#3163 Vanderpump Rules S12E06: Pump & Dump

0:20Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crabbens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hello, Ronnie. How are you? How are you doing, baby? What's going on today? Everything going great? Yeah, I'm like really excited. We just got nominated for an iHeart Award. Yeah, party. How cool. Thank you, everyone. Yeah, thank you, iHeart. That's super exciting. Also, the crappies are coming up February 27th here in Los Angeles. The glorious Los Angeles. Those are our yearly Bravo Awards shows. Many times imitated, but never replicated. So come see us. We would love to see you guys. It's going to be a stall-studded evening.

1:08We're going to have great times, great laughs, new friends, old friends. You know what? We're all together. We're all going to be together. We're all going to be laughing at the same shit. So come. It's going to be so fun. It's an excuse to dress up and party with other Bravo people. and you will get more information just on our socials. Go to Instagram, look up watchupcrappance.com and follow us there. That's where you find a lot of our stuff. Also, it's where you find a link to our Patreon. Our Patreon is where you get bonus episodes. We are covering the traders right now on bonus episodes and we are also doing videos every day for Crappance On Demand.

1:44Those are also on Patreon as well as our new and improved ad-free feed for all episodes ad-free. Join us for that. And that's that. Eh? That's that. Eh, Ben? Eh, Ben? Eh? Eh? That is that. What you say about it? What you got to say about it, Ben? Today is Vanderpump Pump Rules. They're putting the pump in Vanderpump today. It's actually about a penis pump. Yep. It's a big penis pump drama. This episode was so funny to me. I was so deeply entertained. I loved how petty it was. I loved seeing the spirit of Sheena arriving in Angelica's body. That was great. And I don't know, I'm like really enjoying this Vanderpump Rules.

2:29And it makes me sad to know that there are a lot of people who are like, not even watching it, not even paying attention to it. And I just feel like life is so hard right now. Things are terrible in the world at the moment. And this is sort of like a really joyful bit of stupidity. And for people who may be on the fence, I say give it a shot because I was cracking the fuck up at this episode. What about you? What'd you think? Well, life is a lot harder right now than Shane's penis. We all know it's true. You know, and I think that we should all be watching the show. It's a good show. And you know what?

3:05I feel like I'm proselytizing all the time and I'm just going to stop. You guys do whatever you want. I mean, people listening to this might be watching it, so I'm not yelling at you. I'm just saying, you know, people are going to do what they want. They're going to make their choices. There's a lot of choices being made right now in this country I don't like, but they're being made, and I'm just going along. So you guys do what you're going to do. You know what? Deny joy. If you want to deny joy, deny it. But I'm enjoying it. I hope they give this show another chance at the network because it's not looking good.

3:32I mean, it's like 180 ,000 viewers. That is bad. That is worse than watch what crap happens. Watch what happens, sorry. And watch what crap happens, actually. But that's bad. so um i hope they get another chance and let this show blossom because i believe it will it's already so good and it's only episode six and most shows take a whole season to warm up this is already warm it's already warm we've already got a guy this shane guy is such a trip i can't believe all this stuff he just comes on in bears on tv today and still makes it funny somehow and uh i mean i i love it but that's it i don't need to says yeah at one point i like had i just i had detects Ronnie, like a Shane Davis quote.

4:13He goes, me personally, I could never be embarrassed by a penis pump because I got shot. So I have erectile dysfunction. I have to take Viagra. And I don't know, for me, that's just life. Like to me, that's just like, oh my God, this show is actually so good that someone would actually say that. Like I got shot, so I have to take Viagra, but hey, that's just life, man. It's life, it's life, man. So here we are, Vanderpump Rules season 12, episode six pump fiction we are at venus's apartment in winnetka where's winnetka that is like deep in the valley somewhere like i don't it's like one of those places i've heard of in the valley but i actually don't know where it is winnetka los angeles where is it it's like are we gonna look it up yeah i need to look it up that far away that's far no and i live in the valley but i'm new so um oh wow okay oh that's when it's by canoga park that's far as fun i mean that's 12 that's 12 that's half an hour from me so that means he's like an hour away at least from work the 405 that's hard it's like it's past recita it's like west of recita it's west of northridge east of Canoga Park, north of Tarzana.

5:29To me, that's just like a foreign land. Yeah, it's far away. I wonder what their home goods is like. It's just like whenever I see people going to Paris, that's my first question. I wonder what their home goods is like. He's at Winnetka, the glamorous world of Winnetka. He's like, after 24 hours of being around all my friends, what are your thoughts, sister Savannah? Savannah's like, well, my hair is healthier than yours, you know? She goes, but also my other thought is, what the fuck? And he's like, yeah, I'm telling you, girl. I'm telling you. Hair flick, hair flick. Hair flick, hair flick. And then we go to Natalie's apartment in Westwood and she's putting on makeup and she is trying to find out, wait a second, who's working?

6:13And she looks and we see that Demi, Demi's on duty, as manager on duty. She's like, say a prayer on the way there. Oh my God. Yeah. And then the boys are all getting ready for work and um jason's like yeah ball's energy and then marcus is flexing in the in the mirror he's like lifting his arms over his head and flexing he's like yeah oh yeah good yeah photo shoot mode yeah buddy but we also see that jason takes over an hour to get ready he starts putting his hands in his hair and he starts like moving around the little tufts that are like intentionally messy it's like very again it's like very 2005 kind of like fallout boy hoopa stank kind of looking hair and he's like making it just so he's putting on all his moisturizer and it's going on and on and on for like an hour and 10 minutes just for him to come out of the bathroom looking exactly as he did when he came in yep and um lisa is arriving at tomatoma it's a photography day It's another day for photography.

7:18And the photographer asks her if she's gonna model. She's like, me, I'm not getting undressed. Those days are over. That magic is gone. Wait a minute. I'm in another pussybow. What do you think about that? I'm telling you my real vulnerability, boys. We knocked out the Sir yearly photo shoot just a few weeks ago. But we have a lot of merchandise at TomTom and at Sir. And the internet craves it. so now we need to do a little shoot for the merchandise my staff is bloody gorgeous and also the very best bartenders of all los angeles so what's the point of hiring them if i can't put them to work yeah i don't i don't know that that's going to really sell it but and also that merch is kind of ugly i mean it's like all glittery they've gone over the top of the glitter for the tom tom I get that we're going for like Tom Sandoval's kind of band, bro.

8:15Yeah, man band. But it's a little much. So Marcus shows up. You know, everybody just shows up and talks about how they're modeling. Even Shane comes. He's like, hey, good to see you. He's like, are you here to help us out, Shane Davis? He's like, oh, yeah, I'm donating my cheekbones in my jaw right now.

8:36Oh, well, that's very generous of you. Thank you for sharing. Now give me your soul. So then Marcus is like, hey, are you chewing gum? He's like, oh, yeah, let me ship it that out. I mean, I just want my jaw nice and prepared for you guys. Like Shane Davis is always chewing gum. He's definitely like he's in like the Henry Winkler, like Fonz style being like, here I am. Chewing. I'm a model with a leather coat. Yeah, man. Yeah, get my jaw ready. Get my jaw nice and ready for you guys. She's like, all right, come on, let's go. I've got other problems to sort out. And here she comes. And it's Audrey.

9:14Audrey's there as well. Yeah, they're just all showing up to do the shoot. Who cares? So Audrey's like, well, Lisa, we did have a little party last night. She goes, oh, really? Well, you were here last night, were you? As if I hadn't heard what happened. I didn't hear good reports. Tell me, tell me. Close your eyes and take me back to a time. smoke appearing in front of you tentacles behind me tell me everything so we cut to 20 minutes earlier logan is like well some of the sir kids were in here last night and they were pretty drunk and they were dancing on tables and crying and screaming at each other and they ripped one of the mirrors off the wall and then we see footage security footage from tom tom of someone dancing on the couch and knocking over a small mirror.

10:05You say, who the fuck do they think they are? Do you know that that mirror was placed there by the maestro himself, Nicolene? Who is going to tell me I'm the fairest of them all when there's no mirror mirror on the wall? Someone will pay for this! And Bobby's like, oh, that was my friend who did it. That was my friend. Oh, your friend. Well, get her in here. It's time for a little stem cell surgery. Yeah, let's name names, Audrey. We all know it was Mary Faith, okay? It was Mary Faith. And you're just covering for her because you're getting to use her horse, but we know it's Mary Faith. My throat's dropping into my vagina.

