#3130 Below Deck Med S10E13: Party Pooper

0:21ah look at that no last show of the year and we don't have an intro today you know why because we did amazon live last night and i had it turned off so whatever hi everybody welcome to the show watch for crappens watch for crappens i'm ronnie and that's ben over there hi ben hi ronnie how are you you have the glow of a lady that's about to be off for a week i do have that glow i feel that glow we are at the finish line for our our content although we still will have plenty of content on the feed we have we have lots of good stuff um chiefly we do our annual tradition which is a crossover event with reality gaze wherein we recap a holiday movie and it usually spans over three or four episodes well this year our holiday movie is my secret santa which is available on netflix It's basically like Mrs.

1:19Doubtfire meets a holiday movie wherein a lady dresses like Santa. So that way she can have a job at a ski resort so her daughter can go to Snowboarding Academy. I mean, it's a universal time. I mean, we've all been there. Why was it made? Why did we talk about it? It's like Mrs. Doubtfire with all of the comedy talent. I mean, yeah, I was like devoid of any kind of talent, but it was fun to make fun of. Just doubt. It's just doubt. Nothing. It's just Mrs. Doubt. It definitely does not reach the same heights as Mrs. Doubtfire. But again, the Snowboarding Academy, that's fun. And hijinks. And yeah, we have a fun time.

2:07We have actually a really fun time recapping it. We do every single year when we do this, the four of us get on the mic and we chat for four hours. or more because we have so much fun cracking each other up. It's always a miracle that we even get through the entire movie. Yeah. Super fun time. So check that out. That'll be for four of the days. And then we're re-releasing some classic episodes, some Real Housewives of New York at Christmastime. And then we'll have a classic bonus episode next week, wherein we rank the alphabet letters and we're bitches about it. Okay. The letter J, as I recall, doesn't end up winning any prizes.

2:45so uh join us we'll be here all next week doing that stuff um so those of you newer especially they'll all be new to you okay yeah and then we'll be back um the following week to tackle eight zillion bravo shows that we'll be on a double recap of the valley i mean not the valley the valley persian style uh there's so much coming up but you know what let's not think about that because we're about to party. You're going to party. Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. It's going to be so great. I'm so excited. And, you know, what a great way to send us off into our holiday break than with a particularly crazy episode of Below Deck Med.

3:27This is one that we've been bracing for for a while, for a very long time, the poop episode. And it arrived, and it was as visceral as we expected. And there was other crazy stuff that happened, a crazy cliffhanger. I'm going to say, I think this season of Below Deck Met is officially a really good season. I'm not going to harp on how it's so much better than the last season of Below Deck, but I guess I just did. But I really am enjoying this Below Deck. I feel like every episode, I'm kind of fired up a bit, and that's the best sign for a Below Deck episode. There was a lot of drama happening on the internet yesterday over this episode because Kathy posted something in the morning on her Instagram that was like, oh, hello, I've been dreading this episode.

4:10It's going to be the most painful episode of the year for me. Please, I know you're all there for me and support me hearts. And so people are like, oh, my God, what happened to Kathy? Was this like a sexual harassment thing, like the below deck down under thing that happened a few years ago? Was this, you know, who was mean to Kathy? So everybody was online trying to figure out what happened to Kathy. And the guesses were wild, you know, and horrible. And so everybody was ready for this. And then there was kind of a turn against Kathy because people were like, wait a minute. If this is all about the poop in the shower drain and she's trying to get everybody all riled up, fuck Kathy then.

4:49You know, there was some, you know, the Internet. The comments are from lover to hater, even though something traumatic just could have happened. And I thought, man, this girl has really stirred up a lot of drama. what if it is the poop in the drain and so i was watching the whole episode like oh my god i hope it's more than the poop in the drain because kathy is really gonna get dragged and then it was you know then it was a death in the family which was so sad but i was like what a horrible ending to this like it was something really terrible and horrible for her but it was also she had so much of the country being like fuck you kathy like so much so many people were ready to pounce on kathy yeah and also to be on the poop episode like what are the odds that that they were like you have this episode that is all about poop and then it ends on this really serious note i was just not expecting that whatsoever i was expecting something stupid because they were sort of like gearing up for um like max was complaining about nathan being irresponsible and i thought the cliffhanger was gonna be max having like a hissy fit on the picnic and then it just took that turn i was like oh my god it's like this episode does everything it's wild yeah yeah i really didn't like it because it was about poop which i hate poop i hate it i think it's one of the most i mean it's literally the most disgusting thing that people do and i hate talking about it in real life i hate that we have to talk about it for 18 hours today and i also hate that it's obviously the gay guy that did it it's obviously clearly the gay guy in the tattoo joaquin who did it which also really pissed me off like we're going through a rough time in this country right now sir we don't need you know i know respectability politics be damned okay stop pooping in drains what are you doing we know it was him pooping in drains you know yeah and you would be so proud of me ronnie because i immediately went and i looked up um what sort of narcotics could cause someone to poop uncontrollably and guess what the you know what the answer is because you're ronnie you know but for the rest of us the good old the good old cocaine the illegal drugs most associated with causing need to defecate by the way this is according to google ai uh are stimulants primarily cocaine and methamphetamine like it was right away it just came up it just says cocaine like in big letters it says cocaine is a well-known stimulant that can induce bowel movements shortly after use the reasons for this effect include blah blah blah blah blah um so i'm not saying that that's what happened but i just felt like doing that research after watching the episode for some strange reason yeah well there now you know you know if you ever need to clear out why take fiber when there's cocaine i will also say that you know uh we we had uh we had dinner with asia back in june and she was like she was like this is all this she basically told a story she said like i like she once had to like you know grab poo out of a shower drain and um so we were we sort of knew something like this would be coming but you know of course we didn't say anything because you know etc you know we don't want to spoil anything and it's not right but um she definitely was her tales of it were so they've stuck with me all this time for months and months and months so finally to see this episode I was like, oh my God, I've been waiting for this.

