#3122 Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap

0:17zonaup hi vin Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, balloons. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. It's Vanderpump Rules Day. So we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 4 p.m. Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can find that link in our link in bio over on Instagram. So do it. Do it. This week we had Angela Roman. And Alison Roman, the famous chef who I call Angela for some reason. We're just so close. I just started calling her Angela. Angie, for sure. It was really fun talking to her. Join us. You can go listen to that at crappy hour this week.

1:03And our Christmas movie with the reality gaze this year will be a four-part recap of My Secret Santa on Netflix. So probably save yourself some sanity and don't watch it. But listen to it because it's really fun times. And today, Vanderpump Rules Season 12, Episode 3, Crash Out Queens. Whoa. Whoa. I've got to say, last week I was like, I think I like the reboot. And this week I'm like, I'm fully committed. I'm like in it. I not only like it, I was like, I'm actually already teetering towards love. I was so entertained by this stupid episode. it was just what I needed stupid back and forth about you said this and then this and then she texted this you got like a toxic couple you've got like you got a you know an angry a toxic queen I was gonna say an angry gay it just it's so silly it's so stupid and it's like I'm just surprised that it's only three episodes old I feel like I'm actually already like I feel like I'm already in it I'm in the trenches and I'm not saying this because I went to the Vanderpump Rules thing last week and And I met some of them.

2:10I'm not influenced by that at all. I'm saying it like I think it's just like the it's the it's it's exactly what I want and need right now. And I think it's doing a great job. Yeah, I'm really enjoying it as well. I'm actually trying to find this this article with what's his bun in it. Venus that he was on the podcast. And some of the quotes are just so funny. I wanted to read it to you, but I cannot find. Oh, Venus. Yes. So he was on So Bad It's Good with Orion Bailey. Vanderpump Rules server Venus is the title of the episode. Venus has a talking head look. Okay. He talks about his talking head.

2:48They talk about him, why he's working at Sir. He said he did watch Vanderpump Rules, but he's really a fan of Vanderpump. Lisa is my queen. And I finally just grew up here and was like, I'm sending in an application. And I was hired on the spot. and I've been the queen bee of sir ever since. Okay, it's the first red flag. Then he's talking about how he grew up in a town with small pastures and cows and he only had a post office and gas station so he had to get out of there. And he says, so I always knew I was not meant to have this small town farm life. I just have some kids and that's about it.

3:24Like, no way. I was like, I'm a star. I've always known I was a star. I started writing memoirs in the fourth grade. memoirs multiple memoirs multiple versions of his life

3:39so we've got delusional people who are already completely famous in their own mind i mean and it's gotta love it and this show has gone back to its most important feature which is a lazy susan of awfulness because i'm like wow marcus and marcus and um him i'm like oh they're toxic and awful. They, of course, are their couple that drags everyone into their drama. And then the moment, everyone gets dragged in and then you say something like, fuck her, and they get back together and it gets back to her, that you say fuck her or whatever it is. And then they kick you out and it's like, oh God, I hate those toxic couples.

4:15But then you got Venus, you're like, ugh, but Venus is awful. And then you're like, well, but Natasha, but then Natasha's awful. It's like you're going back and forth and that is the most Vanderpumpian quality that you could have. It's just like a lazy Susan of awfulness that revolves around such low stake things that I'm feeling very much at home. Yeah. And one of the biggest worries was, oh, my God, they don't work at the restaurant, blah, blah, blah. You know, people were saying that before. But it looks like they do actually work there. I mean, at least they have to work there to work. And they're showing a lot of the restaurant stuff, which I really like, you know, just working at the restaurant so much of my life.

4:52I really love seeing the pettiness in the restaurant and how everybody's turning against like one person at a time. it's just so fun yeah and it doesn't feel really as performative as i was afraid it would i felt like they are genuinely like annoyed at each other and frustrated and they're like exploding with you know fury so i'm i that's why i'm like this is great and like it's just so stupid i mean this whole episode it's just you know like a rock climbing and shane davis is like yeah i got shot three times it's like what it's like this is just funny it's just not that getting shots funny it's just the way it's like yeah man i got shot you're like this it's it's i love this like what um yeah so we open up with everyone waking up because it was just audrey's birthday party so everybody's hung over and audrey's like whoever planned this sir photo shoot for the day after my birthday is diabolical i'm gonna get revenge on them by not using any moisturizer or hair product and I'm hungover I'm sweaty but you know what I just go into sir and there's so many glamorous photos do they have flies on them yeah but I mean it's sir so I'm just like oh my god am I gonna be in the wallet sir am I gonna be on the wallet sir she's saying that the photos on the wallets are glamorous is also hilarious she's like seeing these like archival photos of like Jackson Katie and the whole cast from like 2012 she's like wow the golden age of Hollywood

6:22I get to join the pantheon of great waitstaff at Sir. Now we have the famous Sir photo shoot, but this time it's done in the restaurant with the managers there and nobody's naked or in like, like kind of sexual sexually creepy outfits, which is super weird. I'm like, what show is this? Like, we'll have changed. We, WeHo now has black plastic bags floating along its streets. Bump is closed. And now we have something called HR. We still don't know what it stands for, but it's very scary. Whoas and Rascals. Please report to the Whoas and Rascals department. So Guillermo's handing out shirts to people, and they're getting the photo shoot set up.

