#3231 Below Deck Down Under S04E04: Slow Food Movement (Part 1)

0:00Ben Mandelker: What happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hello. How are you? I'm doing great. You having a nice day so far?

0:37Ronnie Karam: Yes, having the most fun day. We just went and did the Smith Sisters radio show on SiriusXM Radio Andy. It comes out tomorrow, so check that out. Really fun talking to those ladies. I really like them. Yeah, they were great. We found new besties.

0:51Ben Mandelker: New besties. We're going to hang out with them all the time. this is of course a big big week for us because on fridays the golden crappies it's finally here it's arriving uh we can't wait to see all of your faces there in the crowd come join us go to watchacrappins.com to get tickets either live or virtual and don't forget that that virtual is going to be up the the stream the live stream is gonna be up for like two weeks so that's really good for if you're on the east coast because our show starts at eight o 'clock out here and And, you know, 11 o 'clock may be late for some of you. But also, it could be a really fun late-night party on the East Coast with the crappies.

1:29Ben Mandelker: That's at watchacrappens.com. Or it's in the link in our bio for Twitter or for Instagram, et cetera. Looking forward to that. We have basically a day and change left to vote. Voting closes at the end of Wednesday. So go vote. Have your voice heard. Make sure that you vote for your favorites, all those good things. And then also Thursday night's very exciting because it's the traders finale. And so we will be doing a very special traders finale bonus episode on Friday. So our bonus episodes are on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what crap ends, get access to bonus episodes, get access to video free newsletter, all those good things.

2:11Ben Mandelker: There's also a Patreon pre-party happening with the crappies that's happening on the roof of the theater on Friday. That's going to be quite excellent. So those are all the good and exciting things. Get ad free, all those fun stuff. So with all that out of the way, let's move on to Below Deck Down Under for a very, very stressful episode of Ineptitude, of people being very slow at doing the simplest things ever. Great episode.

2:40Ronnie Karam: Loved it. I was laughing my ass off. I've got a plant behind me, and I guess I moved it because it looks like I have a lot of ear hair coming out of my hand. It looks like you got one of those flowers. Pluck me, pluck me, pluck me.

2:52Ben Mandelker: Looks like you got one of those flowers that someone attaches to their ear, you know, like you're out of the way. I do.

2:56Ronnie Karam: Like I should have a drink with an umbrella in it. Yeah. Doing a little dance on the stage. Okay, so below deck, here we are. Down under, it is season on, episode four. Who knows what it's called? Who cares, really? God, the guests on this one. Jeez. Wow. I mean, how can you have, how can you open with real housewives being as obnoxious as human beings can possibly be on a boat? Yet somehow this lady makes me crazier. Yeah. Than them. You don't know how to eat a piece of bacon? She's worse. She's worse. And she dresses like a dead person, which, you know, I mean, is that a thing now where people are like, just we're going, we're going on a tropical vacation.

3:35Ronnie Karam: I want to look like a corpse. Just do my makeup as white as possible.

3:38Ben Mandelker: it looked sort of like she was auditioning to be an Amadeus or something that like powdered white makeup I was like what is happening here I didn't understand it and like the bacon thing really pissed me off the bacon thing where she holds up she has a piece of bacon on her fork and she's like I just don't even really know how to eat this use your knife if you're not going to use your fingers use your knife cut it like you would any other piece of food have you never encountered bacon before come on now

4:07Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I was waiting for her to be like, well, the captain on the last boat we were on came and fed me this bacon. I mean, she's just one of those people who has to find a problem with everything. That's how she looks, you know, like she's better than everybody. And it's like, you're not, though. You're not. You can't even do your makeup. Yeah.

4:23Ben Mandelker: Well, maybe it's because she didn't have a place to sit and do her makeup because she's like, there's no makeup desk for me here.

4:28Ronnie Karam: No, because she was like that at home, too. Remember when we saw this is the first people that we saw at their own homes with their, you know, stupid cats and their stupid animals. Even their animals are stupid. Their animals are like. They got the snottiest animals they could possibly get as well. But here we go. It's day one of the Chata, 9 a.m. Four hours until they get here. And Ellie has just met Ben in the galley. Ellie is still in some weird sparkle pink dress like she's going to some kind of weird cocktail party for like girl power or something, like a hen party or something. And she's still doing her high voice where she's like, oh, hello, it's me, nice Ellie.

5:08Annette: It's just me, nice Ellie. It's no problem with anybody. Hello, hello. And, you know, at the airport, Captain Jason asked me if I would like to work in the galley.

5:17Ronnie Karam: At first I thought, no way. Like, I don't know how to contribute to the galley at all. But I realize this is the way up in my alley. There's nothing I love more than finding a challenge. And then conquering the challenge. I conquer challenge. It's like, yes, Sally.

5:32Ben Mandelker: I can't wait to watch you conquer this one. Yeah, she's really diving into it. So then we see Mike and Eddie and Joao scrubbing. And Mike is like, the Nose do speak seven different languages. And Joao's like, well, she's very clever, Mike. She's out of your league. We call her a real Zimten. And Mike's like, but I'm going to have to give it a blast. I'm going to have to give it a try. So then Daisy meets Ellie and brings her to Captain Jason. And Jason's like, sorry about the change of roles, but we knew you were desperate to be on TV again. And we thought, why not throw her in the kitchen?

6:01Annette: Yes, it is all right. I'm happy to adapt. I'm happy to learn and to go. That's me. Happy Ellie. This is how I will be all season long. Happy, happy Ellie.