10:45I don't want to go to British jail. Please. Please don't take me to British jail. You're going to British jail whether you like it or not. Now please, put on this furry cap and riding pants and send yourself off. Tell me more. Tell me more. Then what happened? We all thought it was over. It's like, close your eyes again. Smoke is filling your head. Tell me. Tell me everything that happened with this. Mary Faith. And she's like, and then people shouting, screaming, crying. Go on. Then to me and Natalie, they were, what were they doing? What were they doing? Were they shaking hands? Making a business deal.

11:24This restaurant is all about business, business, business. No, they were fighting. Oh, fight for God's sake. One of my managers fighting. Come on, spit it out, Audrey. Do you want a life behind bars eating nothing but mushy peas and soggy fish and chips? Come on, tell all. Okay, well, it was Demi. Demi and Natalie. And we see this cell phone footage. And Natalie's just sitting at the bar with her bored face. Like, just, you would not know she was at a bar. She looks like she's just watching TV. And then Natalie comes over and puts her arm on her shoulder. and Demi loses her mind out of nowhere.

11:59She goes from just being blank-faced to be like, don't fucking touch me! I was like, see? These kids are crazy. I'm so proud of Bravo. These are kids on their off time who are screaming at each other. They're not just screaming for us on TV. Yeah, they're working in their off hours. And Demi's like, does anybody even want Natalie McGuire here? No, didn't think so. No hands were raised. So then Angelica comes in and Chris is like, what's up, Mama Pump? You're looking hot today in purple. Oh, I'll tell you what, this is not gonna fly with me. Someone will pay for the destruction and the fighting.

12:38So, um, Angelica comes in and she's like, oh, my back. Oh, my God. Like, after you form a connection with the guy and the next time you see him, you don't necessarily know how it's gonna go, but the connection with me and Shane, it's real. It's real. Basically because like, he hugs her hello. Like, hey, sweetheart and she's like oh my god he like loves me so the producer's like is she giving you butterflies shane ah i mean she might be but i can't really shake that out loud i can't be like oh my god there was like butterflies like oh fuck no no those aren't butterflies those are just the bullets that are still stuck in my stomach yeah it's called serotonin and oxytocin receptors and and just like a little bit of mac and cheese from last night oh my god they're acting up

13:27so marcus sees angelica and uh he's like how are you and she's like oh long morning i had to get x-rays yeah because like that jason jiu-jitsu stuff and he's like oh shit you're lying she's like no like actually like i'm getting scared now because like every time i fucking stand bro my lower back feels like it's getting electrocuted and so she starts crying and he's like wow that's a really shit date geez this is where the spirit of shina comes through because you know it's so funny because I've been really on Angelica's side the whole season. I think that Jason has been shitty to her as someone trying to court her and he's been playing games with her.

14:01And this is the episode where we get to see, as per the tradition of Annapur rules, that this is a lazy Susan of awfulness. And guess what? Her dish has just arrived in front of me. And so this is Angelica's episode where she's revealed to be also just terrible and crazy. And so now she's crying about this x-ray situation. Well, he did slam her around. He did slam her around. But like this was like such a fake cry. She's like, I'm really worried. I'm really, really worried. I'm like, okay. Okay. You're getting some mileage out of this one. Yeah. I'm still team Angelica right now because who'd like take somebody on a date and then slams them around on their day and then gets on top of them.

14:42It's like, by the way, I've been lying to you. You want to make out like what an idiot. It just sucks that it keeps on hurting. Like I got a great this morning. And I was just like, oh my God, you had an MRI this morning.

14:55so i was just like and chris hears it and he's like oh geez chris hears it he goes oh my god this one jesus uh because that's his cousin you're talking to matt and he's gonna stand for his bro they just jerked off together for a mother's day promo you're not gonna stand between them so back at tom tom audrey's like i'm so sorry and chris is like i mean is it hurting right now because I don't know. She goes, yeah, it is hurting. And he's like, yeah, this might be the biggest cry for attention I've ever seen in all 31 years of my life. I thought the cry for attention was you getting naked on the internet to get some money, but that's okay.

15:31I know you were just standing there in a leopard print speedo. You're an actor. You're an aspiring actor. You cannot complain about people crying for attention. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

15:47So Lisa comes and just, what's wrong? I, hold on, I smell something. Is that the smell of a mirror that's been taken off the wall? No, it's something sweeter, more pungent, more beautiful, more delicious. It's the smell of a broken bird, a literal broken bird. Oh, Angelica, do you have a broken back? You look like a pretzel. What's wrong with you? Darling, darling, please, please stop crying until I've got this chalice under your face. Okay, continue crying. So I can collect the tears. Oh, I did jujitsu with Jason. I'm like, I'm really hurt. He slammed me on the ground maybe like 12 times and he broke my back.

16:22Okay, so he broke my back and I broke his heart. That's what happened. Oh, tell me more. And Chris is like, yeah, breaking his heart's a little crazy. Oh, but you guys weren't together, right? Cry about it more. Cry into this cup. No, we weren't. I just have the ick. And like, you know, as a woman, I just get the ick and you just like repulse by someone, you know? Darling, it's called marriage. Get it?

16:49So Chris is getting mad that Angelica's talking shit about Jason to Lisa. And so he's like, he's getting himself into a frenzy. Even Lisa gets kind of mad because she's like, excuse me, repulsed about a man? You're repulsed by a man on this show? No, you're only repulsed by their hotness, their handsomeness, their attractiveness, their ability to sell Tom Tom merchandise. Rephrase. I demand a rephrase. What has he done to repulse you? Well, that's the right word. I mean, that's the right word, though. Like, he got an OnlyFans and he uses a penis pump. Do you know what that is? His what? A penis what?

17:27Penis pump. Teenie? A penis pump teeny? No, just a penis pump. Vanda. Vanda. Pump. Penis pump. Don't understand. get branding on the phone get chef petty in here someone has stolen pump so audrey's like did that actually come out of her mouth you're telling lisa vanderpump about the penis pump like what are you doing and how do we get from your back is hurting to penis pump with the span in the span of like five seconds well lisa's asking her that's how and she's like oh my god like i I think a penis pump is for like a man to get like an erection. Lisa's like, oh, do I need this? Listen, the best thing to ever happen to a woman is a man not being able to have an erection.

18:15Why are we trying to fix things that don't need to be fixed? There's a pothole outside. Can we fix that? Can we get a pothole pump? Penis pumps. And now I've heard everything. I thought that when you're 20 something years old, you don't really need something to make it go up. You need something to make it go down. If you want to make things go down in my house, all you need is a new Bentley. Am I right? So Angelica's like, oh my God, now I'm just spilling all the beans. I'm like, so sorry. Where is he now? Where is he? I love a little broken penised bird. Send him over here. And so she's saying, it's probably hiding, whatever.

19:01So then over at Sir Jason Serving Tables, and I love how like whenever Jason talks, he does sort of sound like he's in the talking part of a porno, right? He's like, hey, let me get my pad real quick. My memory's shot today. It's like, no, let me show you my pad, which is my pussy. You know, but like he always sounds like he's like the delivery man that just showed up with the pizza or the plumber or the guy who's just like tired from like a jog who like ran into his friend. You know, he always talks in that canned way. yeah um so uh kim comes in saying it's just like a dark cloud and so natalie is bartending and um she's like oh my god what do you think about my drink that i'm making how gorgeous is this and venus is asking her what it is she's like yeah it's a drink that i'm creating it's gonna be like a lavender french 75 and i bought edible glitter for it like it's not great people are literally gonna shit glitter after they they have my drink and then demi comes in um venus will you please check your section, please.

20:02So over at TomTom, Lisa's like, oh, well, not Shane, not in that. You want to wear that apron over your shirtless chest that says Shag the Chef? Oh, it's so naughty. And Chris wants one, too. And so she's going to find them another. And so Chris is like, oh, yeah, I got to get a little pump in there, huh? Get a little pump in there, am I right? So Marcus is doing push-ups in his apron, which is, you know, great. I encourage that. And Lisa's like, oh, for God's sake, I think you've got enough of that, guys. All right, you don't need to do a thing. Just pose in front of the camera. You're fine. You're perfection.

