#3231 Below Deck Down Under S04E05: Ballroom Doom

0:00Ben Mandelker: What happens when there's so much

0:18Ronnie Karam: that happens? Well, hello and welcome to What's What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there.

0:26Ben Mandelker: Hi, Benoons. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good.

0:31Ronnie Karam: Everybody, welcome to the show. It is below deck, down on the die. We're very excited. The Golden Crappies are still streaming. Go check it out. You've got until the end of like two weeks from yesterday. So go check that out. You can get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. It was so much fun. So many people there. We had a Backstreet Boys. So go check it out. Yeah. Also, thanks to everybody who came to Crappy Hour Live last evening. Super fun with our guest Lizzie Bassett. That was a great show that should be out now to listen to. And every other Monday or every Monday now we do Amazon Live at 1.30 p.m.

1:07Ronnie Karam: Pacific time. So we'll be back up Monday doing that one. If you want videos of our recaps or you want bonus episodes, which revert back to normal bonus episodes today, or you want to listen to all the traders that we did, or you want ad-free listening, go over to patreon.com. That's where you sign up for that good stuff. And also, there's a free newsletter over there. Just go sign up, and you'll get it every week in your mailbox, okay? This week we're doing a special Road to the Crappins newsletter midweek, tomorrow or Thursday, that'll be behind the scenes with all the crazies we had doing the crappies.

1:42Ronnie Karam: So check that stuff out, and thanks for being here. Today is Blue Duck, Down Under, Season 4, Episode 4,

1:52Ben Mandelker: Textual Tension. Well, you may have forgotten that powdered-faced Ellie Kemperer was on this boat and making everyone's lives hell. Her name is Annette. And when we last saw her, she was on the verge of death, lying on the beach, suffering from self-diagnosed heat stroke, overheating, melting into the sand, soon to leave. I'm dying on my tropical vacation

2:24Ronnie Karam: In the sun at the beach On a tropical vacation What if I die I'm glad they don't have pillows on the beach Because I would have put that thing over your face

2:33Ben Mandelker: Yeah, now she was being Wildly overdramatic Literally every other person Every crew member, every other person on vacation Every person at the beach Every person holding a camera Was fine, wandering around And she's floundering around like It's so hot But that being said, she had actually, I think, good cause to be annoyed because she was on the beach. She was an idiot for not bringing her bathing suit in the first place. But when she said, could you go back and get my bathing suit? Eddie went, got the bathing suit, and then sat around like the idiot that he is. So I, too, would be annoyed if I were her.

3:11Ronnie Karam: No, no, he's not an idiot. I'm going to stand up for Eddie here. I was like last week, he had to have been waiting for the food. There's no other reason he's just going to sit there. And in the after show, he said, yes, Jason told him to sit there and wait for the food because Jason thought the food was coming right out. So he can't go over there and disregard the captain. Of course, we didn't see this in the show. So that's kind of unfair to bring it into evidence. But just for the Eddie's an idiot thing, he's not going to just sit there outside the boat for no reason and play around.

3:38Ben Mandelker: Did he tell Captain Jason that Annette needed her bathing suit and Captain Jason's like, well, wait for the food? I just don't believe that.

3:47Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I think that I had to come back and get the bathing suit and I have to go back. And Jason said, well, wait, because the food's coming right out because Ben is down there. He's making wraps, by the way. It's not like he's making this glorious, fabulous meal. He's making wraps. OK, and they still were not coming out. They were taking him forever. And Jason didn't want him to leave. And then now the food's out. And now they're waiting for food and complaining about the food, too. So, you know, ultimately, this lady, this lady is addicted to bossing people around. Oh, go ahead. You have more to say.

4:17Ben Mandelker: Well, here's the thing, though, as we're about to see, Eddie then complains. Well, I didn't know that I had to bring them right back. Right. So if Captain Jason said you have to wait here, why is he then protesting that? Oh, I didn't know I had to bring them right back. So something is I think what happened was he was he was like, oh, I have to get this woman's bathing suit. But is there anything you need me to bring back when I go back? and Jason's like, well, how about the food? It's like, okay, I'll wait for the food. And then when the food's ready, I'll take the food back and her bathing suit.

4:48Ben Mandelker: I don't think that he relayed, this woman really wants to go swimming, so I got to bring these back to her right now. He did not convey that part, I believe, to Captain Jason because he said as much in about five seconds, like, oh, I didn't realize. I didn't realize you never said that they had to come back right away.

5:07Ronnie Karam: Here's what happens. these rich people do stupid shit and then they turn us against each other and now it's us fighting and then it's the service people fighting and then it's like who's in that lady is an asshole she here's the evidence she's already told us that her favorite story is that they were on a cruise to greece and that she left her favorite pillow at the hotel and she had to send the captain back to get her pillow isn't that just adorable of her so she's already got a kink which is making people do stupid shit for her. Like, whoops, I forgot it. Go retrieve it. Like throwing stuff like a dog, like they're a dog.

5:44Ronnie Karam: And fuck this lady for not being able to go in the damn water in her stupid little cover-up thing. She could have gone in that. And now she's fighting. Now the poor people are fighting against each other instead of eating the rich. Eat the rich. That's what I say. Your lunch is late. Eat that bony. Eat that bony ghost. Eat that Victorian hooker ghost. Eat her. That's what I say.

6:04Ben Mandelker: Yeah, that's good. I'm looking up Annette Perry. She is a partner and project manager at Grand. I'm looking. And everyone does what she says because she looks dead. Grand Development. By the way, her LinkedIn photo tells a very different story of who this. She has a totally different look on her LinkedIn. She has like bleached blonde hair. Put it up.

6:28Ronnie Karam: I want to see it.

6:29Ben Mandelker: Okay. Here we go.

6:30Ronnie Karam: Is it the same lady? Yeah. I feel like there's a lot of Annette Perrys. Here we go. here we go you know some people have a picture uh some people will put the picture up some people

6:42Ben Mandelker: will i never go onto linkedin so i'm not concerned about doxing myself um here she is link do you see

6:49Ronnie Karam: her yeah that is that is definitely her she's still got the white makeup white makeup she

6:54Ben Mandelker: granted but like this does not look like the same person we saw on below deck this looks like someone they took a picture of her coming out of a bar in norwalk connecticut so she's great she uh uh i guess she's part of a she's part of grand development llc whatever that is grand development i don't think this counts as doxing by the way because it's linkedin it's public okay i just did it's not it's not doxing doxing is not yeah doxing is when you reveal information

7:22Ronnie Karam: yeah yeah she still looks like a creepy doll um but with worse bleached hair this time so anyway she sucks so she's dying and i'm rooting for the sun and then eddie is still on the yacht and um Eddie, you know, Eddie's like, no one's told me the gravity of how desperate they're needing the bathing suit back there. And Daisy's like, well, when I go to a coffee shop and say I'd like a cappuccino, I don't mean fucking 40 minutes. I mean, no, I don't have to say I'd like a cappuccino now, please, Mr. Barista. I mean.

7:53Ben Mandelker: Except don't you, Daisy? Because if you tell me that Daisy Keller goes into a coffee shop and doesn't go, I'd like a cold brew now. I'm like. Can I get your name, man?

8:03Ronnie Karam: Five minutes ago, that's my name. That's when I was expecting this girlfriend.

8:08Ben Mandelker: I want my cappuccino now, please.

8:12Ronnie Karam: Oh, really? You took the time to get the smiley face onto my cup, but you didn't have time to just throw it out here. By the way, you got time to clean. Starbucks apparently had some countywide nationwide meeting where they're like, okay, people are getting into fights because, you know, for a while after the Kirk guy got shot, people were going in there and being like, my name is Charlie Kirk. And then they would scream out, Charlie Kirk, your drink is ready. And then people would boo. Like there were starting fights in Starbucks over names, basically is what was happening. So I guess they had some kind of, and I'm getting this all from like a comment on one of our posts.

8:50Ronnie Karam: So they had a meeting and they stopped putting the name on the drink. And now they will put something like, have a great day or wow, wow, isn't it beautiful outside? Or be better. You know, something like they'll put a positive, although that one's pretty judgmental, but they'll put a positive thing or they did then. They just started putting a smiley face. And then the other day I got a Starbucks and it wasn't even a smiley face. It was a straight line with two eyes. And I was like, so now it's a frowny face? Like what the fuck, Starbucks? Apathetic face. And now they just didn't put anything to that.