6:10Ronnie Karam: Well, there's been a strong, you know, you've got a, Ben's a strong character in there and you've probably worked in these environments. Huh? You know, in these environments, I mean, kitchens, right?

6:19Annette: Nope, never been in a kitchen.

6:21Ronnie Karam: Well, surely you've got a kitchen at home.

6:22Annette: Nope, no kitchen at home. Normally I ate Pop-Tart.

6:26Ronnie Karam: All right, well, you've seen a kitchen. No idea. What do they do in kitchen?

6:29Annette: I'm ready. I'm ready, whatever it is.

6:32Ronnie Karam: All right. I love a challenge.

6:36Ronnie Karam: Oh, so she has to go in there and meet Ben. And Jason warns her. He's like, this man is terrifying. Good luck. And she's like, oh, I'm able to brush off. And I really want this to be a strong team.

6:47Annette: So don't worry about me. I'm barely coming to duty.

6:49Ronnie Karam: So she goes in to meet Ben. Oh, no, well, first Ben is talking to Daisy, and he's like, well, I don't even know what a title is. I'm so confused right now. I don't want to say sous chef. I was thinking just holly buns. Is that a title?

7:03Ben Mandelker: I was thinking of calling her monkey lumps, but I don't know if she'd like that very much. So Ben is like, maybe I'll call her chef's assistant. I like that quite a bit. He's starting again with someone who apparently has no kitchen experience. It's like starting again after you've paid$50 ,000 for a wedding you never got to attend. It's actually pretty daunting. And I'm sensitive now because I'm always one second away from the looming future outbursts. I need to finish this one. I need to make sure that she caters to my sensitivities.

7:38Ronnie Karam: Did you see Ben's ex-fiancé came out on TikTok or something with her expose? What did she say? She was like, hi, you guys. Like, I'm a nobody. Nobody knows who I am. But I just had to come on here and defend myself because Ben's lying about me. I never cheated with his friends. He doesn't even have friends. I don't even know him. I didn't even know his name was Ben. Basically just kind of denying everything that he said. And then Kate Chastain put out some tweets that were like, oh, yeah, well, I've got the receipts, honey. Or as Kate would say it, I've got the receipts. so I'm already bored I'm bored by your video yeah so who knows but I don't know if she's telling the truth or not but team ex-fiancé I'll say that yeah probably I'm just

8:26Ben Mandelker: going to assume ex-fiancé is correct yeah

8:33Ronnie Karam: I'm just going to go with that so Ben's like oh yeah she's got no kitchen experience but let's see where we go so Alicia is cleaning the bar and Mike's nearby so they're talking and she's like, I don't know anything about this bar. I mean, if I leaned on it a bit, is that okay? And he's like, 100 % thing is I'm supposed to be a Dexter, but I've been on the interior longer and I enjoy doing the bar work. I mean, the bar work is probably one of my favourite places. You're going to love the bar work. You get to talk to people. Lots of birds come to the bar. Lots of birds at the bar, girl. You know, last charter, we were a man down.

9:05Ronnie Karam: So with Alicia joining the interior team, I'm really, really hoping that that'll relieve some of the pressure. In me nuts. That would be nice. in me not to get it. I want to spend a little more time on deck, though. I'm supposed to be catching rays of the sun, interacting with the guests, you know, bro-ing with the bros as bros do.

9:24Ben Mandelker: Yeah, he's really, he's hankering to get out onto the deck. And so we see flashbacks of the housewives being like, you're so funny. You're really funny, Mike. Mike, you're the best. Oh, you are quite funny. So Mike is like, Alicia, there's a few toilets down there with your name on it. That's my joke because I want to go outside.

9:44Ronnie Karam: It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

9:50Ben Mandelker: So then he's like, Alicia, do you want to be like Batman and Robin with me? And she's like, I don't understand what that is. Are they at Whistler? So then we cut to Ellie and Ben in the galley.

10:01Annette: And Ellie's like, okay, Chevy, I'm reporting for duty. Very happy to do this. Okay, what is this telephone?

10:07Ben Mandelker: That is the biggest knife you've ever seen in your life. Don't hold it up to your face. By the way, did you see that cleaver? That cleaver. Did you just see it? It was the size of a guillotine. The cleaver was humongous.

10:18Ronnie Karam: And it looked like she was cutting like a quesadilla. And it was as big as a guillotine. It was gigantic.

10:25Annette: She's like, oh, it's just me cutting little quesadilla with biggest knife in the world. That's what I do.

10:30Ben Mandelker: I know. She was just really attacking it. So Ben's like, all right, well, I don't like the term galley hand. so I was thinking I would call you Snuggle Chunks or maybe Caramel Blobs.

10:44Ronnie Karam: I've got a name tag being made up for your room. It's going to say Sugar Tits. Does that work for you? That's all right. How about Treacle Buns? Treacle Buns. It's coming up with something, maybe Monk Fruit Mandibles. Maybe that'll work.

11:01Ben Mandelker: Potato joints. How about that? um okay no chef assistant is cool he's like okay because i don't want to call you sous chef because that's where we went wrong last time with dum-dum over there see you look at her look at her oh yes

11:15Annette: yes hello hello alicia so ellie says that term that would be very loose on me if i was sous chef i don't know what was going on here but i am very sensitive person you know i'm not a very sensitive person i'm from balkan so i'm not used so i'm very used to tough love i've never been coddled i don't even know what that's about.

