#3004 RHOC S19E11 Part One: Safety in Slumbers

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2:29Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, it's Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello. How's it going, you little Benoony tunes? It's going quite well, thanks. Going quite well. Just here to talk some Real Housewives of Orange County. on Monday we have crappy hour that's going to be at 5.30 on the west coast and 8.30 on the east coast so come join us that's on YouTube it's also simulcast on Instagram and we talk about Bravo headlines and at the end we bring some of you up to chat etc it's always fun we do it every other Monday so come join us for that and then we of course have our glorious Patreon which includes a bonus episode every week this week we did a trailer on future Bravo flop wife swap.

3:23Ben Mandelker: And we also... Let's be honest. Let's be honest. We're going to watch, but let's be honest. And then, I mean, I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. It is starring Emily Simpson, so I know that we'll get everyone's attention and everyone's going to tune in for that. Everyone's going to drop what they're doing. But we did have a lot of fun with the trailer. We actually had a lot of fun with the trailer. And then we also have Crappets on Demand, where you can watch us. Not just listen, you get videos. And those videos do wind up eventually on our YouTube channel. So go check us out there. So that's all the great news that we have to start with on this Friday.

3:58Ben Mandelker: And Ronnie, how are you doing today? How are you feeling?

4:02Ronnie Karam: I'm feeling great. I cut one of my toenails too short because, I don't know, my toe doesn't know where my toenail ends and my toe begins. So it was rough. But otherwise, great. Everything's wonderful in my world. How's it going with you? It's good.

4:16Ben Mandelker: My voice feels a little scratchy today. It feels a little like, you know, when you have to sort of put out a little extra air to get the sound out. That's where I'm at. It's almost like, it's like, I feel like I've been like, I don't know, gone through a car wash or something. I guess we were talking about that earlier this morning.

4:33Ronnie Karam: Let me be the air beneath your trachea today.

4:36Ben Mandelker: Please. I'll just help you any way I can. I'm just drinking this iced coffee and hoping it like gets things flowing. so we are here to talk orange county and where we left off uh the the cast had split up and gone on dual vacations some people had the misfortune of going down to temecula with tamra and others had the other misfortune of going up to heather's ice cold clinical slumber party in beverly hills

5:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Elsa's castle in Beverly Hills. So that was last week. And the episode ended, of course, with Shannon and Tamara arguing. And Shannon immediately being like,

5:20Gretchen Rossi: But Gina was the one who said she was worried about your drinking, Shannon. All right. Whoops.

5:26Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Whoops. And Gina's like, Whoa. So that's where we start. And Gina's like, But, you know, I worry about you. You know, you have to understand, like, for me. Like, just because I do care about you and I, like, know the place you've been in as a drunk alcoholic, you know, I don't want to see you go back to, you know, whatever this face is that you're making right now. Shannon's just, like, sob face. Like, ugh. All episode, Shannon just has these little pink eyes. Her eyes are half closed like she's been sobbing. Her hair is all over the place. She's like, I cannot believe people are suggesting I have a problem.

6:01Ben Mandelker: and the best part is that um they're they're sitting at this dinner table that has this kind of like this it's like it's not really a centerpiece but there's like a floral arrangement in front of it there's like branches and stuff and shannon has grabbed like a small twig with like little buds on it i don't know if you noticed it and she was holding it in her hand she i don't think she realized it was like a fidget spinner for her and she was like shaking it and so as she every time she talked this little branch was trembling right in front of her and And she was like, well, um, trembling branch.

6:28Ben Mandelker: It was so, it was like the perfect prop for Shanna, a little trembling twig.

6:32Tamra Judge: And she's like, oh, well, okay. I'm never, I'm never going to go back, Gina. I appreciate what you're saying, but I'm not going to go out. I appreciate the worries. Yeah. But to be fair, like what this all was, was born out of something that I didn't like that you did, Tamara. And Tamara's like, but you can't turn on me, bitch. You can't do that. And she was like, yeah, because you like shat on her all of last year. and now you're taking her away for sneaky drinks.

6:56Ben Mandelker: I was like, oh, that was a good, that was pretty good, Gina. Like, I like the way that you did the twist on Tamara there.

7:03Ronnie Karam: Well, yeah, people are used to Tamara's game now, you know. She was like, okay, Tamara, you were trying to turn that on me, but that was me yelling at you.

7:10Gretchen Rossi: Tamara's like, yeah, but then what did I say? And I said, no, I totally get what you're saying. And then you also understood where I came from, remember?

7:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and then you came and tried to throw her under the bus. To Shannon and get her in trouble, Tamara. My God.

7:26Ben Mandelker: And Tamara has the funniest little flashback. She goes,

7:29Tamra Judge: I wasn't trying to take her away to have a drink. I just felt so happy that me and Shannon made up. And I know that that's her love language, going to have a cocktail, you know, getting drunk, crashing into things. Like I was like, that's her love language. Like that's, you're so shady.

7:43Ben Mandelker: Like, oh, her love language is falling off the wagon. So look, I got us, I got us one of those pads that gymnasts use and I put it next to an actual wagon and I set up a keg. on the wagon, and we just got up there and did some stands.

7:57Gretchen Rossi: Her love language is acts of bar service. It's cocktail service. That's a love language. I was just trying to love her, because we're best friends by Shannon. She's so pretty. I remember she hears Shannon.

8:09Tamra Judge: I was just trying to speak her love language, because I don't know if you know it, but her language only has two letters in it. Actually, really, only one letter. A. Just said twice. Eh!

8:18Gretchen Rossi: Well, I am. I'm making decisions on what's best for me. And sometimes what's best for me

8:25Ronnie Karam: is a bottle of kettle one in my purse. Okay, so. And last year was very traumatic for me because I was in a hole I didn't think I could crawl out of. And I'm still processing the hole.

8:38Gretchen Rossi: I cannot stop thinking about the hole.

8:42Tamra Judge: There was a literal hole in my lawn and I fell into it and I was like, help, help. And it took three days for someone to walk by and say, oh, there's a woman in a hole. It was a lot for me to go through. Anyway, oh God, I'm trembling. Let me just ask you a question.

8:58Gretchen Rossi: I'm sorry, what were you saying, Ben?

8:59Ben Mandelker: What did you say, Ben? I said her little twig was shaking like crazy. Her twig. Go back and watch. You will see her holding that little twig. It's the funniest thing.

