#3174 Below Deck Med S10E17 Part Two: Mob (Wife) Mentality

0:21Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapens. And this is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So they come back on the boat, and then they're like, oh, my God. It was, like, very choppy. It was actually, like, so choppy, I, like, did not feel safe on there. It was, like, very scary. And Sandy's like, so? What did I tell you? What did I tell you? Well, I told you a few things. It'd be chappy. I told you that BB's coming to town and that, God, Storm is so good.

0:59Really, I'm so lucky that I got a screener. I'm not supposed to say anything about it, but Judi Dench, she's going to get an Emmy. I'll tell you that much right now, okay? What did I tell you, guys? Listen, it's like the time I gave Norma Pashmina and I said, no, it's not to wrap around your shoulders. It's to put over your face. And she did it. I laughed at her and I threw bananas at her head until she started crying and ran home. Forgot why I was telling you this story, but god that was fun okay i'll be in my room never seen a pashmina with more crumbs on it that's for sure golden grams donuts crab shells the whole whole range everything's from uh so josh is melting down in the kitchen like oh god plates and then um it's pajama party night so they want dinner at 9 15 or 9 30 um and so they just go tell josh that and he's like fine with it because it wasn't kizzy i guess passing him around yeah he does not like it when kizzy's ass finds out the news um so joe and kizzy are sitting together a love a love so torrid being kept apart and then uh one of the guests finds a hair in the hot tub she's like you know what i found the guy the hair in the hot tub i guess as long as it's mine it's fine you know as long as not a pubic hair it's okay frank is this your pubic hair if it's your figure get over here because i want you to clean out your pubic you know what shade tonight frank because I don't want to see any more pubic kids in the hot tub.

2:24Okay.

2:28And Joe and Kizzy, you're talking about the maddest place you've ever shagged. And she's like, the maddest place? We're thinking of Gondola and you. And he's like, the most memorable was in the garden center. I don't know why, but we were in the garden center. And then the ladies came over and said, you're in a Lowe's. And then the girl I was shagging said, I know I've hit a Lowe, but I'm horny. And I said, what's that supposed to mean?

2:55I did leave with a free paint stick though that was well it's to be fair I was shagging in the garden center and to also be fair I was shagging a trellis it was weird but you know it worked a hole as a hole so then Nathan's like fuck I don't know what's good I don't know what Joel's doing with Kizzy I tried to tell him that he's fucking doing wrong but I think I've grown this season as a person you know I wish my hair could follow suit, but you know, something's got to grow. But not only that, having Gail around, like in my life, even just a little bit, just knowing she's stuck in a hotel room waiting for seven days for me, and then maybe I might ghost her at the end of it.

3:33Just exciting. Can't help but have personal growth after that. Yeah, I'm not buying this Nathan bullshit for one second. It's like, oh, I'm so in love with Gail. I just can't. I don't buy it. You're a piece of shit to me too. I don't buy it from you, sir. and he's like yeah and i just want joe to be better because i'm better i'm better look at me nathan who's grown so much so joe needs to be better too you haven't grown you haven't done anything what are you giving yourself credit for and the show's giving you credit too like you've done something other than impregnate somebody not buying it they're trying to really sell the story that he grew up and then now he's having a baby um but like last time we checked you were throwing McNuggets at the yacht.

4:16So then we get a text from Gail. It's like, hey, I'm heading to Minnurka with some girlfriends to go see a thing for the next few days. I just don't want you to see pictures and not know what they are. Just so you know, totally healthy. And he's like, okay, have fun. So then Kizzy is still nursing her trash can toe. I'm still over here rooting for a trash can. I mean, the things that happen on Monday nights. I know. The things we, in 2026, you never know who you're going to root for, but apparently it's a simple human trash can. And Jennifer comes. She's like, oh my God, I'm having trouble with the bathtub.

4:57They can't get the bubbles down or something. You gotta come look. It's crazy. So they go over there and dumbass Karen has put all the bubbles in the bath. And so it's overflowing all over the floor. Like these people are fucking pigs. Seriously. People are dumb. What's wrong with you? Like you're hilarious. You're all like, clean that up. You trash. Yeah. Okay. You had your reality TV moment. You had, you did something funny. Now, like get out. So, uh, then Josh is, uh, cooking and he's praying. He's praying to his pan. Cause he's making, he's making a, uh, to 10. And I think it's a nectarine to 10, I believe.

