#3042 RHOC S19E18 Part 2: Canal Retentive

0:03Watch what happens when there's so much that crap ends. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So they arrive at the Park Central Hotel, which that's the hotel that I stayed at. I felt retroactively so glamorous being in a housewives hotel. but of course I did not have as nice of rooms as they had, but I definitely was like acting like I'd achieved something in life.

0:55I was like, Oh my God, I was in the same hotel as the Real Housewives. Like I, I think I deserve something now. Um, and so they get there and it's all sorts of funny stuff with, you know, uh, the, uh, bike, the bikes running them over and everything. And Gina's like, Oh my God. I mean, like one of those like toddler backpacks and like the leashes for Shannon, just so she doesn't get like run over. Oh my God. We need to put a bell on Shannon. I said, thank you. Got to work on that timing a little bit, Alfredo. I need one of the 12. Yeah, Ben already said that. Okay, do you want some champies? It's called champs.

1:35Thank you. To Amsterdam. Drink to Joule. So they are getting ready. Shannon is taking a band-aid off her toe. and she's fixating. Wow. Do I want a pistol? Nope. Nope. And they are arriving in the lobby and then I believe, so Jen is wearing lace pants. I believe this is where Heather, not Heather, Emily debuts her god awful dress. That's like - It looks like a bomb went off in her crotch. Like, what are they trying? What is it supposed to represent? Because it looks like a supernova exploding out of her crotch. It was awful. I hated everything about it. It was... All of them looked crazy. Most of them looked crazy.

2:30I know that Amsterdam's like, wow, Amsterdam, you can smoke weed. And there's like the red light district. But it's like the morning. You know what I mean? You're going to brunch. You know what I mean? I don't, this is not a dress that looks good in any country. Like this is, it doesn't matter what country you're in. This is a terrible dress. It's like a dress for the most part, but it has these cutouts all around her legs that like radiate out from, from her crotch. It's not even that it radiates out from her crotch. It's more just like the cutouts look ridiculous and she's walking around. And I'm like, Emily, if you do get another season, please fire your stylist, please.

3:08They have been doing you so dirty this season. You think she has a stylist? fire your those are some straight up orange county vibes there i don't think there's a stylist for a lady who was like sobbing about wearing a very nice ensemble at heather's event like i can tell you this susan bender would never susan bender would better please susan bender can you please intervene anything susan bender is sitting at home completely uh what do you call it vindicated this she doesn't cry over yeah she's inventors at home like this is why she got those jeans this is why this is why so shannon's limping around and she's like oh does anyone want to see what my foot looks like it is it infected is it infected someone please heather's like yes it's infected you're dying so then they all go out and uh bikes are going by and she's like Gina's like oh my god Shannon like watch out for the boys that's funny so Gina's saying that she's like I'm a professional street crosser it's very different from a street walker I'm so funny so now they go to a boat and the guy's kind of hot I'm surprised that no one was like oh Shannon's here please please have sex with Shannon please and he's like welcome Welcome aboard.

4:35Beautiful sunny weather in Amsterdam, which is quite special. We're going to see nice areas. If you have questions, please ring a bell. And Tamara's like, don't tell Heather that. She'll ring a bitch. She'll ring it. Oh, you get caviar service on here if you ring the bell? No. That's so cute that you have a community bell. I brought my own. I've got one in my purse. Oh, my God. Look down the canal. Hi. Oh, my God. What a small world. I can't believe. I think that's, is that John Jansen's son out there? Hello? You know what? You know what? It was just a plastic bag. Someone littered. I apologize.

5:12I feel like I'm in a flipping fairy tale. What's the name of this canal? Oh, the single canal. That's right. It's for single people, Shannon. It's your canal. Could you make a left up a dying alone canal? Shannon Day. Sir, I have a request. Can we go to the Heragracht? Yes. Oh, what's that? the wealthiest canal in all of Amsterdam. That's so funny. My parents used to live there. Can we drive by?

