#3217 The Valley Persian Style S1E07: Slip n’ Snide

0:21Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crabins. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben. Hello. Hello there. How's it going? Good. Everybody, welcome. It is the Valley Person Style Day. And we've got two weeks from today until the Golden Crappies on February 27th at the Fonda Theater in Hollywood. Get your tickets at WatchWhatCrappens.com. That's also where you will find links to live streaming tickets through Kizwi. Get them over there. Also, the next round of voting, which is the round. It's the round for the actual awards. You guys did first round voting. That went really well. And now you're going to vote on the nominations for the crappies.

1:03So that starts Monday. And you can find links to that on our social, Instagram, or on our website. Also, if you want videos, video recaps, or you want ad-free listening, or you want bonus episodes about traders, or you want our free newsletter, Go sign up at Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what groupings. And now, today, the traitors. I mean, the valley. Well, it could be the traitors. They all backstab each other on this show all the time. But it's the valley, Persian style. Traitors, Persian style. Well, we left off. Persian traitors believe in feeding each other. Bitches be like you're not faithful So We were at this restaurant Where Reza Jax has Arranged Slash ambushed Sky and Tanine So that way they can have some sort of resolution And Tanine's like wait what is happening I'm like really confused He's like oh it's exactly what it looks like it's happening It's happening but I think for the sake of the friendship Let's just like be in a setting where it's calm And we can have a conversation which I think is so adorable when people say that to reality stars and restaurants, as if like restaurants have not been the arenas for so many flip outs and flip tables.

2:25God, especially for sky today. Jeez. She's real. She does not give a shit if she's in a restaurant. That's for sure. And Tony is like, um, this is unpleasant. I did not expect to be set up. Like your ego won't even allow you to call me. So now I have to go to lunch and pretend to eat around you. Uh, and rest is like, okay, well, I'm just going to be over there, but I am going to do something tricky and take your purses because women can't live without purses. Am I right? It's kind of a good move, to be honest, because people love storming out. So he's like, you take the purses away because they can't leave.

3:00Genius. So now the woman, he leaves, which I think is crazy because I thought they were going to have some sort of like referee. Yeah, you should sit there and help them work it out. What the heck? Yeah, work it out, man. So Tanin's like, well, I guess the floor is yours. I mean, you're the one who experienced a lot of things. And you were there. You saw what happened. That night was too much and heavy. And I want you to have my back. And you didn't. Okay. Yes. And this is where I was very pissed off and disappointed, especially your husband. He started to attack. She's like, first and foremost, Reza started the conversation, not Greg.

3:33And she's like, no, it was Greg. No, it was Reza. And then we see the night at dinner. Of course it was Reza. It's always Reza. This is not a mystery to be solved on this show. If shit has been started, it was Reza. Okay. and so we see a clip where rest is like oh we're going to look at a million dollar house so you can ease up on the shopping okay lady it's like you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth and a trust fund or something you're a waiter from shabba shukis bitches be like i'm rich and i'm better than everyone else so then tanyan's like you were ambushed and i feel so bad for that oh you do you feel bad for me you do really this is my sarcastic voice yeah the sky is relentless and i love it it's like oh she is oh you feel bad this guy is vicious so tanyan's like well it's just the way you're approaching it is offending people it feels like you're above and they're and they're beneath you she goes oh but they are they are beneath me everybody is pretending that they want to be very classy and things but nobody's acting classy acting like a hyena sitting waiting for a moment to jump on it's so beneath me i can't go that low okay i go to ero one i do not go to ralph's as much as i want to go look down on people but listen sometimes you have no choice sometimes you have to look down on someone and tani's like okay well raza said that serum thing is just oh that you went behind my back and you talked to raza about the serum thing.

5:03That's what you did. She goes, okay. And I apologize because I would have felt bad if Reza brought that up to me. Okay. But then you come back to me with giving me discounts. Like look at the discounts I gave you. I mean, that's the first thing that came to your mind. And she goes, well, yes, because Reza said exactly after my wife spent thousands of dollars, your husband said my wife spent thousands of dollars on your supporting your business. If your wife wanted out my pieces, it wasn't just because of supporting my business. She wants to have a piece and she did come to me and I gave her a bargain on my pieces.

5:34Yeah, well, we saw the prices of your pieces and they are way overpriced. So you giving a bargain is silly. It's like one of those Facebook ads. It's like, get a ban for your Apple Watch. Normally$9 ,000. Today, only$100. I'm doing you a favor, guys. You want me to believe that Sky has a trunk show and Tanene doesn't buy a piece from the trunk show and Sky is like totally going to be fine with it? No, of course Tanene's going to buy something. Not only because she's a good friend, but she also knows that you're going to have a meltdown if she doesn't buy a stupid trinket so yeah it's like i yes i do support my friend's business correct and it's thousands of dollars that's correct yeah but you never pay full price or even the price that anyone has ever paid uh it's like okay so yes thank you for giving me a discount for when i'm spending thousands of dollars on your stuff because otherwise you probably have a meltdown but i'm still spending thousands of dollars on your stuff yeah and um tanning's like yeah but i am still supporting you right and sky is like well i'm not a serving student i that i need this money so bad that i'm dying oh really well you are desperately trying to move out of a house and you can't afford to so you kind of are you had a meltdown because there was no proper bartender for your trunk show so i guess it seems like you are pretty desperate to have like the perfect event to sell your you need the money you need the money yeah the money and she's like i just want to support you and she goes thank you she goes okay but that's you know we're friends and that's what i do for my friends she goes let me tell you something everything started with that night she's like not for me it started with the serum she's okay for me good enough okay you want to say skincare fine i'm like you know what in your eyes i fucked up okay i get it that was not my intention but i fucked up from the bottom of my heart, I'm very sorry that I care about my child dogs moisturizing.

