


27 Jan 2026 · 48m · 15 chapters

3186 Below Deck Med S10E18 Part One: The Long Kizz Goodnight
This is part 1 of a 2-part recap! Below Deck Mediterranean sputters to a close as nearly every person on the boat finds someone to kiss, except the chef. Plus, the mawb wives leave and a baby arrives.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes.
Discussion on current events and the importance of distractions amidst chaos.
“Like, thank goodness to be able to watch that stupid show these days because the news is horrific.”
Hosts reflect on Bravo celebrities taking public stands on issues.
“There's a lot that's gone down in this 14 years.”
Recap and analysis of the Below Deck Med season finale episodes.
“I'm just at a level where I feel like I can make bad decisions.”
Continued discussion about yacht life and interactions among crew and guests.
“So people are working stuff and Annalise is harassing Kathy about crab legs.”
The discussion begins with the guests wanting to eat at 10 PM, leading to humorous exchanges about dinner timing.
“You know, I was thinking maybe we could do something a little creative tonight If you're using ice, you know Maybe you could put it on a plate And then we can get Joe down here and he could fuck ice How about that?”
A debate arises over texting styles between characters, particularly focusing on Kizzy's text messages and their implications.
“So when she was texting all this stuff, basically what she said was, guys, I have to be in crutches and a boot.”
An engaging story unfolds about the mob's involvement in illegal poker games, revealing surprising details about organized crime.
“There's just no easy solve on this one, unfortunately.”
Nathan daydreams about a future with Gail as he reflects on their budding relationship, despite the chaos around them.
“And the next person that says that's being thrown off.”
Kizzy returns to the boat in a dramatic fashion, causing tension among the crew, especially V, while navigating her relationship with Joe.
“So they hang up and Joe and Kizzy reunite.”
Discussion on Joe's negative influence on others and emotional reactions.
“But what hurts more than watching Joe is that watching that Joe can still affect people.”
Chefs discuss dinner preparation and guests' reactions to the food.
“Gosh, I can't imagine all the people who are like, you know what?”
Exploration of characters' emotional struggles and romantic dynamics.
“And you're on a soccer field and it's got nowhere else to go.”
Tension escalates between characters revealing deeper issues.
“and he's like, did you have a fun night?”
Explore the escalating tension between Nathan and Joe as they confront each other.
“that doesn't sit right with me, don't act the big man or I'm going to smack the shit out of you.”
Witness the aftermath of the confrontation and some reflections on Nathan's journey.
“Next morning they wake, everyone wakes up.”

Get the gist, explore an idea or ask about something said.
On Watch What Crappens, what are the key points of this episode?
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.
0:21Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Karam. How's it going, Ronnie? Well, hello. Good. What's going on with you? Not much. Today we are talking about the Below Deck Med season finale. You know, it's been craziness. Yeah, I know. Like, thank goodness to be able to watch that stupid show these days because the news is horrific. We got a lot of people who thanked us over the weekend. Like, thank you so much for distracting me during these crazy times. And that's what we are really trying to do is provide a haven for distractions.
1:07But sometimes the truth is we just like, you can only tune out the outside world so much. And like, it's just, it's, it's despicable what's happening out there. I'm horrified, honestly, by everything that's happening with ice, horrified by the murder of Alex pretty and Renee good Keith Porter and the six other people who've been murdered I think this this this this agency is the six others role Jesus Christ isn't that crazy I have a friend in Minnesota her nephews crazy that we're all just kind of standing around I mean I don't even know what to do at this point about it it's like raise money well I donated complaining yeah I mean I'm donating too but it's like what do you fucking do it's like you donate your money like what do you do i mean one of them was up there yesterday one of the military ice people was giving a speech yesterday like you speak out against this and you say stuff against this and we i think we've seen the consequences of that yeah you're fucking murdering people like yeah well what are you supposed to do you know don't and yeah and don't gaslight us okay we we are professional examiners of gaslighting we watch the real housewives so we know when it's happening okay and don't do it Don't do it to us because we have eyes and ears.
2:20And that's like one thing that's just absolutely, you know, a really like sickening side effect of all this is that we, that not only is this agency out of control, they've been here in LA, they've been to many people's cities and we're seeing firsthand people that we know who are kind of are living in terror, but on top of that, then they're going to gaslight us. Be like, you know, this guy with his camera was, was trying to come out and massacre these agents. No, no. No, so we are like, fuck this. It's an utter shit show out there right now. It's another shit show. But that's why we're also here.