9:26Ben Mandelker: It doesn't have your name on it at all? well it's typed it's right on the side with my drink cord well i think that's sad i think that's sad that we have like we as humans can't control ourselves enough but also it's it's sad that like us you know i'm not going to blame ourselves i'm going to blame the corporation for being like so cowardly that they just can't deal with a little bit of spiciness in their stores okay like you know pranking people or create causing a stir through starbucks cups is an age-old tradition and it's you know it's not good when it's used for tasteless means if someone gets murdered or whatever but like don't deprive the rest of us for years to come of silly moments

10:04Ronnie Karam: yeah some of us that's the only thing telling us have a good day is that cup yeah you know yeah

10:10Ben Mandelker: well i guess we should have all known as we go downhill when they turn that christmas cup red for one year oh my god a red cup with no decorations

10:20Ronnie Karam: way to erase christ from christmas am i right cancel culture why don't we just call it muss okay let's just call it muss so uh we go back to the beach picnic and joao is like oh those the suits are coming on the way they're they're on the way they're coming from sim the sim suits are the sim suits are on the way christian is to protest today christian's like yes um christian doesn't talk like that christian's like yeah it's my birthday wow the husband because the husband has to be super nice because he's married to such a pill that he oh shit i i got my um headphones out hold on oh wow you over christian to yourself pill that uh i did over stimuli i was doing jazz hands in here uh the other the husband has to overcompensate for his wife being such a pill so she's so nasty that he has to walk around being Hey, it's me, Christian.

11:16Ronnie Karam: It's my birthday. We're excited for horse day. Yes. Wrong kind of horse. Wrong kind of horse. Okay, there's many different kinds of horses. Am I right?

11:27Ben Mandelker: So they're still making this lunch. And Ben's like, did we do the tuna? We haven't done the tuna. Fuck. And Jason's watching. He's like, the galleys had timing issues. Problem with the clock. Preparation. I need to step in there. We're skating on the noise. And I'm sure the guests aren't happy. I wouldn't be happy. That's why I'm going to wrap this tuna in a kimono, give it a little spritz of my signature scent, and send it to the beach.

11:51Ronnie Karam: Welcome. This is a signature scent sandalwood tuna. Hope you enjoy. Make anybody horny, baby. Jason's like, yeah, this is all wrong, so I'm going to stand here and look blank-eyed. That's how I kept him. So Ben's like, generally, a captain will not help me with a meal, but this one, dress it in a kimono. Slightly embarrassing, but I'll take it. And back to the beach, Mick Nick Annette is still like, Oh my God! What if I die right now? Tell all the other Victorian dolls I'll miss their glass faces.

12:27Ben Mandelker: Someone give her a folly ball with a face on it. She needs it right now. She needs a Wilson. She is just going through it. So finally, Eddie arrives 42 minutes later, which honestly like that's ridiculous i would i would be pissed it doesn't matter what happened i would be pissed um well because the other thing by the way daisy is like messaging me like like eddie was a bathing suit so like it should not have taken that long um and so jason heads over is gonna head over with the with the food soon and daisy is like jason has jason heading over with a food and eddie's like yeah he was coming in three minutes but like what the fucking fuck I'm gonna lose my shit in a second oh I'm sorry that you're bothered right now Eddie I'm sorry I'm sorry that you are burdened when you have you know young Miss Havisham melting on the sand over here okay like you're not the one who is is put out at the moment yeah I'm still team

13:24Ronnie Karam: Eddie I wish he burned that suit or I wish he brought her the wrong thing I wish he brought her like one of her ball gown dancing dresses I was like whoops is this the wrong thing just to make her stop her kink of making people go fetch things for her i wish they just did everything wrong because this lady's too much so he's like well you know i mean it's just communication because i've been waiting here you know no zim zim eddie zim zim eddie you know didn't you hear it and uh so he's like okay whatever so daisy greets the guests coming back from the bar from the sandbars and joao's uh giving handing out the swimsuit and annette just runs she's like i need to change and her husband's like you want me to cover you it's like i don't even care at this point so she puts on her little swimsuit and runs into the water and frolics and it's all fine then she gets in the water she's like yeah i need coral to be closer to me so people start running around

14:14Ben Mandelker: to move coral closer everyone's worried about the coral being bleached but i kind of think it's nice that color because basically like that's her i think that's like i think bleached coral is her like that's her her mood board that's her linkedin picture for sure she's like i want my makeup to make me look like bleached coral so then um they're eating their food while they kind of

14:40Ronnie Karam: lie around in the sea in the water and they're like oh my god is this wrong to be eating fish in the sea i mean you eat cows on the land what's the difference fucking mass murderers just enjoy it. Enjoy your psychosis. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. With so many options for weight loss treatment plans, it can be hard to know what's the best choice. Who to trust, what to know about side effects, and if something's even going to work. And that's why HERS offers access to doctor-developed treatment plans that are personalized to you.

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17:48Ronnie Karam: And I'm really struggling right now to move as quickly as I can. I just don't have the confidence. I haven't been on the yacht for six years. Secondly, I broke up with my fiancée. You might have heard she cheated on me with one of my best friends. third of all i've got bizarre spiky hair that i cannot fieri off of my head so is it fieri or fieri i think i used to say guy fieri into and i think you told me it was fieri is that correct or i don't i can't imagine that i was like it'll be like guys guys make sure you

18:21Ben Mandelker: honor guy fieri your name i feel like you i don't know if it's fieri or fieri it's it's probably it's probably Fieri if you were to like you know like it sounds like is it a he's Latino right? Is it a Latino last name or is it an Italian last name?

18:39Ronnie Karam: I don't know as far as I'm concerned his culture is drive-ins and dives

18:44Ben Mandelker: his culture is yelling at us with sunglasses on the back of his head did we mention that we saw him we were in very close proximity to Guy Fieri just about a week and a half ago I was going to say for somebody who doesn't

18:56Ronnie Karam: care about guy fieri you were pretty excited to see him i was like oh my god we're right by guy

19:02Ben Mandelker: fieri right now he's like i wasn't i wasn't excited to see him i was excited at the concept of us being close to him because i think that's hilarious close to you because he did he was just as guy fieri as you would expect he's like hey stand up linda that's smart that's my wife linda stand up linda stand up linda stand up linda i was like let linda sit down guy yeah

19:27Ronnie Karam: linda loved it i think linda has spent years being like oh well i guess i'm just linda i'm not going to get any attention guess i'll go watch you cook another steak a fucking food show so he started being like i couldn't do it without my wife linda listen linda is the one who puts the sunglasses on the back of my head every day. So, Linda, take a bow. Take a bow, Linda.

19:50Ben Mandelker: So, okay. So, Guy Fieri, by the way, Guy legally changed his last name from fairy back to Italian Fieri to match his true heritage. I don't know. All this time I thought he was Latino.

20:04Ronnie Karam: So, he's Italian, I guess?

20:06Ben Mandelker: I guess so.

20:09Ronnie Karam: I find it homophobic. He didn't want to be a fairy anymore, so he just changed his name. Well, erasure. erasure

20:16Ben Mandelker: well here we go we learned something today we did we learned something about somebody

20:22Ronnie Karam: nobody wants to learn anything about but there you go so we go back to the beach Daisy Joao are talking drinking Diet Cokes Daisy's like just imagine tomorrow we'll be having a drink and I hope when I order it it just comes out instead of taking 45 minutes

20:39Ben Mandelker: what's your predictions for tomorrow night well I don't know I think Eddie's gonna still try with Alicia. And Daisy's like, Alicia, even though she has a boyfriend, I mean, it's fair play if he's still gonna try. I say go for it, and when I say go for it, I mean go for it now!

20:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I don't think he'll be able to resist if he has a few drinks in him. So then Eddie and Alicia are in the crew mess and he puts his arms around her and cracks her back. She's like, could you do the jumpy one? You know, the jumpy one, we jump up, and he does it and cracks her back. I wish someone could lift me like that I've never had my back cracked like that I'm so alone cut to Jason and Batool cleaning the bar and they bump heads and Jason's like sorry she's like what he's like sorry

21:28Ben Mandelker: I don't understand Mike is blow drying his hair I just went on to our Facebook group and someone put up a really lovely photo of Mike he went to Turkey and got the whole hair transplant thing and he documented it all So there's like an image of him like a day after his hair transplant. It's like his scalp is just like red and bloody. And he's like, that's my scalp.