20:44So then Shane starts doing the push-ups too. I mean, these guys. And then Audrey corners Angelica. And she's like, hey, why did you tell Lisa about the penis pump? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm like, sorry. because like i'm like you want me to say why i don't like him and like let me list all the reasons and be like super honest because like that's what i am i'm like super honest oh my god you just like wanted to know yeah well that wasn't really cool of you because now she knows just yeah but i don't see anything wrong with it i mean what's wrong with it so now we see people taking photographs and looking sexy in the merchandise.

21:22Ooh. And then as they pose, Angelica goes, okay, everybody say penis pump. And Audrey just gets all pissed off. She's like, I feel like Angelica's using what I told her about Jason and weaponizing it to embarrass Jason. Well, yeah. She is. But, you know, like, you're like the guy at the gun store mad, you know, after a shooting. Stop selling the guns. You did it. This is on you. so back people don't kill people penis pumps kill people yeah exactly angelica is like going to shane she goes did you know about it shane did you know about the penis pump and shane's like well who is he like oshton powers yeah jason has a penis pump jason has a penis pump he's like who jason she goes yeah yes and audrey's like she needs to go back to whatever school she got her degree from and ask for a money back and then use that money for therapy.

22:21Good one. She's like, sorry, I was trying to manifest an ending to that burn. I couldn't quite get there. Season one burn, season one burn. So Chris is like, whoa, yo, Angelica, what's all this penis pump talk? She's like, I know, I'm sorry. He goes, yeah, I don't think you're sorry. Yeah, well, okay, well, I'm sorry that's something I can't stop saying because it's right here, like right on my mind. So like, I'm sorry, I keep talking about it. Penis pump, penis pump. So this girl, Veronique is like, did you know he used a penis pump? And Chris is like, I mean, I've got a penis pump. I mean, it's temporary and it's better for sexual satisfaction too.

22:56I mean, look, I use a penis pump because I'm on OnlyFans to deliver. And you don't go to a steakhouse and order a plain burger. You want something thick and juicy and a little intimidating. You know, athlete stretch, I pump. We all have a routine. I was like, okay, you're not the Michael Jordan of OnlyFans. yeah he's like it's called dedication so Chris is like you know you're really talking loud about it okay Angelica and there's like other people here so I think that's like a little disrespectful and like zooms in on like someone listening like just a regular person eating food like they're talking about penis pumps well Jason's good people you know she was just fucking around guys Angelica's like well it didn't have to be yours it was just in your house why are you taking ownership for the penis pump i mean jason needs more self-awareness like obviously me being 100 pounds he shouldn't have thrown me in that way and obviously he hit his penis pump we wouldn't be talking about it right now with broken backs this is a i mean look i mean this is a pretty um this is a it's a tight case that she's got here right i mean like if he had just hidden the penis pump from someone else who was not me then she wouldn't have found it and told me about it and then me with my broken back i wouldn't have gossiped about it because my back was broken which as we all know there's a direct link between a broken back and gossiping about penis pumps.

24:12So it's really, yeah, I like how she just meshes it all together. She's like, you break my back, I talk about your penis pump. That's it. That's it. And he's like, well, I don't know. You seem pretty fine to me right now. You were dancing last night. Didn't seem like your back hurt last night. And she's like, I was sitting. So then we see a flashback of her dancing. I mean, she wasn't doing like the splits, you know what I mean? But she was, you know, she was dancing. I don't think we, neither of us deny that the that she was that she is in pain because we did we did and do still think it's fucked up because he did really thwack her down on the mat doing his martial arts instead of hers and that was too much and then had the the the balls to say by the way i'm talking to other people too so like you know and you're like you know pain comes and goes you may have taken some Tylenol or something like that it's not up to us to police it um i feel like i'm working towards a butt but i actually don't remember what the butt is so i'll just leave it at that I feel like you're worried about offending people who hurt their backs.

25:12I'm not really sure. No, I actually don't have a butt. I'm just like, she's allowed to be in pain. Oh, what I was going to say, though, is, but she really is going on a victory lap with this. Like, she's, I mean, the penis bump thing. I mean, look, I support her being messy about Jason. I think Jason is a dipshit, and I think that he does play games. But, like, she's being messy but then won't stand in her mess, and she's also kind of, like, sanctimonious, too. I kind of want her to choose one of them. I think she's standing in it. She's saying, yeah, I'm saying you have a penis pump because you have a penis pump.

25:40I like that she's not backing down. She's like, yeah, you have a penis pump. Who cares? But later on, though, she's trying to take more of a virtuous thing back. When she says, well, he should have hit it if he didn't want it to be seen, it's like, I understand you're upset about your back. But you should either just say, yeah, I want from her to say he has a penis pump, and I don't care if I'm shaming him for the penis pump because that's what he gets for hurting my back. I just want her to say that instead of being like, well, he should have hit it. If he didn't hide it, it would have been okay.

26:12Just stand in your pettiness or just don't be petty at all. I think that's what I am getting to. Yeah, I guess there's just not enough precedence of penis pump fights to really know what to grab. It's like, what's fair? What's fair here? But Chris denying her back is weird because your cousin was throwing her around on a date and threw her on the floor a million times. So you don't have a leg to stand on either. Yeah, you're allowed to be in more pain in certain situations than on others. She's had a whole night's sleep and she could have slept wrongly on it. And now she's hurting more today than yesterday.

26:48So Shane's trying to be a middleman. And he's like, well, she was sitting most of the night. But, you know, there's not a bad guy here. Like Jason for sure wasn't attempting to hurt you back. Okay. And Chris is like, yeah, you didn't have harmful intentions. You're just reaming him out a little bit too much right now. And you know what, if anyone's going to ream Jason, it's going to be me. And we're going to get paid big fucking money for it. So I don't appreciate it because that's my cousin and he swallows. And you're just being a little disrespectful and you're talking all of this shit. You know what?

27:16Talk shit after you've had this man's balls in your mouth. I would never. I would never. So then Angelica's like, well, I know it's information from your girl. Which is, Audrey's like, so out of context. It's so out of context. because the original context was I saw a penis pump and then you used it by saying that I saw a penis pump. And that's like a totally different context than me seeing a penis pump. This is making me so upset. Like she lost all my trots. I was the one who opened up the count of worms, but I didn't know the worms were going to turn into snakes and then the snakes were going to bite me and then someone was going to take the snake and try to fish with them and then fish weren't going to catch them because they're fishing with snakes.

27:56Why don't you fish with worms? Go back to school. Audrey, literally the point of a penis pump is to turn the worm into a snake. so get with it Chris and a snake into an anaconda and an anaconda into a bus he's like yo this is private shit Angelica oh it's private like you guys have an OnlyFans that everything can click on like you share your dick to the whole general public which is like she's basically saying because you have an OnlyFans I can talk about all your shit in your house which is not really true but at the same time I do appreciate that these guys are getting shit because while I think that she's being incredibly messy and I don't like her delivery of it I want her to be standing in her pettiness more I do think that Chris and Jason are garbage and so I appreciate how annoyed they are right now I really like that he's like well I wouldn't say Angela is a fucking dildo she goes well whoever will subscribe and now you're like upset about a penis pump like really be fucking for real though okay You are taking this too far.

29:00You are a fake bitch. Whoa, sir. We're talking to women like this in 2025? What the fuck, man? That's not a good sign. It's episode six. We're supposed to find out about what a misogynist you are in season two and a half. Okay? Give it some time. So now they're all mad. She's like, I'm not fake. And then she's like, guys, guys, guys, relax, relax, okay? Don't pull out any guns right now. Come on, guys. So then we go over to Sir and Venus is like his table doesn't have the cocktails. And I was like, what are you talking about? Like, I swear to God, that order never came in. I swear on my life. So then this is just a very this is such a Vanderpump order, though.

29:43He's like, yeah, my drinks didn't come in. OK, it's a pineapple mimosa, a glass of Prosecco and a Hugo Spritz. I don't know what a Hugo Spritz is, but I know I hate it. I lose respect for anyone who gets a Hugo Spritz. Hugo Spritz too. A Hugo Spritz and a pineapple mimosa. That's a very pump order. So Natalie's like, oh, that never came in. Never saw it. So then we see Demi here. And she's like.

30:10So then Kim is looking at something that's a BLT with an Aeoli side. And Jason's clearly confused by it. And she's like, what are you confused about? He's like, I just can't find it. I've never done brunch before. I don't know how to enter in BLT with an aioli side into the machine. She's like, everyone's just like rolling their eyes and angry at sir. You guys go to your sections. Lisa just walked in, please smoke bomb alert, smoke bomb alert. Lisa's like, Oh, one minute. It was a carpet. And then I was standing on it. Look at that to me. I need to talk to you. You too, Natalie, not you, Natalie, you Natalie, get over here.

