronnie Karam: I just need to know where I can get Nate. He's like, I'm available. Yeah, you're very handsome. Oh, sorry. I'm not on this trip. You're very handsome, Nate.

1:04:33Ben Mandelker: Sorry. I have a Gina button that I press if I ever want to feel a little richer.

1:04:39Ronnie Karam: Look, here's one. Ding dong. Can I have a dollar? Ding dong, can I have a dollar?

1:04:48Ronnie Karam: Travis has big balls. Travis has big balls. Here's one.

1:04:53Ben Mandelker: I feel bad. She likes to say that after she spends an extra dollar on toppings for pizza.

1:04:59Ronnie Karam: I feel bad. I feel bad. I feel bad. So then at the other house, they're looking at rooms, and Tamara's like, Oh, look, one of these has a bunk bed, but we're not going to let a queen sleep in a bunk bed. Like Shannon Shannon you should get the main primary room Cause you're so main and so primary Everybody loves you Shannon Hey Shannon it's my best friend Who I love with his girls With his girls having a good time Just girls We need to get all bags

1:05:29Ben Mandelker: And we need to like get ready for wine tasting And then so they're all getting settled in And then Tamar's like Oh my god where's the princess of Temecula now Okay where's Shannon the princess of Temecula With the crazy boobs and the crazy hair What a cow, am I right? It's in the book It's in the book

1:05:45Ronnie Karam: She should read it I'm trying to do everything I can To make Shannon feel comfortable Like doing this Hi, Shannon And brushing the hair a little bit Moving the hair out of her eyes and stuff Looking a little bit deeply like this Hi, Shannon Shannon's like, I don't need the primary This is why I'm starting to feel uncomfortable Take it, Shannon look at your main primary bedroom which has access from three different doorways. Hope you sleep early night Shannon.

1:06:21Ben Mandelker: You can see the corn maze

1:06:22Ronnie Karam: just out the window. You're not scared of corn mazes are you?

1:06:25Ben Mandelker: I do believe killers. I live in corn maze but that's okay. I love a Temecula corn maze. Shannon is unpacking her second bag which has all her pots and pans and I want to make fun of her but I have been known to bring a few pots something on some Airbnb before, I'm not going to lie. But this was crazy because she also had like loose dry spaghetti in her bag. She's like, oh, well, I guess some of this whole wheat gluten-free non-pasta pasta has spilled out.

1:06:54Ronnie Karam: It was crazy. She was pulling out like McKenzie's child serving platters and shit. That she did not need to bring. That she didn't need to have. It's like, well, I need my immersion blender. What's an immersion blender? I don't even know what that is. Do you immerse yourself in a blender? That doesn't sound safe. Shannon, I'm worried about you.

1:07:17Ben Mandelker: Is that the stick propeller thing that my son used to make a roly poly smoothie? Yes, that's exactly right. So then they're just like laughing because she's brought like an egg bite. She made like an egg bite maker and all this stuff. Like actually like, I think like bringing a cast iron skillet or a Dutch oven is fine. But this was too much for you, Shannon. But she's being wacky. Like it's a wacky thing. Like, look what I brought. I'm Fun Shen. Isn't this crazy?

1:07:44Ronnie Karam: Oh, my God. Your suitcase is like when I go through my kids' backpacks. Like, what's in here? Like, I don't even know. It's like something's sticking. Oh, well, something spilled. Okay, well, great. I spilled. I spilled on the immersion blender. What would I do?

1:08:01Ben Mandelker: Everyone, let's go back to Beverly Hills. Come sit down, everyone. Come sit down in this temporarily comfortable room over here. Oh. Wait a second. And is this considered the living room? Well, there's a bigger living room for the real friends. You know, people who own vineyards and such. But this is where I have the poor sit. I hope you like it.

1:08:22Ronnie Karam: This is like the kitchen family room. There's another family room. But you're not family. So you're going to be here. Um, okay. Would you like snacks? Snacks, anybody? I love snacks! I love them! I know. That's why I have them here. So this is my first sleepover party. that I've ever had. Am I doing well? Is this what we do? We don't sleep, do we? I don't sleep.

