#3222 Below Deck Down Under S04E03: Sous Vida

0:00What Crap Happens I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hey, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Everybody, super fun week. We're about to go to Miami for the South Beach Food and Wine Festival. We will be there on the 21st doing a podcast. So excited. It's 2.15. Come see us if you guys are going to be down there. Also, we are in final voting for the Golden Crappy Awards. Round two is up now. You can find links to vote. Your vote is very important. The nominations are all yours. You guys did it. So they're so funny. Go over there and vote. You can find links on our Instagram or watch what crappens.com.

1:05That's also where you will find links to buy tickets for the golden crappies on February 27th and also live streaming tickets. It's going to be a very big production, production, professionally shot and everything. It's going to be fabulous. So get your tickets over there for that. Patreon is also where you get videos like this one, bonus episodes on the traders, ad-free listening, and our free newsletter. Oh, gay homosexuals. Ben, welcome to the show. How are you feeling today? I'm feeling great. How are you feeling? So good because Below Deck Down Under really delivered the juice. They delivered it.

1:46I was cheering at the end of this episode. I was giggling like a little girl who got a present. and I know you were too because you texted me right after you finished watching it as well that is a true statement I was not anticipating the twist at the end of this episode it was such a big twist it was such a funny decision on their part they I mean they're masochists that they brought Ellie back I did not see that coming and when it's like okay they decide to put Ellie in the kitchen with Ben it makes no sense whatsoever her whole thing is that she wants to be a chief stew like she's desperate to become a chief stew but she's just so excited to be back on tv that she's happy to work with ben and she comes on all cheery and we just know that this is gonna be a disaster and it's such a disaster for the first time in the history of below deck and quite possibly any bravo show we got a mid-season trailer after episode three i've never seen that before they're like yeah this shit is such a disaster that we have to give you a sneak peek of what you're about to see.

2:51And not only that, they had her narrate it, which was really funny. It was like, coming up this season on Below Deck. I was like, oh no, when Ellie is like heading the whole trailer, oh girl. And it was bonkers. It was beyond perfect. Super exciting. I mean, when Below Deck has been on this long and it's constant, it never goes, it's on year round. It's every fucking day, it seems like. And it can still excite you. I mean, wow. Well done. Well done. Yeah. It was really tremendous. And, you know, we've been joking about how Ben has been calling Alicia, like, you know, honey buns and all this stuff.

3:27We're like, it's so gross. Ellie is not going to stand for it based on the trailer. Don't call me honey buns. Oh, my God. It's going to be insane. Guys, it may not be the hero you want, but it's the hero you need. So let's get going. We start where we left off, which is Alicia crying to Jason, being like, I'm doing my absolute best. and I can tolerate it for a certain amount of time. But I mean, I'm already losing my head and I can't, I can't do this. I'm just waving the white flag. Get me out of here. I can't do it. Everything's going wrong. And he's like, have you spoken to Ben about this? Why didn't they just cast Mauricio to play the man confused with women's feelings?

4:06Because he is just giving her that blink, blink. Mauricio's on every other show. Just put him on this one. I know. And she says, she's like, well, he can't change. it would be a better boat if you had someone who had better skill set than me he's like well this is below deck and you're actually at the high end of the people that we staff on the show so i don't think it's really going to happen but this is happening at a moment because we're understaffed and it's actually probably going to get a lot better when he gets on top of things because i don't want you going through this season you know feeling like this continuously i'm actually hoping that you could put his personality to one side and you can just see how you can fit in it's like no it's going to be like this the entire time we've seen ben on two different versions of blow deck and he is like this whether they're understaffed overstaffed or just right staffed yeah he would be like that to somebody with a staff infection i mean he's just like that that's just how ben is so jason's like well i brought back elisa this season because i wanted to continue to grow i want her to grow in the industry i know she wants to be a chef uh i don't want her to throw away her dreams after one charter and so he's like listen i had a vision of you coming back and just learning and she's like yeah well that was my vision two days ago and guess what now i've got a vision of my mother on facetime giving me double mid of fingers and saying i told you so i told you so you little fucking loser uh so um he's like all right well can we readdress that vision can we have a vision board can we put a little kimono on that vision what can we do can we crash that vision into a dock how can we make this vision work for this boat she's like i don't want to let him down but I'm at the end of my tether so he hugs her and he's like you know I'd be disappointed if you left and she said I'd be disappointed too listen I think that Jason always has this problem when it comes down to staff issues he wants them to work it out themselves he doesn't want to have to be the person in there that's one style of leadership but I would prefer a solid listen this is a workforce stop your fucking sniveling grow some heels and get your ass back down there and deal with it.

6:13It's not personal. He's not yelling at you. He's yelling at his sous chef. It's like a video game. You know, you start it. You're given no weapons. You don't know what to do. Anybody can kick your ass. You know, you suck. You have to learn all of the little key combinations and stuff and eventually you earn a better sword and you get better at it. Everybody sucks at first and everybody's yelled at and everybody's treated like shit. So fucking grow a pair of heels and get back down into that kitchen and if you cry one more fucking time, I'm drowning you. And that's it. God, I would love a final boss like Ben, where you just go up.

6:46Even just the first boss, a mini boss, a tutorial boss where you go up, you're like, eh, and he goes, nice try, honey bun, do it again. It's like, uh, okay, eh. Did you remember to put sugar in the cheesecake? It's called a dessert for a reason. It's just a boss that belittles you. And you're like, I'm trying to kill you with my sword. I don't care, I'm trying to make a souffle. Listen here, maple mumps. get over there and try it again idiot yeah that would be great but I agree it is like a video game and yeah you know you just sort of have to push through sometimes at least after one charter on the other hand she's completely inept and she's not cut out for the kitchen and whatever skills she had last season they've she left them on the hill because she's somehow worse than she was before and sometimes it is good to know really where your limits are and just to cut and run so i think in this case normally i'd be like hey come on stick at it you'll be okay but she really she forgot to put sugar in she forgot to put sugar in the cheesecake you know she put the frittata on high like it's every single day it's like something really chaotic and bad like so bad that you're like okay maybe we should move you over to like the gap or something that's true but But you know what?

8:05Cooking is a skill. It's not necessarily a talent. I mean, food is a talent. You know, I'm not saying that there are no people with talent in it. But cooking itself is a skill. It's a learned skill. So at some point you just have to like. But so is flying a plane. So is flying a plane. And I'm not going to like put Alicia in the co-pilot chair either. Okay. That's true. But if you've already got one inept person who doesn't know what they're doing to be like, oh, you know what we'll do? Well, let's just switch it around and get another inept person and we'll move you over here where you're only slightly inept and we'll just put another inept person there.

8:43Like what? I know that it has to do with casting, too. And I guess sous chefs aren't apparently a big thing on yachts or at least on this show because last year was the first one. They even had one. So maybe they just can't find them. I don't know. But the whole thing, I'm just like, come on, Jason, dude, give her a good talking to or something. But like replacing one flat tire with another flat tire is crazy. Crazy. And thank you for doing it. And thank you. Yes. And thank you. The Real Housewives are still on this boat, by the way. And so Heather and Whitney are looking around for Heather's nipple cover.

9:23Even the nipple covers want to get away from Heather. Let that be a lesson to you. Even your nipples are running away. Mm-hmm. it's a bad sign. Mike and Daisy are prepping a table, and Mike is like, me and Daisy have been getting along very well. She's very independent, very strong-willed, plus five foot and blonde hair. That's ticking a lot of boxes. It's like, okay. And she's just like, whatever. Crazy hair. So then we go to the galley, and Alicia is, she comes back after having cried to Jason, and she's put a smile back on, and they start prepping breakfast, and Daisy is radioing. The guests would like to do yoga with Jason this morning.