8:11I was like, I need to see how this happened. I also need to see who did it. I need to see this cast of characters who may have pooped in this drain. And, you know, it definitely, this was one of the most disgusting things that Bravo has ever aired. It was awful. I mean, Christmas week too. Like, come on, man, really? I hope, again, like it could have been any of those people, but we know it's the guy. We know it's the guy with the mustache. We know it's the gay. It's the cokehead gay with the mustache and the tutu. I mean, we just know it is. He was literally wearing a T-shirt that said whip it.

8:44Whip it real good. Okay. Spelled whip it like W-H-I-P-P-E-T. Okay. And this guy, this guy shat in the shower and crammed it into the drain. We all know it. And Aisha had to reach in up to her elbow to get it out. Okay. It's out there. And if he didn't do it, then he better point fingers at someone else on his on of his crew, because right now, it's clearly him. Every single time they every single time they're like, who did this? The camera would just like would just pan over to him. It was obvious that the editors were signaling it to. Right. Despite the little like who done it. It was clear every single time they would just show the guy.

9:24But oh, my gosh, disgusting. Just so gross. Okay, yeah, you know why I'm pausing, because I was, of course, looking to see if anybody posted about this. Like, you know, when the guests start, like, this was editing, and how dare you, how dare you suggest that I even pooped in the shower, and I cannot find anything. I don't see any Joaquin denying anything online. That doesn't mean it's not happening. It was just a one-page search. But you know, like on Drag Race, isn't there something called like After the Tuck or Beyond the Tuck or Untucked? Like why, I still, I want that for some of these guests.

10:03I want some of these guests to have to answer to their behavior where they have someone sits down and says, okay, so what was going on with the poop in the shower? That's an amazing idea, actually. I think we just gave Bravo another after show. Go steal it from us, Bravo. Go ahead. Yeah, steal it. Go ahead. Because there have been too many, you know, some guests are like, fine. They're like, whatever. I don't need to hear from them. But there are like many that I really need to hear. I want them to be shamed. I feel like they come and they go. And, you know, we all shame them on like on social media.

10:32But we never hear from them. We never see from them. Like, I need them to be like sat down in a chair with a camera on and a bright light and answer for their behavior. Well, you know, the other thing about this that was really upsetting is whenever something happens on a show and then it happens in our personal life. It's like something that we have to say, well, this happened to me, too. And this is when it happened to me. Right. Like it naturally is kind of what we do on this show. And I do have a poop in the shower story. And I was like, really? So now I have to share a poop in the shower story.

11:01Come on. OK, so I have to tell you. So I was probably 12 and I was with my family. We went to Florida and we stayed at this hotel. It's a regular hotel. Nothing fancy. And my parents really wanted to go to karaoke. Like that's when karaoke became really big. my mom was obsessed like she literally stayed at this place only to do karaoke because they had karaoke in the hotel lobby or whatever bar whatever restaurant so they're excited they're like hurry up ronnie hurry we're going to karaoke i don't want to miss like my mom's really into karaoke so i had to poop i'm like 12 or whatever so i'm like i gotta poop so i went into the bathroom and so i sit down i start and then um the window was open i noticed that there's a window in the bathroom and it's open.

11:48I'm like, who has a window in a hotel bathroom? But you know, Florida. So I got, I was like, what if someone sees, you know, I was 12. So I'm like, what if somebody passes by and they see me pooping? So I got up to close the window and I like kind of, it was over the shower. So I have to like stand on the bathtub, you know, reach over my little chubby 20, 12 year old self, close the thing, whatever. So then we go, you know, everything's fine so then we go to um karaoke i i bomb by the way i basically shot on the karaoke stage it was terrible vocally and then we go back to the room and my mom screams and she's like ah we're like what happened and she goes someone pooped in the shower

12:33she called everybody she could call i'm surprised she didn't call the fbi like everybody showed up that could possibly be called she's freaking out on them crying losing her mind, which she'll do anyway. But we move hotel rooms. My mom talked about it for years. Can you believe this disgusting hotel? I mean, they were lucky that that was before Yelp. And it really didn't dawn on me until like a lot later that that was probably me. I was like right in the middle of starting and I never admitted it. I never admitted it to this day. It's like one of these things I take to the grave. And you know, my mom is not doing so well.