30:53Rascals. I need one of you to get into this box and I'm going to have Guillermo saw you in half. Are you ready? Um, okay, never mind, never mind. Alright, what's going on? Arguing and screaming and arguing and being in the presence of mirrors falling off the walls, Tom Tom, it's not right. Let me tell you my morning. I went over to Tom Tom and I looked at the wall and I said, wall, wall, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? And the wall said, I can't see you. I'm a wall. What happened to the mirror in Trom-Tom? I don't feel secure about this situation, much like the painting feels about being on the wall.

31:33Insecured. So don't deny it. Whatever you will say, whatever you want to say, say it now, and then we have time to move on. So say it now, say it loud, say it proud, and get it out, because after tonight, you shall never have a voice again. Okay, Lisa. So I decided last night I was done with the friendship with Natalie Because I just can't do this friendship anymore I can't do it Yeah but I literally don't even know what the problem is with her Like who doesn't want to have a friendship with me Like seriously what Well that's your problem if you don't understand why I don't like you Because look at my face I don't like anyone Yeah my problems with Natalie Did not happen overnight I've like had issues with her For like the last few weeks now And you know what four weeks you're done Like you're toast it's over Three weeks is fine.

32:21You can have another chance. Four weeks done. Yeah, montage of us fighting now. Fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting. Why? Why? Fighting, fighting. You're the worst. Fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting. Back to the interview. So, yeah, like, I'm so mad. And Demi's like, I'm at a point where I just, like, I cannot have a friendship like this. Well, can you not look at it from my point of view? A wealthy person using poor people to make television. that you're exploding, you just keep going round and round in circles, but off camera. If you're going to do this, do it on camera. This is the problem here.

32:57We're trying to do a reboot. America doesn't like us yet. You must do drama on television, not off of television. Please see it from my point of view. Me looking down at two little ladies with scarves on their heads standing in a cheese line, fighting over cheese. You're both going to get your cheese, Paws You're both going to get your cheese Do we understand where I'm coming from? Have you ever heard of a man named Cedric? No That's the point Do your job or be never heard from again

33:34Disappear into the French sewers like that little queen did So Natalie's like Well, I don't even know what you're talking about like a picture being on the wall? Like, what's up with that? Like, I had nothing to do with the picture off the wall. Okay, listen, it's all a big deal, okay? You're still in my bar. So whether it was a picture or whether it was me or you're in my bar, you're fighting, you're taking pictures off the wall. Stop it. The fact that we're having to sit down about a picture that fell off a wall is so funny. That picture, do you not understand that Taylor Armstrong's party planner made that for me?

34:12It stays on the wall. I hate excuses, especially from my managers. When I hear an excuse from one of my managers, I want it to be about why they're fucking one of the staff members who are 30 years their junior, not about petty things like mirrors falling off of walls. It makes me so angry. It makes me want to grab a mirror off a wall, throw it at your face, and put it right back on the wall where it belongs. Yeah, I agree, Lisa. I agree. Yeah, because neither one of you are winning in this equation right now. Now at the end of the day, you're both girls who work at Sir. No one wins. Picture knockovers.

34:49By the way, we don't know if it's a picture or a mirror because Lisa says it's a mirror, but then Audrey said it was a picture. Something sounds like someone was framed. Get it. It was a mirror, but in a certain anger, it's a picture of a perfect woman.

35:10Well, of course, a perfect woman stands right in front of it. And that perfect woman is Rocio. Surprise! So Natalie is like, Almost every time I see Demi, I have no idea if she wants to make up or if she wants nothing to do with me. And that's how I felt every day growing up in my house. My mom used to tell me, I love you, but I don't like you. And the reality is, I do not have a relationship with my mother. And I had an extremely toxic childhood. And when I saw Demi, I was like, she could be my mother. and then she doesn't want to be my mother. And when I try to suckle at her teeth, she says, please stop doing that.

35:41Please serve this pumptini instead. And I said, but you're rejecting me all over again, mother. And she says, stop calling me mother. And it's like really fucked up for me. Commercials, here comes one right now.

35:55You know, one of the funny things about recapping Vanderpump Rules 13 years later with like a new cast is that the first go around when people would be like, oh my god my mom hated me and she said like i don't want a relationship with you and we'd be siding with the waiter but all these years later like i get what your mom is feeling like i can't like i see you on tv i see you on tv like i'm on the mom's side yeah i mean that's how i feel about all the broad celebrities i love you i don't like you okay yeah like i'm on the i'm on the parent's side these days the best part about recapping vanderpump rules is all the shit that you forget about that was just on the episode you saw last night because i came away from that episode being like oh my god this whole stupid thing about the penis pump and that became a whole big drama and they were fighting back and forth about penis pump this is so funny and then as you go through it again you're like oh and we have a whole scene dedicated to lisa reprimanding two women because a picture fell off a wall or a mirror fell off a wall like this is the kind of like petty stupid bullshit that i just live for well i've worked here for two years lisa and this is my family this is my family and they're all telling me that they hate me and they want nothing to do with me natalie it's your figurative family it's your literal family at some point you've got to look in the mirror on the ground and say who's the problem here yeah seriously so back up over at pump audrey chris marcus and shane leave and she's like hey how's it how's fucking kimberly going doing bro what's going on with that Oh, so strong, dude.

37:30So strong, bro. After my gig, you know, like after my DJ gig, I think it's the strongest point in our relationship. I wore Ray-Bans. I mean, that turned it around. That turned it around. Hey, bro, hit me with a flashback of your love, okay, bro? And we see a flashback of him being like, babe, this relationship and you, it's like the most important thing for me. Like, I'd like to re-ask you to be my girlfriend for another 10 months by wrapping this french fry around your ring finger oh my god oh my god but like definitely not for like another 10 years okay like 10 years is too long to be just girlfriend okay you want to be together forever and she's like yeah i love you baby i love you yes so we come back to the present and kim's like hey babe how'd it go i was like oh it's so good it was fun we did a photo shoot like we're just wearing hoodies and shit it's like the life of a dj you You know how it goes.

38:25And then we see Audrey and Chris at the other side of the bar. And Jason goes up to Audrey. He's like, hey, are you okay? And she's like, oh, my God, you're going to hear about it. I'm going to die. I'm going to die right now. And Chris is like, oh, yeah, you missed a lot. It's like, really? What's it about? Please tell me. I'd love to know. Yeah, so you know what I told you about yesterday? And we see a flashback of her being like, yeah, so I had coffee with Angelica. I told her a funny story about how it was when I was over and I took a shower. and he goes, oh shit, you saw the dick pump and all that shit.

38:53Did you see the rubber ass? Bro, yeah! You saw the rubber ass. So then Chris is like, yeah, pretty much Angelica made a fucking fool out of herself. She was like really like fucking screaming out like penis pump like all fucking day. He's like, that's weird. Yeah. I thought she was like clowning because like I mean, at least she brought up the dick and like the dick pump and I was like, oh man, I was like, you know, I got directile dysfunction. I was shot, man. And like I got Viagra for days, you know? So look, I think that she's just got to be able to explain herself. That's it, bro. And they just kind of look at him like, oh, okay.

39:28That was a lot to just throw in there casually. And he's like, yeah, me personally, I can never be embarrassed about a penis pump because I got shot, so I have erectile dysfunction. I have to take Viagra. For me, that's just life. Just life, man. Just life, man. That's why it's got multiple girls lining up because I think viagra you take it and it just stays up for like hours you know and i remember i was it it was either erica on beverly hills or someone in my life like that i don't remember where i even heard this but someone said yeah the worst thing to ever happen to men to women was viagra in this town because you know you like marry an old guy and you just it's like awesome he's old i'll never have to fuck him like he's not gonna get it up and now they're just up all the time so you've got this troll on you all night long to get that money.

