#3017 Below Deck Med S10E11: Bro Choice

0:20Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Well, so great. Thank you for asking. Everybody, welcome to the show. Today is Below Deck Day. It's very exciting over here, guys. We have to make a choice. The season is almost over. How have we gone so long without a lead deckhand? Oh, my goodness. Who will get the ceremonial title that means nothing at all? Who is running this country? So we're going to figure that out today. and every Monday now we do Amazon Live at 4 p.m. Pacific time. That's a super good time if you just want to come see us, act like idiots on Amazon Live.

1:02That's always fun. And we can talk to you and take your questions, et cetera. Every other Monday, this coming Monday included, we are going to be doing Crappy Hour. So join us for that. That's our live show where we talk to you guys about Bravo Headlines, et cetera. And this week will be our last for the season, for the year. And guess what? This week is our 600th bonus episode, which is insane. That's insanity and inanity. That's 600 weeks that we've been doing bonus episodes, Ben. How do you feel about that? 600 weeks, 600 divided by 52. I mean, well, we've been doing bonus episodes since we've been on Patreon, which is about 2014.

1:48So, whoa. I mean, if you think about it, 52 weeks in a year, that's over 10 years of bonus episodes, which you also could do without the math just by looking at the fact that we started in 2014. But, yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that's a lot, guys. So join us. That is going to be a Summer House preview, which is fitting because Summer House was one of that's the first show we covered when we did our first live show in New York City with the cast of Summer House there. So that's super fun. And so it's, I don't know, it's like all these nice, like nice little anniversary things happening. So join us for that.

2:24Patreon is also where you get videos of all our recaps like this one. And just smile for the people there on the video. And that's it. That's all we have to talk about today. Oh, we are recording a Christmas movie with Reality Gaze. That is going to be My Secret Santa, super classy movie on Netflix. So check that out. That'll be Christmas is when that comes out. Okay. So what do you want to talk about today, man? Below Deck would be a great thing to talk about. I'm very excited to chat about it. Don't threaten me with a good time. Yeah. We've got more adventure happening here. Adventure! But in the Mediterranean.

3:05So Kizzy is... We start off... Kizzy is still feeling like she's got all the boys wrapped on a finger in a string or whatever. She says she used to. She says, I used to have all the boys wrapped around my, wrapped like a string around my finger. And now I feel like my only option is Nathan. And I don't want him. I just want a snog. Oh, poor Kizzy. So it's the morning, the morning of the next charter. Okay, everyone's waking up. Max is very enthusiastic. He's a let's rock these days to Josh, which is nice that someone's talking to Josh and acknowledging that he exists. And V and Joe are like lying in bed together.

3:47and via is like you still want to see me after and he's like yes and she's like but what about the expiration date he's like well it's expired already sorry i can't control myself and then he starts kissing on her i'm all in with you i'm all in you're all i think about day night i've never felt like this i'm all in with you um i was reported to me i did not watch but apparently he was on watch what happens and was talking about this relationship and was like well you know I told her I didn't you know I told her what I was capable of and she just kept trying to reel me in oh she kept on trying to reel you in weren't she the one who was courting her didn't see that one coming Joe you fucking douchebag she was just trying to reel me in I could only give so much I've never done this before this is one of the craziest things I've ever done I don't know what to do I don't want to hurt her it's so crazy the thing is i open my eyes and there you are and i close my eyes and you're still there that's difficult nathan calls gail from the dock and she's like how are you doing and he's like i'm just chilling on the dock what time is it there almost midnight he's like oh fucking hell oh i definitely miss gail so much she's my comfort zone every time i'm kissing kizzy i'm like imagine if this were gail and then i kiss kissy some more and i think imagine if i were still kissing gail and i kiss kissy even more and i think wow this is a long kiss with gail except it's with kissy yeah i love nathan just tried to ban kissy like literally last night and was stymied by what asia coming into the room and being like go to bed and now i was like oh i love i just can't i've got to stop messing with gail like oh okay all right buddy so um gail's talking about how she wants to buy a sailing yacht because she met a family and she was a deck captain and her husband's a captain and they've just been sailing around the world with their two kids and that's what she wants to do with Nathan.

5:49Well, I mean, that's one way to get him to stop banging randos. Yeah, just literally put him on a boat and sail the world. Be like, there's no one in the Pacific for you. Trap him on a boat. He chained it with a dolphin. I didn't like it. it was a hollow hookup i don't like it you're not the dolphins not you gal i don't know why i did it even it's like i'm self-destructive yeah and he woke up with zero interest in kissing kizzy anymore because he's more focused on relationships he care about he cares about i don't know about that one i'm really i just wish i was there to block gail from coming onto this boat and getting impregnated but unfortunately i can't be there so they hang up their call and then we go to isha in the laundry and Sandy appears and she's like, hey, hey, hey, guess what?

6:36I don't have any clean shirts, okay? That's kind of important, all right? But you know what? All's good in the hood, okay? Did you have fun last night? Did you have fun? Did you have fun? I had fun in a dirty shirt. It smelled, you know? But that's just me. I don't want you to feel bad about it. It just smelled terrible. It smelled like Norma. Just gently. Wow. You know what I say every time Norma falls into the front of her car? All's well in the hood, right? Okay. Sure. Norma's in the head. Okay. So, uh. Norma, the only woman who cars are more afraid of than they are a big car. You should have seen Herbie the love bug the first time you saw Norma.

7:15Just drove in circles and went, sped him right away as soon as possible. Right off the cliff. Right off the cliff. He said, no more of this life. That was the last of Herbie. She said, no more. Yeah. Yeah, that was the end of Herbie. Oh, God. Fully loaded of regret. Speaking of love bugs, you know crabs are the only, Norma's the only person that crabs crawl off of. Off of, yeah. Yeah. They get away. Oh, yeah. So anyway, Aisha, tell me something. Oh, did you have a fun time last night? Oh, we had such a good fun time. I put on my biggest, puffiest sleeves and had a great time. But honestly, I can't wait to see Scott because he can't have an episode where I say I miss Scott.

8:03It's really difficult, though, because I was dancing with the chef and we were trying to do the thumbs to the side dance, you know, as you do. And he just couldn't really get it. So I really need Scott back in my life. Have you ever done the dance where you sit in the middle of the dance floor and you just sort of take up as much room as possible, put your hands out in each direction, you sway left and right and left and right. It's so fun. It's hard, isn't it? The thumb dance. No, missing Scott. Gosh, I miss Scott. I don't really even know him. I just remember those stories you used to tell about living in a van with him and pooping in buckets.

8:44God, that's romance right there. We're talking about Willard Scott, right? No, I don't know who that is. I just always wanted Will or Scott to congratulate me on becoming 100. Well, I guess that dream's dead. You know, it'd be nice someday to see my face on a smucker's bottle. But I guess we'll just have to wait. So now Josh is groaning as he gets up. And it's like, sad clown horn. And then we go to V. And she farts in a song. I really love the editing for V this year. Just really kicking her in the ass. V farts? She farted? Yeah, you didn't hear it? She was like, Oh, I thought that was Asha who was farting.

9:31I don't know. You never know on this show. Maybe we got it confused in the notes. Who knows? Oh, okay. So then Max brings Kathy a very needy mug on the deck. And it's like, hello, what's wrong? And he's like, oh, I need this detachment since this is the first conversation we've had, you and me. It's like, is this enough? Is it not enough? Am I being too much? I don't know. Maybe I'm too much. Maybe I'm too little. Am I too little or too much? I'm sitting on your lap. This is okay. No. I'm moving into your house. Picture me with luggage. Moving to your house. Mama! Mama, please don't leave me. Please.