5:41Heather, do you know what you would like to spread your dad's ashes? Do you have them on you? No, they're at the hotel. Unfortunately, we have to do this again. This time, you'll get to see how emotional I can be. So, this wasn't your spreading the ashes scene? This is just you bragging about where you used to live scene? Absolutely, yes. We're location scouting. this is act one this is called a rehearsal okay everyone it's called a tech tech rehearsal okay ladies does anyone ever go swimming in the canals does anyone ever go swimming in the canals just was wondering if anyone does that because maybe I should bring my swim cap out and we could do a wacky scene anyone I have an extremely flattering t-shirt with a bikini drawed over it that Tamara gave me.

6:33If anyone would like me to pull that out. Has my daughter ever gotten high at a rave and gone swimming in these canals? And if that does happen, would you tell me? I just wonder if they paddleboard here, that's all. Not Newport Beach. Not everywhere in the world is obsessed with paddleboarding as Newport Beach is. Ladies, we're almost at the house. And it's next to the Seven Bridges Canal. It's called that because there are bridges, which you can see over there. And Heather's like, do you see the black door? Do you see the black door? Oh, my God. It still says, Heather, go back to your house. You're not welcome here.

7:11Me and your mom are trying to retire in peace. That is so cute. That is so cute. I only see a sign that says Alfredo entrance in the rear. Oh, well, that's there as well. Yes. Alfredo was inherited. If you look under the bridge, you see there's a small grate. and for Alfredo to get into the house, he has to jump into the canal, open the grate and swim into the sewer system. So she is talking about her parents more and she said her dad was finally happy once he retired in Amsterdam, mostly because, you know, he felt freer. Gosh, I can't believe that he would move from Chappaqua, New York to Amsterdam and a global city that's like adorable and full of these beautiful canals and he would somehow be happier.

7:59Crazy. What a strange revelation. She's like, I got the sense that now that he lived in this major European city with beautiful people and excellent food and scenic views, that he was actually happy. Weird. So they see some shirtless boaters go by and Gina's like, oh, they're shirtless. We must be in the Red Line District. Are they men? Yes, they're men. Did they sound like ladies? just shannon's just like oh sure this are those men are they it's been a while okay are you men do any of you know john jansen's son i i'm a boat person i have a question hello when we were at the airport you guys were at one of those little shops there like a build an alfredo build a bear oh oh i thought you had that's okay that makes much more sense.

8:54You don't actually build a servant there. I was like, how do you build a servant? I thought you normally have to hire them. I took my kids to that the other day. You know why? Because Luke's therapist suggested making a bear. And then I did the voice. So when I'm not home, he can pretend that I'm the bear. So that way, when you're not home, Luke can be like, my crazy mom thinks that I'm going to talk to this bear and it's her. Like, why are you doing this to your son? Just leave your fucking son alone. What does your son have that he needs to talk to a bear to pretend it's you. Emily, just stop with this.

9:26I can't. I'm pretty sure Luke knows the difference between Build-A-Bear and you. He's really trying to sell whatever it is she's trying to sell. She's ridiculous. Tamara goes, oh, that's smart. Yeah, the best thing about having an actual diagnosis of Luke is that the diagnosis then comes the recommendation of treatment plan, and that treatment plan is to fool your child with a teddy bear. Make your child think that their mother is a teddy bear.

9:53So, uh, Tamara's like, by the way I googled things to do in Amsterdam And I have a little activity that we could probably do You guys are gonna go to a place And get this, like, penis And you're gonna bedazzle the penis, bitch Are you kidding? I can still find real penises Joe, I need to list them for you Earl Phil That boat of men that just passed by I think they were men Now listen, I can find real penises Now generally they stay behind zippers But still, take me, take me. And Emily's like, Gretchen, are you going to partake in some weedless smoke some? She's like, I don't think I would partake in that.