40:19It's like a hard, it's a harder job. It's a harder job. Yeah, yeah, it really is hard. Literally. So Shane's like, hey, Angelica, could you go talk to Jason? And she's like, um, I don't really want to. He's like, I just feel like I'm caught in the middle of Jason and Chris. They're my boys, you know? And like, Angelica, you know, I actually have like really good connection with her. Like, I'll be a big girl, I guess. So she comes up to me he's like how are you it's like well i've been better like physically and i'm sorry if i hurt you with my joke but like my back is broken and he goes do you want to talk in private it's like about no we're like talking in public because like you guys were like talking about me right next to me so chris is like um i think that's a one-on-one conversation and jason's like yeah because they all came up to me just to tell me what happened and i'm here listening so dot dot okay well let's be honest like it started when i was talking to lisa because i was like crying and my back was hurting and she's like why are you crying and then it just came out it was like we're diarrhea because like i'm going through a lot and it made me laugh i mean it's a penis bump it's crazy right it's like crazy yeah so you see the customer like has anybody seen our server yeah especially like while i'm going through other things right now that are more like detrimental to my house and my mental state.

41:38He goes, what's that? My back, my back, bro. It's like serious. Like you don't think it's serious. I mean, I'm not coming at you. Like, why are you coming at me? Because I had to learn how to play the piano with one foot. That's why. In the kitchen, we see the chefs. They're like, oh man, the new girl is saying something about a penis bump. You're acting like I'm telling you repeatedly. It's a serious thing. I'm not acting. He's like, are you okay? No I'm not okay What are you not hearing I'm not okay I could use some food I could use another drink Where's our waiter Yeah well why don't we like talk later about it Cause like I gotta check on my tables right now And then if you wanna have a conversation with me Like maybe we could have a conversation about it later Um you're kind of an asshole Right now cause I'm telling you You hurt my back and you can't even apologize I already said I'm sorry Like I said I'm sorry about it yesterday Like if your back still hurts today ask it to go back to yesterday And get the sorry jason has like a nice guy persona but like when you first meet him he's like super charming and he's like kind but then like once you start to get to know him he like does a suplex on you and it's like not nice he's like not up front you downplayed it you like downplayed it right now okay like when you're gaslighting me and that's your favorite thing to do like gaslighter your favorite things to do are like back break people and gaslight them i but like why would i pour gas on a light i gotta check on my tables okay then check check them i will and by the way your apology was shit oh my god he's like okay guys um i'm back i heard you ask for your check so marcus picks up shane outside of his apartment and um this is like a deep guy scene it's like a deep bro scene which i've needed and it's very vanderpump rules where it's like bro bro you nervous?

43:30Yeah, bro. I'm nervous, bro. You know what we should do? We should go like go where I go when I'm like in LA and I just need like a break. Let's just stop right here on the side of this road in front of this house. Okay. Oh, I'm so glad we're doing this. I'm so glad we're doing this because I'm showing an unfinished short film at a, on the rooftop of a restaurant next to the target. I just, I'm so nervous about how it's going to turn out. So I really need this moment. Thanks for taking me to your lookout spot. What's the Formosa Film Festival? Is that like at the Formosa Cafe? Is that where they were?

44:01They really go to the Formosa Cafe. I guess they just showed, I mean, it's clear they show some films at the Formosa Cafe. Guys, welcome to the Tender Greens Film Festival. You got the Palm de Cilantro. I personally am really excited to go enter a short film into the Piquito Moss Short Film Festival. Guys, there are five films that have been nominated tonight and the winner is French Fries. Okay. Thank you for coming to the Formos Film Festival. Actually, I did forget to mention that I did enter something into a film festival once and I am the proud first place winner of the short film of the year from the Egg Slut Film Festival, everyone.

44:50Comes with a complimentary bun. Thank you, everyone. Yeah, I was in a short film festival a few years ago in Austin it was like a big moment for me it was huge i get it i mean i get it one of the most horrifying things to sit through by the way um it's a short film festival the worst it was terrible it was two and a half hours of pure hell you would think a five minute movie would be like oh it'll be five minutes and it's over those things feel like they are six hours long each time when they come up and it's always just the same stuff over and over and over again it is a nightmare to watch those things oh my god yeah so he's got a he's got a short guys and um shane's like yeah it's nice to premiere my latest short film deep clean like is it dentistry i was like the story of using pine saw on your floors are you gonna get a plaque removal during this like what's happening is this about your car seats yeah well it's still modeled a little bit i'm really more of a storyteller at heart.

45:57So, yeah, you know, I act, I write. I just started producing and I've been like working on this short film all year. It's pretty good. I learned to use a vacuum for it. It's pretty good. I use this industry grade software called iMovie and I just make some good shit, man. So, this one, we didn't spend any much money on it. It's just like a little concept so that like, you know, just get financiers, get a little taste, you know. Like, it's a story about a model who goes and he like talks to someone in front of a car and then he knocks on a door and talks to someone else there. And it's a pretty, pretty good story.

46:33And I'm thinking we could turn it into a franchise. So I don't know. I think for most of the film festival, like this is where it's all going to happen for me, bro. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Pretty big deal. Yeah, I'm going to see it get made into a large feature film with a big budget and stuff. Like, do I need to do OnlyFans? Because, like, is that how I'm going to make my movies? not if you can't get it up so then Marcus is like well I've seen you come so far like literally like remember when you used to live in the valley and now you live closer and you've always worked so hard and you believed in yourself and like it motivates me like yesterday I became a DJ bro it's because of you yeah I still remember bro and like when you were about to leave LA what did I tell you when you were about to leave LA what did I tell you yeah you looked up at that billboard and you said you don't want to look up there one day and see me up there without you actually i was thinking about the other thing i said which was do you mind if i take your couch uh which i still would love to call dibs on that thing so just let me know you know how it is dude like it's so hard to find people out here they're like happy with you you know like they're like happy for you like when you win shit like i've always felt like you're happy you know like i mean you would be if i won stuff right yeah i appreciate you man i really i really do man so uh the question about that couch does it come with the ottoman also bro because i was thinking that'd be a full shed it'd be so good it'd be so sweet yeah so they're literally on the side of the road and marcus is like yeah it's my little lookout spot bro like i come here sometimes on my way home from work and i just like i take in the city a little bit um Excuse me, you do not live here.

48:15There's a no soliciting sign on the lawn for a reason. I know. Shane's like, that's beautiful, bro. That's really so beautiful. I wish I could do the same, but I usually have modeling gigs. So I'm usually booked and blessed. But for you just to be blessed and not booked, that's great. So that's awesome that you come here. They look out. Marcus goes, check that out, brother. Check it out. Yeah, check it in. Take it in. Take it in. What are we taking in, by the way? Are we looking at where the borders used to be on Sunset? Yeah, man. I called the police 20 minutes ago. I'm not kidding. Yeah, well, honestly, bro, like, today is, like, supposed to be a prep day.

48:54But, bro, I took my pops for a hike because I've been showing him all around L.A., bro. He's having the time of his life, bro. Is he? Like, is he everything you were hoping for? Yeah, yeah. But, you know, like, I had some trouble, bro, because, like, on the way when I was picking him up. and we don't really see oh yeah we do see what it is later so Shane tells us his story he's like yeah I haven't seen my dad in a long time because I mean I've only seen him once in three years because my father wasn't really present you know he was in and out of legal trouble and jail and he's coming to a big moment you know it's a lot of pressure on me and bro I stopped over at the store and I got some kratom that's an opioid isn't kratom fake weed I have never heard of Kratom before.

49:41I was like, oh, okay. I have no idea. So he's like, yeah, I've been sober for two and a half years, and I got 10 years off alcohol, 12 years off meth, 12 years off of fentanyl, and right now I've got two and a half years off marijuana and Adderall and mushrooms and DMT and ketamine. I was like, oh, okay. I thought Kratom – so I looked up Kratom. Kratom is a supplement that is sold as an energy booster, mood lifter, pain reliever, and remedy for the symptoms of quitting opioids. Like for withdrawal, basically. I have no idea. Maybe it's like methadone where it's like a little bit of it, but not enough.

50:18Listen, I have never heard of Kratom. I just trust that when he says he probably shouldn't have it, based on the list that he just detailed, I'm just going to believe him. Stay away from the Kratom. Yeah, that was quite a list. Yeah, Fidemol. Yeah, alcohol, fentanyl, meth, crystal, marijuana, Adderall, mushrooms, DMT, ketamine, gasoline, spray paint, whiteout, tape. You know, I put tape up my nose once. Didn't really get me high, but it did take out a lot of my nose hairs, which is kind of cool. Pokemon Go, I couldn't put that down. I just walked all over this shitty. Oh, man, that was a lot. I had great quads that summer.