21:51Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it looks like he's like clown. What's the clown from The Simpsons? It looks like that. Like it's shaved in the middle and then it's all red from the blood. You know, there are some things you don't need to put on the Instagram. Like nobody needs to see that. I don't want to see that. But it also explains his hair because his hair does look like ball hair. that's grown on top of it.

22:13Ben Mandelker: It also explains why he's so adamant to shape his hair like one of Bowser's children, Super Mario Brothers, because he's like, I spent a lot of money on this, so you're going to see it in all the different shapes and sizes. Do I look like the torch that Lady Liberty is holding up? Yes.

22:30Ronnie Karam: I think it's because it doesn't look like normal texture hair because when they do that, they get the hair from either the back of your neck, which grows differently, or they just get it wherever there's a follicle. So maybe they get it from your nuts or maybe they get it from like your arm or like your ankle hair or something like that. And then they put it on your head and then it looks crazy. So he's like, oh, just make it look like the heat miser. Then make it work. Yeah.

22:55Ben Mandelker: Don't love it. So Joao is like, well, Mike told me he tried to give you a little smooch the other night or as we call it in Zim, a Zim kiss. Smooch. A Zimooch. A Zimooch. A Zimch. I do not screw the crow I don't believe that

23:15Ronnie Karam: I've seen your previous seasons ma 'am I've seen your previous seasons

23:20Ben Mandelker: I take that back I've screwed the crow and it fucking bit me on the ass which was part of the screwing and we see you know some of Daisy's greatest hits with Gary etc Daisy

23:30Ronnie Karam: why are you into me I can't even want me now you want me make up your love

23:36Ben Mandelker: I want you so badly Hey Daisy! So Joelle is like, I've had my fair share of experiences with Chief Stews, but Daisy, Daisy is really fun. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

23:50Ronnie Karam: All my past work and experiences were, my relationships were super turbulent, and I would like ask Gary if he was hungry and I would get pushed back, and for me it was exhausting.

24:00Ben Mandelker: Well, we work on the same principles of how we can work hard and play hard. And Daisy says, ha. I'm like, oh, oh, I'm hungry. And Joao's like, oh, my God, what can I get you? It's just so refreshing.

24:12Ronnie Karam: He brings me a sandwich that says, here's your sandwich, you dogpuff fitness. So romantic. So then we go to the galley and Ben is calling Alfonso, asking for whole fish. He's like, hey, but we got our fish tonight. You got the whole fish? I love our whole fish. All right. All right. Now, Ellie, you got any dessert experience? And she's like, actually, when I was growing up, my cousin had dessert shop. So every summer, my parents would send me off to work and they would call it vacation.

24:41Ben Mandelker: He's like, what? Did they pay you? No, I was a kid. They used me as free labor. All my other friends were at beach swimming. And I'm just like in a dessert shop, just whisking egg whites, piping icing.

24:56Ronnie Karam: I was paid in dessert. Oh, so then what? Did you get bullied for being fat? She's like, I've never been fat. Watch your mouth. I love cakes. Unfortunately, being a person that has abs all the time, you might want to show OnlyFans shot. Please put QR code this season. I'm working for QR code. Okay, thank you. We see her like with her abs as she's just doing her backwards down dog off the back of a couch. And she's like, I've never been fat, you know, but I've had abs at all times, but I cannot eat these desserts. I want to make them and feed them to somebody else. it heals part of my soul that needs abs more than dessert.

25:34Ben Mandelker: That's hilarious. Yes, it's good old Yugoslavian upbringing. You know old Yugoslavian saying is, cake is nice, abs are better, eat some cake, I have abs.

25:47Ronnie Karam: Nothing tastes as good as ab feel. Yugoslavian saying.

25:53Ben Mandelker: You can't have your cake and your abs too. It's very direct, it's right to the point.

26:00Ronnie Karam: Fat people stay poor. Old Yugoslavian saying.

26:05Ben Mandelker: Nice belly cake eater. Very famous Yugoslavian story.

26:10Ronnie Karam: You're spinster because you're fat. Old Yugoslavian saying.

26:14Ben Mandelker: I am the second stew. Not you. Eat your cake. I have abs. Old Yugoslavian saying.

26:25Ronnie Karam: so a guy arrives with some fresh fish and christian's been begging on about having a salt crusted fish and for christian's birthday dinner this is going to be the perfect reparation

26:36Ben Mandelker: for today's tardiness rap tardiness i know um i was immediately nervous salt crusted fish i was like oh what's gonna happen what's gonna happen you know last time there was a salt crusted fish you saw a destruction of a friendship that was actually on this show this was when laura and i think zarina made a salt crusted fish she wanted to bring it upstairs and laura's like you can't come upstairs yet it's not ready and i was like but on zarina's like but i have to bring it up and laura's like but you can't and i want to serve it on blue plates it was something like that i just remember that zarina brought up the salt crusted fish and then went off to the corner and she was like all upset that she had to do all the stuff in the corner on on that deck so So when this salt-crusted fish comes along, you know it comes with high stakes.

27:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah. I remember there was that one where they were doing a salt-encrusted fish, but they couldn't fit it in the oven. That was a good one. Oh, salt-encrusted fish. That was a good one. You little rascal.

27:34Ben Mandelker: So Ben and Daisy are talking about dinner, and Ben's like, All right, so what we're going to do here is we're doing a chilled gazpacho. show it's already made and you'll be happy to hear that it's already made so then we're going to do an entire crusted snapper i got a 17 pounder from alfonso's a bit of a mix-up at first because i called him and he said i'm busy right now judging dancing and i said what are you talking about he's like dancing with the stars i said oh my bad i called alfonso ribeiro okay days you're not laughing at my joke that's fine the point is i asked alfonso i said can you get me a goal weight

28:09Ronnie Karam: ellie fish he said what's that i said a 17 pounder am i right hon like here 17 pounds gold weight yugoslavian saying you can teach a man to fish but and he will eat forever but you teach a man to have gold weight of fish and he'll look good forever i'll break it up in that sort of kitchen area i don't want a massive lag between quarters daisy right not nor do you obviously i'm just really trying to sharpen up here, okay? Really trying to sharpen up. She's like, oh, I'm so happy he's trying to sharpen up, but the plan, it makes me very, very nervous. Gazpacho. What about that plan?

28:52Ben Mandelker: She's just nervous because she just knows like salt-crusted fish. It's going to go wrong. So then he's going to make a cake, too. And she's like, so Eddie radios for Mike to give him a hand, And then Mike grabbed something from the tender and he like is doing something from the tender. The whole thing slows down and like a big swath of screen gets blurred out. And I was like, I'm supposed to look at something. What am I supposed to look at? And I swear to God, I could not find what they were trying to make me look at. I was like, what has happened? I thought someone was about to fall into the water or die.

29:26Ben Mandelker: And then afterwards they're like, you dropped your radio. I was like, could you put an arrow up on the screen for those of us who can't follow what's going on? I missed the entire thing and I was too lazy to go back.

29:35Ronnie Karam: He's like, I thought it just floated. And Daisy and the stews, she's telling him dinner's at eight. Jason's sitting with them. It's been a shit show, so get your shit together. And then Mike walks away from the deck and goes back inside. And Daisy's like, is he putting stuff away at the bar? And they're like, where did Mike go? Mike? Mike? And we just hear, hairspray somewhere. We know that Mike is doing hairspray. And sure enough, everybody's looking for Mike. and then it just cuts to Mike in his room, like trimming his nose hairs with a nose hair trimmer. I know.

30:10Ben Mandelker: Great. That's not going to be good for me. After the Valley Persian style, there was a scene where Amir was like, Natasha whacked Amir's nose hair out and we talked about it. And now I'm getting like best nose hair removal ads all over my internet. I'm so mad. This is the worst example of computers listening in. Like that's the part you decide to, to, to, to eavesdrop on. I talk about Ina Garten every five seconds and Alison Roman and like beautiful food. And you're going to give me nose hair, please. Well,

30:40Ronnie Karam: as the song from color purple says, God is trying to tell you something.

30:55Ben Mandelker: Okay. So do you want that?

31:01Ben Mandelker: God's like, I'm in your algorithm. Trim your nose hairs. It's Chris, Samuels. So Joao is like, the problem with Mike is, if you give him a gray area, he will take advantage of it. So then we see them all like, where's Mike? So he's like, where's Mike? And he's just in his room trying to find sunglasses. He's just primping, basically, to get away from his work.

