#3210 Below Deck Down Under S04E02 Part 2: Muffin Compares To You

0:20Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part 2 of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. So Eddie is checking on the anchor and Joao is like, we're not going to use the starboard again if we can help it. So they're talking about that. And then Mike, who is doing origami with the toilet paper. Can we stop doing origami with toilet paper? Just stop it. That's done. That's been done by a cleaning lady who's really lovely. but I just don't want your fingers on my butthole and I don't want to waste the paper either.

0:58You know what I mean? Like I don't need your fingerprints on my butthole. Are you not even, are you not even down for just like a simple triangle fold? Not unless you're wearing gloves or something. Don't touch my toilet paper. I like it. I like to see my, here's what I like. My toilet paper dangling exactly at the level that I left it dangling because then I know it wasn't touched. Yeah. I'm okay with, I'm fine with the origami. I actually don't love when it's like all frilly like the way Mike did it, where there's like a fan shape that's been folded into it because then you have to like actually take it apart.

1:32Whereas a simple like triangle fold that's like start here. I like that. Yeah. Okay. I just picture your fingerprints on my butt. I don't like it. Yeah, but it's not like what I'm putting on to the fingerprints is like some beautiful cherry blossom that can not be sullied by some fingerprints. I feel like I'm doing worse things. That's like poop comes out of there. Yeah, that's true. Like poop comes out of there. But then that's another thing because poop, that's like what you use for poop. So like I don't need it to look prettier. Like you don't need to make me think it's a flower. Like I know it's what poop is going to be over in a couple of minutes.

2:13Yeah. I want the thing that I'm about to get dirty to be very clean. Okay. Yeah. I get it. No, I think there's logic to that. There's logic to that. Fingerprints, et cetera. Yeah. You don't shake hands and then wipe your eyes. So why would you like shake hands and then touch your butt hole with that person's hand? You know what I mean? Okay. So Joao, they're not talking about that. I'm just disturbed by it. he's like this is the most feminine thing I've ever done in my life which no it's not it's your hair and Jonah's like oh I wonder how breakfast is going if they're like strangling each other already yeah and we cut to Angie saying can I ask you a question I'm so curious you're telling her that I'm a horrible friend because I'm not using you to sell my home and Brittany's like your house is not selling I totally forgot about this fight well I have an executive custom built home with 360 views of Elektra on her horse It's$11 million if you want somebody's business.

3:16I don't want your business, okay? I don't need your business. So Jenna tells us, I'm manifesting to be each and every one of these women. Growing up, we lived a comfortable lifestyle, but my parents worked their asses off and they used to count every penny and that is just not going to be my life. I got into yachting to become top 1 % and I believe this job is a gateway to that. These women are on a yacht in Kanawan, bitching and moaning. I'm like, um, i i don't know how to break it to this poor girl i do not think by volunteering to being literally the help that that means you are somehow on the fast track to being the upstairs i don't know the fast track but i think it can happen you know i've watched i've read a lot of sydney sheldon books i've seen a lot of movies of course it can happen you know you can meet the right person.

4:06You know what I want to be? I want to be around it. You know, I want to be a captain of industry. I want to work at the country clubs. I want to be on the polo horses. That's why I signed up to be the Butler. I'm like, you know, I don't, there's no shame in those jobs. I mean, I guess, I mean, there is that movie, the Butler, there's no shame in those jobs, but I just also feel like when it comes to like rich people, that the moment that they see you as the Butler or this, the stew or the help, they don't see you as anything other than that. Well, that's why you change your name and your haircut.

4:39Well, I love when that happens. You don't just go like, hey, remember me? I was waiting on you last season. No, you show up as a different person. You're like, hello. It's me, Jenna. I'm not Jenna. I'm Belinda Valerie. And I have a Bob. But I love that she's the only one who really enjoys the housewives. She's like, they're a Amazing. I want to be them. I love them. So meanwhile, the fighting is still going on. And Brittany's like, it was an olive branch with me trying to sell your house. She's like, it's not good business to complain about me and then want my house. And Jenna's like, oh, God, aren't they amazing?

5:19It's like a masterclass of rich woman behavior.

5:25The first time that it's ever been said about the Real Housewives. this is kind of funny because i forgot this part when angie holds up a folder and it's like all these charts that britney has made about her house and she's this was this is what britney is doing in her downtime and britney's like you're welcome i mean it actually shows that britney does research and she did a lot of research on your house i mean i'm actually shocked that britney did that much work personally please that was just sheet music to the aladdin musical we all know she's It's like, wait a minute. What do you mean I don't have enough bedrooms?

6:02A whole new world? What is this? Who is Prince Ali? Well, Ali Baba had them 40 thieves. Shahamaradi had a thousand tales. But, Master, you're in luck because up my sleeves, I've got a brand of magic never fails. What? What? What is this? Wait a second. Why does it say the price of my house is... Wada ba, wah, wah. That doesn't even make sense. You guys, I need to put a pin in this because we got to get off the ball. So Dave's like, golly, golly. Breakfast is cleared and finished. So Jason's like, all right, four decks in by Anka. Joao, no commentary on that. We know what it means in Zim. Joao, get your hand off your deck.