10:05So Jason goes upstairs. He starts leading this yoga class. That's supposed to be, I guess, a moment of relaxation and tranquility, but doesn't really go in that direction. Yeah, so Jason's leading and Heather's like, how are you feeling, Brittany? Fucking yoga, Heather. And Brittany's like, Lisa gets to say whatever she wants to mean. She just gets to say, I'm sorry. And that's the end of it. And I'm kind of over it. I mean, do you know what I'm saying? Come on, Heather. Do you know what I'm saying? Come on. They're like doing the down dog and stuff. And they're like, no, just do the yoga. And Jason's like, all right, right leg up, right leg forward, kimono open.

10:43And Brittany's like, I mean, I guarantee I will never hear an apology for all the horrible things that she spewed at me last night. There's like a big kaboom that happens. And it's bullshit. And I hate it. All right. And then downward dog gets your butt up in the air. And I'm a moron on this. I didn't call her anything. Jason's like yoga is a form of meditation I don't think that's really good for this group Brittany's like she won't apologize Jason's like I'm namasteing out of this this is bullshit so he leaves he just cuts it really short he's like bye and we were wondering when we were watching this on Salt Lake City like that was the shortest yoga class ever now we just see Jason's like nah no no he's not in any mood for this so in the galley Alicia is squeezing lime And Ben's like, no, honey buns.

11:30Just use the lime juice, honey. No, what are you doing? She's like, the juicer. No, we got lime juice in the bottom of the fridge. Please, can you use that? Come on now. She's like, but I love you, Ben. And I really respect you. But I don't want to be here. The lime juice is the straw that broke the camel's back. I actually fucking hate it. I hate it. Okay, that's fine. But stop putting lime juice in the middle of the cheesecake. That's the wrong place for it. Sugar in the cheesecake. Lime juice on the fish. how many times I have to explain it to you. All right there, pixie puss. Tell me what's going on.

12:02Go ahead. Talk to me. Talk to me. She's like, well, I cry every day and I can't do the job and you'd be better off with someone with qualifications. And he's like, I realize a lot of this stress is because you aren't a chef and sometimes I treat you like a chef. Okay, I understand. But your temperament is just too much. What temperament? That's the most amazing. He's like, what? you mean my kind attitude. It's like, the outburst, fine. The outburst is just too much. Please. He goes, please understand that, you know, what we do requires a lot of perfection or some perfection or just a base level adequacy or, I don't know, the simplest of logic.

12:46And if you don't have that, I apologize. Sometimes I'll get a little hard on you. But I don't want to upset you because you don't have that many brain cells. and why dedicate any of them to tears. Am I right? He's like, I can't do it. I'm just utterly useless. He's like, all right, listen, I've been a bit of a dick to work with. All right, I'm going to admit that. So he's like, well, I'm useless. It's fair. He's like, well, that's it, love. That's it. Nailed it. Nailed it with that one. You're useless as well. Find some lime juice. I believe in you. So he's like, she's saying that she respects me and that she wants to quit at the same time.

13:23It feels terrible because I should be a good boss and a good leader. And if someone's going to quit on me, that's not good for me. Just kidding. I really don't care. Get me someone new, please. Anyone. Now Bronwyn and Meredith are wearing their inflatable silly costumes. They're like, oh my God, my marriage is terrible, but I'm going to pretend it's fun by putting on an inflatable costume and going to the airport. Costumes that Bronwyn wears. And Betul just sees them and she's like, what? What is going on? and then they take that stupid little stuffed animal thing and is this where they throw it in?

14:00They throw it in the water. Well, they throw it in. So they do the whole thing that we saw before, which is that they go to bring it up, they throw it in and Joao's just watching. And he's like, right now what we're doing is we're polluting the sea with a fucking unicorn. We don't do that in Zim. It's a findable offense, a jailable offense. and in Zim, they'll throw popcorn at your head for it. So no matter how colorful the thing is, it's still littering. Ha! Ha! So we see Joao go on the tender and pull the unicorn from the water. So it was Joao. It was Joao. And notably, the entire second half of the season, the entire second half of Salt Lake City, we could maybe blame it on Joao because it was Joao who went and fetched the unicorn.

14:47And if he had never fetched the unicorn, and Brittany would not have been sad and then everyone would have felt bad for Brittany and Meredith would maybe not have lost her mind at that point on the plane. Who's to say? Who's to say? I did like that it was one douchebag saving the gift of another douchebag. It's like, wait a minute. That's true. He's like, wait a minute. That seems like it came from another douchebag. I must save it. Must save it. Wonder where he got this made. I've got to get one of these things. It's me. I love you. You are loved. Have a wonderful sleep. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. zim you are zimmed you just hug it and it goes boom you just got jawowed zim zim zim zim zim you are zimmed it's a very confusing stuffed animal mommy what is this animal doing we don't know I am Build-A-Bear I'm returning this it just told my child that it got zimmed now i don't know what the fuck you think mommy can we go to zimbabwe now where did you get that idea from um mommy unicorns are better in zimbabwe it's the land of the unicorn it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial Daisy and Jason, and he's handing her CVs and stuff.

16:17And, oh, no, he answered the comment cards. And she's like, oh, God, oh, God, please, no. And he's like, they're not menus, they're reviews, so just look them over. For our guests, you know, they're going into a beautifully designed box, all right? They're locked. They walk off, and a lot of them don't want to tell us what they really feel. So I think this is something that we can look at as a captain and actually analyze where things are moving. Do you understand? I want to know what changes that we can make so I can avoid making them at all costs. And I also want to avoid having to keep an eye out on what changes I don't want to make at any time either.

16:52So you guys do it for me. So, um, Daisy's like, all right, this is making me quite anxious. Like, who is it? Well, I mean, it's good pressure. It's good pressure. It's good pressure. I'm nervous. I don't know what these zombie women are going to tell Jason. But, you know, I'm good at reflection. And I think it's a great idea to progress even better. If it's a good comment, then I get a good comment and I'm winning. Winning! So now she hands out all the review forms as the anchor is being lifted. And now the ladies are all sitting for breakfast. And Angie is back with them after her barfing the whole episode last time.

17:33So she comes in and she's like, how are you two feeling today? That is the real question. I am Greek. Well, I'm a survivor and I can deal with a lot of hatred thrown my way. And it's interesting because in the Salt Lake City reunion, we find out that one of the reasons that Meredith has been so furious with Britney is because Britney was supporting a hair salon or a nail salon or something in Salt Lake City that was under fire for making really anti-Semitic comments to a client that went viral. and Britney wrote them a review and it was this whole thing. And so Andy was like, well, do you think that Britney is anti-Semitic?

18:14Is that what you're saying? She's like, well, yes, I do. And I think that she's treated me a certain way on this show. And so it became a big thing. So now watching this all back, you hear Meredith's language in kind of a different way, right? Because she's like, well, I have taken plenty of hatred from this one. You know, she's made a couple of comments like that. And so you see it in a different light. yeah yeah i definitely picked up on that as well so she's like this pea brain behind me i barely even know and they start fighting and he's like i mean at the stage if they weren't fighting i'd generally be worried i actually think i'd have to pull out the defib and i'm like are you alive are you okay can you hear me i'm loving daisy's um confessionals this season because she's really animated she's always been really animated but have you noticed she's doing like body work now She'll be like, I mean, at this stage, if they weren't fighting, I'd genuinely be worried.

19:11I was like, wow, you're really, you're giving it the shoulders and everything. I love it. She probably always was doing that, but because she was on a sailing boat, she was moving so much because of the boat, it just looked like she was sitting still. I don't know. So Jenna is like, she's like, I think they forgot about every single meal. And Daisy says, well, that's why I don't think they eat. That's why they're so skinny. That's what we should do. we should fight till we forgot to eat it's not a bad idea so then the boat comes in to dock it's docking docking docking they're doing it they're gonna dock and then britney's like she can call me a pea brain and you can call me a dingbat is there any friends here for me is there anyone for me and heather's like yeah i'm gonna go change and we need to be packed up and off the boat because the sooner we're off the boat the sooner i can go to my hotel room and have sex with jason what did i say that what well only haters think that other people are haters and i'll just leave it at that wow nice final words which mean nothing you don't make any sense britney so the women fill out their review cards um and i think everyone should just say heather needs to stop fucking screaming yeah that's that would be i think all the fish in the sea are saying that right now so heather's reading it and the question is like who stood out the most so she chooses mike And then Whitney's like, no, it says what stood out the most, not who.