9:09Gretchen Rossi: Let me just ask you, Shannon. What do I need to do to make things better for her? That's what I need to do, Shannon. All I want to do is make things better. Okay, I'm going to call you an alcoholic in about five minutes. You've got five minutes. Go ahead, Shannon. And she was like, you know, I just, I need time I need time I need time

9:26Tamra Judge: Like, I appreciate the kind, nice gestures And I have laughed a lot today And I think that's great And I hope that that's enough Because that's all I can do right now, Tamara I just need time How about some kettle warm, bitch? Well, I will accept that too We're great goose

9:44Gretchen Rossi: It's time of brand of vodka

9:50Ronnie Karam: yeah you know what it's like you're both doing the best you can right now and i think that's fair they're literally neither one of them is doing the best they can right now shannon's a maniac she's got some issues let's just say and she's starting to scream for no reason at this point she's just sitting at dinner and being like you know what tamra and then you've got tamra over there pretending to be nice for five seconds and then immediately falling back

10:15Gretchen Rossi: That's stupid alcoholic.

10:17Ronnie Karam: In about two minutes now. We've got two minutes left, speaking of time.

10:21Tamra Judge: Yeah, seriously. Well, I appreciate everything that you've done, and I'm grateful. And I thank you, Tamron. I really do. Yeah, and as much as this conversation was difficult, I really appreciate it, bitch. And I feel like that's what real friends do, is they actually talk about things, especially when they're alcoholics, and we talk about that. And I know that it's probably not, you know, that I probably have never done that before because, you know, I've been on defense, you know, because you're an alcoholic and I have to put myself against the wall and be like, an alcoholic's attacking me. And I apologize.

10:51Ronnie Karam: How has Amber been on the defense? She's been on the offense. That's what the argument is about. She came for Shannon all year last year. She wasn't on the defense.

11:00Gretchen Rossi: I just hope we can go back to house and have some shenanigans. Shenanigans. Shenanigans. You know, I'm glad we got to talk about things. Because it's fun to listen to you talk about things. because you'd this while you do and that kind of slur. And you smell like alcohol, Seth. I bet if we lit a match in front of Shannon's mouth while she was talking about Seth, she'd look like a dragon.

11:27Tamra Judge: So much alcohol. This doesn't feel like a safe space. Question, am I allowed to bring my twig back to the house? It's sort of like a service twig. It's helping with my anxiety. Please let me bring my twig back.

11:41Ronnie Karam: and uh tamra throws a napkin at her face and shannon's like who threw a napkin and jan says

11:47Gretchen Rossi: i just you know what i just got triggered did you mean triggered look at shannon shannon's twigged right now shannon's like napkin in my face twig twig twig twig twig so now we go back

12:00Ben Mandelker: up to crustacean beverly hills where the women are still eating dinner and heather's like that was delicious. So good. Heather, you didn't eat a single bite. We all know. The way that we had that, what was it again? Crab. Delicious.

12:19Ronnie Karam: Yo, I mean, it was pretty good for stuff that came out of someone's vagina.

12:27Ben Mandelker: So Heather goes, okay, ladies, we have places to go. There's paparazzi waiting for us. Because now I know them by name. Remember that totally coincidental time when we ran into the paparazzo earlier today. And then we see a flashback to that lady being like, I know for a fact that that other paparazzi had no idea you'd be at Disneyland.

12:54Ronnie Karam: As part of the paparazzi network, we all know each other. And I know for a fact it was spoken of in our community very deeply. Heather had nothing to do with any paparazzi being called.

13:08Ben Mandelker: Yeah, because you know, one thing that the paparazzi love to do is drive all the way down to Disneyland and spend like$150 to walk around on spec hoping they see a celebrity.

13:20Ronnie Karam: It was her assistant. And Shane's like, no, it wasn't that either. Oh my God, what is ringing in my house? Everything is turned off. Why are things ringing?

13:30Ben Mandelker: Ben, I'm telling you, every ringer is turned off. It always goes through. My parents have a way. They have somehow been able to circumnavigate every single control on Apple. Like, it doesn't matter. I turn everything off, and my phone will still ring in the middle of a movie theater. It's my parents. They're like, we just wanted to call and say hi. I'm like, how do you always know when I'm in a theater? They have an uncanny ability. Also, as long as we're talking about it, when can we, like, finally, like, when can we make it more authoritative that if you put your phone on silent, it's truly silent?

14:03Ben Mandelker: How many times have you put your phone on silent and then you turn on Instagram and it's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I'm on silent. Why is Instagram playing loud right now?

14:14Ronnie Karam: Why? I don't know, but it's bizarre. I have everything on do not disturb and still ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Everything starts dinging around me and it wasn't doing this I feel like yesterday. Anyway, no one is here to hear me complain about iPhone rings. okay but you know what this is happening in real time tamra don't disturb tamra and she disturbs me so anyway heather's like my ios devices are tamaring me they just won't shut up

14:41Ben Mandelker: anyway i hope you appreciate my feelings about tamra ladies was i scared of her before yes because she's mean and i have had many difficult people in my life and i started to tell her a story about my father. So we see two weeks ago, Heather's talking with Tamara and she's like, you remind me a little bit about my dad because in public with our family, you would have these outbursts. I don't mind if your dad, why?

15:09Gretchen Rossi: Was he hot? Was he a real hot bad?

15:14Ben Mandelker: He had outbursts in public. That's what he would do with the family. She's like,

15:20Tamra Judge: I don't have outbursts with my family in public.

15:22Ben Mandelker: I was like, please don't be such a literalist, Tamara.

15:25Tamra Judge: Yeah, it's not me.

15:29Ben Mandelker: So now Heather comes back and is like, so she blew it off and she never came back to it and hadn't asked me about it since. Sort of like Taylor Armstrong with her acting career. So Gretchen's like,

15:41Tamra Judge: so what was the situation with your dad like?

15:44Ronnie Karam: So then Heather's like, thank you for asking. I will tell you right now, Shane, cue the music. my dad died a few years ago and there's unresolved things we've gone into it at the groundlings now i've blown it off for years and he would sometimes act in a certain way that you know would be very uncomfortable for me and my sisters in public you know uncomfortable you he would have an explosion whether we were at a restaurant or on vacation and it was embarrassing and it was disturbing and it was upsetting.

16:28Ben Mandelker: I'm like, get in line, Heather Dubrow. Whose dad has... You should see my dad at the restaurant.

16:35Ronnie Karam: I was just going to say, you want to compare traumas to Ben's? Ben hanging out with his dad in a restaurant?

16:43Ben Mandelker: Oh my God. Let me tell you something. Heather Dubrow is from Chappaqua, New York. And I remember once going to a sushi restaurant with my parents in Chappaqua, New York. and the waiter, like the waitress was just not coming around at all. And my dad was convinced that the waitress had seen him and was ignoring him. And so he started fuming, fuming, and then eventually he walked up to the sushi bar and he goes, the next thing that comes to our table better be the food or the check. And then I had two friends that were there at the restaurant too, and they were looking like terrified. I was like, no, it's just my dad.

17:25Ben Mandelker: It was mortifying. But then at a certain point, you just start to, you realize that you have more power in those situations. You just go, dad, stop it.