10:36Oh, well, that's too bad. So Emily is like, Shannon, let me ask you a question because you always talk about your boundaries. Do you think Tamara was being shady when she was asking about your dad? Oh, for fuck's sake. God, enough, Emily. Jesus Christ. Emily's you know have the bear ask it have the fucking bear ask it I know so Gina's like oh my god just get right in there I guess I'll have some champagne and the producers told me that this is the most boring trip we've had so far so well let's try and cook people apparently I've got to ask this so let's cut away from the beauty of Amsterdam to Temecula so we see a flashback Temecula's like I've never felt like I've had such a small penis until this but thanks Semecula was actually looking so good this season and then they had to like cut away from it, cut away from Amsterdam.

11:26But we get the flashback of Tamara being like, didn't you say that your dad had a drinking problem? And then we see like two hours earlier in Amsterdam, Emily was saying, it just seems to me like she was just trying to evolve herself in the conversation about someone. And I was like, so you think Shannon is blowing it out of proportion? Yes! So now we're - Well, I do think it was a dig. I'm extremely bored with this fight. as is the audience. But if you want to go back there, I feel like it was a dig. Well, I feel like her statement was trying to be compassionate. Okay, can I ask you a question?

11:58When she says she's sorry about bringing up your dad, are you able to forgive? She's like, no. I don't know. So Gretchen's like, anytime I get involved in any conversation that involves cameras, somehow I'm accused of being aggressive, being this, being that. So I'm definitely wanting to just sit this one out. I'm like, oh, great. Thank you for telling us that. but no one asked you your opinion on any of this, just so you know. So Tamara's like, well, I can apologize. And you can't, you can't move forward, Shannon. She goes, you know what? I've never called you the C word 18 times at a dinner table, okay?

12:31She goes, okay, call me it, call me it. Are you a cut fitness? Are you a cut fitness? Are you, tell me. Oh my God, stop. Don't go back. Don't go back. Don't go back, Tamara. Don't go back. I'm asking you, bitch. Don't put, okay, don't put your shit up with me, bitch. It's like, well, I'm not talking to you with that. God, shut up. I'm just saying, can we try to decipher sometimes when she is trying? And Heather's like, can you highlight when you want to be an asshole? That would be helpful. I'm just joking. Yeah, well, I'll highlight it with the yellow market. Everybody's happy. Happy birthday, stupid bitches.

13:08Thank you. Okay. Hey, not for Tamara. Not for Tamara's jokes. Okay, stick a pin in it. Gina, are we going to get a blunt, right? She goes, oh my God, I love bad Heather. So they get off the boat. Like there was this, basically they attempted to have an iconic fight on a boat, but instead nothing got off the ground. Emily is just trying to like reheat old Pop-Tarts. Like it's just, it's over. Just move on, do something else. And on top of that, like she started it at the end of the boat trip. Like we all know if you're going to be touring the canals and you're going to be having a fight, You do it when you're like stuck in the middle of the canal and then you're fighting and people pass by and they're staring at you.

13:51You don't do it once you dock and you're back at land. Where's your timing? Have you not watched Real Housewives of Miami? Yeah, people keep saying, you know, Emily is on the show because she moves things along. And like, yeah, she's always stirring the pot, but you need the housewife that does that. No, you need somebody that like keeps it interesting, not bringing up the same stale fights over and over again. That's the thing. 15 episodes. She's bad at it. Like she may be stirring the pot, but it's a pot full of shit. it she's it's a bad pot get a better pot yeah yeah it's like i i understand that um nothing's happening on this trip so far and emily is like hey let's let's have a scene let's do this but like you said there's like there's no art to it and there's nothing nothing is that she's bringing up something that's not like at the top of our minds and she's also pimping other people out to do it like she's trying to make everybody else do the work at all the time she's not coming up with something that she's got an issue with or she's got a problem with she's trying to make other people fight so she doesn't have to do anything and yeah she's lazy the way you do it the way you do it is you do it more artfully i think you say like heather that was so meaningful what you shared about your dad shannon you know how was your relationship with your dad these days because i heard that it's a bit fraught i know it was a tough childhood and she's like well i i never said that oh well i heard from tamra you know it's like you sort of do it that way instead of like hey remember Remember when you guys had a fight?