20:33And so they fill out their cards. Thank God Whitney's here. I know, right? The anchor stood out. Best crew ever. Thank you so much for everything. Thanks for having us here. Even though you didn't have Vita tequila, it was still an amazing, amazing yacht. The kind that I would totally recommend to Ben and Blake. Oh, are you guys going to miss us? I know you're going to miss us. And now they're all hugging the crew. And of course, Jenna loves them. So she's like, I'm going to miss these housewives. Oh, I love the drama. I love it. Well, we have had a trip of a lifetime. You guys absolutely rose to the occasion.

21:20This is a small token of our appreciation. and we want you guys to go out on the town and just do us proud. Like, okay. So they leave and then Daisy's like, oh, one second. And so she comes back and she brings Uni the unicorn over to Brittany. And Whitney's like, does it still work? And she's like, no, it's broken. You guys, who threw this over? Was it Meredith that you guys are just trying to cover for her? Why? And they just walk off and we know it's actually kind of fun watching them walk off because we know what shit show they're about to go enter onto with that airplane. Yeah, that begins the next half of the season on Salt Lake City.

22:04Daisy's like, oh, finally, I can hear myself. I can hear myself think. And you know what I'm thinking? Get off the damn boat. So then the crew starts prepping the boat for the next charter and Jason's Jason's reading the comment cards. Five stars, five stars, loved access to the Wattis toys, more Magic Mike, what could be improved, not a damn thing. It's good to hear. So no issues with the cards. Only Heather would want more Mike. Yeah, honestly. That is a starved, starved lady. Yeah, that is someone who's starving, you know? That is the last dry bagel on the Hyatt Place buffet in the morning.

22:48Ooh. That's pretty dry. Oh, put some powdery scrambled eggs on that one. So Jason, time for a tip meeting. All right, guys, the first meeting of the season, we didn't expect to start off with a crew member down and there was a professional docking and the food went out perfect. The service was amazing. There were some complaints that the cheesecake tasted like cardboard and turns out you actually served cardboard. So maybe don't do that next time. And this season we have review cards from all the charter guests and they get a chance to say what they feel. And in general, five star. Mike gets a lot of attention.

23:21They said, we love how his hair looks like an Olympic torch. That was absolutely beautiful. This one says, I did not approve of being called a pea brain. No fair. And fair is spelled F-A-Y-R. So that's a bit confusing. But you know what? It was just an experiment. So try it again next time. This card says, you'll do better next time, Custard Domes. Oh, sorry. That one was for me, for Alicia. Apologies. All right. This one says, need more stains on the mattress for them to be believable. All right. Well, try again next time. Still a five star. I don't understand that one. Did you call Mike's hair Olympic torch?

24:03Because I feel like as soon as I said that, I was like, wait a second. I think Ronnie said that last week. I think you said it. I was saying he looks like Heat Miser. I think you said Olympic torch hair. It's definitely giving. I think he looks like troll doll or like Phyllis Dillard or Heatmiser, something like that. Yeah, I think he said Olympic torch hair. I just really have that in my brain. I don't know why. It's not like they're happening right now. So he's like, all right, everyone was 100 % happy. And this is the best tip that we've ever seen in my life. It's$35 ,000. Right. $35 ,000, which is crazy.

24:44I was surprised. I think there was a tip last, I think last season on Below Deck Med, I think those, the mob wives left a 40K tip. Yeah, they got 40. Right? We're like, whoa. But 35 is very, very generous, you know? And we'd expect nothing less from a Bravo Liberty, Scott and Candessa. And also from our OnlyFans, that's right, gay porn stars. Oh, God. Yeah, I don't know that we'd expect anything. from the gay porn stars, but definitely, definitely from Contessa. So they cheer again and they're rich. Alicia's like, oh my god, Ben who? I had a stressful time and cried every day. Who cares? I'm rich!

25:29And he's like, alright everyone, go out tonight, look after each other. Also one last thing, here's the helmet and we're not going to use it. Alright! So then I didn't like that. You didn't like that no one had the helmet? No, I think he's playing favoritism because we all know who deserves that helmet is Cry Pants. Cry, cry, cry. That's who deserved it. She should have had it. He's going to have to restaff the boat because of her, you know, change around positions because of her. And it should have been her. But he's friends with her now off the boat. Favoritism. Favoritism. Yeah. So Ben and Jenna are having a glass of wine while people are getting ready to go out.

26:08They're kind of flirting down in the galley. And he's like, I'm a stand-up comedian. Putting globes. And she's like, really? He's like, yes, I am. Where can I watch you? It's a subscription thing. I'll pay it for it. It's fine. Don't you worry. Ba-dum-dum-cha. She's like, usually with older men, they seem like they have their shit together. And they probably have a dog and a house already. There's maturity there, you know. And you won't find that with the 20-year-old still cradling next to his mommy. It's become a life mission for me to make you laugh a little bit, you know. this crush on Ben is bizarre.

26:47You're too young. It won't work out well. And you're also aiming for like the upper echelons of like the 1%. So I don't know if that's going to be your aim. Don't just pick somebody because they're old and they probably have, you know, a mortgage. That's not a good enough reason. Trust me, I'm old and I have a mortgage. It's no reason. So everyone's getting ready and Ben sees Joao in shorts. Like, are you wearing jean shorts? He's like, yes, I am. They love that in the Eastern Hemisphere. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What did I tell you? Stand up all the time. That's me. And Eddie's like, oh, tonight I'm really looking forward to the dance floor.

27:28Alicia, the dance floor, me. I can't wait to pull out my moves. Spoiler alert, they involve thumbs. Yeah. In the car, he, like, he, like, pokes her, like, pokes her in the armpit or something and smells it. and then she smells his armpit and they're like smells quite nice actually and then they get to this this is the couple everybody wants to avoid at the golden corral you can just see it yeah so they get to this club it's just basically like three houses in a row i wonder i guess i'll just probably have to go to this club every single time because it seems like it's a pretty desolate island and um they order drinks and then eddie just starts dancing and it's just mortifying because you just know the local this feels like it's a club for the locals and the locals are like what is this guy doing oh my god and he's doing this like exaggerated dad dance like he's like he knows he's not a good dancer so he does that thing where he exaggerates how bad of a dancer he is and he's like i love dad dancing you got the sprinkler you got the shopping trolley you know have a look around you got the golf swing you got the lawnmower there's a whole plethora and if anyone critiques it they're wrong because you can't critique dad dancing i'm like i can actually and I want you to stop.

28:37Actually, dad dancing in itself is a critique. It's called dad dancing. That's why they call it dad. That is the critique, sir. And he literally does do a golf swing. He's like, wow, that's one of his moves. All the embarrassing things. And Jenna's like, he looks like a bird trying to ruffle his feathers to attract the mate, as opposed to Ben, who just looks like a bird who's just walking down a sidewalk. God, so hot. God, I love him. he's just so old i love birds trying to attract a mate i love those videos i've served those all the time because every time i'm served them i watch them like 10 times in a row so they just keep serving them and they're so funny i saw one the other day like fly up to this little bird and it just puts one one of his wings up at a time and like moves his head over and then puts up the other wing and moves his head over and it just keeps doing it over and over it's like yeah bird dances are crazy it's like that one bird bird that's like in the original planet earth there was that one bird that they really featured big time where it would just like stand there and like put its face out big like like puffed its feathers out like a big oval and like dance left and right uh still somehow they have better dance moves than eddie though um so they're dancing and uh they're like god he's really really bad and then meanwhile jason is on the boat and he's just watching salt lake city first time he's like all right let's see what this is all about and he He presses play.