17:33Ronnie Karam: Oh God, we've both got nightmare parents in restaurants. My mom is the queen of, um, excuse me. I've noticed that they all got their food and we were here first. So is there something? That's her thing. Like someone's always ahead of her in the restaurant game. She's like, they like them better. Why would their food come? I said, mom, waiters don't sit in the back. And they're like, you know what? The lady at table 10 is a bitch. Serve the other ones first. Let's just see if we can. She goes, but it happens every time. And this does happen to her all the time. Everyone else gets their food and they either forget hers or hers just takes like an extra five to 10 minutes to come out.

18:08Ronnie Karam: And I said, I think it's what you're putting out into the world. That's what you're doing. Like you're literally like creatively visualizing failure on food delivery.

18:16Ben Mandelker: you know well to be fair sometimes my dad does definitely have like a right to lose his mind because one time we went to a restaurant and we had put in our drink order and it had been 25 minutes and our like lemonades still had not arrived so the waitress came back and my dad was like like where's our where's our lemonades so she like was like oh my god i'm so sorry so she went back and the owner of the restaurant came out and he came out he's like you know we're trying run a restaurant here and he's like say have you ever worked in you ever worked in the restaurant before he's like my dad was like no but i've eaten in many of them okay well you think the guy goes the guy goes he's like well you think i you you think i give a about what you have to say and my dad goes you think i give a about what you have to say the guy then the guy goes well guess what and he yells us over over the entire room he goes guess what we took a poll and we all voted and

19:11Ronnie Karam: you're our least favorite customers in the restaurant and my dad goes my work here is done

19:22Ben Mandelker: that owner was a dick so i was like that was when my dad's my dad's abilities were used to get his power he used his power for good that shit's funny yeah i just feel like heather like like i mean i just feel like it's a pretty i don't know if it's a common thing or not But I feel like after all these years, Heather's like, oh, I finally have a family trauma for television. My dad would lose his mind in a restaurant once in a while.

19:49Ronnie Karam: Like, yeah. It's just Heather trauma, you know. I'm sure it's traumatic for her. But to everyone else with any kind of parental trauma, it's like, really? That's it? It's like, is there an ellipses at the end of this? Because I need more. I need more than my dad's a dick in the restaurant. Like, get in line. I love Tamra.

20:11Gretchen Rossi: It's like I've never been made in my family in a restaurant. What you talking about? I can't possibly be like a dad. First of all, I'm a girl.

20:18Tamra Judge: He's a boy. So this is ridiculous.

20:21Ronnie Karam: Well, you can't put expectations on someone that can't reach the expectation, which is why I try and force feed my child sweet potatoes.

20:29Ben Mandelker: Yeah, you can't put expectations on someone that can't reach the expectation, which is why I complain about my mom every single season of this show.

20:40Ronnie Karam: So Emily tells us it's difficult for Tamar to have real friendships because she feels compelled to argue or be combative. You know what, Emily? I don't know where you got that law degree, but God damn it, you're smart. I mean, that is some deep thinking. It's tough for Tamar to have real friendships because she's combative. You think? You think? Yeah. Wow.

21:01Ben Mandelker: And then she's like, yeah, I always think, like, she's like, oh, I think she's always thinking in terms of strategizing. I feel like it's always like some kind of chess game, which is why I always have her side. I'm like, do you hear the words you're saying about this person who you blindly follow episode after episode and defend? And then you're like, yeah, she's manipulative and combative and she's playing chess with you all the time.

21:24Ronnie Karam: And I'm really scared of her, so I'm going to do whatever she fucking wants to. so um heather's like and maybe that's why i give her allowances you give her allowance no not allowance i i still give gina allowance okay but i give tamra allowances you give her more allowance than you give her more allowance than you give gina that's not fair however i just

21:49Tamra Judge: realized like do you know this is like part of the psychology around like what we're talking about

21:55Ben Mandelker: Yes, thank you, Gretchen. Thank you for connecting the dots that were connected about 10 minutes ago.

22:01Tamra Judge: Wait a second. I just realized that your feelings about your dad connect directly to your feelings in the amaranth. Yeah.

22:07Ben Mandelker: You did it, Gretchen. You really did it.

22:11Ronnie Karam: It's time for a commercial.

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22:49Ronnie Karam: Oh yeah. I mean, I got my rug in my office from Wayfair. I got my curtains from Wayfair. I got a couple of chairs. I got all my outdoor furniture from Wayfair. I love that place because it's also great to order things and have it put together. You know, you can have you have the option with Wayfair that they just come. They deliver it. They put it together in the room that you want. And boom, you're done. You're not messing around with the little, you know, tools and all of that stuff. So it's my jam, baby.

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24:05Ronnie Karam: Yes, and maybe I parent the way I do because of this. Because I've created my family the way I have. Because you can't control where you come from, but you can control who your children hang out with.

24:20Ben Mandelker: You can't control where you come from, but you can control your servants. That's why they have a separate doorbell.

24:27Ronnie Karam: You can teach your children to control a maid.

24:33Ben Mandelker: You can't control where you're from, but you can control your proximity to Drake, a rapper.

24:44Gretchen Rossi: I love the fact that Heather's opening up, and I don't feel like I get to see a lot of that from Heather. She should share more because it would help people understand you better.

24:54Ronnie Karam: Okay, Gretchen. So they're done. Okay, Gretchen. Okay, Gretchen. That's such a dingbat. So Heather has decided since this is girls night and we're doing fun girl things together as women who are girls, we're going to go to the Abbey. This is where homosexuals go to have a good time. Let's do it.

25:22Tamra Judge: Gretchen's like, no, no, stop.

25:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah, let's go as real girlfriends do. Let's go to the Abbey at 7 p.m. on a Tuesday and have a rollicking good time.

25:37Ronnie Karam: They really hit the Abbey at that time where there's no one there. I went there this week around that time. My cousin was in town. We were just going to have a drink. And I was like, well, the Abbey's good at this time because it's quiet and you can just sit outside and chat. It's like a nice place to chat. But it was like early and they're blasting. I mean, the music was like pumping the cars, you know, it was so loud and there was nobody in there. And there was just a line of strippers standing there so bored, like just kind of pinching their dicks. Like, come on, make an effort. Like they were trying to make them work and they're just like yawning.

26:06Ronnie Karam: I was like, nobody wants to see a bunch of yawning strippers in an empty place with music pumping our brains out, you guys. We need to like strippers violins or something during happy hour, you know, and then they can slowly. Yeah, they can slowly get crazier throughout the night or something. But yeah, so they chose to go at this time. There's like two people in there.

26:26Ben Mandelker: I know. And look, we all get it. You know, bars are empty at the beginning and then they fill up. But it was just funny because the women went clearly it was like seven o 'clock. Like we could you could look in the shots. You could see there was no one there. and they were trying to frame it in a way like, no, this is like, it's party time, it's crazy, but it was just one of these like really sad things where they were pretending like they were having this crazy wild party when it was just like, it's like when they shoot like a lunch scene at a restaurant clearly at like 4 p.m. and there's no one in the restaurant.