50:57Yeah, I had my very first drink. I was probably about five years old. And my family introduced me to crack cocaine, methamphetamine. I mean, we were the hottest dopeheads in the trailer park, which is all that matters. You could be using, but as long as you're hot, that's the most important part. And it wasn't until I was digging through the carpet looking for meth crumbs that I understood that I might have a problem. So when I started recovery, my relationship with my parents really just kind of ended because I was partying with my parents and I did a lot of drugs. What the fuck? What is going on here?

51:24Why are you bringing your dad into town? So your dad and your mom are like crazy meth heads and you're bringing them to L.A., which is like pretty meth-y. I mean, don't let your parents just run around the town all by themselves. Don't do this to yourself. Don't do it. Get rid of them. Well, don't worry. He's safe in the hands of reality TV. What could go wrong? Oh, gosh. Newfound stardom and suddenly your dad's showing up again. Look at that. Your dad found out you're on a TV show and he's showing right back up there with his meth-y ass. Get your father out of there. yeah he basically tells us that he picked up he was gonna buy this kratom but the last time he bought kratom he went into a two-year um uh relapse and yeah and it like was terrible and when he's using he just lies and it's just he's dysfunctional he lost everything so he he put it down he's okay he didn't he didn't fall for it but whoa shane davis yeah he's like i'm incapable of being a good person if i'm on drugs it's like incapable so i put the drugs down i went to the airport and I picked up my dad and he picked up the drugs.

52:26So it was fun. You know, at least I got some vicarious out of it. But my dad was trashed. I mean, that's fine. Like, that's just who he is. Like, I love him. I accept him exactly the way he is. And I took him to my apartment. He snorted my TV, bro. I had to watch Netflix through his poop. It was crazy. It was crazy, bro. At least he's still hot. He's still a hot dad, you know? Ha ha ha ha. So Shane, his sister gets in later tonight and Mark's He's like, wow, those are going to be trippy for me to meet your sister and your dad, dude. He's like, yeah, I can't wait for them to meet you. I'll be like, this is the last successful model.

52:58Okay, he does one gig per month at best. And by month, I mean decade, right? Okay, spirit Halloween over there. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yikes. This is crazy. So they hug, and they're like, wow, we're friends. And the police, you know, the police are coming. I swear they're coming. They're fine. We'll leave, lady. so um now we go over to chris and jason's apartment and um gallons of water everywhere which i support big water person over here big water person finally got my water jug just have a water jug now i don't have to waste all those crystal geezer bottles whatever so uh chris and jason are there and chris is like hey what's up jace i might need your help with some auditions just some commercial shit you know that bullshit he's like oh anything new that you're working on well they're looking for a handsome model with rugged looks and great hands so come on check out these hands these are the hands that are gonna get me into tangled okay because look i don't really say no to anything if there was a door i'll knock on it and if it opens it opens if it doesn't it stays closed if it opens up a little bit i might be like hey can you open up a little bit longer a little bit i can't really get through and if they close i'll be like okay i was This is better, but I still need to open up a little bit more.

54:14It's like, we get it, Chris. We understand it. Okay. You knock on doors. So yeah, I've had a hand job before. You know, I've done a hand job before, you know, modeling, modeling. I mean, I don't mean like literally, I mean, I've done a hand job before. Let's face it. I've got to make a living. Am I right, bro? Come over here. Cause I'm doing a hand job right now. Doing a hand job right now. Okay. Ready to hand. Could you hand me a paper towel? Hand me a paper towel. You didn't warn me that was coming. You should warn me that was coming. It's unprofessional, bro. So, how are you and Audrey? It's like, well, I mean, we're just taking things super slow.

54:47I mean, she's only slept over once, and we didn't even hook up, you know? Wait, you didn't hook up? I thought you all hooked up. Nah, I've been good, though, bro. I've been good. Yeah, you know, I'm a guy. I love to have sex. But, like, genuinely, though, guys, like, I just think it's, like, fucked up past situationships, you know? So, I don't want that anymore. So, from now on, I'm only fucking my cousin.

55:12He's like, I mean, obviously it'll be soon. I mean, it's been like, what, like three weeks? No, four. It's been four weeks since you've had sex. Wow, you must have a lot built up. You must be really, really horny right now. Well, I know you like girls, but if there's anything I can do to make it easier for you, because you probably can't focus on your job, and if you can't focus on your job, you're probably not going to be able to earn money for rent. So any way I can help, I'll do it. You know what I got in common with the girl? I've also got a mouth. I'm here. I'm here, bro. I'm here. Bro, it's been four weeks and one more week it's gonna be a month.

55:45Come on. Come on, bro. Come on. It's like, wow. That's so long for you to not have sex. Wait, I have a question. How was the kiss with Audrey? It was like a 7 or like a 7.5 probably, yeah. Jason's like, I'm not gonna lie to you. When I kiss a girl, I know right away if I'm gonna fucking date on, like if the sex is gonna be good and everything. Like, I can tell. because like the first thing that's like important about sex is like attraction yeah no shit actually i think with these guys the first thing is how big is the bank account and then the second thing is attraction well that's exactly right i think when you're like gay for pay you're like wow it's crazy like if you really want to like somebody you should be attracted to them like really it's not the 20 in your hands i'm shocked secondly if it's like the fucking smile it's the smell bro like if i smell like a girl's smell i'm not saying they smell bad but i'm saying that they just like smell so like a smell is a smell i mean smell the smell it's like that smells but a good smell not a bad smell right he's like pheromones yeah dude like i can tell like i'm like a fucking animal bro i can smell those moans and so audrey comes over and um she's like hey guys so she's like oh my god this couch is like the same couch we slept on we passed out right here we didn't even have pillows remember that was like wild these these are the days of our lives i told mary faith that we passed out on a couch that didn't even have pillows yet and she got so mad that she ripped a photo off the wall and threw it on the ground she's crazy oh my god did i say that part out loud lisa's gonna ban her he's like whoa whoa before you go like too crazy like voyaging around our house we should put locks on the bathroom doors and she's like i wasn't voyaging you guy he told me to take a shower in there oh my god you were voyaging i'm and i put a master i put a master lock on my room after you're voyaging so yeah i was cooking or something i walked by and i'm like oh shit she's in jason's bathroom and i was like do you need a towel and she's like no i'm good and i was like good luck great story bro and jason's like you used my towel that's like so disgusting i like used it all over my asshole i was like like rubbing it all over my asshole.

58:01You probably smelled like shit. She's like, ew. It's like, yeah. And when I told her she was in your shower, she was like, oh, thank fucking God. Yeah. And by the way, this is Jason talking. I know it's hard to tell between us cousins, but like when everything came out, it was just like so much at the wrong time because like first making out with Shane in my face and then the OnlyFans thing. So I'm thinking, oh, the dick pump. And then it was like, it was just like so much at once. And I like literally just felt naked. I felt so naked in that moment. I was like being attacked. I felt like I was naked and not getting paid for it.

58:35Do you know how embarrassing that is? And she's like, yeah, one, like I shouldn't have brought it up to begin with personally. Cause yeah, well, honestly, I'm so happy you fucking did. Because like I was telling Chris and like it showed her true colors. Like it showed her true colors. And you know what? Her true colors walk funny because she has a bad back. Like I can't believe I even considered dating somebody with a bad back. Have you ever seen a rainbow that has a bad back? It's so crazy, but now we know what it looks like, so now we know to avoid it. Thank God. Yeah, well, how do you feel about her now, though?

59:06And she's like, um, I think she took some weapons that I gave her unintentionally and used weapons for violence. And now she has to do something that would gain my trust back, because right now I don't trust her at all with my weapons. So then we go to Shane, and Shane and his dad and his dad's companion, and they go up to the rooftop of the Formosa Bar or Formosa Restaurant. And, you know, they got a nice little group up there, et cetera. And they definitely shoot this as if it's like a big deal film festival. But like if you've ever been to the Formosa, the Formosa Bar Cafe is a Los Angeles landmark.

59:43It's like part of old Hollywood. It's also just like an adorable little cafe. So they're making it seem like this is the staircase going up to Cannes, the Cannes Film Festival, you know. and Kelly Rowland's about to get kicked off the staircase. It's like, no, this is the top of the cafe. It's like Sundance with a lot of beer taps. So he's like, yeah, I'm so grateful to have my dad here tonight so we can see what it is that I've worked so hard on in Los Angeles. It's like so special for me. You know, my dad's so fucking proud of me. Cannot find my bank card anywhere. Hope he can help me find that later.