2:55Because we want to provide, at the same time, we want to provide distraction from it. We know you can't put your head in the sand and ignore what's going on in the outside world. But you can also have some sanity in the sense of like, we deserve some sanity. We deserve to be able to laugh and have a moment where we can, before we go back to the headlines. So that's what we're trying our best to do over here. Yeah, that's what we do. I mean, we've been here for 14 years. There's a lot that's gone down in this 14 years. I mean, especially the last decade. It's been fucking crazy out here. And just because we're not on here every day screaming our heads off about it doesn't mean that we don't care and that we don't live in the same country as you do.
3:31So just try and remember that, you know, be kind to each other, even when the shitheads are at your door. You know, just remember that we have each other and count on each other because that's all you can really do. Yeah, exactly. And it's been really cool. By the way, it's been really interesting seeing the various Bravo celebrities who have taken stands. Obviously, Andy Cohen took a big stand last night on Watch What Happens Live. I saw Molly and Wittner from Southern Charm protesting, going out there and protesting. I was not expecting that. Because you never know with Southern Charm. You never know where anyone stands, right?
4:09With Bravo in general, you never know where anybody stands. With Bravo in general. I mean, my God. I'm waiting for Ramona to drop just a problematic video, right? As we get ready for Vicky, as we get ready for Vicky to return to Orange County and Gretchen and these kinds of people, you know, Vicky, who just posted some pro ice bullshit the other day. It's like, you know, what is, you know, what's the line and what's the line where you're like, well, I'm done with this, you know, but being done with it doesn't really help anything. because we're living in the world with these people, you know? So I say, you know, my only thing that I've ever had, my defense weapon, my defense has always been to mock you and to laugh at you.
4:55So that's what I will continue to do because that's really the only tools I was given in this area. So those are the tools I'm going to use, you know, and we need to all use the tools that we have. So, yes, that is 100 % correct. correct mockery is mockery is mockery is what i'm gonna lean on but also i donated and that made me feel that made me feel good but it's a it's it's a brutal world out there so uh but over in the mediterranean guess what there's a yacht you know let's talk about people on a yacht today in a world that's burning down around our fucking heads at least there are people like joe who's just walking on a beach carrying a chair and saying things like kizzy's fucking naughty mate i just want to smell her vagina you know dare to dream dare to dream hopefully he's gonna get that he's able to get that glade plug-in going fill his nostrils that glade plug-in the goop plug-in plug-in plug-in yeah so we start off where uh we start off with a season uh of craziness you know like a this this season on below deck and then we end up on the beach where they're cleaning up the beach picnic and nathan's like ah you need to leave kizzy alone mate and joe's like oh i want to smell our vagina.
6:25I'm just at a level where I feel like I can make bad decisions. Yeah, you have one day to get your dick wet and you're going to try and do that on your last day. And Nathan's like, you need to chill with the flirting with kids. I've always been able to chat shit with Nathan and have a bit of a laugh. But now I don't know what's changed. I'm like, because now he's the boss and he realizes how incompetent you are and also how irresponsible you are with other members of his team. That's what's changed. uh so also nathan nathan it was all good with nathan when he was doing the same thing two weeks ago but um now nathan has a girlfriend that he's trying to impress and win back and so he's gonna stand up a little bit more to you i mean let's face it nathan's not suddenly like this great person okay i'm not buying any of this well again and also his his antics outside of the show have really soured me on him, which is too bad because on the show, I do like him quite a bit.
7:23And I really, really loved how he just kind of like put Joe in his place, um, you know, late at night in their room. And I was like, Oh, that is like, I love this. I was like too bad. I know that he's a shithead in real life. Damn it. Damn it. Um, so Nathan's like having that person who is like the party playboy. On the last two years, Joe did bring out that side of me that's a bit boisterous and I'm not proud of. I'm like, he didn't bring it out on you. You brought it out on you. I have to say, you can't blame everything on Joe as much as he is a shithead. But yeah, it's immature. It's just time to move on to a different chapter.
8:04So V comes to pick him up on the tender and on the boat. Jennifer, the primary, is like, hey, it's your name, Alicia. Come over here. Light with me on the lounge. Come on, light down. You know what, guys? Let's have a discussion. What do you call tomato sauce? Gravy or sauce? This is the existential question of our time. Finally, Jennifer is here. It's in the name, Jennifer. You just called it tomato sauce. Has anybody ever ordered a tomato gravy? No. No one orders tomato gravy. It's called sauce. Sauce. Or gravy. Gravy or sauce. Sauce. So Frank's like, we call it gravy on Rhode Island. And someone else goes, sauce.
8:49Gravy sauce. Thank you. Gravy is brown. When I think of gravy, I think of brown things. Yeah, so what do you call marinara sauce then? I call it marinara sauce. What am I, a fucking idiot? Frank, what do you, you literally just said, what do you call marinara sauce? Marinara sauce. That's what it is, Frank. Just called it a sauce, Frank. I don't want gravy. Sorry, Aisha, this is a fight between Italians. So Aisha's like, these guys are fun. They're like 74 % scary. And we did not get off to a good start. And we see images of that one crazy girl being like, where's my king crab and my truffles?