26:57Ben Mandelker: Like that's what's going on here.

26:59Ronnie Karam: The Abbey should have dragged in people because it made it look sad. It looked really sad in there. It looked desolate. It's like, this is how far the Abbey has fallen. And now it's Gretchen, Emily, and Heather Dubrow hanging out at the Abbey. It's like, is this supposed to be a commercial for the Abbey? I don't think it's, it's not giving what you think it's giving.

27:17Ben Mandelker: Who would have thought that three gay icons, Heather Dubrow, Emily Simpson, and Gretchen Rossi, wouldn't have just brought in throngs of gays. Shocking. But before they even get there, you know, because they're like, let's go dance. And Emily's like, wait a second. I think I've got some fireball. And she empties out her purse like on the table. And I'm just like, again, it's like what I said last week. I can't stand this. Like what Emily is like, like being like, I'm in a fancy restaurant. So I'm going to act like, I'm going to act silly now, like a kid. I'm like, Oh God, just. So tacky. Why are you spilling it?

27:55Ben Mandelker: And then she has like a grummy bear that she's like putting in her mouth. And I'm like, just. I mean, I was like, look, I've got gummy worms.

28:01Ronnie Karam: I have enough for all of us. They fell out of my purse. It's not insane. I keep coming words in my purse. We get it, Emily. You're a woman who carries calories in her purse. You're just fucking hilarious. Okay. So then over in Temecula, the other women come back to their rental.

28:22Tamra Judge: And Tema's like, we got to change the mood.

28:25Ben Mandelker: So they're just like being silly and humping around and stuff like that. Just like, what was that song? Ain't nobody humping around Is that Bobby Brown? Anyway, Tamara is like, oh my god, look

28:39Tamra Judge: I can't even imagine you being horny He's like, yeah I'm like a very much a different person In the bedroom, cause like You know, we know that song, you know what they say I'm a lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed My freak version is going like this Aw Aw, do me

28:57Gretchen Rossi: I feel like Yeah, like in the bedroom, I say things like I would only see in the bedroom I'm like, live, love, love.

29:06Ronnie Karam: She's like reading all of her word art. She's like, kitchen, toaster, bake.

29:14Ben Mandelker: She puts on panties that has like the gather font, but it just says vagina.

29:22Ben Mandelker: Or maybe it just says gather.

29:24Tamra Judge: Gather.

29:25Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it still just says gather. And she's like, yeah, I'm like real private.

29:30Gretchen Rossi: And Tamara says, do you not like a public fucker?

29:33Ronnie Karam: And Shannon's like, public, what? Public fucker?

29:36Gretchen Rossi: What? What is a public fucker?

29:39Tamra Judge: What? It's a lyric. What? Yeah, she's a private fucker. I'm like, what?

29:47Ben Mandelker: Do I know what a public fucker is? No. No. So they're just like hanging around. They're just being silly, you know? They're going to go in the hot tub and everything. and Tamara is doing a whole spiel about how since Shannon doesn't want to wear a bathing suit, she got them all t-shirts that have bikinis drawn on them that they're going to wear instead. Yeah, Tamara.

30:10Gretchen Rossi: You know what? Shannon feels insecure about being in a bikini. So I got 5XL cotton shirts with a bikini drawn on the front of them. And we're going to make Shannon go in the pool with a shirt on. It's going to be hilarious. It's such a light-hearted thing to do to an insecure person.

30:29Tamra Judge: Okay, Gina, here's yours. This is size XL. Here's mine, size XL. And here's your Shannon, size AA. Okay, put it down.

30:41Ronnie Karam: So, yeah.

30:42Gretchen Rossi: So she's like, you know, I just want to be funny and quirky like Shannon is. I'm just trying to be funny and quirky like Shannon. Okay, come on. We're going to have fun, goddammit.

30:52Ronnie Karam: So they go to change and get wacky. By the way, there is no chemistry with that crew. They look like they're having a miserable time. Jen, I mean, none of them are having a good time in Temecula. It's hard to watch. You know, it's hard.

31:05Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So then up at the Abbey, now these ladies arrive. And I'll tell you, I mean, nothing says, woohoo, let's go to the Abbey like Gretchen's hair. Gretchen put on the perfect hair for the Abbey. This 1960, she looks like the mom from The Wonder Years. She's like, we're going to the Abbey.

31:27Gretchen Rossi: Maybe I should do my Nancy Grace outfit. I'm going to wear my Nancy Grace hair.

31:36Ben Mandelker: Exactly right. So Emily's like, oh, well, Gretchen, what time will you be performing? And then we have a flashback to Gretchen performing with the Pussycat Dolls in 2013. A lot of times have changed. So they're like that the strippers are writhing on them. And it's all very exciting. One of those strippers, I used to go to the gym. One of those strippers used to go to my gym. And he always looked so cute. I had no idea he was a stripper at the Abbey. I was like, wow, the hot guy from the gym. Good for him. He really made it.

32:06Ronnie Karam: Well, the Abbey is all in good fun. This isn't like Tamara's bachelorette with people putting wieners in your ears. Okay? When Gretchen hired those strippers and they were exposing their donkey meat with the cock ring and ear fucking girls. Okay? It's not that.

32:22Ben Mandelker: And we see a flashback of Heather cabreasing the strippers. But to be fair, she just thought that they were butlers. This is what I do with all the servants.

32:33Ronnie Karam: That was the trip that ruined Tamara and Gretchen's relationship. because they had spent the whole season like, we're friends now. Aren't we friends? Let's make up. And the whole season they were like, yeah, we're friends now. We're such good friends. And then at the bachelorette party, Gretchen planned all this stuff for Tamara on this trip. And then Tamara didn't even invite her out to party. And she got really upset about it. I forgot about that. It ruined it. She went out with like Vicky. Yeah. Vicky. Yeah, they went out and got wasted after. And Tamara's like, or Gretchen's like,

33:05Gretchen Rossi: you couldn't even invite me. I planned this whole party for you. when you went on partying without me. I thought we were friends. That's your tough slut. You stupid, stupid slut. Why is it so mad at me? I don't get it.

33:20Ben Mandelker: So, Emily is now dancing on the table. The strippers are stripping. And Gretchen's like,

33:27Tamra Judge: Wow, I feel like Emily's not getting enough at home. I mean, she's like riding that cowboy.

33:32Ben Mandelker: I'm like, well, wouldn't you if the option is this like muscle clad man or Shane Gretchen once again really

33:40Tamra Judge: wow it's almost like she's married to Rumpelstiltskin wow

33:48Ronnie Karam: so now they dance and they take turns on the poles and Gretchen reminds us that she's an experienced pole dancer okay

33:56Gretchen Rossi: as a matter of fact in my 20s I kicked a couple strippers off the stage and took their position that was in New Orleans that was the old good days that was the old good days

34:07Ben Mandelker: I love Gretchen English. Yeah, the old good days. And Emily's like, I like Gretchen's when she drinks a little bit. She's like a whole different Gretchen's.