5:39So he's making, or an apricot to 10. And he's like, please, good vibes. please have this work out. So he's praying over his tatin, and then Nathan I didn't know you pronounced it like that at tatin. I was like actually thinking tartine. No, I think it's tatin. Is he making a tart? Is it spelled tartine? No, it's spelled T-A-T-I-N. Oh, tatin. Tatin. So what is that? So it's kind of like an upside down cake, essentially. Basically, if you were to make like an apple tart to tan, for instance. You would basically take a slice of some apples. You make like kind of like put some sugar and some water into a pan and you cook it, sort of becomes caramelized.

6:23Maybe add some like apple cider or apple juice. A method I learned from the late great Anne Perel. And you put your apple slices and then you cram them in there. You cram them and you cook them. You cook them in this like caramelly sauce and the apples start to cook. And then once they're done, not once they're done, But once they're like sort of on their way, you lay over like a puff pastry or maybe a pie crust. But I think puff pastry is the way to go. But like there's variations where you can just add like cake dough or whatever. And then you basically, it's in a skillet and you put it into the oven and then the dough is going to bake.

6:58And then once the dough is ready, you take the thing out and you flip it. And there, once what you have is a beautiful tart-tartan. and it's actually and it looks nice because when you put the apples in the pan you've arranged them in a nice pattern so that way when it flips out it all looks cute so they're really they're really fun they're fun to make but you can burn them i the last time i tried to make one for we're welcome to inside the apple to tan studios um i'm like you're like james lipton and i'm like well let me tell you about my yeah i love it last time i did it i over caramelized it and so when i turned it out it looked like dark and sexy and i was like oh my god this is amazing And when I bit into it, it was like a burned caramel.

7:38So I think that's what happened here. And that's the, that's the funny thing. It's like sugar is the best thing in the world until it turns on you. And when it turns on you, it's like, fuck you. You thought I was good. I'm really Satan. And it chokes you. It tries to kill you. It's evil. I, I think that honestly, like when they complained about the to 10, I was like, I'm going to let them have that because I messed up at 10 once. I thought it would be, it would just always, it's their apples. I thought like it would just be always perfect. And I'm telling you, it came out. It was like this. It was sexy.

8:09It was like dark and shiny and shimmering. It was like, Ooh, wow. And then, um, it tasted like ass because it was bitter. It was bitter and burnt.

8:21So he's praying over this, uh, and Nathan is trying to go because he liked her. And, um, she's not answering what part of, I'm going to be out all day with my friends. Do you not understand? You needy. fuck. You were the one who ghosted me and now you're texting and calling non-fucking-stop. Love bomber. He's love bombing. 100%. 100%. That's what I'm going to say. Non-stop doing this. And then Max and Kathy are they're in laundry and Max is like, oh, mademoiselle Kathy. Okay, so you need to talk about that. She's like, oh, God. So then they get interrupted because there's a towel emergency. And then everyone starts to change because there's going to be this pajama party so everyone's sitting in their pajamas and V pokes her head into the galley but that's Kizzy and Joe are in there and she's like but she doesn't see, they don't see her but Kizzy's like, Joe okay guys, if we're getting married, Joe and I are getting married if we get in six years time and we're still single, we're gonna get married V's like, gross It's time for a commercial It's time for a Crapins commercial.

9:36So then V just rolls her eyes in the confessional. She's like, ugh. So then all the guys wear girls' pajamas. It's hilarious. And Sandy's like, I hope you're all wearing underwear. God. And that was, by you're all, I mean Norma. Okay. And Josh is like, oh, you want a plated meal? You're going to get a fucking plated best dinner, best plated meal in the entire world. Why are these on tires? Why is the chicken being served on tires? I said plates, plates, plates though. These are tires. Could you, someone explain to Josh what plates are. This is the worst thing. There's actually a hole in the middle.

