#3121 RHOSLC S614: Trick of the Trademark

0:03Watch what happens when there's so much that happens Watch what happens, oh I mean watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens

0:41day we're rushing up to the christmas holiday we're so excited my god it's gonna be so yeah it's next week i'm very excited and that's really all i have to say and also you know christmas gifts are starting to come and man it is just candy cookies cookies candy candies cookies so i'm just surrounded by lots of yeah well not that i haven't had any dildos yet but Lots of cooking and stuff. And, you know, I ain't even complaining. I'll tell you who's fighting it is my medication, my weight loss medication. Yeah. It's like, you don't want that. I'm like, eating it anyway. So my body is in rebellion at the moment.

1:21But God bless it. Thanks to everybody who sends me junk food. Yeah. I love you. Yeah. No fun. Yeah. Today is Real Housewives of SLC, as we mentioned. And Monday is our final Amazon Live for the year. So join us for that at 4 p.m. Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can get a link to that page over at our link in bio on Instagram. You can go check out our crappy hour. We had Alison Roman on this week, which was super fun to talk to her. And I think that's it for special stuff. Oh, we've got our Christmas movie coming up over Christmas. It'll be Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas, and then Monday and Tuesday the next week.

2:02It's four episodes. It's long. It's ridiculous. It's with the reality gaze. And the movie we recapped is called my secret sound on Netflix. We're not necessarily suggesting you watch that movie because it sucked. Okay. It's bad. It sucked hardcore, but man, we had fun talking about how much it sucked for four hours. So join us for that over the Christmas holiday. Ben's got a little cough today. I know. It's like, I'm not, I'm not like under the weather. Like I feel totally fine. I think it's like either allergies or I don't know what, was i don't know but like i i have like a little bit of a little cough is coming up so i apologize to anyone who i'm like coughing in your ears with this podcast i'm just what the body does okay i took some cough medicine to like to abate it a little bit but you know what i got a little post nasal drip this is a little bit of cough okay yeah so we open real housewives of salt lake city Season 6, episode 14.

2:59Everybody's waking up and I am Greek. And Whitney is probably still drunk and screaming, Happy Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day! It is Mother's Day in Greece. It's Greek Mother's Day. Greek Mother's Day. Very exciting. Yeah, everyone's opening up the blinds. I feel like the producers were like, we need to get footage of you opening the blinds because we need to make a montage of blinds opening. So that's what we see here. It's very exciting. Big move on production's part. Guys, we need more blind opening on this show, okay? Yeah. Let's do it. So Whitney comes out of the bathroom topless, and they need more towels, and so they have to call a butler, which I think they're joking.

3:44I don't know if they really have a butler or not. Yeah, not on Salt Lake City. I would assume not. But, yeah, those two can't do anything. Last week they were asking, you know, they were saying, should we go get water or go take a shower? And then they decided they didn't have time to get water. And everyone online is, was, well, not everyone, but there was a Reddit thread like, are they on drugs? Do you think water meant coke? No, I think it meant water. Because those two dummies are the ones who don't go to the store to get water. And you know what? I judge people like that. Because what's the first thing I do when we get to a hotel band?

4:18I go find the 7-Eleven or a store and I can meet some gallons of water. Got to do it. You never know. That is 100 % correct. You always find the water every single time. Yeah. So now we see Heather and Angie in the kitchen. And there's a chart there that says the friendship commandments. And Heather's like, are these our commandments? And we flash back to the Boston Tea Party where Bronwyn's like, hear ye, hear ye. We're going to have friendship commandments. yes and this is one of the episodes where heather and heather does this probably every episode but especially on vacations it makes me crazy where everything is amazing like everything that happens she has to yell and scream to everybody around how amazing it is she's like oh my god are these the commandments like these are the friendship commandments that we make the way we make a mark when anybody does something wrong is that what we do like everything they get dinner later and she's like oh my god is this food that you're sir are you kidding me like oh my god like she's the most performative happy person on vacation is that a sunset that's such a greek sunset oh my god it's like you're not having as much fun as me you know is what she's yelling at you the whole time on vacation and I'm like I just want to be away from you just be quiet I'm on vacation well she's definitely cheating towards the audience right like she's like wow look at this it's like winking like guys take a look at this Salt Lake City bringing the comedy again America it's kind of a vibe So this has columns and it has all their commandments on it.

6:09And so whenever one of them, you know, goes against their commandment, they get a mark. They get a red mark. And so Angie is, you know, not the brightest sometimes. So she's trying to figure it out. She's like, wait a minute. So this is a list of commandments. So wait, if we get a mark, does that mean that we've done something good or bad? Don't have game night with Angie. yeah there's strikes strikes against you and so brahman's like okay well i'm gonna regret this yeah no i put this up because of no originally it was supposed to be uh you know it's supposed to be like a funny thing like a reverse sticker chart you know the sort of comedy that comes from calling out your friends for acting like bitches and then we see a flashback to um a day earlier and brahman's put it up and meredith is watching and she's like well if we all are going to stick to our commandments that we made.

7:01So, you know, if I said something about someone's family, they would come back and they'd like put a block on that square. And Meredith's like, I'm not sure I understand that. And even if I did, I was supposed to put up gold stars because I used up all my gold stars, putting them on Brooksy's door because he's the best little toddler in America. Well, we're always acting like kindergarteners. And so this is what kindergartners do. So it's a sticker chart. And I think if you see your entire column in red, then that's bad. And maybe that'll be like a little motivation to change your behavior. Yeah.

7:41Their behavior is nationally televised and it is ridiculed by the internet en masse every single year. And no one has changed. No one changes. No one knows like a little red ink on the wall is going to do anything. But, you know, have fun trying. so uh bronwyn's like well you know people with the least marks all buy a prize you stick to your commandments and you know what i mean you know what i mean guys and heather's like wait a minute so that means we win i'm already in the lead and angie's like i'm not getting a prize and and bronwyn's like i'm just hoping the sheer humility and embarrassment will turn some of this behavior around yeah again no that's that's no you're so heather's like well i don't want any checks.

8:23I want to have my record clean and pure. Let's give Lisa more checks and then she can say I didn't do that. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. Then we hear echoes of Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. So they go outside and Angie's there's not much room between the door and the pool so Angie's like walking along the ledge and acting like she's gonna fall off the building and everyone's like oh oh god this is funny do you see angie she's walking along the ledge hilarious i feel like i am joseph smith back in the pioneer days coming across a lake and not wanting to fall in oh dear god in heaven please save us and this sisterhood um and then we find out it's a mother's day again because you know whitney comes out she's like Happy Mother's Day And so they're all wishing each other Happy Mother's Day And um Heather is saying Best Mother's Day ever I mean honestly I know I'm not supposed to say that But hug Mother's Day I mean on a girls trip With no responsibilities Every Mother's Day should be like this Um Brittany is like Well Mother's Day is usually bittersweet for me So it's nice being around other mothers But at the same time, it's a little difficult seeing how other mothers relate to their kids in an uncomplicated, normal way when I have a really complicated, nuanced relationship.

9:58Is it complicated or did you just abandon her for several years? I mean, I think like you've had a few chances to simplify that situation and you haven't. So Brittany's like, can I point something out? Just like we're light and bright and having fun and there's one person that's missing. I wonder who that is. yeah so you're blaming meredith for not being there for you guys to pound her and like dog pile her and then you then you're like wow it's so fun without meredith not for long because you all won't have a toy for very long leave her alone leave her alone for too long and they'll be coming for you next madam that's right uh so um let's see so heather is you know really upset about Meredith still.