7:11And Kim is like, I need my skin so my waist looks snatched. because the surf photo shoot is legendary. Yeah, and we see a shot of Natalie holding grapes and then Audrey's holding a lobster. I'm like, is there a lobster at the menu at Sur? I don't think there is. Yeah, do they have lobster there? I don't know that I would trust them with lobster, even though that's like the cockroach of the sea. Isn't that what they call the lobster? Ooh, lobsters are not cockroaches of the sea. Yeah, because they like crawl along the bottom and just eat all the trash and stuff. Well, it doesn't crawl along. I mean, look, I would say a crab would be more like a cockroach of the sea.

7:45But it's not, I think we're making a shrimp. A shrimp would be, not the lobster. The lobsters have a whole, I mean, do they pee through their eyeballs? Yes. But are they the most beautiful little toddler crustaceans out there? Yes. I refuse. I reject this. Lobster, lobster, cockroach of the sea is a historical term reflecting how these abundant bottom feeding crustaceans were once considered poverty food for the poor and prisoners in colonial America. Yeah. Well, that's true. It only became a luxury delicacy through railroads, canning, and culinary elevation. So there you go. They have similarities with cockroaches, like hard exoskeletons and scavenging habits, leading to the derogatory nickname.

8:25But the term also applies to other abundant marine life, like shrink. Thank you. See? You called it. See? You called it. Because there's so many things that crawl along the floor. That's why there's also so many fish that hide in the sand and then eat them, which is hilarious. Do you know what? Yeah. Yeah. You know what else was called a cockroach of the sea? Whales. Excuse me. That's okay. I'm going to push back on that one. Yeah. I'm going to push back. That's like, that's like crazy. Who is okay. What AI system are you using? That's coming up with who's called a whale, the cockroach whales aren't even fish.

8:57It's like a tiny little side I'm using called Google. Okay. Okay. Who has, okay. All right. Let me, you know, you don't wrote that as a shark sharks hate whales. You just, you know that sharks hate whales because sharks are like, We're the best. But then whales come along and like, sorry, we're kind of like bigger. We're like bigger and a little bit scarier. And like some of us don't even eat other fish, but we're still someone bigger than you. And they're like, fuck this. We're going to call them the cockroaches of the sea because they're ruining our space. I'll tell you who wrote it. Ahab. Ahab wrote that shit.

9:25The cockroach of the sea. My last words. Dolphins did it to get at the whales. That's crazy. I'm horrified. Natalie's like, wow, you know what? Like, I just wanted to be in a place where, like, you work where everybody's like, oh, my God, so chic, so perfect. Literally, nobody says that about Sir. I don't know where those people think they're working. Does no one on this cast know how to look up a Yelp review? Because I can tell you not one of them says that. Yeah. Literally, the words that are associated with Sir are not chic and perfect. The words are like oversized enchiladas and dry. Please mop this restaurant.

10:08I've read that face. That was my review. I was like, it smells like bar rot. Please clean this restaurant, please. Hello, hello, everyone. I've arrived. I've arrived. I'm in casual magician form today. I'm wearing a blazer, but my shirt is open a few buttons. Whoa, sexy is back. I remember. Oh, it's so conservative now. I remember what it used to be when we first did it years ago. Nobody had any clothes on. And we do see pictures of clips from 11 years ago with the staff being naked and holding each other's boobs and stuff. And Peter's wiener flopping around over there. Yes. A great out wiener, which is weird because it actually looks like that now.

10:51Hey, how come we never see Peter? I know the rumor was something. He wasn't going to do this anymore because he wasn't getting paid. But was he here? He was on this episode. Yeah, actually. He did show up. he was like ho ho ho ho this is sure different than it used to be guys he didn't say anything child like peter he didn't say anything but he was like helping natasha or something at the bar but um uh but now we see that times have changed because guillermo's like do you want to remove your shirt at least he goes i mean only if you feel comfortable you definitely will not lose your job if you keep your shirt on you will just merely work in the back room and not be on television but only if it makes you comfortable to take off your shirt all i care about is the comfortability of children that work for us please please stay clothed girl you've never hired somebody overweight at that place in your entire life you only hire people especially men who will take off their shirt okay people everybody does not walk around with six packs like that unless they're on your staff i worked at an applebee's and trust nobody looked like this no one asked us to take our clothes off talk about some bad apples if you don't feel comfortable please put your shirt back on i don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable at all but if you want to show your beautiful nipples and six pack i won't stop you and chris says last night was a bad night to eat cake as he shows off his eight pack Shut up.

12:25Yeah. I hate when people do that. Stop lying. Stop trying to like relate to the people that you ate a cake. You did not eat a cake. You did not. I like when hot people are like, do you know how hard it is to be hot? Do you know how traumatizing this is? I don't eat anything. I'm starving. That's what I need to hear from hot people. Yeah. Shut up. You know, it is necessary to keep evolving. You know, if it's a photo shoot, if it's different staff, I think that's been a secret to our longevity. That's why we keep our menu exactly the same. But now, now we have a new feature. It's small little bites that happen before the bigger bites.