10:14So when you put the food in, you're literally not even making contact with the surface. It's going back onto the table. So now Kizzy is still talking about her toe. Yeah. So most consistence Kizzy's been, honestly. Yeah. Like she jumps around from thing to thing, episode to episode, But the toe, she's really consistent with the toe. So we're all feeling terrible for her, I'm sure. And then the guests are partying, and they're talking about oysters. And he's like, so who doesn't eat oysters? And the young one's like, not me. Like they're mad at him for saying oysters. I know. And they're just very tacky, this group.

10:53They are tacky. And then some people have to go down and clean the tub where the bubble bath was. It's got like a tampons are all over it. It's disgusting. Um, and then the food is being served. There's some, some beetroot tartar with pickled blackberries and everything. And everyone likes it except for Annalise. Annalise is the, she's the biggest therapist of them all. And she's like, ew, gross. I don't like it. And then people like the oyster dish. Annalise is like, um, I don't like extra large oysters with caviar on it. I like that. I like it in the shell with the lemon and I can just put it down with that red shit.

11:24Give me that red shit for my oysters.

11:29and then marissa is like you know what i hope you can make clams casino and i didn't like that the ma the older generation is just like they keep on checking the kids because jennifer's like you're on a yacht okay you can get clams casino at every italian restaurant staten island and brooklyn why do you want to have a clams casino marissa come on be classy we're in yeah she's like, I want my clams casino. There, I said it. So now Joe and Nathan are talking in their cabin and Nathan's like, well, Gail's in Menorca with some surfer guys from Sydney. And she asked me, would it be an issue? And I said, no.

12:05And Joe goes, oh, fuck off. I mean, if she can't behave, you know what I mean? Then that could be a little test. And he's like, what do you mean? It's not a test. Joe's totally misreading this because he's totally projecting what he would do in that situation and also how he would act if you were the one sneaking off to menorca so nate is like no it's not a test i'm just saying she went to menorca he's like well if she's on faithful mate well then that's absolutely ridiculous and then you know then you're free from her and you can start banging other girls congratulations get your get your penis wet he's like no i uh i'm just saying she went to menorca and i hope she has fun no she's cheating on you yeah he is because he's trying to make this whole Gale is a cheater thing, a storyline now, for some reason.

12:52He's been trying to do it ever since Gale came back. You are the cheater, sir! It's you! But Nathan did start this off weird. Like, yeah, she asked permission to go surfing with some guys, and I said, yeah. But also, like, Joe, who has been peddling a narrative that he and V weren't even a thing. They're, like, not even a couple. It's, like, not even a big deal. So he kissed Kizzy, and, like, maybe sort of disrespectful, but like, they're not a couple. So like, why all the drama? And literally Joe, I mean, Nathan and Gail are not even dating. It's not even that they're like in a situation there.

13:26Nothing is happening between them. And now Joe is like, well, if she's going to cheat, you better be careful. Be careful. Cause if she's unfaithful, then you know that she's a slot. She's not worthy of your time. I'm like, Oh, so suddenly someone's pretty high, high and mighty about cheating. And someone has a pretty low threshold for what qualifies as being unfaithful yeah so nathan doesn't like that uh the guests are still loving the food except there's not clams casino and then um everyone's messing around in the galley while josh is plating and he's like kathy kathy please please i'm trying to trying to concentrate here can we be mindful i'm cooking i'm in the middle of a service things i'm required to put food on things all right please it's getting distracting and she's like okay so she like salutes him and she goes so what should I do he goes let's fucking around she's like okay that's fine so then they bring out the next course and Annalise of course is complaining and she's like you know what I'm a big pasta girl is there truffle on this wow you're a big I never would have thought this group would have been big pasta people thank you for telling me that Annalise I was afraid that you were into delicate obscure foods so I'm really glad you clarified that you're a pasta person i would not have suspected and she's like is that truffle in this is that a thing that people do like put truffles in pasta i guess yeah but i guess i've had that it's good yeah but i think it's also kind of trashy to just be like you know what i want truffles it's like when people come on and they're like you know what i gotta have gold wrapped things i want chocolate wrapped in gold it's like okay the lady who wanted her steak and gold i and gold leaf i went to a there's like a hand roll place right near me.