34:16Ronnie Karam: Listen, I've fucking had enough of Gretchen's. I've had enough. Can we just normalize not saying the word Gretchen's? I don't think there's a more annoying word this year. Gretchen's. Gretchen's.

34:28Ben Mandelker: It's also like I hate a nickname that doesn't actually speed things up. It's just as fast to say Gretchen's. if not and it actually involves a little bit more sound because you have to add an s to it it's actually you wind up saying gretcher's you say it doesn't make it faster to say gretchen by calling her gretcher's that makes that i actually have no problem with gretcher's to be honest i'm not i i wish i could yes and you like heather at the groundlings but i i can't stand the word fucking

34:54Ronnie Karam: gretcher's it's making me crazy stop trying to make gretcher's happen i can't take it it bugs me it maybe it's irrational i guess it's irrational but it really really bugs me

35:03Ben Mandelker: so the irony is that it was gretchen wiener who tried to make fetch happen and now it's gretcher's that is trying to be made to be happening yes now i'm speaking gretchen language so uh emily is like it's like yeah i like i you know i like gretchen when she drinks a little bit it's like a whole different gretchen's and i'm like wow drunk gretchen's i like gretchen drunk gretchen's over praying gretchen's and then it cuts to like this footage of gretchen like doing some video for Instagram in her car with the kid in the background being like, and just remember,

35:35Tamra Judge: Jesus loves you. God bless.

35:42Ben Mandelker: Should we FaceTime Shane? Why? No one ever in the history of ever. Why would you do that? Even Tim Cook is like, okay, we're going to shut down Apple. We will make sure that every notification gets to Ron and Karim, but we are not going to allow We're not going to allow any excessive FaceTime. Yeah.

36:03Ronnie Karam: And now we think you're going to love it, guys. New surprise. The iPhones are now refusing to show Shane on FaceTime. It's like, thank you. I will buy that phone. I will buy that phone. Charge me whatever you need to. I don't even care about your new chip. Okay?

36:18Ben Mandelker: Yeah. This would be a good use of AI. Just intercept the call. So she calls and there's Keller and Luke and all them. And Shane is like saying, he's like, yeah, I got a plane simulator for Luke's iPad.

36:36Tamra Judge: Even though it's difficult that I think about what's going on at home. I mean, Luke is now flying planes and I'm missing all of it. As moms, we do need to step away and understand that bodies can be tall, hard and beautiful once in a while.

36:54Ronnie Karam: So back in the car, she hangs up with Shane and it was it was a riveting call. and um heather's like you know what we should have done karaoke that's what we should have done

37:06Gretchen Rossi: and gretcher's is like um can we find a karaoke place you think they'll play my song

37:12Ronnie Karam: wait i forgot that you had a song oh my god i'm so sorry i forget but now that you remind me my head is absolutely pounding alfredo do you have an advil it's you know sometimes i forget that

37:29Ben Mandelker: You have a song also. So was your song also written by Richard Marks the way mine was? No. Oh, who wrote your song? I'm not familiar. Anyway, multi-Grammy award winner Richard Marks sang my song that we sang on TV and that two podcasters like to sing by themselves quite often to this day.

37:48Gretchen Rossi: I do whatever I want. Whatever I want to. I do whatever I want with no expectation.

37:57Ben Mandelker: God, it's such a good song. I know we should get Gretchen to fill in for Dr. Jen's part on that song because Dr. Jen, I mean, talk about a temp track. Like that woman should not be on any, on any single, like whatever that song plays. And they get to Dr. Jen's line. She's like, I do my own thing and I do what I want. I'm like, Oh God,

38:18Ronnie Karam: Dr. Jen. So Gretchen tells them she doesn't leave a song. She has four songs and we see a flashback to 2012. Gretchen singing in the studio

38:29Gretchen Rossi: You'll never break me Break me, break me down You'll never get me to pay His child support I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna do it You say child support I say my support Stop saying child support

38:46Ben Mandelker: You'll never break me, break me, break me Break me down That's actually a song dedicated to her Aquanet hair That thing is not That thing is not gonna break

38:58Gretchen Rossi: that is a player has holes but it was worth it you'll never break me break me break me down

39:06Ben Mandelker: we need gretchen and sheena to do a duet as long as they're besties they should be duetting together i mean i did not realize that that the uh gretchen rossi songbook had already reached uh had quadrupled in size since we last saw her but i had forgotten that she had a song but we should have remembered because wasn't didn't that song play during her engagement with slade on top of the building their fake engagement yeah i remember that one you're gonna get engaged to me

39:30Gretchen Rossi: i'm not writing checks to your ex well that rhymes a great song gretchen

39:37Ronnie Karam: the song is called oh that rhymed emily oh that rhyme by gretchen rossi

39:47Ronnie Karam: does tamra know that because if tamra knew that you had four songs i feel like she'd play them I'm going to text her. So Gretchen goes,

39:55Tamra Judge: Yeah, well, Tamara tried to be a singer. However, I have the audio of her trying to sing in the studio, and it's like not very good.

40:03Ben Mandelker: Now, I just want to say the exact quote. I have the audio of her, because of course I'm always going to continue to relitigate the Katie case. This is going to go in by the end of the episode. The file of Gretchen is a fucking liar. Yeah. She continues to lie and change her stories all the time.

40:20Ronnie Karam: Compulsively, along with her husband. Still lying, still lying over there. Let's just not call Gretchen out again. That'll be fun. That's a fun plot twist. And when she says, I tried to be a singer, but she's not good. Okay, Celine, you're Gretchen. Are you really judging anybody else's track?

40:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah, okay. Well, I can't wait to hear more about this when we go see your residency in Las Vegas, Gretchen Rossi. So Heather's like, now I need to hear this. oh that's hilarious and grudge is like no find it find it right now no you must find it do you want to sleep in a canopy bed tonight or not it's all when when did tamra go to a studio when she

41:04Ronnie Karam: and so apparently tamra fucked this producer of this music and heather's like um personally i do not know this singer. Do they know Barry Manilow? If it's not

41:23Ben Mandelker: Drake, unfortunately, I'm just not up on who it could possibly be. Sorry.

41:28Ronnie Karam: I am looking close to property next door to The Weeknd. Is that who you're talking about? No, I don't know that.