10:06Please stand back. Go. Please. Please. It's too early and I'm too British for this. please go away thank you so much can't deal with this at all yeah he's like oh i always attract this kind of woman uh i know they fucking like me but they don't show it huh and it's pissing me off because i'm open book i'm open book you're an open book of fucking psycho bro close your book okay no one wants to come across an open book the library is not full of open books they are full they're full with closed books you have to entice me to open the book okay no one wants to read an open book yeah that that book is not being read just because it's open doesn't mean it's good so let's close that book and put it back on the shelf and move on okay i mean by the way how how like guy is this to be like oh like i know she likes me but she's just not showing it uh that's gonna get you into big trouble someday sir yeah i feel like you're gonna be saying that in court one day for sure.

11:05I know. She's like, okay, but we have a good thing here. I just, I'm just asking for a little bit less pressure and some more time to see where things flourish. Basically, what I'd like is for him to compliment me and then walk away and I don't have to see him for the next 24 hours. So, okay, goodbye. Listen, we've got a good thing going. You know how you come up to me and you're simpering and sort of wah, wah, wah and I just kind of look at you and pat you on the head and send you on your way? That's romance. Right. That's romance Please But you do not want cuddles No cuddles No No Just Okay If I look you in the eyes That means you have to leave Okay Goodbye So he's like I see you later She's like Okay well let me know Whatever it is you figure out And he walks away And she's just like Oh god And that's the thing about being on a boat You know there's not many options And once you choose That option is always following you around It's like going to a restaurant and ordering like a rigatoni.

12:03You don't like the rigatoni. It's soggy. And then the rigatoni just follows you around the restaurant. Like, have this cleared. Yeah, just a bad choice. It's a bad haircut. You're just sort of stuck with it for a little bit. So everyone's prepping the boat and V and Joe are flirting. This is, by the way, a big episode for V blowing her nose. They put in any chance they can. Anytime they cut to V, they show her blowing her nose, which also I hate on blow deck when you see someone getting sick. I don't like to watch people getting sick anyway because we've all been there. It's like the worst, like that's the worst.

12:38When you feel something coming on and then you try to like tell yourself it's just allergies and you know it's not allergies, but you're getting sick. And I'm like, I don't want to watch someone else go through that. In fact, I don't want to see someone blowing their nose, tooting their nose. So, but that's what we see the entire episode. It's like, like everything's happening. There's chaos, there's joy, there's fun. And then it just cuts the V be like, I don't like it. Yeah. Lots of nose blowing. So she's doing that. And Joe's still flirting with her. And Aisha is complaining because there's suede on this boat.

13:10She's like, who does that? Like, this is water. We're on the water. And then Kizzy is carrying two giant bags of, guess what, provisions. Which we just complained last week about not seeing provisions. And here they are. So there you go. And Nathan has a bouquet of flowers. And he's like, well, I couldn't just hand you flowers. and she says oh my god i genuinely don't even like you and he says yeah the feeling's mutual i only like you when i'm drunk and she gives him the double fingers but yeah but it's true um so asia oh here's where asia was farting i apologize so i assume then that v did fart in her are we sure didn't she farted or she she may have just been blowing her nose it's hard to know what sort of ar came out of her butt well we're blowing her nose out of her butt but yeah blowing her nose out of her butt all of the same but now here's Aisha actually farting as well in the galley so other people hear the farts and they react to the fart and they move on from the fart and now Joe and Max are on deck and they're talking about how they really work together so well and Joe's like we work well as a team and Max's like oh yeah I work fucking hard I mean you saw it for the fifth chapter it was only me and him so i know he knows like what my value is but i think that like you're better because bro you go like more and more into like the finishing bro when i see you like this you're like this you're working and i'm like okay okay he's working it's like so much it's like it's like a lot of work yeah it's like okay all right because we just saw we just saw joe on hands and knees and with his butt sticking way up like he was really like spreading his cheeks to do it so he's like wow I think you win with this.

14:54I suck on hold. And Joe's like, well, we're going to get money. Good times. And after this, we're going to fucking send it. What do you think about that? Yes, like son of Zod. I'm like, I don't know what that means. So now it's time for the preference sheet meeting. Everyone gets, you know, it's funny that we call it preference sheet because it's not a tablet. Should we call it preference tablet? I don't know. And if I had a preference tablet, it'd probably be Advil. God, it's such a good pain reliever. Okay, we are doing the interior-exterior preference sheet meeting now, everyone. So let's hear what everyone wants.

15:27Okay, Charter 6. Okay, Asha, do you have anything to say about this? It's going to be so exciting. Son of Zod is from Superman. I thought Zod sounded like a Superman reference, but I couldn't be sure. This is going to be the most fun Charter. So Cameron is a former football player who's now in commercial real estate. He wants to trade his friends to a once-in-a-lifetime trip. Look, okay, you can calm down. Commercial real estate is the most exciting thing I've heard in ages. Have fun, commercial real estate. He's an escrow. So, Benjamin Benjamin is Cameron's childhood best friend And he oversees all of Cameron's business projects That's fun And, oh, David David's the youngest of the group Kizzy, do you have a lady burner yet?

16:33Kizzy's like, David Yeah Yeah He's a professional fighter Who's traveled the world competing in mixed martial arts

16:48and then because he's like I'm getting married okay and we got TJ he's a retired NFL player because he got the Max out of his contract with his team I'm sure right anyone get it okay his name is TJ if you put TJ and Max together oh in Europe it's called TK Max sorry other me I heard football and I just tuned out just tuned out well mark has been cameron sommelier for the past seven years and he's looking forward to sharing his skills during the trip you travel with your own sommelier wow something no i think mark was supposed to be on a different charter i sincerely believe i don't know this for sure i believe that they have people that they put on these shows and they like mix and match them and they're like okay these two people are with these two people you guys are all gonna go on a charter together because it always seems like they're people that just don't like like how does this person fit in with everyone else and this happens every charter and now you got this guy mark you got all these like these young like big football players and then this like old this old dude named mark who's just like hanging around i assumed he was just like an agent but then to read now that he was the sommelier i'm like what that's pretty crazy to travel with your sommelier um but they're doing a wine tasting yeah so um they've also got a freestyle battle rapper who toured with Lil Wayne.

18:13Okay. So it's a big one. It's a big one, guys. So, chose like the guest are excited to be in Barcelona during the America's Cup and we're hoping that they'll get a chance to watch the race from the yacht during the trip. I've never done that before with a woman. Never done it. But I shall today. I'm a changed man. Yeah. And at the mere mention of America's Cup, oh my God, the America's Cup is an incredible race that happens every four years. I mean, it's the equivalent to the World Cup of Soccer, but it's in America. As with a cup, you know what they also, have you ever heard of Norma's Cup? It's basically the same thing as the America's Cup, except it's basically a 32-ounce big gulp from 7-Eleven.

18:51Anyway, also very exciting. God, I can't wait to see it. This is a big deal. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

19:08So, um, It's just like, for night one, they want to have a night of espionage. What are you going to do? Who killed the wine guy? Night of espionage. And V is like, oh, and day two, the guests want to try their hand at sailing themselves with a sailing lesson and a competition. Oh, and for dinner, they'd like paella Valenciana. So Josh is like, oh, yeah, these guys are going to want a lot of meat. Big boys, NFL players. And Merck. So I'm going to cook 30 animals tonight. 30 animals and also just a few carrots for Merck. So then they're like, okay, great. This is fun. So Nathan is like, Captain Sandy, I thought about it.

20:01And I'm going to appoint my lead duck on now. Okay, great. I mean, we are on episode 11. We probably only have like three episodes left of this season. but so glad you decided to get around to this stupid task. Someone making pee-pee in the party. Someone making pee-pee in the party. Good for you. Choo-choo. Choo-choo. Open up. Getting some food. He's like, I'm going to show Captain Sandy my managerial capabilities by choosing the right lead deckhand. So fingers crossed today goes well. Well, you've got two shitty people to choose from. I know. So good luck with that. I don't know that you can really win on this one.