31:22Ronnie Karam: He's primping. So finally Joao finds him, and he's like, oh, it's cracking. Are you inside or out, Mike? And he's like, I'm pretty much doing everything at the minute. So I don't really know. Well, I asked Daisy and Daisy said that you must help us out. You needing him now? She's like, no, I take him. I don't tell him to come back inside either. I don't know what he's doing back inside.

31:45Ben Mandelker: So they put him back to work outside. And Alicia's folding tags and, I'm sorry, folding clothes. And, you know, all the crew uniforms have their initials on them. and she's like, DK? Who is DK? DK? Is there even anyone on this boat whose name starts with a D? I think we really need to check in on Alicia. Something is happening. This woman is regressing. She is Benjamin Buttoning. I think that she's actually 86 years old and we're coming towards the end of her Benjamin Button journey because she is regressing.

32:22Ronnie Karam: The lights are slowly starting to dim in the lead behind Alicia's eyes for sure um so for those of you who didn't watch the crappies yeah because you still can because it's still streaming um watch it Serena was one of our guests she came on she was in LA and she came on so fun what a bundle of energy this lady is so great we really love her and she was I asked her about the uh Reddit conspiracy that it's really Alicia's twin on this show and not Alicia. And she's like, no, she's like, listen, trust me. The twin does not look that much like her and she's much crazier. She's like, she's even crazier than Alicia.

33:01Ronnie Karam: So I guess that, that put that one to bed. I believed that, but it also made me want the twin to come on the show. Yeah.

33:08Ben Mandelker: And I did also ask her, I said, um, what happened to Alicia? Because she seems somewhat competent under you, but now she's like a disaster. She can't even do anything. and Zarina basically was like Alicia really responds to positive encouragement and in a stressful situation she just sort of like goes brain dead which I get that's how I was like I used to have a my old back like 20 years ago I was the assistant to like a studio executive and he was he was so mean to me so mean at all times and it was and so I was always flustered and I like I was terrible at my job and you know and when you have to like organize all these things and like which call gets to go through, which one doesn't, which meeting and everyone wants him and you have to be sort of like, you know, doing traffic.

33:53Ben Mandelker: And I couldn't do anything because I was so paralyzed. I was like, I was afraid of getting yelled at and I was whatever. And then I finally quit. And for some reason I gave a three week notice because I don't know, I'm neurotic. And, um, but then since I didn't care anymore, cause I'd already quit, he just stopped, he just stopped yelling at me because there was no point in yelling at me. And then all of a sudden I did my job. I was like, amazing. I was, and then he was like why are you now being a good assistant i was like because you're not yelling at me anymore so i definitely get it i definitely get it well i'm surprised you didn't just stay it was it was the truth was actually i really liked the guy even though he was so mean to me maybe a stockholm syndrome and like he took me out to dinner once or twice and we got along so great but it's just like in the office i think that was like that weird like toxic hollywood love language thing of like i'm gonna yell at them because it's gonna make them stronger and it just crumpled me but i didn't say being in the army where they're like you pussy

34:51Ben Mandelker: i'm like i'm a pussy you're right i'm gonna leave the army now by the way while we're on

34:57Ronnie Karam: tangents and talking about things that are not this episode did you see the captain lee post on facebook did i already talk about this correct me if i did no but there was a captain lee post on facebook and he was like all right i just want everyone out there to cut the shit okay i'm not dead everyone keeps telling everybody i'm dead well look it's me and marianne we're sitting here we're having the greatest time of our life i'm not dead cut your shit facebook it's like yelled at facebook because you know facebook has all those ai articles that are like kenya's arrested she's been she's in prison and then yeah like captain lee has died i mean why do we why is facebook even still a thing it should be illegal everything that comes out on there is a lie

35:38Ben Mandelker: I'm not dead

35:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah okay so Back to the galley Jenna comes in and Ben's like Oh hey there you look great It's a big pile of salt with fish in the middle What do you think of that love And she's like I don't know that Oh you know well it's experience Expensive restaurants that's what does it Oh might have some Expensive taste there honey pie Um

36:03Ben Mandelker: And uh And Ellie, meanwhile, is like, Gina, can we get some plates, please, so we can plate the food? Which I think is a perfectly nice and normal request that someone from the kitchen may ask someone who's in service. And Jenna's like, Marisha. I was like, whoa.

36:23Ronnie Karam: Like, excuse me, like, tell me about today at my job. Like, who do you think you are? Who do you even think you are? Well, the energy I'm picking up from Jenna is almost as if she's trying to establish herself above me, like my presence is not important enough for her to acknowledge me, which is what I've encountered all my life with insecure women. It's the story of my life. Insecure women. By Ellie.

36:47Ben Mandelker: You know, I call women like Jenna cake, and women like me abs. They are cake people, and they are abs people. You know which one I am.

36:57Ronnie Karam: Eat the cake, never get the abs. Old Yugoslavian saying. Hey, what's for dinner? Yeah, what is for dinner? I'm heading up there. I've got to eat with normies. This is horrifying. It's a big snapper I bought today and question installed. What do you think about that?

37:14Ben Mandelker: You're going to crick that up there? Very nice. So the guests walk in and they're happy. No criticisms about the proper. We have proper horses tonight. Country horses. So then Daisy's trying to radio the galley. She's like, what she's saying is, oh it's time for dinner but what they're hearing is so so

37:44Ronnie Karam: daisy daisy it is very difficult for us to understand please take the cake out of your mouth

37:52Ben Mandelker: so jason sits down with the guest he looks totally unenthused and annette um has sparkly conversation she goes so what is your favorite activity what what team building exercise are

38:04Ronnie Karam: we doing right now free diving it's actually free diving oh well how long can you be underwater without you know breathing or whatever how long can you be underwater without somebody bringing you the proper swimsuit that you've requested have you ever gotten heat stroke while you've been swimming underwater just want to know well i average about two minutes three minutes four minutes i'm falling asleep need to stop counting out loud commercials here comes one right now

38:38Ronnie Karam: pancetta mushroom tortellini you can eat smart still fit in your bikini i ordered blue apron i've been happy ever since they sent pre-portioned meals i don't make no measurements saute the pancetta then i add the mushrooms large skillet because you can't have too much room garlic pesto tomato paste colabrian chili season the taste order blue apron today

39:13Ben Mandelker: so then jenna's radioing

39:15Ronnie Karam: Oh, wine and water service, yeah, I've been here. It's like a snail's pace down there. Can we start firing up the second course once this goes? Because we're going to eat this really quick. It's like a spatula and a shot glass. Whoever thought that would be good first course? Ben's lack of organization seriously affects my service. Jason is watching this meal like a hawk. And when I mean a hawk, I mean with Homer Simpson eyes just blinking blinkly. You don't know what's behind there. I'm there to make him look good, just as he should be trying to make me look good.

39:46Ben Mandelker: Have you ever seen a hawk in a kimono that smells like sandalwood? That's what's going on upstairs. So then she's like, she's like, fish. But I can't understand a word that she says.

40:01Ronnie Karam: Hey, days, we really can't understand anything you say on the radio. Okay, well, I'm saying go with service. What do you think I'm talking about? You think I'm giving you the lyrics of fucking Bloody Mary Poppins? It's dinner time.

40:14Ben Mandelker: I would like to know those lyrics. How's it go again? Chim, chim, chim, chim, chim, chim, chim, chim, chim, chim. That's a lot of chimneys. You know, when I grew up in boarding school, we only had one chimney. I'm going to cry. Okay, well, listen.

40:27Ronnie Karam: I'm sorry. Was someone singing zim, zimini, zim, zimini, zim, zimini?

40:34Ben Mandelker: Joao, where'd you get that umbrella? I got caught up. So Ben's like, but moving forward, it's very frustrating. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Ben, why are you complaining to Daisy about that? You can't control the radio disturbance, okay? She goes, well, do you have your phone on you? I'll text you. He's like, no, I don't, because what happens is you've got a lot of disturbances. Okay, well, how about we stop talking and go to service, please? Can we talk about all this afterwards? I love it. Yeah, but you're going to do it again in five minutes.

41:05Ronnie Karam: It's going to be the same thing. It's like, it's fine. I'm bad.

41:09Ben Mandelker: She's like, that's fine. I don't care if I do it again in five minutes. I love her yelling at Ben. It's so, I feel like it's been forever since we've just had a stew just yell at the chef the way the chef needs to be yelled at. We've had too many nice, nice chief stews come through. So Ben is like, well, that's going to be great. That's going to be great. I'm able to actually plate soup and have a conversation with someone. It's not actually going to end the fucking world. He goes, fuck off and just do your job.