15:06And, you know, it's the sort of place where you just, everyone has to sit at the counter. And then there's like the chefs, you know, like the sushi chefs there making things. And this one guy's like, so you guys do fugu? Because fugu is the blowfish or puffer fish that you have to be specifically licensed to be able to serve it. I don't think you're even, you might not even be allowed to serve it in America. Maybe you can. And like, because if you slice the fish incorrectly, you will like kill the person. Like you like, there's like very, very, there's like high toxicity. You have to cut around these glands or whatever.

15:40And you have to be super, super licensed. And so like you go to very special chefs to do it. It's very rarefied. And that's a whole thing. And this guy is here on sunset Boulevard, talking to the chef being like, so you guys do Fugu. Yeah. I'm like, I, What is this flex? What are you trying to flex? Maybe you're going to order fugu during the lunch rush on Sunset Boulevard. Shut the fuck up. You sound so rich. Oh, congratulations. You're so sophisticated. You know about fugu. You've heard of truffles. Wow. You're really important. And he's like, unfortunately, truffles are out of season. I tried to get some.

16:27Okay. Now, I'm ignorant about truffles. And I'll admit it. Because I just. I mean, I love mushrooms. but I'm just not a big, like I'm going to pay a hundred dollars for a mushroom. Like I'm just not, unless I, unless it trips me out, that'll do. But I don't know that much about them. Aren't truffles dried generally and in season? Like, can't you always get truffles? I don't believe so. I think you would have to like literally dig them up and, um, I have to be in season. I think they, yeah, because there's like black truffle season and white truffle season and, and I know you shave. I don't know a lot about it.

17:00And I mean, And also he could have just like, let's see, probably could have put some dried mushrooms on there and added some truffle oil and then like truffles. And they'd be like, oh my God, this is delicious. And so who I end? I mean, this is. Yeah. She probably knows about as much as me about truffles. So I would say just cut up some mushrooms and say they're truffles. She could have put like a big old portobello on there. Like we found the biggest truffle in all of Europe and put it on your pasta. She's like, oh my God, of course, this is what we want. So Josh was like, look, unfortunately, truffles are out of season.

17:27and I tried to get some and I know you're a big truffle girl, but unless we get them from Australia, you know, it's not going to happen. I'm like, don't even say that. Don't say that. Don't care for an option. Just say they're out. They're sold out in Europe. Okay. You have to truffle shuffle out of here. They're sold out in Europe. Europe has run dry of truffles. And she's like, yeah, then go to Australia then. Get them for me. Yeah, fly them in then. Because Australia, like what? Australia's like five minutes. Just get it for me. I'm looking up, when is truffle season? truffle season is well it depends on the type white truffles are september to december winter black truffles are december to march summer black truffles are made a september and seasonal varieties are january to april so it seems like they're actually he could get some truffles yeah he could get some truffles you know what annalise will give you this one it's easy to stand up for josh because he's going against these dum-dums but we have to remember it's josh too and also he pulls a king crab thing later which is not cool so he's like yeah well I tried to get truffles but I can't get truffles and Dominic's like yeah truffle fucker because he fucked the truffles that's why shut up Dominic just import it and he's like and the guy goes we could have brought it from New York well then you should have so then Josh is like well so these are agnolotti with ricotta and parmesan and olive inside and there's king crab in the middle and everyone's like oh my god it's so delicious i absolutely love this oh my god and then annalise is like she's like mad she's like i'm not guess what it's not crunchy i'm not tasting the shell okay because i want my king crab legs she's like i don't like the crab in it oh okay so um josh is like god these people are weird but he sees kathy and he's like okay listen there's a vibe that's fucking around you know i spend all day on these fucking dishes and they're not getting the appreciation they deserve and i spent all day doing this and I want it to go as good as I envisioned.

19:23And she goes, but has it gone out okay? And he's like, excuse me. And she's just like, dude, just respect him. Don't talk back, Kathy. She's like, I'm sorry, but sometimes I just have to say chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Okay, you got that out of your system. That's fine. Go downstairs and do something else. So it's just like, we're getting to the end of the season and tensions are rising and I don't want this new drama It's a bubble out. We've had enough of it to deal with as it is. Remember the bubbles that we saw for five seconds? Bubbles, it's a callback. Commercials, here comes one right now.