41:39Ben Mandelker: Is it the Kid Leroy? No. So Emily is like, she's like, well, I'm Gen X, so of course I know who it is. So that's like who is it? I don't know. Is it the lead singer of Candlebox? Maybe it's Silverchair. Yeah, Silverchair. We know that the lead singer of Silverchair. He's Sean, Sean, Sean, Inglis. In Australia. I'm curious. I'm curious. who do you like who do you think it might be who do you think tamra who what gen x famous singer

42:19Ronnie Karam: might tamra have banged i don't know but wouldn't it be a producer so i guess they're saying she was banging a singer went to the studio to see this singer and then recorded something in the studio well this i mean i don't know i can't i'm gonna say i have no guesses i don't i don't know

42:36Ben Mandelker: anybody really amy grant i mean it was a lesbian moment amy grant i'm gonna say one of the nelsons

42:42Ronnie Karam: one of the nelson brothers but weren't they okay would that make sense with the nelson weren't the nelson brothers before our time well they were like their song was like 1990 that's

42:55Ben Mandelker: like that's that's right in the heart of oh you mean you mean nelson yo not like willie nelson i mean like nelson like i can't live without your love and affection you mean like no that's hansen

43:09Ronnie Karam: that's hansen oh my god if it was hansen that would be mortifying shakey dad i had sex with some 16 year olds it's like okay that's that's i guess it would have been really young then so that's awkward okay so who's nelson nelson they the two brothers the long blonde hair and their dad

43:25Ben Mandelker: was um a famous singer they're both nepo babies and like they're like it's connected to that whole like carney wilson mama's and papa's world or whatever but nelson um they they have they had like a a moment in like 1990 1991 and they had a song that says i can't live without your love and affection i can't live another day on my own no no no no no no no no no i can't live without your it's actually an amazing song and they have yeah i'm surprised they didn't last honestly Well, the last I heard of them was when I went to Disney World in 2010, and I went to Epcot, and I was drinking around the world.

44:11And when I got to the America part of drinking around the world there,

44:15Ben Mandelker: I had a Bud Light with my friend Michelle, and they have a little stage. We went to the stage, and Nelson took the stage, and they had cut off their hair. Their hair was short. And they were singing all their dad songs. And then at the end, they said, Okay, and now this is a song that I think you guys may have heard of. And it was like, I can't live without your love and affection.

44:37Tamra Judge: I can't live another day on my own.

44:40Ronnie Karam: People laughed. They're like, I'm not going to sit here and listen to this short-haired bullshit. I'm out of here.

44:45Ben Mandelker: Honestly, when they had that long hair, it was really fun. You should look up a picture of them. They were like Targaryens. They were like two singing Targaryens. I've got them in my head.

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46:35Ronnie Karam: So, Gretchen, so Tamara fucks. Ricky Nelson was your dad. Ricky Nelson, yeah, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. He was a big star.

46:43Ben Mandelker: Someone's gonna be like, it was Ricky Nelson. Ricky Nelson was your father. Ricky Nelson is your father.

46:50Ronnie Karam: So, yeah, Tamara fucks somebody. Probably Nelson. and um heather's like

46:58Ben Mandelker: okay i'm sorry i i don't want to belabor this point if you knew nelson was i think you would really co-sign like it would make total sense if tamra tried to fuck one of the nelson brothers like it just if you knew what the nelson brothers look like you'd be like okay i'm looking at them

47:15Ronnie Karam: right now okay here's what what came up nelson mandela willie nelson that's not yeah um lord nelson and nelson here they are they both look like uh gretchen they both actually look like christen takeman here i'll put it up i'll put it up on the screen so people can see who are watching on demand

47:40Ben Mandelker: because this is this is i also i have a nelson i have a nelson one as well let's see what yep uh-huh right basically it's actually like laurie wearing and vicky it's actually very close to laurie wearing and vicky yeah it's not even joking like the one on the left is vicky the one on the right is laurie wearing this is like you know this is do you think they've made out

48:01Ronnie Karam: i think they've made out yeah there i said it no with each other okay so let's uh remove this now short-haired from my screen okay once they lost their once they they cut their hair they

48:16Ben Mandelker: lost a lot of appeal, right?

48:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's biblical. It's what happened to Samson. He was very strong. He was like the strongest man in the world. And then his girlfriend, Delilah, cut his hair. And then he couldn't fight anybody. And I think he got killed. Did he get killed? Probably. Because that's what happened to people with long hair who cut their hair.

48:35Ben Mandelker: You know what? I stand by Delilah. She's like, you know what? If you can't fight with short hair, then you could never fight in the first place. Get this together. Delilah for the win.

48:46Ronnie Karam: So Heather is like, was Tamara married when she had sex with Nelson? And Gretchen's like, meh. She just shrugs. She says, oh, that would be bad. Oh, God, this is ancient history. Who cares? Who cares if Tamara cheated on her guy? Except that Tamara's a total hypocrite, of course, and was coming for Gretchen that whole time for cheating. So, yeah, I guess it would matter 13 years ago.

49:09Ben Mandelker: So, but he also, and by the way, and note, note how willing and able and unbothered Gretchen is by casually just dropping an allegation against Tamara. Now, I'm not offended by the allegation. I'm just saying that when they raked Katie over their coals and Gretchen's saying, I would never say that.

49:33Tamra Judge: I never said that.

49:33Ben Mandelker: And then here she is just happily just throwing out an allegation that could be harmful to Tamara. And please don't, this is not a Tamara defense. This is more of a like, hey, Gretchen moment for me. Just notice, everyone. Just notice.

49:49Ronnie Karam: That would have been during the Simon years, right?

49:53Ben Mandelker: It doesn't matter. Was it never? There was never there never was a break in between Simon and Eddie, which is. Oh, that's true. So it was one of them.

50:01Ronnie Karam: Well, OK. So now they go back to Heather's penthouse and Heather's like, oh, Alfredo Nate is here. Hello. Hello, Butler. And he's like, hey. And Emily's like, hey, Nate, did you ever work at the Abbey? He's like, no, I have not worked it. Would you do it? You should do it, Nate. Take it off, Nate. Hey, Nate, I've got a gummy worm in my purse.

50:30Ben Mandelker: I did audition to be in Downton Abbey the final chapter but that didn't work out for me that's why I'm still dressed like this

50:39Ronnie Karam: it is so special that you guys are sleeping over so I wanted to make it cute the theme is tent city let's go in

50:51Ben Mandelker: I just wanted to have a nice cozy sleepover that involves a full spread a buffet, a butler who stares at us, and canopy beds that are actually just doubles that are way too small for any of us.

51:03Ronnie Karam: All right. You might notice that I put mosquito netting over the bed. I did this so your pore doesn't leak onto me during the night. Hope nobody minds. Okay, jump in. Isn't this fun? We're girls with beds with lights on them.

51:18Ben Mandelker: Only Heather would say, come over for a fun girls' night sleepover and then arrange the room like an orphanage with mosquito netting. It's a

51:29Ronnie Karam: hard knock life for you. It's a hard knock life. Get out of my house. Get out of my house.