29:58It's like. You are disgusting. It's like, oh, wow. Wow. So we go back to Alicia and Eddie is still dancing. And now they're rubbing butts together. She's kind of doing the white girl twerk thing. And then they start kind of white people twerking on each other's butts. And then she says if she was going to take anybody home, it would probably be Eddie. just so she could hear her mom say, oh, God, you're too good for my girl. That's for sure. Run while you can. Run. Seriously. He goes, you can do whatever you want to me. She goes, I do do whatever I want. He goes, then kiss me then. He goes, fuck off.

30:38You can't get the wrong opinion. I'm a taken woman. He's like, what? Wait, what? I've got a boyfriend. You're taking it too deep. Have you not heard my confessionals about Whistler? she says i met my boyfriend in whistler in a bar in canada and he was standing on the chair dancing and he pulled me up and he said you're right darling you want a drink and that was that really turns out standing on a chair on a mountain in canada was really hot for me so he knows but eddie knows that i'm like really really flirty because uh well my boyfriend knows i'm really really flirty because we've only been together for two months and for the record with eddie i did think about it.

31:19It did cross my mind, but unless you've got a chair, I'm not getting up there. That's my motto. He's like, well, there's flirtiness and then there's not flirtiness. She's giving out mixed signals. Yeah, and also, dance less. Yeah, you're giving out bad signals right now. Also, I think that the whole she's giving out mixed signals is kind of a, I don't think we say that anymore. I think that's a pretty retrograde thing. I mean, I was surprised for sure, but at that point you say oh okay and you move on yeah um so um i don't know he seems he seems fine he seems harmless he's at least respectful you know i mean i'm used to below deck guys so i was like well at least he backed off when she told her he did he did he did the right thing i'm just saying like that was always like she's given up mixed signals was always like the the phrase for sexual harassers uh for decades on end and like but what what of course i put my my hand on her ass she was giving out mixed signals so when he said that i was like well for sure it was after like some kind of yeah yeah yeah so alicia's alicia's like uh i'm giving my lips where they need to be around a burger or some sausages no not those kinds of sausages i'm a Taken woman, cameraman.

32:42Oh, God. So we leave the bar. A few mixed messages. Go back to the bar. Give another few. I guess we just need to come up with a different term for it. I mean, I don't know. So they leave the bar and they go back to the boat. And some people go to bed. Some people go to the hot tub. And it's time to play Shag Marry Kill, which is normally a pretty innocent game. although nobody really wants to be told that they're the one that's married you know like i want to marry him like he seems like the one i can cheat on or i don't know i feel like that's the least complimentary one it's a tricky game i've seen enough love island seasons to know that this one could go awry you know because yes no one people want to be the one that gets kissed but marriage is actually the higher compliment and i've seen so many times where the guy chooses the one that he really likes for marriage.

33:38And then like, she gets really mad about it. So you have to tread delicately. I feel like marriage is a backhanded compliment because they're saying like, don't want to fuck you, but you probably will take care of me the best. Like you'd pay the bills, but I don't want to fuck you. That's how I take that one. Right. But it really should be the other way, which is like, wow, you're actually so great that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And this person is just like an empty kiss. But people, of course, see it the other way around. Everybody wants to be fucked, you know? Everyone wants to just be the kiss.

34:07Like you want to give away everything and you will sacrifice everything for that kiss. And marriage is like, sure, I'll have a humdrum existence with you where we go to the store. Exactly. So it's a very delicate game. I'll pretend to like the same Netflix shows as you because otherwise you'll have a fit. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a delicate game because you really have to get inside the other person's head in terms of what they think of marriage and kissing. So there's more sophistication to it. But what I would not expect would be a full meltdown about chef camaraderie, which is exactly what happens next.

34:43Oh, thank you. So Daisy, I know, Daisy starts this off. And she's like, okay, well, I'm going to kill Ben. He's like, you'd kill me, really? He's like, yes, I'm going to put in like a really good way where I would go up to you and I put my hand on your shoulder. I said, you die now. And she's like, oh, okay, well, I suppose I'll take that. Oh, and I do it really painfully and slowly, too. And that's Alicia saying that. And by the way, she's got the biggest glass of wine I've ever seen. That she's chucking through this whole thing. So she's getting wasted. And Daisy would marry Mike because I feel like I could get you to do anything.

35:19I mean, look at you. Basically, I'd just have you put your head down and walk around a banister. It would be dusted in two seconds. And Mike's like, well, at least I'm not a one-night stand. and Daisy's like, and I think I'd fuck Jenna, because I think she'd give great head, because we've got each other, and Alicia's like, hmm, well, I'd shake Mike, I'd marry you, Jouel, and I'd kill you, Ben. I've had time to think about this. He's like, what, really? You know what? You know what? Toffee face, I wouldn't kill myself in spite of you. Listen here, Stevia Stubb. I wouldn't let you kill me, and I wouldn't kill myself.

36:01And they're like, what? That doesn't even make any sense. And he's like, well, I wouldn't let myself be killed just to spite you. How about that one? And they're like, it's kind of awkward. Okay. It's like, all right, well, here we go. Chef camaraderie. You wouldn't know about that, would you? Chef camaraderie. What are you talking about? This is some of that chef bullshit they do on Top Chef. You know, where they act like they're in the Vietnam War. Chef camaraderie, we all go down together. She's like, no, I don't know what that is. Well, you might learn it one day. You might just learn it one day.

36:42Daisy's like, all right, get back into your thoughts. You're being a dick now. Well, I'm not going to be chef ever, so what do I care? And he's like, oh, you're not? Well, that's weird because of your CV, it says chef. So what about that? What about that, cotton candy? Cups. Stop it. So I should just pussyfoot around your feelings? Pussyfoot, that's a good one. Wish I'd come up with that one also. No, it's an actual verb. Okay, fine, fine, fine. Marmalade nubs. Let's be funny and just say, I want to kill my department head. How do you like that? Oh, kill the department head. No, it's Shaq Berry Kill.

37:23Grow up. Oh, really, is it? Coco Cuticles. It's all fun and games to you, isn't it? And everyone's confused because he's really mad and now he's yelling. And Alicia's like, it's a fucking game. I don't want to fuck anyone. I don't want to fucking kill anyone. I mean, let's just get out of your own fucking head, why don't you? I mean, Mr. Ben, if you want me to shake your hand and say I'm sorry for the comment, I'll do that. We were playing a fucking game. Oh, really? Do I have a chance of your camaraderie? Yes or no? Yes or no? because he's putting his hand out and then, or she's putting her hand out and then he won't, I don't know, this whole thing Yeah, he won't shake, she's trying to shake his hand She's like, I just put my hand out and he's like, do you have my back for the rest of the season butter biscuits I just said yes a million fucking times, I'm shaking your hand I'm shaking, do you do you have my back for the season she's like, yes, yes, do you have my back yes, I fucking do I'll shake my hand everyone's like what is happening all right then i'm glad we cleared that up i'm glad and he's talking to daisy quietly because he's sitting next to her in the hot tub he's like i didn't think that was very funny it's like oh come on ben it's just work remember it's just work he's like and then he has this breakdown and uh he's like i'm just more sensitive because Everyone's just let me down That's why I was about to get married last year And I caught up She'd been seeing one of my friends for a very long time And I spent 50k on a wedding I didn't attend And that's why I'm more sensitive I lack faith in humanity I'm sensitive now Yeah, sad story But like, so ridiculous It's just so I'm sensitive You cannot play fuck, marry, kill with me in this state.

39:24Molasses bits. Well, it could have been shag, marry, or cheat on. So, you know, I feel like they were being pretty sensitive with you, actually. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Well, guys, this has been extremely dramatic and extremely tear-wrenching to watch. chef Ben feel things, especially after seeing how he treats women in general on this. I really can't feel bad for Ben because I want to know her side first. Before I feel bad for you, I need to hear her side. But before we go on any further, I think it's time that we commemorate something very special on Watch What Crappens. It's our third recap of the year and we have not done this yet.