13:03We call them appetizers. Yes, evolution. We weren't okay to stop with the goat cheese bowl. So 10 years ago, we came up with the goat cheese empanada. Sometimes we think about what's something that we would want on a deserted island. And we call those desserts. Please enjoy.

13:28We weren't happy just to have a tuna. No. So we made it a tuna. Ta-ta.

13:38So Guillermo's like, when is Kim coming? I want Kim and I want Kim to sit in the chair. So Kim comes in. And when she walks in, Marika's like, hey, honey. How's it going, honey? She's like, hey, honey. And everyone's like, what? But they were just fighting for two episodes of the show. Why are they being nice to each other? And Natalie's standing right behind him going, I mean, they're so weird. Like, why are they being so cute right now? Like, I'm going to throw up. Like, hi, honey. Hi. I mean, it's like a weird kink. Like, they literally get off on, like, screaming at each other. And Venus is like, um, I'm sorry, but are these bitches, like, back the fuck together?

14:12Kim's like, um, full disclosure, Marcus and I got back together after the party last night. Yeah. If you know what I'm saying. And he's like, me and Kimberly, yeah, we never had the conversation of like, we're back together, but we just end up back together again. So isn't that the beauty of being in a toxic relationship? is it the beauty now they're doing more photo shoots and everything and they're doing a light change and stuff and now Angelica she's the new sir hostess she arrives and he's like oh darling look at you innocent and sweet as pure as the driven snow come in here to be corrupted and ruined by my television show get in here sweetheart I didn't know if you were coming of course I'm coming of course i am i'm so glad to be here lisa i was like oh no this girl's so positive do you think she's gonna cry a lot yes she'll be destroyed she'll be ground to a pulp oh you look what you look great i want you to come meet the staff and just sit in for a picture okay guillermo get the banana peel ready okay come on in so she goes in all the staff is sitting there in their ball gowns and looking right at her.

15:28And she comes in, she's like, and then falls right on her face, like trips over her camera or something.

15:35Oh, I had to hire Angelica right on the spot. She's gorgeous. She's lovable. She's flexible. She put her ankle behind her head right in the interview. Oh, God. She kind of did because we see a flashback to her interview and she's like, yeah, I did Taekwondo for about 10 years and I was a national champion. Do you want to see a move? I could probably do this. And she kicks like a light bulb out of the ceiling or something like that. Oh, yes. Taekwondo. A skill set that's absolutely unnecessary in waiting and serving. You're hired. She has charm just oozing out of her paws. Oh, God. That's not the only thing that's going to be oozing out of her after a couple of months at this place.

16:19Am I right? Get it? Now remind me, when you won your national championship in Taekwondo, what was the part where you gathered menus and said, right this way? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

16:44So she stands up and Lisa's like, wow, that was a good entrance. hmm I'm trying to lift my leg as high as I possibly can okay maybe my not my ideal first impression but I feel like it really grounded me in a way oh no store you're okay Angelica did you hurt yourself do you need to see it's all we are so involved that we care please only take off your panties for this if you feel comfortable she goes she goes well i don't think it really i don't think it really requires workers comp so i think i'm okay she's like oh good i don't understand what that is workers don't get comps here you have to pay for fair darling yes as i told you in your interview workers are complimentary you're here for the instagram likes so she says oh maybe i worked like maybe this worked in my favor because like now people are gonna be like really nice to me right because like who's gonna be mean to the girl that just like ate shit i'm like literally all of them they're like oh she's weak we will destroy her somewhere like an alarm just went off in stassi's house she's like oh my god stupid bitch falling in sir need to drive down there do not drive down there yeah when you hear a bell it means a new server fell over and from the team and sir every time you hear a bell ring a new waitress just lost monster vag so uh angelica's like oh my god what a great way to meet people am i right guys and they're like wow you look so beautiful and josh goes yeah what an entrance i almost wanted to catch her at which point ronnie left through the tv was like you get out of here you little bitch he's mine i just fell down off my couch like help me josh help me all right okay sit down there no no one will get jealous of you we don't like jealous people so angelica new girl who no one's ever met before and has no history please take the center spot in this photograph i know move over move over kim she literally made kim move over so that the new girl could take the center spot and i was like uh-oh uh-oh look sexy and welcoming try it kim now kim i know you don't understand the concept of welcoming but what you do is you sort of smile but yes a smile a smile okay let me start from the beginning a smile is when you take the edges of your lips and move them upwards you can do it kim try it kim you're almost there no she can't smile she doesn't know how to do it put her in the back okay guys we've done the photo shoot and now we're going back to the uniform okay i'm germo oh smolder smolder yes all right please on your way out as everybody passes me please say i pledge allegiance to nicolaine okay very good you can go you can go you can go so chris and audrey start to flirt chris is like yeah you were working she's like always working i mean you were pulling out all the moves and then jason's like yeah you were all right if i if i had spoken first i would have said you pulled out the moves but he said it first So I'm just gonna say you were Yeah Not all the moves though like y 'all pulled on me last night Remember when you guys gave me striptease last night Guys remember huh And then we just flash back to her Getting the striptease and be like Oh my god

20:14I loved it So she's like yeah Chris is like really different from the other guys I've dated I mean he has like a decade on me Okay like that's 10 years because he has 10 years above when I was even born, like a decade. So he probably had one of those Blackberries that like you slide open and he thought it was like the coolest thing ever. And he just like vigorously typed on it, like with his thumbs. And he was like, yeah, like checking out girls through his phone. Okay, I hate to sound like the grandfather that I am, but those were called T-Mobile sidekicks. How dare you? Thank you. And I had one and it was amazing.