6:51I can sense that that's where it is right now. All right, sorry, sorry. Wrong four deck. Wrong for that. Sorry, that was Beelzebub? Jowzebub? Whatever I call myself. Jowzebub? That's right. What does he call himself? Jowzebub? That's the bad side of me. He's gone now. This is a new Jow. Completely different. Captain Jowzebub. So now it's time to go to the Tobago Cays and the Grenadines. And Heather's like, you know, we want to sit back, sit around, talk shit. It's like, all right, then drop them off on the other side of the beach with some snorkels and some towels. And I heard if we can get some sort of dirty snow in the background, that'll make them feel at home.

7:31So enjoy. Meanwhile in the kitchen, Ben's like, nice, nice, nice, clean cuts. Wash that blade every time as well, please, my little, my little maple, my little maple ass. And otherwise you'll fuck up the egg white, all right? Oh, God, you just fucked up the egg white. What did I just say?

7:58so everyone the women arrive on the beach and um but Daisy's really upset because she's like the DAC team didn't lift the anchor on time and now the whole day is gonna be playing catch up it's the first beach setup of the season and we're gonna have to do it in front of the guests it's like being in bed with your hot hookup and slipping out a fart it's mortifying or when you realize your hot hookup is just the setting's a mess the timing's off The house halves don't need to know that. Distract, distract, distract.

8:31So they don't really need to distract them because they're not paying attention anyway. Lisa's just like, oh my God, I'm getting a massage. You have magic hands. And Bajul's like, no, you have magic back.

8:45That's a funny, I did not pick up on that, that she said that. That's a funny thing to say. You have magic back. Your back is massaging itself. you're not the first person he said that that's crazy it's just also funny that um daisy is so embarrassed that they have to set up this this uh this beach setup and while the women are there and can witness it i'm like you don't seem to understand these are women who've shot more than five scenes over the course of their show's entirety in like kirkland folding chairs in the parking lot like this is high glamour for them it is um so now the ladies are fighting about who's a supportive friend so lisa is telling meredith who has been accused of being a bad friend she's like you know what like i feel like you support me you know like mary said you know like i've told you you support me in private i mean i feel like you i feel like you do she's why I support you publicly as well, Lisa.

9:41Actually, do not be disgusting. Yeah, but I think more privately. If you think about it, like public, but in a private way. Like you went to a public space and then spoke privately into your phone. That's how you support me a little bit. Oh, so you don't like my support? Are you returning my support? Okay, do you have a receipt? Because it has been past 30 days since that support was given, and I will not return support when I don't see. Samara's like, yeah, you're not a good friend. You're just not. Okay, well, I didn't ask you, Mary. And so Eddie's like, are they still fighting? And Michael's like, yeah, this is what rich people do to enjoy themselves.

10:24Samara's like, well, I think you're boring. I think you're just like, meh. You're like, meh. That's what you are, Meredith. Meredith's like, well, I don't really care what you think of Mary. He's like, okay, well, then jump in the river. it's an ocean there are no rivers Mary on her own planet so now back on the boat Alicia calls her mother and she's like oh my god mom it's an absolute shit show that chef like I mean he's all over the car he expects me to know what to do I literally have no idea what the fuck I'm doing and the mom goes what's his name Ben poor Ben cause he's having to carry you and me oh god you have ben's number i just want to call him and give him a little bit of support poor guy lisa's like no i'm being dragged through this shit mom it's hard to put into words because the second he gets really bad then he gets okay again like he shouts and he says he's sorry and then it's like really hot in the galley and it's just like yeah it's like oh yeah so you're driving him mad aren't you that's what it sounds like poor guy send him a little bit of a basket I'm unraveling mom Just say to him look I know I'm shit But I'll try and give you 100 % of my shit Isn't that something At least big good shit Oh darling Nothing's going downhill for you That was a reference to you deciding to go skiing Instead of getting an actual skill set Which I told you not to do in the first place Because you're shit I understand God geez happy Mother's Day Lord it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial so she tells us I don't live in a chef culture that is volatile like this I mean I don't live in a chef culture at all I've actually never even met a chef doing anything with Ben's high stakes I just can't disappoint him and I can't not know the answer because that would just end up in arguments and I've got a thick skin but he's chipping away at it minute by minute I'm like do you have a thick skin because like last week He was like, can I have an avocado, love?

12:31And he was like, one moment I need to go to the loo. And he went crying.