20:04So now the guys are out talking about who's waking up when. And Max is like, oh, we have to wake up at 6 a.m., so I want to go down now because that would be eight hours of sleep, you know, to be here doing nothing. We are like crowded in pantry. And Nathan's like, but the captain asked us to stay up with the girls until the girls go down. He's like, well, you know, it's better to, you know, roll over on deck. You know, I would like to go to bed. This is so Max. It's like the Captain Sandy literally, we didn't say this, but Captain Sandy literally said, just so you know, all the guys stay up with the girls, basically, or outside stays up with inside.

20:42And Max said, but I need to get my sleep. and it was very important for me to get my sleep. If I don't get my sleep, I cannot love Kathy. It's like, shut up. And what's crazy is that like Nathan allows him to do this. If I were Nathan, I'd be like, you have to stay up. This is captain's orders. I don't care how you feel. I don't care how much you're going to drag tomorrow. These are captain's orders and stay awake. Yeah, I was surprised that he let him do it too. And then he just mutters as he walks off like fucking Max. But yeah, but you're the boss. So Max goes down and you know, I'm sure that people would have lost respect for Max.

21:14Had we had any, you loser. So Captain Sandy sees, she calls Leah. She's like, oh my God, look at you. It's beautiful. You're beautiful. Oh gosh, thank God Apple added this function so I can see you. BB time. Hey, BB. Hey, baby. Hey, so where are you? Well, I'm in like Orlando. Oh God, you know that I'm in real Barcelona, not Epcot Barcelona. Okay, so give me a moment I'm going to talk to the ticketing agent I'll be right back, see you soon Apparently that's really far, baby And I need a passport, but now my passport Says Baby yawn Mrs. Yawn And Sandy's like He is coming for the final night It's incredible, I can't wait to see her I can't wait to see you, baby I can't wait to see you I can't wait to see you, baby.

22:11And I can't believe they killed off Judy Dench's character. Oh, my God. I didn't know that. I forgot that you see it in America first. That was a spoiler, baby. So now it comes the apple tart with vanilla ice cream. And they're like, this tastes like an ass. This is disgusting. I ate it. What did you braise it with? What did you braise this with? Meatloaf? This is disgusting. They kept on saying, what did you braise it with? It's got like a back taste. It's a back taste. I don't like it. I don't like it anymore. Send it back. I don't want it anymore. This isn't good for me. And yeah, I suspect that he burned to his caramel on that.

22:48Sorry. But then Annalise has a bigger issue. Listen, put that to town to the side. Because Annalise, she wants a king crab legs. She's like, can we have king crab legs tomorrow? And by the way, she hunts him down. She goes to him. She's like, George, come up here. Gross. Sorry. I thought you were going to say more than that. I knew I interrupted you. I just wanted to be clear that she gets up from the table and marches. She's like, I want Josh right now. Josh! Can we have king crab legs tomorrow? And then he makes a face like, uh-oh. And she goes, don't even tell me. Don't even tell me. He's like, but we used it all today because I got half of a leg and I put it in the pasta.

23:34You used it for the ravioli. Marissa's like, you used it for the raviolis, right? Okay. Use it. Okay. Cause you're all right. You know what? You're going to have to import it. Import, import the king crab. Cause guess what? You gave me no truffle. You gave me no crab. You gave me no other things that I really liked. I'm going to come up with it later, but I'm going to come back to you and I'll tell you that you didn't come up with it. Okay. That's three things, three things you didn't come up with. I put three things on my preference sheet, big cheese, girl, big truffle and king crab legs. Okay.

24:03Zero truffle, one crab leg. Okay. I've had some cheese. I just farted, but still, You divided that crab between eight people? That's something else. And Marissa's like, she's just tired. She's like, I'm not tired. I need crab leg. All right. Baby wants crab leg. Get me my crab leg. I mean, but the thing is, you're not the primary. So, like, yes, you like crab legs. But, like, this is going to be based on what their primary likes. He's not going to do a whole crab leg feast just for one person. But that being said, he should have some crab legs around. Yeah, I was going to say, I think this girl's trash.