11:32Ben Mandelker: Yes, Ellie, famously not sensitive at all. Definitely took it on the chin with her thick skin when Joe Bradley last season made out with Bree instead. Ellie was totally chill with it.

11:44Annette: I've never been cuddled.

11:46Ronnie Karam: Cuddled? You've never been cuddled? Well, we could change that, right?

11:49Annette: Cuddled. I said cuddled.

11:51Ronnie Karam: But were you cuddled?

11:52Annette: Oh, you.

11:54Ronnie Karam: Isn't it amazing how Ben's energy is so different with somebody when he wants to stick his penis in them? 100%. he's ridiculous so uh she's looking a little awkward at him like kind of getting an idea of

12:08Annette: what she's going to be dealing with here and she tells us oh ben slid into my dms one time he said

12:13Ronnie Karam: he was a big fan of my picture so that was good you know it's been really awkward if i ended up working for him after we had hooked up in any way so i'm glad that did not happen he's like all right Well, your duties are basically to keep things clean, organized, and look adorable. Right? That's all you have to do.

12:33Annette: Well, eventually I was thinking I could help with cool food.

12:36Ben Mandelker: And he's like, oh, that's what you're going to do today with honey buns. So she's like, oh. So Joao walks in like, hello, messenger from Zim here. How are you? And Ben's like, well, if you see a big sweaty monster in the fridge, that's Joao. He's the first mate, but he's actually a captain in his own right, Joao. I was like. No. Why did this feel like it was some, like, musical at, like, high school musical? Like, the captain walks in, and if you happen to see a handsome man, that's the captain. There he is right now.

13:06Ronnie Karam: His name's Jowau. He's a first mate, but he's a captain in his own right. Thanks, man.

13:13Ben Mandelker: Thanks, mate. I'm just here trying to do a job because we have high seas to sail, and we are going on the high seas and finding things, and we will find some treasure and some booty. But if we don't get home, that's what all right have a lady on every island.

13:28Ronnie Karam: Not only is he a first mate and a captain in his own right, he's also a good friend of mine. Thanks, mate. And then we go to Jenna and Alicia cleaning a guest room. And she's like, so you and Ben then, huh? And Jenna's like, me and Ben?

13:43Annette: I think he's cute and quick and all. I really don't know if you have me and Ben.

13:48Ben Mandelker: It was like the return of Darby. Yes, that's what I thought, too. From Darby.

13:52Ronnie Karam: When they say, when they show Daisy going, come on, Jenna, I can't understand the goddamn words you're saying. It was sort of.

14:03Annette: Darby.

14:04Ben Mandelker: Darby, you got to speak up. From Real Housewives of Cheshire, this girl Darby or Darby would not say, like you could not hear anything she would say. And it was like the funniest thing. It was just a, it was just this girl. It was just the sounds.

14:20Ronnie Karam: So yeah, they're talking.

14:21Annette: It's like, me and Ben, well, I think he's cute and quirky and all that.

14:25Ronnie Karam: Well, I think it's fun to just have, you know, a little flirt, right?

14:27Annette: It's like, and you, how are you and your boyfriend getting on?

14:31Ronnie Karam: Have you had, like, any second guesses having a boyfriend while being on the boat? And she's like, I know exactly what you mean. And yes, I have. It's very difficult.

14:41Ben Mandelker: Yes. And then Jenna is like.

14:43Annette: He says, I want to talk to him, bro. Do you know your type? Do you smile at him?

14:47Ben Mandelker: I don't understand what you're saying. But if you're asking if there's someone who's my type. I've got a bad poker face, so no, there's no one who's my type whatsoever.

14:56Ronnie Karam: All right, we're one hour away from guest arrival. Dun, dun, dun. So we go to Ben and Mike in the galley, and Mike's like, oh, Ellie, what was she like then? What was she like then? Yeah, she's really like, really, really good man. Let me tell you, she does a downward dog backwards off of a couch.

15:15Ben Mandelker: Is it even going downward at that point? so then Jenna's radioing Daisy and everyone and basically they are there's a lot of radioing going on I think this is when they're starting to get ready to for the guests to come in you know and no it's not I'm sorry it's a lot of things happen I believe it or not I actually watched the show twice last night twice why would you do that well once was to watch the show and twice was to find the fish for the fish report. So I basically watched it twice. So I feel like I was like, oh, I'm going to be great on this recap because I know it inside and out. And literally out the gates, I'm like, wait, what happened?

15:57Ben Mandelker: Where's Mike? Where'd they go?

15:59Ronnie Karam: Well, don't worry. Ben and Ellie are prepping crew lunch and Alicia is right outside. I just pronounce her name different every time. Alicia is right outside. Well, actually, you know what?

16:07Ben Mandelker: I put some energy into understanding how to say her name because I could have sworn last week, Daisy said Alicia. So I was like, oh, it's Alicia. But then this week, someone said Alicia. And then someone said Alicia.

16:19Ronnie Karam: That's why I call her Alicia. But, you know, sometimes it's Alicia if I'm feeling fancy. So Ben's like, all right, let's make some sandwiches for the crew. All right, we can bang that out. No pun intended. Although, do you bang? Have you ever been banged? Coddled? All right, we'll just drop that one, darling. All right.

16:35Annette: Do you separate the cutting boards by color?

16:37Ronnie Karam: Oh, well, we don't because we just have to wash them really well because I'm colorblind. So it just doesn't help, you know. So, listen, colorblind people don't believe in salmonella. All right, honey.