15:11Are you guys still angry at each other? Do you want to be angry again? It's like, could you like try, just try a little finesse. Yeah, make an effort here. You're lazy, is what I'm saying. So now they get off the boat and someone, one of the guys passes and he's like, welcome to Amsterdam, baby. And Heather's like, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Is Jewel from here? Love her. Love her. Oh, what does that mean? It means you're hired. He can be our butler now. Gina's like, well, wow. They really think that we are the ones for hire, actually. Well, we kind of look like it, and this is our madam over here.

15:53Look at Shannon, right? Oh, Shannon, do you have a vibrator? Oh, we're wacky. It's like, no, I don't want a vibrator. I don't use a vibrator. I sit on top of the washing machine. I do it old school. and Jen's like, we've passed like 10 stores with vibrators. Wow, huge place for vibrators here. Well, you know, this is a funny story. In Love Hotel, the way I got pulled over by Customs and they opened it up and you know what they found in her bag? A vibrator. Yeah, and she goes, oh, I said to Customs, it's un vibrador. It was a great story. She's told it about five times, but I was like, let me give it a try as well.

16:29So now they go in and they get drinks and they order some muffins and cupcakes, like some space cakes and stuff. And so, um, they, Shannon's like, this is 33 milligrams. And Gina's like, you can't eat that whole thing. You'll be licking the flung. Just take a bite. You can eat an eighth. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

16:55So now is the time where they start. Eating the weed is crazy, ladies. I feel so comfortable here because I love getting stoned. So come on, girls. Let's have some grass. Come on. We're fun. Some, some, some, some of the weed. Let's have a doobie, a joint, if you will. Hey, would anyone like to meet my new friend, Mary Jane? We are cool moms, ladies. so emily is uh looking under looking at a table with a cloth covering everything she's like what what's under this i'm scared and lenny's like ha the lady at the shop is like you make your own dick welcome and so we see all these ceramic wieners around and emily's like oh wait we make our own dicks oh well geez this looks like shane like his dick no actually like shane just put a vacuum in his hand it's basically shame it's kind of a life-size replica um i really enjoyed lenny i felt like we deserved more time with her she sort of looked like a marionette version of herself like if someone said let's make a marionette of lenny they would just make lenny you know and she had like little flowers in her hair and everything and she's like yeah this is penises you make penises so they and so she's like um so you make your own dick she goes yeah you make your phone and jen's like um do you know this person and like is this person based on someone that you know she goes yeah she's like is it your husband bitch and she goes no is it your boyfriend no did you have fun with the stick she goes of course and emily's like if you rub it you get good luck and she starts rubbing it and then then but she's rubbing in this weird way where she's taking her her palms and sort of like sliding them upwards repeatedly and Jen's like, is that how you rub it?

18:50Is that how you give a hand job? Okay. So what are we doing? Are we just decorating this? We're decorating. Oh, wow. Look at you. That was almost as funny as the time that Ryan came home and had splattered paint all over our sofa and said it was art. So, so. So now they're talking about vaginas and we see a flashback to saying her vagina doesn't work and how she had surgery. So she would take any position because it's literally just the tip right now. So Jen's like, everything's better with my vagina. Thank you so much for asking. Thank you so much, Emily. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

19:27Yeah, but that doesn't mess with sensitivity and stuff because you got everything cut off. She's like, well, maybe not. I don't know. And Jen's saying - I did everything. I did the exterior, the interior, the pelvic floor. There's CarPlay. I have CarPlay now. I can watch Netflix on this thing. So it's great. I think I'm really nervous that he would leave me because he couldn't insert his dick into my vagina, but everything's okay. Turns out everything's okay. And they're like, oh, wow. Yeah, because you were like having problems with it, right? She's like, no, yeah, and I couldn't. It's just a tip.