1:08:46Ben Mandelker: Now, please hold out your hands. I'm going to give you three vouchers, which are good for, each one is good for one third of a snack, and you just give it to Nathaniel, and he will redeem it for you. And once you're out of the vouchers, unfortunately, after that, there will be no more snacking. So please use them wisely. Okay. My guest of Oreos to the right. Gretchen's so dumb. She goes,

1:09:04Ronnie Karam: wow look at this view what is that a bird what was that and then heather has the most heather

1:09:13Ben Mandelker: response oh no this is too high for a bird i think

1:09:20Ben Mandelker: no no no uh-uh no birds up here mike i think the birds can get up there yeah i'm pretty sure they hang on we have a security guard on the on the 32nd floor that stops all the birds. Too high for birds. Security clearance.

1:09:37Ronnie Karam: Birds generally don't have professions, so they're not allowed to fly to this floor.

1:09:43Ben Mandelker: We have a separate entrance for the birds. We call them Alfredo birds.

1:09:48Ronnie Karam: Well, we had a good drive. We analyzed Tamara. Yeah, we did psychoanalysts analysis. So then we go to a flashback where Emily is saying, I wouldn't say Tamara's a good girl. Like, she seems like a girl who would always hang out with dudes, you know? Like, even with a photo with Jen, like, she brought that up because she feels insecure with her relationship with Jen. But that's an insecurity issue with yourself. Oh, my God, get a life. What's your insecurity that you're sitting here talking about these other people? You have nothing to say that's not about the people that aren't there. Boring. By the way, Heather, have you even talked to the other girls in Temecula?

1:10:28Ronnie Karam: Do we know if they're having a good time?

1:10:30Ben Mandelker: Hold on. Let me call. I can't imagine they're having a very good time being at that low-level bird region house that they're in.

1:10:38Ronnie Karam: They're probably being attacked by birds as we speak. Those are ground-level people. It's a ground-level vacation.

1:10:45Ben Mandelker: And, you know, it's really terrible considering how lacking in aspiration those birds are. They're not even going above a second floor. I mean, at least the ones that come here are trying for something.

1:10:56Ronnie Karam: I mean, can you imagine being attacked by birds that settle in a place called Temecula?

1:11:04Ben Mandelker: You know, I see so many, so many Blue Jays who just want a better life, who try to fly up to Drake's apartment. They just can't quite reach it. And they just sort of exhaust themselves and fall down the street like a wooden avocado being thrown at a man in the hills.

1:11:17Ronnie Karam: But everything should be fine. Jen and Tam are fresh. They're starting on a fresh walk-step relationship thing. And Emily's like, well, I might've ruined it. Oh no, what did you do, Emily? Well, I saw Jen and she seemed upset about the fatty photo again. So, you know, I said, remember the fatty photo? That was hilarious.

1:11:40Ben Mandelker: And then Jen got upset. So then we see a flashback to two days ago where Jen and Emily are sitting outside and Jen is like, no, I don't know if it's a fat photo of me. I just really don't know. Well, you didn't ask to see the photo, but you resolved the argument. We've got to open this one right back up again. okay innocence project skills are coming into play jen's like okay well i've never been or been i've never really been able to have the conversation with her well we'll fix that so then we go back to the president emily's like well she still doesn't know what tamra's intent was but bring it up and tamra showed you that photo right because gina calls it the fatty photo is it a fatty photo well i think she was just showing me the picture to be like this is what she looked like before Or now she looks more like me.

1:12:23Ben Mandelker: She was fat and disgusting and hideous before. Shouldn't have been out in public before. Was an embarrassment to the community before. JC Penney would be like, don't come into our store. And now she's like hot and thin and absolutely stunning. I think that's it. Nothing too major.

1:12:38Ronnie Karam: But I love them going like, wow, she still doesn't know what Tamara's intent was. You don't? She was calling you fat. And by the way. That was the intent. She was saying, who even likes her? She used to be fat. That was the intent. Why are we reading so deeply into this?