13:08she's got um an illness right now so it's really bad and i'm like do i have to confess this to my mom and i will not do it i think it would bring her extreme joy to know i have a finally an answer to the peep saga like who would do that how did that happen it's all out now there you go it's all out now it's gonna it's gonna get leaked pun intended to your mom i'm literally blushing that was it happened when i was 12 but you see the shame can you imagine it's all these years later It's 38 years later and I'm still mortified. I can't even believe it. How does it feel? How does it feel to be out of the closet?

13:44I don't have the relief. I don't have the relief of telling the story. I thought I would feel better. All night I was like, should I tell this? This is disgusting. Nobody needs to hear this. And I was like, well, you're 12. Forgive yourself. It's time to forgive you. It's not. You don't forgive yourself. I'm still not over it. So I was traumatized by this episode. Wow. This really brought up a lot. I shockingly don't have a poop in the shower store. I've got other poop stories. I have a tragic story about pooping. I think I did. I said this on a bonus episode once about pooping my pants and driving back from Arizona once.

14:16That was really one of the very worst things that ever happened to me where. I was driving back from Tucson and I was with three friends. We were driving together and we stopped in Palm Springs to have dinner and we were getting gas. and I let out like the tiniest little fart at the gas station while I was doing the gas and I was like whoop that does not feel right that doesn't feel right so I sat there with my butt clenched and like for like the next five minutes as we went over to the we got to the restaurant and I was like and I was like but I wanted to be a chill about it uh so you know I but was super clenched super clenched we sit down at the table and I'm like I um I'm like excuse me where's the bathroom and like it's right over there and for whatever reason this restaurant in palm springs in order to get to the bathroom you have to cross over a tiny bridge like you're in a japanese tea garden in front of the entire restaurant so i'm like walking like my butt my butt clenched on display and because i in my mind i'm like are the back of my pants brown i have no idea and i'm just like over this little bridge and then i get to the bathroom and like someone is in the stall and they're doing who knows what and they're there forever and i'm just standing there And then there's another guy and it looked like I was cruising the bathroom because it's Palm Springs.

15:34And I was like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, please just let me go. And it was it was it was a really unpleasant experience. Oh, no.

15:46But just the fact that I had to walk over a tiny bridge in my in my poop shame. I was like, why? Why do I have to cross a bridge in front of all the diners? Like what if you know the worst? Oh, my gosh. All right. So, you know, humans poop, Joaquin. Okay. But don't shove it down the thing. I mean, my God, you embarrassed us all, sir. So here we go. Season 10, episode 13, The Poop-A-Trader, it's called. And Gail is just coming to the boat for the poop episode. I'm so happy for her. Yes. It's like sweet angel Gail. Little angel, sweet little Gail. Coming back for the poop episode. So she's coming.

16:24And what's his buns? He's just made out with Kizzy like two days ago. and also like went on some horrible racist tirade recently in the news. We've been getting a lot of emails about Nathan as well. So listen, you know, I know what Nathan did. There's all these articles like, oh, hero, Irish hero saves people in the horrible tragedy. No one is denying that that was a tragedy. Stop it. We're not saying that. What we're saying is you can do a good thing, but then also follow it up with a very bad thing, which he did. Yeah, you can still be shitty. You know, you still don't go on a racist tirade.

16:55It's like it doesn't absolve you from doing something good. The emotions were heightened. Yes, I get it. You know, people who are saying that I get it. It was still shitty. It was a shitty thing to say. And then he came out and doubled down on it later in the week. So stop it. Like that's just shitty, period. It's really shitty. It really is. Just answer that stuff. yeah absolutely i i 100 still stand in our uh declaration that it was shitty shitty thing to do on an episode about shit um so gail is here gail is here and they hug and everyone's happy and everyone's watching and you know nathan takes out an umbrella i'm the thing that i was focusing on was what is going on with gail's bag it looked like a guitar bag or was it a golf bag it had this like long tall tennis bag what was that what was in her bag why was it why was it why did it have a tall part in the back i couldn't figure it out was it a tennis but did she have tennis rackets was she going to tennis i thought it was a racket bag but that's probably too big to be a racket bag right i was like what is in there what's what is what is why does gail have such a strangely shaped bag or was she like oh i can't find my normal bag i have to take my tennis bag then she doesn't have a racket in there because then nathan kept on hugging her and he was hugging around it so it was empty that whatever was up there because he was crushing it i spent a lot of time observing the situation yeah i'm i did too i noticed that too i was like is there a lot of tennis playing on this but is it to kiss captain sandy's ass because she likes that what's your fernandez gg for now i always want to call her geraldine ferraro gg you can't sure she would like that i have i have on this show many times gg's like oh man to be confused for a hot bitch like geraldine ferraro that's a compliment i have a i think i have a picture of geraldine ferraro from like 1985 wow which i just want to just want to brag i wish that was when you pooped your pants um who says i didn't that would have been an amazing one it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

19:01So everybody's watching this It's like they're just seeing the most romantic ending To a movie they've ever seen And they're all standing there And Max is like crying He's like taking pictures on his phone a bit And they're hugging and whatever Everybody's like happy And then Asia's, you know, everybody's happy Gail's there, I mean, I don't know What do you want me to say? It's a parade for Gail Fucking Gail's very happy She's like, I'm really excited to come back to the mid. It's been almost, it's been almost 10 months since I've been seeing Nathan. And unfortunately it all ended hard, landed bad.