16:48Annette: Are you actually colorblind?

16:50Ben Mandelker: He's like, I am, sugar tits.

16:52Annette: Well, so how does the world look to you?

16:54Ben Mandelker: He goes, right now you look like a Martian.

16:56Annette: A hot Martian? Please tell me I'm a hot Martian. Are you messing with me?

17:01Ronnie Karam: I am messing with you, but I am colorblind. That is the truth. Little honey sugar face face. She's like, oh, fascinating. It's like, oh, isn't it though? It is fascinating. Super fascinating. And so they're giggling. and Alicia is outside listening to them. She's like, why are they giggling? I mean, it's almost like eerily happy. What's going on in there? All right, well done. All right, look at that. First meal crushed it, all right? Literally crushed Doritos with a piece of lettuce on top. They're going to love it. All right, let's get these out. Perfect. All right, you do things so quickly.

17:33Ronnie Karam: You learn. You know how to learn.

17:35Ben Mandelker: You're doing great, rhubarb mounds. So then Jason radios. Everyone's like, all right, everyone, 25 minute warning until the guests arrive. So the guests are like landing in a plane. Somehow this woman's face is paler than it. Did she spread cream cheese on her face? Was she doing some Google cosplay?

17:56Ronnie Karam: Is she pretending that she's a pool cue and it's almost time to shoot? Like what is happening? She's doing her kink is pool cue.

18:07Ben Mandelker: I mean

18:08Ronnie Karam: is someone gonna come put their hands all over their face before they do gymnastics at the Olympics like what is happening

18:16Ben Mandelker: is she about to dangle from a ring with her teeth why is her face full of powder

18:20Ronnie Karam: did somebody use her face to clean off a chalkboard

18:28Ben Mandelker: did she just does she have a massive cocaine problem so they're arriving and then Ben Ellie Ben is like Well, I was looking at pictures of Slovenia. It's gorgeous. There's a snow there. That must be beautiful.

18:42Annette: Yes, yes, we have a very strong ski team. Skiing is a bit like in Slovenia. It's very big. That's why I never ski, but if you need me to ski right now, I will ski. I will do that for you. I too. I overachieve. I'm just here to please. You need a skier. I will be skiing. Like, okay, calm down.

19:04Ronnie Karam: So he's like, all right, well, we've got time. I'm, you know, everybody else is getting in their whites. But let me tell you, one thing in this kitchen, we've always got plenty of time. All right, sweet, sweet. Yes.

19:14Ben Mandelker: No rush whatsoever. Never a rush. So the guests are approaching and then they're all like, oh, my God, there's the boat. Is that the boat? Is that the boat? So then everyone is like, everyone's like rushing because they're already late as it is as a group. But then Ben and Ellie are just still in the galley. And they're just like, they're not listening to the fact that they're being summoned into the main salon. And they're just gabbing and gabbing and gabbing. And then suddenly they realize, and then they're like, they run out. And Ben gets his coat and everything. But Ellie's like cramming herself into the skirt that doesn't even fit.

19:46Ben Mandelker: And they're, I was like, okay, this is just editing. They'll be fine. They'll line up right there as the guests get there. But no, the guests basically show up and there's no one standing out there.

19:56Ronnie Karam: and the little bridge thing to like the whatever the pathway to come up onto the boat is not even drawn you guys or it is drawn it is drawn it's not put down and so the guests are just staring there at that and captain jason's on the radio like oh i don't care you can get here by airway you can get here by sailway i don't care how you get here just get here if you can all right thank

20:20Ben Mandelker: you alita adams love you for that all right you know what we need to start the charter team together as a team and front and center ready to go this is unacceptable so then they he welcomes them and they're like where is this what's going on here this is what's going nowhere we're the only ones here well don't let it happen again okay guys don't let it happen again he's making

20:43Ronnie Karam: a joke and jason's like i understand there's been a couple of changes in the galley however i expect more from ben ben should be ready to go all right this is where i get the shits because if we start strong, we finish strong. We start like this, I'm going to have a trail of poopoo coming down my leg into my sock, and I do not like changing my socks.

21:04Ben Mandelker: That trail of poopoo will be traveling farther than me when I got caught in a current and had to be picked up by a fishing boat. Don't worry, you'll hear the whole story later.

21:14Ronnie Karam: So he apologizes to the guests, and then he's like, all right, all right, all right, we're here now. Now everything on your preference sheet will now attend to. We've got it all. Yeah, come on and get your champagne if you want to follow me in here. Do it.

21:28Ben Mandelker: Sergeant Strong. So Joelle's like, okay, everyone, you go to there. You go to the left. You go to the right. You do a little dance, and I'm going to go look at something that's metal. Okay, everyone. Zimbabwe. And then the rest are going. Daisy starts taking one on tour. Like, here's a bedroom. Here's another bedroom. And that's another bedroom. What else do you want from me?

21:49Ronnie Karam: Each one of these little cubicles is one more place for you to make me fucking crazy.

21:56Ben Mandelker: So Jason goes up to Ben in the galley and Ben's like, I'm sorry, man. I'm just a bit more sensitive these days since I spent$50 ,000 on a wedding that I couldn't even attend.

22:10All right.

22:11Ronnie Karam: Well, I need you to start thinking ahead. Yeah. Well, it's been a lot of discombobulation. I'm not used to it yet. You know what I mean? I've had to explain what colorblindness is to someone from Slovenia. Do you understand how that goes?