40:08So it is time to bring back the fish report, the fish report. Very fun. Now, this is the fish report. These are the fish from last week. So they were very good. So I didn't want to let a week pass without commemorating the very special fish of episode two. So let's get going, shall we, Ben? Let's take a look. We got a shark going on here. Got a shark. We've got a very menacing shark here. It was a big shark episode last week. Yeah. And this is the frowny shark. See, look at that frown. Yeah. Low angle. Really can see it's dental work. I think it's time for some veneers. Let's be honest. Yeah. You've been on Bravo long enough that you should have some big old veneers, sir.

41:01There's no excuse for this. Yeah. It must be weird to go through life with your nostrils kind of looking like your eyeballs, huh? It's like, I can see you down there. Just kidding. Those are my nostrils. I do it to everyone. Yeah. But they do look like eyes on a frowny face. or if you look at it as a smiley face, they look like just like kind of moles on a chin. Yeah. You know what's funny about this shark? It kind of, when you look at it from down below, it just sort of looks like an oven mitt, you know? Like, okay, hey, hey, everyone stay back. I'll get that pan for you. Okay, I'm equipped for it.

41:37This is why this shark is a bottom because it's like, I do not want to be seen from below. Please just do not look at it. It's not my best angle. No, I do not like it in my butt, but I also don't like to be seen from below. So I just take it. She's also a bit of a diva because, look, totally found his light. Right. It's like, OK, OK, Predator, way to be stealthy. You're just in the light right now, shining on your back, alerting everyone of your presence. Good job. And also just don't give a fuck. Looking at this, I don't know how a shark ever loses weight because you're constantly just walking around with food.

42:12You know, like in my kitchen, I don't have anything out on the counters because I'll eat it. I mean, I don't even care if it's like a gerbil, I'll eat it. So to just be walking around where there's M &Ms floating all over the place and flying right at you, how can you stop? And like also, why don't you snack on them? Like, why do you like come after us humans when we're just trying to frolic when you have snacks all around? OK, just like if you graze on your little fish that you're around all day long, you probably would be content. Well, it also kind of makes sense if you look at it that way, because we're putting our hand on their plate.

42:45and if we're in a restaurant and you get your fucking hand on my french fry without me knowing you're gonna lose a hand so i kind of see where sharks are coming from actually yeah i feel like the shark is late to the party it's like guys i'm here you guys finished watching the you guys finished watching love island oh i i didn't realize i'd be this late okay okay well all right so that's a little sharky and then we move on to this gorgeous thing oh my gosh this thing is dressed up and ready to go is that a fossil or what is it a it looks like it what is that it looks is it coral is it a is it a giant scallop shell it might be you know those giant scallop shells that like open up and close you know like those you know i'm talking about the giant clams i think it might be a giant clam you know i'll look up a giant clam i don't know what it is but i think it's kind of like a glory hole of the sea because look at this i think it's a glory hole yeah i mean the thing is you don't see a seam and i don't know if the giant clams are necessarily red let's see giant clam clams look like that oh i think it's a giant clam wow look up giant clams they're they're like enormous giant clams are like enormous and they have that zigzag thing it's just yeah it must be like but it's weird that it has that hole the glory hole as you mentioned yeah i'll look up i'll look up clams and you look up glory holes and then let's see who's right let's just wait and see if a penis pops through here yeah very sexually coded language here it is so now we go to whatever fish this is this is a crazy fish and i like that it's like i don't have to do anything because i look like the wall so this this fish was like i like knows that clownfish are like the chic ones so this one's like i went to the doctor and i had a procedure done to look like a clownfish but didn't quite work out it's like guys i'm a clownfish I'm so chic right I'm like a clown fish It is trying to get the plastic surgery to look like a celebrity And it just never works out Like that guy who paid millions of dollars to look like Justin Bieber And he looks like Barney Rubble Like what?

44:45Where'd the money go? Look at its sad eye You just know Fran the fish over here So I got the clown fish done It wasn't very invasive And it took me three days to recover And now here I am Where are the photographers? It's Nemo It's me Nemo He's standing outside of Craig's Come on anybody take my picture This fish is going Straight to Hollywood Boulevard Of the sea to have tourists take pictures With it Guys look let's get a picture with Nemo That's a stupid one Oh okay Then we go to a beautiful coral I mean this is just a stunning coral And then we go to Mike's hair No it's not Mike's hair that's Eddie Oh here's what we're looking at Now look at this jellyfish.

45:32Oh my gosh. It actually does look like Mike's hair, actually, if you look at it. It does. It looks like a chef's toque, but like a fabulous fuchsia version. This is gorgeous. I'm a chef's hat, and I took a little bit of the chef's hair with me. This is wearing like fringe, because I feel like jellyfish usually are like kind of a glob of a thing, and this one has like tassels. Yeah, it's very much like a jellyfish ballroom dancer. It actually looks like Amanda Francis is dressed from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where she's talking about her Malibu Barbie manifestation. Yeah. Just put Amanda Francis's head right here.

46:12Beautiful colors. It was beautiful. Okay, let's go up the turtle. Lots of turtles, guys. This turtle does not give a fuck. He's like, I'm falling. I don't care. I don't care. Yeah, this turtle is, I hope it's wearing deodorant. That's all I got to say. You know when that baby From that album cover It was like a naked baby in the pool Yeah and then it grew up and sued the band Because it was like I was just a baby I didn't consent The turtle was like I'll do it This is that This is a recreation She's like fucking baby's complaining I'll do it The turtle's like We went on to

46:55And on Okay, stop it, turtle. So now we see. Oh, now this thing is. Look at that. Hold on. Let me go back a little bit. This thing is a disease. I mean, this looks like this looks like a disease, whatever this is. But look at all these little shrimp on top of it. They're like, yeah, right in the disease. They're like, fuck yeah. Those shrimp. Those shrimp. Those are like shrimp. They got like. They got like a moving special at the new condo. They're like, we saw the model, we just had to buy. You can see they're all on the different balconies. You're going to have some friends over later. Maybe they'll be like, guys, come over.

47:39We have a great view of the fireworks on July 4th. You just have to come over. This is when you're getting itchy and you go get an STD test and they put it under the microscope. They're like, this is why you should be careful who you're sleeping with. This is what's happening. Maybe this like structure Is just at a concert and like a Really like powerful song is playing They've all taken out their cell phones or just swaying with it They're showing the lights Like yes Beyonce we love you Beyonce singing Halo And they're all like yes I can see your Halo Halo The shrimp are like let me get on top I can't see Okay and now we go to my favorite I think fish is this guy right here who you know has the bathroom key this is a fish that you're like can i get the bathroom key and you just went yeah i don't know if that's a grouper it might be a grouper but whatever it is like there's that certain style of fish that's just so classically big old fish the big old fish lips that underbite the face that's just like you know what I once looked beautiful.

48:52I was pretty once, kids. I took Human Forshikati to the prom once. That's right. I asked him. I was ahead of my time. I was a feminist. And I like that it just kind of side-eyes the camera, too. It's like, what? You got a fucking problem with me? Look how his eyes are moving at the camera. It's like, yeah, whatever. You cannot pee. You will never pee. Yeah, it's got some of the stripes of a moray eel. That's for sure. Oh Now we get these little cute Hamburglar fish I love these They're just like oh oh found a wheelbarrow At the bottom of the ocean maybe there's A hamburger near it maybe there's a hamburger Near it Kelly it's an anchor how many times have to tell you I'm sick of it I'm sick of you just spreading Lines about wagons our adventures Are not that exciting it's just an anchor Oh so I can't put a bunch of hamburgers on here And wheel it out we'll see about That well you could try But you're not going to get very far because it's an anchor.

49:47You're an anchor. Well, you know what you are? You're a nuisance. And we never even invited you to be part of this group. It was just Shelby did and Shelby left the group. And now we're stuck with you and we're not happy about it. Just walk away. Just walk away. I'm going. Jeez. Okay. Now we go to. Oh, this thing's beautiful. It looks like a leaf that got dropped and just kept growing. It's so pretty. I mean, the interior design in this ocean is great. I think that's why I'm pointing this one out. This is a great touch here. So this is why you guys, this is why the pullout method doesn't work.