20:49He probably had like a crank on his cell phone just to power it, right? So Venus is like Guys I'm sorry I'm sorry Sorry in the middle of this conversation I need to check my emails That's right I get them on my phone You guys it's time to renew my AOL account Excuse me I can do that right on my phone Sorry what were you saying So Venus is like hey Marcus Can I talk to you for a second He's like yeah what's on your mind Well just about last night it's just like a recap of what a typical night is And then today like making out in the fucking photo like so what changed between last night and today he's like um we made up last night there wasn't a lot of talking i mean lips were moving if you know what i'm saying what i'm trying to say is i put my penis in her vagina are you following any of this come on venus keep up and venus is falling into that trap as the gay friend who gets mad when people get back together and i know that sounds random but that is the thing because gay guys are always trapped right like especially when you're friends with both and i think this is a general trap for people but i think gay people fall more in this trap because we don't have as many people to date so when especially when you're younger and immature and it's like okay well so we're friends i'm going to listen to all your bullshit but now you're back together with him and now i don't get to spend any time with you it's i don't know i'm sure it's like an everybody thing but i just recognize that as like being the only gay guy at work we're like what the fuck man like everyone else has people to talk like i'm the one who always has to listen to this shit but i think it's extremely immature and it's so weird to be mad at people for getting back together what do you think um i think it's great to get mad at people for getting back together they're toxic well no but like from out from where we sit i think what i think like when you're young you don't realize that you just have to let people just fall into their own bullshit you know and you feel like you can actually change things and what what happens is is as a gay you're often put in the sidekick position where when travesties happen like a breakup you know especially that like it's usually usually it's like it's the girl because of you know just you guys are scared of gay people a lot but like these days things are modern so that's nice to see and we usually like agree with girls you know yeah but like usually it's like someone comes to us as the gay person it's like oh my god like you would not even believe he's just so awful he's so mean he doesn't even consider me and they they tell you all these things and then you you want to help your friend and you have a vision for your friend and that vision is look i love you both you're toxic together you need to start doing your own separate things and you can just move on and then we can all be happy and you start you have this plan it's going to be amazing and then you invest all this time and hours on the phone and you're hugging and they're crying you're doing it and like that's time you could be on grinder that's time you could be doing anything else and instead you're doing this and then after you put in all that effort and you've you have a plan you've got the bullet points you know what step one step two step two phase one phase three they just get back together not but what about all that work what about all that time and you get so annoyed and you're like what the fuck what the fuck we had a plan we had a dream we saw what the future was gonna be like yeah he's like i taught you about the secret like i taught you about manifesting how could you yeah um but yeah he's like too far and the thing isn't it's her fault for being it's not their fault look it is their fault for being toxic but what i'm saying is in this situation to me it's not the problem that they're a toxic relationship and that you spent all this time listening to it the problem is you spending all the time listening to it and that's the change that needs to be made you are you're not the we don't have to be in that position where we're like the sidekick listening to everybody's drama all the time i think we kind of put ourselves in that position and it's time to just not be that person because this is ridiculous like actually fighting with someone because they got back together and they're happy is crazy to me.

24:41Like I think he's coming off as completely crazy. Now I wouldn't want to listen to their horse shit either, but I just wouldn't listen to it rather than root for them to break up all the time. Well, I don't know if they got back together and are happy. They're just saying that they're happy because they're two broken individuals. So Venus is like, yeah, their relationship is like one of the most toxic relationships I've ever seen in my entire life, which is why I like to embed myself entirely into their, into their, into their duo. That's why we're a trio. Cause I like to be around toxic people And it's extremely offensive to me that my night at Audrey's birthday, I'm holding Kim crying, comforting her, which is what I've done a million fucking times since I started dating.