9:32You know what? You're the captain. So why do we care about wind if we've got a captain? Am I right? How am I supposed to be on a luxury yacht with that clams casino? I know. But by the end of it, they'll be yelling, Oh, isn't this fantastic? I can forget it. Now we get my favorite, a call from Leah. Morning, baby. Good morning, baby. I'm coming to see you. You're so cute, baby. I can't wait to be with you, baby. Please tell me you've got the B-man hair and the capri pants, baby. Oh, yeah. You see the new trailer for Masters of the Universe? Wow. talk about a fashion vision board. Okay, can't wait to see you.
10:15You leave today. I'll see you very soon, BB. My BB. Little Bear says hi, BB. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.
10:32So people are working stuff and Annalise is harassing Kathy about crab legs. She's like, did he get King Crab Legs? Did he get King crab legs? Did he get King crab legs? For fuck's sake. Kathy is, I think Kathy's just like sitting at a table. She's just, I feel like Kathy is at her wit's end, but she's too British to be able to show it. But she's just sitting there and she goes, I'm going to let the chef surprise you on that front. She's like, I don't know. I don't give a fuck. I'm dealing with bigger things than your fucking King crab legs. So get out of my face. But since she's British, it's like, have a great day.
11:11she just she's got that british thing where she's like i hate you either way like either way whether or not he gets crab legs for you i hate you and i wish you were dead you know but cheerio uh so kizzy is still in the hospital i guess over her fucking karma toe and she sends joe a picture while he's vaping in his bunk and she's like is this a sexy toe or what and he's like would you like me to kiss it and make it better and then uh nathan goes up to max and max is being quiet and by the way i'm i just moved on because i'm like i just can't even think about joe kissing gizzy's toe and flirtatious and the boner yeah i was impressed not going there i'm just not doing it i'm actually impressed because i felt i feel like in real life like if they weren't on a tv show joe would have dumped her the second she broke something, you know?
12:02Yeah. Yeah. But he still needs to - She's damaged. She's damaged goods. So - I'm not ready for this. I've never done this. I've never dated someone with a broken toe. I don't know if I can do it. So then Max is saying, he's like, coming into this season, I had to plan to be lead deckhand. And then one day, I really want to be bossing to show how I evolve, you know, but lead deckhand didn't work because of my enemy. Nathan, so how can I get my best when this guy not appreciate, you know? Your best wasn't even good. It wasn't good. Like, you're off letting guests drive tenders and putting guests at risk by, like, dragging them too fast on the thing and bouncing them off.
12:46Then you go to bed early. Why would you think that you would be led that cancer? Why? He's doing the old-fashioned, well, I'm not putting out a good performance because my boss didn't inspire me. Right? Like, how can I give my... Yeah. I'm not appreciating that. I need to be inspired to do my job. Your page should be the inspiration. Yeah. My job to inspire you? Get to work. Lame ass. So Captain Sandy goes to check on Josh, who's stressing, because plates, plates, plates. Why would they do this to me? Plates. I wasn't raised for that. And she's like, hey there, how you doing? What are you doing for dinner tonight?
13:26He's like, well, scallop with dry ice. That's going to be plated Don't worry, it'll be on the plate So wait, you're going to get dry ice? Well, that's good, I don't want wet ice Don't make it wet ice That's one thing I demand on this boat We will not have wet, I know it's going to be dry So is that like the fog? Is it smoking? How am I supposed to see in that? You know what, this would be a nice family style meal, I think Damn it! Now, when you said that The scallops and the dry ice are going to be plated Are those multiple plates? No, just one plate, that would be passed around Okay, see, you almost got me there Separate plates for each scallop, Josh You can do it, come on, different plates You know, I was thinking maybe we could do something a little creative tonight If you're using ice, you know Maybe you could put it on a plate And then we can get Joe down here and he could fuck ice How about that?
14:15Be fun Oh, yeah Oh, I love that So the guests want to eat at 10 They're like, eat at 10pm Eat at 10pm We're saucer gravy Discuss sauce is neither a sauce nor a gravy discuss um so asia's in the galley with kathy and um and they're just seeing what what kizzy has um said like because because because he's texting whatever and so asia because he basically said basically i squeezed my toe whilst i screamed at him multiple times it's basically text messages about her experience getting an x-ray which is about as experience as exciting as one could imagine and then um nathan decides even though he can't stand joe and kizzy flirting he's like all right you go pick up kizzy with a with the tender from the from the from the shore so doesn't seem smart because he's trying to like lower these two although part of me thinks you guys you know what just make out now on the tender while no one can see you and then you get out of your system and then you get onto the boat no because that's not what they want to do like the whole thrill to them is pissing the other people off because they're both you know like kizzy like getting onto the camera when they were secretly kissing on purpose and then doing all this stuff in front of me on purpose like that's part of the thrill you know so they could have gone on the thunder and they could have just fucked there and been done with it and been fine everything would have been fine but that's not the thrill you know the thrill is being assholes also i have to just this is just more proof that kizzy is a monster and a horrible human being.