19:34But life goes on and I want to be filled in a very professional platonic manner. So then everyone's like crying and everyone. We're going to make up over a game of tennis.

19:47Captain Sandy's. She said plutonic, which I like. Plutonic? She's like, I want this to be plutonic. So everybody, you know, Aisha, of course, is standing there like.

20:03Like a little doggie when you're when you're home coming home from work, just wagging her tail, just wiggling her whole body. And Sandy's like, hey, check out Nathan. He's a boson now. Isn't that great? Isn't that great? Yeah, he's a boson. Oh, I know. Congratulations. and so then they are like just smiling at each other and it's cute and of course kizzy is like super angry she's downstairs she's not even there to see it but she's just standing at a counter and she's like what the fuck is that what's happening upstairs and joe's like it's gail gail this is gail's bag nathan's gail she's here look how strange her bag is god i knew i had a fucking hated this girl for a reason she can't even bring the right bag onto her boot joe why She's only here for one charter.

20:45And so Kizzy's like, oh, fuck Gail. You know, she's like, ooh, Gail's here. Such a little eye roll. Oh, Kizzy. It's so fun to watch Kizzy lose every single week. I mean, I've never seen somebody try harder and just fail harder than Kizzy. And it's glorious. Every single week she fails even harder. I mean, how can you up the amount of fail that this girl is doing on the show? Love to see it. So then Gail meets Kathy. and there's like a lot of chatter. And then Joe is outside talking to Nathan and Joe's like, how are you feeling, mate? And Nathan's like, God, mate, brought it here to my eye. He's like, are we going back to the dock today?

21:25Do you think sides have changed? Oh God, Gail and I, we're not in... By the way, have you noticed that like when Joe does his like confessionals, he talks in this like hushed tone as if he's like at a museum. He's like, Gail and I, we're not in a good place. There's multiple reasons. I don't know what it's about with her, but I think she doesn't really respect me. like she doesn't like because of like you know what i've done like to the girls and stuff so like since last season her perspective on me and my perspective is just never caught on like oh so she doesn't like how you treat other women because you treat them badly so you don't like her because she sees you for exactly who you are that's that's why exactly the worst yeah your perspective is that you're you're horrible to women which you are still to this day by the way you've actually one-upped yourself just like kizzy you've one-upped yourself and how horrible yeah you're horrible to women and then you don't like that she sees that you're horrible to women so you're horrible to her which is further evidence that you're horrible to women yeah yeah and he's like but you know i've got mates with nathan so i don't want this to be a bad thing for the deck team her so um now gail is changing and kathy's talking to her and she's Like, well, I've heard someone's a bit more excited than others to see you.

22:41Is that right? So you're hated by the teeth, Tutter, eh? And Gail's like, oh, you're talking about no idea. I'm so honoured to and so privileged to have Captain Sandy, you know, call me up in a time of need. Since stepping off my day after me, see, I've not stopped learning. I did my dive masters, then I became a scuba diving instructor. I studied a little bit. I got an ice cream machine and I studied that manual. I can make really good ice cream now. Got a blender. I haven't looked at that manual, but I think it's pretty simple. You just press the own button. I've become really good at a lot of different things.

23:12I can put together IKEA furniture now quicker than ever. Studied that quite a bit. Really did a lot of work with the ale wench. Caesars, did you know you hold them by the loopy things, not the sharp things? It's a game changer. I learned so much. When you carry a knife, you should carry at the blade facing your elbow instead of out, because you could hurt somebody. turns out irons are not what you put charcuterie on

23:39so nathan's like i'm having heart palpitations and asia says focus this could be the first time the rest of your life go tell her what to do she like she says that and like you know in a rom-com like like what are you doing here bro go on and get her get her bring her back you know it's like she's leaving on a train but like the blow deck version is like what are you doing here talking go and give her a chamois it's like that's like that's the romantic overture it's like it's like an officer and a gentleman so we find out that max has not put a trash bag in the trash can and so joe's like maximus come on here and he's like sorry supreme d don't they can't do so max is still bitter and then we see Everybody getting ready for the charter.

24:30Gail's getting a tour of the boat. Gail and Nathan are giggling and all that good stuff. And then, you know, and I have to say, I really like Gail. Don't really like Nathan. But what I really hate, love stories on the boat. I hate love stories on the boat. It's like my least favorite part of Below Deck. I like the messiness when they're fucking with each other. Not fucking each other, but like making each other cry and stuff. But I hate like happy love, happy love stories. I just don't like them. I don't like them in real life and I don't like them on the boat. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I, you know, I mean, I, I agree.