10:46And so she tells a really damning story about Meredith. She's like, this morning I saw her. I was trying to make coffee, but the coffee machine was broken and she was very maddish. She was very maddish. I could tell. I could just tell she was going to get mad because she tried to get coffee and Angie said it's broken and then Angie was trying to fix it and Meredith was so mad. Had there been around someone who drinks coffee before? like this is a normal emotional response to the coffee machine being broken you wake up in the morning you're dealing with a whole bunch of bitches you're tired you're hung over you're jet lagged and all you are looking forward to is just a nice little cup of coffee and then the coffee machine's broken on what's supposed to be some sort of five-star luxury you know accommodation so yeah i would be mad too yeah don't take it don't take it personally you know No, she's mad at the coffee.

11:39Jeez. She's mad at the Keurig. Who hasn't been there? Yeah. Who hasn't been? Everyone, like, half the point of coffee is that, like, coffee makes you feel better. And then when it's not there for you, you're grumpy. And that's just how coffee is. That's coffee culture. Yeah. But it's also Heather's like, wow, I just yelled at her at dinner again last night after she tried to give me a peace offering. I wonder why she's still mad. This is so crazy. Like, I'm going to enrage somebody and then I'm going to act like a huge victim when they're mad the next day, which, you know, is typical. So she's like, you know, Meredith refuses to acknowledge my experience.

12:17And last night's dinner was no different. I mean, I just shouldn't keep having the same discussion, I guess. But I'm just holding out hope that Meredith will swallow her pride for the sake of our friendship. She just wants coffee. OK, so Brittany is like, Angie, OK, like, what are we doing? what's happening next? And Angie's like, well, first we need to find Meredith. So Mary goes in to find her. And Angie's like, Lisa, Bronwyn, Mary, and myself are going to ride donkeys. Oh my god, are you kidding? Are we really? Oh my gosh, like, we're really gonna like go ride donkeys? That's like crazy right now.

12:51Oh my god, I love that. I love a donkey. I thought I would put asses on asses. These are two asses. And then Meredith, Brittany, Heather, and Whitney. And Whitney's like, well that's an interesting combo she's like yes are going to Greek cooking class and Whitney's like why do you hate me all of a sudden even though I'm really frustrated with Meredith it might be nice to spend some good one on one time with her at cooking class and then Brittany is like are there just like not enough donkeys on the island for all of us like what about me so Whitney's like yeah cause every time Meredith opens her mouth Lisa's typing in And Wait what happens when Meredith talks I'm confused So now we go To Mary Seeing if Meredith is okay and Meredith Is in full on victim mode where her Head is completely tilted to the side And she's just looking down shaking her head Like So she's like are you okay Well I'm very tired And I'm being treated like I'm a piece of dirt on the floor.

14:04If I'm going to be treated like a piece of dirt, please don't be dirt on the ground. I'd like to be dirt on a seat. So Mary's like, well, so what do you want to do? Well, I really don't know. I mean, the good news is it's Mother's Day and I know the sound of my toddler calling me from across the ocean is the only thing that will get me through the day. So that's something I'm going to look forward to quite a bit in the future. I'm just not in the mood to deal with them. They are mean girls and they are mean. And that is it. So she's very tired of Whitney making these false accusations. And then we see a flashback to, Oh, yeah, alcoholic, pill popper.

14:44So good. So Meredith is like, It's exhausting. They are damaging, and she needs to worry about herself and her whole life and stop projecting it onto me. It's giving me like,

15:00And Meredith is like, well, I don't think she's taking accountability for how she hurt you. Well, she didn't hurt me, Mary, because I don't care what she thinks. What are you not understanding here? It's like, uh-oh, Meredith is in rare form today. They finally broke her. I mean, I think Meredith came on this trip, you know, doing her whole like, look what I got on my necklace. Like trying to be nice and trying to put everything past her and just start over. And people were not having it. So now they've broken her. She's a broken doll. They've broken her neck things. Her head is tilted down the whole time, just kind of bobbing.

15:35They've broken. They've literally broken. This is such a great Meredith Marks episode. I mean, this is Meredith Marks having a pity party is one of my favorite versions of her. I think we talk a lot about Meredith Marks getting angry and yelling at someone. But like her, this entire episode is she's so funny. Every single thing she does and the way she is so melodramatic, it really brought a smile to my face. Yeah. So then we go to Bronwyn and Ange and they're talking about donkeys. And of course, Angie's already done this. OK, Sean and Elektra and I wrote them last time we were here. It was so fun.

16:18You're going to love it. and so you know now we get the activity time and yeah lisa's late so they start leaving her but she's coming and she's like well are you gonna have me like walk alone on the streets of grace come on you guys she's already done in the last episode so we know she'd be fine i would be fine with elisa solo on a donkey episode really oh my god she was just like where are we going i'm like on a donkey like literally like where's this donkey going so then they um they get into the sprinter van by the way i want i want to point out the sprinter van i think this is such a cool sprinter van it's got like these tan seats with interesting stitching on and they face each other they got a little table i really enjoy it just an observation ronnie that's all the sprinter van yeah i just want to give like a little sprinter van review you know we're so used to the standard sprinter van setup i um i enjoyed this one so they get in i think it's difficult having that kind of sprinter van because if you have more people than are supposed to fit in the van you know how sometimes you can just fit more people like if you get an uber large or whatever and you're trying to get like 10 people in instead of eight you can always slide over on the seats but this one is like individual seats and they're like no you will not get more seats so i felt like the sprinter van was like, no, Ronnie and his drunk friends in Palm Springs, you'll have to get two of me.

17:39So I was like, fuck off, Sprinter Van. But I do appreciate the nice individual. I mean, it depends on who's there trying to slide in next to you, I guess. I gave it points for looking a little different from our standard Sprinter Van. This is the Santorini Sprinter Van, which is funny because they can't really sprint that fast. It is Greek. So they get in, and of course this cast does its best work in a Sprinter Van. So they get in, and Lisa's pointing at everyone and is like, so you're going cooking? Cooking, cooking, cooking, donkey, cooking, donkey, cooking. And Heather's like, Meredith, how do you feel about the groups?

18:14How do you feel about this arrangement? Do you want to get mad? Should we talk about it? Do you want to talk about your friend? I don't even know where we stand. And Merrick is like, well, about the groups of who I'm going with, I am not feeling very positive, which is why I'm going to look into the seatbelt to the side of me and just stare into it, stitching and hopefully find some solace there. Well, it is in hopes of positive outcomes. I mean, if you guys all, where's that tension in the group? If you gather and you make amends, then the rest of the trip won't be, the rest of the trip can be fun if you make amends.

18:47And so she's like, wow, you know, I'm doing her a favor because donkeys are very sensitive. They could kick her off. At the same time, I feel like we are robbed of seeing Meredith Marks on a donkey. I feel like it would be like a Countess Luan on the camel moment It's like because she does bray as well You know It's time for a commercial It's time for a crappin's commercial

19:19Well ever since the playing it's clear that how I speak is not okay No one wants to hear what I have to say I've been told not to speak I've been challenged on whether or not I've seen the rest of Crazy Rich Asians and I've explained I fell asleep. I wasn't even aware that there was Mahjong in it. But I've been told that the way I speak isn't good enough and apparently I'm too educated and I speak too eloquently and I guess I'm just like the wrong one here. I mean... I was laughing at that. Apparently I'm too educated and I speak too eloquently and even have a discussion with you. Yeah, like they never said that.

19:55But I love that that's how it is in her head. Like, you were just too intelligent, Meredith. Please, please stop being so eloquent. How are we supposed to fight with this? Well, it has nothing to do with your education. I, too, am educated. It had to do with the fact that you're being pretentious and not connecting with me as a friend. You were dictating to me. You were, like, teaching me. It was condescending. And I did imitate you because it was fucking frustrating. And it's not my job to get you to be a friend to me. It's a sisterhood. Oh, God. So she gets a phone call. It's like, mom, mom, mom.