1:00:17He's such a good dad. This scene was very important because it was a scene where we see that Shane travels into douchebag worlds. And it was so cool to see him straddling both because you have the Vanderpump Rules, aspiring actor world of Sir and Tom Tom. But then you have the aspiring filmmaker world, which is equally as douchey, but not as pretty. And it was cool to see him go back and forth between those worlds because we've seen those worlds here in L.A. for years and years and years. And never the twain did they, because usually the filmmakers, I feel like, resent the actors because they want to be the actors because the actors are pretty, but the actors resent the filmmakers because the filmmakers have intellectual cred.

1:00:57And so it was cool to see Shane being right in the middle and being able to go between both worlds. Yeah, and DC Walker, writer and director, comes over. He's like, oh, you're Shane's father, are you? Wow, so did you guys ever do high school plays or anything like that to really inspire Shane? Is that where Shane gets it from? And Shane goes, no, just did a lot of drugs together. he's like wow you're too cool okay you're gonna see him on the big screen here and we'll see if he's got what it takes to be a movie star okay and tomorrow i'm gonna go back to my job as a temp in an accounting firm all right but tonight i'm a writer director yeah what are you doing with that table tent there okay do not cut your blow on the table tent okay put that down it's a very classy festival sir so natalie comes and uh shane says she's looking pretty and she's like oh really Well, you look nice.

1:01:49I mean, are you happy now? Because it's like a big night for you. It's like really big. Like, this is crazy. I saw someone eating a hot dog over there. I mean, are we in heaven? Is like Robert Redford here? They've got Crab Raccoon here. So Shane is like, yeah, I feel just so supported by all my friends showing up and showing love. And like, tonight is one of the best nights of my life. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wait, one extra one for the film festival. Ha, ha. There we go. Yeah. So people come. Shane introduces Marcus to the dad and all of that stuff. And he's like, oh, I hope you're having a great time in L.A.

1:02:26He's like, I sure am. It's a wild place, this one. Okay, zip up your zip up, zip it up, zip it up, sir. I saw a bunch of queers down the street on San Marco Boulevard. They allow that here. Okay, dad. All right. Let's just here we go. Let's just be quiet here. Just put your cowboy hat back on Okay dad So Angelica's like oh my god I feel like half the people here now I'm not vibing with So I need a drink I seriously need a drink This is like crazy Oh no I'm sorry you said that Angelica But you can say it with me anyway Because no one likes me either And Angelica's like I mean if only they can drink their drinks a little faster So I don't have to talk to them I guess I'll say hi to Kim She's always fun And Kim's like huh She walks right by.

1:03:15Audrey doesn't say hi to Audrey. She says hi to Kim. You know it's bad when you're going out of your way to say hi to Kim. You know you're being passive aggressive. And you're like, oh, wow, I'm at a party where there's so much fun happening. Let me be sure to say hi to Kim. Last resort, Kim over there. So Jason's like, how bullshit to show up and be like so awkward. Yeah, she said hi to everyone but me. Yeah, she didn't say hi to me either, though. But she said hi to the girls. I was talking about the girls. Oh, yeah, that's wild. That's wild that she said hi to girls, but not me too. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Night of Shorts Night.

1:03:52The Night of Shorts Night. That's right. That's the sort of grammar you get. Finally, I'm being honored. It's like Jason goes up to accept an award. I just love it. So anyway, the Formosa Film Festival featuring the Night of Shorts Night. Thank you. He's like, thank you so much for joining us here. Let's get started. Let's put our hands together for Mr. D.C. Walker to see Deep Clean. Fun fact, D.C. stands for Deep Clean. It's an autobiography. Okay, enjoy, everyone. This is me. This one's me. And so Shane's movie comes up. I like yes to say that. Let's say that in case the sister doesn't realize that when she sees Shane Davis on screen that that does impact him.

1:04:33Yeah. Hey, that's me on the screen there. You might not recognize me because I comb my hair a little different in this one. It's me. A method A method So we see scenes If I like his sister He goes I'm already embarrassed for you I'm like girl Wait till you see the show So we see scenes From the movie And we see him going Hey Hold up You sure you mean murder? Ha ha ha ha Yeah But you haven't seen His wife since I get it That doesn't mean He's the reason

1:05:07Angelica's like She looks like Really cute on the screen He's like doesn't have any traces of a broken back like i do but he just has a jawline that just should be in the movies marcus is like he's got hair like leo dicaprio venus says yeah watching shane's film right now it's like making me horny because like shane is like hot as fuck okay it's like an angel like the face of an angel coming out of the clouds and it's like oh that's what it's like being around him he's just so fucking gorgeous so the movie ends and everyone claps even though they're probably but like, what the fuck was that? Like an unfinished short film.

1:05:42Cause it says like, like coming soon to a theater near you. So I guess it was like a preview. Like they made a preview. Yeah. So now it was like, yeah, I know everyone's complimenting him and that's great, but I need to see more range from Shane because like, I've got a BS in acting and actually like I was the best in the class. And my teacher told me that. And I trained with the lady that discovered Orlando Bloom, who's like single right now. I mean, I don't know if he's single, but he's getting divorced. So call me. Call me. Call me. We can bond over having the same acting teacher. Yes. So Marcus is asking the dad, what'd you think?

1:06:23What'd you think? And then the guy's like, oh, it was pretty good. Yeah, it was good. And Marcus is like, all right, it's time to party now. I'm like, don't tell the dad. Not around here. Not here. They're going to go celebrate, okay? So they all go out, and Shane tells his dad, I have to say, you're probably up front. Oh, I'm sorry, his dad says to him, this is really good, and not just because you're my son. There's just so many directions that this film could go into. It's so great. And I love when the screen turned all red and orange, and you got six faces. It's like, Dad, were you using it during my movie?

1:07:02I was, son. I was. Bro, I love your movie, son. I would have loved it more if it was going straight in my lungs. Can we make that happen? You're just saying that, Dad. You're just saying that. But wouldn't that be hilarious if my dad was like, everybody did best up there but you. You got third place. That would be so funny right now. So now we go to Barney's Beanery. Everyone's bar, Barney's Beanery, guys. But they go to the Santa Monica location, which I think says something. The show is so confusing. Why would you go from Formosa all the way to Santa Monica? Barney's Beanery is very close to you.

1:07:43Why do you go all the way to the other side of town? That's why I didn't recognize it. I was like, did they redo Barney's? I was just there a year ago. yeah i was like this is not right and eventually it said like found it in santa monica so um uh i think it's because barney's beanery the weo one has become like a hot spot it's like hard to get into now because taylor swift went there like once or twice and now like all the gen z's go there so yeah they had to go to the santa monica location which is so the show taylor swift should like go to college so we could educate this country everybody will go you know positive things don't go to barney's beanery go to a library up our drive bars so they go to barney's beanery and angelica has a friend there saying hi and angelica is just saying that they're they went to a shane's movie premiere and everything she's like yeah like really in lives kind of not really broken back and then everyone what shane walks in and they're like shane davis and everything but then on the other side of the room there's shane davis and everything

1:08:53that's funny

1:08:58then on the other side of the room there's trouble in paradise between marcus and kin who have in case you forgot from earlier in the episode are in a better place than they've ever been before yeah so we see kim hug somebody and marcus is like kimberly can you read my lips because you're doing too many special hugs. And then we see a flashback to Kim hugging people. And Marcus is like, I don't want to see none of that. I'm a DJ now. And it's the second time I've seen it. She's like, we just celebrated our 10 month anniversary. And he's going to celebrate it by being a dick about me hugging people.

1:09:32Like, what the hell? Like, bro, you don't trust me? And he's like, yeah, well, here's the story, you guys. I hugged Natalie the wrong way at TomTom one day and she totally called me out for it. Oh, so since we're talking hugs, since we're talking hugs, I'm going to call it out. Boom. This is not a good pattern of behavior. Like, yes, I thought that she was being totally irrational when she came at you for hugging Natalie. But this is you just exacting revenge is not going to help the situation. Also, why are you guys celebrating your 10-month anniversary? That is not an anniversary to celebrate.

1:10:08That's nothing. That's a 10. You don't celebrate your 10-month anniversary. that's maybe nine months but not the 10 month what's wrong with you people yeah you only so you only celebrate the nine month because the baby's fucking finally out of you you know 10 months is so i can be drunk at least half the day again so they are continuing to be toxic which is which is great and um now we see marcus is standing next to kim and they're like not even talking and now we get a real big important thing about boo bears because demi is like hey marcus marcus offer to get your girlfriend a drink. Offer to get your girlfriend a drink.