25:16And then the next day, like nothing fucking happened. I mean, yeah, but that's an interesting memory of the history because you were spending that you were spending that birthday trying to get Marcus to go with a stand up for Natalie, actually, as I recall. So, yeah, I don't know. You're remembering this in a funny way. but he's very pissed off and he's like you put me in a position he's got like the la la lips i think he's going for like the new la la of this cast yeah and it's working because he's even got like the lips and stuff and so marcus is like i didn't put you in any position when you say things in front and he's like yes you did yes you did i was up till 3 a.m last night okay okay i could have been that time concentrating on a parking space for today but instead i was working with you and your girlfriend and he's like nothing to do with me he goes yeah i was dealing with bullshit because of the drama that you're always in and then like the next day you and kim like nothing happened it's like so convenient for you when everyone else is affected by it it's like well good good for us it has nothing to do with you so stop getting involved with shit that ain't got nothing to do with you which he's right i mean ultimately if you're angry at kim for going back over and over and over again to a guy who's toxic you gotta look inward and say why am i going back to this couple that's toxic over and over and over again and getting myself embroiled in their situation just let her cry on the curb like everyone else and enjoy a bacon wrapped hot dog exact lah so he's like yeah um so quit involving everyone by doing it in front of everybody and he's like well i didn't involve you you were trying to be involved last night and i didn't say a single word to you and that's true because he was running around trying to be involved on everybody's side like well now i need to have a talk with you and i need to have a talk with you and I'm going to have a talk with you.

26:58So stop doing that, okay? Mark, but then at the same time, let's not let the toxic couple off the hook because we just need two episodes of what you said. They're awful. And you see Natalie being like, she's like, oh, you know what? This is what he deserves. He deserves to get suspended. Like how many times do I have to tell him, right guys? And she's sitting there talking everyone's ear off. Like they've heard it a million times where like no one cares. And she's going around asking for advice, asking for help, crying at the party. This is what he does to me. This is what he always has to be.

27:26I'm just like, can you believe you did that to me? And oh my God, he just said he's falling out of love with me. And now like, he's like not falling out of love with me. Like Natalie, can you believe it? And he's going around being like, I just can't even deal with her. Like they bought, they pollute the entire party with their bullshit. And then they act surprised that people want to weigh in or have opinions about it. Yeah, that's true. That's true too. And Kim is not only toxic in that relationship. She's just toxic in general. I mean, she's toxic with everybody. Like she doesn't know Natalie.

27:52So she's going to go poison the new girl against Natalie. And she doesn't like him now, so she's going to do what she does to him. I mean, she's just kind of gross, you know. I agree. In general. But I guess this specific thing, I'm just saying, like, stop involving yourself with crazy people and then getting mad that they're crazy, you know. Absolutely. Lazy Susan. Lazy Susan of awfulness has stopped in front of us. It's like I'm talking to myself watching this show, right? I'm like, what are you getting so mad about? You're watching this on purpose, you know. Yeah. And it is that because I love the toxicity.

28:21like I'd love to I'm never going to yell at somebody for being toxic I'll be like why don't you call me when you were in a toxic mood well on the on the on the topic of inserting yourself here comes Natalie while Venus and Marcus are bickering and Natalie's like um I think I need to step in here because the whole root of the problem is that he said she said between you and I and then you walked away last night and Marcus like I'm not gonna have the same conversation a hundred times no but we never even talked about it because our conversations have been like we're like good friends like for me like you've been like my good friend and like kimberly is my good friend and demi like she's my good friend and venus is like my good friend and i would like to leave it at that but like no one else does he's like uh yeah not my problem but also that's not what they're talking about so stop trying to make everything about you too air sucker it's like yeah but like you need to say to your girlfriend and demi like natalie is my friend and that's what i need from you like everybody needs to know that because like i'm a friend right right guys right like i'm a friend everybody knows that yeah uh i'm always gonna have kimberly's side especially when i say i'm falling out of love with her and i can't stand her fucking face and i need to like need to have some space and break up with her i'm always gonna have a fucking side yeah and you should though but you should though okay and then kim's like okay now i need to step in too because i want to clarify this is when i was just cracking up i was like see this show is actually like i was like this show is good because they are now all latching themselves onto this like each one of them it's like it's like a it's gravitational pull they just all add on to the stupid argument yeah and she's like well i want to clarify because i think things are getting misconstrued because i felt like if there was a boundary crossed for me personally with the way that you were texting him okay natalie so that's it she's like are you kidding me because like didn't we have to solve the problems that we were having last night because like i thought we did and so we see how last night like kim was crying in natalie's arms and everything and natalie was there like consoling her and natalie then's like you know all that's changed in the last 16 hours is that kim and marcus like kim and marcus are like back together again that's the only thing that's changed i'm like well that's a pretty big thing that changed and kim says in that moment i didn't know who to turn to and she was there and i think that that that's what it was for me like rather than me missing her as a friend i was like oh so you're a shitty person you're just a shitty, shitty.

30:34You're just a shitty garbage person. Yeah. She's like, I was just using her. So what's the big deal? Yeah. I never said she was off the hook. I just needed a vessel to pour my tears into and she was there. But like hate her still. Oh yeah. Okay. So then Marcus and Demi can hang out and go one-on-one and go to lunch and that's okay. And Kim goes, yeah, because they're like a different kind of friend. Take that. So then Natalie and Demi see them from like arguing. Natalie and Demi. So Demi sees it. So now Demi's going to come over. And Natalie's like, I don't know if we, I think we should be finishing the photo shoot.