25:05I actually largely agree. I, I've, I don't, I don't think I've ever really bought into any blow deck romance. I'm trying to think of any, I think they, it's just, it's just not the show for it. You know, it was, it was sort of cute. Like taking out the, what we know about Nathan now, when captain Sandy said, Gail's coming on the boat and like seeing Nathan's like uncontrollably smiling. like that was actually very sweet but then like that just kind of i don't know it like like it was like a momentary it was like a it was a ephemeral moment of sweetness that just became more fodder for below deck like i just i'm with you i'm just not here for the love story at all yeah get rid of it it never works out annoying never works out like everyone's the everyone so the thing is this this show has really leaned into the love story with these two because we started off the entire season they already showed us that the baby is on its way like the baby is born so they're like oh my god a below deck baby this is so exciting they're really leaning into the below deck babyness of it all but don't we know the first rule of being a bosun on below deck is that you've left a baby behind in florida so like this is not gonna end well this is seeding a very bad story for later this is like a prequel this is like it seems so nice but it's really just the origin story of this baby being fucked up and below deck 20 and being like oh my dad left me my dad had monk hair that's all i know about him

26:35because it is i mean and the whole love story you i thought that the charter finished they went they had this mad romance something happened we didn't know what really happened but then we find out in this episode that they basically just traveled six weeks together which i mean it's is a lot i mean And I guess especially when you're young, it's intense, you know. So they traveled together for six weeks. They went home. He went back home. She went back home. They thought everything was great. And then she was calling him and he just ghosted her for like five days or something. And then she was like, is everything okay?

27:06Because I just want to know you're okay. And he's like, I can't do this. Like you're nagging me. And then dumped her. So am I supposed to find this romantic? Because I would say never get back together with this person again. this but this was this is what it sounds like to me this person basically had the hottest girl he's ever had or will ever get got six weeks of sex with this grand love with this hot girl and then the second she required him to even just call her back he was like fuck you i'm going on the boat again and maybe i'll be getting laid by somebody else and i don't want you to pressure me because i'm on tv now so i can get laid all the time and then um basically did just that came on the boat And then he ended up, you know, not having anybody that he could continuously bang because all he had left was Kizzy.

27:51And let's face it, she's a grab bag of terrible. And so now he's going back to her. So to me, this isn't a romantic story. So I really don't like that they're editing it like, oh, my God, what a romance. Because to me, it's not as gross. Yeah, I agree. And this is by the way, I don't think this is the first Below Deck Baby. I think that honor goes to JP and Danny. were that those their names from below deck sailing remember that the pregnancy of ill repute remember he like he got he knocked her up and then denied ever like knocking her up and that was like one of the messiest things oh that's true yes that's true i forgot what a piece of shit that guy is i'm just saying his mom was trying to make her take the the test and all that the DNA test or whatever.

28:39So like progress and that we have a baby that, um, uh, a below deck guy actually takes credit for, but yeah, I, I just don't see this as being like a great romance. I think this is like a nice, it's like a nice, you know, romance and some part of their lives, but now they're bound to each other for the rest of their lives. You know, one hopes, but, um, yeah, I'm, I'm not buying it either. Yeah. Settling for mediocrity. I'm not cheering this right before Christmas. No, no, I'm returning this. I'm getting the gift receipt and I'm sending it back. I'm bringing these two to Whole Foods, okay? Taking them to Whole Foods and dropping them off.

29:16Yes. So guess what Sandy's doing? She's like, hey, come here. I want to show you something. You haven't caught up on wind in a while. Get over here. Let me show you on my little iPad. Wind. Wind is coming. It's great. Yeah. There's a storm that's coming. Yeah. Storm is a stunt casting. It's played by Jennifer Aniston. Oh, she's going to be great. stormy daniels wind the stormy daniels season so uh then mason played by jennifer anderson of course she does great work you know she's a lot more range than people give her credit for people think jennifer anderson can only do the that like her voice but she can do a lot more she can do stormy daniels as a storm very well very convincing so nathan is showing gail the emergency exit which i suggest she uses immediately jump in the water yes yeah run so the girl you replaced and she's like covering for not for my ace and he's like okay covering sorry well her and joe were uh playing around and then she got sick and she missed the crew last night out and then joe hooked up with kizzy and she's like oh that's rough he's already tattletaling on his best friend which I loved.

30:26He's like, yeah, Joe's still a piece of shit. Be mean to him again. And she's like, well, that's rough. And he says, well, I've not kissed her on a night out. And she's like, don't make things weird. I'm just telling you, I want to be transparent like the back of my head. And she's like, okay. And he's like, there's nothing to worry about. I'm not worried. He's like, I don't even speak to her. I really like, I'm literally like super hot. I don't worry about things like this, but I'm just telling you, I'm not interested in kissy at all. It's It's really okay. He's like, I don't want to bang her again.

30:55I don't even want to have a threesome with the two of you. Okay, you can really stop now. Please, really, please. That's enough. So then up on deck, Joe is really moody. He's like pissed off. He does not like that she's even on the boat. This guy's such a piece of shit. What did that girl ever do to you? All she said is you called her a princess and she said you're a dick. I mean, why is that? Why is that sending you over the edge? Yeah, I really did. But you insulted her first. That's the other thing. It's like you did the insult first. Every time they show that clip, he's like, I think you're a princess.