22:22Ben Mandelker: Do you know that they ski there? So Ben is like, Jason's like, all right, it's okay. It's really good. I really appreciate you, Jason. I really do. Really. Okay, you're gone now. All right. I'll just sit here quietly.

22:36Ronnie Karam: All right. So tour continues. And the primary, Annette, is like, there's no makeup table in my room. You do not need any more makeup. Okay. This is called an intervention. There was a makeup table and they saw your ass coming down and they got rid of the makeup table. Okay. That's why they were late. No more makeup for you.

22:56Ben Mandelker: Lady, you can have more makeup. God. The thing is, the problem is that we just know more of the white powdery foundation. That's it. You could do other things, but we're. No, you're cut off. You're cut off of the white foundation.

23:09Ronnie Karam: The coalition of Marcel Marceau has come to take back the makeup table.

23:16Ben Mandelker: The French Revolution called and they want their supplies back.

23:23Ben Mandelker: So.

23:26Ronnie Karam: The cast of Haunted Mansion was like, we're running out of makeup.

23:33Ben Mandelker: So Jason is like, all right, Batool, take the line in. She's like, who? Take the line in. So she's taking the line. She's like picking it up and just putting it down, picking it up and putting it down. She can't understand what he's saying. So she's like, uh. And then Joao is telling Jason they just help with this line situation. And, you know, Jason's getting annoyed that Batul's like being a little slow on the uptick and doesn't seem to be able to follow. And Batul's just like, everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. And she tells us, I think my English is good enough, but I have to deal with different accents.

24:05Ben Mandelker: And sometimes it triggers me. I want to do like, boom, speak proper. But, you know, because there's a Zimbabwe accent and there's Australian and there's Mike's British accent. And with each one, we see an example. And the truth is, like, I don't know how she does it. I really don't. Because, you know, Joao's like, here we go. And then there's like, grab the Sheila over there and put her over the loo. And then there's Mike like, oh, well, we go. It's like, how does she do this? I don't know.

24:37Ronnie Karam: It gets to Mike and all she hears are boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, birds, boobs, boobs, boobs. and she's like this is hard and the producer asks who is the hardest to understand and she's like oh my god Jenna girl move your lips and then we see the flashback of Jenna walking by Daisy and she's like I cannot understand the god damn words you're saying girl

25:03Ben Mandelker: Dobby is big up so now Daisy

25:09Ronnie Karam: tells Mike to go on his two hour break and we go to the Ben and Ellie in the galley. And he's like, well, I'm not sure about our charter guests. I didn't like the way he said, don't let it happen again to Jason for five minutes late. I mean, that unnerves me, by the way. I do not like that. I do not like being called out by guests.

25:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah, so now he's all unsettled. And he's like, first charter, they did not give a toss. Like housewives don't care about food because they're a bit too busy arguing, stupid women. These guys, they have standards. I'm like, shit. Like, firstly, don't be fooled by my confident facade. I'm a nervous Nelly on the inside. Can't you tell?

25:47Ronnie Karam: She's like, we've got this.

25:48Annette: We've got this. Positive affirmations.

25:50Ronnie Karam: We've got this, buddy. So we go to Daisy and Chihuahua talking. She's like, ah, it's probably going to be a quarter to four when they go off snorkeling because lunch is at 2.30. I'm going to send Mike with you. Is that okay? He's like, well, it would be nice to teach. I'm a little more on deck. You know, maybe having a little bit more out there. I'm really getting used to the smell of Aquanet.

26:09Ben Mandelker: 100 % always ask me if you need them so then Jenna goes up to Daisy and is like what are you saying Jenna you have to speak up Annette wants a

26:23Ronnie Karam: campari okay thank you very much well unfortunately I'm not able to get fresh grapefruit you watch your mouth young lady Jason radios the deck to get ready and it's anchor time and now Eddie tries to turn the anchor and something comes off and he's like, wow, wow, wow. Almost dies, but it works out. Then Jenna is serving her drink and that's like, oh, can I have a straw? Yeah, I mean, the umbrella's cute, but you can't drink from an umbrella. So yeah, a straw would be good. I don't drink from umbrellas. So if you have a straw, that would be good. Any straw that's not an umbrella, just concentrate on that that would be great

27:09Ben Mandelker: she's gonna regret that because that's all she wants at the end of the episode is an umbrella no kidding she got her karma

27:17Ronnie Karam: that's a good point

27:20Ben Mandelker: now it's 227 and the truth is there's no place like home and the guest asked there's no place like home oh Barry let's start you were never alone I watched an episode of 227 very recently like three weeks ago Does it hold up? Yeah it does actually but what was very funny was that Lester went to the hospital in the episode and then there was like an attendant doctor and she was like this young lady with long hair and everyone was like you're the doctor and they were like not happy with it and I was like gosh she looks familiar guess who it was? Rita Wilson a young Rita Wilson on 227 Wow 227 is where all the stars begin.

28:06Ben Mandelker: I'll tell you that. That's where everybody made it.

28:08Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Everyone made it. That was the school. The school of 227. Who'd have thought? I missed that show. I wish Pearl could be on this show. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the boat. Lazy's going to give you a tour. I'm sorry. We're out of grapefruit. Blame Mary.

28:23Ben Mandelker: I'm concerned for Marla Gibbs. She's old now. I mean, she really is up there. I mean, how old is she? She is 94 years old. God bless her. Holy Marla. God bless this lady.