20:37i think i was just going to be a lead backhand she's too new but she doesn't seem to be making mistakes with the other guys are so why not her why not the she just made one last week with the ropes remember but i don't remember what it was um so um yeah i think i i mean and to say that is kind of a low blow though when you're like well she doesn't have enough experience i mean you're going up against max and max but it's like but here's the thing this is this is exactly the problem is like oh well she made a mistake i mean i'm sure she's made several mistakes over the season and i agree she is new but it's like she made a mistake meanwhile joe and max make giant mistakes all the time max like was that's true driving like like had the guest driving the tender and joe is like slacking off not like where he needs to be and nathan's getting like you know yelled at it's just funny that nathan's entire decision space is still just those two it's like v is not even in consideration even though she's new but she seems to show have like a lot of initiative and be doing a good job it's just it's so funny it's like yeah but anyway let's just look at max and joe um yeah i just figured it's because she's new uh so then we cut to joe but i mean what do i know i don't know i ain't getting a raise on a boat i'll tell you that much i just never would be considered for that because i'm always smoking and talking you know so i would never be slow so i'm just okay i'd be very slow i'm okay with whoever gets it because it's not me i'm okay with whoever gets it because it's not a real position that's like just the thing they do on this show you feel like so um v and joe are talking about their fucking feelings i can't with these two just break up already we know it's coming just dump each other because the worst part of these kinds of relationships is the actual happiness part and i think it's like in any tv show you watch the worst part is watching people be happy that's why they keep breaking them up and like making them fight or cheat on each other no one wants to watch happy people it's disgusting yeah yeah that's why shows always sitcoms always jump the shark when characters get married on them yeah or have the worst the worst day of being a waiter valentine's day by far it is disgusting and even i mean i know not everybody's happy who's there on a valentine's date but they're pretending to be and it's just gross to watch like i don't want to watch you rubbing each other's ears over your shittily cooked steak it's just gross just the worst yeah so uh joe was like last night me and victoria have just done a level up in our friendship um or relationship noticed and he's also doing that thing where he's calling her victoria because that's how that's how sincere he is but i'm so scared of things evolving at a very rapid pace but i'm genuinely interested in her well-being like is she okay does she need someone to talk to can i be there to help and support you're the one who said i want to see you after this charter season's done but you're still gonna like put it on her that things are going too fast for you i've had enough this yeah um that said i also don't like her um using like the boyfriend's death as like some flirt how am i trying to say it like okay will we make it past this part i hope you're ready for me to deal with my boyfriend's death on the anniversary of his death it just seems like such it's like can we go to a movie first you know what i mean like yeah i just met you uh so um yeah he does that so then they do flirty and then they're flirty making jokes about like tying each other up with ropes and then nathan calls for a meeting and he's like we're gonna have a quick meeting i had a chat with captain sandy and she wanted me to appoint the deckhand and joe's like oh i've been open to the possibility ah but i didn't know if i could do it But now I'm all in.

24:20I'm all in. I'm all in with Nathan. I love Nathan. I'm going to marry Nathan. Never thought I'd get to this point. But here I am. This is something new for me. So Max is like, I deserve to leave deckhand position because like when you wanted to sleep and you had food poisoning, I was ready to take responsibility over my shoulder. Okay, because I'm a fighter. I'm a French. I will never surrender myself. I will fight until the end, you know. Okay. So Nathan tells them, listen, guys, so impressed with your progress. Okay. V, you've come on leaps and bounds. Max, you've worked real hard. Joe, you've come on.

25:02You've smashed it as well. And you showed your cornhole while you were shamming in this morning. So based on obviously working with Joe previously and knowing him well and considering the fact that all four of his front teeth touch every time he smiles, I've decided to make him lead that hand. Dun, dun, dun. Oh, I felt like this was going to happen. Oh, my goodness. Look, all this for nothing. What the fuck? What the fuck? Thanks for delegating me later. Oh, it has nothing to do with the friendship. It's all to do with fucking professionalism. All right. Max is very sad. He's ill. He's ill. So, Max is...

25:43Max goes to the back of the yacht and screams.

25:48Sure. There's no screaming into a pillow for that one. I love that. I like that alternative. Just actually going and screaming your head off works. It's like, ah! So now it's time to get into whites, and Kizzy is very excited because she sees all these professional athletes arriving, and she's like, she's literally just being like a stereotypical person in heat. She's like,

26:19It's like, okay, you need to settle down over there. Someone, like, fan this girl. And Asha goes up to a guy and she's like, Oh my God, are you the one that's wrapped with little Wayne? It's amazing. He's like, that's me. And he starts, like, doing a little dance. And she's like, has he ever done the dance on the dance floor where you stand across and you stretch and you sway back and forth? It's like, no, no, not that one. sommelier is just like, I never get any ass with these people. No. Note that he never asks to see the wine, I believe. So Nathan tells Captain Sandy that Joe is lead deckhand.

27:00Okay, all good. And Max is cool with it? Yeah, he is real sweet. I mean, he's just been screaming off the back of the boat for the past half an hour and crying and saying something like, this is worse than the time that his parents abandoned him. But I think he's overall pretty good with it. Cut to Max just meditating in his room like, I am the leader, the leader of the day, cut my own boat. Wow, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong. Ow, mother. Mother.

27:32So he's broken out of his reverie to go take luggage. We see the boat tour, all that good stuff. The guys are playing around with weights in the gym. They're like, yeah, look at that. These weights are so small for us because we're in the NFL. And then Kizzy is already flirting with David And he asks her name And he does in that flirty way He's like, what's your name? Yeah She's like, hello Kizzy So she's giggling and being weird And it's on between those two It is So then David's like So where are you from? England And he's like, oh, so now you're just Single on boats Yeah, I'm single on birds Oh my god, he's like, oh, you're fucking me right now This is absolutely crazy Oh my god And he says he's a professional fighter And she's like, and you're single in professional fighting?

28:24Oh yes, that's the game I've got Game I've got What kind of question is that? I know You're single in professional fighting? She's like trying to like give it back to him Whatever, and he's like Yeah, apparently I'm supposed to fall in love when I'm out here everyone says that for some reason. I don't know. Who am I going to fall in love with? They're going to make hard, will you? Oh, maybe you will. I don't know. And she's like, I love athletes. My ex-boyfriend's a professional athlete. So, David, here I come. Watch out. I've known someone who's played soccer before. Well, table soccer, really.

29:03I mean, but the way you could spin those rods. Football, I guess I should have said. so she's like wow part of me thinks I should start a kissing bingo season bingo sheet this season like yeah you're the girl with dots all over the board but you never win I know and I get it I'm a bingo player like I get the pain for whatever reason she just does not have the star in the center of her bingo card she's like I got a dysfunctional one so then Josh is saying football players eat a lot The worst thing as a chef is to have guests leave the table hungry. And if that ever happens, I'll find my sous chef and slam his face up against the oven and be like, don't do that again, you know.

29:46But I don't want that with these guys. So they're getting a protein packed lunch. You might say, I'm leaving it out all on the field. See what I did there? He's really overplaying this protein thing for these guys. I mean, he's like serves them a moose for lunch. He just puts a moose out. Yeah. it's definitely some Flintstones level meat that's going out there. It's enormous. I think these guys eat every single bite. Yeah, so Kathy comes and sees Max and sits on his lap and she asks him how he's doing. He's like, oh, thank you for to make the world a more beautiful place. Let's drop that anchor, guys.

30:24I feel like Max is crying and I don't want any more French tears in his boat. So drop the anchor, drop the anchor and get the toys out, okay? so now it's lunchtime and david's flirting with kizzy of course and huge steaks are served and all that good stuff and then there are boats uh sailboats for the guests to race each other and then we go to kizzy talking to josh in the kitchen in the galley and asia's behind her and kizzy's like oh my god i'm genuinely gonna try to kiss this guest and he's like are you actually it's like yes well there's no other men on this boat i mean literally not one single penis available left that I haven't tried yet.