19:53How much longer do we have to talk about this? I don't think anyone in the audience really cares. Emily is bringing up other storylines nobody cares about even more. Can we give Emily another storyline to talk about? That would be great. So then back at the weed shop, Gina's like, oh my gosh, Shannon, how do you feel after you had some weed And then I got, well, the thing is, my friendship is exhausting, and I have no interest in getting closer to Tamara at all. But here's the question. So boundaries are an issue for you, because suddenly we started saying that this episode, and you always talk about that part.

20:29But what keeps baffling me, which I don't understand, is the Jen of it all, because Jen is still friends with Alexis. Who is Jen again? our cast mate that you suddenly became decided that you cared about a lot and threw her a party. Oh, with the clear glassware that I didn't order. I remember I got the glasses, but I'm still having a little bit of a... So Jen, is she... She's a redhead right in our group? No, I don't know who you're... She's the Asian lady. No, she's gone. That one's gone. I'm afraid I don't understand, Heather. So Heather's doing it the right way. She's like, oh, you want to talk about boundaries?

21:09Then what about Jen still being friends with Alexis? There's something new. So, okay, thank you. So then we go back to the penis decorating and Emily is doing the same thing. Like, this isn't planned at all. I love this. It's like, I can't tell you. You guys totally didn't sit and talk about how you're going to throw this shit at the wall in this episode. So cut to Emily going, you're friends with Alexis, right? And she's like, I don't really talk to Alexis all that much. But I do genuinely like Alexis. are you going to their wedding batch? Well, I mean, she sent me a save the date and I sent her back, I saved her, thank you so much.

21:45But last time I was with Shannon, she asked me not to go. And you see a flashback where Jen says that she got to save the date and Shannon goes, oh, are you going to go to that wedding of a slut and an asshole? Because that would not be a kind look for you, Jen. And she's like, well, probably not. Probably not, Shannon, because I know what it would do to us. I know. So Shannon did not ask you not to go, at least according to this. So then at the weed shop, Shannon's like, well, she said she got to save the date, but she is not going to a wedding. She will not do it. Well, I think Tamara told me they were still speaking, though.

22:21At this point, Heather has brought out her claw hands for no good reason. I think she's like, they're being underutilized this season. I need to get the claw hands out. Well, you don't want to dictate to people. No pun intended. you don't want to dictate to people who they can and can't be friends with but those effects those choices affect how close i'm going to get to this jen person whoever she may be and i don't want to spend time with you thinking oh when's the last time you saw alexis and i don't want to think about john and i don't want to think i'm sorry what's your name again i'm sorry i'm asking my memory so back to the penis shop emily's like it's just really not fair for you have to cut off a friendship.

22:59Do you know what I mean? That's crazy that you would have to cut off a friendship. By the way, I just had a flashback to me earlier this season saying I can't be friends with someone who's friends with Katie. God, remember that? That was so fun. Remember how I told Tamara if she went to lunch with Katie, we were done? Yeah, that was terrible. But can I ask you a question? Oh yeah, last episode. So she's like, so your bridal thing, you weren't really into that, huh? You didn't really appreciate the bridal thing. She's like, well, I mean, what am I supposed to feel i mean i appreciate it but that's just not my thing okay then let me ask you so now i've got that you hate shannon and you hate that she threw you a bridal shower okay so let me ask you if it wasn't something that you particularly wanted then why do you feel like shannon did it for you was it for you or was it just for herself so that i can say later at dinner that shannon only had this party for herself and not for you what what is what is emily on it's just so It's so ham-handed.

23:54It's so tired. It's just exhausting, Emily. Start your own fucking fight. You're ridiculous. You're literally making something out of nothing in such an obvious, boring way. My God. First of all, everyone who throws a party for anyone else on any of these shows is obviously doing it for themselves to boost their image, to be like, I did this for you. So there's that, first and foremost. Second of all, the producers probably said, Shannon, can you throw Jen a party? so we can announce. They're like, we're desperate. We have to make this season four more episodes even though there's absolutely nothing going on.