31:09And Demi's like, no, I've got something to say. So Demi walks over to this fight. She's like, you guys, Natalie wants to finish the photo shoot and I keep hearing my name. It's like her name was said once, but she's like, I keep hearing my name. And I'm like, I'm already bored with this. Okay, so like, who wants to fight with me now? Yeah, but all it says is that you're my friend. And she's like, I don't want to hear you say my name today. so just like don't say it even if you're saying it like in a good way like i do not want to hear it like i'm so sick that's your problem no because the sound of your voice that's my problem like after last night like your voice ouch why are you being so rude i feel like it because i feel like it what about that the assistant manager mary ketchup i said it because i feel like it i'm like don't bitch don't be a bitch okay how about you don't be a bitch the photo shoot so maybe you shouldn't tell me not to be a bitch at work because like i'm a boss okay i can't apologize anymore you're bitchy all the time maybe you should maybe you should stop though maybe you should okay you know what i was bitchy for one night sorry hold on hold on hold on now wait a second i know what you're doing right now but stop it stop it we've got a photo shoot please stop creating drama on this highly rated dramatic television show please go ahead do it without your shirts on if you're comfortable do you need to take a break natalie maybe speak to hr hooligans and rascals well i'm trying to be professional she's not making it easy lisa because like she needs to leave me alone because like i'm literally shaking right now darling ken has been literally shaking for 25 years he still managed to carry the dog across the restaurant on queue so please get back to work she needs to like leave me alone lisa for at least like one day just like leave me alone oh i'll talk to you tomorrow about it today the harassment continues tomorrow we'll deal with it i'm so tired of being treated like shipping my friends this is natalie complaining in the background she's just going off about she got herself angry about a fight that she wasn't even in.

33:22So now we go to a rock climbing place and Shane goes up to the front desk and he's like Hey, can I bring some shoes off you guys? I'm Shane Davis. Shane Davis, you might have my name written down somewhere you will soon. Hey, can I just tell you? I've got beautiful eyes. We forgot. You didn't notice that he said that last week when he was flirting with a girl. I guess Natalie's like, hey, just have to tell you I've got beautiful eyes. So Natalie Natalie shows up And she's like oh my god Shane Davis are you trying to kill me This is crazy rock climbing And he's doing it without the ropes He's like yeah just rock climbing without the ropes Yeah I'm Shane Davis That's pretty much how I roll Danger I'm no stranger to danger Okay He's like yeah I'm like pretty used to like rock climbing I met Natalie a month ago And like the firiness to her It's like very intriguing to me

34:25So she's like sorry we got off on the wrong foot When I told you that I didn't like you coming to my workplace With another girl and you did it anyway She goes but at the same time Like I feel a connection It's like undeniable Like we're both cute We're both single We're both like a little bit fucked up I mean Jeez I guess we're gonna rock climb That sounds like hell We're both fucked up Let's climb some rocks man So He gets like in the harness and everything And he's like hey you got my phone I'm gonna take some sweet photos When I get to the top of this wall And she's not into rock climbing At all obviously And he's like well I think rock climbing is like the perfect date For me Natalie cause she's like In a sneak peek in my lifestyle Cause when I'm not modeling I'm a personal trainer so I'm like very active like I climb things and that's just it like you want to join my life of climbing stuff great if not sayonara sucker Shane Davis look at this very intense look into the inner workings the inner life of Shane Davis as he climbs a rock Natalie not only my gorgeous I work out a lot get used to it and Natalie's like she does not want to do this but she's like come on Just help me help you get me naked somewhere.

35:47Do we have to do this? So they start climbing. And she's like, my nails are too long for this. I just realized. And the employee's like, yeah, that's, yeah, you shouldn't have done. You shouldn't have come here today. You're killing it, man. You know, my friends would probably describe me as a player with a heart of gold. And I'm honest and I'm caring and like I'm compassionate. But if I feel nurtured and cared for and I feel safe, that's like crack to me, man. Yeah, crack. Black. Safety. Safety is crack, guys. Emotional safety. Yeah. I'm an evolved guy. But I also work out a lot. And I'm a model.

36:22Shane Davis. And so then Natalie, he takes a picture of her and she goes up and then she's like, oh my God, coming down was scary. He's like, yeah, I want to do this black. Okay, I'm going to do it. Okay, take a picture of me when I get to the top, man. Okay, take a photo of me in my most vulnerable state at the top of this rock wall. okay well I'm gonna have to use your phone because I don't know where my phone is he's like okay don't go snooping around now she goes yeah is it like screenshots of my Instagram

36:51maybe so she's like I do like Shane a lot and I feel like it's this really could go somewhere like literally to the top of a wall and he literally is like the epitome of my physical type but I also don't want to make the same mistake that I made before of just like jumping into a relationship when i've only been single for a few months like i'm a crazy bitch that's me commercials here comes one right now

37:21so they rock climb and stuff and um he's like uh yeah you know that uh you gotta get one yeah i'm posing i'm posing for the camera he like flexes yeah he flexes his arm at the top of the wall She's like, wow, that's so vulnerable. He goes, yeah, that's vulnerable. They literally say that. He flexes his arm at the top of a rock wall. She goes, that was so vulnerable of you. That was so vulnerable. He's like, you want to hit one? You want to hit one more? You want to, like, chill for a bit? Like, let's take a little breather. Let's get deep together. Okay, I don't know if I've told you this, but, like, deep in my heart, I'm a person who works out.