12:38So the mom is just giving her so much shit. And it's so funny to hear. She's like, wow, well, imagine how he feels, darling, having an absolute knitwear in the kitchen. Does he even let you use knives? I mean, I imagine it must be difficult for you trying to prepare things with a spork, which is the only thing you've ever been allowed to use since you were a child. I was like mom thank you thank you so much for the pep talk mom she's like love you darling on the beach Heather is you know she wants to go snorkeling and the staff is helping them and Heather sees a turquoise there's a turquoise I mean the water is turquoise but there is a turtle as well there is a turtle I could have sworn there was a turtle but I read turquoise as it said turtle and tortoise mixed together and my brain spat that out but the point is this she loves the water and eddie is like i love being in the water this is why i'm in yachting i bet no one saw this that when heather said that the water was turquoise that this would turn into a tragic backstory but here it is everyone well it starts with him going it starts with him going okay we're going this way because there's turtles over here turtles over here and so he's like my father died that's why i'm in yachting and I was like oh my god did a turtle kill your dad because I was just waiting for the lead like I need the lead and you know there needs the leader needs to make sense with the story yeah the pivot was very quick I love being in water that's why I'm in yachting my dad died when I was younger I was like oh okay two days before I turned six he passed sort of just a freak heart attack in New York's day and he was just the greatest person and he loved water and Now I love water.

14:23So he chokes up and everything. He says that, you know, it's nice doing something that he knows his dad would be proud of him doing. And then Heather is like, I saw a stingray. It was like fucking Nebo when I said stingray. Why don't you bleak everything to the blogs? I'm back on the boat. Jason is telling Jenna she's really going to shine extra when she gets an extra stew. And she's like, well, I'll get a lot more rest, that's for sure. And he's just like, hmm, yes. He's got such an odd energy. So then back on the beach, Daisy announces that the tender is here. And Heather's like, let's go. I'm ready here.

15:06Why don't you sit on my lap? I'll do the steering. Did you hear my Finding Nemo joke?

15:14And then Daisy's like, okay, motor yacht Katina, we're approaching the yacht. You're coming back. So they give everyone rum punches and stuff. And then Daisy announces that they'll be doing 4 p.m. lunch on the sun deck. Okay, everyone, all hands on deck because we're getting to the moment, the moment for Ben. Okay, but lunch is coming up. Actually, do you think we could swap the lunch? Because do lunch in the saloon and the A.C. and dinner on deck. Okay, okay, that's absolutely fine. Is that okay? Yeah, it's absolutely fine. Why does your head look like it's gonna pop? It's just how my head is.

15:51It's just how my head is. Fuck, Jenna. Okay, are you ready? They want to do it in the saloon. Did they just say lunch in the saloon? Yeah, come on, let's just do it together. Jenna goes, fucking assholes. So now Daisy's like, yeah, it's like hurting children. It's still looking like a 4 p.m. lunch and an 8 p.m. dinner. So now they have to move everything from outside to inside, which is annoying because it takes them a very long time to set these tables. So now Batool's backstory, she's unloading chairs and she is saying that working on deck was considered a man job where she's from. And her dad didn't even want her to go to school because his mentality was women don't work and it's a man's world.

16:31And they don't want us to have rights or words. But her grandparents snuck her into the school. That's amazing. And good for you, by the way. Yeah. And also, how did your dad not notice that you were going to school every day? That's just like, whatever. That's a great question. It's like whatever. It's like a Paris Puehler. It's a woman thing. She just has a dummy in the bed that's connected to her rope to the door. It's like, Pichu, are you okay? You're still sick? Okay. We'll check back later. No. So Jason compliments her on her work. Okay. So then Heather's like, well, I'm not up with lunch for everybody.

17:09I mean, is that going to be bitchy if I just do you, me, Mary, and Angie? when he's like um actually i fully agree i need a break like yeah yeah so uh now jenna has set up the table and um heather is like hey daisy is there any way that we could clear a few of those plates and we're just gonna have four for lunch i would like the other ladies just to be served in their rooms is that possible if i i'm telling you if i was told like yeah i've decided as the primary you're just gonna be served in my in your room i would be furious yeah i would too so um she goes to tell ben and she's like my patience is being tested he's like lay it on me all right but lunch is in 10 minutes but they want four served in the room so he's like ah makes sense who cares it's like but it has to be plated so it'll all be plated so we're not gonna do family style anymore so we need to remove four of those plates all right makes sense all right so then it's like so i've set the table twice nobody's coming to lunch okay and it's like all right well that kind of sucks for us because we're gonna have to start to individualize everything and i've got i've got fuzzy fuzzy fractures over there in the corner trying to figure out what even a plate is in the first place doesn't make sense fuzzy fractures just imagining that she probably broke her leg at some point and i gave a nickname to that are you following my creative process.

18:38So Heather, Whitney join Angie and Mary. So Heather's like, low-key lunch with the low-key ladies. Am I right? Did anybody hear my Nemo joke? It was good. So Jenna is confused about plates and Daisy's like, no, we're going to bring the plates down. It's going to get placed. All right, that's how we're doing it. And meanwhile, Ben's like, oh, I don't think you should plate them, but she asked for them all plated. Well, that doesn't really, Oh, no, Alicia says that. She asked for them all plated, though. He says, well, that doesn't really concern me. It's what's going to look best. Who cares what she asked for?