20:33Her ring is just Brooks saying, mom, mama, mama. Oh, Brooks's first word. So she gets on the phone in her mommy voice. She's like, hi, honey. Hi, honey. And Brittany's like, she's taking a phone call. I can't believe this. Yes, honey, I did mush up some sweet potatoes and left them in the fridge for you, honey. I miss you. I mean, I wish I was there to be to myself. And then she's just like, you know, she's like, it's my son wishing me a happy Mother's Day. I'm sure you can all understand. Did you put the little ring on top of the big ring on top of the bigger ring? So the producer is asking Heather, well, she picked up a call in the middle of your argument.

21:25I mean, wow. What do you think of that, Heather? She's like, um, hold on. My daughter is called as well. Sweetie, sweetie, I know you're 22, but you must have, um, you just have to smooth the dollar out before you put it into the machine. Okay. You too, darling. Happy Mother's Day to you too. I'm sorry. Was that bothering you? Was that bothering you? Yeah. Except the thing is that your version of it, Ronnie, somehow was a fraction of the length as Heather's version. This thing went on for so long. Listen, as someone who kills jokes regularly every single day, takes them too far, too long and kills many a dead horses.

22:01Even I'm saying, whoa, Heather, this this was going on to this was like, come on, let's let's I was trying to do the audience a favor. OK, it went on. I was like, is this still going? Has her little is her little bit still going? OK. And it's really funny because she gets, of course, supremely offended that Meredith takes this call. But I read Heather's first book, and in that book, she's complimenting Meredith on one of her traits being that no matter what is happening, she doesn't care if she's in the middle of a meeting. She doesn't care if she's in the middle of dinner with friends, wherever she is, if the kids call, Meredith answers on the first ring.

22:36And that was something I just remember always thinking was so funny because when we first met her – well, when I first met her a couple years ago, that's what she did. it was like we were talking it was like three people talking and she's like uh-huh and here's well here's how i feel about it oh hold on broxy hi hi hi hi she just picks it up right there and talks so they all know that she does this and it's mother's day so now they're gonna make this the biggest deal and be like i can't believe you are taking a phone call after we just tried to start a fight with you over the same thing we've been fighting about for six weeks how dare you ma 'am so then Meredith does the next great thing which is that she then litigates this whole matter in front of Brooks she goes well honey I love you but I'm getting yelled at to hang up the phone on Mother's Day which is today and I am a mother and you are a child and this is me fulfilling my mother's age duty sure sure I mean instead of us talking I guess I just have to hang up on my toddler thanks a lot ladies so she hangs up and everyone's super awkward because now Meredith is going to be the biggest victim in the world about it.

23:45So she's like, well, I want to be with my family and I don't want to be here right now. And that's how I feel. She does this movement a lot where she puts her hand flat out and then she like puts her fingers back in. Like she's saying, come back, come back. And that's my favorite Meredith thing. That's who gets mad. She's like, well, I'm very upset right now And I'd like to talk to my family I've never noticed that But that's totally right She's like, oh, look at this The finger is coming back I'm trying to bring Brooksy back on the phone Unfortunately, I'm not able to And so when she says she just wants to talk to her children Then Heather and Brittany are rolling their eyes And Lisa's like, well, I'm happy in Greece Just saying, like, love you, Jack and Henry, bye So Meredith's like, it's very normal to take a phone call.

24:37And I just wanted a couple of minutes to hear a happy Mother's Day from my son. Because it was the only opportunity I'd have to speak to him in the next 24 hours. And then after that, who knows what might happen. But then fine, it's just Mother's Day and I'm just a mother. Both, you know, literally and figuratively. And I do have a lot of people saying mother to me. So I don't know I'm not getting more phone calls from more gay people. But that's okay too. I guess I wouldn't be allowed to speak to them either. Is Mother Day a separate holiday? Look, I'm upset because I felt like I got raked over the coals and I felt like all of my track record was thrown out the window and it totally crushed me.

25:18And then you never could even, like, deeply apologize or see that it hurt me. You talked your way out of it. You made it seem like it was quid pro quo, which doesn't even make sense here, when it absolutely wasn't. And that's okay. We all fuck up. I will maybe step outside my comfort zone and say I fucked up. I'm sorry and I love you. I love you. And I do not want to put our friendship at risk. But I did not get that from you. And it makes me question when the next morning I wake up and I'm still in trouble. Still getting cold shouldered. Like I'm in trouble for you not being okay and I'm not okay.

25:51You are okay. What are you talking about? You started this fight and you did it again last night. I don't know what in the world she's talking about that she's so victimized. That fight on the plane had nothing to do with you, and you didn't even step in to help the girl who was supposedly so abused, and you said you fell asleep three times. So I'm not really sure how you're victimized, but Heather's whole like, oh, I'm the one who's hurt, and you won't even apologize to me. What are you talking about? Now we've gotten to the point where Heather deserves an apology because Meredith called her a liar.

26:22That is, I can't. So Meredith is like, well, I am so sorry, and I don't know what to say.

26:34Yeah, I love Meredith Marks doing the very serious, monotone, insincere apology. Well, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say to that. I don't know. But then is it just me you have tension with? I mean, it's Heather and Brittany, too, girls. You want to fight with Meredith now? I've already taken my turn. And Lisa's like, okay, you know what? Let's just talk about the real show. Okay, Whitney, her feelings are hurt because, like, she's basically, I want to hear from Meredith. I want to. You're doing it again. You're piping in on Heather's fight right now, as you always do. But you're doing it again.

27:14This is what I say happens every time. She goes, great, rock. And you pick it up, and you speak for her. What? I didn't pick up a rock. No, I'm just saying, like, what you mean. because this is why we're green rocking because nobody says what they mean. That's all I am doing. It's Mother's Day and I had to hang up on Brooksy. That's it. But why do you feel like I'm always after you, Meredith? I don't know. I don't know, Whitney. Why would that be? She's just like, you are Whitney. That's why. She's not. You can't say that I am because I'm not. You're spreading rumors that I have mental health or substance abuse issues and I'm not interested in your opinions anymore.

27:55Well, it seems like you are, though. And Heather's like, Meredith, don't be an ice queen. Like, feel with your heart what your friend is saying to you. Maybe feel with your heart that she doesn't like being accused of having substance abuse issues. That's what she just said. Why is that not enough for you? She has to be crying. Like they say, say what you feel. She says what she feels. And then they're like, no, you have to be crying while you say it. What do you people want? What do you want? You're breaking Meredith. Yeah. She's like, well, she's projecting lies onto me and I'm not interested in lies.

28:31There, you said it, yeah. Whitney's like, I'm not projecting lies onto her. What am I, a film projector and the movie is lies? Ha. Brittany's like, but that's her experience. Oh, who cares? I'm so sick of this. Like, but that's my experience. Your experience is wrong and you're telling it wrong, okay? Like you don't get to lie and then just be like, oh, it's my experience. So that's the true opinion. No, your experience sucks. There, that's my argument. So Lisa's like, well, okay, because there's more silence. Because Whitney goes, can you just please help me understand why you feel that way? And Lisa says, because you called her a pill popper, okay?

29:12And you said she's a cheater. I mean, duh. But I want to hear from Meredith. I want to hear from Meredith. Lisa, this is so unfair for me. Well, I'm sure you do want to hear from me, Whitney, and I'm sorry that you feel that way. That's all I can give you. But you just said that you called her, you were accusing her of having substance abuse. She already said it. She said a full sentence, and she said why she's mad at you. Why do you need her to stay 10 more times? Yeah. So then they arrive. They drop off all the people who are going to the cooking class, which, of course, is Heather and Whitney and Meredith, and Brittany.

29:50And then Meredith just walks off because the rest of them go to the cooking class. Meredith is like, I'm going to walk in this direction until I get to wherever I need to get to and that's what I'll do. So the rest of them go meet Giovanni, their cooking instructor. And while they're all getting situated, we keep cutting back and forth to the happiness of like, oh, welcome, welcome to the cooking class. And then Meredith being like, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. She like sniffles her way down the streets of Santa Rita. trying to figure out cobblestones in her heels. She's like, all right, well, this is not as easy as I thought it would be.