1:13:00Ben Mandelker: Yeah, and of course, we look at the photo, and it's like we're going to put some air quotes around the fat when we see that photo, right? Because she is not fat.

1:13:08Ronnie Karam: That is a totally normal, beautiful woman. Like, that's crazy. I mean, her top could have used somehow, but it's not a great top. But she was a beautiful woman. They're so crazy on this show. So now Gretchen Is like well Heather's admitted That she's scared of Tamara so Now she's going to make excuses for Tamara Doing this thing and she's just going to Litigate it look I said litigate

1:13:32Ben Mandelker: I was impressed I was too she was like Oh she's going to litigate And adjudicate and all these things I was like oh but when it comes to Tamara it's all fine it's all Good just look the other way So then Gretchen is like I mean, I think it'd be interesting if, like, Jen brings it up when she's down there on that trip. Because then, like, wouldn't that be cool, right? And Emma's like, yeah, I bet you will. Because it sounds like a Band-Aid over an open wound that's going to open up again and again and again.

1:13:58Ronnie Karam: Well, if the Band-Aid opens, it'll only open if you gain weight, typically. Which, hopefully, she won't do. Because this is all solved now. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. for part two, go look for the recap that says part two

1:14:17Ben Mandelker: see you over there suckers watch what crappens would like to thank it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alison King it's always a party on Alison Block our way is the Amber way it's the foster and the furious it's Amanda Foster it's always automatic with Ashley Otto put your hands together for Carly Clap get on the right foot with Chrissy Offord

1:14:39Ronnie Karam: she's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella. Itchles.

1:14:43Ben Mandelker: We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no last name-y. She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer.

1:15:00Ronnie Karam: Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

1:15:02Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

1:15:05Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.

1:15:27Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

1:15:30Ronnie Karam: I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.

1:15:35Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell, it's Raquel.

1:15:37Ronnie Karam: Yes we canna, it's Sadana

1:15:39Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippi

1:15:46Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors She's VVIP, it's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin

1:15:53Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD

1:15:56Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily sides

1:16:09Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where and Gwen Pentland

1:16:12Ronnie Karam: Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs

1:16:15Ben Mandelker: It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran We got our wish, it's Jen Plish She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo We love him madly, it's Kyle Podshadley In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock G, it's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani

1:16:45Ronnie Karam: The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose There's a Chance of Meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud Neat, it's Ronit Feldman

1:16:55Ben Mandelker: Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke We Cannot Tell a Lie, it's Sarah Tell of Sun Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tamela Plain. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar.

1:17:13Ronnie Karam: We love you guys. This episode is sponsored by McDonald's.

1:17:19Ben Mandelker: I'm having my hot Caesar summer, Ronnie. Yes. Caesar sauce? I feel like we don't talk about Caesar sauce enough because it's so, so good. I love to dip everything into it. Have you ever dipped fries in Caesar sauce before?

1:17:30Ronnie Karam: I mean, I just have. It is delicious. Caesar sauce is like a Parmesan, garlicky blend with some lemon in it. And you can dip anything in there.

1:17:39Ben Mandelker: One thing I have been known to do is to stop over at McDonald's and go to the drive-thru and get myself a Caesar snack wrap and just dip some fries in the Caesar sauce. Also, the Krispy Strips in the Caesar sauce. Honestly, try it. It's really good.

1:17:53Ronnie Karam: Listen, I say if you put Caesar sauce on something, that automatically makes it better. Yes, that's really all you need is the Caesar sauce.

1:18:01Ben Mandelker: I think I just want to have just a constant supply of Caesar sauce and put it on things at all times.

1:18:07Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm a straight up French fry and Caesar sauce kind of a boy. That's what I love. And that's how I'm going to go down.

1:18:13Ben Mandelker: Right now at participating McD's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my go-to order.

1:18:22Ronnie Karam: Caesar sauce at participating McDonald's for a limited time.

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