41:38Ronnie Karam: Daisy, this is not personal, all right? He's like, yeah, I know, I know. I got it the first time I literally said that, which I might have heard if you'd get that fucking snapper out of your ears. God damn it, Gary. He's like, all right, now I'm over it. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

41:56Ben Mandelker: Oh, it's so good. So then Eddie is talking about how there's, like, the communication's really rough and everything, and everyone's just staring at Ben as he plates the food, and finally, like, a sponsor goes up. The gazpacho arrives, and then Annette is like, I don't really much care for tomatoes, but I don't mind tomatoes in a soup. Well, thanks for that insight into your life, Annette.

42:16Ronnie Karam: It's everything. It's everything that happens. You shouldn't base your entire personality on the one thing you can complain about. Now, am I hearing that and something is dinging in my head because I'm talking about myself? Yes.

42:29Ben Mandelker: But still. We don't like, Annette, we do not like mirrors of ourselves.

42:33Ronnie Karam: Exactly. So then we go to the galley. Ben's looking for broccoli. He's like, oh my god, where's the broccoli? Where is it? Look for the mascarpone, Ellie. And she's like, Ben seems very frazzled. And then Daisy is coming and she's getting frustrated. And I can see where she's coming from. I can see. I can see it. He's like, honey, honey, hey, saccharin sternum. Do you know where the capers are? Capers, please. Come on.

42:57Ben Mandelker: Ben's job is to be my manager. But I feel like what's happening is I'm trying to manage him. hmm it's like i am trying to feed him cake when he should be making me work out for abs it is all

43:11Ronnie Karam: reverse so now we're back at the dinner table and they're like oh my god jason jason jason can you take a question jason jason it's me from abc jason do you cook and he's like uh well i enjoy it But, you know, I can do tuna tartare

43:31Ben Mandelker: Oh, well, you know, I enjoy tartare as a fish preparation But I don't enjoy it on my teeth All right, well, it's another fascinating insight into your life, Annette Thank you so much

43:42Ronnie Karam: Love tuna, not so much as a tartare Wow, wrong answer Really tacky chef here One time I had a chef on a yacht And I asked him what he'd like to cook And he actually chose the right thing God, that was a good chef. I mean, that was a good captain.

43:58Ben Mandelker: The answer was asparagus. So Eddie brings up fish, the big fish, and Ben follows. And it's like, okay, it's all exciting. And Jason's telling us, the wait between dishes? I could have had five dinners. I'm not very good at small talk. So Ben, hurry up, save me. So it's kind of funny because we have all this hype about the fish baked in the salt. And then it goes off to the side. I feel like we don't even see Ben crack it open, right? Isn't that like part of the fun of salt baked fish is that you bring it to the table and you whack it with a spoon and everyone goes, oh my God, there's a fish in there.

44:35Ben Mandelker: And then you move on to life, you know?

44:37Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I guess so. That's true. They don't care. They don't appreciate anything. No, they don't.

44:42Ben Mandelker: They're awful.

44:43Ronnie Karam: So then we go to Ellie icing the cake.

44:47Ben Mandelker: She does a great job, by the way. I want to point out she iced that cake like a pro for someone who was like just a sous chef who just comes in and doesn't really have culinary experience except having worked at a well clearly she has experience from working at this dessert shop I was like damn I've never frosted a cake that looked as well as that that was insane it was just like perfectly like even and like nice sides it was pretty nice yeah she did a good job and she did the decorations those cherry

45:15Ronnie Karam: decorations hello this is nice yeah the strawberry the strawberries dipped in whatever did were

45:21Ben Mandelker: these strawberries or cherries maybe you're right i don't know but they did look really nice but i make beautiful beautiful cake on first try i was like what's going on here yeah yeah this is my job

45:33Ronnie Karam: my child my child labor job um so ben's like well what are my biggest things is you'll always remember a bad meal, but you don't remember if the food is a couple of minutes late if dinner is great. You'll just remember it is a great experience by a man with slightly spiky hair for no reason.

45:51Ben Mandelker: He's wrong. You actually do remember those things. Well, you don't remember a couple of minutes late, but you do remember 25 minutes late. You remember that the meal took forever and ever and ever.

46:02Ronnie Karam: Yeah, for sure. And I'll tell you, that white-faced lady will definitely remember it. The white makeup lady. She will. So we go back to the galley And Ellie's cutting some bread And Joao's watching dishes And she's like, would you like some focaccia? Yeah, it looks delicious I love that Yeah, well, I think you just made it today Oh, you made this? No, the bakery made it, come on No, we made it from scratch Oh god, we've been making it Have you seen this kitchen? Us make fresh focaccia?

46:35Ben Mandelker: Questionable Questionable So Ben is like Oh look at that Cake Sugar brows I'm noticing now that I did not react Well to Alicia's energy If one would even say she has energy Sort of like a lump with blonde Hair buns I just didn't react well to it She's ultra sensitive Whereas Ellie she's just smashing projects Cleaning up after them And asking me for the next one That's all I want That's all I require

47:07Ronnie Karam: Oh, the honeymoon face. Isn't it cute? So now they serve the face, and Christian's like, This looks great! Whoa, 50's the new 30!

47:17Ben Mandelker: And he blows out the candles and does finger guns and like a woo-hoo lasso thing. Oh, God.

47:27Ronnie Karam: So now back in the galley, Drow's checking with Jason. He's like, God, that was a fucking long wait. Jeez. Oh, hang me. Hang me. He was doing kind of like a hanging thing, but also a blowjob sign at the same time.

47:39Ben Mandelker: He's like, let's engage in autoerotic association. So then Daisy and Jenna do like a little cowboy dance thing to celebrate that they got done with this shit. And Daisy's checking with Ellie, asking how the day went. And Ellie's like, it was crazy. We both felt really bad about being late. Well, he needs to take responsibility for the way I would like to take responsibility for my team. You know, like the pressure's there. He just needs to rise to the occasion. Yes.

48:12Ronnie Karam: Okay, what do you want me to do about it?

48:14Ben Mandelker: I don't know what else you want me to say. I'm not even sure I understand why this isn't a TV show.

48:20Ronnie Karam: Next morning, 6.30 a.m., Batool and Alicia get dressed. And Batool's like, you look beautiful in this blue thing. And she's like, what? Blue is your color. She's like, cheers, babe. appreciate that

48:34Ben Mandelker: the editors I think just kept that in there because Alicia was just like in a thong and her butt was like facing the camera she was like bending over her butt was in the camera they're like let's get it in there whatever they say and then Eddie and Alicia have a little hug and Daisy serves breakfast and reminds everyone that there are comment cards so there's like docking guess what they don't crash everyone's like wow how did he do that they even re-docked

48:57Ronnie Karam: and then I know we're excited to see how the docking goes but guess what guys it's time for a fish report fish report oh my god it's a fish report

49:11Ronnie Karam: this is one of the most handsome stingrays i've ever seen this is a good looking stingray it look at his eyes he's got triangle eyes he looks like he's judging you but he's got such a nice body look at these little triangle this triangular belt he's wearing just fantastic what a handsome devil

49:29Ben Mandelker: But he's also kind of like the boss of the office. Because look, here comes Francine and Pamela. Mr. Boychick, would you like your coffee? You have a call on line three. Mr. Boychick, I need you to look at these files right now. We need your signature on this. Excuse me.

49:48Ronnie Karam: He's a badass. He's coming through the office. Everybody's scared. Look at these other zebrafish things looking at him. Oh my God, it's Mr. Boychick. Look at him go. Oh my God, is that a new belt? That is a fabulous belt. Get back to work.

50:02Ben Mandelker: Mr. Boychick, there's an issue with the air conditioner. Do you want to take a look at it, Mr. Boychick? Here he comes.

50:09Ronnie Karam: Okay, next we come to our mass murder scene of the season, which is very dark. And that is these dead fish. The snapper. Is that one snapper and then other fish? Or are they all snappers?

50:20Ben Mandelker: I think so. I think it's like one snapper. This is one snapper and some side snappers.

50:26Ronnie Karam: This is death. I don't like it. And I don't like when they don't close their eyes. Because you know in movies when people die and they're like, they close their eyes out of respect. They don't do that for fish.