19:13We're here for how it looks. Because growing up, I wanted to be a portrait artist. I was very good. You know, coming from an art background, it does help cooking. So I based my meal on how's it going to look. And look at here, little tiny Ben, little cucumber nose. Look at that adorable little man. Make his hair with a little deconstructed cheesecake. Looks amazing. Let's make it, give him a chicken wing here. Give him a chicken wing here. What a handsome bastard. Yeah, you can't just randomly throw things on the plate because the colors are not going to match. The shapes are not going to match.

19:47So unfortunately, there's just more to it than that because he makes these like plates of like chicken wings and crudités, but he stacks like the crudités. It's actually, it's just like the celery that's on the side of wings. He stacks it in like a lattice pattern, like a little, like a Jenga stack. I'm like, okay, that's nice, but. I know they should have saved this monologue for maybe a different dish. Cause he's like, I'm a portrait artist. I believe in art. I'm not serving anything that doesn't look like fucking art. And then it cuts to a plate of chicken wings. I know. Seriously. Okay. Well, um, so they, um, so basically, yeah, he's like, serve the people in their rooms first.

20:26So then when he's like, I'm really hungry, I'm hungry. And Ben's like, oh, I don't want to look like shit. Okay. there's still guests, all right? So let's make that look, okay, guests, all right. You just put the celery into the food process. You can't serve the blender cup to the guests, honey. That's not going to work, honey. But I'm not, though. It's like, yeah, yeah, just do it right, do it right. Oh, my God. And he's like, I'm not going against Daisy to spite her. It's just this is our department. We do things the way that we want to do the things and our department. So meanwhile, back at lunch, Whitney's like, I'm hungry.

21:05Where's the food? Now it's 4.07. And he's like, but I don't want it to look like shit. They're still guests, you know? And Heather's like, I feel good, but I am hungry. I am hungry too. So Daisy's like, all right, we've got four guests at the table. We need to do it. We need to do this. But meanwhile, the people at the table are supposed to be served first, but it's the people in the bedrooms that are getting served. And it's also using up all the people on the staff because all these dishes have to go in different places. And so he's like, Daisy, how long until the food? She's like, ha, it's coming right away.

21:41Do you copy, Gally? Where's the food? And Ben's like, Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, we can do the in-room dinners really quickly first. We're going to do them first. We just had to do it that way because I decided to do it that way. He's like, oh God, fuck me. So Daisy, you know, I think Daisy, Daisy's had it so easy all these seasons with her chefs on sailing yacht and now that she has Ben, she's going to be like she's just going to lose her mind. She already is losing her mind. It's only one first charter and Ben is already fucking with her so much. So it's like what the actual fuck? Heather's the primary and that means she's the most important person.

22:21Let's get the food going. Come on. Yeah, I wonder I worked up a big appetite. we need to serve lunch at the table first. Like the fucking guests are chaotic. Now Ben is chaotic. Give me a fucking break. So Whitney's like, how long into the food? I want food. Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry. God, you're so obnoxious. You've changed the lunch plans three times now. Okay. You can just sit tight. Yeah, seriously. And Ben's like, Daisy, is there any way we can do the dinner, the room diners first? Come on. They're ready now. He's like, yeah, I can't be that. Can you just give me a second, please? Oh, God.

22:59So Ben is like, he basically just goes rogue and he just starts telling the servers to, he starts having them go to the rooms first. But then the people upstairs aren't being fed and no one's available to do anything. And it's just a total mess. Yeah. So Daisy is serving champagne and Alicia is like, can I go with this plate? And he's like, yeah, yeah, just go, just go. You guys are going to need to pull up more people. Please, please. I need more people. Get the homely people who are never on camera. I don't even care. When he's like, what's going on? This is very weird. I need food. Shut up.

23:39You are the ones who mess this up. I know, seriously. But that being said, Daisy said, like, it's Daisy who decides who gets the food at what time, right? Like, that's her department. It's not up for Ben to decide that. So Ben is telling, not only is he telling people what to do, but then he's saying, oh, God, I'm always waiting on Daisy. What the fuck, man? What? Daisy is running around in circles because of you. So now food is starting to come up to the table. And Ben brings up the food to the table. And he brings it all up in these bowls. But since Daisy has been pulled in different directions and Daisy was not aware that the food is going up to the table at this point, no one has any place settings which is a bit odd also because there are people sitting at the table how do they not have their place settings but they don't have any plates or forks or spoons or there's nothing to serve because they were complaining about moving lunch from outside to inside and she said okay I'll do it with you so then where are the plates and the forks I was confused I don't know what's going on here so but the food's there but they don't have utensils which is a really bad look yeah so Heather's like plates would be great Ben and I had a plan And then he marches up with platters, surprise.