30:24I'm going to tell you that right now. And Heather, you know, gets there with her over-exaggeration with Giovanni. She's like, what, Giovanni? Your name is Giovanni? This is crazy. We're going to cook everybody with Giovanni. He's Greek. Giovanni, he's like Zeus. I mean, he's like, he's not the Greek god I imagined, but he will definitely do. Okay. Our friend Angie is Greek and her family's from Crete. And he's like, oh, really? Well, we have a lot to talk about later. She's going to be joining us later and hopefully Meredith will have joined. Maybe she went off to ride the donkeys. Yeah. Donkey riding in a miniskirt would be itchy.

31:08Ah. Then we cut to Meredith. Clomp, clomp. Happy Mother's Day.

31:18and this little yellow car stops and i thought the little yellow car was going to pick her up and she was going to get in it and i was really hoping for that but she didn't it just kept passing her i was like get out of the road get out of the road motherfuckers like well at least somebody said mother to me today

31:37so over the donkeys they're they're arriving they're talking to like the donkey donkey owners and lisa's like oh my god hi nice to meet you how are you are the donkeys nice like yes but of course do they bite yes of course they bite yes of course and then finally angie's like it translates because he has no idea what she's saying he just doesn't translate lisa keeps going tell him but i don't think he understands angie asked him if it bites and angie goes does it bite and he's like no yes of course and she's no bite yes of course bite yes of course i was like angie it's not greek to just keep saying the same english word over and over to the greek person my five words of greek do not cover this situation i just love that when lisa asked does it bite he's so happy like yes of course like you you came here to get bitten right that's like part of the appeal the customer is always right you just say yes to anything so lisa's like is this a boy or a girl i don't even know i don't i won't i won't ride a boy and uh he's like they're both girls and she says yeah i've never been on a donkey before she looks like a snippy little bitch but she's beautiful and he goes oh thank you you're beautiful you're beautiful too she's like oh my god thank go.

32:54The donkey's like, uh, one moment I'm getting a phone call from my toddler. Hi. Oh, I guess I'm sorry. I guess I have to do a donkey ride now, but it's the only time I can speak to my child. That's okay.

33:08It's hard not to look cute when you're standing next to an ass. So they start riding and Lisa says, what do you call a donkey that has a degree? A smart ass. Okay, what do you call a donkey that has a degree and keeps lifting up its shirt at parties? Because they're male-centered. A good time, smartass. Yeah. Yeah. I love how Lisa brings out all her good material for the donkeys. It's like, yeah. What do you call it? This is the happiest we've seen Lisa all season is with the donkeys. What do you call it when you're in a car and you're about to, like, get into a different lane and then a donkey puts its hoof on the wheel and it's like, stop it.

33:45It's called driver assessed. Assessed. Get it, guys? Driver assessed. Assessed. That is a good one. When my dad lived in his village, this was the transportation that they had. They didn't even have cars. This is how they got around on donkeys. Uber Eats took a long time back then. And he would pack the mule with groceries and walk it 17 miles down a mountain when he was 10. So that's what I wanted to bring the ladies to. Listen, that's great. I do want to experience this. You know what I mean? like i'm glad i'm sad that your dad went through that but can we go to disneyland now seriously i would love it if like louis was just like lying to angie all these times like when angie was like a little girl and she wasn't doing her chores that he was like you do your chores you know when i was your age i walked 17 miles with a donkey with groceries on its back and it's like totally like a lie just to get her to do her like do the dishes yeah when angie refused to get milk on the way home from school he's like oh really hard for you try 17 miles on a donkey up a canyon.

34:52Oh, you can't pick up the milk. Oh, I'll tell you who picked up the milk. I did every single day with donkey on its back. 17 miles. 17 miles. And you know, it was like Reblox, but he's like, 17 miles. This is important to me because for me, it is much deeper because it is a glimpse of my dad's childhood. And I pictured this 10-year-old little boy and how grateful he was just to have a donkey while we drive Porsches and Range Rovers. We're so blessed. We're so blessed with our lives. I love, it's like a peep show. It's like a peep show when they have a moment of introspection and gratitude. Like the thing comes up and you see the gratitude and then the shield comes all the way back down again.

35:36They just go back to being materialistic and self-centered. Like, wow, that was, that's real. Wow, can you imagine? We take for granted that we drive these Porsches. Anyway, let's get back to, let's get back to our, it's like poverty board. It's like, wow, remember a time when people didn't have iPhones? Look at the poor people. Take a picture. Okay, let's go back to the resort. Yeah, let's go back. Then Mary is on her donkey, and she's like, is anyone else not enjoying this besides me? She's like, why are we on a donkey? Why? You like it, Mary? Why? Why, Mary? And she's like, well, I just feel bad for this little boy.

36:13I mean, like, I'm on his back. It's so nice to hear somebody say that, because these people do not need us on the back. And you remember when the cast of Shaws went on, like, horses? I think they went horseback riding. And I was like, you know what? This cast does not need you all on them. This cast of horses. This cast of this cast. It was a crossover event. You're abusing the horses at this point, okay? Yeah. You just ate ten courses on camera. They, like, literally just ate ten courses, and then they got on a horse. You know those horses? Because Mary tells us, I didn't see Greece coming with riding a donkey.

36:49Like, you've got all these beautiful views. You've got the water. And my outfit's cute. I like cute. But I'm on a donkey? Why did you do this to me? So now we go back to the cooking class. And this chef, Georges, comes out. I mean, I don't know if it's actually pronounced as Georges. But I feel like anyone who's a chef should just be pronounced Georges instead of George. And Heather is like, so tell us everything. What are we making today? Pray tell, what is Zeus from Mount Olympus? What has he brought down for us? Is it ambrosia? Is it wine? Is it grapes? Please take us into your land and perhaps bring us back to the council of the gods.

37:25Like, okay, ma 'am. Okay, we're just making moussaka. That's it. It's just moussaka. Yeah, he's like, well, it's Greek moussaka to be specific. He's like, oh, it's Greek moussaka. Oh, thanks for the specificity. And Heather's like, are you kidding? We got our own little moussakas that we get to make? We're making our own mousakas. Wow. Wow, girls. Like, they know. They're all there. Why are you announcing everything like you're a game show host? Just let them make a fucking mousaka, for Christ's sake, lady. Yeah. And so, then we hear the... So, here comes Meredith. In classic Meredith form, the classic walk-off, walk-back.

38:05Yeah. Head tilted, hair just kind of swinging in the wind. And she's kind of moving it out of her way. And her big sister's like, I guess I'm here. I had no choice but to go back because I'm stranded. Otherwise, it's not exactly what I want to do. But where else am I going? I can't walk back. I'm going to make the Moussaka, or as Brooksy likes to call it, Mom-saka. Actually, what he says is Mom's so cool. Which is sort of like Moussaka if you think about it. So Giovanni's like, Mom-saka. Mom-saka. Oh, hello, my name is Giovanni. Georgia, our chef is here. Beautiful lady. Come, please. Join the beautiful cooking lesson.

38:46She's like, wow, lovely. Thank you for welcoming me. Hush tones. Hush tones mode has been activated. Thank you very much for inviting me. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you for inviting me and welcoming me. Do this, does this moussaka need to be seasoned with the salt of my tears? because I'll be over here crying in the corner.

39:11Commercials. Here comes one right now.

39:19Okay, well, yamas, yamas. So they all do it, and they drink, and Meredith doesn't. She's like, well, I'm glad they can enjoy their wine while their friend is living in misery as their baby toddler doesn't get to speak to her. So now they cook, and you know how they're still freaking out that she's thinking Moussaka in a little terrain. So Giovanni, this guy is actually so nice. He sees that one of the people at the table is clearly upset, so he sort of goes over to her and he's like, what is happening? Are you okay? I'm okay. Thank you very much. You're very gracious. Can I help you? Honestly, how can I help you?