15:50So when she was texting all this stuff, basically what she said was, guys, I have to be in crutches and a boot. That's all she said. But she's one of those people who texts you 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 lines to say that. That's a lot. I hate that. I hate when people are like, so how you doing? Bloop. The next thing. Bloop. The next thing. Bloop. Hi, love. Bloop. the next thing bloop the next do you think i don't have a fucking life i'm ignoring your texts on purpose i'm trying to watch something on youtube and your texts keep popping up you because you're a fucking monster who can't stop sucking my time kizzy well this takes us back to the classic debate between bethany franklin and carol radzwell of one big block of text versus many individual texts because i think that they fought about that in the reunion when carol had her um tootsie glasses on and i think the issue was that bethany would send her tootsie glasses i remember that wasn't she wearing like a turtleneck ball gown at that one too yeah she was she was actually just like wearing something fucking crazy yeah she was and and uh i seem to remember there was some issue because it was like bethany was either wrote too many text messages or it was a wall I don't remember what it was, but I just remember debating this.
17:11I regrettably do fall a little bit more into the multiple texts at once camp because a lot of times I have a thought and then I text and then I have a follow up thought. But I try to like add BTW to acknowledge that this is an ad. You are a BTW person. Like, oh, here's another thought. Like, I think the BTW implies if I had thought about this in time, I would have included it in the first text. But also, like, a wall of text is annoying, too, when you get, like, something that looks too big. So it is nice to break it up, but then you get too many notifications. There's just no easy solve on this one, unfortunately.
17:49Well, I understand. But, Ben, this is 11 texts. It's 11. And let me read them. Multiple times, one text. Looked at the x-ray, one text. Refused to show us, one text. and just said one text regardless of what it is you need a boot and crutches one text i was like cool okay i can see the x-ray one text he was like do you need the crutches one text right one text thanks love one text is it so rude like fuck off bro wait wait is it possible i hate to be in kizzy's defense is it possible that asia was responding to these but the production only put up kizzy's responses because why is she saying right and why is she saying thanks love i don't know i mean she's not ee cummings she's not did i just did i just excoriate kizzy because i'm reading text wrong whatever give it to her let her have it who cares she's gone she's out of her lives no because like i'm more mad at her now about the text than anything she's done all season and i don't think that's fair because i probably just read them wrong and you know like two weeks ago i like let max have it and max wasn't even the one throwing chicken nuggets and i knew it like well i think i'm i think i'm misplacing some of my anger at this point i have to say i was not looking at the screen at this moment so i don't i can't say one way or another it's like i looked down at my phone at my own text messages and then when i looked up like i heard asia say oh she needs a beat and that's all i heard that's all that seemed that mattered but I miss the visuals of this.
19:22So I, but I kind of do that too. Whenever I'm watching, when I'm watching TV and someone like checks a text, I check, I check my text too. Like, well, maybe I have, like I'm competing with the people on TV. I'm like, well, well maybe I got a text too. So you're not the only, you know, in real life when someone checks their phone and then everyone pulls out their phone to check their phone. Yeah. It's like, it's like coughing. But either way, Nathan, Nathan sends Joe to pick up, to collect Kizzy. And then Joe on the radio goes, I can't wait, which of course everyone can hear. So V is like, oh wow, real mature.
19:54I mean, this guy's a real piece of work. So then, um, uh, the guests want to eat at 10 and Josh is like 10 PM. I mean, hello, sir. You're in Europe. You're in Barcelona. Okay. Everyone should have had a nice siesta at this point. So, um, then I love this. The women are sitting around in the, in the hot tub and the mom, I think this is the mom, Jennifer. She's like, all right, you know what? You can't just go inject yourselves. Okay. You got to be an artist to do it. Okay. Case, case in point. Look at your lips. We got to get those fixed. Got to get them fixed. They look like crab legs. Ironically.
20:30Yeah. I love that. I love the honesty. Yeah. We got to fix those. I love those look terrible, but they, you're, all of your lips look terrible. You all look crazy. Okay. It's like one, one, one terrible telling another terrible, you know, like don't throw, don't throw M &Ms in the camp. Jennifer. this woman jennifer i find her voice to be very comforting which is not what you'd expect because she does admittedly sound like a buzzard at times she's like sauce but i i think it's just like being from new york you just hear this you hear this accent and this kind of like cadence to the to the to the patter in way like i had never realized how much it seeped into my into my consciousness until i came out here because it's not like you know if you come back to new york with me and hang out with my friends or my family.