24:52There's no plates. And who looks like a fucking ding dong? Me. Me. That's who. So they love the food. Yeah, they love it. And Heather's like, serve me. Serve me like I'm a rich Roman king. How could you say that in front of me? I am Greek. And so Jenna's like, well, I don't really understand what's going on right now. Well, Ben's like, I'm serving the other four first. and I'm not leaving four guests in here in the primary without a drink. And I'm like, you'll get it when I get it. Like I stood there looking at my fucking asshole. I looked there like a fucking asshole up there. So Heather's like, you guys, the food is delicious.

25:29See, I'm a good customer. You can't say I'm bad just because I made you move everything around because I'm being nice to you now. Yeah, so Jenna checks in with Ben. She's like, how's my favorite? He's like, oh, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And Eddie tells Alicia that he swam with a turtle. And she goes, what? He goes, I swam with a turtle. She goes, did you? It's like, it was fucking huge. It was like the size of the table, kind of big. I mean, it was taller than me, I'm sure. Look down on me.

26:03It basically was like a blimp and I was the passenger. So I'm so small So Mike is like Do you fancy her? And he's like yeah I fucking do And then they laugh and everything So Heather goes to take a nap And Alicia's asking how she can help And he's like alright well I'm thinking about Dessert tonight We want sort of the body of a zombie thing It's going to be something you really can't mess up Just scoops of ice cream That you can put some little jelly beans into Okay honey buns we'll do that

26:41So Lisa is asking for a Diet Coke And then she's asking Mike If, you know what, can you just let her There twerk on you I mean, that's like the best gift you could give her Please, it would be a gift for all of us And he's like, oh, you wanted to do that She goes, yes, please So now tonight they're going to have some strippers And Daisy's like, well, he is a part-time stripper and Lisa's like oh my god thanks for cluing me in on like our little stripper wow we have like a little single stripper wow so he tells us his back story which is throughout the past five years and in between engineering gigs I stumbled upon the world of stripping and the world of stripping and the worlds of engineering are two completely different places there's no common denominator here except for lube I'm sure that one thing Mike has in common with a stripper is that Mike is told to go back into the room and shut the door every time he comes back out.

27:40Because no one needs this. Yeah, a lot of oil. So, yeah, I mean, what better thing to accompany a zombie dinner with people wearing saws in their head than some strippers? Sure. Than some discount dick. Yeah, seriously. So, now, Now, let's see. People are getting ready, and the boys are talking and planning for the evening, and they want a lap dance, and Mike's like, oh, everybody's going to have to strip. And Chowell's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't. I can't. This is bad. I don't know. I'm so shy. I'm shy. Oh, God. I'm no stranger to performances, but do I feel comfortable? No, because from a very young age, play the music.

28:25I've always been body shy. I've been teased by my brother about my weight. I've always been the person to go to the beach with my shirt on. The Ballad of Joao. So now Mike is, he's like, let me show you how to do it. You put your hands on her like this and you go, a little bit of this and a little bit of that. You know, put them all over your hair. So Joao's like, it's very intimidating. making myself look like an absolute clown next to a professional. I'm like, I don't, I think this is the best possible scenario to make yourself look like a capable stripper is doing it right next to Mike. Listen, at the very least, Mike's hair.

29:10You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And Eddie's like, don't feel bad. Just do it next to me. You'll at least be tall. So things are quiet and everyone's saying, wow, it's so nice. We finally have some rest and relaxation on this boat. It's been so chaotic at long last things are chill around here, but we know what's coming next because Bronwyn and Andrew are in their costumes and here it comes Angie getting her finger stuck in that door. Oof, oof. That's every time they show it, I'm like, because I actually just closed the door on my fingers like two days ago and it was simple.

29:48It's not. Yeah. It was weird. I don't know. You're like, how does that happen? But I was like, I was grabbing the door. Yeah. I was grabbing the door and it like closed on me and it hurt, but it was like minor, but it still hurt a lot. And I almost did it in the car. I was closed. I was, I got in the car and then I hadn't closed the door. And for some reason I grabbed it from like the top, you know, like the top of the door and started. So what are you doing? You're going to rip off your hand. Look what I just did to my fingernail. I was shaving the back of my neck and I went like that to like feel where the hair is, you know?

30:18So I had my hand back there and then I stabbed it with my razor and cut my nail all the way down into the oof nail i mean you know it's humans guys humans am i right so yeah angie cuts her and they're also wearing these stupid inflatable costume things so they're running around and not bleeding everywhere and angie helps her i mean the captain helps her and stuff and then um now they're decorating for zombie night complete with eerie cocktails, ultimately beautiful decor, and a man yet to toy for. So she's like, I can't think of anything more appropriate when these women are ripping each other apart.