39:57You're very kind, but unfortunately some of the women haven't been so kind and I'm sad and I miss my son on Mother's Day and I won't get to talk to him. It's just, it's very, very sad. Thank you. Well, the wine makes us so happy, which is hilarious. You're telling a table of women that wine makes you happy. You're telling a table of mothers that wine makes you so happy. Trust me, they know. But he's also telling her right after they've been accusing her of being an alcoholic. So she's like, well, it would be nice to have something that can make me happy without my friends calling me an alcoholic right here on national television.

40:33So you enjoy your wine, Giovanni. Okay, but some of us are not so lucky on Mother's Day. Well, Giovanni, or should I say Zeus from up high on Mount Olympus, she's not happy. No, I'm not happy. Not happy, Giovanni. I'm not happy at all. Don't please don't ask any questions why. I'm just not happy. Very sad in the corner. It's gonna be okay, Meredith. No, it's not going to be okay, because Bronx is on a flight, and I will not speak to him on Mother's Day. It is a 37-hour flight someplace where he will never be able to speak to me again. And that was my only chance to talk to him, and I'm sad. And that's the one thing that's very important to me, and I'm hurt, and I'm very sad.

41:20He's circumnavigating the globe, and a plane is trying to set a world record for most hours that a toddler has been around the moon and more around the Earth. and I will not get to talk to him before his monumental flight. It's just very sad and I think I'm allowed to be sad for Brooksy. By the way, Brooksy is the one who booked a flight on Mother's Day. Brooksy is the one who is at fault here. Brooksy should be waiting there until he does not get on a plane until he has a good conversation with his mother. I rescheduled my flight so I could say, hey, mom, sup?

41:57That's all I need. That was beautiful. And then Brittany has the nerve to go, well, I didn't get to talk to my kids for three years. You abandoned yours. So please, please stop. You're lucky they even let you talk about Mother's Day on this show because you should be banned. Yeah, it doesn't really work that way. Meredith goes, well, of course, it's all about you. Okay, wonderful. Well, at least you have a daughter who can call you, but my son is now, he's trapped in the sky, and now I will not be able to talk to him. So thank you very much. Yeah. Yeah. So Brittany's mad and she's like, really?

42:28I mean, she can't even feign happiness for a sweet host. I mean, like he's working his little heart out. I mean, it just feels like Meredith is using this not being able to talk to Brooks thing. It's a deflection to not have to answer hard questions. She's answered the questions. Here's what's happening. You guys won't stop. And now she's going to make you pay for it for the rest of the episode. Is it fun for me personally? Yes. Is it fun for the group? No, but you guys, you guys sewed it. Reap it. Reap it. suckers you guys sewed it so Whitney's like I'm sorry you missed the opportunity so now over by the donkeys Lisa's like I wonder how cooking's going I I wonder if they're able to make as many funny jokes about asses the way I have because asses are like hey you know I said to the my accountant I said hey you you could you're like a donkey that's in a chair you're dealing with ass sits.

43:20Got it? Ah!

43:25And Bronwyn's like, I can't imagine it's going well. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Well, you know what? I feel like these little things become exacerbated. Like, you know what? There's situations that can be resolved in conversation. You know what? All you need to do is get, like, some poster boards and just, like, write stuff on them and put them in front of people's faces because people here can't read poster boards that's not a solve a fight you know but it can be overwhelming if you're in it yeah well um the thing is is in a friendship you have to be comfortable with being fallible sort of like how when heather asked me if um todd made out with someone and farted i was like i don't want to talk about this it's like that's what i'm talking about being comfortable being fallible and like just be fallible you know or or call everybody a liar and say that you never said that in the first place.

44:13That would be fun. That's a good one to do. Or just tell them that it's sealed. Just say the case is sealed. That's how to do it. Just being foul about them. And as people, we make mistakes. Sometimes we take the cherry off the person we love's split before they're ready to have the cherry. And if you want to have deep friendship with someone, you just have to let them see the parts that aren't good. And as hard as it is, she also has to own what she said and not just wait for you to come to her rescue and talk her way out of it for her because you have been helping her and maybe you should step back so she has to find a voice.

44:52Yeah, it's just like so hard for me to step back. It's like really hard. Just mainly because like my heels don't like support that kind of movement. And Angie's like, but she wants you to keep doing that for her and so she doesn't have to do it. And that's the thing. Meredith and Heather have to figure it out for themselves. If they're going to have a front relationship, you can't figure it out for them. Yeah well I hear what they're saying But like it's going in one ear and not the other ear Because I'm like a real loyal friend I'm never going to stop Defending you know That whore who poses Like that poses With her family of posers I'm never going to stop defending her She's like the biggest whore in New York I love her Yeah yeah Well She's like She's like a great I'm like a great friend to her and she's like a great friend to me.

45:42Mary's like, I don't know. Something's off with Meredith. I'm feeling something is off. So now the donkey ride girls go to the cooking class. And Heather's like, oh my God, it's the girls from the donkey ride. Can you believe it, everybody? They smell like donkey. They trekked from high and low across lands of plenty, through sun, through rain, and they have made it here to greet us with their friendship. It's like, oh my God. Relax. You know what? I love donkey riding so much. I love my donkey. I love to. I have five now. Well, I thought we had fun, but you guys came back with twice as much energy as us.

46:28Did they feed you guys Moussaka too? Well, they're outlapping us on the fun department. And Mary's like, so did you guys talk? I mean, you didn't get anywhere? You didn't talk? And Heather's like, well, Meredith expressed that she was upset about Mother's Day. You want to talk about that part, Meredith? So talkative today. Why don't you talk about it, Meredith? Well, just that I'm not gonna get to talk to my son and just made me sad. I'm gonna shrug to show how sad I am because it's been a bit of a rough day and it would have been nice for me to talk to Brooksy but I didn't get to. I love that, by the way, Chloe's like not a factor here.

47:05It's like at Onor's read, It's like well you know you could You can still speak to Chloe and read Not as good as Brooksie He's like really the most fun on the phone If I'm not talking to Brooksie why even bother with the other two I mean they're all slicing a lemon together Right Yeah Oh you're sad about your children Well join the club Meredith You're not in that club You're so happy to not be around the kids you say So she's like but you're not that true What you're really upset about is all of it She goes well of course I am and that's what I was telling you Heather. Yeah well when it comes to your emotions I think it really has nothing to do with Mother's Day and it has to do with like our feelings and our relationships and our friendships.

47:48Well am I allowed to just be like upset for like five minutes okay I tried to walk away and it was very difficult cobblestone street so I had to come back here and cry. But you don't get to use that as a detour so we're all begging you to be a part of the group again Meredith and I'm here I'm just showing up for my girl and having a great time because we knew we were going to be in Greece on Mother's Day we all chose to be here and Bronwyn's like it's not a surprise that it's Mother's Day okay we knew we'd be here okay they even arranged for us to be able to give someone a bob just so we could feel like mothers again I'm going to say this on Bravo again because not enough people are saying ground zero so let's just go back to ground zero come on guys does you know is it why do people keep saying that let's go back did you know about square one is it square one i think yes let's go back to square one would work better but ground zero is just not good the place of the destruction you know yeah that's what sorry go ahead ben that was i was supporting you that just said we don't need to oh thanks for the support you're a real donkey so you know what that's where merit whitney and meredith are not getting along because Whitney feels like one way and then Meredith feels another way.

49:04That's just sad. Lisa's hilarious because everything, she's now trying to chime in and sound more neutral, but she's just saying generic things. Yeah, guys, Meredith feels one thing and Whitney feels another thing. See, look, I'm very neutral. And so Whitney's like, what I said about you, Meredith, look at me. What I said about you pill popping and alcoholism is a very slippery slope and it's not appropriate. And I'm sorry I'm sorry that I called you those names Meredith I'm sorry look at me Look Meredith just goes Okay great Great She does At the end I never should have called Meredith those things But it doesn't take away my concern for my friend She's like I never should have called her an alcoholic and a pillow popper but she is so whatever what she should have said was I needed to say something extreme to get your attention which is I thought what she was going to say but instead she's like no I just shouldn't have said it so Angie's like opa there we go making headway and actually Giovanni goes opa llamas so they cheer and Angie's like now that's the man you should be looking to get a phone number from and Heather's like how do you know that I don't already.