50:27Look at this. Look how many of these things there are. I would like to point out that beautiful, if you go forward a little bit to the school of fish, look at that. They're all, first of all, this is, all the fish are going one way. They're like, okay, got to get to work. And then this one is like, I work from home. That's why I'm dressed down. I'm in my purple sweatpants.

50:48I don't care what they say. I'm not going into that damn office. I'll zoom. I'll zoom the whole thing. Go in the opposite direction. They're like, you can't zoom. Last time you zoomed, you were jerking off on the thing. We caught you. He's like, oh, damn it. It's that. What was that guy's name? That news guy? Jerking off. Oh, Jeffrey Toobin? Yeah. It's like the Jeffrey Toobin fish. Like, no more. You've ended work from home for everybody You're coming too Not literally Tube and fish A lot of fuchsia elements In the fish report today Yeah Then we go to Some kind of coral reef thing Made out of churros Which look delicious And then we go to These little yellow fish I like that They're like shade They're like, we can't go in the sun.

51:41They're like, we can't go in the sun. Yeah, they're having a social. Yeah, then some more little fish just swimming around. This one's really pretty. I just loved the look of this one. I feel like I got startled. It's like, ah, just going to settle in for a nap right now. And oh, geez, my watch is still on. Those vibrations get me every time. Why are you telling me to stand? I'm in bed. I'm in bed. Just going to settle in. I'm going to get a little, just like a 10 minute cat nap. Oh God, Amber Alert. Oh my God. How do you turn these things off? I don't know who the person is in the Greg Silver Toyota.

52:18Then we go, now this fish is fucked up. Oh, this one. What is this fish? This fish is going to kick our ass. This fish is like, you want a piece of me? You want to, but what are you looking at? What are you looking at? You want a piece of me? You new to the neighborhood? You new to the neighborhood? Do not knock on my door for sugar. You ain't going to get it. Elise is not happy. She's like, excuse you. I want you to move your car. This spot is reserved. Hey, remember I'm, I'm your neighbor. I said you couldn't borrow any sugar. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bug you, but do you have any foundation I could wear?

52:50I've got a bad breakout. Really bad. You see this ball? I keep it now. I keep it. I'm sick of having to retrieve it from my yard. This is the neighbor that's giving you judgmental looks. It's just like, Ooh, every time you leave their house, they're like, Ooh, where's it going now? I didn't even notice that there's a whole group of fish to the right. They're like, oh my God, look at Elise. She's mad again. Elise just told us our trash cans are too close to the curb again. Now that I see that there's all these little fish over there, Elise is sort of giving judgy crossy guard vibes. Like, stop.

53:26We have children crossing the street. Stop. I want to run them over too. But you know what? This is society and that's not what we do. Stop your car. Slow down. in these children's lives. There are children at play. Okay, slow down. You'll get to where you're going. Just slow down. Okay, so then I think that's the same fish on the side. Look how much cuter she is from the side. You're like, oh my God, look at my hot neighbor passing. Yeah, it's me. Oh, geez. Her butt is also her ponytail. I love it. Oh God, I love something on the oven. Now we have this little turtle. I just like seeing that turtles are also self-conscious about their weight.

54:08Because look at this turtle eating. It's like, I'll have one blade of grass and I'll be happy with that. All I need. You do all that diving just to get a blade of grass? Come on now. My fitness pal is already full for the day. I've literally had one blade of grass. I also feel like I've seen so many nature documentaries that are about the perilous developmental stages of little baby sea turtles. and how the eggs are hatched and they have to cross roads and across the beach and then birds come and try to eat them and it's like a miracle that they even get into the ocean. I'm like, you do all that for this?

54:42Just to have a piece of grass? You could have stayed on land for that. This is what I got. I'm a fucking lawnmower. I won. Oh, there's the grouper. This is the much sexier version. The orange version. Yeah, this fish is just like, stop looking at me. Get out of here. Look at it. It's like, I said, stop looking at me. Stop fucking looking at me, I said. That's rude. Come right up to the camera. Get the fuck out of here. Beautiful eyeball. All right, then we get another school. Then we get another little shark. This one's, you know, just like a bottom feeding shark. A little more generic. Yeah. It's actually kind of cuddly.

55:20Yeah. Is that the same? This isn't the same shark. This is different. I don't know. It's a cute shark. The other one is, that other fish is like, oh shit, oh shit, there's a shark next to me. Oh shit. Let's see. Push it. I'm going to get away. I'm going to go. Why is there light down here anyway? By the way, I was supposed to be cloaked to darkness. So can you turn that thing off? Thank you. This little shark's just too young to know why everybody hates him. It's like, I just want to play, Mom. Why can't I have friends? Why? And now snakes in the ocean. There's a lot of snakes in the ocean. That's scary.

55:54A snake bit someone on Survivor last season. It was wild. Wow. I don't want to concentrate on the snakes because they scare me. I like these just basic redfish. They're making no effort. They're like, I don't care. I'm going walking in the neighborhood. I'm just, this is how I look. That's it. Not one of these people who's got to go out in a cute little ponytail and a full face and makeup, okay? It's just fucking exercise. The one in the center, like, just went through some shit. It's like, you don't know what I've seen. Why the long face, buddy? I know. It's like so sad. Like, okay, is everyone ready for Mardi Gras?

56:35Not me. Every day is Fat Tuesday in this house. I think I just need to go home right now. Okay, well, guess what? You are home. Look at this eel coming up. This eel is terrifying. I guarantee this eel does not want to be seen from this angle. I'll tell you that much. It's like, okay, just going to go around the coral. No one's looking at my ass, right? and then we get Jason's basic goldfish who are like let us out of here we're captive why would you hold us in jail we're in the ocean please let us go I'm sorry for whatever we did I want to be with where the eel was

57:17can I have a bathroom key can I have a bathroom key can I have a bathroom key this little one down here I swear I gotta go I gotta go that one is like really ruining the mission. Like the main one is like guys we need to make a sincere plea to Captain Jason and maybe he'll release us and the little one's like I kind of like him. Want to do some tricks for him? That man refuses to do anything in leadership. I love it. Okay and then we go to this turtle special because look how this turtle loves the camera. I love a camera whore. It's like hey. Wow that turtle doing a wow catching. It's like see I wouldn't want to be.

57:56It's actually really doing in the high five. Psych! I'm going to keep on swimming. High five! No! How cute. I love him. All right. I got that. That's that for me. Yeah. All right. He's like armpit fetish? Okay. No? Okay. I'll try again. I'll go back to the glory hole. Has anyone seen Elise?

58:23And the fish report. All right. Thank you, fish. Great job. Okay, so now we come back to Ben has just finished crying and is going to bed. So everybody decides to go to bed because this was a train wreck. And then Mike goes to Daisy's cabin and he's like, Daisy, can I get a little kiss? And she's like, no. No. What do you think he's walking? She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So now it's the next morning. and Jenna is asking if Alicia is okay. And she's like, I just feel disgusted with myself that I just had a full-blown war with my head of department. I've got to go. I had this big dream to be the big chef, but Ben is a challenge and the galley is a challenge.

59:09And I also can't tell the difference between salt and pepper. My mom said I'm not cut out to be a chef and I agree. So I don't know. Alicia's little journey is so ridiculous. Yeah. Now we go to Mike and Eddie. and Eddie's like, oh, I had a chat with Alicia last night. She was flirty. Oh, no, Eddie's like, I had a chat with Alicia last night. She was flirty. And I was like, if you have a boyfriend, just break up with him. You know, I went full sprint for that one. Full sprint. Well, what are you going to do on deck, mate? What about that? And Mike is like, well, I'm a deck stew. Who knows what I got to do?

59:44And Joao's like, well, I heard only decks do. That's all I heard. And so Mike is basically like, give me more jobs, et cetera. So then Jenna wakes up and she's like, are you looking forward to working with Alicia today? I don't think it should have gone as kicked off the way it got, how it kicked off. So you should go apologize. He's like, no, well, Ben, this is Ben she's talking to. So what you're saying is that Alicia was a total disgrace, but in order to keep the peace, I should be the bigger person to butterscotch nostrils. I'm up for it. Did anyone want to kill you though? Just want to ask.