7:27But, you know, I care about my dog. Well, thank you. And we're missing the Persian culture here where it's like thoughtful and tarot, which means humility. And it's beautiful and it's hospitality and it's family. It's just very sad to me. And eventually it had to be said that if it did mean anything to you at any time, that you have to show that that's enough for you to want to hear the other side. So I guess she's trying to say like i accept your apology but like why like why was this so hard right is that what she's trying to say here like where's the humility where's the oh no my friend is upset in all this yeah she's saying if we're really if we're really family and close friends then you can't just cut me off every time we have a fight and this guy's like well i'm in a very tough spot with every single person here and she goes yeah i'm sure you are and i don't even know how i don't even know how to talk to people like right now well not by being an asshole you know you're gonna have to at some point be like okay i didn't mean to diss the valley i was being snotty sorry everybody i'll chill that's it nothing can really justify what she did she didn't stand up she didn't speak up she didn't stop greg it's not acceptable to me this conversation didn't change my mind at all but i have no idea where we're going from here i'm like but you were being obnoxious to tanin so why would tanin tell her husband to stop defending you i mean i know greg said the thing about like hey stop being a dick about the valley that's where i'm from but uh i think greg was being really gross actually at that dinner and so was reza and they were screaming at a woman and greg being like oh yeah well you don't got a choice honey good luck you gotta stay in your house because you can't afford anything else honey i mean i think he was an asshole and i think tani did start that shit by going to reza and saying, you know, she did this with my thing and then Reza brought it up in public and started a fight and all of this.

9:21And so I would be pissed if I was Sky too. I think that Tani wasn't being a good friend to her. And I think her husband was being a shithead and she should have been like, stop yelling at my friend, dude. It's weird. So I think Sky has a point. It's just that Sky topped it by being ruder than everybody else and basically being like, I don't care that Ali's gross and you're all gross and I don't care. And then she turned it to the like, oh, and I've given you discount on my stuff. Like she gets so nasty instead of just having the conversation. She could have walked away looking like she was in the right in that one, but she just didn't play it well.

9:54Bless her heart. She's my favorite one on the show, but she's still my favorite as well. She's wrong. They basically leave this conversation feeling like nothing's really changed. Nothing's really moved. Sky isn't getting what she wanted out of Tanine. Tanine's not getting what she wanted out of Sky. Their friendship is going to move to a more surface-y space. so now we go to mj basically both say still hate the all right next scene can i have my bag back it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap it's commercial so we go to mj and tommy's house and um and tommy's like hey shab stop leaving trash around okay god where are you getting all these popsicle sticks from god so then jams leaves and mercedes it is.

10:39And Tommy, you're sitting around. What's going on? She's like, well, right now it's been a while since I've sold a house. And this is a very scary market for real estate agent. I feel like she is MJ trying to like leave clues to a secret treasure hunt. Like she's like, listen to the words that I slow down on. She's always, she talks and she's always talk like this. It's like, she's waiting for a fax to come through and she's reading it off. She's like, yeah, It's been like a long time Since I sold A house And this is a very scary Could you change the ink Can somebody change the ink All of the most Productive real estate Agents have not sold that much In a long time And our nest egg if I don't produce I get worried a lot So She basically says that Tommy's built a podcast network and it's just starting off because they do that show or they did that show.

11:41I don't know if they still do it. Till the Dirt. Till the Dirt. A podcast company and the ground floor means Tommy is doing nothing but spending your money and sitting around his house all day in fucking sweats. I'm sorry, you can make it sound as good as you want to, but you don't start a podcast network. If he doesn't have investors giving him money to sit around and it's just coming from you, he needs to get off his ass and do that in his spare time. He needs to get a job and do that in his spare time. Spoken from somebody who started a podcast, not a podcast network, but a podcast and didn't get to not have another job for years.

12:16You don't just say like, I'm not going to do anything because I have a podcast. That's bullshit, sir. Get off your fucking lazy ass and get to work. He's definitely not giving the energy of someone who is scrambling to put together a podcast network. Every time we see him, he's just sitting on a sofa or like, you know, going out to lunch with Vita or something like that. Like we don't see this guy like, like hustling and bustling. I know it's just what Bravo shows. There could be more going on. Okay. It could be an ace. Buying a neon sign from Alibaba does not make a podcast network. Get a job.

12:47Yeah. So pressures on Mercedes to keep everything, you know, afloat. So she's like, I have to market myself or else I'm going to be a one house Wanda, but I need to be a multi-house. Oh God. You don't want to be a one house Wanda. that's for sure be a multi-house mares so she's like look i'm having a twilight open house i'm inviting the agency agents all the gang and um everybody's like where's tommy you know you need to come and he's like whoa whoa whoa whoa i'm not doing this i'm not doing this stop it right now i'm not going she's like doing what he's like i don't like them and that's it that's it you understand and he starts getting really mad because i'm sure he's told her a million times if you want to do this show, do it, but I'm not doing it.

13:33There's no way you're getting me in this situation again. Yeah. Even though the podcast network seems to be based off of their podcasts, which has traction because MJ was on the traders and is on Bravo. So it's a tricky thing. Like it's, you know, I think my heart really just sort of rests with like Tommy did go through hell because of Reza. And there's just no reasonable way to expect him to drop everything to just do this. Tommy also went through hell because of Tommy. Reza has been poking people for years on this channel. He's been ruining lives, doing whatever he can to be a messy little evil queen.

14:25He's been doing it for years, but not everybody assaults him and goes to their house and tries to kill them and destructs property. Tommy did that to him. That's the thing. That's the thing. And it's like, not only that. And so it's like, like I understand that Tommy went to jail and like his life was massively affected by this, but it was Tommy's choice to go over there. And on top of that, it's like, I can't help, but also feel like I really do understand where, where MJ is coming from. Like it sucks. Like my husband won't come with me to anything. He's not, he won't even come to the things that like don't have Reza there.

14:55And like, this is like, she's the, She's like the primary breadwinner is basically what she's saying. And if the podcast network is basically built off of her fame and her success, she needs him to help her be successful, to help the podcast be something, right? So I understand that too. Beyond even just the podcast, I think she's trying to say like, listen, I'm already the one. People are listening to the podcast for me. I'm out with a real job as well as doing that. Plus I'm doing this TV show, which is our biggest job of all, because we're finally back on TV. This is a huge job for me. And you won't even do that.