28:32Ronnie Karam: You go, girl. What an icon. What a wonderful person. Yeah, I love her. Yeah, she's a classic. Flo. Okay, so they get their drinks and stuff, and they're waiting for lunch, and someone's like, well, they didn't have fresh grapefruit. Oh, good. So I'm waiting for a straw to drink some bottled grapefruit. Wow, that's great.

28:54Ben Mandelker: Wow. So Annette does not like this bottled grapefruit juice. And then we cut to the galley and now Leah's like, I like pears. And Ben is like, oh, so you're partial to pears, leafy bras. Well, lovely.

29:12Annette: I have a pear partiality as well. Oh, do you like to sort your pears by color? Oh, sorry. Sensitive topic. You know what I love the most about the pear? Their color. Oops. Have you ever gone skiing with pears? I have many times in Slovenia. Oops. Sensitive topic.

29:33Ronnie Karam: Well, I just so happen to have a pair partiality as well, darling. I just like that. I have a pair partiality. That's the name of a band. Pair partiality.

29:45Annette: Commercials. Here comes one right now.

29:50Ronnie Karam: So we go to the guests. They're still bitching because they're waiting for food. And then Daisy comes to the galley and she's like, did you hear that? Did you hear that? They're ready for lunch. I'm going to go up and speak to them now. I'm just moving slowly, Days. All right. It's lower days here, Daisy. So the guests are asking for drinks, and Jason's instructing the crew, and Batool is still having trouble understanding. It's a big Batool episode.

30:12Ben Mandelker: Big Batool. I love Batool, by the way. This is a big Batool episode, but also, like, I love Batool now. It was like, it really worked for me. I really, I was, like, really into her story, and I love her energy. So, yeah, big Batool fan over here now, if anyone wants to know. Meanwhile Jenna If anyone wants to keep updates on where Ben stands Pick Batool Stan Batool Stan

30:39Ronnie Karam: What would a Batool Stan call themselves?

30:42Ben Mandelker: Batool Batool Batool bottoms Batools Batool sheds Batool sheds Batool times Batool time Do you know what I'm really doing right now? I'm not even going to lie I'm seeing if like there's some weird divine strange thing like that someone from 227 is like their birthday today because I feel like it's someone's birthday like I feel like it's going to be some weird thing where like it's like it's going to be like Brenda's birthday I'm forgetting her name very famous actress who had to win an Oscar Blevins? Brenda Blevins that would be great too I'd be open to her breath it's Paula Zahn's birthday I just want to point out

31:26Annette: happy birthday well i don't need to hear another happy birthday for as long as i live but you do

31:32Ronnie Karam: whatever you want darling happy birthday to you brenda blenheim oh well for my birthday i found

31:39Annette: out that i've got a daughter i didn't even know about i'm terribly sorry but today's not my birthday oh you're sure about it i see that it actually is oh god i forgot i forgot all about it

31:54Ben Mandelker: If you haven't watched Secrets and Lies Someday we'll just have to do a Secrets and Lies recap We'll just have to do it We'll do it as a big When the schedule is slow We're just going to sit down And we'll do a four part recap Of Secrets and Lies

32:08Annette: Well I've got an announcement today It's not Brenda Blevins birthday But I can tell you who's it is It's Kristen Davis's birthday Emily Blunt's birthday Who else's birthday I don't know because I'm not going to pay to look at Cleveland.com. Well, aside from Paul LaZone, it's also Edward James Holmes' birthday, Barry Bostwick's birthday, and also the birthday of no one else interesting. This is a real name. Well, Steve Jobs, it's Steve Jobs' birthday, isn't it? Hello, happy birthday, Steve Jobs. Thanks for what you did to the iPhone. Steve Jobs. It's also the birthday of, congratulations, Beth Broderick, whoever you are.

32:58Congratulations to Spider Sammy, a Roblox star, and Floyd Mayweather,

33:04Annette: who's probably not very happy being on the list as someone named Spider Sammy, eh? It's also the birthday of Billy Zane, Angelina Flynn, and also...

33:19Ronnie Karam: You're really struggling.

33:20Annette: I think that's about it. I think that's about it. There really is quite a dearth of notable birthdays today. There you are. Steve Jobs.

33:28Ronnie Karam: I mean, there's some big ones. Floyd Mayweather, Steve Jobs.

33:32Ben Mandelker: Some days have just like, it's like, oh, my God, and this person too, and this person too. And there's like literally Earl Sweatshirt.

33:38Annette: Earl Sweatshirt.

33:39Ronnie Karam: You're not going to be happy until it's like park overall. That's it. So Jenna comes downstairs. Daisy's doing laundry.

33:46Annette: And Jenna's like, all right, now I have to do some water. going mules for everyone, plus one Bloody Mary.

33:51Ronnie Karam: When Ben is late, it means they're bored. And we've already been late greeting the guests. And now we're late for lunch. And the pressure and the stools to keep these guests happy. I can't take it. And so downstairs, Ben is like, Oh, you. Hey there, monk fruit man. I've already said something with monk fruit. I won't go back there.

34:10Ben Mandelker: Really on the monk fruit.

34:13Ronnie Karam: I'm really obsessed with monk fruit today. Alright, coconut clavicles. Let's get to it. Your energy's good. I can tell. It's good for me. You know, because when I grew up in kitchens, they were brutal. I got a frying pan, a hot frying pan thrown at my head, you know. So be grateful. I'm a nice man, a very nice man when I'm talking to someone I want to bang.