30:58So Daisy's like, all right, Ben, what's for dinner tonight? He's like, all right, okay, here we go. Okay. Well, the plan is to have something delicious, like a bowl, a scallop dish with a slightly soupy black lentil, and then we're going to do a lamb, steak knives, and then a zombie ice cream head. It all depends on what sort of dumb thing my sous chef does. Last time I looked, she was trying to bake a baseball. So we'll see. So Daisy's like, oh, is it a huge ball ache if I add Jason to that? He's like, no, mate. You're dealing with professionals here, love. Well, one professional and that one over there in the corner.

31:38That's what I'd like to hear. So now they are doing water and wine at the tables. And they're all dressed bloody. You know, like some have axes in their head. Some have knives coming out of their face and stuff. And Heather orders bloody cabs all around. And he's like, I haven't touched this drink, Mike. He's like, I haven't touched this drink, but there's like lips. That's not mine. I don't do that. I don't do that. I mean, oh, that's Mary saying that to Mike. So Mike's like, okay, okay, I'm sorry. I was trying to figure out what the drink was. So I thought that's what he was figuring out. Anyway, Mary's going to have wine and there's lips all over her glass.

32:14And he's like, oh, sorry, I'll get you another one. So he goes down and he's mortified that he let this glass go out. So Daisy passes by and goes, oh, by the way, she just said that her glass had lipstick on it, but it didn't. I mean, I put it down myself. There was no lipstick there. Yeah. Crazy lady. So Daisy's like, all right, well, she has a fresh glass. He's like, yeah, I won't tell anyone though if you don't. So Daisy is like, all right, everyone, we're ready to start with service. Here we go. Ben's like, brilliant. This is actually quite good. So Ben is like, you know, he starts, the food's starting to go out.

32:52It's all this, you know, zombie type food. And of course the ladies are fighting, et cetera. And, you know, this is where it's funny because Ben goes, how's the temperament up there so far? And then it cuts to Brittany saying, so I saw something on TikTok today about Seth having a mistress, which is hilarious because we know this sends off like this little comment, like sets off the drama for the whole second half of the season of Salt Lake City. So he's like, how is it going up there? So you're like, don't ask. Here we go. My husband does not have a mistress. so now they're being served drinks and she's just because your boyfriend breaks up with you anytime he wants to sleep with someone else that's your problem no i break up with him that's not my problem so daisy's saying how it's starting to become like white noise for her and they sort of do this whole funny thing about like white noise and then um while ben is there the food's coming up food's been cleared whatever and And Alicia's big task is that she's going to make these ice cream zombie heads.

33:58And Ben is like, all right, can we get the ice cream done, please? Get the ice cream balls done, please. We can put them in the freezer because the whole thing is that he wants them to set up and have their zombie head shape when they go out. And we just see that Alicia's doing a million other things. The ice cream is just sitting out there. There's like eight ice cream balls in a hot kitchen. And she's just going off doing this thing and that thing, whatever. And the ice cream is just sitting there. and Ben's like, can you turn to the ice cream, please? You just have to literally put a chocolate chip on top of each one of them and that's it.

34:28Can you please do this for me, please? He's like, quick, quick, please, little Drew. Please, little Drew. So me and what upstairs, stay away from me. Your hatred has been abundantly clear and I am not interested. Still think I'm boring, honey? So they're like, oh God. And Jenna's like, well, the fighting was fun for a day or two, but geez. And Tate's like, enough with the fighting. Jesus Christ. So now it's 10-12. And the ladies are now on a full-blown fight. And Mary's like, and I won't take back what I said. You're boring. The kitchen. Ben's like, oh, my God, could you do the eyes? Zombies have eyes, most of them, don't they?

35:13God, I fucking hate working with ice cream. And by ice cream, I mean Alicia. Yeah, I mean, personally, I would have made them earlier and had them frozen. Personally, that's what I would have done. So passive aggressive and aggressive. Cacao esophagus. Come on. All right, grab them. So then he's like, just hand up with the cap, please. I'm like, there's balls of ice cream with eyes. It's like a melted snowman, each one of them. So they go up. But of course they like them, you know. Heather's like, look at these balls of ice cream. And Ben's like, you know, and I'm by the way, I also cooked this fucking thing.

35:50He pulls out like a tray of crisps or biscuits that he was going to serve with the ice cream. He's like, and didn't go on the dessert because I was too busy fucking fixing that. So that's great. Doing a great job, love. This is just my way of saying I love you. I'm just saying you fucked it. You fucked me over. I made this whole, a whole tray of biscuits that didn't get to go out. But I, but on the other hand, you're doing great. You're absolutely wonderful. Well, I would have somehow managed to construct them and keep them frozen. I know that that's not what we did. But then why didn't you? And he goes, I'll tell you why.