24:29Who's going to have the next party? Just do it for Jen. Yeah, and like Emily trying to turn this into a thing which like at worst, it was an overstep. Jen didn't necessarily want to, but Shannon decided to throw it anyway. Like it's a nice, it was a perfectly nice thing. Is it self-serving? Why don't you wait for it to be self-serving before you predict that it's self-serving? because right and that's kind of what it is like she's taking she doesn't she's not only bad at it and a boring person and a boring storyline creator she's mean you know she's taking somebody that somebody she's taking something that somebody was nice somebody did something nice for jen jen wasn't doing anything for herself she feels like a scarlet letter blah blah blah so shannon's like well she deserves this so i'm gonna do something nice for her and now emily's trying to take that and like make this girl not like her because she threw her a party well it's just mean-spirited.

25:21She's an asshole. Yeah. I mean, do I think that Shannon, there may have been an element where Shannon is trying to kind of court an ally in her ongoing war with Tamara? Of course. But like, truth be told, until she shows otherwise, like at the end of the day, she still she got nothing for nothing truly with that glassware. Am I right? But it's ultimately still a nice thing that she did. And just let it be a nice thing. Like, Emily, you can't like sit there at the party that you're now maligning. You can't sit there at the party and be like, isn't this nice that we all are getting along? And then you're going to go afterwards and be like, well, that party was like, it was an insincere party.

26:01Just let it be a party. And if you, if Shannon later on throws it in Jen's face, then call Shannon out for it then. But like, don't try to precipitate a rift or create a rift, you know, on spec, you know, it's stupid. So Tamara's like, yeah, she definitely did it for herself. Jen's like, no, she didn't do it for herself. Yeah, well, I know what Shannon's doing. She wants everybody to know what a great friend she used to turn. Yeah. So now we go to the penis, back to the penis shop, and Jen is saying, like, it's the closest she's ever been with Shannon, and Tamra's like, well, does that make you wonder?

26:39Don't you ever wonder? Don't you ever wonder why you're suddenly so close with her? Tamra's acting like she doesn't suddenly just befriend these people out of nowhere, and is like, I mean, How about Tamara Befriending Joe And Katie and Alexis A person who's going to Alexis' wedding And being in all her bridal shower pictures Shut up Tamara You recruit your allies too So she's like yeah she's so non-swearing Because she wants to get back at me That's the same reason she'd soon be with a grand chance So we go back to the other The weed shop And Heather's like so how's your space cake going And Shannon's like well I shouldn't put a timer on I mean 40 minutes to an hour He said, so I don't know.

27:18What am I going to be? Am I already stoned? Oh, my God. You were like the funniest woman I ever saw. Oh, my God. Look at her. She is high on hashish. Look at that. She's the ganja. She has lots of ganja in her system. Wow. So Heather passes a joint to Gratia and she's like, I can't do it. By the way, I got a question for you. sincerely. I don't know if there's any moving forward with Tamara and I. Do you see that? And Gina's like, yeah. And Heather's like, well, I think when you left the Western party, everyone was very upset about you going with Slade and what happened in the aftermath. But you understand why we went with Slade?

28:02No. I don't. I don't understand. Maybe that's just the chronic talking, but I don't understand why you would do that. We didn't come in like aggressive. she's like listen other people that were there don't agree with that now puff puff give daddy

28:22okay here's the thing let's have let's have a flashback but one that's fueled by reefer and so we see well actually we don't have a flashback we just go to lenny's sorry so emily is like by the way gretchen walking with slade like that's crazy like yeah why does he just like want to jump in Yeah, he loves to jump in. It's so weird. Yeah, I feel like he's always been like that. He just loves to get right on in there with Gretchers. Yeah, I'm back at the weed shop. In my opinion, you've like produced yourself to a place that you should not go, Regan. Unfortunately, with Tamara, I just learned that fighting fire with fire is the best way to handle that.