34:34Ben Mandelker: That's right. So Alicia and Jenna are by the bar, and Jenna is like,

34:39Annette: You know how to make a bloody mara? What? A bloody mara.

34:44Ben Mandelker: Oh. You know how to make a bloody mara? Of course I do. It's my favorite thing to drink. Like, okay, one part kiwi, one part turpentine, one part drywall. There you go, Bloody Mary. You really aren't very good at this, are you?

34:58Ronnie Karam: Have you, this is another thing I saw on the internet this week was so funny. There was a Reddit thread saying, oh, I've got a, not conspiracy, but I've got a theory that Alicia isn't her. That Alicia is not even Alicia. Alicia has a twin sister. So this person is guessing that the twin sister, Alicia was like, fuck this. I'm in love. I'm in Whistler. You do it for me. And the sister came on and took her place. And that's why the sister didn't know anything in the kitchen. Because Alicia wasn't completely incompetent last year. She didn't know much. But she was, you know, she could do stuff. And this one doesn't know how to do anything.

35:34Ronnie Karam: So people are saying they think the twin sister came on and stole the job. I doubt that that's true. But God, I hope that's true. Wouldn't that be amazing?

35:42Ben Mandelker: That's so devious. And so low stakes Hitchcockian. I would love that. I mean, it's like that one season of Big Brother where they did that, where they had twins swapping in and out. But like that is, I'm going to say that. That's what it is. That this is her. It's not her evil twin. It's just her dumb twin who just has no idea what to do in the kitchen. Because that's why.

36:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Love it. So Daisy, oh, we already did that. So Ben's like, all right. Most chefs are me. You're lucky I'm not me. Now, listen, now, I got hit in the head with the pen, and not only did it hurt, golly, golly, we're ready to go. But, don't listen to that. I'm in the middle of a story. You don't have to listen to that. Alicia, can you go down and start running the food when it's ready? Please, please.

36:28Ben Mandelker: So, Gally is just like, you know, they're just chatting away in the galley. Just chatting, chatting, chatting, ignoring Daisy.

36:35Annette: And Nellie's like, when I was eight, there were bombs falling from the sky, so I'm very sorry about the pen that hit your head because we had bombs. And mortar and shells and buildings falling on us. But anyway, tell me more about your pen story. That's very fun.

36:50Ronnie Karam: This was such a funny throwaway. I mean, it's so dark, but it was just so funny because he's like, when I was a child, I didn't have much support.

36:58Annette: She goes, well, when I was eight, there were bombs falling on my head. So quick.

37:04Ronnie Karam: And then they just cut away. Oh, my God. And Ben's like, what did she say on the radio?

37:09Annette: She's like, I don't know. Did you hear me talk about the bomb falling from the sky?

37:12Ronnie Karam: So Jenna serves drinks and Annette's like, oh, this is spicy and it's sweet. I'm going to need to see the bottle this came in. I want to see the ingredients. Okay.

37:24Annette: And so Jenna's like, days and days and later would like to see the ingredients of the Bloody Mary.

37:27Ronnie Karam: She's like, oh, go fucking annoying. God damn it, my soul, my soul, motherfucker.

37:32Ben Mandelker: So Daisy brings the Bloody Mary ingredients, like a tray of the Bloody Mary ingredients up. And this girl, Annette is just so dumb. she's like she picks up the bottle of Worcestershire sauce Worcestershire sauce which by the way is like in every Bloody Mary oh it was well she goes it's the Worcestershire sauce because I think you pronounce the town as Worcester despite the fact that it's spelled Worcestershire but the sauce I think you call Worcestershire Worcestershire don't you call the sauce Worcestershire sauce but the town is Worcestershire sauce so she's like it's the Worcestershire sauce that's what it is lady Worcestershire sauce is not sweet that does not make it sweet that's what are you talking

38:12Ronnie Karam: about it's umami she's crazy I know she's an idiot and that's what I love about people like that they're acting so snotty like there's something only I can taste because I have a palate you guys we're rich so please bring me all the ingredients so I can discover what you're putting in this oh it's the Worcestershire sauce of course you don't even know what you're talking about you ignorant fucking pale face. Shut up, ghost face. Shut up.

38:37Ben Mandelker: Yeah, she, like, the fact that she thinks like that. She's acting as if like, oh, they must have put this sauce into this Bloody Mary. They made it differently. It's like, no, this is, it's a fundamental ingredient to Bloody Mary's stupid face.

38:53Ronnie Karam: So, down in the galley, Ellie's like, oh, these knives are horrible. I'm sorry. I'm trying my best. He's like, no, no, you did well. You did well, which I'm only saying to ready your womb for my penis dent. I was like, thank you. So Daisy comes in and he's like, hold on, Daisy. Meanwhile, the guests are upstairs. Like, I am so hungry. Oh, my God. My stomach needs food more than my drink needs a straw. Who uses umbrellas to drink? Am I right?

39:23Ben Mandelker: Just a little update. It's not Worcestershire sauce. It's not Worcestershire sauce. though. We're so dumb. But the point is, she was saying Worcestershire sauce. She was saying Worcestershire sauce and we were saying, no, it's Worcestershire sauce. It's just Worcestershire sauce. It's Worcestershire sauce. But it's not Worcestershire sauce. The point is, she was wrong. I didn't say it was Worcestershire sauce.