38:01I hope that's okay for you. Yeah. It's like a deal breaker for me. well guess what now that you're back down on the floor here's your phone back and that was like really special i give you my you know your phone back because i had back surgery once he's like oh yeah i saw it what i mean no tell me about it he says i saw it i saw your back surgery did mean he went through her instagram she's like yeah yeah i loved your i love your back surgery stories those are like so real and she's she tells us that she had scoliosis as a kid so she had to wear a back brace i mean hi nice to meet you i'm natalie my spine was like this not the cutest luck okay but you know and he goes well you probably developed a lot of perseverance from that shit she's like yeah especially because they like make you stand up and walk the very next day so my spine is like still not straight straight like they can wait i see it and so she's like yeah look look they can only do so much like look at this look at my spine it like protrudes he's like wow oh man that's awesome it's like yeah i look like dainty but i have like 24 screws in my back and like it's like not my favorite thing about myself but it is what it is i'm just like used to it and if i'm ever cremated someone needs to warn them because they're going to take me out it's going to be like a lot of hardware but there's like 24 people that can have a piece of me when i'm no longer here and i think that's like actually very beautiful guys there's gonna Maybe like 24 people in this world will be able to like use my screws.

39:28And that's just like a beautiful thing to be able to get back that way. I just love the idea of different family members walking around. Like every time I look at the screw, I think of Natalie. I miss you, girl. I miss you, girl. So then Shane is going to now one up her. He's like, yeah, I broke my back too, man. Like when I was like 19 years old, I got shot three times and one of the bullets blew out the left lung. And it just like popped out right here, right where my beautiful peck is. Yeah, check that out. You want to know why? You know why I did that? Because, you know, my best friend, he shot me because I got this modeling contract.

40:02You know, the classic get a modeling contract, get shot three times because of it. You know how it goes. Older story in the book. Wait, so this story. So I get a modeling contract. I tell my buddies I'm about to move. And my best friend hits me up and he's like, I need your help. So my best friend and me got into a fight with a group of guys. So it's like, so your best friend didn't shoot you? Or did he shoot you? Was he trying to shoot the other guys and he shot Shane instead? Yes, I think so. Because he says, he got stabbed and I tried to tackle the guy and stab him. And then the same time, like, he just went like this.

40:33He was like, and I got shot, which is why I put some band-aid tattoos on my body. Jeez. He's like, I was paralyzed, but I learned how to walk in three months. That's right. And I walked back in that modeling agency and I said, hey, motherfuckers, you still want to take me? And they were like, God, you're gorgeous Do you work out? And I was like, yeah, I do And they're like, we're compatible And that was my most vulnerable moment With casting directors I fucked them all, I fucked all of the casting directors And I shot them all over the face His story is Yeah, man, I got shot I was paralyzed, I rehabbed myself back And I was still hot Still got it, man I'm still fucking hot Calvin Klein flew me out to Milan I didn't even know how to pronounce it I called it Mulan I don't want to be in that movie so bad You know the other guys Can be like live action Mulan If you want to do a sequel for it I could probably be someone in it I mean that goes tangled but I'll take any role Yeah so I got bandaid tattoos All over the entry and exit wounds Just because I don't want to take my life super serious It did hurt getting one over my butthole But technically that is an exit wound So I let him do it I don't want to look at life Like I'm a victim I mean you were shot three times You were literally a victim You were literally a victim so it's okay We'll allow you to have that one It's okay you don't have to be that defensive about it She's like I don't want to look at life like I'm a victim Although I will use it to get a girl in bed Oh She's like yeah sometimes using the gunshot wounds Is a lure I know she can't help on a primal level But like she's a little turns on Yeah I've been shot three times Works every fucking time what that's a that is you know it's such a it's actually a very scary story but it's also such a stupid story it's like your friend like what are you first of all are you in like west side story you like signed a modeling contract and your friend's like wait a second i got i've got to help me out i'm going to get into a fight so he goes to like a knife fight but then there's guns like where was what are you doing and if you're in the middle about to you just signed a modeling contract why are you going to go like step into a street fight somewhere it just was so wild It's just all these models like meeting up and group getting into group fight with guns and knives like do models do that I would think that if you're a girl because I'm imagining that they're fighting other models right.

42:57100 % it's a model you know and they're like yeah we got a gun I got a gun I'm a model with the gun and then they started fighting over like Calvin Klein contracts and then it turns into a well it's just a crazy story what the hell you would think if you were models you'd be fighting with like foam swords you know what I mean you don't want to hurt your faces. is it's like the battle of like will amina versus ford it's like

43:23it's i i just love the idea of this like i mean i'm sure it was like not a model fight but i'm like with you all i do is i just imagine a bunch of models like having some sort of like catwalk moment and that's like that's like their fight yeah it's crazy so then we go to sir and um There's Peter. He's helping Chris muddle. He's like, this is how you muddle, son. Okay, can you explain to me what green despacho is? Because I don't get it. And Natalie's like, haven't you ever heard of fried green tomatoes? And he goes, yeah. I mean, have you seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes? And she's like, no.