50:26Did you see his Rolex? We've been hooking up. What's your version of hooking up? Mine is just hanging out. Why would you think that we had sex? Sorry, I was missing for a while, guys. I was fucking around with Giovanni. Did I say that? So now they're going to get ready for dinner. And they're back in the Sprinter van, and Lisa's like, I keep almost falling asleep. Is anyone else tired? Is anybody else tired? I'm like, if they were tired, you're probably waking them up again. Are you tired? Are you tired?

51:00Heather's like, nope, not one bit. Just ready to run a fucking marathon. I mean, Whitney's like, are you ever going to shower? And Whitney goes, yeah, but are you? Whitney's like, I realize I have to apologize to Meredith because I've got bigger fish to fry here, which is that Heather smells like fried fish at the moment. Can we just get Heather to take a shower? I'll put all my fights aside if we can just get Heather to take a shower. I shower every day I do it when you're not in the room A 10 to 2 in the shower That's what I do I should say a 10 to 10 to 2 in the shower What does that even mean?

51:35Merith does a 10-1-2 every time And she shouts it from the rafters 10-1-2 I mean Heather clearly learned some sort of slang Because I've never heard this before 10-1-2 I only know of 6-7 6-7 6-7 in Greece So what do you think this means? I mean we find out that number 1 is peepee number two is poo poo which we already knew but do you think 10 is like 10 minutes in the shower i think so but also why are you doing a two in the shower well i think it just means i'm going peep i'm going poop and i'm taking a 10 minute shower like oh maybe they say that because they're like okay guys we're leaving in in 20 minutes okay well i'm doing a 10-1-2 so i should be out in time i guess i kind of like that a 10-1-2 yeah i'm just going to do a i'm just going to pee poop shower and i'll be right back out take a quick shower now here's a hot take i won't i won't dwell on this because i know this is not your favorite subject matter but if you're doing the two you're kind of doing the one at the same time right why does the one even have to oh i see never mind i was thinking that 10 1 2 i'm so stupid i was thinking like a one minute pee and a two minute poop but it's just saying the one it's confusing because the 10 is referring to time but the one is referring the one and the two are referring to the deed it's all clear in my mind now everyone we can move forward national nightmare is over well i don't know if that's correct that the 10 means 10 minutes in the shower i'm just assuming it's that i don't know is the 10 just shower is that code for shower do we have it's like yeah i don't know what it is oh 10 is actually doing your nails yeah it could be i mean who knows so um now they're trying to talk and heather's like so what is a 10-1-2?

53:14Tell her, Meredith. And she's like, pee. It means pee. No, 10-1-2 is a pee and a poo. She goes, oh, well, I forgot about the two part. I only do the 10-1. I don't poop. Meredith is trying to sleep. She has her head against the window, and she won't open her eyes. She's like, maybe if I just pretend like I'm talking in my sleep, they'll just shut up and leave me alone. Two means poop. Good night. I like that she was like, well, I was sleeping. She like jerks her jaw. She does like a Christy, what's her name? Not Christy Alley. Alley Sheedy. In the bus. So they talk about this 10-1-2 thing a lot.

53:57And Bronwood's like, oh, Angie did a 10-2 before we went on the donkey. And I had to use the men's room because she was taking so long. I did not. I did a five second 10-1. And then your donkey did a big old 10-2. And then Mary's like, he did, because mine did one after Bronwyn's, and mine had a normal bowel movement, and he had diarrhea. And we see footage of the donkeys pooping on the sidewalk. Oh, my God, it's so watery. So then they get home, and they decide to have a pool day. So they're all getting into their swimsuits. Butler brings out flowers. They do have a butler. There you go. Oh, you're right.

54:34You're right. And they're having fun, and Angie's like, we have tequila. And Lisa's like, I'm not drinking that. I only drink my own. It's like, it's okay, Lisa. You can drink a competitor's tequila when you're on vacation. We will not hold it against you. So I read that this was Angie has a partnership with some other tequila. And so she's been trying to show her tequila all season, but they won't show it. They keep cutting it out. And Lisa's like, yeah, I'm not going to drink yours. I only drink my own. It's very Kathy Hilton for that to happen. So Meredith comes out And she's in like a cute Little number like a bathing suit But it's like a business It's typical Meredith where it's like a bathing suit but also looks like She could like have a meeting in it And they're like Meredith wait a second And then she takes You're supposed to be wearing a bathing suit And then she's like And then she drops the bottom part And there's bikini bottoms on And she explains Hello honey I do love the Meredith Marks vacation pivot because she does this I think season 2 there were many vacation episodes where she was screaming at people and then they just wind up in a hot tub just laughing and joking she really can do it she can just turn it all around she also has more business casual bathing suits than anyone I've ever seen where do you even get those she has business suit bathing suits it's so fucking funny that she pulls so many of them out So now they decide they're going to have fun by doing a doggy paddle race, which I don't think they know what doggy paddling means because they breaststroke.

56:08Thank you. I was so, well, it was really Whitney who was doing the breaststroke. I was like, this is not a doggy paddle at all. Like, you do not know what you're talking about. So they do it. And it's Whitney, Meredith, and Brittany, which is shocking because Meredith is with her two sworn enemies of the season. And now they're all happy that Meredith is happy. And then Meredith also cheats. And they're like, you cheated. She's like, I know, but you were going to win And I got mad And then she's like It's back Yeah, so she gets flowers from Broxy And Lisa's like Oh my god, Aunt Jay Do you usually come here?

56:47Do you get any other Cuisines other than Greek stuff? And she's like, well, Electra gets sushi And Heather's like, Electra's Rejecting everything Greece, including The food Does she identify as Greek? Well, right now she identifies mostly as just her horse stuff. I was like, I don't know if horse stuff is a nationality, but sure. That's like her thing. That's her life. She's a teenager, school friends, and then she rides five to six days a week. Or America. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, like school friends. I remember those days, sneaking miniskirts into your bag. Did you guys ever change at school?

57:24I did all the time. I did it all the time. I did twice and I got busted the second time And I wanted to die When did you have your first kiss? Do you guys remember when you had your first kiss? Heather, tell us, tell us, tell us And Heather's like, yes, of course I remember It was just before with Giovanni What? I mean, we never kissed Why are you guys saying that? Heather, Heather got one of the hottest guys in our school And they dry humped Wait, you dry humped? What? You are a good time girl Meanwhile, we just see a close-up of Mary trying to eat a taco and she's like, I don't think this shrimp is dewormed.

58:02I don't know if shrimp's... And just keeps eating it. I think she was talking about the poo-poo line. Yeah. I love that we pick up on these things. We're like, there she's doing the breaststroke in the middle of the doggy paddle race and she's talking about the poo-poo line. So Angie's like, speaking of first kisses, Bronwyn, have you ever kissed a girl? And she's like, yes. Yes. Oh, okay. Okay. How many? Wow. A handful. Did you fart? Did you fart? A handful. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Wow. Did you go to second PETA? Yeah, I've done more than just kiss girls on their PETA, guys. Okay, I've done more. Mm-hmm.

58:47Wow, second base? You've done second base? Mm-hmm. Well, I've done more than everybody here with a girl. How about that? are we clear can i get whitney out here please can i get whitney out here and heather's like i've never kissed a girl we uh heather's like i've never kissed a girl we have morals yeah uh can we just roll the clip of the black eye night when heather and uh jen shaw were like wasted pressing like lifting up their shirts and pressing their boobs together and then making out we just show that yeah seriously morals so uh when he comes out and she's like why do you need help Well, they're asking me if I've ever kissed a woman And I don't want to be the only person here With anything to share So can you sit down and answer some questions So they kiss And he's like, how did I know that was coming?