15:31Like I even got you that job and you won't show up to film. Like if you have to fight with people and you have to do whatever, get off your ass. It's a job. Like make it be entertaining. Fight with Reza. Like what do I have to do? Just don't talk to him. Don't engage with him. Like I can't, like I need to do this. This is like our family. This is, I need this paycheck. and like I know you want me to make a concession for you but you need to make a concession for me and it's hard because their concessions are against each other but I think that for me like I don't know I think I would just get over my shit and I think the point that you make is a really strong one is that like this didn't happen in a vacuum Tommy went over and he did do he was the one who threw those pots around it seemed overkill what what reza was you know put him through but honestly tommy did it first well yeah reza's an asshole like i'm not yeah reza's reza's a piece of shit but he's always been a piece of shit that's who reza is on this show he's like the villain of the show he's like the hero and the villain of the show so that's what he does tommy is the one it's like i had a friend who got a dui and she accused she went to a party and the girl she went to a party for had invited this girl's ex and she didn't know and so she got shit-faced at this like really really drunk at this party and then this guy shows up so she left the party and drove all the way from Santa Monica back to Silver Lake and got a DUI and blames the friend for her getting a DUI because a friend shocked her and I'm like no you got in the car fall down drunk like no one did that well well, but she didn't tell me this.

17:11I said, but you still got so drunk. Like you cannot blame somebody else for your DUI. And I feel like that's Tommy. It's like, do you know he ruined my life? I had depression. Yeah, because you have, and he's like, I'm with anger management. And he's screaming. I'm like, you're screaming at your wife on camera. How did that anger management work out for you? Like, how is that working? How is this therapy working where you like can't even, like you're in control of your own responses and reactions. so knowing that you have that power like just be there for your wife like I think in a perfect world they wouldn't have to be in this situation but like this is their lot in life which is that like MJ's career is a reality star and you're banking your entire podcast network off of her fame you built it off of her fame essentially if Tommy had an actual job and he was like listen I know that you want to be back on TV I don't want it I'm never going to do it but I support you wanting to do it as long as you keep me out of it.

18:08And he actually had a job and was contributing. I would think of this differently. I would be like, that's unfair to put him in the situation. He said he's uncomfortable. We've seen a lot of husbands on these shows, not film. They're like, I'm not going to do it, you know? And that's always okay. The reason for Tommy, the reason for me that it's not okay with Tommy is that he's not doing anything. He's not contributing. And saying you have a podcast network is bullshit and you're not contributing. And she's, this is now her third job. if you're going to include podcasts as a job she's working three and you're doing nothing so unless you do something you don't have a say here that's what I say now I will say there's something else I'd like to add which is that there is also a space where MJ could just say to her friends you guys stop fucking asking me if Tommy's going to come you guys know what the situation is you're putting me in a hard spot because now you're putting pressure on me to have to ask him and this makes him really unhappy and it's hard on our marriage and like yes I would love it if he could come but he can't and because part of that is because of what you did reza and like that's just the way it is so just stop fucking asking me you know that's true uh like there is no i think that that's true but i think that also she probably doesn't want tommy at these parties she seems pretty over tommy and tommy's so gross i mean he's always been gross but tommy's like yeah i just fought i just burped i just took a huge shit at our anniversary like he thinks he's so hilarious it's gross it's disgusting and i'm sure she does not care if tommy is not out with her while she's trying to like be a classy person to be an agency, you know, I'm sure she doesn't mind that he's not there, but she wants him there to make entertainment.

19:41You know, it's like, well, listen, we have the opportunity. I think she wants him there as a partner. And I think that like when you go into these situations and you never know whenever you go into shoot and like, is Reza go like, you never know if that's the day you walk into the party and Reza's going to ambush you and you just want to have backup and you're with everyone else who was a couple and then you can't have your person there. Um, that's hard. And especially honestly, at a work event, it's really nice to have someone. It's nice to have your person there. So that way, you know, when things are like, if it's like boring or annoying or someone says, you can just always like this, the drive home and it can be like, can you believe what so-and-so said or whatever?

20:21I think that's like the value of, of having your person. So I understand why she wants him there. Uh, is he probably the best look at a fancy open house? Probably not, but at the same time though in an ideal world you don't put your Buffett on his armpits I was really going to sell this house I know in an ideal world though if your spouse is massively uncomfortable being around someone in your world you've got to take your spouse's side this is a really complicated one which I think is something that makes this show compelling because there really is no easy answer to this because I go back and forth Like you want to support your spouse and you want to say, why should I put my spouse in a situation where they're so uncomfortable?

21:04But then you also want to say, but why, but shouldn't he also feel the same way that she's going and having to shoot this show to support this family? And she has to go at it alone over and over and over again because I can't, I can't get over my own shit, you know? And also quite frankly, holding onto this anger and this resentment, resentment is going to eat him alive. It will, it's going to destroy him. I don't know. I I'm, I'm all over the map on this one. yeah well she you know it's it's a mess it's life actually it's actually it's very like this is this is actually the messiness of life i hate to be trite about it but it's true yeah but i mean i think it just boils down to he didn't want to do it but he's not doing anything else and part of the reason he was in trouble is him i mean the whole reason he was in trouble is him he wouldn't have gone to jail if he hadn't done what he did he wouldn't have gone to jail for what reza did You know what I mean?