24:37and I think her behavior is trash and I think her whole demeanor is trash, but she's got a point. I mean, if you put crab leg on your sheet, you expect to get big old crab. I want to see like the Rockettes. You know, I want to see their legs. You know, the crab version of Rockette legs on the table. I don't want this. Like I put a little tiny bit in the middle of a ravioli. So he's like, he tells us, Annalise, I can't just whip a crab leg out of my ass. Okay, like a chef with a magical ass. So like I don't have a magical awesome. Sorry. I'm like, honestly, even if you did have a magical or else, I really would not want a crab leg that came out of a magical ass.

25:14But also you're a clown. So like you should be able to whip a crack leg out. You actually should. You know what I mean? Also, I feel like you're in Europe. I feel like crab leg, you must be able to get in Europe. It just seems like something you're in the ocean. I mean, it's Alaskan cranking crab leg. I get it, but still it should be around. It's gotta be in the freezer section somewhere. Right? Cause that is good. A prince crab. I don't care. Honestly, just give her some like any crab and she'll and just tell her just say I took the liberty to take the crab out of the shell for you and here it is and it's just like from a jar I don't care give her a chicken nugget and tell her it's a king crab she'll make oh my god this is exactly what I asked finally fucking so Annalise is so mad she's like whatever I'm walking away okay and he's like alright goodnight it's like your mother your mother she said your mother

26:05So now, guys, what? Oh, so Gail texts Nathan and she's like, oh, sorry, Mr. Caller. I'm still out, but call me tomorrow. So now Kizzy can't sleep. Yeah. Yeah. This one. Yeah. Both of them. All of them, really. So Kizzy can't sleep. It's four in the morning. It's like, oh, my God, my mom. She calls her mom and her mom's like, you'll never make it in ballet now. She's like, Mom, we gave that up. I'm getting really frustrated because it's like this is the last chatter and like one final night out. And I just thought I was really hoping it'd be a big night out and just hoping I'd get laid finally.

26:44Everyone else got laid this season except for me. And I'm the slottiest one. Let me be a slut. Yeah, so she can't sleep because of her toe. And Josh can't sleep because Dominic, the cartoon's being mean to him. And I like this because Dominic goes, you're no good, mate. Your food is shit. You're not creative enough. Your mustache looks like a joke. I was like, yes, coming for the mustache, Dominic. He's like, wait a second. I'm starting to think this is the below deck staff trolling me now. Are you guys doing that? Because I don't know. I like my mustache. That's one thing I'm confident about.

27:15It's just Anna. Honey. So Max goes down to talk to Kathy for anyone who's interested in this. Mademoiselle, which is his code word for I want to have a serious conversation because that's what he says. every time and she's like oh so you want to speak to me now that's kind that's kind of you and he's like yes well i just i need to have a little nap so sorry for yesterday it's just stressing me you know i didn't sleep she's like well neither could i but mainly because i was so hungry because i couldn't have my chicken nuggets and this is and then she hugs him she's like come here she takes him she cradles his head in her arms and she's like this is the only way that we're going to work as if we speak it through and he's like oh for sure you are the most important person on the planet i just want to be sure that you know this because i don't have family because one time my mother chose a chicken nugget over me and uh my way of love is different for me it's like it's a bit more strong and she's like i get that that's why you're an obsessive stocking baby pants and i love that and you'll never be too much for someone that can't get enough of you I want one day a woman to look at you the way that I look at chicken nuggets you know the only way this does work is if we speak it through um but I just want to say no promises on the listening to it through so go on have at it you know what would you feel better if you said everything in French because I can't understand that I saw that on a tv show recently with some Russian and uh it seemed to work for them but in my case it's a way for me to be able to focus on something else while you feel like we're communicating.

28:52Okay, thank you so much. So then they get an end to their romantic black and white movie and it says Fiend as they kiss. And then Aisha comes to the crew mess and finds Kizzy crying. And it's like, how did that happen? Did you buy me chance, my guy with the trash can's girlfriend?

29:13She's like, oh, I think it's broken. I don't know how I'm going to work. She's like, well, Kizzy, okay, well. So she goes up to Sandy and she's like, Kizzy's down in the crew mess. She's been up since 3 a.m. because of whatever's wrong with her toe and whatever's wrong with her stupid personality. Oh, maybe she broke it. So she's like, I know, poor girl. So now we cut back to Kizzy and Joe and Joe's making a joke. And now Kizzy's laughing as if she's not in any sort of pain. And they're trying to figure out this whole picnic situation. because there's going to be a picnic. And then Captain Sandy brings, he's like, Kizzy, Kizzy, Kizzy, Kizzy, come to the bridge.