31:01I mean, come on. I mean, honestly, if I were just in the same room as someone who had a penis, I would do something. I mean, goodness. He's like, okay. So, um, the guys all love the food, and she's just horny, you know, and she just keeps on saying, like, we're gonna fuck. I'm gonna do so many crazy things to him. And he's just like, okay, that's enough. I mean, Kizzy definitely gives kid sister in some sort of musical right like some sort of musical that takes place like on a prairie it's like did you see samuel today i reckon that he likes me and later today he's gonna take me out to the waterfall and i believe he's gonna say that he wants to go steady with me i mean like that's all she does just like the girl in the kitchen who's like he likes me you know i think i like him too but then nothing ever happens yeah uh she's crying in the end you know That's always what happens with those characters.

31:59They act like that, but then you see them like that. They're really sad. Yeah, because they're always the ones that the authors make them go through some terrible trauma. Like they either get consumption or their house burns down and they have to be rescued. Yeah, they're like coughing up blood. They always go through some shit. It's like Nicole Kidman. It all looks like it's fun and games, but it's like you're coughing up blood in your can-can dress by the end. Yeah. I mean, I think the fun kind of sluttiness is a little more silent. Like, I don't know, my kind of sluttiness. Like you just go fuck people and it's not, it's not a big silent slut.

32:29It's a performative. It's the performative nature of the, it's the acting out. Cause it could be anything. It could be someone who's really into tap dancing, you know, and that's all they do. They're like, oh my God, you guys today traffic was horrible. It was like a triple time step. I'm not even kidding you. And you're like, okay, we get it. You tap dance, you know, it's like that, but with penises. So Asia is saying like, you know, oh, this is kind of boys. because Kizzy knows that you can have a fun flirt, but you can't ever get to the point where they think that they could lean in and kiss you.

33:00But I'm just going to trust Kizzy to respect those boundaries. I was like, good luck with that, Kizzy. Yeah. Kizzy's like, I'm going to shag on the bunny pad. Please don't, all right? So now the naughty boys go in the water, and Joe's like, now that I've got this lead deckhand roll, Nathan's got another level of trust now on deck, and we've only got half a charter of a season. Let's make it a good one Teeth together So now they're putting jet skis in the water And Joe's like This is the best day of the season so far And Max is just like Doing nothing He's just on the Naughty Boys Like bouncing around And Sandy's like Hey guys how was your lunch So listen The America's Cup is happening right now And some say it's the Super Bowl of sailing Or maybe I should say The Super Bowl is the America's Cup of football No offense to you guys But this is really cool What's happening out there These boats do 65 miles an hour That's crazy And Aisha's like That's a 12th in 10 minutes Today's race begins with the Alingi Red Bull and the American Magic Okay Did I say that right?

34:12Alingi Red Bull and American Magic American Magic That's why I say Norma has to rely on to get a date Josh put away your clown nose Okay, that wasn't a cue for you to come up here. Okay, go back downstairs. I've got a penis too. We know you've got a penis. Okay, keep eating your pants. Go down there. Okay, everyone, gather around. We got front row seats to see some boats far away go kind of fast. Okay, come on, let's be fun. It is kind of funny watching this. Like, I get it. I believe that the America's Cup is a huge deal. But it's funny watching it because it's just like... Yeah, it's like...

34:51And America's Cup is one of the iconic, you know, major events, like sporting events in the world. Like it's, it is super famous, but it does have, because it's just like a boat and all you see is like water. It's hard to kind of like get the sense of speed. So you're just looking at like a boat on water and you're like, oh, there it goes. It's a boat. That is a boat. It is speeding. God, I feel so bad for the Alinghi. Wow. They're losing. Poor Alinghi. a losey that's what we're gonna call him a lingering in loss okay a lingy oh god you know i love their cookbooks oh i'm sorry that's odd a lingy so confusing sometimes hey does anyone see taylor swift anywhere i hear that she's into football and this is kind of like the football of boats so no okay so asia's like oh my god this is why i love yachting you get paid to be where people by the bay and so then we see um basically a guy tj who's like the big social media guy i guess he's like oh yeah football player yeah uh yeah but he's the one who's always doing social media is what i mean because we see him a lot of stories on the boat he's like yeah have you ever seen somebody in two waters at the same time because i'm on the water but i'm also in a hot tub.

36:10That's right, Instagram. Double watering. Oh, come on, TJ. You're missing the boat going a little faster than the other boat. Come on, turn around. So, Max has connected the Tinder incorrectly, which is bad. And Nathan's like, it's not good. And Max is like, I'm 29. I have a goal to be lead, deckhand, and boson. And I can lead with greater authenticity, integrity, and giving clear instruction. I will be proud. I will save my grandkids. Oh, I'm bosun for Captain Sandy. But Nathan, you make me go away from my goals. I can't let this happen. I cannot be bosun. He said bosun like, whenever he says bosun, he goes like really deep.

36:54He's like, bosun. So, yeah, so he fixes it and everything. But he's definitely losing his motivation. And now Isha goes to Josh to talk about what dinner's going to be. And he has his whole plan of like pasta and beef and potatoes and veggies and sea bass. and crab and all this stuff. So Kizzy, Kathy is like, hey, Kizzy, can you go find out from the primary when he wants dinner? So she's like, oh my God, I get to talk to David, professional athlete, oh my goodness. So she goes upstairs and she's like, what time do you guys want to have dinner? Like 7, 7.30? Like, yeah, sure, that sounds great.

37:31Let's do that. But little does Kizzy realize that she's broken her cardinal rule, which is there's a new rule that you can't ask the guests when they want to. I was going to say, this is a new rule, right? Because I've never heard this before. The cardinal rule is that this is a new rule. Yeah, so Kizzy goes to the kitchen and she's like, okay, dinner at 7, 7.30. And he's like, oh my god, that's early. Jesus, fuck! And she's like, is that okay? And he goes, well, do I have a choice? I guess I don't have a choice now. I mean, what the fuck is she doing? You don't set a dinner time without talking to the chef.

38:06I don't need her distracted by a guest because because now I'm the one in the shit. Oh, so you're mad that she likes the guest and not you? Because this is the craziest thing I've ever heard with the staff not telling you what time dinner is. They always tell you what time dinner is. Have I just not noticed it? It literally happens later in the episode when Asha goes up to someone and is like, so what time would you like to have dinner? 7.45? Like she literally does it the next day. But I guess maybe because they had a late lunch, maybe he's like, come to me, and I'll say when I would be good for me to get dinner up and then propose that time to the guests.

38:41I guess that's what he's trying to say. Well, that would be reasonable. And I don't like standing up for Kizzy, but come on, sir. I think you're a little gel because this makes no sense. And any reasonable person would have just said, oh, hey, you know what? I'm going to need a little more time for dinner. Could you see if eight o 'clock is OK? Why so hard? Exactly. But he has a little fit instead. Yeah. or like asia could have fixed it by saying like um so were you thinking that you know 7 30 we could actually do cocktails and have dinner at eight because it'll be a little bit later and a little bit cooler like she could come up with some like oh don't you actually want it at eight o 'clock or at 8 30 you know yeah commercials here comes one right now

39:27So now they have to set the table. V is blowing her nose. Big, big plot point. And now we go to the mess where Kizzy and V are eating dinner. And Captain Sandy is like, oh, hey, hey. Anybody want to have a very personal talk about things? Because I'm Captain Sandy. And guess what? Hug Factory is open. Okay? Punch in. Anyone need one? And Sophie's like, yeah, there's something I need to inform you of. Oh my gosh, it's not your resignation, is it? Because gosh, I really was looking forward to promoting you to Captain. I love promoting people. I kind of want to make you the America's Cup ambassador for our boat.