50:36Ben Mandelker: These fish are like the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory family in their bed right now. And they're like, wait a second. We're not in the water anymore.

50:43Ronnie Karam: And this mean snapper one just finally got a waddle job. Look at this right here. He finally got his waddle done and then they killed him. God.

50:51Ben Mandelker: What a shame. What a shame.

50:53Ronnie Karam: Yeah, dead fish. Okay.

50:55Ben Mandelker: It's a beautiful fish, honestly. It is. Oh, a sea snake. Or is that an eel?

51:00Ronnie Karam: Whatever the hell it is, it's just scary as hell. But it's cute. I like its little orange face and it has a green body.

51:06Ben Mandelker: Its face is cute. It's like the Annette. It's like the Annette of eels.

51:09Ronnie Karam: It is the Annette. It's like, I did my face. It's like, come to my LinkedIn. You won't understand it. I'll guarantee you that much.

51:17Ben Mandelker: I think this eel is lost. I feel like those eels are going up to the other fish and be like, I'm sorry. Do you guys know which way to get to West Street Coral? They're like, no, I don't know.

51:29Ronnie Karam: uh no but i know we're strangers but uh just a piece of advice fix your face you look crazy

51:36Ben Mandelker: look at the check out the tourist here with the orange face am i right

51:40Ronnie Karam: look how it turns away from the other fish it's like okay well my face is stupid i guess i'll just

51:44Ben Mandelker: go this way my god i hate when the eel comes around just don't tell me you're a tourist without telling me you're a tourist am i right seriously then we come to these fish i don't

51:56Ronnie Karam: know what they are but they have square heads and i kind of like them they're like please don't get us in the light our foreheads are hideous please don't look at us but i think if they all came forward with those foreheads then everybody would accept them uh for a moment i thought they may be mahi mahi but they're not mahi mahi i know from my time with animal crossing i had a period of time

52:19Ben Mandelker: when i was really good at fish shapes and everything because you catch so many fish in that came. But yeah, I love these foreheads.

52:24Ronnie Karam: They look like baby doll heads on fish, which is actually pretty creepy. I can see why they're in the dark. These are creepy looking fish.

52:31Ben Mandelker: Look at that little, all the way to the left, the little fish that's under the big fish. That little fish is like, you know what's great? When you have a reverse commute, there's no traffic. I'm telling you, going over the

52:44Ronnie Karam: hill at six is a lot different when you're coming from the valley. I'll tell you that.

52:48Ben Mandelker: Look at all the traffic on that side. God, I'm glad I'm not them.

52:53Ronnie Karam: guess there's a baby face convention everybody's on their way to god glad i'm not going to that

52:58Ben Mandelker: he's why are all these people wearing helmets huh little football helmets yeah then we come to

53:05Ronnie Karam: um some kind of shark i mean this is a gorgeous looking shark is this a shark i'm assuming it's yeah that's a shark wow that's a shark oh i love this is beautiful beautiful shark oh there's bad

53:17Ben Mandelker: news for those yellow fish down there hello take a look in your rearview mirror there's no kidding

53:22Ronnie Karam: for you yeah and he's fabulous this shark it's got like stained glass body it's got a beautiful kind of new fin like it's a little lower on its back and it's not just a triangle it like slopes up into the triangle and then the um actual what do you call this is another thing right his tail

53:39Ben Mandelker: yeah you know what's long one short i mean good looking fish look at those and those lines the sort of like those yes very aerodynamic it reminds me of when toyota was like you know what we're gonna do we're gonna make the toyota camry sporty someone like someone from toyota came around and was like guess what the 2026 model of the shark is gonna be more sleek and it's gonna go faster

54:01Ronnie Karam: and also like when guys work out a lot and they get that v that goes down their stomach that's like this version of those it's like the shark's version of the v it's like i work out i work out yeah i'm training for a marathon yeah 24 hour fitness is literally 24 hours people yeah oh oh i like this one this is kind of the big orange bland fish it's just like i have a fish too yeah nice lips though janine has like a very plain face but beautiful lips

54:29Ben Mandelker: like janine's going out on a date she's like well it's been a while but i figured i'd put

54:33Ronnie Karam: myself out there coming out of the dark for the first time in a long time Janine's like I'm ready listen I don't have an outfit for this but I've got lipstick okay let's show me show me the boys another stingray okay who cares about the stingray when we have this fish our favorite yeah actually

54:54Ben Mandelker: so I told Ronnie beforehand there was a fish I saw that I absolutely loved and it was this fish bows from a different angle so it still counts but i'll try to find it on my own time and present

55:05Ronnie Karam: okay this is gorgeous this is a yellow striped fish very pretty you know coloring the patterns are pretty good the um fit is great the skin fits it very well the eyes are my favorite it looks like a cartoon fish very big eye it's kind of confused um yeah confident you know stupid people are

55:24Ben Mandelker: and i like that it's just it's like uh it's just nice to be alone all those other fish are around so many other fish i'm just gonna hang out here in this sort of like this is kind of like the this part of the coral is kind of like the um it's like prime for uh gentrification it's like you know what i actually really like it here i like it it's a little bit more quiet it's a little bit more down to earth you know there's like i'm gonna be the first person to build on this block god before you know there's gonna be a starbucks um okay and then these fish these are purple

55:57Ronnie Karam: on the body and then orange on the tail and it's just so sad when everybody shows up in the same outfit like we're all on the same tiktok we all have the same i know i'll go these are all like

56:09Ben Mandelker: unremarkable to me this to me is like you know when you're playing with like the tint or something on a picture on instagram and you go too far and suddenly your face turns pink like that's what i feel like everything is doing in here i feel like the the coral is doing it i feel like the fish are doing it i feel like their color adjustment's wrong i think they're so pretty i really like

56:27Ronnie Karam: these fish but it's so it's so hard i think to be beautiful i think this is a very la fish because people come here and like oh my god i'm so gorgeous and then they get here and like oh my god everybody's gorgeous oh no yeah i do we're all in the same clothes we all have the same body type

56:44Ben Mandelker: look look at all their these are all the hot fish and then their assistants are all like those sort of like blue fish, those blue sort of like bulbous fish.

56:53Ronnie Karam: They're like, stop yelling at me, please.

56:57Ben Mandelker: Do you have an availability at 3 p.m. on Wednesday? Available on Wednesday? Okay. Please hold for Mr. Connors. Okay, thank you.

57:05Ronnie Karam: Okay, fish report, fish report. Fish report. I'm going to save that document. I'm going to save that. Fish report 4 is what it's going to be called. Yes, you better replace that. Yes. Okay, so So now the charter is over and people are given comment cards. And Christian's like, whoa, I think you guys were outstanding. I mean, everybody made it so enjoyable. It's my birthday. Thanks much, everybody. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. And he gives a tip. And as they walk away, Christian's like, I think they did great, honey. What about you? And she's like, I think that you and I have different opinions on what was good and bad.

57:45Ronnie Karam: Okay. Just like, I mean, I did accept this today. I knew I married a tomato eater, but whatever.

57:53Ben Mandelker: Jason, we now see afterwards, Jason's reading the comment cards. He's like, all right, well, okay. Service and hospitality is five stars. The staff was exceptional. Overall experience, three stars. Meals took too long. Overall experience, three. Speed on dining service. Almost lost Liz snorkeling. I love that. Almost lost Liz snorkeling.

58:15Ronnie Karam: It's another thing we're going to blame the staff on. not Liz chasing a fucking stingray. Yeah, serious. Jesus. Put an air tag on Liz and stop bitching to the staff. It's Liz's fault. All right, tip meeting number two. We're going into this charter. They were going to be demanding. We knew that. So the reviews do speak volumes. All right, being late for their arrival, not great. Not a good start. Joao, snorkeling, the risks involved in that. Spoke about that, but there's no excuse for that. All right, all right. Now, the problem could have been worse. All right, we did get Liz back, and that made the problem worse because Liz is terrible.

58:50Ronnie Karam: Trust me, as someone who spent two hours waiting for dinner with Liz, it sucks.

58:56Ben Mandelker: Safety first, Liz last. Okay, Gally and Daisy, you know, I sat at the table and the service took way too long. I mean, have you ever listened to Liz tell stories about how she went to Trader Joe's? I don't even know who this Joe person is. Ben's got to really get his systems right there because I'm really aiming, you know, for a hell of a lot more. We can do a lot better. The tip was$20 ,000. Apparently there was$5 ,000 more, but Liz dropped it on a stingray at the bottom of the sea.