36:22Because I was actually seeing how you would cope with this dessert. It was a test. Because I want to see where you struggle and I want to see how quick you are. And it turns out you struggle with everything and there's no quickness at all. Well, I'll tell you where I struggle. It's always dessert and mains and appetizers. all right well well we didn't really make the dessert did we there did we because really i mean i made the chocolate i made the coolie you did mold the ice cream but you didn't make it did you really it's an assembly all right i think it's a fast stretch saying we made the dessert brown sugar dumpling chin right it's such a savage read and i like i was cringing because like it was so mean and it was also right and i was like oh and he's like all right alicia is like a bull in a china shop like i don't know i don't know what she is but she probably can't do that right either she's like a bull who like doesn't knock anything over it's like you didn't live up to the metaphor so alicia's like hey it's been chefing for over 20 fucking years i've done it for two like pick up the pieces that you're going to drop like oh i don't like that either like two years in you should be able to put like the eyeballs on the ice cream head i'm sorry at least yeah yeah and he's like she didn't actually make anything nothing i mean i couldn't give a fuck about the dessert oh my god can't even fucking cook chicken and chips without stressing the fuck out so then back at the table captain jason's like uh like the saw on your head i know the saw is so good i love it it's like someone got like really attacked it's like Meredith really got like someone sawing Meredith's hat.

38:08It's like it's gross. Like someone's going the distance on cutting her head in half. It's like amazing. Well, I think that we should talk about you and Jared and all the things he says about other people if you want to talk about men. And Whitney's like, the captain's with us. Come on. Captain, don't leave if it gets heated. Please stay. Please stay. Well, I'm not interested in trying to interfere with my relationship because you're jealous that you can't hold a man down. I'm not trying to interfere with a relationship, Meredith. I'm just bringing up that your husband's cheating on you on TikTok.

38:44Let's ask the captain what he thinks. Let's ask the captain. He's just trying to do anything to keep him there, you know? So if a guy is paying your bills and goes and tells everyone behind your back he's paying your bills, he's not paying my bills. He told us he pays for your bills. Well, I don't know why he's saying that. Jason, can I speak with you for a second? Would you ever do that to a woman, Captain? Would you ever say that you pay someone's bills when you don't pay their bills? He's walking off. He's already walking off in the middle of the sentence. He's like, nah, I wouldn't do that.

39:19Bye. So long. Daisy's like, I will get you your dessert, but you're not meant to be there. Her vibe is like, don't worry, you'll get your ice cream. It's like, but will I still get my zombie head? You'll get it. just not out there. This is like the apocalypse. This is how I envision the end of the world. Captain Jason's like, look, I like engaging with the guests and usually they're asking me a lot of questions. I can't even get a word in. I would have been eaten alive by them, I think. Thank you for saving me from the zombies. A wink, a wink.

39:54So now Daisy and Captain have their own confessional together and she's like, have I just set the bar for the season? and I don't have to do anything there for the rest of the season, right? And he goes, just keep doing that, saving me with ice cream. That's all I need, all right? Jeez. So then in another room, the guys are getting ready for their performance. And Joelle's like, oh, my God, oh, my God, the dysmorphia, the dysmorphia I feel. And back in the kitchen, Alicia's like, did it turn out okay? And Eddie's like, are you hungry for a bit of cocktail? tail oh so now the guys go up there to dance and eddie's up there first and he's like there are two he comes out as if he's being chased by zombies and he's like oh my goodness there are two seriously hungry men out there and they are just bloodthirsty for single ladies they better be naked oh heather you don't have to put the hat on the hat okay they're doing the bit you don't have to help them with their bit okay let them just do their stripper yeah so joelle comes out and dances and the just the the movie music like climaxing when he finally finds the confidence to take off his shirt i cried it was great personal arc for him it's like i'm hoping that everyone is distracted about what's going on because i'm the stiffest zombie you've ever seen in your life i'm like uh that's kind of the zombie thing i hate to tell you and he's like Hazimla got his groove back.

41:20Did you say Hazimla? Wait. Hazimla got his groove back.

41:29How Jawazabob got his groove back. Okay, so they dance. And Heather hugs Mike very hard. She's like, you're great. And Heather's like, Captain Jason, we were cheering for you to pick us up. Picking them up. I mean, come on. Fucking get in the game. Come on, man. so anyway they go they go downstairs and joao's like wow i feel like i was less awkward but fuck me i was awkward my legs were shaking it was the scariest thing i ever did in my life wow joao 13.0 is so humble when he has to do a shriptease so everyone's really proud of joao for making it through that arc and he's like all right let's focus on the main deck and get the water stains out oh i can live again i can live again i'm free And then in the kitchen, Alicia says hello to Ben.

42:17And Mike comes in. It's the next morning. Oh, it is? Yeah. Oh, okay. So it's the next time now. So now Daisy is asking Mike if he prefers interior or exterior. And he's like, I can't pick and choose, Daisy. I can't do that. You pick. She goes, you have to pack. He goes, well, where can I chat the most, do you think? Meanwhile, Eddie is saying hi to Alicia and complimenting the buns in her hair. and he's like, are those pigtails? And she's like, oh, they're horns, devil horns. And Ben's like, hey, we're definitely flirting with you. Might I suggest running off into the sunset within the next 10 minutes before I fucking murder you.