40:06Like, I don't know. I'm so excited. Do you know Gigi Fernandez? Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. I'm all ears. Okay, so anyway, that was a pretty funny joke I said. It's not your resignation, is it? And then we all laughed. So, okay, you want to follow up with something funny as well? She goes, okay, well, my boyfriend passed on my birthday last year, and the one-year anniversary is in four days. Oh. Oh. I don't know if you're trying to make me feel bad that your boyfriend died or buy you a present because it's your birthday. Could you be a little more clear with your intentions? Okay. Does this have to do with the America's Cup?

40:39Because that's sort of all I can, all I'm hearing people say is America's Cup, America's Cup, America's Cup. But, okay, I'll focus. Okay. So a year ago, what happened? He had a shallow water block out. He was driving alone. He was diving alone. You just see it flash behind Captain Sandy's eyes. Diving alone? Shallow water? Oh, no. Hey, is it too late to fire your boyfriend? I know he doesn't work for me, but it's very dangerous. Captain Sandy, pay attention to me, what I'm saying. Oh, sorry. It's so America Cup right now. So she says... God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I want to hear your story, but I'm really worried about the Alingis.

41:18Okay? really worried about him they're losing so um basically uh he had a shallow water blackout which happens can happen if you're like um free free diving which is so scary and he was diving alone so he was really like no one was paying attention like he that's dangerous to do those things alone and so she's saying he is saying she knew this day would come and she's been trying to mentally prepare for it as much as she can, but she's been feeling ill and exhausted. And she's like, the body really remembers very well. And, you know, she says like, it's just like a lot to juggle. And she was like, yeah, well, life is loss.

41:59Okay. Hoping you would say you'll get through it, but life is loss works too. But it is very someone older talking to somebody younger who just hasn't experienced a lot yet. You know, it's like that. And it's her boyfriend. So like, it's a very intense thing. But I mean, when you're older, you've experienced stuff like this a lot more. And so, well, you've experienced death more. Hopefully you haven't experienced a lot of death when you're young. But as you're older, you're like, okay, but you're going to work, right? It's like, okay, that's so sad. Well, guess what? We're all going to die, okay?

42:32So do you want a fruit roll-up or something to finish your dinner? Okay, was this it? You're going to tell me that people die? Whoa, spoiler alert. I know, okay, I know. All right, anything else you want to talk about? She's like, I mean, yeah, life is lost. She goes, yeah, you have to know how to deal with loss, okay? And you have to allow yourself to grieve and still function at the same time, which means, okay, get a chamois, cry into the chamois, and then use those tears to clean streaks off the window, okay? Your little Z-er, okay? Is that what we're calling him now? Gen Z? Because this is what you're doing to me right now with your dead boyfriend story.

43:06Zzz. I fell asleep. Okay, get to it. You know who taught me that life is lost? Gigi Fernandez. We were playing tennis and she slammed a ball right into my forehead and she goes, deal with it. Life is loss as in you lost this game. It's a pretty brutal way to learn the lesson, but it stayed with me ever since. You got time to mourn. You got time to polish a horn. Okay, get to it. Yeah. Life is love also. You know what? Gigi also told me that life is love, which explained my score. She said, that's why you haven't scored a single point in this game. Life is love for you.

43:42Captain Sandy's like, yeah, it's not easy. And she goes, I know, but I'll push through. She's like, yeah, or you'll be pushing through the unemployment line. Okay, get to it, Mornie. Okay, we're back into Mornie. By the way, thanks for ruining my America's Cup high, by the way. It's having a great day. Just watching that America's Cup boat beat Alinghi, whatever it was called, the Alinghi Red Bull. What a stupid name. Of course they're going to lose. Alinghi. So then we go back to Josh in the kitchen cursing. He's like, I don't have time to cook 13 animals. And it's 6.05 p.m. And he's like, I don't know if I can get this done by dinner time.

44:19Josh, don't lose it. Don't fucking lose it. Just think of the time you grew broccoli out of human shit. I'm back in. I'm back in. Hashtag commune. So Kizzy is flirting with David while she sets the table. She's like, can I come be a ring girl at one of your fights someday? and he's like yeah you can just be in my corner why do you want to be the ring girl just be in the corner with me she's like oh because i've been a ring girl before i thought it was so much fun have you ever held a number over your head before it's like so exciting like what's a thrill now i just hold a chamois it's not quite as quite as fascinating but yeah i love holding numbers on squares it's a great great source of fulfillment for me i mean right when you think this show can't surprise you we find out kizzy was a ring a number holder a ring girl shocking stuff i don't know but i feel like we have seen this that was that girl who liked mud bikes and stuff remember was it hayley was it her was it was it the like romanian girl who was on the first season of blow deck down under magda i don't know i feel like someone was someone was a ring girl.

45:28Was it Ellie? Below deck. Below deck ring. Who was a ring girl? Who was a ring girl? Well, while you look that up, Josh is unhappy with the way his pasta is turning out. And someone's got to just remind him that it's not about the pasta. And then we see Sandy telling Nathan he's doing a good job. She's like, you know, I'm really proud of you because you're doing what a bosun should do, which is make out with Kizzy a lot. So you're doing a great job. Keep it up there. okay i'm not just talking about your wiener all right um so we get dinner and um oh wait no first max does something bad so max returns with the jet ski and um they're ready to lift him into the boat and nathan's telling him get off nice and gentle and he just falls off the back nathan's like he doesn't fucking listen does he he's like a child max drives me nuts he is literally like a hyperactive child and it's just too much.

46:24I'm sorry. Like, torture for me. So now dinner comes, mushroom and truffle tortellini with king crab and some caviar and Josh is like, go sell the caviar, sell the truffle, let's go do this, earn this. She's like, okay, fine. Sell it. I love that. So it's not a restaurant, sir. They have to eat it. You're just handing it out. So then Josh goes to check on them and they're like, we want to kidnap you and bring you back to the States. You're amazing. He's like, oh God, thank God. Let's just move on. Forget about that timing thing now. Just forget about it. I'm fine now. It all worked out well. Everything is okay.

47:06So Kizzy is now back to David. She's like, oh my God, David's so fat. There's something about a boxer that's quite sexy. I quite fancy the idea of being a wag that just goes to games. You know, have a nice Range Rover. I'll go to Pilates, you know, sew up your husband's face every now and then. Oh God, it just seems fucking great. Sure, that will work out real well. Yeah. You know, professional athletes, they are known for really being faithful. So then Nathan is cussing because he's still mad at Max because Max is being annoying and Max is like chugging out of a bottle. And now we're back in the galley and Josh is, Kizzy and Josh are there.

47:49and Josh is like, oh, Kizzy, you little skunk. She's like, yeah, you know, when you came in earlier and you were like, Josh, 7, 7.30, I just need more time to make the food, okay? She's like, okay, I'm going to ask you first. He's like, please, please. Also, I just want to throw my clown nose into the ring as a potential penis for you. I'm just going to try to shoot my shot right now. Don't know what you're talking about, but anyway, I'm going to go deal with the last penis I can find on this boat, which is David. Bye. Goodbye. So now it's night time, so shifts change over, and Kathy hugs Max for, you know, goodnight or whatever.

48:25And she's like, I've never met anyone like Max. He seems very, what's the word? Does he have a certain je ne sais quoi? She's like, what the fuck is je ne sais quoi? What? What is that? Listen, I'm British, but it doesn't mean I'm automatically sophisticated, okay? I'm ready to leave this boat. Um, so now it's midnight and Kizzy is checking on David and Mark. And so David's like, Hey, you want to sit down and talk to us? Mark here is telling me something about, uh, Pino Griglio. Okay. He's like, I think I'll leave now. Okay. I'm not. Mark is like, bye guys. Yeah. David's like, yeah, we were just talking about you.