21:19We're not all sitting there like, oh my God, what's going on? Is it called sauce or is it called gravy? We don't sit around talking like that, but you just, it is around. You hear it so much that when I hear these women talking and the way that they, you know, talk back about what you can't, you can't inject yourself. What are you talking about? I'm getting injected. You need an artist to do that. Speaking of what you're going to fix your lips. They look terrible, but you look beautiful afterwards. It's like, I just love the way she's saying it. You know, well, don't throw flames when you live in the wax house.
21:47That's what I'll say to that lady. So now we see shots of people working again and it's a disco party night. Okay. I don't think we want to take these people back to a time where the mob was actually in power. Don't give them the power. Especially they are. There was just a giant mob last month. Really? I think remember that I feel like we talked about it. You know, there's this giant gambling thing that happened in New York city that involved several professional athletes like Chauncey Billups, who's a coach I think in Detroit and for the NBA. And basically the mob was setting up private poker games.
22:33This is actually incredibly fascinating. They said a private poker games, like high roller things, whatever where people who are wealthy would come in to gamble. And these were illegal poker games. and they'd be gambling a huge amount of stuff. And they would use people like Chauncey Billups and others to lure in people to these high stakes games. But what people didn't realize was that the mob was cheating and they had like cameras and the card shufflers and this and that. And like, it's actually an incredibly high tech Oceans 11 kind of thing. And it was a massive, massive sting and the FBI cracked down and it was a huge, huge organized crime situation.
23:15so uh just another thing that's more interesting than kizzy just you know well good for them making it making it work and changing times rapidly changing times i know keeping up with tech mob tech yeah i like it yeah because you never thought the mob would be like so technical you know so good at stuff like that it is kind of funny you don't think of like tony you know tony soprano or christopher soprano or anyone in the sopranos being able like to sit down and hear a pitch from a tech person be like this is what we gotta do we gotta insert this code into the card counter and it's gonna let you know what cards in which people's hands you know but all right guys i got a new plan for the future of this family we're learning dos that's it we're learning dos okay we're going back to basics okay what's your plan no we're going to use the basic computer language basic like in 321 contact magazine
24:15okay hypercard it's the future everyone all right we'll find each other on myspace all right make up a fake number on myspace we'll send each other codes these things yeah yeah i don't even want to hear it from you unless it's in html you got it all right i'm getting concerned And P.S. It's not fucking called gravy. And the next person that says that's being thrown off. All right. So it's just go party night. And Max is still pretending that he knows how to meditate. He's in his room saying woosah a lot. And meanwhile, Nathan is FaceTiming with Gail. And he's like, what's Menorca like? And she's like, well, I had some ice cream.
25:03And then we went off on a hike and a swim. Okay, so what are you doing tonight? I think we're just going to take it easy. Taking it easy from all that hiking and swimming and ice cream having. So then Nathan's like, a fact. Well, yeah, I guess the hiking part is. I guess the swimming part is too. I don't know. Mental lie. I need a nap after a nap. I'm exhausted after I take a nap. I can only imagine how people who hike feel, especially after ice cream. I need a nap. So Nathan's like, the fact that she didn't jump on that plane and go straight home. shows me that she doesn't want to call it twit.
25:37And I'm sitting here daydreaming about moving forward and having a beautiful life together. And could you imagine me walking her down the aisle? I'm crying me eyes out. I'm crying me eyes out. Not for fuck's sake. Okay, settle down. Settle down. I know you're in love, but you're also bored. So let's just get back to reality, sir. So they hang up and Joe and Kizzy reunite. And she's like, I'm back, baby. Girl, you've been gone off of the show for like 23 minutes of airtime. I mean, this between last episode of this, she's acting like she's been gone for three years. You like went to the doctor.
26:17We're gone for an hour and came back. So she's like, the doctors did tell me when I was in the hospital, he said, someone needs to give me a kiss on the lips. Why am I dying? That's my prescription is a kiss on the lips. The problem is kissing you on the lips. Then they need a prescription. You see, it's just a it's a vicious cycle. so um now they're flirting on the boat and he's like i'm going as slow as possible on the boat to get as much time as i can with the kisser and uh they go back to the ship and um let's see she face plants right on to joe and he's like because she like falls out she can't she doesn't make the transition from tender to ship very smoothly and the v's annoyed but she's just trying not to show it too much because she doesn't want to give them hoes the satisfaction her words uh she goes but i think i might lose it eventually so now people are getting ready but also v like i get that v's hurt and these people are extremely obnoxious but you won't you dated that man for five minutes too like all of you i think i'm frustrated at the end and i'm just like you stop it too like i can't what's even worse than joe is somebody being affected by joe you know joe's like the croup.