43:59He's like, yeah. Well, the boyfriend gets run over by a train. So spoiler alert. Anyways. And then Marcus is checking with Kim about some asparagus. Actually, it's at their apartment. They're checking about asparagus. And he's like, I got to be honest. When we're not fighting, it's like perfect. You know what I mean? It's like we're so loving. There's like no red flags. Like I love you. I'm like, that's a big qualification. When we're not fighting, there's no red flags. I'm like, but when you are fighting, isn't that the red flag? Like I don't think you could just cut out the fighting and be like everything.

44:34You know, our relationship is great except for the fact when we're fighting and we are breaking up all the time. But when we're not, like, it's really a wonderful relationship. I'm like, but you can't. That's too important. You can't do that. Yeah. So is this what he was telling Natalie? That's what he was telling Natalie at home. Yeah, okay. Literally like cross-cutting between them at home and then at Sir and everything. And then Venus is, Ben Venus is serving a table after he has given the down low about Friday Green Tomatoes, which Friday Green Tomatoes must feel like, you know, a Buster Keaton movie to these kids.

45:08Like, what? No kidding. But also I'm surprised Natalie hasn't watched it because she's a total Tawanda. Wasn't that her name? Tawanda! When Kathy Bates finally gets mad and crashes into the sexy girl's car who bullied her in the parking lot. And she's like, I'm Tawanda! And goes crazy. And she's like, I'm going to sue you. And she goes, oh, honey, you may be young, but I'm old and I've got insurance. It's a classic moment. Yeah. Pretty good movie. so Venus is like he's serving a table but he checks his phone and there's a text from Marcus so he texts Marcus back and Venus is like hey Natalie when you have two seconds will you come with me so I can show you some dumb shit she's like oh absolutely Serge don't do that I didn't do the ticket do it okay so they go to the back I want to show you this text message from Marcus okay bitch look at this look what he wrote okay so Marcus wrote a text message that said Hey dude, I've just seen a side of you That I really want nothing to do with And I can't respect it And I don't want to be fake and act like we're cool So no need to pretend like we are Oh my god Yeah, and I just like sat there for like two seconds To type this response I was like, Marcus, you literally look like a dumbass And so does Kim And I'm behaving out of retaliation towards your stupidity And the fact that you and Kim don't give a fuck about anyone but yourselves And I don't want to hear about your clown-ass relationship From you or Kim Y 'all just look stupid as fuck there.

46:34I said it. I personally feel so betrayed because I have held Kim when she cried a million times. And then we see a flashback of like him doing that. Yeah. And Kim being like, Marcus is like so typical Marcus. You need to be active about this because this behavior will aid you, girl. So he's like, yeah, I've been there a million times. And then we see a flashback to him being there for Marcus. And Marcus is like, I'm going home after what I've done. And I'm going to get reamed by Kimberly for defending Natalie. He's like, okay, I get it. I know. I know, bro. So back in the present, he's like, yeah.

47:11And so for the first time, I'm like fed up. And I'm like, fuck this shit. I'm like fucking done. And like, you pushed me to my fucking limit. And then you're going to make me out to be the bad guy. You haven't even seen me pissed yet. Oh, you haven't even seen it. And Natalie is like, this is crazy. Cause you're just giving your honest opinion. in so now we go back over to the kim and marcus um at their apartment looking at you know asparagus and kim is like this tiny little apartment kitchen and kim is holding like a knife as big as the kitchen just waving it out i know and they're like strangely like they're they're a living room that just has like a white like decrepit sofa in it and nothing on the walls and she's like the thing that he said in those texts are unforgivable he's obviously harbored these feelings and just now feels like it's an opportunity to say it because like you just don't feel those things overnight like he's been feeling them for a long time he's like yeah and like he's coming out of relationship he said you and kimberly are a joke can you even believe that yeah that's what i'm saying yeah and i can't believe he was like talking about you like that like calling you a joke i mean what that she's like yeah it's so hurtful and so he says that he takes accountability that he texted venus first but when he sent me back like what he sent me back like now that's starting a problem no you texted him you're not friends anymore so you started it sir but this guy has like this guy has had to receive all your like all all your drama and he's tried to support you both and tried to help you both and now like the moment you guys get together you're just like oh actually i don't think we're friends anymore because i didn't like that you were frustrated by us so bye you're not our friends and so he writes back obviously a very catty text which wasn't great but like marcus you started this marcus literally started this you can't be like i admit i did write the first text but his text was worse so he really started it no you know it's really hard for me to be on venus's side because i really don't like venus going up to women and being like bitch bitch and like acting like he's gonna beat up a woman and calling her bitch like listen i mean there is like gay slang like bitch and lord knows on this show or you know we say bitch it's not like you can never say the word bitch but like going after women and calling them bitches and acting like you're going to get in a fight is just a horrible look and he does it all the time and it's gross and so i can't be on his side because he just seems like gross to me so i won't be on his side for right now so i'm not going to be on kim's side or marcus's side either but it puts me in a conundrum but then again this is vanderpump rules and so i'm just going to not be on anybody's side.

49:46But for right now, Venus is grossing me out the most in this situation. Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

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