21:56Reza wouldn't have gone to jail for what he did. Tommy went to jail for what Tommy did. So he's got to take some personal responsibility. So he's like, you know, something's irreparable and you can forgive, but you can't be forgetful because that's going to come back on you if you're not careful. Well, yeah, it is. But that's what being on TV is. It's like so. He's like, he's not worth my time. I do not care about him. She goes, OK, well, let's just, you know, it doesn't have to be Reza. I have a lot of friends, you know, and you don't have a negative history with them yet. you know lots of people are still waiting to screw us over come on man then i don't want to hear any more about it i don't want to hear any more about natasha boris or fucking heckle and jekyll and cline i don't give a fuck unless it's mr matt i will hang out with mr matt but you understand do you understand what makes me happy i want to do what makes me happy which is sticking my hand in my armpit and falling out the national anthem in front of champs yeah which is staying home doing nothing and she's like well i'm the stable one and i've come through for us and you've not come through for me and he's like oh well you've really lucked out man i'm a shitty husband well someone said it i mean yeah like no one's gonna argue with you and she's like yeah i'm not supported and i feel like a stockholm syndrome wife like what the fuck she's like i'm frozen elsa not doing anything and just going like i guess i'm okay with that but i'm not and um she's like you just threw your hands up in the air and he's like it's never gonna be what you want it to be which is basically and that's his attitude you know like earlier when he's like then just divorce me then if you're not happy i'm not gonna make any changes you fucking divorce me then it's like well be careful what you ask for buddy wow she won't just be a one house wanda she'll be a one house wanda divorcee so now we go to gg's gg's car and uh she's driving with um elijah and he's like just talking on his walkie-talkie like like he's talking to the police and he's like so if bad guys break into the house and steal all the money that we have what happens he's like do you think a bad guy is gonna break into our house where the dogs that we have don't the bad guys know i love knives and i'm very violent i love that this kid is already practicing talking on walkie-talkies to the police and getting them to his house because you're gonna need that skill kid he's like wow mommy isn't it scary bad people could come into your house the bad person is already in your house it's her she's driving you to school right now sir so then we go over to reza who is meeting with a jeweler um and basically he is going he's interested in having his dad's ashes uh turned into or put into or something with a pendant um and so he talks about his dad They take the carbon from dead people and they turn them into diamonds.

24:45Now, I'm sorry, but I'm not told what part of this, where the carbon came from. It could have come from the face. Very pretty. It could have come from their asshole. I don't want, like, my dead Meemaw's asshole diamond. I don't want that. Who came up with this idea? I hate it. Yeah. So Reza talks about his dad. It's a very nice moment. And he's, of course, very emotional about his dad passing and everything. And MJ comes and joins. And they're looking at the jewelry. And MJ's like, can I ask how much? And this woman goes, it's around$28 ,000. And MJ just bursts out laughing right in this woman's face.

25:25She cannot stop laughing. She's like,$28 ,000? And Reza's crying. And he goes, that's what I said. I was like, what? I could bring it back for$28 ,000. And the lady's just looking at him like, fuck you guys. what the hell she's like that's I'm giving you the sky discount and so so they have like a Reza and MJ sort of bonding moment where Reza's like the only person I could have had with me today is MJ because she knew my dad and we've been friends for so long so we see a flashback of spreading the ashes and everything back in 2018 and all that stuff so this woman leaves she's like fuck these guys I'm going back to milking thousands of dollars out of Bromwood Newport.

26:10So she leaves. And so Reza and MJ are going to have a drink. And he's like, thank you for coming. I needed you here to do all that. Like, you know, not to get like off death and ashes and stuff like that. She's like, yeah, we can get off that. Can we talk about my Twilight Open? He's like, babe, where's the open house going to be at? Hopefully not in some home that's going to cause a massive rift between our friend group. It's going to be in Layla's house, which is Gigi's villain sister. And so Gigi hates her sister, Layla. We've seen it over the years, and it's always really fun. It's always really fun to watch.

26:44It's exhausting. I'm sorry. So for people who didn't watch Shaz or just coming into this world now, this has been an ongoing thing that Layla and Gigi don't like each other. And Gigi's always so mad at Layla, and I still don't fully understand why after all these years. She's like, I can't stand my sister. She's just the worst person in the entire world. I'm like, I still don't really know why. She just hates Layla. Yeah, she hates her. She's always hated her because Layla's like the good one. And Gigi's the one who never does anything. So why does Gigi get away with doing nothing in life? And you still give her all this money and all this.

27:20Mind your own business, you bitch. So MJ knows that Goldness is going to be pissed. But that's like her only house. And she has to have a Twilight Open because Mauricio told her to. So that's it. She's doing it at Layla's. and rest is like wait a minute let me ask you this are you gonna talk to gold nessa because you need to tell her like listen like i be having like a bitch's sister's house on the market like i just want to give you like a heads up because you know i love what the three of us are at right now okay don't mess it up yes i really love how we're all getting along so like maybe i'll tell Gigi that you're going to sell her her sister's house on TV and Mauricio's gonna be there and Gigi would be so mad.

28:07God, I love that we're all friends. I love for us being in the place where we're all together so I can break us up apart again. And so I'm just like, okay, I'll tell her. Dun, dun, dun. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now, speaking of Discord, we go to a restaurant in Beverly Hills. Because of course, Sky is never going to shoot a restaurant scene in the Valley if she doesn't have to. And Sky and Bombshah, they're going to dinner. And he's like, so, how are you doing? And she's like, well, today I was supposed to meet with Reza Jax. And then literally a second later, I saw Tanine walk in.

28:47Oh, she walked in? Yeah. Like, so she just like really tried to heart to convince me that Reza started the conversation. He's like, no, no, Reza may have, but of course, I don't remember anything, you know. he gets to Mauricio he gets to Mauricio uh oh a woman's feeling something and he's like oh he just gets a confused face he's like I don't remember I think I'm ready to leave by the way question are women on this show allowed to order because they never do I don't think like the first scene Reza ordered for them and then this scene he's ordering for them and then Reza goes to to lunch with somebody else later and he orders everything like is that just a thing better not order for me They know that if Sky orders, in this case, I think Bombshot knows that Sky orders, it'll be just like a plate of scallions and that's it.

29:33They'll be like, ma 'am, can I take your order? Erwan, just please. Erwan. One half pint of bulgur, please. Thank you. It's enough for both of us. Yeah, so they're talking about the ambush. And she's like, yeah, so she says that Reza started it. He's like, I don't remember. And she's like, let me tell you something. as much as I'm pissed off at Greg, I'm pissed off at you the most. You the most. I was like, oh God, he's never gonna hear the end of this. And she's like, I'm still very mad at Bombshot because he didn't defend me in Palm Springs. And they're like, how long are you gonna be mad at him?