29:55Sorry about that staircase. I guess it would be better if I came to you, but. I know, I love that. I love that she's like, oh, hey, lady with a broken foot, come up the stairs to see me. That would be great. Climb them. Climb. Climb, sucker. Oh, you need an x-ray. Let me talk to the medic. So she gets her a doctor. And now it's time for the guest to wake up. And someone's pissed. They're like, oh my god, I can't believe you want me on I was having a nightmare about crab legs I had a dream That there was like so many crab legs And they were topped with truffles And I was like, this, this is the yacht That I wanted to be on And then our yacht crashed and every other yacht And I was like, yeah So now it's time to discuss the beach picnic The big dramatic moment on every below deck Who's doing the beach picnic So Aisha asked Josh if he's going And he's like, no, I've got a lot to do And she's like, really?

30:47And he goes, I haven't even started dinner yet. All right. I mean, what do you think things plate themselves? Do you? Do you know that it will take me 30 seconds to put each piece of steak on a plate? I can't possibly do a picnic with that sort of time pressure. I'm sorry. You'll just have to go without me. So Josh is like, no, I am not going to the beach. But then they're not going to have a chef at the beach, which is going to be a little bit of an issue. yeah and he's like i mean please it's fucking sandwiches and a couple of salads like they'll be fine um so yeah there's some sociology happening up on deck you know what you know here's the thing with this generation you guys you youngins you guys generation you guys don't have strong men those are not strong men analysis you're so right you can't what happened to the days when you could find a man who would travel the world to find a king crab leg for you gone No men like that anymore.

31:44And all these feminists are making men weak. And we need strong men because it's a balance. You know, you got to have strong men and the weak women like us who just need a man to come along. And I'm like, yeah, you're a real you're a real wilting Daisy over there, whatever they call it. Blushing Daisy. But also, I don't know that she's wrong. I mean, I'm looking around this cast. I'm like, OK, I'm trying to find proof that you're incorrect. Like, yeah, what happened to the day where a guy will come out and club a woman over the head, drag her back into the cave, and then ask for dinner? God, I miss them days.

32:17You know what I hate? I hate that those damn feminists being strong and advocating for themselves, and that makes the men weaker as a result. And if we have to choose between a weak woman and a weak man, obviously, we want weak women, right? Get the strong men back here, feminists. Go away. Yeah, we go. We figured it out. Burn in your bras. What's going to hold up these titties?

32:40Love the logic on this show. Super classy group. They get better with each clip. They really do. So now Aisha is going to send Kathy to the beach to help with the picnic. And Kizzy may have broken her toe. So she's going to have to leave. She's going to have to be thrown in the wood chipper. Captain Sandy goes and talks to the guest. She's like, so guys, can you imagine what it would have been like yesterday? Okay. Sorry. I'm late to watch another new show that I'm dabbling in. It's called Told You So. It's a great TV show. I love to binge it. Sometimes I just watch episodes over and over again.

33:18I go, told you so. Time for Told You So. So Annalise is like, Sandy, I don't even know what's going on right now. I said three times yesterday. Three times. Okay. Guess what? Guess Sandy's right. Okay. And they're always like, trust Captain Sandy. I guess trust Captain Sandy. I don't know. There's Captain BB to you. So then they love. You think I'm funny? They love their breakfast. The tender is on its way to get Kizzy to take her to the doctor. And Kizzy's like, oh, Joe, I think I've got like. He's like, clear me to you. It's like, probably. It's what a tragedy this will be if it's the last time I see Kizzy.

33:57Oh, shut the fuck up. Just. Yeah, that's exactly what I said to my TV. I said, shut the fuck up, bro. yeah seriously um i i shed a tear for you lizzie bennett so then um kizzy's like crying and she's like oh my toe my toe and meanwhile it's time for the the picnic the picnic's got to get ready so then um you know they're they're assembling all that stuff and kathy josh tells kathy to dress the salad and she's like but you're the chef why should i dress the salad this is crazy so they're packing up this picnic understaffed, there's no kissing everything and Joe's telling Kathy, oh, I should have kissed her toe before she left.