59:38I've been told ever since my first kiss That I'm a great kisser So Bronwyn be kind of dry there But if a pet got her excited So none of you guys have kissed a girl? Have you guys ever kissed a very old man who likes, where are their originals? How about that? Like, no, no, we haven't. Would you want to? And Brittany's like, no, no, I've kissed hundreds, though. Hundreds of women? No, of men. You're talking about kissing women. Why are you saying I've kissed hundreds? And as if that, okay, well, whatever. So Brittany says that she's kissed hundreds of men. She has to remind you that men find her very, very attractive.

1:00:16That's all she's got. Yes. So she's kissed 367 men. And he says, like, how do you keep count on your excel sheet she's like yes so she's been keeping a little spreadsheet men is it like kissing sessions or is it individual unique men 367 is a lot of people that's insane to keep a spreadsheet of the men you've kissed since college is that just that's is that also like like friendly kisses where you see someone you haven't seen in a while and you give them a kiss on the cheek or is it like full-on romantic kiss it's a lot that's a lot of people I don't know. But I'm sure it's followed up by a lot of phone calls from Brittany going, are you going to call me?

1:00:56I'm just waiting for you to call. I'm just waiting. So Mary is like, 300? That's how many people are in my church? And Heather's like, oh, my God, what was the first rule you guys broke in your house growing up? Meredith's like, all right, story time. Well, I'm not sure that my mother knows this to the day, so I hope my mother never hears this. but my parents went on a huge trip. So I had an enormous party with all of my friends and we got together and we fucked, made out, ate each other, fucked dudes, got pregnant. Hit the fence on fire. Broke a dish. We broke a dish. And Brittany's like, ooh, well, yeah, I'm sorry, mom.

1:01:47And Heather's like, Jeeves, bring us the glue. I can't believe this story. Okay, well, Heather, I'm also like, yes, it is ridiculous. It is hilarious. That's the climax of the story. But Heather's entire thing, her entire shtick is that, like, she lived a very G-rated existence. And now she can make fun of Meredith for doing it. No, no, Heather, no. You'd be in shock. And Bronwyn's like, wow, it only took her 40 years to admit she broke that dish. She'll be, like, 80 years old and saying, hey, grandkids, guess what? I did something on a plane once.

1:02:18that was funny. So, um, Mary's like, so anyone else have any stories? And she's like, the Greek nightlife is calling. Should we go change? Get ready. Go out. 10, one, two, everyone. 10, one, two. So they're all gonna like, get changed. And Heather's like, what are we wearing? Are we wearing, are we going to the boardroom? Bikinis? Huh? No boardroom. Meredith, do not dare come out in the blazer. Which she does. I love that Meredith was like, well, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, which is wear my blazer. so they get ready and we see angie and mary getting ready and mary's gonna stay in and she's just tired and jet lag so she's just gonna stay in and then uh bronwyn and lisa are by the commandment chart and lisa's like i love making these marks i don't even know why we're doing it is this for how many diet cokes we're ordering for tomorrow um no no by the way did you put this mark over here yeah that's for whitney like move it over put it on whitney's yeah

1:03:16So, Heather's like, wow, Whitney, you look like an Australian pummel thrower. You look like you could do the shot put. And Whitney's like, oh, yeah, you better watch your face. And then she throws her gold bag across the room to Heather and it misses. And she's like, that was my Prada bag. Whoops, I broke it. I don't, is a pummel, oh, a pummel, I'm not even going to ask. I was going to say, is pummel thrower a thing? I know there's the pummel horse. Anyway. I thought there was a shot put thrower. Maybe she meant a shot put. Yeah. Honestly, I can't even make fun of Heather for saying that because a number of times I used the wrong word at the wrong time.

1:03:54You know, I'm just as guilty. So, Heather, you're off the hook with your pummel reference. It says a pummel thrower isn't a standard term, but likely refers to technique in combat sports or historical martial arts using the pummel for strikes. So, yeah, I think she just got it confused. Yes. I was like, I will choose this moment not to be a typical person on the Internet and rake her over the coals for saying pummel instead of shot put. I will let her I'll let her go. You get away with this one, Heather. I got my eye on you. So they have this funny moment and then they get into the sprinter van.

1:04:29My favorite sprinter van I'd like to point out again. Oh, hold on a second. I have to interrupt the podcast because I've got some information. the slang terms 10-1 and 10-2 are primarily walkie-talkie codes used in film production but in other fields they're used for taking a bathroom break a 10-1 refers to a quick or short bathroom break urination and a 10-2 refers to a longer bathroom break defecation so I guess it doesn't have to do with a length of shower or a length of shower you just added the shower in there yeah I think it's just 10-1 10-1 good buddy We just tried to make them more efficient To be like they're gonna do it They're gonna take a shower I guess they probably hear a production be like Okay everyone we're gonna take a 10-1 They say 10-1 on the set

1:05:19Yeah so there you go everybody Rest well tonight Now you know the truth We like to get to the truth of certain things What does 10-1 mean What does 10-2 mean Is there such a thing as being a pommel thrower Don't say you don't come here to get educated so they're making fun of Whitney for how she's dressed because she looks ridiculous I think they're trying to call her a Russian hooker and Heather's like Svetlana how do you find America Lisa's like oh my god you do look like a Svetlana you do is this like your eastern European Olympian Svetlana and this is her handle handler and agent yeah if she gets messy if she's like shit-faced you can call her high body count and a drunk so yeah so it turns out that this stupid little jokiness then leads to our next plot point because britney goes guess what i trademarked high body count and angie's like you did it's like lisa's like that's not yours you can't trademark that i stole it and lisa's like oh my god i'm asking one of my attorneys one of my seven attorneys if we can trade if we can take our trademark that's crazy britney why would you do that well i'm the one who took it on the chin that's why but i think it's super embarrassing that you would go and you would steal that from me.

1:06:36That's a little hardcore. No. No. No, because it's embarrassing that you would take something and someone else said and that you would patent it. That is crazy. I am the person who has not had a witty line other than ting ting ting in her entire life and she trademarks my line to try and make money off of my line. She's the side card on my car trying to get on my gravy drink. I love Angie's mixed metaphors. She's the sidecar on my car. Like they're, they're, they're doing some sort of back to the future three thing where there's a gravy train and they're on like a little, she's like on a motorcycle and Brittany's on the sidecar.

1:07:14They're going to jump on the train, but it's a gravy train. Like, like that has nothing to do with the sidecar. I listen, I have to say, I think that like, this is definitely Angie's phrase, but like that's on Angie. If she did not trademark that right away, as it started to blow up, that's a bit on her. Like she should have been on top of that. Well, honestly, also in the trademark office, they're not supposed to just be handing out trademarks willy-nilly. Like, Angie didn't invent that either. I mean, if Angie went to the trademark office and tried to trademark high body count, she wouldn't be able to – she shouldn't be able to trademark that because that's been a term since the 80s.

1:07:48Like, why – I mean, I know that Angie made it popular on this show, but that term has been around for a long time. Most recently used, as we all know, in the manosphere, you know, like those like red pill guys are always like, oh, yeah, this is a high body count, whatever. I've heard it there, too. But I mean, I used to hear it like the 90s, at least like high school. I had never heard it before. So that's why it was so novel to me and so exciting. But either way, like, you know, I think it's shitty of Brittany to do it. It's not the worst offense in the world because it's definitely it's definitely Angie's thing.

1:08:22but this is not actually if you think about it this is not unlike luann taking giovanni and making it her thing but um oh it happened many many times when they on potomac when they said oh what about your husband we heard he's called happy eddie like flirting with people and then they turned happy eddie they trademarked that and turned it into their thing or um the dungeon candy sex dungeon she made a whole show based on candy sex dungeon the lie about yes sex dungeon so So you've got to pounce, pounce as soon as possible. In a housewives court of law, you'd lose that trademark. Yep. And also in like real court of law, actually.