28:58That's what the Bible says. Fight fire with fire. Turn the other cheek into fire. My cheek's on fire. my doobie is on fire because i enjoy pot the house that no the roof the roof the roof is on fire i i took a boat in a canal today because i got high i went to get a space cake because i got high i fired alfredo and replaced him with a new alfredo because i got high because i got high cause I got high. Thank you. So Gina's like, do you really feel that way? Fire and fire. And Gretchen's like, you guys don't think it's fair. And Heather's like, you're just poking each other. Well, you guys can't make comments and not let us respond.

29:52Like you guys say stuff to me and I don't get to say something back. That's not fair. Gretchen, leave your fucking slime ball at home. Okay. Fight your own battles is what they're saying. Jeez. At this point, Gretchen, multiple people are telling you, yeah, you're just as bad as Tamara. Like, you're really ruining your big return. I mean, and I've said this a few weeks in a row, and I'll say it again, I think Gretchen came on really strongly and she's going to be ending the season in a state where the fans are going to be like, get her out of here. Like, you messed up. You're messed up your big chance back.

30:23Yeah, Gretchen's garbage. I hope they get rid of her. I hope they don't keep her. I hope she's like another in a long line of tradition of the one season bring backs. Because I really like that. Like Lydia, Alexis. Alexis, Gretchen. Who else was there? Wasn't there somebody else too? Please say none of the Peggies are coming back. I don't know if there's anyone. Gina sort of comes in and out. When are they going to bring back Lynn Curtin? I think Lynn Curtin's next. So Gretchen's like - Oh, Lori Waring. Lori Waring was a one season bring back. Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot that. So Gretchen's like, I've tried everything that you can try under the sun.

31:00And the only thing Tamara responds to is strength. And Heather's like, that is the worst advice ever, fighting fire with lighter fluid. That's what that is. Trust me. You don't fight fire with lighter fluid. You cover Alfredo in lighter fluid when he doesn't give you the proper bedumpcha and then light him on fire. You're damn right you give a bedumpcha after that.

31:26So they finish with their dicks and they're joking and we're seeing the dicks and it's like, oh my God, they've got bedazzled like Muppets, whatever. Okay. It's hilarious. And then we're like, don't leave the deck. We need to take these to dinner. So now the ladies are heading to the siren. Shannon is so stoned, she can barely get up the stairs. And she also has her toe ailment, so there's that too. And there's like a big lady statue in the middle of this restaurant. And Shannon's like, oh, this is like the tan Buddha with breasts. This looks just like the Buddha. Are we back at the golden door?

31:57Are we back? Right. Wow, I love the way a season can begin and end at the same place.

32:04So let's see Heather's like Is this like the voodoo doll And Gina's like oh my god it's so weird You guys got like decorated penises It's so nice And Shannon's like you guys can share We get to share a dick And then Gina makes a joke How like there's a lot of dick sharing Cause you know like Shannon shares a penis with Alexis And Gretchen got that penis from Joe Like it's so funny so they're talking about their days and how much they had fun and how shannon took some weed stuff and how she fell out of the van and we see a flashback of that which i did laugh at i don't care how many times she does it i'll laugh every time i don't care if she's just making it up but just so we're getting out of the van and you just see the camera shake and shannon's not there anymore and you just hear best i wanted a piggyback ride the best moment I think of the entire episode is that Jen orders an extra dirty martini, extra dirty one.

33:04And Shannon goes, she's extra dirty like her martini. And she starts laughing at her own joke. And as she's laughing, a look of dread takes over her face. She's like, and this dread comes over her and they like slow down the music. The music's all like, Shannon's happy music to like, Shannon's feeling dread music. And we hear this echo of like, tell her what happens if you do drugs? you die you die and it's like reverberating in her head it was such an amazing perfect jana moment so funny so then this real cute young guy comes he's like hello everybody welcome to our restaurant um they'll look at him like oh this is a child right like how old is this person is this is this a 14 year old and tamra's like wow hey why don't you order and heather's like okay, I'm going to order.