42:55By the way, you're doing great. Love you.

43:02All right, fizzy fibula. Unfortunately, you tried to run off to the sunset and crashed into a tree. That's too tragic, but so typical of you. so Captain Jason says hi to the fish and he's like hello fish, Joao's lost a bit of weight he's been busy, he's been a bit busy I was like, it's a weird thing to say to your fish and then Ben so Alicia has to make muffins the muffins, here we go it's just one thing after another she has to make muffins and we see her doing them and he's like, well, those muffins look strange, yeah, what happened, what did we do? She's like, well, I added some chocolate, I know I'm probably biased, but I don't think that they look too bad, I think they've got nice tits on them, and we see the muffins, and they're totally overgrown, and like, spread into each other on top of the muffin tin.

43:56And she goes, they've got nice tits on them, and he goes, do we have any more muffin tins? Because they would be really good if we didn't fill them up so much, honey buns, alright? You just don't do that, simple syrup face, alright? you don't overfill up pastry, all right? She goes, okay, I heard you. He goes, I know, but you've got to understand, pastry will rise by double, if not three times, always, and they look like shit. Okay, well, thank you. And Daisy's like, pretty early in the season to be beckering. Mike's like, yeah, it's going to be a long season. So Ben's like, fuck, babe, next time, let's not do that.

44:33So he dumps it. Dumps it in the trash. and she's like what'd you do he's like well i dumped it in the bin no on your face i don't feel it on my face i was joking it's in the bin oh keep up honey buns so basically she's like you threw out my muffins and she's like you could have given them to the crew he's like no they were still too fucking raw in the middle because you put too much batter in okay and i needed the muffin tins for the guests so i upturned them and threw the fuckers away because if i cooked them that we wouldn't have time to cook the guest muffins because we only had those trays and I wasn't trying to sabotage you or fuck you.

45:11Just taking a long time and I'm already stressed. And it's like, is he serious? Like, I think he's trying to kill my self-esteem. I mean, nah, go fuck yourself at this point, to be honest. So Daisy comes in looking for a juicer and he's like, there's like five of a bubble cupboard here, babe. Or if you want, just put an orange between that one's mouth and just punch it down until juice comes out. so he leaves and Alicia's mouthing like fuck you to him. Yeah. So she goes to the restroom and, uh, meanwhile, Bronwyn's like, well, they're going to have to replace the carpet and Heather and Whitney's room because we're going to have to pay for this boat.

45:49I mean, there's makeup, there's fake blood and self tanner everywhere. Yeah. It's bad. So Alicia calls Brianna, the Katina steward is from last season, who was like the uh like the model who was stuck in this maybe relationship with harry for a whole season so she's like hi how's it going in the galley she's like it's a fucking nightmare brie stop it no i love brie she's part of my really cool circle in my heart and it's just it's not easy to stay friends after the season because it's so high paced but i feel like i could tell her any crisis at any moment and she'd be there for me so she's like oh my god You are amazing.

46:31You can do this. You've got this, girl. Hold on. I've got another call. I'm just going to just merge it into this call. Darling, it's your mother. You're fucking terrible at your job. Just quit already. Just quit. You've got no hope of making it through the season. Mom, thank you so much for calling. I love to hear your voice. Love you too, Mistake. All right. Have a good one. So she's basically like, I was living my best fucking life out in Canada. I'd never been happier in my life. and then my mom said they want you back on tv and i said i don't want to go back and she says you better go back you need to support me in my old age so i went back and then i had to leave it all just to come on this boat and basically be treated like this i spent 15 hours of my day in the galley and i can't i can't do it for moments i can't live for the just little moments of people coming and asking if i'm okay so then she goes up to see captain jason and she you know has a big monologue she's like i can't do it i can't do the galley i can't do ben's mood swings i just can't I'm doing my absolute best.

47:28I had children this morning, muffin children. He tossed them in the trash. Toss them in the trash. That's the only thing I can do. They had nice tits. They had nice tits. He threw nice muffin tits in the bin. I've got to leave. I'm skiing. I'm skiing and I'm fucking. And he's like, you know, we had an ark built in. You know, we've already finished Joao's Feeling Fat Ark. And I thought we were really going to get you in there until you couldn't cook. and then by the end of the season, you can't cook. You know, that's sort of what you're supposed to do here. And she's like, I can't do it. I'm out of here.

48:03Yeah, she's not staying. She's not lasting the season. She was not in enough of the trailer for the season. She's gone. She can't, she will. This is, and she's not meant to be there. She can't. She's a really nice, sweet girl, but this is, you know, she's dealing with like a chef-chef right now and this is out of her league. and she needs to get some more experience before she deals with someone like Ben. Yeah, she needs to run like hell, girl. Run like hell. Get out of there. Get out of there. Yeah. Well, we're going to get out of here. Bye. It was a fun time. Yeah, it's all over. Catch us later this week with more episodes.

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