1:09:02So Heather's like, you're not flattered at all by it, Angie. She's like, not at all. But were you going to trademark it? And Brittany's like, sorry, all's fair in love and trademark. Sorry, Angie, don't be a sore loser. I mean, I don't know what Angie should have gone and trademarked. I have an announcement like that should be the first thing to do. You can just trademark random words now. I love it. Because that's basically what it is. Like, I can't believe you could trademark that. Nuts. That's literally nuts. They could have a hostage exchange. Yeah. Like, I will give you, I have an announcement if you give me high body count here.

1:09:33I'm not that mad. I just think it's kind of embarrassing and weird that you would do that. But I'm just, I'm the one that had the hair ratted. She goes, oh, so you think people want their hair to look like this? Is that what you're saying? Like, they're going to buy your hair product? I mean, come on, Brittany. Brittany. oh, what's wrong with my hair? I love my hair. Your hair's gotten better. It's still way too long for your age. No offense. Yeah, when I look at you, it makes me want to cut my hair because when I see Brittany's hair, I'm like, oh my God, my hair's almost as long as Brittany's and I just think it looks cheap.

1:10:06I'm not even lying. Oh my gosh, Gina, you think my hair looks cheap? Yeah, I do. Yeah, it makes me want to cut my hair, take a length off a little bit so I just don't look as awful as you do. So rude. so now they arrive at a place called tango and we know because heather goes oh my god we're at tango i wonder if they accept cash here so lisa's like you know in the summer i feel like this is probably like insane and amazing have you been here in this summer summer the time when the greek gods and goddesses come down from olympus and celebrate with us simple humans and we say please please Please take us up to your mouth and make us immortal.

1:10:51Okay, Heather, be quiet. Okay, we get it. Do you want to hear my and Bronwyn's new business venture? I'm in a good mood tonight. It's me, Meredith Marks, being in a good mood. And they're like, sure. And Bronwyn's like, sure. Well, Meredith asked me if my straw worked. Could I drink out of my straw? And I said it would be great if I had a flask inside that you could drink out of. And then Meredith said, let's trademark it. So we got a patent. Ting, ting, ting. We have an announcement. We don't have an announcement because it's a secret flask that goes inside your drink. And they're like, oh, because actually it's that Bronwyn has like a little purse or a bag that looks like a drink, but it's not a drink.

1:11:36So it has a fake straw. But she's saying, no, we are going to patent that there's a real drink in there. Oh, I'm glad you said that because I thought they were coming up with a flask that's small enough that you put in a glass. like a club was in a club and i was like why don't you just pour it into the glass i thought it was weird i mean i knew it wasn't serious so i wasn't trying to take it so seriously but now i see i see what you mean although that is kind of a real idea too it's like you have a diet coke but what people don't realize is that you put a flask of whiskey in there although you could just pour whiskey yeah that's what anyway yeah why wouldn't they just pour it out of the but the idea is that it looks like a bag but it's not a bag because it has a flask in it and they don't have an announcement because they don't want to announce that they have alcohol in their bag yeah that is so creative and bromance like very high body count because bromance is going to jump in on any chance to rag on britney you know yes the only person that bromance not afraid of she's not going to come after the rest of them because she knows they'll get her ass but she will bully britney any chance she gets so she jumps right in there but britney it is embarrassing that you would do that that's like did sorella whitney's like didn't we have a high body count a party for her to support her with her hair because whitney and heather are on they're they're taking britney aside really in any argument because they're team britney in the larger war against meredith right now right they're supporting their you know they're supporting their partner in the proxy war their puppet and so angie is like look how like look how britney's all proud of herself like it was like she came up with it when she didn't just i am proud of myself i think it's fantastic and she's like but what did you do you have bad hair and i said it oh you did what's bad hair you should have trademarked bad hair she's like well i mean i think that you're strangely jealous of my hair i mean look at my hair and then angie starts laughing and maridus is like what And then Bronwyn just starts cracking up.

1:13:36And Brittany's like, well, maybe your hair doesn't curl easily. I mean, I don't know. No one has any problem with my hair other than you. I'm in my lane. I am in my share lane, babe. It's like, well, maybe there's something about me that's threatening. Like, I literally don't know why you're so obsessed with my hair. Like, my trademarks, my business moves, all that. Like, what's the deal? It's like, there is no jealousy. I think I've been really nice to you. What are you going to trademark split ends next? What is that? You're going to trademark scarecrow hair? They already have that. Well, you've been nicer except for in the van on our way over here.

1:14:11Yeah, I think it's really weird that you trade someone else's line, Brittany. That's really weird, yeah. Well, it's not someone else's trademark, but it is my line. Oh, so just because you thought of the same thing, I'm supposed to give up my trademark to you? Hell no. No, she said the line. She didn't think of the same thing as you. You didn't think of it. You didn't think of it. You don't think of your own insults against you. And Brom was like, he didn't think of the same thing. She said it first about me. But you didn't think of it. Here's the thing. You had some crazy ass hair. She made fun of it.

1:14:43She said it. And Heather's like, Angie did not invent high body count hair. She said it in a funny way. But she made it famous. Okay. She made it famous. So if somebody said you look like a slut, then what? Then what? Do you own the word slut? do you own the word slut now so they're not the wrong one cracking up i was smart enough to do it first so oh god well and angie goes oh so now i wasn't smart enough you sound like a fool britney and she's like uh when he says but wait high body count's supposed to be funny and i have a high body count outfit on but low body count hair and that's what's funny Whitney explaining the finer nuances Of this term And she's like I have a high body count outfit on But I have bullied person hair Trademark that Trademark I'm trademarking chocolate syrup on Justin And to sit and attack And over about how someone looks It's just like I know Merit doesn't like it when it happens to her I don't like it when it happens to me and Bronwyn's like, I didn't say anything about her hair or her bronzer.

1:15:57Don't lump everybody in on this. Meredith and I didn't say anything about her looks. Neither of us said anything. Don't make this a group conversation. Don't even try it. I don't like that. I don't like that. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I don't like that. I was generally bullying her. Okay? I was not bullying her. It was just general giggling. So she can dish out to everyone else, but she can't take it because she does, and there's a reason why everyone chimes in. But look around us Look right now We're in Palestine No we're not We are in Greece We are in Greece And we're supposed to be out having fun And instead we're hyper focused On trademarks and hair When we're in California We're in Greece We're in Greece How could you treat somebody like this When we're in Europa Look at this look at the view of the Bay of Tokyo and you're gonna fight about hair and Angie's like okay then let's be done with it shockingly they actually stopped fighting I was like oh we're heading towards a big to be continued instead they just cheers and happy Mother's Day and Brittany says I'm trademarking that you're alright

1:17:13Brittany coming in to save the day on the bullying charges you gotta love Brittany this is a great alcoholic pill popper stop bullying somebody about here great hilarious episode um and then salt lake city is off for a few weeks at first it was three weeks and then i guess you saw something that's gonna be it's gonna be off for two weeks but either way it's gonna be off next week for us for three weeks yes it'll be off for three weeks which is tragic um but uh just for anyone who is interested in just general programming notes that's the news for that. Thanks everyone for listening. What a fun show.

1:17:49What a fun wonderful way to spend a Wednesday. Yeah, love you guys. We'll talk to you next time. Bye! Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber Way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Alford. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber.

1:18:28You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no less name-y. She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera, whatever will be will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

1:19:08She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes we canna, it's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. Make way for AJ Lopez. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

1:19:50Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She's a total knockout, it's Katie Mannock. In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. Gee, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lo Alkalani The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose There's a Chance of Meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke We Cannot Tell a Lie, it's Sarah Talafson Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tam La Plaine You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar.

1:20:44We love you guys.