33:53We're going to have lobster, a steak, a pizza. She orders 10 things. They're like, damn, Heather. And what we would really like would be a big pot of macaroni and cheese. Thank you, Alfredo. Of course, we would never order such a thing. Too many carbs. That's what happens when you take them to a pot place and bring them to dinner. So Gretchen is fixing Shannon's hair because she's a mess. And Shannon's like, oh, I think, Oh, I think that's honey from the plane.

34:26Honey from the plane. How did that, how does that even happen? Gretchen's like, they have free cocktails on the plane. So Shannon, she drops her beret and then like Tamara's like under the table or something or Jen, I think it's Tamara's under the table. Is it Tamara or Jen who goes under there? Tamara. Oh, Tamara goes under to find it. And it looks like Tamara's eating her out and everything. Everyone's laughing. It's wacky. It's like, are you going to be fucking nice to me after this, bitch? Are you going down on Shannon? That's how bad she wants to be back with Shannon. She's going down on her.

35:05Oh, God, I got it. I got it. She reaches up and starts grabbing Shannon's boobs. And Shannon's like, she's trying to get a bite of my muffin. If all it takes is a little space cake to get Shannon and Tamara back together, please buy a dozen.

35:27So Shannon's like, I mean, squeezing the breast is much better than being yelled at for sure. Guys, guys, guys, we got to get to the red light district. We got a window of opportunity. It's a window we're going to be in. it's an opportunity because it's a window that's also a sand so then we sort of see this Sharif just passes by she's like is that a pun that's a pun Sharif on her other board just careens right into the canal then we see this like weird kind of montage-y thing of them like in the red light district dancing in the windows like they're the painted ladies of the night and then we go to a really strange Dutch news report this just in for the first time In 200 years, the red light district reports low numbers of activity.

36:16People are concerned that the red light district may be closed forever. We do not know what happened, but apparently it is. People are saying, quote, unquote, it has been ruined. So now they go out to the, oh, yeah, the dancing in the windows and stuff. And Shannon's like, ladies, take note. She's coming in and taking charge. And so they're talking. They all do their little dances and stuff. and Shanna's posing in the window. And Tamara's like, oh, she thinks she's a fucking superhero. Hey, lady, behind the window, you're dead and alcoholic.

36:52Oh, yeah, everything is great. And Jen's like, this is a good sign. We may make it out of Amsterdam alive, alive, alive, alive. And then next week, 12 hours later, now they're all gonna start yelling at each other. And I'm sure Emily's gonna start it off by all the intel that she gathered at the dick shop. And the true trip will begin. Yeah, Emily is really just killing it for me. She's just killing it. I think it's time. I think her time on the show is time. It has been time for five years. They need to get rid of her. But everybody, thanks for being here. Before we let you go, I wanted to let you know.

37:30We let you know the other day, but also just in case you're going to BravoCon, we are. but if you guys are going to be in Vegas for BravoCon next month, it's fun and Amy Phillips is going to be there as well and she does her podcast Drama Darlings which you should be listening to and she's going to be doing a show at the Hard Rock Cafe she has a comedy cabaret and she does great impressions she's been doing them for years she's an innovator, she's one of the OG's I saw her show last time BravoCon was around. It was so funny and so fucking good. And she's got all new material, including Brittany Cartwright's rendition of Pink Pony Club Hoedown.

38:14So we'll be there. I hope you will be too. It's at Hard Rock Cafe Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night on the Strip. And your ticket gets you 20 % off food for a day of show. So go to TicketWeb and search Cabaret Amy or go to her Instagram at Meet Amy Phillips. and there's a link in bio there to buy tickets. So that's Ticket Web. Search Caber Amy or, you know what? Go to her Instagram bio and go to link in bio. Yeah, everyone go check that out. Support Amy. Thanks, everyone, for being here for a fun episode of Orange County. And we'll be back next week with a whole new slate of recaps. Bye, everyone.

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