1:00:19By the way, he's sleeping in the guest cabins because he was crying. So he was crying and he's like, can I sleep in the guest cabins then? And Daisy's like, all right, you can sleep in the guest cabins tonight because I know you're really upset. So I think this is going to become something that he does every night now because he's cried and he's wormed his way into the guest cabin. So she's sitting on his bed in there and she's like, well, I'm a delight. No one would kill me. And he goes, you were all kind of nice, aren't you? And she tells us, I've never met a person like Ben. And, you know, he's like, I don't know how you say, like, maybe cuckoo.

1:00:51But I feel like people don't understand him. And he's a good person. You just have to filter through all the layers. No. No, you don't. We've all been this girl. No. Don't marry a mess because you can just clean it up. It's not a soda that's spilled on a movie theater floor. Okay. Listen, Fudgy Knuckles. They call me Seesaw Benny. I won't go to a park without a seesaw. I think they call you Seesaw Betty not because you're an essential part of the park, but because you're very up and down. Yeah, that's what he's saying. He's like, I'm Seesaw Betty. I won't even go to a park without a Seesaw. Oh.

1:01:31And she goes, you still go to parks? I totally misread that. I thought he was saying that they were like, never mind. It's not even worth it. Let's go back to the fish report, shall we? Right. Let's just stay on the fish report forever. So then we go to cleaning. Everybody's cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Jason's in the galley with Alicia again. He's like, how are you? She's like, well, I was thinking, you know, I was thinking like with the stewardess down, maybe I could switch over. And he's like, well, I've already called a new stewardess two days ago. So you're going to have to. And she's like, no, but I'm telling you right now, it won't work for a whole season.

1:02:08So either we need to find a new suit and I step down or I become a stewardess and stay on the boat. Okay, bye. Yeah, bye. That's what I would say. Bye. Bye. I think Ben is perfectly fine without a sous chef for the moment. He could probably go a charter without a sous because he basically did that as it is. So Jason's like, well, I was hoping she would come through and be willing to learn, but she's running and at some point she's going to have to learn to stay. Yeah, maybe, but this won't be the area where she's going to learn it. So Jason's like, well, I need a galley hand, someone to help Ben.

1:02:41Let's find the best solution for all of us, okay? So then Daisy is gathering the people around and Mike is like, so did I try to kiss you before I went to bed last night? She's like, yeah, Dad. Don't screw the crew. And I'm your boss. Don't screw your boss either. It's like, that would be awkward if I screwed the boss. I'll have to wait till I have to do the work then. She's like, don't even laugh about that. I've been down this path before. It's not good. Yeah, I don't hook up with people in my department. It's just not smart. And I certainly not hook up with somebody who loves their hair. more of them that love me.

1:03:16You need to go. So now we're in the mess now with Jason and Daisy and Daisy is saying that like Alicia and Ben went for each other really badly last night. She's like, I went from zero to 100. Well, I want her to stay, but I've worked with her before and I know her off the boat as well. I met her sister in Sydney too, gave her a kimono. Well, I personally don't think that they can do the season together. This is going to keep her gone and taken away from their service and then hinder the guest food and she fits in great with the crew and I'm happy for her to join my team if you want. He's like, well, I've already got a stewardess coming in.

1:03:50She's already flying so maybe I'll just ring her up and see if she likes cooking. I'm disappointed in Alicia she kept toughening up for a while but you know what? Who cares? Food's not important. Food rules aren't important. Training's not important. Let's just get it made in there. Are there no standards? I mean, are there no classes that you have to go to to cook on a yacht? Yeah. So Jason calls the stew and her name is written in his phone as stew, which I thought was funny. And he's like, all right, well, I've got a problem here. My Sue is leaving and I need someone in the galley so I can move her into the new position and move you into the galley if you're comfortable with that.

1:04:29What I'm trying to say is I know you are coming on as a second stew, but I'd like to devote you to a Sue chef in a department that you have no interest in whatsoever. How do you feel about that? Is that something that you would do?

1:04:43Yeah, I was surprised that I didn't recognize her voice because I loved the season with her and Brie fighting. I thought that was so funny. And we did her voice enough that I thought, wow, I would recognize that. But she's not talking in her regular voice. She's talking in her pleasing other people fake voice that she uses right up front. And she's like, golly, I don't have much experience in the golly. That is an ellipsis. So she was using her fakie voice. So I didn't hear it. I was like, who is this going to be? So then Joao is talking to Batool and he's like, so did you have a good sleep? And she goes, I had crazy dreams about cats again.

1:05:23Yes. I like that. That's Batool's runner, that she's always having crazy dreams about cats. The musical specifically. She's like, I had dream of tire. I was lifted up from the yacht on tire and sent off to the stage, to the ceiling. I don't understand. Mike drops a glass. Then he drops another glass. He's a mess. And now it's preference sheet meeting. Charter two. But meanwhile, Eddie passes Alicia in the galley. And he's like, do we still have chill, sexy vibes after last night? Want to see that golf move again? Swing. She's like, chill and sexy vibes forever. I appreciate you. so um they've been trying to blow deck has been trying to make the preference sheet meeting some sort of sassy exciting thing they've they've changed it up they've used to be just the heads of department then it became like each department would have a meeting and now they've changed it up again we're back to heads of department but we've got a whole brand new crazy thing which is jason introduces the primaries christian and his wife annette who are real estate investors and former ballroom dancers.

1:06:33And they have elite polo friends and are no strangers to luxury. And then out of nowhere, we suddenly head to Greenwich, Connecticut to go into the world of Annette and Christian. And it's like, wow, we're getting like backstory on the guests. I actually kind of liked it. I'm not going to lie. I felt weird. Like part of me, I'm a traditionalist. I do enjoy just seeing the pieces of paper with their pictures and making judgments based off the pictures. but um i don't know i mean i thought like if they're ever gonna do this why not start with this lady who decided to powder her face like it was 1873 in greenwich connecticut why does she look like she has consumption in a whorehouse in all of her twist like what is happening what is going on she looks crazy you're right she's all pale and then she has like rouge on her cheeks and she's got some weird white ball gown type thing and a necklace but she's packing a picnic And so we find out she's packing a picnic for polo.

1:07:31And she loves luxury. So she's packing caviar and bagels. That's right, you guys. And then her husband's, you know, like really overplaying the whole thing. And she's like, I've got caviar, creme fraiche, white champagne and rosé. Just pack it, honey. Pack it. And they've got these really gigantic fluffy cats. Yeah. And Annette tells us, our last super yacht experience was in Greece last year. I left my favorite down pillow in the hotel. and the owner dropped us off then returned to Athens to get my pillow. Can you believe it? Lady, you're rich. Just get a new down pillow. Get a new favorite down pillow.

1:08:05Don't you have like your receipt from Amazon? Can't you just hit order again? I mean, what's going on here? No, because she's rich. That wasn't Amazon. That was some like fancy pillow she got from some special store from somewhere. You know, new money. She's like, I searched forever for this one pillow. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah, she seems annoying as fuck. And so does her husband. them yay yes so uh they are celebrating their their friends on this 50th birthday so um they christian says that they are getting married on 11 they got married on 11 11 11 so they wouldn't forget which sounds great until you can't remember if you got married on 10 10 10 or 12 12 12 and i'm saying this because i went to someone's wedding that was on i think 10 10 10 but i literally cannot remember if it was 10-10-10 or 11-11-11, 12-12-12.

1:08:54Although wasn't it Cynthia Bailey who got married on 10-10-10? I think so. But that seems like so long ago, right? 2020. No, she was 2020. The point is you're not immune from confusion when you have all the same numbers. So then Jason is like, all right, now let's talk about the elephant in the room. That lady looks dead, am I right? All right, let's also talk about staffing. So we've got some personality problems in the galley. And listen, if Alicia is not 100 % committed, it'll tarnish your input and her sister will be mad at me. And that is the danger in getting to know somebody's sister off the boat.