34:42No, you should have thrown yourself overboard before she left and done us all a favor. Yeah. So now everybody gets on the tender and Annalise is walking on the naughty board to get there and she's like, oh my god, it's so wobbly. And then Kathy's bitching that she has to dress salads. She's like, this is really difficult. I mean having to put dressing on a salad and then on a plate. A card. I can't believe we're having to do this alone. And it is kind of shitty because they're all sitting there under a tent and Kathy's like unpacking and unwrapping these things. Although I feel like they should have gone there before the guests to set that up.

35:16I mean, Kathy says - They usually do, right? Yeah, she says, the chef's over here an hour beforehand preparing the food to make sure it's still five star. But instead they just sent a stew and I'm packing a bag like a packed lunch. I'm like, she's right. I think that Josh should be there. But also, why don't you guys go ahead of time with this with the sandwiches and the salads? Yeah. So, yeah. So Kathy's like, well, we have a day and a half of this charter season. I mean, it would it should matter to everybody on the boat that we're giving five star service. And Josh has just given up. And, you know, I mean, look, part of me is like, I mean, it's a salad.

35:50It's not that hard. But the other part of me sees that Josh completely has. And he's being a big fucking baby. like josh was pretty good this whole season because he really wasn't called out on anything other than the vegan guy but the second he gets called out and it's such a minor thing too it's like use plates he's like oh god everybody sucks this whole thing fuck everybody you know yeah he's ridiculous so meanwhile um so v and max are left on the boat while everyone's on the picnic uh at least from the um the deck team and then max is like oh i need to get some more sleep which He does not need more sleep, but he's decided he does need.

36:25And Nathan never said that he could go down, but he decides he's going to go down. And he's like, well, the chart is good. The guests are good. There's a moment where I need to settle down. It's like not going to come from Nathan in his bullshit position. So stand up for your hats, you know. This is the guy who wanted to be lead deckhand, who was rallying to be lead deckhand. And he's constantly going to bed. He drives me so nuts. And V is annoyed because now she has to basically do the work for both of them because he's not there. so Nathan's like did you guys deck refresh and she's like well like I literally ate lunch and Max has been down and he's like oh for fuck's sake Max that's what you get for keeping Max instead of keeping Gail so Aisha is Aisha checks on Kizzy she'll survive unfortunately and then Josh asks Kathy how lunch was when she gets back and he's like I mean it was hectic like with dressing plating and then serving I mean it was quite a bit for me to do all in one Especially without Kizzy And he's like right He's getting all mad And she's like but you know It's just a lot going on We're not getting any rest And he goes well I don't get a lot of rest any day So And then he's mad He's like you're fucking kidding me Here's what I'm asking you to do for lunch Okay Move this from here to there That's what makes everything go to shit Really the fact that I wasn't there to put a sandwich on a plate Well it seems like you have a hard time putting anything on a plate So I would mind your I know that's true He's been complaining about how hard plating is.

37:51And then she complains about it. And he's like, oh, God, it's the simplest thing on the planet. So it's the last day. They're excited. And Joe's like, okay, I hate to miss this. I hate to miss this, Nathan. But I'm longing to kiss Gizzy again. I'm so fucking horny over it because I can't have it. I just want to kiss Gizzy. I was like, oh, my God. No one cares that you have to obsess over this every single waking moment, especially to your boss who told you not to do this. Yeah. And Nathan's like, oh, for fuck's sake, it's so disrespectful. And so Nathan does his whole speech about how he's such an adult now.

38:27He's grown so much. And maybe Joe, he just doesn't like Joe because he's grown so much and Joe hasn't grown so much. which no you're pretty much doing the same thing obsessing over like your extracurriculars who you also kind of fucked over this season so whatever Nathan I'm not buying it from you either so they hate each other now basically and it looks like next week it's going to come to a head and they will no longer be bros no

39:01well that's it we'll see what happens but that is it a lot of people trash trashy people trashy people yeah all right everybody well thanks so much for being with us for another episode of what what crappens go grab your tickets for the golden crappies on february 27th over at watch what crappens.com and we'll talk to you next time bye

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