27:30Like, you know it's gonna... Well, I guess you would be affected by the croup. Joe is like typhoid. Joe? Joe is like consumption. Joe is like the malaria I got on an expedition into the jungle. I don't know where I am today.
27:56Joe is like... I'm breaking down today, Ben. What can I tell you? But yeah, Joe's just, never mind. It doesn't matter. But what hurts more than watching Joe is that watching that Joe can still affect people. You know, Joe's a disgusting human. We all know Joe's disgusting. Anybody who's watched his show knows Joe is a disappointment and he's gross. So stop being so affected by Joe's, you know? But I am actually okay with her being affected by Joe. I do want her to move on. um but i also feel like it's only been like it's also been like five days and they're stuck in the same place together and she has to see these two idiots every single day and she's also quite frankly mourning still and on top of that i'm glad that she's annoyed because i like that joe doesn't get to be let off easily that's his whole thing his whole thing you know was that he came crying to her like i did something bad that i don't deserve you and she's like it's okay it's cool and he was like oh my god it's great i got i love victoria and then the moment she's like actually it is fucked up then he starts being a narrative that she is a demon because he's just not comfortable with people not liking him and that's that is what's happened now with with nathan it's happened with her so i'd like that she's actively not liking him because he can't deal with it that's and that's how people like him are i don't think it affects him at all that's what's bugging me it's like it doesn't affect him he's just gonna go make out with kizzy and like have his fun with Kizzy and you're the one who's like sitting there miserable.
29:23I mean, I think you should, I don't know, get some revenge. The thing about being stuck on a boat is you can't even get some revenge booty. Cause like, what are your options? The clown in the kitchen crying about plates. Like that's all she's got left. So like, what's she going to do? So most of it, it's not like I'm annoyed with her. I would just like to see her not be affected by a loser. You're too good for that. Yeah. So are you craving the sauce when it comes down to it? Are you going to be gravy? Are you going to be a sauce? Hey, what do you call marinara sauce? Trick question. It's called marinara sauce.
29:59So Josh is telling us that this last dinner means everything, but the guests have been a tough one. So he's going to just do some nice dishes. And he tries to say, he tries to do an American accent. He tries to say, get out of here. But instead he goes, get out of here. And then the producer just stared at him like, was that something? that was my New York accent well you didn't do it with a guitar in your hands so for that we thank you commercials here comes one right now so now Josh is telling Asha that he's got some truffles for Annalise by the way someone pointed out in the comments that he's served truffles this season so he's like they're out of season but he's already served them so that didn't really work but then they also suggested that maybe max ate them all because you know max is always eating there was that those were the last truffles in europe on that boat but he basically got some some shitty ones and he's gonna say that he got them imported from australia overnight because these people are idiots and um and you know and she'll be happy and of course she does wind up being happy um and then we see uh kizzy and she's she's hobbling around and Kizzy's like, I don't like crutches.
31:19I find them very difficult to use. Gosh, I can't imagine all the people who are like, you know what? I love crutches. Give me some crutches. I just want to go use some crutches every single day. Yeah. And she's telling this to V. And V's like, well, at least you're protected. That's really important. You know, we just want you to be healthy, Kizzy. And Joe's like, do you know where the mayonnaise is? And Kizzy goes, in me bummy. And he goes, yeah, that's probably going to be the best food I ever eat. Oh, God, just both of you. Just shut up. God, just go away. Sink the boat. Meanwhile, up at the table, Jennifer goes, the higher the hair, the closer to God.
32:00Which is funny because her hair is not high at all. It's just down. It's like flat and hanging down to her knees. Oh, closer to God. And then everyone is just like, we see their rooms. The rooms are like, it's just like clothes everywhere. It's a disaster. Yeah. So Annalise is like, well, Josh better not disappoint with dinner tonight. I'll tell you that much. And Jennifer's like, oh, my God, everyone's breasts look so good. I just want a motorboat. You're so awesome.
32:36And Josh serves his scallop ceviche with some king crab and truffle. So Annalise is like, oh, my God, for me. Oh, my God. Like, this is so nice. So have you ever had scallop ceviche? Yes. Is it like boogers? Tell me the truth. You know, we're some truth telling now. I don't think it's like boogers. But, you know, there's some people who feel like sushi just in general tastes like boogers. I know ceviche is not sushi, but like raw fish tastes like boogers. I enjoy I enjoy like a scallop sushi moment so I am I'm pro scallop ceviche okay I like a cooked scallop but raw scallop is just so like slimy to me it's not like normal sushi it's like a slimy sushi well I guess my input didn't really matter thanks for asking my opinion that you're not even going to take into consideration on your scallop journey.