59:24Ronnie Karam: Liz dropped it on a stingray who got on a bus and now she's actually chasing a bus through the town. So we've lost Liz again. No longer our responsibility. All right, this is a reflection on how we're performing, which is terribly. Get it together. Liz is like, I'm not surprised. The lack of urgency is literally killing me. It's embarrassing. Parasite.

59:44Ben Mandelker: Now, the helmet. I didn't know when I was going to give it out, or if I was just going to give it out this season, but I just think it needs to be given out. So I'm going to give it out to someone who actually knows not to drop a radio in the water. So I think the helmet might actually stop him from talking a little bit. And so he gives it to Mike. And Mike's like, Will I ever learn from your mistakes? Probably not. More than likely, Jason will end up giving me the helmet again

1:00:14Ronnie Karam: I mean look Mike did drop his radio he was talking I'm not gonna protest This too much except to Point out that Ben fucked up two charters in a row And he is His timing wise and he still does not Get the helmet but okay So Jason's like self reflection And Alicia goes self reflection Same shit different toilet

1:00:40Ben Mandelker: so then um daisy makes a toast to uh having a full team and they cheers and then eddie and alicia are like being flirty because they keep sticking their tongue tongues out at each other and they're doing this little bowl thing you know with their fingers and then ben is obsessing over the comment cards and we hear all these uh all the guests commenting and in his head like mediocre okay hate his haircut two and a half hours late for dinner it was good he stars where was the cracking of the salt of the fish at the table

1:01:15Ronnie Karam: why didn't ben get the helmet it's just us why do those fish have baby heads

1:01:25Ben Mandelker: um so then ben is like there's a lot of things about the food it's all timing could have done better. We will do better. Less cake, more abs. Is it my fault? Yeah, it's probably my fault. It's all about the guest experience. That's why I'm here. I've never really felt this. It's not hitting the mark. It's upsetting. Almost as upsetting as paying$50 ,000 for a wedding that you never have.

1:01:54Ronnie Karam: So clean, clean, clean, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Eddie and Alicia are lying out in their swimsuits later. And they're talking about how they're going to fuck it up tonight, guys. And then he's like, yeah, I'm wearing my travel top that has come everywhere. I mean, you'll see it tonight. Yeah, it's my travel top. I'll give you a freebie. We'll see it. And he shows her a picture of him in a Speedo. Yeah.

1:02:18Ben Mandelker: He's like, yeah, I'll swipe through those photos. And she sees him playing soccer. She's like, what position do you normally play? Rugby, yeah, rugby. And Alicia's like, what position do you normally play? and he's like normally inside center or 12. She's like that's sexy. You can count to 12. I've only gotten to nine myself. Yeah. Do you reckon I got, I grew out the chest tummy here a little bit? She's like yeah, I kind of love it. Yeah, Eddie's got great energy. I see myself a lot in him. He comes in wanting attention. I want attention too. I mean, like do you have a boyfriend? But like, I'd rather leave the country than break up with someone.

1:02:54Ben Mandelker: That's what I did with my last ex, which is how I got into yachting.

1:02:59Ronnie Karam: She's like, wait a minute, I'm doing it again, aren't I? Oh, my God. I just want to be loved unconditionally. I should get a dog rather than a boyfriend. Dogs do not love you unconditionally. That's a lie. They love you for food. Yeah. I know we all like to tell ourselves, oh, my God, people are really, I mean, that's just the way he looks at me. It's just so loving. It's really not. He's looking at me like, when the fuck are you going to feed me? Feed me again. I don't care if you just fed me. Feed me right now. if your hand was made of actual edible meat, I would eat it. Please let me eat something.

1:03:32Ronnie Karam: So Eddie touches a scar. She's got a scar on her stomach. And she's like, I got my appendix taken out. He's like, oh, you're even more beautiful now. Appendix are disgusting.

1:03:45Ben Mandelker: Their flirtations are off the chain. So Ben asks Jay-Z, he's like, Ben's like, hey, so tonight I'm just, I've been going through a lot, I was wondering if I could just chill out in the guest cabin tonight. I just need it. It's like, okay, sir, this is your second time in a row that you're going for a guest cabin. This is going to be a problem.

1:04:06Ronnie Karam: Yeah, every single time. He's like, whoops, I'm feeling so bad, Daisy. So he'll find a reason to feel bad every charter now. So now Ellie is saying that they're sad that Ben's not there. Daisy's like, yeah, I'm sad too. And Jenna's like, okay, he's not going out. He's going to stay in and chill And Jenna's like I'm a little bit disappointed Because I was trying to get to know them And they're such a sweetheart It's a son to them I just want to cradle him like a little broken bird And you want to just look after him He can't fly He's just a little bird, he can't fly Then try and help him And he starts abusing you verbally Sexual harassment, yeah Oh, just love him

1:04:47Ben Mandelker: So then Alicia turns to Ellie And she's like So you guys get along so well I've never heard so many kikus before. And Ellie's like, yes, we have very similar sense of humor. We understand each other quite well. Probably better than Jenna could ever understand, Ben, I will just say. Probably because she's always eating cake.

1:05:09Ronnie Karam: So they arrive out to this club, and there's dogs everywhere. They're so cute. And Jenna's like, Ben would have loved her to hold these dogs. Ben's really a lover of dogs and anything living in that needs him. Just want to go to Ben.

1:05:30Ben Mandelker: i really have to find that sound clip i have it somewhere so then um uh we see a shot of ben trying to put his shirt on maybe that's why she left him

1:05:38Ronnie Karam: and then um at the bar alicia i just want to say he was struggling and he couldn't get the shirt on he was like oh and then he goes all right that's hilarious because he knows he's gonna make it to the edit he's been on so long he's like all right guys all right then alicia and eddie are being

1:05:56Ben Mandelker: flirty at the bar and everything and then um ellie and joao cheers and ellie's like at work i'm very focused serious but of duty all bets are off my type of guy is big muscle a viking manly man no abs all cake basically joao and there's a primal part of my brain that wants to merge genetics with Joelle. Okay. That's pretty technical, but yes.

1:06:24Ronnie Karam: Yeah, merge genetics with Joelle. Yikes. So now Jenna's flirting with Eddie, and she's like, you know, you know, competitors. He's like, yeah, New Zealand's better, but that's all right. She's like, no, South Africa's on four World Cups. How many of you won? Three, exactly. All right, well, how many rugby championships have you won? How many tri-nations have you won? What's a winning percentage? What's your home and away loss? She want to get into that or beat you?

1:06:49Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And so then Jenna's like,

1:06:55Ronnie Karam: Okay, listen, this is boring. Okay. Or, you know, this is boring. Or as we call it, where I come from, Jenna. Okay. Let's get to know each other for real. Ladies, ladies, the question is for you. How many squirters do we have here?

1:07:12Ben Mandelker: What podcast has Ellie been listening to? Sounds like she was trying to choose some girls girls podcast. She's like, look, I could be like podcast also. Look, call me daddy. That's me.

1:07:24Ronnie Karam: How many squirters in the house? And they're like, oh, my God. I don't know if I'm at the right fucking table. That's a lot. I haven't had sex in a very, very long time. I don't even know if I squirt anymore.

1:07:38Ben Mandelker: But it was like, unfortunately, that was one word I understood. You know, you only got here. I want to know about your experiences. Where have you been? What were you doing? Where you came from? Not your pussy girl. No.

1:07:51Ronnie Karam: Well, you want to know about her experience? She's an OnlyFans girl. I mean, she's been squirting. That's what she's doing. So the food arrives. They start eating. And Mike's like, Ellie, I just speak a few different languages. I speak quite a few. English, Croatian, Russian, Spanish, cake.

1:08:09Ben Mandelker: in Yugoslavia they say OnlyFans is a great platform for merging genetics while you squirt

1:08:17Ronnie Karam: am I right everyone so he starts talking to her in Spanish and um he's like oh yeah Ellie's looking fire like that girl wants to have fun and I feel like she's down for it there there are so many things to learn from each other you're boring me no one wants to talk about squirt

1:08:36Ben Mandelker: so Jenna's like she basically asks for a picture with Eddie so she takes it so Mike takes a photo of him and then Alicia's now jealous so she's like so she stands up and she basically jumps in and she's like how about a picture of the three of us so then they both kiss him on the cheek I don't know why they're fighting over this guy basically he looks like Mr. Peanut right like why are you so obsessed with him

1:09:04Ronnie Karam: Mr. Peanut the backstory story. So they come to the bar and Daisy and Jenner are by the bar and we see Alicia hanging out by Eddie and Daisy's like, ah, you and Eddie are having a good time, aren't you? I wonder if they would take our dogs as well. I wonder if that just needs a hug.