30:12She starts to laugh. She goes, probably for the rest of my life, I'm going to be mad at him. She's like, I will. She's like happy. She's like, oh my God, I have a new grudge for the rest of my life. This is so fun. Yeah. And he's like, well, you know, I should have done the right thing. I didn't do the right thing. And for this, I'm sorry. And I'm the first one to admit it. You know, with the boys, I said, look, you disrespected my wife. And we see him telling them at that party. And he's like, you're talking to my wife. You're talking to my family and me. And he says, I told him that she never offended anybody.

30:45She goes, oh, did you say that? This is a new part I didn't hear before. You said that? He goes, yes. She goes, oh, so you said this? I already told you. She's like, I'm not going to let it go. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. So then he gets annoyed. Basically, she does not believe him. And he goes, well, what do you want me to say? I made a fucking mistake over here. What the fuck do you want from me? And she's like, and I was like, oh, bombshot. You've known your wife longer than I have. Even I can tell you that was a mistake. Because now she's like, the look that she gives him, I was like, get him, Sky.

31:18Get him. So she was like, I was fighting with everybody that night. And then you sat right next to me and you looked at me. don't fucking talk to me like that ever in your life ever ever ever you owe me you owe me a lot i was like oh she just the look the withering look that she gives bombshot oh she's she gets like straight up hatred on her face all the time like often you know and um he's like okay well you know the answers that you want i've given you already and she's like i don't want to attack you And he says, you are attacking me. She's like, no, because I would never turn my back like you.

31:56And he goes, well, you've never had my. And now they're speaking in Farsi at each other and kind of yelling at each other in this restaurant. And he's like, you never had my back from day one. When have you had my back? And she just stops and tries to think of something and then can't think of anything. Because you know that that's true, too. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure that she wants him to stick up for her. But whenever it comes to him, she's like, he is an idiot. You're correct. You're correct. she should have just said, what, what can I possibly have your back on? Cause you don't do anything in the first place.

32:28You have to do something for me to have your back on it. So he's like, I've been through a lot of difficulties and pretty much on my own. And she's always been self-centered, but then again, she's my wife. I've accepted her the way she is a self-centered brat and I have supported her right to wrong. I'm always going to have her back. I'm like, wow, this will really age well in your, uh, couples therapy that you're sure to be going into zune god can you imagine could you imagine calling your wife on tv self-centered oh she is though she is i mean that's the thing your kids are gonna see this well they're gonna see him her calling him a piece of shit every day too so you know welcome welcome to your like she's saying it to his face at least at least they're having an argument but he's just alone in a confessional being like yeah she's self-centered but i accept it so she's like She's like, you know what?

33:14I don't even think I had this conversation with you ever. Fuck that night. Seriously. So I guess that's where they leave it, which is that they hate each other still. Divorce is coming. Now we go to Natasha and Amir's house. And I'm sorry, they bore me. I don't care. I mean, I know that he's been through a lot and blah, blah, blah. They've got a storyline that everyone cries about and stuff. I find them extremely boring. I'm bored. Although I did like that they gave us a reason to not like Amir today because I needed one. I don't even remember what the reason was not to like him. But the vasectomy stuff.

33:53Oh, we'll get to it later. It's not that deep. But the premise of the scene, that's all that matters, is that Amir wants everyone to come together. And why not do it amongst the innocence of kids and relax? I'm like, oh, fuck off. Surely everybody will behave around the kids. Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I was like, this is like my nightmare. You're going to force me to go to a kiddie party with Bouncy Castle to mend wounds? No. No. Get out of here. And now we go to the Woods Weed Cafe where Gigi, Reza, and MJ are going to go so Gigi can smoke some weed because she's a rebel. I smoke weed, guys.

34:32That's my personality. I smoke ganja. Aren't I crazy? See, the only way to make me less violent and playing with knives is to smoke grass. And she even lights her joint like she's in high school. She's like, yeah, me, I'm smoking marijuana. Yeah, don't give me that look. You want to fight? Meet me behind the supermarket at 3 p.m. Don't be late. Okay, guys, I saw this house today. Check it out. So she pulls out a listing, and MJ's like, What? You're going to buy this house? It's so expensive. Well, they listed it for sale, but then he's like, You know what? We're also going to be listing it for lease as well.

35:21And I said, How much? And he said,$14 ,500. $14 ,500! That is some white people bullshit. That is crazy. It's a lot of money, but I thunk about it all day. Yeah, I thunk real hard. And I'm going to ask Dennis for the money, guys. And they're looking and Reza's like, how much money? I love Reza losing his mind with Gigi's terrible financial choices. It is so funny seeing the look on his face because he cannot deal. And she's like, well, three thousands of it, three thousands of it will come from him per month because he still owes me alimony. He's like, put the lease on him. Alimony. I'm sure. How are you getting alimony for being married for a week?

36:06You were annulled. It was annulled. You don't get alimony for an annullment, right? No. And by the way, I don't think so. He fucked my friend a week after we got married. So he owes me$3 ,000 a week for the rest of his life. What are you talking about? So you're working this guy that you threw out of the vacation house, sent his ass packing, and now you're going to hit him up and squeeze him? Hopefully she puts his name on the lease because what if he doesn't want to give her money after month one, two, three, four? Then you're stuck paying like$14 ,000. Bitches be like owing a lot of money, am I right?

36:42But also where's she getting the other 9 ,000? I know, there's that question too. So MJ's like, okay, well, so anyway, I'm having like a twilight open house and, you know, at your sister's house. And she's like, oh. well you know I've been selling your sister's home and it hasn't sold so now we have to you know all show up in a loving supportive way I don't think I can make it that day I'm going to a convention for bad girls and MJ is like like don't say that she's like I just did no I'm going to a punch it convention it's a convention that I go to where I just need to punch something I just need to hit it I'm so mad right now You know what it's like When you're raised on the mean streets Of your driveway In a nice house And you just have a rough and tumble childhood Of having a lot of money around Man, I'm angry The rough and tumble streets of Palos Verdes So the producers ask her What her relationship with her sister is like And she's like, um, non-existent And Mercer's definitely overstepping by throwing this twilight at my sister's house and inviting me.