33:39I am taking it into consideration. I'll maybe try it one day. That's why I'm asking you, you know, because to me it's just like a bowl of boogers at the mother load. I'm going to try some scallop ceviche at the mother load, really? I don't think so. That's not the place you want to get scallop ceviche. That's not where you want to really ingest anything. But I think, I don't know, I kind of feel like if your scallop ceviche or scallops taste like boogers, then something went wrong. I think that means there was probably over ceviche. I don't know. What am I talking about? I don't know what I'm talking about.
34:14And how do you know what boogers taste like, Ben? Well, that's the real question. We all know what boogers taste like. We were all children once. I mean, let's not act like we didn't have recess and you have a cold that day and that's not. It's coming down your nose. And you're on a soccer field and it's got nowhere else to go. It goes right in that mouth. It's just what kids do. We all know it Confessions So they get their starter And it's the dry ice thing Captain Sandy's like It's me So Asia's like He's such a good chef The guests are loving it I don't gotta knock him over the head And feed him to the fishes
35:01What are we exporting to Europe For our culture That's not the right thing to ask I know, but you know what? Terrible question right now So Josh is like So this is quite French flavors, spring cabbage Turbot has been Raised, there's a robot Turbot, robot Turbot, and then On top of the caviar, just for you Oh my god, caviar For me, like I Can't even But wasn't she the one complaining That the caviar was on top of the oysters Last week What didn't she complain about Let's be honest So Kizzy is sent to bed to rest her foot And she's like no no I'm resting I'm fine I'll stay awake She's like no you need to rest And also I need a rest from you You're really obnoxious I heard the mayonnaise and the asshole thing And that's just not acceptable Go to bed So then of course Joe carries her She's like, my knight in shining armor, he can carry me around all night.
36:08And he's like, it's just so hard not to kiss her. It's like, it's really not that hard to not kiss her. But what's the difference? Like, what's the difference between actually kissing her, but then doing everything that you guys are doing now? Like carrying her around and hugging all over each other and talking about eating manis out of her ass. Like, how is that much better? Just make out with her. Like, you guys have no respect anyway, so just do what you're going to do. It's bugging me because they're acting like they win some Puritan award. You know, like, wow, we really look at us. Look at the restraint.
36:39You're showing no restraint. So stop. Right. Right. So dinner is still being served. It's after midnight. And it's being served. And it's lobster and all sorts of stuff. And they are all loving it. And Nathan gets a text from Gail. And she's like, so we'll be heading back to Barcelona. and it's morning morning. And he's like, yes. So then he's like, yes. So I can't believe it. This is more exciting than when I found out that my sister has a new fiancee and is going to get married again. My faith in relationships is restored because my sister is going to get married. That was always going through his head.
37:25Yeah. He goes and gives Kathy a hug. and Kathy's saying how this week has been the most that she's ever cried and how Max has been the person that's seen her cry the most and probably also made her cry as well. Let's not forget. And then she's just saying how he scoops her up and kisses her and just gives her affection and yada, yada, yada. And how, but she's like, I think Max and I are on the same page. I mean, but I can never be so sure. It's been a bit of a roller coaster of a relationship, you know, where the highs are, well, we remember I'm the smart one. The lows are we remember he's the stupid one.
38:01And then you say, okay, I guess we'll see where this goes. So now Nathan is on the phone with Gail again, and he's like, did you have a fun night? She's like, I had a really fun night, actually. Did I tell you about the ice cream? Yeah, I did. That's nice. What are you doing tomorrow? More ice cream? Tomorrow? What's going on tomorrow? Oh, we're going out. Are you coming out with us? There'll be ice cream. am I coming out with you? I need to think about it. Am I ready to be hurt again? Am I ready for that? Yes, you're ready. You're staying in Barcelona for him. So stop acting like you're not going to go out.
38:37What are you going to do instead? You already ate ice cream. Will that be Van Leeuwen's? I'm not sure about that. Maybe Jenny is. Oh, don't know who that is. It's an American brand. It's delicious. So then, um, V is, he's just going through it. She's, and she's been going through it. And, uh, we see in the galley that Kathy is, telling Asha that she's like, I've got it. I'll handle them tonight, et cetera. And this is where Jennifer is like, who wants to get motorboated? And V basically goes out to the naughty boy and she lies down on it. And she starts to cry. This, of course, is the designated place to cry as evidenced by Lisa Barlow and V, the naughty boy.