1:10:43Okay. Give your girlfriend a drink. She's mad. Marcus, give her a drink. He's like, no, no, I don't even want that. And Demi says, Kim, what do you want? She's like, a boo bear. She's a what? A blue bear? She's a boo bear. A boo bear. It's called a boo bear. She's yeah. It's called a boo bear. I'd like, oh my God, where are the bathrooms? I'm going to lose it. Where are the bathrooms? Someone bring me my boo bear in the bathroom, please. So she goes to the bathroom to go cry. And then meanwhile, Mark's like, I don't want to do this. This is stupid. And Demi's like, okay, you know what? Get your fucking girlfriend a boo bear.

1:11:12What? It's called a boo bear. What? A boo bear. Get her the boo bear. A boo bear. I don't want to get her a boo bear. Get her the boo bear. Get her the fucking boo bear. He's like, no, I'm going to do two double Titos with a splash of lemon. She goes, oh my God. Like, seriously? So Kimberly's in the bathroom. I'm like, I'm okay now. I'm okay, guys. I'm okay. A woman finds her strength. a woman finders drinks and demi comes into or demi comes in to check on her and uh she's like um i'm here without my drink i'm like a devastated where's my drink um well i just got mine right now and you have no idea how long it's taken do you understand the line for boo bears is so long it's a miracle you even got you're gonna get one it's like i'm just like tired of being ignored and made to seem like i did something wrong and like don't tell me to ignore him back okay because it's not like that like i can ignore him back but like i've literally done absolutely nothing wrong so like address something with me like what the hell like why is he upset with you just because you want a boo bear that's crazy because like i don't even know like i hugged somebody for too long like sorry you hugged a boo bear did you hug a boo bear you hugged a boo bear didn't you yeah like i texted him i only have eyes for you and i only love you and you're the only person that matters to me and You're the only person that I love.

1:12:30Like, stop. Okay, I'm trying to say this in a way where you don't get upset with me. Too late. There's no other way for me to take things. Okay, well, he's never going to change. This is who he is. And I'm telling you, he's going to wake up tomorrow and he's going to feel like shit. He's going to have regrets. You did nothing wrong. But he's just the garbage and you should walk away. Got it. So he's a great guy and we should stay together, right? Yeah, so, like, we should get married because, like, he needs to take a step back and realize whatever he's projecting onto me is not me. and like if he keeps doing it, he's going to lose me and I mean it this time kind of.

1:13:03So they go back in, they go back out to the bar so that way she can get her boo bear and then Angelica meanwhile is going through her issues. She's like, I'm like, is this the time to talk to Audrey? I think I'm going to, I don't know, I've got a broken bag. It's hard to decide. It's just so awkward, awkward and painful for me. Awkward for her, but awkward and painful for me because my nerves are broken. Oh God, I don't want to say anything, but oh God. Okay, Audrey, you want to talk? You want to talk, Audrey? and she's like yeah let me just finish this um shane's dad is trying to smoke crack out of my lipstick tube so just give me a second i'll be right there i'll be right up so they go sit down and angelica is like um i want to say anything obvious and just say like my spine could never work again um so what's going on with you and she's like um definitely not good because like i've had time to think about stuff and my trust was broken because like i told you about a penis pump and then like that wasn't cool for you to tell people like if i saw something in your drawer like and then you know everybody made fun of you you'd feel embarrassed i'm sorry is um trust what we're calling backs now because you said your trust was broken because i have a broken trust as well okay um so i just want to say that like if it wasn't in his drawer it's like on a shelf in the house so like i saw it somewhere or whatever you would have seen it or i would have seen it stupid and just like yeah i could like go on and subscribe and like find him using a penis pump right now what's the big deal it's like that's not the point you're missing the whole fucking point yeah but it's like a dancer being afraid that they somewhat sell their ballet shoes like that's crazy it's like girl what the fuck is wrong with you how many times have you dropped on your head as a baby she's like are you okay i really don't understand you at all i really don't i was sharing a story with you a private story and i thought we could have a laugh about it girl to girl okay and she's like yeah but that's what makes it a joke it's like humorous like what him get him out it's your joke pretty much so audrey's like you don't have the right to take his business but he's you started it yeah but we were on a couch in our pajamas drinking matcha and closed door room like i wasn't doing it the way you were doing it i mean does matcha mean nothing to nobody anymore you volumized it okay you you gave the joke beautiful large hair i can't believe you volumized all these people don't wave your finger in my face and the guys are watching and they're like, wow, look at her go.

1:15:17She's really got it. She's really telling her off. And she's like, you're crossing a line. Yeah, well, he owns out his business every day on his OnlyFans. Like, haven't you even seen it? Why are we OnlyFans shaming people? So what? If they do their OnlyFans, like, let them do the OnlyFans. What the fuck do you care? That's why she's losing this argument because she should just be staying in a place of like, Like, yeah, aired it out because I was mad at him because he hurt me. And then he's been playing games with me. And then he actually hurt me. And then he told me this thing. So I'm like, fuck it.

1:15:50I'm going to get revenge. Like, that's what she should say. But instead, she's actually, like, shaming him for being on OnlyFans. It's like, what? Like, I honestly don't think OnlyFans is any worse than being on Vanderpump Rules. So, like, you've already lost your moral high ground on this one. Well, you probably get paid more to be on OnlyFans than you do to be on Vanderpump Rules. That's for sure. but the point isn't that they're on OnlyFans or they're sluts or whatever you want to say the point is that you betrayed your friend by taking something that was said in confidence and going and just apologize Angelica like you were an asshole you were the asshole here sorry and she's like well I never asked Audrey for the information she told me she's like yeah now I'm falling on the sword is that how you say it?

1:16:35Seward. People fight with them? like oh my god Seward. Seward. She's like, okay, I will apologize for telling Lisa. That was like a little bit like it kind of came out of diarrhea mouth, you know? She's like, yeah, but like the whole day came out like diarrhea mouth, and you wouldn't even stop talking about it. I thought you found it funny. She's like, there was a time and a place. There was a time and a place. She's like, okay, well, like I'm sobbing. So then on the other side of the room, Jason's like, oh, my God, is she talking shit right now? They're like, yeah, that girl's holding it down.

1:17:07They're all judging it. They're like, yeah, she's doing great. The new girl's pretty good. Well, I guess they're all new girls. But Jason's like, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So then Angelica keeps going and she's like, okay, well, like the problem here is you and I started a friendship and then Chris calls me a fucking bitch. And where's the apology? Okay, well, that's true too. I mean, you guys started a friendship and these guys are being douchebags to this girl and you're jumping on the side of the guys immediately instead of being like, hey, guys, you shouldn't talk to her like that.

1:17:38And you should apologize for breaking her back. And you should apologize for lying and standing her up and doing all this other stuff. So, you know, Audrey's wrong on this one, too. Because that's kind of gross girl behavior. Because she's like, well, that's on him. And then you and Angelica. And so then Angelica goes, you're not a girl's girl, though. Anytime there's a guy in the room, you immediately take that need their validation. That's what it feels like. So Audrey's like, that's not fucking true. If we want to talk about men's validation, look at the two people that you've already been going after.

1:18:06I am not the one. That's not a bad point either because you're saying she's going for malvalidation, but you jump right for Jason and then go straight to Shane to make Jason mad. So, I don't know. And so Angelica's like, well, I'm not sorry that I said it, but I am sorry that I hurt you because I care about you. She goes, that's literally contradicting yourself because what you said hurt me. And she goes, she's like, from where I stand, it's over. I will never trust her again. I think she's disrespectful. The boys are okay. So done. moving on yeah but like if you don't want to trust me like that's fine but like I want to like look at myself like your big sister it's like yeah I don't need you as my big sister and I give people 100 % of my trust until they give me a reason not to so moving forward I'll be cordial to you and that's it that was like a I felt like a huda move from Love Island like guys that's someone here who's in a good relationship you can always come to me to talk I will show you the way I was just like you are uh uh uh I am not making you my sister.

1:19:09Get out of my face, stupid face. You're not my sister. My sister. My sister. Well, I can't wait to find out what happened to Angelica's back. She probably just sprained it. But either way, we will find out soon enough. Thanks, everyone, for being here. Be sure to get your tickets to the Golden Crappies, February 27th in Hollywood. It's gonna be great. Bye.

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