38:02But I guess she overstepped it a decade ago when she decided to become best friends with my sister. Knowing the dynamic between my sister and I. It's just so much overstepping. I need to hit something. MJ is being a little bit of a fucker. Because it's one thing to be like, just so you know I'm doing this thing. But she's like, so you're not going to come? You're not going to be supportive? I don't understand why Gigi hates her sister so much, but I will at least appreciate that she does. And like, that's ridiculous to ask Gigi to come to it. And also, why do you want Gigi there? She's going to make a scene and she's also not interesting.

38:37Well, that's the whole point. MJ is trying to make a show. She's like, you've got to be there to fight with my sister and my husband's got to be here to fight with Reza. What are you people not understanding? We have been given another chance. Reza's like, if you don't want to come, that's one thing, but you don't need to insult her. And she's like, I'm not insulting anyone. I'm just looking for a nice surface that I can punch because I'm angry. And Reza's like, yeah, but you just said that's my family. Back off. I think you're pushing it, Reza. Dude, we're all in a good place. Okay, by the way, Adam brought you a small little ramekin of tabooly.

39:11Come on, we're in such a good place. So MJ is like, there's no loyalty here, okay? So figure it out. Or when it's time to show up for you, I will piss on your parade. And Gigi's like, oh, really? well is your husband coming mj why isn't he coming then and she's like well he doesn't feel comfortable oh well that's a good excuse for him although i don't feel comfortable either i don't feel comfortable either people aren't going to feel comfortable with my dildo up their asses either but guess what they're gonna buy it i'm ruining my own point just get on with it gg actually had a good point there that was that was good she set it up and she she got she got mj on that one and mj is like well okay well let's put the twilight on ice because i'm gonna say yeah mares we don't want mares to be a one house wanda huh mares should by the way mares should i text tommy and see if we can move past this like why are you laughing at me gg i'm being sincere i want to be like let's help mares not be a one house wanda and be a multi-house mares by us getting along.

40:17What do you guys think? Oh, really? You're gonna text Tommy right now? That's something I'd like to see. Okay, I'll encourage that. That's funny. So he does, and he texts him, and he's like, hi, Tommy. I'm sorry if this seems like it's coming from left field, but I wanted to say, hey, white boy, I'd love to see you at Mercer's Twilight Open. Like, I understand if bitches be like, that's not an option, but like I look forward to a time in our future where we could be in a better place. Regards, miss your farts in my face, Reza. I hope this text doesn't throw you the way you threw the cactus at my wall.

40:58Please, let's be friends again. So he's like, we need to figure this out. Maybe Tommy can process, but I might need some holy water.

41:13So Gigi is like, This is a big deal. Wow, did you send it? OMG. Even me, a bad girl, is stunned into submission with this. So Reza's like, yeah, if Tommy hits me back, I might have a heart attack. So now, Natalie and Amir's house, they put the kids to bed. And they're talking about having another kid. And Amir, Natasha wants him to get a vasectomy. And he's basically like, well, you know, we could do other things. Like I could wear a condom. And she's like, but we're married. I don't want to have to wear a condom with you. So then he's like, well, why don't you do birth control? Why do I have to go through?

41:53You're the woman. You should be the one who has to do things to your body. Not me, a man. Yeah, this is where I was like, oh, yeah, I don't like you. I knew I didn't like you. So he's like, yeah, just kind of birth control. And she's like, yeah, get a vasectomy because that's reversible. And I'm not putting hormones in my body. I eat healthy. I take all these supplements to be super healthy after having all these damn kids for you. And he's like, well, I got to go under surgery and subject my body to trauma. And she's like, oh, my God, I had three C-sections. You want to talk about your body going into fucking trauma?

42:26Come on. Good for her. Good for her for saying that. He's like, well, what if you decide that I'm over you and then I'm stuck with the vasectomized, you know, private part? She's like, so are you going to have kids with other people? He's like, no, I'm just saying in case I want to have kids with other people. she's like okay so you want to keep your options open great yeah he's not he's not doing great in this scene for sure yeah shut up and get and then he's like but i went through a crazy experience of my first marriage because um you know we couldn't conceive and now i'm able to have kids and it feels wrong to eliminate the ability to do something that was hard to do once oh shut up and get your teams tied you can get them you can get them untied later if you need to you would let's let's close up shop for the night okay so now we go over to westwood and tineen and reza meet up at a restaurant and reza's like you know i had a boy's night and like i'm sure greg told you about it and it was like really difficult and we see flashbacks to it and bombshot doing his old thing of like if you disrespect sky you're disrespecting my family if you disrespect my family you're disrespecting me so reza's like this man had his hat handed to him by his wife i could tell you know and she's like do you feel like you got off your chest about how you feel i was like yeah well so honestly the most important person i want to talk to was you which is why i actually waited like three episodes to talk to you and i'm like really sorry because i didn't like that i put you in a sticky situation and that was not my intent yeah right so we see him just totally outing timing for talking badly about sky and the moisturizer and all of that and she's like okay well accountability is huge to me so I really appreciate you apologizing wow I mean I felt like you just had so many things you were already upset about and he's like totally and she's like well look Sky feels like nobody likes her she feels ambushed she feels attacked and she hates that I didn't stand up for her he's like stand up for her she's nuts well whatever her insecurity is or whatever it is she's in this like defensive mode and she wants to protect it so badly what is she protecting some stupid jewelry she's like well i'll tell you a different start version of the story she did move to the states by herself with no family and that's why we accept them as our own family because we want them to feel like they have that but you would think that that would humble you and somehow it didn't that's the part that i'm talking about bitches be like not humble okay she's acting like a multi-house mares but she's a one woman wanda one house wanda whatever the wanda thing is she's like all the wandas she's like wanda no vision am i right high five bitches be making wanda puns yeah telling me about the about sky's upbringing that makes like so much sense because she has like zero self-awareness like she's like at the bottom of self-awareness so it makes total sense you know and so he asked her where they stand today and she's like well unless i see some drastic efforts there's no chance we can ever go back to that dun dun dun so then um we go to mj and tommy's house and they're painting a room alcatraz black for whatever reason maybe it's their podcast studio and mj's like so wanna know what i've been saying that's nice about you behind your back he's like no probably not well our podcast has been one of the main places where we've had healthy communication and i'm grateful for it oh man it sounded like a dragon just flew by but it was actually just the sound of my tigger tots in my stomach god just get rid of him what the hell he's like we got a podcast it's called till the dirt and the podcast has been great all right and when we sit down we turn that mic on we're honest we're vulnerable it's been a key to our relationship all right and she's like so are you gonna tell me who got a text from reza and we see reza calling mj and saying oh my god tommy responded to my text he said how did you get tabooly to fall out of my phone and then he wrote appreciate you reaching out we're almost wrapped so let's touch base once filming is done and we can go from there.