1:09:23Ben Mandelker: And so and then they're all dancing and then Ellie is just like filming herself dancing like squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt. And Joao tries to flip Daisy, but then drops her in the sand. And he's like, well, because of sand, it's okay. In Zim, they call this the sand boogie. And she's like, I'm covered in sand. My apologies.

1:09:45Ronnie Karam: She just starts dancing. So then we go back to Jenna and Eddie, and she's like, you've got Alicia's lipstick all over your face. Yeah, I promise. I haven't been kissing her. Yeah. Yeah. Am I right? Well, she's got a boyfriend. If you've got a boyfriend, stop being so flirty, am I right? Well, if I'm dedicated to a relationship, I can never

1:10:07Ben Mandelker: I really, really think that is healthy from you. Okay. I've got to be honest. I thought Jenna was really ditzy. Like not a lot going up there. Like basically a human door knob. Like we ever seen a cloud and thought, could a cloud actually do chores around a boat? And then it can because there's Jenna, like just an empty vessel, like a big nothing, like a plank, like a rock. like I found a spatula and put an apron on and had it clean dishes. That's what I thought she was. But now that I get to know her, whoa, she's actually got some brains in there.

1:10:42Ronnie Karam: She likes rugby, so now I want to bang her. So Eddie's like, well, you're an ideal woman. You're what every guy fucking wants. She's like, oh, Ellie and Jenna. Oh, no, Alicia sees her. She sees them. She's like, Ellie and Jenna, I think you can see on my face it bothers me. Look, that's the face you always make, though. Take a look.

1:11:03Ronnie Karam: so they're like why are you jealous if you've got a boyfriend she's like it's human nature i mean if your nature is to be really jealous

1:11:13Ben Mandelker: okay sure so eddie kisses jenna's cheek and then eddie then ellie and mike are watching jenna and and eddie and ellie is like they're they're gonna get laid and mike's like 50 dollars that they don't and then so they shake hands and ellie's like mike seems like a fun time he's got like teenage boy energy you know which is basically code for friend zoning but mike just is like wow there's like a tall skinny girl right next to me and i'm gonna shoot my shot because i've tried with

1:11:43Ronnie Karam: with literally everything in front of him you know well the thing i think is you're pretty girl you're very good looking thank you you're you're very good looking yourself little man very very good looking as well the moment that Ellie goes

1:11:57Ben Mandelker: thank you that means that I am not sexually attracted to you

1:12:01Ronnie Karam: yeah that voice is definitely not into you she's doing her like coming on the boat like hello my name is Ellie I'm very happy to be here

1:12:10Ben Mandelker: I'm nothing but positivity all of the time have you noticed that it is this is a very dry bench that's because no squirting is happening with you Mike

1:12:22Ronnie Karam: I was a squirter until I met you. Until I met you. Now Mike, keep inside her. So Mike is like, would you like to have some fun? And she's like, oh, we will see, little person. So he tries to go in for a kiss and she pulls away and she's like, um, all you get is pick. Okay, pick. I'm in no rush. She is to get the fuck away from you. What are you not getting Mike, you fucking creeper?

1:12:45Ben Mandelker: Mike is more like my little brother. You know, I'm still liking Joelle, but I'm not the person who pursues men. I like a hunt, you know, somebody who's a hunter. I don't like gatherers. I want to merge my genetic DNA with a hunter, not a gatherer. Thank you.

1:13:05Ronnie Karam: Shoot it. Don't purchase it and put it in grocery bag, okay? So now everybody's, Ellie tries to get in the girl's car to go home, and Jenna shuts her out of it and slams the door on her face, and she's like, just shut up over there. Go over there. I said, whoops, wasn't intentional. It was 100 % intentional. She's going to get it. I don't know who Jenna thinks she's fucking with, but you're in danger.

1:13:31Ben Mandelker: Yeah, yeah. You watch out. You're about to faffo, babe. I can't figure out who Ellie is going to be angry at. Is she going to be angry at Daisy because Daisy and Joao are being romantic? Or is she going to be angry at Jenna because Jenna is being a bitch to her right now? I don't know, but it's going to be bad for whoever is on the other end of it.

1:13:52Ronnie Karam: So they go back. They play Truth or Dare in the hot tub. And Mike's like, Joao, I date with strip stockers and run around. He's like, technically, I only need one hand. The rest I could wave around because it was so cold. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So he gets naked. So cold in the Caribbean.

1:14:06Ben Mandelker: Ha, ha, ha, ha. You're in a hot tub and you're in the Caribbean where it is famously frigid. That's why you'll need one hand, Joao. Is that why?

1:14:14Ronnie Karam: So he's running around all naked and stuff.

1:14:16Ben Mandelker: and then um now it's daisy's turn wait wait wait i can't emphasize this enough he runs around and then he like flops down on like the like this like the sun chair or whatever the sun bed and he's just like on it face down and but has like it's like doughy michael buble but it's just like up i'm like are you going to put your swim trunks back on i just ain't just gonna lie there like

1:14:41Ronnie Karam: that okay i've been a douchebag on this show off and on but he's i like his i like his he's hot he's hot naked i like it just cute i like that he's laid there naked he is a good looking guy

1:14:54Ben Mandelker: just was like funny because he's just like it was just like a whole lot of pale pale booty right

1:14:58Ronnie Karam: there um so then um now alicia dares daisy to kiss someone she really really wants to kiss and she turns to joelle who's like in naked dolphin pose on the thing you know because he does hop up there like a dolphin at SeaWorld. And she's like, well, I've got to give you a kiss because we've got to get on. So she kisses him and they're both super happy. And he's like, oh, I'm really happy. I'm facing downwards on the mat at this stage.

1:15:23Ben Mandelker: Ha ha ha ha ha.

1:15:27Ben Mandelker: I've got a Zim boner. Ha ha ha ha. So then Daisy's like, well, it's the only attention I'm probably getting all season. So then Jenna asks Eddie, like, okay, truth, Eddie. Who do you wish to go on a date with He's like yourself Me And Daisy's like alright I'm gonna go to bed And then she promptly falls out of the hot tub onto the floor

1:15:54Ronnie Karam: So now Alicia Hears that so she goes up to Eddie She's like swims over to him to Eddie And she's like you said you wouldn't date me I think that's really rude And he's like oh shut up you've got a boyfriend So Alicia's like Daisy you've got to Give someone a truth in the air before you go she's like all right just neck on eddie then that's all you want jenna you do it not least

1:16:13Ben Mandelker: yeah you do it it's like wait a minute yeah wait so then jenna's kissing eddie oh this is where daisy falls over and everyone goes everyone goes back to bed so then jenna walks by mike and eddie and jenna's like i'm gonna do a bathroom because i'm gonna pee because my bathroom's full what was that are you saying your bathroom's full uh okay so then jenna and eddie are like in the cabin they start making out and alicia walks by and sees and is like very jealous and so then they they are in their rooms and then jenna tells alicia like he kissed me alicia's like who alfonso with a fishmonger

1:16:59Ronnie Karam: um so alicia is sending him texts and she's like oi oi i haven't got a clue what's going on in my head but you need to get out of it he's like believe me when i say i haven't been able to stop looking at you well same but you've been getting on with jenna she's a safer bet i guess he's like i would drop her in a second if i got to be alone with you yeah and um then they're like we'll talk in the morning it's like love you and then alicia's like good night baby and just like

1:17:29Ben Mandelker: good night sweetheart so intrigue and our note i will i'd like to point out from our note taker who says oh my god what a bitch i'm sorry but that seriously just it's not like that violation of girl code well they're just going to use each other to get back

1:17:48Ronnie Karam: jenna and eddie are just going to use each other to get the person they're interested in interested in them right it's classic she's going to flirt with eddie so ben notices her and he's going to flirt with her so that alicia notices him oh i love a mutual use because usually on these shows only one person gets used so i'm glad they're using each other sweet yeah it's great all right well that brings us to the end of below dick dan and uh thanks so much for being here everybody go check out the golden crappies live stream tickets available still for the next couple of weeks over at uh watch what crappens.com we'll talk to you next time bye watch what crappens

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