1:09:32Now, she wants the stewardess and the crew. She wants to move to stewardess. And the new girl said that she'll love to learn. So she'll come to the galley. Ben's like, would it be better if we gave Puddin' Pout one more chance, one more charter in the kitchen? And Daisy's like, no, because I've got to train two new stews and I can't be training a new stew every week. That's right. The move might not work either. Yeah. Well, we'll see who the problem was also. Joking. Not really. Which, Daisy loves this. Be like, we're going to prove to Ben that he's the piece of shit here. So Jason's like, okay, I want to correct any issues there.

1:10:11So if you can tone it down, Ben, that would be great. He's like, wait a second. I'm looking at this picture. I know this girl. I know Buttershins Ben's like wait a second He's like mom's the bird right Because I wrote to her two weeks ago on Instagram Because I really liked her page And we see Pictures of this dude's body But we don't see her head And it's just like all abs And arms and limbs and boobs And like hotness And we can only imagine What sort of messages Ben sent her Well here's the thing I know this girl. I liked her Instagram page a couple of weeks ago. Came upon it. Love the things that she has in there.

1:10:54Scantily clad. And then we see the pictures. And it's like someone in a thong doing like a backbend. And it's like their hard abs. I cannot believe I didn't guess who this was. I really did not guess it. I mean, all the signs were there. And then there's another one where it's like, oh, God, love the content. And you see her. It looks like she's doing a down dog but off like a bench. and so her knees are up on the bench and her ass is facing up in the air in a thong and he's like oh yeah I love it I've got to be really well behaved in there so then Jason is talking to Alicia and he's like alright you've given me the ultimatum that you want to be still a leave and I understand that environment wasn't good for you but I think you could have gone a little bit further to try and see if it could have worked but now because we're friends I don't want to see you go and you've put me in a position to put the news to you in the galley so she was disjointed but she was willing to do it where you weren't so you're lucky because i want to see that energy back he's like you're lucky because you almost had to quit but you didn't have to quit so you're lucky um because he wasn't gonna fire her he's acting like he was like you're lucky because i almost fired you but it's like no you weren't gonna fire her you're actually playing totally by alicia's rules right now yeah this is not a good move and alicia is like oh my god does anyone have any idea what i should do as a career because i'm 26 now and I hope that the stewardess path will be more suited to me.

1:12:18But who knows? From caterpillar to butterfly. And she takes off her chef's jacket. I've never seen anybody this excited to clean a toilet. She is thrilled. Yeah. I feel like across the board, what we've seen are people transitioning out of the interior to the deck. Very few people are like, yes, I get to go inside and unclog poop showers. so Joao and Daisy are talking and he's like well I wonder how this is going to work out for Ben he messaged her and tried to make her plans make plans with her so Daisy's like did he try to hook up with her I don't know we'll have to see so then Jenna's listening to this like she's like starting to stew because she's decided that she likes old guys now so she's like that was my old man I was working on him and Jenna tells us oh they were texting on Instagram, very Gen Z of them.

1:13:13And then an arrow points to her. It's like, ding, Gen Z. Yeah. So Alicia hugs Ben sort of goodbye. She's acting like she's leaving the boat. She's like, and he's like, well, I wanted you to be happy. I'll miss you. I want you to be happy, biscuit calves. And he says, for her to quit, it's a fail. I failed. It's hard for me to describe how to feel about a new assistant. I don't want someone to quit again. Just kidding. I really don't care. I just want someone to hand me some chopped onions. That's it. Meanwhile, he's walking around with a glass of wine in the galley. Ben just does whatever the fuck he wants.

1:13:45And she's got him like right on the start of a buzz, which is good because he's really nice right now. He's like, yeah, you know, don't hug me. I'm the chef. I shouldn't cry. Please do not hug me, licorice larynx. All right. I've had enough. Just get out of here. So then he's in the galley with Jenna and Mike. And they're like, oh, my God, the new stewardess is coming. And he's like, oh, yeah, check her out. I know her. Look at her picture. And Mike's like, oh, my God, she can speak seven languages. Yeah, she's tall, thin, and pretty, too. God, who cares if she puts sugar in the cheesecake? Love her.

1:14:20The moment that they mentioned that this person could speak seven languages, we also should have known it was Ellie because Ellie would be the type to say that she speaks seven languages when she's, like, learned a few phrases here. No, I speak all the languages. I do that. I do that. I'm very good at it. um i just like did not believe that so uh ben is working out with those bands uh against a railing and then uh because he's getting excited for the hot stew to come on board and like like oh his his new body will happen overnight and uh that daisy has like a uh a meeting and she welcomes leisha and everything and people are cleaning and jenna's showing leisha like you know here's the bar, here are the towels, here's the champagne, this is how you do it.

1:15:03Yeah, and she says it's going to be a pain having now two stews, you know, to train, but I don't know Lizzie's skill set yet, but I'd rather the devil you know than the devil you don't. And then dun-dun-dun, a car comes, you see it coming, and the guys are all getting boners, and Mike's like, oh my god, she's coming, but, you know, Ben's met her before, so he has the upper hand there, fresh meat, fresh meat! And then... And I was like... Go ahead. I was like, oh, no, they're not going to let us see her face. They're not going to let her see. We'll have to wait until next week. So I was like already getting very sad.

1:15:37Very, very sad. But then the car door opens and we just see a big shot of pink come out. And then she literally just gets out of the car and stares right at the sun. It's like, that's Ellie. Who does that? This is me at home. This is me at home.

1:15:54Oh, my God. Me too. I really did. I started cheering. I was cracking up. And she's like, oh, I'm so happy to be on Katina. Last chart this season was extremely dramatic for me. And then we cut to a montage of her fighting with Bree and Bree being like, oh, well, I don't know if you know how to do the ironing and you shouldn't tell me how to. Oh, really? Because my job description is second stool and that means I'm your boss. It was the most amazing montage. Ellie was such a terror to Bree. she's like you'll do what i say that's it so she's like oh i took a lot of time to reflect and a lot of it was me being too emotional which i need to be more mindful of and she smiles like get ready bitches she's just she's cracking me up because she's doing this really high voice and she's going and she's like oh hello you're daisy oh daisy oh my gosh i'm nice to meet you oh hello you're oh it's so nice to meet you she's acting like this and she's in pink her legally blonde pink and everyone's like oh my god what a lovely gorgeous person you know and jen's just staring at her and she catches jen and she's like oh hello jenna you're jenna oh hello i'm lovely to meet you and she's just like yeah yeah jenna jenna is just like so angry and uh daisy gives her a tour and everything and she's like ah this hair is bad oh ben hi i'm so glad you came here oh i'm so glad to be doing everything i can do love you as much as possible yes i love the energy oh this is great i'm so excited oh yes very excited to cook for you it'll be so wonderful i I was like, oh, God, this will be an utter nightmare.

1:17:42It's going to be amazing. And unlike Alicia, she's not going to quit. She is like, she's going to be like, this is my kitchen. And then we see this season on Below Deck. And it's her who does it. She goes, in this season on Below Deck. I was like, that's weird that they gave that to Ellie. And then it's just pure terror. Yeah. She's like, you don't get to call me honey buns. No, you don't get to say that. No, this is my kitchen. Okay. I hold the carrot. You watch how you talk to me. Like, yes. So, wow. What a nice way to end the episode and really get this season started. Oh, my God. I literally cannot even imagine how this is going to go.

1:18:21The kitchen has been just so massively entertaining. I think adding a sous chef has been like one of the best, you know, tweaks to the formula that they've done in recent years. Truly. And I hope they start to do this with the other franchises because it like works. It's like it's organic to the show, too, as opposed to, you know, some of the other things that they've been trying out. So more sous chefs. Thank you. Yeah, great times, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. Don't forget to grab tickets for the Golden Crappies at WatchWhatCrappens.com for February 27th. And we'll talk to you next time.

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