46:54So basically, Tommy's like, yeah, when you want to do this, not for a TV show, I'll give you a chance. Yeah. So MJ's like, that's great. He's like, yeah. Sorry about that. Whoa. That part must have registered on the Richter scale. Wow. So she talks about how it's like so hard doing such adulting and she tells him, you know, like I used to be so passionate about us. He's like, what you're not passionate about us now well i want to be but i have i have to feel safe to be passionate well look i don't get when you're talking about feeling safe i'm not saying that i'm perfect i'm falling from it i know i'm a good guy i know i'm a good guy but you know what you know i'm a good i'm a good i'm a good dude she's like yeah no you are a good guy no if i weren't a good guy i'd be gone okay i'd be gone dude sorry about that she's like yeah you would be gone and He goes, yeah, it would be gone.

47:52She says, well, we would never do that with Shams in the picture. So we want to make sure we're good, right? Just us. He's like, yeah, but there's also a level. Like, I don't want to teach him the wrong things either. So I'm not going to stay in a situation where I'm not happy. Because unhappy people, they leave popsicle sticks on tables. All right? And if you make a choice, you don't have to die with the decision. You can fix it. You can change it. Or you could just leave the bitch. You know what I'm saying? The irony of Tommy talking about, like, the impermanence of decisions that you make. while also like digging his heels in and absolutely never seeing Reza again.

48:24So MJ is like, okay, so I love that you said that because that makes me feel like you're not staying despite us just for him. But then I also want to know that we are staying for each other. Like, yeah, well, we should probably go to therapy, man. I mean, I think it's important for you to have someone that could be your salting board. Because it ain't going to be me. And she's like, yeah, I think I'm really happy. Like, you know, I'm happy because I thought it was hopeless, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I have hope for us now because he said the word therapy. And he's like, wow, you did good. All right.

48:59You married me. You did great. Yeah. Make me sad. That was a little. That was a kiss. That was like a kiss. Yeah, it was a little taco kiss. Yeah. It's always sad because, you know, it's not going to work out with them. So then we go to Natasha and Amir's house for their big party. And everyone arrives. adam and reza show up with giant boxes charcuterie i was like afraid the box would open up it would just be like tabbouleh piled on tabbouleh and reza's like oh my god you guys okay everyone gather around get around so mj and i go and we meet go nasa who were on great terms with let me tell you all about what was going on in her life so go she go nessa goes i went and saw this house and it's for rent for fourteen thousand dollars a month didn't he just get in trouble in the first episode for talking shit about Gigi's finances to people.

49:49And now immediately, he's like, oh my God, I can't wait to tell you Gigi's such a loser. 14 ,000 a month. And I'm like, okay, but she's got a plan. Get this. She's going to hit Dennis up for like three grand of that money. Like bitches be crazy. And they're like, whoa, this is a lot. And like, and but Tineen's like, why are you depending on someone who you say betrayed you? Like, why, where do you draw the line? And so Tanin's like, why the fuck would you do that? I love the fact that it seems like Tanin just hates Gigi. She has like no respect for Gigi. Because I feel like Tanin and Gigi are brought in from different worlds.

50:23Like there are different spokes of the central axis, whatever the connection is. And I feel like Tanin would never hang out with Gigi in any way, in any capacity, if it weren't for this TV show. I don't think any of these people would accept MJ and Reza. I think everybody looks at Gigi like, oh. because they're all like a more evolved place of their, of their life and their careers. Right. Even Reza. Yeah. Reza Jackson. Yeah. Honestly. So, um, Reza's like, they have a very unique relationship, right? So, um, Greg is there and he, and so Gigi walks up. She's like, hi everyone. And Greg's like, oh, we were just talking about you in the house that you checked out.

51:05She's like, hello is usually a word that you say to someone unless you want them to get angry and mad i mean you can talk shit about me you can definitely say hello to me right and uh he's like calm down bro you came in hot again she's like i have nothing to fucking hide but like why am i always the fucking topic in this group like move on talk about your failing marriages or something that was a good point that she made also she did not come in hot you guys you literally she walks up and you say we were just talking about you what's going on with your finances like you came in hot greg so then vita shows up which is great uh she starts patrolling right away and rez trolling and rezz rolling both why is why is the circle tree out in the sun i don't what this is dangerous they ask if sky is coming nobody knows has anybody talked to sky oh my god and adam's like i texted her she didn't respond and i can't imagine i can't imagine does anybody respond to adam's text ow your text hurt me gg so greg's like yeah well every time she gets into anything with my wife my wife has to reach out and it's over and how important is this relationship and taunting's like yeah you know we'll be cordial whatever so then mj shows up with shams and um elijah comes up to gg he's like mom i need my police radar i'm gonna call the police because that other kid said stupid and she goes oh yeah well maybe you need to say we don't say words like that no mom he said that you're stupid and then all the kids started agreeing why am i always a fucking topic around here so then gg sits down with adam and she's like i'm not gonna get on your case because you're not giving me any best friend attention because you're trying to take care of your husband right now he's like oh gg he wants me to give him some more affection like touching oh yeah yeah you should probably should do that and i'm like thinking maybe tantric yoga or maybe just not doing anything with him yeah okay you could do either one of those things but i've heard that you can have an orgasm just my contact with tantric yoga it's very intimate he's like do you think tantric yoga is something reza would be into she's like um anything that's i mean maybe if there's some rolls there or something you know that he could snack on i mean he'd be into that you know you can get some undies some lubes and he's like but isn't being naked enough okay so you want to go to naked hot yoga sex yoga with reza why do you need to fill my visuals with this nobody needs that?