51:36Ben Mandelker: Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'm cleaning this place down tomorrow with disinfectant. Get out of my house.

51:47Ronnie Karam: So they jump on the beds and they're like, oh my god, this is so great. And Emily tells us, Annabelle had a sleepover for her 12th birthday, and they laid on the couch and watched a movie named Popcorn. But I go to Heather's house and have a custom bed and twinkle lights and candy and a butler. Oh, I feel like a shitty mom.

52:04Ben Mandelker: Well, one thing doesn't have to do with another. But, yeah, you're not a shitty mom because you're not. One thing I will say, to Emily's credit, sounds like she actually put on the better sleepover of the two, if you ask me.

52:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because Heather ain't serving carbs at hers. that's for sure well she does have candy which i guess are carbs but she has all the fat free candy you know she's like only only gummy type thing there will be no chocolate

52:32Ben Mandelker: i oh i brought my favorite candy because it's what i that's how i describe the cash in my savings

52:39Ronnie Karam: good and plenty good and plenty cost of heather's sleepover fifteen thousand dollars okay you're just, there are people that are starving, ma 'am. Okay. You did not need to put mosquito netting with lights over Gretchen for Christ's sake. Yeah.

52:58Ben Mandelker: Get a few air mattresses, put them down.

53:01Ronnie Karam: Let them sleep in your sexy time penthouse. Yeah.

53:06Ben Mandelker: If you just, yeah.

53:12Ben Mandelker: You're wealthy enough that you should have a big enough sofa that you guys should have all been able to sleep like everyone else has a sleepover, which is like a few kids on the floor and one kid on the sofa. That's how it goes.

53:21Ronnie Karam: She should have had servants come out and hold them to sleep. You know what I mean? Just be human beds. They all have to stand there all night with their arms kind of out. I think the servants just get on their hands and knees.

53:34Ben Mandelker: They line up next to each other and then someone just sleeps across them. Yeah, that's good.

53:39Ronnie Karam: Could you move your spine over a little bit, Alfredo? Okay, perfect. perfect thank you so um they all have monogrammed pajamas etc they love that so in temecula it's time for swimsuit swim swimsuit shirts so they've got t-shirts yes we've got wacky wacky shower caps wacky swim caps to wear with flowers on them and jen comes into shannon to check on her and shannon's like oh i'm just so tired first of all your your cap is on backwards come on, come on, Jen I'm trying here with you, Jen it is?

54:13Tamra Judge: I'm so sorry, how can you tell? it's like, well, it's because my mother my grandmother used to wear these all the time and I'm not saying that I'm one to wear a synchronized swimming turban all the time, but I do wear these actually when the cameras aren't rolling, so okay, turn it around turn it around

54:35Gretchen Rossi: right here, this is the Dubrow joint that I brought. I brought a Dubrow joint. This is like a vacation situation and Heather's marijuana is like the voov of marijuana. You don't need to save. You need to save that for a special occasion. It's like an emergency joint. We're busting it out.

54:56Ben Mandelker: Tell me you are banking on Heather's real estate contacts without telling me that you're banking on Heather's real estate contacts. Oh my God, Heather Dubrow has the best weed in all of Southern California. Okay. You can sell your two-bedroom house to my maid. Enjoy. This is

55:17Ronnie Karam: my friend Gina. She's the leader in the market of servants' quarters. So if anybody needs something, Gina, you sold a 5 ,000 square foot maid's home. Good for you. She's so talented. I bought her that jacket. No, you didn't

55:36Ben Mandelker: Shut up, you won't get allowance So, Tamara's like

55:42Tamra Judge: Did I do okay? Did I do okay? Actually, honestly I'm like proud of you I feel like you did a good job of taking ownership of stuff and also communicating the way that you feel

55:57Ben Mandelker: When did Tamara do any of that? Tamara was just doing the Tamara bullshit

56:02Tamra Judge: you know tamara's like yeah well you know what i'm not a fucking walk in the park okay oh really

56:08Ronnie Karam: i would never have thought so yeah um so now gina's like you know i do think tamra wants to change but like she's been in therapy for like 10 minutes and like you gotta give people speech

56:21Gretchen Rossi: for ghouls okay that's how just that's just how my accent is today speech for ghouls i don't know I'm talking like that, but I am

56:29Ronnie Karam: speaking single. What is she pronouncing her words like that? Does she even have an accent? Because she's starting to remind me of Brittany from like the Valley Vanderpump Rules who came home with a little lilt and now is all of a sudden like, Halloween, David, the Star Wars. Like, where is this

56:47Ben Mandelker: coming from? You guys stop playing. I know. So then Jen's checking in on Shannon and she's like,

56:53Tamra Judge: are you okay after dinner? I'm just wondering.

56:56Ben Mandelker: And Shannon's like, oh, well, you know,

56:57Tamra Judge: it's just a little exhausting. I mean, it was a lot of shaking of that twig. So my arm is just a little tired right now. Jen's like, well, you know, you know what Gina told me? Gina just said, I don't care. I'm sorry. Gina just said, I care about Tamara. I've known her a long time,

57:13Ben Mandelker: but I don't get into my deep, dark secrets with Tamara because that's what you do with your best friends. You hold them at arm's length and don't share anything with them. And then you announce how close you are with them. That's just what she does. Like, wow, it sounds like you're chosen a really great friend if you can't even say anything to them without fear that they're going to regurgitate it and use it against you.

57:36Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so Jen's like, yeah, her cycle's never going to stop. That's just who she is. But let's have some fun. Spoiler alert, they don't, ever. This is miserable. This trip is miserable. Shannon's miserable. Shannon really is the big downer on this trip. Like, whatever she thinks about Tamara, she's still being extremely tiring on television. It's like, come on, perk up, perk up. So now they decide to go have fun. And then back at Heather, Heather's penthouse, Heather's penthouse, Gretchen and Emily are now in Heather's room, I guess, trying on her clothes and throwing her Fendi boxes around and putting on fur coats.

58:16Ben Mandelker: I didn't know what was going on in this situation. This was definitely like the, the movie that did come out like in 1991, one where like the poor children get like brought into like the, the rich family. And then they start like raiding the evil step mom's closet and like putting on coats and like oversized hats and heels. And it's silly. And then she comes in and yells at them and they hatch a plan to like throw eggs at her and make her life torture. You know, that it just, that sounds really good.

58:42Ronnie Karam: Actually. What's that movie? It's, it's called the Gretchen trap. I'm really into orphan movies. When I was a kid, my dream was that I was adopted and my real parents were out there somewhere. And I love that movie, Annie. And I lived on the second, my bedroom was on the second story. And so I used to open my window and I used to sit on the windowsill and just sing out to the street. Maybe far away. I would sing songs from Annie, like I was an orphan to the whole street. I was like 10. the orphan genre just love it wasn't wasn't there that movie the journey of the of natty gan

59:25Ben Mandelker: i remember it wasn't like a girl who was like orphaned who was just trying to find something

59:29Ronnie Karam: like was that the girl who ran away and like put all of her stuff in a bindle and then met like the the the gangsters on the train tracks or whatever is that what that was i think so No, that was Seeking Savannah or Searching for Savannah or something like that. Oh, God, those were so good. And my mom was like, get in your room or you're going to be grounded.