49:06We both agree that you carry yourself in a very mature manner. I really love the way you kind of fucking thing. And held it over your head. I'm sorry to say it. I'm sorry to interrupt you. We really enjoyed the way you held that pillow right over your head. Sorry, just getting back into shape, into round number shape. Ringo shape. I'm back. But who says that to someone? We both agree that you carry yourself in a very mature manner. Ew. Gross. That sounds disgusting. Are you used to hitting on children? Who says that? I know. Of course, she's like, that's so nice. She goes, are you a thrill seeker?

49:45Mark's like, okay, guys, I'm gonna go hang out with my very good football friends. I'll be back. You guys are definitely my friends. I'll see you later. I like to be kept on my toes. And he's like, oh, yes, you are a thrill seeker. Okay. Or someone who can't reach top shelves. You know what I mean? Yeah. And she's like, yeah, I'm quite feisty. And he's like, oh, yeah? Did you ever break the rules? And she's like, oh, I'm quite bad, Fred. I'm the ring girl, but I walk in squares.

50:18he's like really she's like yeah i just think as long as i don't get caught it's fine he's like well you have to show me your ways oh i'll show you my ways tomorrow night so then when you leave no one's talking about it oh that's a great idea oh i'm full of them and you're gonna teach me tomorrow yeah i'm gonna teach you how you're gonna navigate it how are we gonna navigate that little girl so now they have to come up with a plan to bang tomorrow and she's like David doesn't really have banter neither do you I mean I have to say this was some of the saddest banter just fuck like some people don't need to talk I know and then we cut to David saying how's the saying go you fail to prepare because you prepare to fail if you prepare to fail you fail to prepare what huh and she's like it's really tough I just, there's literally not a single available mail on this vessel at the moment.

51:14It's very tragic. So wait a minute. You fail to prepare and then you prepare to fail, which means that I did prepare because I was preparing to fail. Well, that's not the saying. But still, I mean, you're saying I didn't prepare, but I did prepare. So which is it? Did I prepare? Did I not prepare? So I don't know what you're accusing me of. I'll still fuck you. I'll still fuck you. Don't worry about it. Small bump in the road. so um now it's day two of the charter everyone's waking up and well by the way whatever happened this espionage dinner wasn't it supposed to be an espionage dinner like at one point because he goes google espionage table i know there was nothing spy like that even happened here well this was kind of spy like their whole like oh how are we gonna do it oh we're gonna have to to be so sneaky oh yeah we're gonna be so sneaky so i guess that was it yeah it's a stretch but okay so now second day of charter uh max and kathy are kind of flirting and and by flirting i mean he's standing in front of her with his heart beating out of his chest with like hearts in his eyes and he's like oh it's like why are you smiling like that oh you have a magnet on your mouth and i have a magnet right here on my mouth as well every time you watch me your magnet bull to my magnet.

52:33But unfortunately, I turned my magnet the other way, so that means that I will be repelling you. So have a great day. Goodbye. Oh, magnet in my nose. Oh, God. Mommy. So then we go to Josh making breakfast. There's some sailing. They're going to go sailing after breakfast. Super exciting. Guys, V has a sinus infection. I know we've been worrying through three commercial breaks. Yes. It is a sinus infection. She has a sinus infection. She has to blow her nose with more urgency than ever before. And then David says, he texts Kizzy, good morning, sunshine. So she's happy because, you know, the last episode she had, she woke up to no text messages.

53:16So now she's very happy getting some attention. And Joe's like, I want to do some prep before the next thing can drop. I want to get better at this. So he's like doing, he's like practicing a little bit. And Sandy is like, hey, wait a second. The tech team looks like they're dropping anchor, but I didn't say drop the anchor. What's going on? So she comes out and Joe's like, oh, Captain Sunday, I just want to be prepared in case I do put myself into a position. I just want to be prepared for a situation. Oh, man, this is like the America's Cup of Decans right now. Wow, mad respect for you. Whoa, I'll tell you what's all good in the hood.

53:55It's this kind of preparation. Guess who's not preparing to fail? You, because you're preparing to sail. Like America's Cup. Oh, my God, it all comes together. Think about it, guys. It all comes together. So you're saying I was preparing the whole time then? All right. You know what? A little bump in the road there. So, yeah, he's also learning. I like that we're seeing more of the real crew this season because he's not asking Nathan. He's asking one of the real crew. He's like, hey, could you show me so I can actually learn how to do this? Thanks. She's like, wow, you asked one of the homely people.

54:26God, that really shows initiative. Thanks so much. You know, Barney Rebel normally doesn't get spoken to on this show, but you're changing things. You're going to be running this boat soon. Okay, hugs. Distant. Long distance hugs. Okay, my bro. So she's like, Joe definitely deserves to lead the title. Okay, he's strong. He's strong on deck. He knows what he's doing. I can trust him. So can Nathan. I love that they've got a great working relationship. A little too friendly at times. I think I saw one of them licking each other's nut. But gosh, I think they're becoming more pros over bros. Okay, there we go.

55:02Can I go back to my cabin now? I just made kind of a rhyme. Yeah. God, it feels good to be with people who appreciate comedy. I'm like, nose blower over there. Am I right? So then the guests are having their morning cocktails and stuff. And Aisha's like, okay, TJ, here's your coffee. It's a long black. He's like, someone got me that.

55:28So breakfast time and someone's super excited about turkey bacon. It's a big thing that happens. And then there's going to be a sailing thing today. And David's like, so we're going to get a little yachty. She's like, you're going to be a little yachty. And then Nathan is telling V that she's going to get to go sailing because she was in sailing club at FSU. So she's in. and then V offers Kathy the chance to go sailing. And so now it's time to sail. So they go sailing. Joe's asking Kizzy if she sees the state of his hair and she's like, yeah, you know, you can barely tell. He's like, is it messy?

56:05She's like, no, the balding I'm talking about. He's like, oh. And then Kizzy and Joe are also, they're in the crew mess also and she's like, oh, by the way, I haven't told you yet, but David sent me a good morning text. He's like, oh, you're lying. I don't know who David is and I really don't care. He's like, oh, no, I'm being so serious. I think this guy would have fallen in love if I'd given him a cuddle now. I mean, I just want a cheeky... I mean, please, I don't want to sleep in a bunk bed. She is just nattering away to any single person about this guy. And literally no one cares about what Kizzy is talking about.

56:41No one cares, Kizzy. No one cares. I feel so bad for her. Like, do you think she knows she's this cringe? I don't think she realizes. So now Benjamin starts barfing over the side of the boat and Kathy's grossed out. She's like, this was supposed to be fun and easy. I mean, can I take my hat off to everyone that does this America's Cup? I mean, no wonder they're in such good shape. I'm just sitting here and I'm exhausted. So now the sailing sequence is over because thank God, because it wasn't great. And then Max drives the tender off because he has to go pick up the guests. And then he hits a wake.

57:18and we hear a guest asking if he can drive the tender back and dun, dun, dun. We know what's going to happen. Yeah, so Max does a double mess up here because he doesn't tell Aisha that the guests are coming back. So she just happens to see it because she was looking outside the bridge. So then she rushes to get wine ready. So she doesn't tell the guests. And on top of that, he lets the guests touch the wheels. So he's really messing up big time there. And this is the guy who wanted to be lead deckhand, but obviously he can't. So he's sailing in, and they're all mad at him and everything. And Nathan's like, Max, there's a guest driving the tender.