39:19Heather Gay comes out. She's like, I'm just trying to be your friend, but you're a liar and a story planter. so nathan sees this and he goes and he's like what's wrong did did you not get ice cream today apparently that's the thing that people are doing and she's like oh it's like gave me a hug come on what's wrong she's like it's just like bond and kissy and joe and it's all together and it just sucks that i need to have a release at some point so he's feeling really bad for her because he's seeing her crying he sees that she's like working she works hard on his team she sees what's happened And she knows that she's been screwed over by Joe and that's just shitty.
39:58And the timing is awful. And, you know, it takes him back to being super protective of my sister. Yeah. And he says that he kicked his dad out of the house when he was 15 and that he had to be the protector for his mom. And so seeing V cry makes him sad. So then Joe, meanwhile, is partying at the disco. And Jennifer's like, hey, who's the girl with the boot? Who's that? She walks funny, huh? Let's trip her. I like her for you. I like her for you. You should get with her. She's a good girl. Get with her. So Nathan's like, if you're upsetting girls left, right, and center, then you need to take some accountability.
40:38I just want V to know. I've got her back. So Nathan just basically is like, don't let this affect you. I understand. Of course. I have a sister. So people start going to bed. Bedtime. Bedtime. Asha is complimenting Josh on his great food You were amazing
41:02That was a six minute amazing I hope that you really understood that He's like I got it Thank you Please leave I prefer stars Can we just go back to rating things with stars So Joe and Nathan are in their room And Joe's like what a season that was Oh man I can't wait I smell her vagina So then Nathan's like oh man Nathan's like angry And Joe picks up on it And Joe's like Are you good? He's like No it's just me She's crying He's crying Why is she crying? I thought everything was sweet I mean all I did was Make out with another girl While she was sick in bed On her boyfriend's Anniversary of his death Like what's wrong with that?
41:41He's like Don't be a fucking noob man I'm warning ya I'm warning ya And so he's in the top bunk And he's like Leaning out And he's We see him in like Night vision Like I'm warning ya Angry angry monk face. And Joe's like, oh God, look, now the big man's talking, huh? And he's like, yeah, the big man's talking because when I see a fucking woman crying on the fucking swim platform that doesn't sit right with me, don't act the big man or I'm going to smack the shit out of you. Everybody knows how you treat women when you don't like them anymore. You ghost them. You ghost them. That's what you're supposed to do.
42:12And Joe, that's right. That's how you operate. And she goes, oh really? Oh shit. So then Nathan's like, do you want to go right now? I mean, Nathan is angry. He's, and he is like in his face, basically. Like, I'm not fucking around. And she was like, come on, bro. He's like, well, then fucking behave yourself, will ya? Or I'm gonna fucking lose me cool. I'm gonna lose, I'm this close with ya. I'm this close. And behave yourself or shut the fuck up because it's gone too far. And he's like, oh, okay, okay. And he goes, don't pat my fucking arm, you fucking dick. I'm serious. I'm telling you this from the top bunk.
42:48It means something. And he's like, oh, oh, oh. Get in your fucking bed and just fucking behave yourself. I will wake up tomorrow fresh. Nathan's my best friend. And at the end of the day, you got monk hair for monk hair. And he's supposed to be in my corner. But I disagree with a lot of things he's done, you know. But I've not opened my mouth except to show my teeth like I'm doing right now. This is not a brotherly warning. This is an attack. It's an attack on me. No, it's a brotherly warning. It's not an attack. It's him being like, I've told you as your boss, three different times, stop doing what you're doing and you're still doing it.
43:27So now I'm mad. Fucking Joe. So Joe's like, okay, good night. Sorry, bro. Sorry, good night, bro. So they go to bed. It's awkward. Next morning they wake, everyone wakes up. V goes up to Kizzy to give her a hug and then she steps on her foot, which I loved. And Kizzy's like, oh! I was like, good for you, B. Good for you. He's like, whoops. So Captain Sandy comes down to Josh. And he's like, oh, wait, hey, how'd your dinner go last night? Anybody get lost in the fog? Dry ice? He's like, oh, really good. They enjoyed it. Yeah, it was plated. It was plated. I don't know if you heard, but it was plated.
44:07It was put on plates. Well, you know what? If you were a restaurant, I'd give you a letter grade of B. And I'd give it to you twice. Because guess who's coming to town today? Me, B. That's right. Oh, God, so exciting. You know, in the beginning for Nathan, it was a rough start. I'm just going to start reflecting on people. It was a rough start for Nathan. Remember when he knocked the boat into the lamp and it crashed? Oh, God, that was hilarious. He's a first-time bosun. But now we've got a smooth machine. You know what I wish we had? A smoothie machine, though, right? That would actually be quite refreshing in the morning.
44:40Look into that.
44:44Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark.
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This is part 1 of a 2-part recap!
Below Deck Mediterranean sputters to a close as nearly every person on the boat finds someone to kiss. Except the chef, of course. Plus, the mawb wives leave and a baby arrives. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.
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