39:48Ronnie Karam: Don't drag me in the Worcestershire sauce. I said it with authority. I have to apologize for enough without being dragged into a Worcester scandal. Worcestershire.

39:59Ben Mandelker: I'll tell you who's the Worcestershire. she sure is. David.

40:07Ben Mandelker: So, it's a dude. Hi, we're ready. Stop making jokes about Worcestershire sauce down there in the galley. We need to serve lunch. He's like, hold on one second. I'm just looking up for the fourth time how to pronounce this word. No, the guests are hungry. They need to be served. So, they're all up there hungry and angry and in one case, surprised that there's Worcestershire sauce in her Bloody Mary. Will they ever be served?

40:32Annette: Like, what, are we having a liquid lunch? Oh, geez.

40:36Ronnie Karam: So Jenna brings guests some Moscow mules. And now the food starts coming finally. And meanwhile, Eddie's asking for life jackets for people that can't swim. And Batool's like, what? What did he say? What did he say? I can't hear. That's not good.

40:53Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I was about to say, when it comes to life jackets, that's bad when it's like, I don't know what you're saying.

40:56Ronnie Karam: yeah so then uh the guests are eating and um of course she's someone's like oh my god a noodle these noodles it's a net it's a net she's like um yeah these noodles aren't really my cup of tea and i like that nobody really followed her because i think a lot of times when the primary says stuff like that other people will agree to make them feel better you know like yeah you're right these noodles aren't great but everyone else is like no these noodles are fucking amazing what are you talking about even her husband's like no these are pretty good enough like no one likes the net I'm getting ahead by not enjoying these noodles properly and you're ruining it.

41:30Ronnie Karam: You're ruining it.

41:32Ben Mandelker: These noodles aren't my cup of tea. Literally, I went to sip them and they were not tea. They were noodles. And I was really upset about that. I would really like some instruction on how to drink these noodles. She, yeah, I think everyone else there is friends with the husband. They probably have worked with the husband or something. It seems like they can't stand her. later on in the episode when they go to the beach they all essentially leave her behind and go to the beach bar to be away from her so you know

42:02Ronnie Karam: she's like I'm dying I'm dying good thank god we're around some sand just bury her now I know

42:09Ben Mandelker: so Daisy is running the food and um I like that Daisy leaves the galley going everything's so slow like they can obviously hear it she's like it's just so slow in the galley, it's just so slow.

42:25Ronnie Karam: Five feet from Ben. So she serves a scallop cake and everyone's like, oh my god, this scallop cake is amazing. Holy shit, is it my birthday? Put a candle to this and get me a scallop cake. What's it? Brenda Blesen's birthday, right? That's today. They're like, no, it's Marla Gibbs. God, she's still with us. Good for her. And then it just cuts to Annette and Annette's like, um, yeah, I like scallops in their whole form. It's not like this.

42:52Ben Mandelker: it's just so dumb i mean i get it if maybe you're not someone who enjoys the cakes oh my god ronnie what brenda blethan's birthday was earlier this week i knew there was someone's

43:04Ronnie Karam: birthday around you felt brenda's you felt brenda blethan's birthday i suddenly realized you love

43:09Ben Mandelker: her when you when you mentioned brenda blethan this time i was like wait a second why are why are we not looking up her birthday her birthday is february 20th and for a moment i thought oh 20th. Oh my God. There it is. Glad we could figure that one out. Okay. God bless her. She's being so stupid about this scallop cake. I mean it looked delicious. You know if it's one thing.

43:27Ronnie Karam: Look I don't know about a scallop cake in general. Like that sounds gross to me. Me and you just had a conversation about scallops the other day. Because we were at a food festival. And you know I was like I don't really like a raw scallop. It's like a booger. It's like a cold slimy booger. I don't like it. But I love a cooked scallop. You know we had that discussion. It's not like it's crazy to say that. It's just to every little thing that comes to this lady. She's just like, oh, look, I'm so smart, so much smarter than you because I'm not into scallop cakes. You guys are heathens.

43:54Ben Mandelker: Yeah, she says it in a way like it's almost like from McDonald's. Like, hmm, I prefer it and it's like most more and it's in its full form. I guarantee that cake is delicious. Probably has little pieces of corn in it. It's lovely.

44:08Ronnie Karam: Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

44:19Ben Mandelker: Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.

44:35Ronnie Karam: Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less Hava Nagila Weber

44:50Ben Mandelker: You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less namey

44:59Ronnie Karam: Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch

45:01Ben Mandelker: She's not a McBee, she's a McBride Jess McBride She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock

45:07Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera, whatever will be will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

45:24Ben Mandelker: Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns?

45:26Ronnie Karam: Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg.

45:29Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

45:32Ronnie Karam: I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes we canna, it's Sadana.

45:39Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippi

45:45Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors

45:47Ben Mandelker: Make way for AJ Lopez

45:50Ronnie Karam: She's VVIP, it's Amanda V

45:52Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD

45:55Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva

45:58Ben Mandelker: Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill

46:00Ronnie Karam: Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Hogle your horses, it's Christine Hogle Don't get salty with Christine Pepper

46:08Ben Mandelker: can't have a meal without the Emily sides who what why where and Gwen Pentland let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall we got our wish it's Jen plish

46:21Ronnie Karam: my favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo she's a total knockout it's Katie Manok let's get savage with

46:27Ben Mandelker: Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick it's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa at Ryder Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

46:41Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. Maximum love for Sandy

46:51Ben Mandelker: Maximoska. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Talifson. Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plane. Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose.

47:07Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.