31:26Like, you started it. And then she called you a prick. You started it. She's allowed to defend herself. So then Max is with Kathy. They're in bed cuddling. And he's got paper in his hand. And she's like, you know, I got a little bit emotional this morning. I've just never had someone get emotional. And he just, oh. And she finds her face like she's crying over Max, which is also disturbing. What's Kathy in love with Max for? What the hell is going on? Do you not see this man maybe? Like losing his mind because he wasn't made lead backhand. Like, how do you find this attractive, Kathy? Come on, man.

31:59These people have all lost their mind. So Kathy's saying, I don't ever cry. And he's like, what is happening? She's like, I don't cry in front of anyone. I didn't cry in front of my ex-boyfriends. I only cry in the car listening to music and getting to the place I need to go. Because I feel like I'm not wasting time then. She's like, excuse me. I need to cry, but I'm going to wait until I do some errands. I like to multitask. That's how I do it too. I'm emotional. I'm emotionally British. Oh yeah. That's, I wish I could be, I feel like I was at one point, but I'm such an easy crier now. It's crazy.

32:36I'm crying movies and stuff like that, but you know, or like a show or somewhere where it's, you know, you're like just sitting there and you can cry. But yeah, mostly I, I just get in the car and cry, but the car is the best place to cry. Car is a good place to cry. Well, the best is when the car is a good place to cry because it also, makes for really good content in an indie film. It's like you're not making an indie film until you have someone cry in the car, right? Yeah. And you have your whole soundtrack there, you know, because the phone's usually hooked up so you can play whatever song you want, like Easy to Be Hard from the movie of Hair.

33:08Sometimes I like to go in the car and then pretend I'm Kevin Klein in the ice storm and just cry at the steering wheel. That's also fun. Yeah. And also what's really fun about it is especially if you're like sobbing, like if somebody dies or something and i really need to cry i will go into the car and i'll drive and it's like it feels like it's private you know it's like well i'm in the car but it's also the most performative place you can cry because people do look over and they're like what the hell yeah i'm not a pretty crier i'm like my whole face bloats up my eyes almost close and i'm just like i look hideous not coming down my nose and i'll just look at them like fuck you for watching me cry good suffer suffer from my crying you know who cries in a car so well joan cusack uh she can just wail in a car right i feel like i've seen five movies where she's just driving and just like sobbing in a car that's really her specialty she can really drive through those tears like i would have to i'd have to pull over because like i wouldn't be able to see it but she just can do it mouth agape everything i mean that is her sweet spot yeah um so kathy is telling max um i'm secretly happy that gail has nathan and it's not some random girl that might like you that's not gonna happen so you're safe so preference sheet meeting time um pull out the ipads okay whoa it's a bunch of real estate people uh-oh oh well here we go here's the first sign here's the first bad sign okay carlin owns 17 companies okay so um what what sort of fraud is carlin up to right That's too many companies.

34:40Garland is full of shit. Garland's got some LLCs. She's got some LLCs for different properties that she's counting as separate companies or something. Garland is like a shower drain on the show, full of shit. This is a woman who has defrauded people. I'm telling you this right now. Own 17 companies? No. I mean, yes, I agree with what you say. She just opens up lots of little LLCs, but something is fishy about this. Yeah. So she's chartering. She's chartering bravado with real estate brokerage company from Florida. So we know it's trouble because, listen, real estate people, my family was all in real estate.

35:19And let me tell you, the most fucked up offices I've ever been in real estate offices. Those agents are crazy. And if anybody's going to shit in a drain, it's going to be a real estate agent on a party bender with the other real estate agents. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Like the concept of like real estate, real estate in Florida. I think I feel like that's just always been linked with nefarious deeds, right? Like, like what the stock market crash like 1929, Black Friday, that was somehow linked to speculation of real estate in Florida. Like it all comes back to real estate in Florida, 2008, predatory lending, Florida real estate.

35:55It's all like so when I find that there's someone who owns 17 companies doing real estate in Florida, I'm like, okay, we'll be seeing you again in a few years when when when when the court reports come out yeah um i wouldn't be surprised so josh is saying that they've got a pescatarian a vegan and some gluten freeze and he's like oh god not not a vegan again and then we see a flashback to the guy being like well i'm vegan and you know vegans make more effort towards our food oh okay she is that guy that guy um so uh we see uh carlin newman we see all of our whole preference sheet and everything.

36:33She loves a frozen Butterfinger. I'll tell you that much. And she loves Cheez-Its and lots of other things. She hates her teeth. She hates her teeth. She hates having healthy teeth. Yeah, that's the takeaway. And Asia's like, Connor would like to go all out with an 80s themed celebration. She would love to have Asian food for dinner that night. Yeah, and then they want to see some lighthouse and they want, you know there's just all the stupid shit they want to do the 80s party is working my nerves already and so now um kizzy is ironing and nathan's like well have you talked to v at all she's like well i think that she will speak to her when she's back oh poor v isn't it v's birthday too or is that tomorrow the next day the next day is v's birthday which is what's crazy about um Kathy losing a family member on that same day.