58:03Has he not learned what happened last time? Oh, my goodness, why are you doing that, Max? And where's the warning, Max? Won't you get to what you're telling us, Max? Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max. I don't care. Just cuts to Max. He's like, I don't care. So they're all pissed off at him. And he, Nathan, is bitching to Kizzy about it. And he's like, in the last charter, he let someone drive the tender. He got bollocked for it. And now he's doing it again. And I'm sick of it. Honestly, I'm dumbfounded that he's just let the guests drive the tender again. He's just making stupid mistakes.

58:39And this is the reason I haven't made him lead deckhand. So he's really pissed. And Kizzy's like, just fire him. She's like, whatever. He's not sexually interested in me, so I have no need for him. Fire him. So they come back, and Joe's like, what are you thinking, man? And so Nathan's like, so did you let one of the guests drive the tender? And he's like, oh, I just wanted to see it, but it was me the whole time. He's like, oh, so you were in control. Yeah, I was in control the whole time. Yeah. Nathan's like, I'm honestly disappointed. He's lying to my face. This isn't even about the lead deckhand role.

59:20This is more personal. I don't even know if I can trust him anymore. Which is funny because it's probably the exact same sentence that Gail will be saying as soon as she sees the footage of him kissing Kizzy. So then Max is like, I do not need respect of Nathan. He lied to me, I think, because he told me one night out that I could be in leadership position. Listen, you got to act like lead deckhand even when you're not lead deckhand. That's how you become lead deckhand. Okay, fake it till you make it. Okay. Yeah, you could be in lead deckhand position except for the fact that you let that douchebag guest drive the tender.

59:57And then you really pretty much fell out from there. There's no way that he was going to let that happen. Let you be the lead deckhand after that happened. So you got to be who you, who you want to be. You got to pretend to be who you want to be. I mean, look at Norma, you know, for years, she pretended to be a single woman who couldn't get laid and who spent every single night of her life eating tubs of ice cream in front of a television set. And now look at her. She's a single woman. Nobody wants to date eating tubs of ice cream in front of her television set every single night. You know, that's goals.

1:00:28Do you understand? Okay, now get out there. That's how Norma got to become a lead tub hand because she's always got a tub in her hand. She's a lead red hand, okay? So now V is talking about how Joe's checking in on V. He's like, how are you? And she's like, well, I have a sinus headache and now I can't breathe. And I think when Bonds like six months happened, I had these same symptoms and I completely forgot. So like at this point, I'm like, where I can't think right now, but my body remembers, because body remembers pain. Okay, I'm sorry for what happened to you, but stop it. You just have a cold.

1:01:07You've been making out with Joe, and now you have a cold. Anybody with any sense would be like, wait a minute, I was fine until I made out with you. What is my body trying to fight off? Well, I mean, you could make an argument that she has higher levels of stress approaching this anniversary, which compromised her immune system, which meant that she was more susceptible to getting an infection or a cold or whatever so like it's not it's not out of the realm of possibilities but there's part of me that wants to also be like you have a cold you you have a cold right now this is a cold yeah i know yeah i know that you gotta go i get it i get it and part of it even commenting on it is just insensitive because like of course she's going through things it's just like i don't know there's part of me.

1:01:52And it's like, but she's sort of, well, for me, it's more like, um, I'm like, you realize you're not blowing your nose because you're mourning. You're blowing your nose. Cause you have a cold. I don't know why for some reason it was kind of annoying me too. And like, I'm, it's totally insensitive. Cause like what she's going through is like, I would not wish that on anyone. And it's so hard, but she's like, I think the reason why I'm feeling so sick is because, you know, my body remembers. I was like, you have a cold, you know, that's what it is. You have a cold. But, um, but yeah, Maybe she was maybe the stress.

1:02:22Okay. Like a sensitive way is she's going through a lot. Of course, her body's reacting more cynical way is stop following in your pain. Like stop trying to get attention from your pain. It's kind of getting gross to me. Sorry. I know that's bad to say. I'll get some shit for that, but worth it. So Kathy's like Kizzy and Kathy are in their cabins and they're talking about David. and she's like, well, I wake up this morning and he sent me a whole good morning message. Oh my God, that's because Kizzy is so exhausting. I don't know how Kathy even pretends to enjoy this. And Kathy goes, well, you need to give him the sugar for another 24 hours because our tip's depending on you.

1:03:05And Kathy basically is like, well, we all have our skills in life. I'm great at organizing and polishing cutlery and being just generally a very good stew. And Kizzy's good at being a flirt. So get us that tip money. Yeah, so now we go to the crew on the back of the boat. So Joe's like, Maximus? And he's like, oh, look, I salute you. What do you want, Lee Deccan? You want a juice? You can tickle my ass, Joe, Lee Deccan. And Nathan's not laughing. And he's like, so I know for a fact you lied to me about the guests not driving the tender. I know for a fact. No, I told you, bro, you can speak to anyone you want.

1:03:42I tell you they drive inside the port. but after when I was in open sea, I took back control. I'm like, that means that he drove the tender if he drove inside the port, sir. That actually almost seems worse. There's like more boats around that you can crash into. Yeah, and he's like, but remember, a captain came down and she said, no guests can ever drive the tender. And that was the last charter. And if we start lying and we start hiding things from each other, it's not good. So we can't slack on each other. We can't just sit around and do nothing when we're on charter unless it's me and I'm in the mess hall laughing and sitting on Joe's lap or doing the backstep with Joe on top of the bar.

1:04:17You know what I'm saying. Hey, has anyone seen the America's Cup today? Oh, my God, I didn't mean to interrupt this. It's so funny. I just overheard you say we can't slack, and that's exactly why I came back here, because the whole boat needs to be wiped down. There's fingerprints everywhere, and normally I'd be yelling at you. But the fact that you were already yelling, Nathan, God, that's just great leadership right there. I'm so happy. That just made my day. That put the wind in my sail. God, America's Cup. Oh, it's all happening. God, this boat's got more fingerprints on it than a can of Crisco when Norma's around.

1:04:49Just get to it. Okay? So Asha is asking Josh about dinner, and he's doing another family-style thing because it's paella. And she's like, I'm getting to the middle of the season, and I feel like it's an awful lot of family style. now today's paella so i'll let it go but he can't keep doing this i mean this is a super yacht experience if the tongs come out it's not sophisticated uh so now v is uh being she's just doing something slowly because she's sick i don't know if you heard and captain sandy's like hey v how do you feel she's like um it's just like all the stress catching up with my body i'm just like trying to breathe through like my symptoms you want to get some rest yeah i would love to go rest go rest and make sure you rest by a window so you can watch the america's cup oh my god this is the best thing since wind i mean you know what normally i don't like when they take wind off the air for something but like if they're gonna take it off the air for america's cup oh god this is a great preemption god i love it so captain sandy's like nathan fees down as long as she needs she's straddling i don't know if you know this but he's remember and he's like okay well thank you captain and so um joe's like oh victoria's got pressure from bond and her birthday and everything and it's just all in this pot and it's thick like this is thick shit it's in me head i see the gravity of the situation she's dealing with am i the right guy to make her feel better and be there for like fuck okay now you're wallowing in someone else's you're so gross you're gross just stop that He's so disgusting.

1:06:32You knew all this was going to happen. Yes, V is slightly getting on my nerves, but this is not a get out of jail free for you card, you pig. Well, I just don't understand what his point is. Like, she's going through shit and he's like, am I the right guy to do this? Well, there's only one way to find out. Like, why don't you just be there for her? But he's just clearly using this as a way to be like, okay, we've had sex. I'm going to now extricate myself from this relationship when she probably needs me the most. So Nathan is like Well that's what happens when you kiss Joel Bradley Your gut infections Hey wait a second I think I heard that on a podcast somewhere So they laugh And then V goes down to cry And Kathy comes to hug her And she's like I'm feeling so much And Kathy's like alright take three deep breaths with me Ready And just say you'll only have to see Max For another couple of weeks You'll only have to see Max for another couple of weeks Do you feel better?