59:51Gretchen Rossi: And I was like, no, I'm adopted. I'm going to find my real parents.

59:54Ronnie Karam: And she's like, Ronnie, look at your toes. You've got webbed feet. You're ours. Because the Lebanese side, we all have webbed toes. And she's like, just look at your feet. Your dream is dead.

1:00:11Ben Mandelker: I hate to break it to you, but your parents are alive. Now, get in the car. We're going to the restaurant to make a scene.

1:00:18Ronnie Karam: Get in the car. We're going to Alvila so I can be served last.

1:00:29Ben Mandelker: If I were an orphan.

1:00:33Ronnie Karam: I gotta have a dream. Okay, so we're back at the penthouse, and they're doing, like, pillow fights and stuff, and Gretchen's just wasted.

1:00:41Gretchen Rossi: rolling around in heather's furs and saying i need this code in my life i feel like i'm fabulous oh my gosh this is what it would be be like to be a billionaire and then ben mandelker walks in

1:00:56Ben Mandelker: the room i'm sorry i meant heather dubrow with a look of disgust on her face and she's like what's gretcher's what is wrong with you note how i used gretcher's which shows that i am fun and relatable because I use your nickname, which doesn't even make sense.

1:01:10Tamra Judge: She's like, oh, everything is fine, Heather. Everything is fine.

1:01:15Ben Mandelker: Heather is like, I don't know if you realize this, but I sanction off a small part of my apartment to have silly fun times, and this is not in the silly fun time zone. I do have to insist that we leave here and resume all pillow fighting in the living room slash orphanage.

1:01:32Ronnie Karam: Thank you for that. Alfredo is leading out the other Alfredo in handcuffs. he's like what did i do this is what you get for letting them pass the rope

1:01:42Ben Mandelker: you have one job one job actually two jobs if you include bringing silverware to another room

1:01:49Ronnie Karam: well i guess we're not making the human bed tonight we're down in alfredo all right everybody let's come back to the light-hearted room i feel like i got in trouble with mom

1:02:04Ben Mandelker: You did, actually. You feel that way because you did.

1:02:09Ronnie Karam: It's fine. The pillows are fine. Everything is going to be fine. Oh, good.

1:02:14Ben Mandelker: We are back in the zone of fun. Hey, does anybody want pizza? Pizza. It's a round dough thing with cheese and tomato sauce. I once used a slice of it to show I was relatable in New York when I dropped some of it on my knee. It was hilarious. Look, I found a whole box of it in my kitchen. Come have some.

1:02:35Ronnie Karam: Would anybody like to have the most lighthearted meal on the planet? Pizza. Let's do it.

1:02:43Ben Mandelker: How fun is this? Wow. So Emily is like, I need a volume. Hey, Nate, you ever work at the Abbey? I'm just going to ask you one more time just to remind you. He's like, I have not.

1:02:57Ronnie Karam: So they eat pizza. And now the grilling begins. Emily's like, so let's, Heather goes, let's talk shit about people. Okay, Gretchen, I'm still intrigued by this song of tambours. Was it a pop song?

1:03:10Gretchen Rossi: She's like, I don't freaking remember. What the heck am I supposed to know about it? I don't know nothing. You can't do nothing to me.

1:03:17Ronnie Karam: Gretchen's all wasted.

1:03:19Gretchen Rossi: She's like, what are you talking about? I need some pizza. You better call 911 and give me some pizza.

1:03:26Ben Mandelker: Why do you have her singing, first and foremost?

1:03:29Tamra Judge: Oh, because somebody sent it to Slade. So you just kept it?

1:03:34Ben Mandelker: Well, I mean, Heather, yes, of course you keep something like that. What are you going to delete it? Come on. Of course you keep it. Of course you keep it. It's Tamara singing, singing a Nelson song.

1:03:45Tamra Judge: I can't hear without you. Love and affection. Do me. Do me right now. Live, laugh, love, yeah, baby.

1:03:59Ben Mandelker: She was really ahead of her time if she was singing that in 1991. Oh, yeah.

1:04:03Gretchen Rossi: And Gretchen's like, because someone sent it to Slade, that's why.

1:04:08Ronnie Karam: So you kept it.

1:04:09Gretchen Rossi: No, they sent it to him, and he just had it.

1:04:12Ronnie Karam: Wait a minute. Why does Slade have it? Does he have an archive? Ask him for this song. I just want to hear this song.

1:04:17Gretchen Rossi: Oh, you guys are going to get me in trouble.

1:04:19Ronnie Karam: I want to hear it, too. Come on, let's jam to it. Gretchen, go get your phone. Gretchen. I'm like pulling off my skin on the other side of the TV. I'm like, please stop saying Gretchen.

1:04:33Ben Mandelker: It's so funny. Gretchen. It's just like one millimeter away from just being Gretchen. Just down a little bit. So Emily's like, so Gretchen says, yeah, this is not good.

1:04:44Tamra Judge: This could be like really bad. Oh my God. I don't want to show it. They want to show it. You guys. Then World War nine is about to happen.

1:04:53Ronnie Karam: World War nine. I honestly believe that Gretchen does not know how many world wars there have been.

1:05:00Gretchen Rossi: World War night was about to happen.

1:05:06Ronnie Karam: So back in Temecula, Shanna's like, look, I can stand the crackers and synchronize screaming. Like, oh, my God, Shanna said screaming. What is, oh, she's putting together a snack tray.

1:05:19Ben Mandelker: I see. Yeah. She meant to say swimming. And she sort of lays out the, she lays out the crackers with a flourish because it's like synchronized swimming. And Tamara's like, we should take a picture. And Jen tells us, okay, you see, this is the stuff I love. This is a girl's trip. You know, putting crackers on a tray. That's what we live for. Those moments. And Tamara's got fun, you know, ups, you know, ups for, stuff for us, stuff for us to go swimming in. And when I get back, I'm going to think about what our friend was like before all this. And, you know, Tamara and I had fun and Tamara's a good time, you know.

1:05:51Ben Mandelker: And Tamara, they're, like, taking photos. And then Gina does this whole bit about how Shannon's, like, the madam of the synchronized swim team. And they do, like, this whole bit of, like, Shannon being a synchronized swimmer. And it's, like, silliness in Temecula.

1:06:07Ronnie Karam: Yeah, they're having a crazy time. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.

1:06:20Ben Mandelker: See you over there, suckers. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

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1:09:08Ronnie Karam: It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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