37:27So we then have Joe talking to Gail and everything. And he's like, first of all, like when I got the news, I spot me gum out. It's like, oh, great. You're, you do realize you're responsible for cleaning that up, right? And he's like, cause obviously we had an ug last season, you know, and the only bad thing that I had last season, regardless of what happened is basically you. So like I'm carrying this energy of you being the worst thing that ever happened to me all of last year. She's like, Oh really? The worst thing that happened to you? You caused a huge shitstorm of drama between two other girls as well.

38:07What are you talking about the only bad energy was with Gail? That's not true. That's verifiably untrue, sir. Yeah. Like last season, I didn't really understand. Like when you're dealing on saying something, it frustrates the hell out of me. And last season, that's how I felt. Like I never meant to disrespect you as a late deckhand and i just felt like how i felt like i was being treated like yeah honestly and i hate micromanagers and i think i became the micromanager that i always hated like i've done bad and i just want to say i'm sorry i've grown as a person i'm like doing that full 360 kind of thing i've you know that when you've done a 360 it means you're in the same place as where you started but that's okay joe because yeah that was true but it was true So, yeah, that was a good call.

38:49And she's just smiling at him. But then it cuts to her talking to us. And she's like, just a snake. He said, yeah, we're cool. But before, and he's gone behind my back and stabbed it. So I just don't trust him. And he's like, I still don't trust her. Because last charter, I didn't even say this for the good of Nathan at the time. But listen here. The fact that she's texting her boyfriend while playing with Nathan. She's cheated. She's a cheater. And I lose a lot of respect when people cheat, you know. once a cheat always a cheat who you i know all people saying this of all people and joe and your best friend nathan was with somebody who was with arty but with somebody else so how is he not a cheater yeah so joe is the producer's like not to be too harsh which by the way be harsh producer but what about what happened with you and kizzy he's like yeah what um so uh you know even though I'm not with, hold on, I'm sorry, hold on, I'll go into the question.

39:47All right, I've got some, I've got some element, I've got some, hold on, hold on, okay, I can stick the landing, okay. Once upon a time there was, no, no, okay, knock, knock, who's there, infidelity? No, no, that's not how I should do it. What? Why did you shoot across the road? No, no, no, it's not across the road. Grandpappy! Okay, okay. So, okay, I've got some element of regret, but kissing Kizzy is not even the same realm. girl is a cheater but i'm actually a single man so how can you put me as a cheater it's very different for me no okay no not really because you were kissing that girl while she was crying and telling her there's no one else for you you're not interested in anybody else on the boat you're just going to be with her which kind of would make you her boyfriend so yeah you're a cheater yeah you're a cheater um you just tried to make plans with her after the the the charter season's done that is implying a certain level of commitment you're a cheater and a pumpkin eater so now um joe is complaining or josh is complaining about food press and preferences um and josh is like wow bro you're max you're the nicest person i've ever fucking met in my life i need a hard worker and he's like oh i appreciate that and he's like yeah you know see my problem is i think i'm a nice guy you know i just like women max is like uh-huh and it just doesn't work in my favor let me tell you what doesn't work in your favor the clowning the the clown makeup is the worst though like i came out with an album last year and here's my music video of me dressed as a clown singing it's all of it you're a cringy person sir i used to live on a commune here's the naked photo of me on the commune you know these things just sometimes like are a little bit of a turn off to the type of girls that we've seen come on um uh as stews on this on blow deck you know i just red flag when a guy says yeah girls don't like me because i'm just a nice guy and they just want assholes which is basically what he's saying and it's like no it's not the girl it's you okay watch the show back and tell me you're not cringing sir okay okay it's as simple as that and also just be yourself because who you're who you are is not this commune loving fucking hippie with clown makeup you're a psycho you you admitted to like you you you admitted to being the kind of person to grab your staff's head and shove it down on on the counter or a hot plate i think he got shoved on the hot plate but he shoved his other people down on the counter or something so you're a psycho so if you just go into that people will like you just be who you are just be you be you And by the way, what I was trying to say before about like the girls that come on below deck, it says I just feel like most people who would be interested in someone who lived on a commune and or someone who dabbles in the fine clownry arts just probably are not interested in also like working on a yacht.

42:42I feel like I feel like you're sort of like a counterculture kind of person who doesn't want to necessarily be part of a system that is serving, you know, the wealthy and the elite. So I just I don't know why I felt like I'd need to clarify that. I was like, guys, I don't want to offend Kizzy. Guys, I want to make sure. But, um, so back to Joe and Max not talking, and Joe is like, I feel like I got something special going on. And Max is like, oh yeah, like with me? He's like, yeah, I've just got like a mental block. He's like, oh, mental block. He's like, I go, no, you know, because between me and you.