1:07:29so they they hug and v sobs which is actually kind of it's actually like nice because all season long when she's been talking about her boyfriend she's been kind of like laughing it off being like oh you just need to laugh through it you need to laugh through it but you hear you see her like really kind of like mourning so now the guests decide that they want to have dinner in the formal dining room of the boat um and asia this is where asia is like do you want to have dinner at 7 45 i'm like well i don't see josh getting mad at asia about that but that's when they're gonna do it and um now uh nathan and joe are working and joe's like hey you know what i'm thinking about what man fuck me had just battered you know because we haven't had a one-on-one interaction you know what i mean like i don't even know the girl what are you talking what where did this come from you don't even know the girl all you do is sit there and talk with each other and say this is first time for me this is so exciting i've never done this before i haven't felt this way since i became a realtor and ate bread and then lost all the furniture in a deal that went sour?

1:08:27God, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm like, literally, that's all you do is talk about it. Now you're going to say you haven't even had a one-on-one with her? Oh, get out of here. Also, haven't you fucked twice? How is that not a one-on-one? Two times. Just such a weirdo. And someone pointed out, I didn't even notice this last week, but someone pointed out in the comments that when they were on the van and he was making out with V and Nathan was making out with Kizzy, that the boys were holding hands. Did you notice that? I did not notice that. I wish I had. I didn't notice it, but a commenter said that I started cracking up.

1:08:59He's like, well, it's very close quarters and I want at least a meter in the distance. I'm riding the wave now. I can feel like the crest, so I'm going to have to get in. Duck, duck, that shit. You know what I mean?

1:09:13I'm still laughing that this guy is now going to reframe this entire relationship that we've had to endure over several weeks of the show to say that they don't really know each other. And that like, and now this is why, like, maybe he's not the right girl guy for her because I don't even know her. And like, she's, she's dumping all this stuff on me. It's too much. I can't handle her crazy. It's just, it's so predictable. It's what we said exactly would happen. And now it's happening. Yeah. Especially when she told him within the first five minutes, my boyfriend died on my birthday last year. I'm super sad.

1:09:50My birthday's coming up. It's going to be rough. It's not like she waited and held all this and got like snagged the guy and then just dumped all this shit on him. Like he's he's really gross. So, yeah, he's already trying to find a way to back out of this one. And Nathan's like with Joe, the fact that he's committed to be so early. What part of what he's talking about says he's committed to her? He's sitting there telling you he's trying to find a way to dump her. He's committed to the V. I don't know if he's committed to V. so um nathan's like i can tell it's slightly freaking joe out and i'm afraid he might just try and push her away it's going to be interesting to see how it plays out actually i'm going to just push back on that i actually don't think it's going to be interesting to see it play out i think it's just going to be very rote and standard and tiresome i uh predict what we've already seen in the previews joe crying and so i predict you know it's just going to be joe making it all about himself and how he's the hurt one and i told her i told her i wasn't worth it i'm just a bad guy because i was in real estate once and ate a loaf of bread if i hadn't been eating that bread i would have realized i was selling a place to a crook and he would have stolen all those all those all those furniture oh my goodness i'm so upset that i've started to do my nathan impersonation oh it's much better back to reality oh bread so um now josh is talking about how they're athletes and they need to carbo load so now he's not playing a game tomorrow yeah he's not running a marathon weird when he's around a bunch of like alpha men he starts acting like oh you know what they need the alphas protein protein immediate protein get me 19 animals slaughter them all just slaughter them all the athletes now it's time for carbo load i know how to do this hey bro hey yeah bro so nathan um they're doing some boat stuff and bringing up the jet ski and nathan asks max max a question to do basically wants him to do something and max ignores him and nathan's like hi text that press you know i'm sick of him but max is like um you know he's spiraling because he's like he's upset that he's not leaving i can't so he's being a bad employee now yeah and he's uh max like wait wait wait about jet ski and nathan's like no i can i can see and he's like no wait because i can see it and he's like okay but something happens don't say anything now okay because i told you he's like i'm the boasting you need to listen when i tell you something you need to listen to me so now yeah so uh he's making all these faces and stuff and now it's time for dinner and josh comes out with his paella and he's got shrimp lobster mussels and chicken is that normal it's um uh i've never heard of that I've heard of sausage.

1:12:44Yeah, I've heard of chicken paella. I don't know if it's always in with the fish ones. I don't know paella very well. I know, obviously, there's seafood paella. I know there's sausage in there. I'm not even going to dare to pontificate. There's no chicken mixed with the fish. I've never heard of that, but I'm no chef. So the guests are clapping because this is like amazing paella. Okay, it's like amazing paella. That's what we call it. That's like what paella lovers call it, paella. so um hey i wonder if kizzy's in the room somewhere talking about astrophysics or current events let's check in i feel like i'm in crack today i'm in such a great mood because i'm getting attention that's all i ever need is attention from professional athletes oh what a great day it is yeah she's like oh i'm so glad you're happy oh i'm getting attention honestly that's all i need she's like you're so in then you're so in that you're never going to come out you're not going to do what I think you're going to do, are you?

1:13:40Fuck him, probably. Ooh.

1:13:45Then Aisha is telling guests she loves each charter because it makes her legs more toned while she gets paid because she's going up and down so many staircases. And V is blowing her nose some more, but she's still working. I guess she didn't rest that long. And there's just like general stuff happening on the boat. And then finally, everyone's sort of going to bed, which leaves no one awake except for Kizzy. And David. Yeah, so he's like, what are you doing? She's like, just coming to see what's doing. Just in time. Just in time, yeah. This location is like prime real estate as far as that goes.

1:14:22I mean, look at us, right out on a deck with windows that everyone can see through. Yes, it's a perfect place for being espionage-y. I think we're alone now, except, of course, the cameraman and the sound person who are standing right next to us. This will be our little secret. She's like, hee hee hee hee. I know that hooking up with a guest on Charter is a big no-no. It's not allowed, but I've been known to bend the rules. Hee hee hee hee. This is how to make the hard a special trick. Mm-hmm. What am I going to do? I predict that she's going to back out and she won't kiss him. I think she's all talk.

1:15:04She's not going to make out with David. That's a possibility. I predict that I will not care.

1:15:14That's also a possibility. That's a reality. Good for her either way. Get some. Don't get some. What do I care? It's not unprecedented on this boat. I mean, two chief stews have hooked up. Hannah hooked up with a guest, we think, right? Miss Farrier. And then Kate, I don't think Kate hooked up with a guest. I think she hooked up with that Jesus guy. Remember the guy who was Jesus? Right. the jesus guy yes yeah but yeah i don't think that was a guest who was that guy i forget it was like this guy yeah he was like on a boat down the street or something he just was in the neighborhood well yeah very exciting for so his name is fighting david what would you say who else hooked up with the guest i feel like someone else hooked up with the guest oh i feel like the guy kyle hooked up the guest but that was after frank yeah people who've made out with guests after the charter's over on land.

1:16:08But I will always remember Kyle running down that street to hug Frank in the street. It was like this great romance. Oh, my God. That was one of the silliest things they ever captured. All right, everybody. Well, that brings us to the end of Bly Dick. We will be back later today with a Summer House Trailer Trash 600th bonus episode. So join us on Patreon for that. and we will talk to you guys later. Bye. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious.

1:16:50It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less Hava Nagila Weber You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no last name-y She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sills be.

1:17:34She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes we canna, it's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. Make way for AJ Lopez. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill.

1:18:18Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo She's a total knockout, it's Katie Mannock In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock Gee, it's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters She eases our woes It's Melissa St.

1:19:01Rose There's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska She's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke We cannot tell a lie It's Sarah Talafson Shannon out of a can and Anthony Please don't stop It's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tam LaPlane You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar We love you guys We'll roaches.