53:51Please don't put that upon the public. No. Even just the thought of it is really like, imagine the two of them sitting there naked like cross-legged, just staring into each other's eyes and then just like both orgasming. I'm like, I don't need that. So then Bombshot arrives alone. Everyone's like, oh my God, Bombshot's alone. And Adam's like, oh my God. Hey, by the way, do you think Rez and I should have kids? Does anyone think, should we bring this back? I'm like, please don't bring back this four season saga that we had to endure. No, no kids. We didn't believe you the first time around. We're not going to believe you at age 60 or whatever the hell we're pushing now.

54:27Stop it. Reza Jax is confused. He's like, how does that even work? Is it like this? He puts his two fingers together like the girl from Out of This World. Like two penises touching. Like that's not how it goes.

54:41So then Vida comes over and she's talking to the lifeguard. So she Because they've hired a lifeguard for this party, this pool party. And she goes over and she's like, um, I don't know that you should be here. You should be over there. The kids should not be going that far. They should only be going this far. This is not very safe. He's like, the kids are fine. No, no, no, no, no, no. The kids should not be going over there. It's very unsafe for the kids. What are you a lifeguard? And he goes, yeah, I'm a lifeguard. She goes, oh, okay. She's like, the kids should not be in the deep end. He's like, I know that's why I'm standing here.

55:17no but you know they should be in the shallow end i know but you're professional i am he's like fuck off lady i just cracked up when he goes yeah i am a lifeguard she goes oh okay it's like she got she finally got stumped they're like vita's coming we better get a professional because you know she's going to ask somebody if they're a professional yeah i love that i love She just goes over to inspect the lifeguard for his credentials. So then the rest of the gang is sitting together under this tent because, you know, it's blazing hot there and they all only have this tiny little tent to crowd under.

55:54So they're asking where's Skye? Bombshot said that she's in Vegas for a jewelry convention. And Reza's like, yeah, it's been a minute since Boy's Night, huh? Remember all the snacks I put out? And Tanion is saying, yeah, by the way, this is the most we've seen Bombshot in quite some time. look at him he's happy something so relaxed this is where the cast starts to slowly start to divorce you like they start to try and get you divorced so it's just like wow he's so relaxed now right everybody doesn't he look happier without sky right he's like well i'm conflicted you know it's not easy to forgive and forget well it's not easy to forget it's very easy to forget what were we talking about who are we talking about you're right it is he forget so um gg and rezz are talking and gg's like i'm surprised bomb shot's here i was happy to see him so he came without his wife then what's that about and then mj's asking bomb shot how he feels and he's like i mean i feel okay but i think bomb springs for me was a bit of surprise because i feel like i was disrespected and if you disrespect my wife you disrespect my family and they're all like and if you disrespect my family you're disrespecting me yes bombshot we know your line you worked hard hard on it very hard on it good job so mj is like yeah but like you know i think she thinks she's right and she's holding on to being right more and then she you know she would rather that than mend fences and you know we love and care about her so you know you're the only one that's really talking to her that she shows up so you need to do something and he's like yeah but But you've got to understand the whole situation also put me in a compromising position with my wife.

57:37By compromising, I mean I woke up with a pillow over my head, being pressed down very, very hard. And she said, I probably would have killed you if I didn't have to walk to a whole other room and get myself tired in the process. She told me, you can't even die right. MJ goes, well, I'm just saying she should show up to my event because I'm really putting a lot into this Twilight Open. at Layla's house. Reza Jack's like, yeah, she wants buyers. No, no, I don't. I just want that Skye doesn't exclude herself because I hate a divide. And I've been the person on the outside and I've been the one that is feeling like that on the sidelines.

58:18And Bombshot's like, well, let me tell you all one thing. I don't think she has any negative feelings, anything bad towards any of you at all. If you feel that way, maybe you should reach out to her and ask her because I cannot answer that. Yes, Skye has no bad feelings whatsoever. However, she just can't wait to see everyone and hang out specifically in the valley at a valley restaurant. Although I'm glad he did say this part because MJ is like, yeah, I just want Sky to know how much I care about her. And I know what it's like. And I totally feel for her. He's like, well, you haven't called her once.

58:46I mean, it's been how long has it been since that nobody's calling her? What are you guys talking about? And they kind of shut MJ up. She's like, oh, right. Yeah. I mean, I guess I could. He's like, I don't think she'll have her guard down anytime soon. So going in forward, watch out. She's coming for you. And Amir's like, well, we don't want to put him in the hot seat again. That's for sure. And Bob's like, no, and I will never do it again. There's definitely some walls and there's some things. And hopefully we'll get through it. Hopefully. But time will tell. Because if you insult my wife, you insult my family.

59:19And if you insult my family, you insult me. Wow, he's really a one Wanda word, man. One word Wanda. And then the screen closes up on Reza's face in a little circle. Then he winks and it goes to black. That brings us to the end of the Valley Persian style and the end of our week. Next week, we are going to be at the South Beach Food and Wine Festival in Mijami on the 21st, I believe. So come see us over there. It's going to be a fun little podcast we're going to do and eating around the festival. So we hope to see you there and grab your tickets for the Golden Crappies live streaming over at WatchWhatCrappens.com for February 27th.

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