43:15Well, I'm sorry, then Nathan tells Aisha that they kissed, and Aisha's, you know, basically like, you know, not surprised, but I am disappointed. and um and i think it was around here but maybe it was later it's probably multiple times where joe was like she's more of a relationship sort of girl i don't know if i'm ready yet it's like of course he's gonna say that of course he's gonna pull out that whole bullshit like oh she really wants to she really wants to go fast and i'm just i can't go fast like that because i'm not a cheater yeah he's been setting it up for that this whole season and here he is finally going up with his stupid plan and also nathan you don't have to say like joe's joe's the one to blame here joe's the big asshole in the situation but nathan what is nathan doing going around telling everybody his best friend's business he's not he's not a good friend either nathan you know he's like tattletaling to literally all the girls now about joe i mean joe deserves it i'm not standing up for joe i'm just saying that nathan's not really a good friend either like he's not a good boyfriend and he's not really a good friend either.

44:18So what's the point of this guy? And he's not really good at his job. Like, what the hell? It's also going to be actually more like, normally I wouldn't care but I think actually it's going to be more hurtful to V because there's a good chance that V will find out before like, before Joe has a conversation with her and on top of that there's like that embarrassing thing of like, everyone knows except for her. And so like, it doesn't have to be that way if Nathan just sits on it until it comes out. But now he's going to tell Aisha, it's just, it's going to get around and he's going to tell and he's already told um gail so it's just sort of shitty for v more so than anything else but anyway so nathan is saying well i mean it's also the time and because our fellows passing anniversary is coming up tomorrow and he's just like and her birthday god why can he just not keep it in his pants and then so um captain sandy's like oh hey everybody i don't know if you saw this wind is back on the air we are not leaving the dock okay i got 10 episodes to watch.

45:14We're staying here tonight. All right, normal person. Listen here. I'm sorry. I forgot your name. I'm just going to call you muffin top. It fits for anybody who really isn't on camera. So, okay. We're not leaving the boat. Relax. It's going to be a great, great episode of wind. I don't know if you heard about this, but John Larroquette is going to be a guest star. And I just, I've been a big Larroquette head ever since 1987. So this is just a huge night for me. can't wait oh so um let's see um yeah guests start coming and stuff and um joaquin is who's the gay in the tutu well he puts on the tutu later but he's like um i already found the team that i want to fuck and carlin's like who she's the blonde in the middle which is nathan and captain sandy's like okay all right well welcome to the motor yacht bravado unfortunately we are not departing the dock today okay but first thing in the morning we're going to check the weather and then we'll take off but you know what honestly you don't even want to leave the dock because the episode of wind that's happening tonight is it's going to knock your sacks off if the promos are to be believed and i believe them because they're always true jennifer aniston playing stormy daniels in wind get with it so it's the boat tour time and so they're going through the boat tour and the guests are just hilarious oh my god queenie wants to be saved by the blonde man he's like yes and then um joe and max are sliding down the stair rails feet first it's always fun and um you know asha's showing out showing them the hot tub and stuff and one of the guys like me you baby right here and he's like as long as you don't touch me under the water he goes what about above the water oh

47:09so Joaquin um they're basically just all like taking their big old big old tour going around and everything Joaquin's wearing like a captain's hat and he's like he's on a jet ski and he's like photo and um Captain Sandy's like hey Nathan are you wearing cologne is it cause your lass is on the boat he's like no It's Tiger Balm. Yeah. And by Tiger Balm, do you mean Obsession for Men by Calvin Klein? No, it's Tiger Balm. You mean Eternity by Calvin Klein? No, it's Tiger Balm. You mean White Diamonds traditionally for women, but you're changing standards and you're moving things around because why not?

47:48It's 2025, huh? No, it's just Tiger Balm. Yeah, I've never heard of someone wearing Tiger Balm as cologne. Although Norma does wear Preparation H behind her ears.

48:02god bless her god bless her her ears had never looked better though so gail's they're cleaning and more cleaning and the rain is gonna come and um and so basically gail is like we should go check that deck to uh see if it's clean and maxi hey it's nice it's clean it's raining so of course it's clean she's like i know but it's still my first day still trying to be a good girl you know and um but of course max don't just want to slack off and like put his feet up because his whole thing is that he's tired this episode yeah and so let's see so gail is saying um day one i was so stoked to come see you guys nathan especially asia and he's like oh really what about me thanks fucking hell so then max is muttering to himself on the deck he's like oh you do you pay me for these fuck me over?

48:52So he gets too relaxed with his girlfriend on the dock and what do I do? Look at me, so professional. I just came down the stairs on the wedding with my feet. But okay, I'm not president. I'm fine. Guillotine. Guillotine! Hey everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Alison King It's always a party on Alison Block Our way is the Amber way It's the Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster It's always automatic with Ashley Otto Put your hands together for Carly Clap Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt We never miss her call, it's Diane Call Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less Hava Nagila Weber You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie She has no less namey She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B K-sura-sura, whatever we'll be with Lauren Sillsby She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry Megan Berg You can't have a burger without the Berg This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian I love a ya Olivia Williamson She sure is swell It's Raquel Yes we canna It's Sadana Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy It's Tippi And our super premium sponsors Make way for AJ Lopez She's VVIP, it's Amanda V.

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