#3254 Below Deck Down Under S04E06 Part Two: Textual Desires

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0:30Ronnie Karam: Hey, this is Paige from Giggly Squad, and you guys, it's here. McDonald's Big Arch Burger.

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0:54Ben Mandelker: The Big Arch sauce is tangy, creamy, and it's the perfect pair to the Big Arch burger. Go grab a Big Arch burger today, but warning, you're going to need both hands to hold it.

1:05Ronnie Karam: At participating McDonald's for a limited time while supplies last.

1:24Ben Mandelker: Watch what happens. Oh, I mean, you don't want to. Watch what happens.

1:28Ronnie Karam: Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So then outside, Joao and Alicia are having like real couple talks. Alicia goes, do you fart often? And he's like, never in front of a lady, ever.

2:04Ben Mandelker: Do you ever get your ears checked? So then in the crew mess, Ellie is like, I don't know about this. I don't know where's my phone. Let me, I'm sending rage text to Alicia right now. Stay away from my genetic jackpot. so on the bench Alicia's like have you ever posed while the other one's in the shower

2:25Ronnie Karam: have you ever pooed have you ever pooed she says have you ever pooed while the other one's in the shower and he's like no never why would I do that that's so romantic

2:34Ben Mandelker: makes much more sense

2:36Ronnie Karam: I've really found a romantic man out here I'm going to find out who our boyfriend is I'm sending this to our boyfriend tonight get her social security number she's dead she's dead

2:50Ben Mandelker: Pooing and bathing used to be my thing. Joelle's like, so you were in the bath while you were pooing? Wasn't that last season? Are you sure?

3:02Ronnie Karam: And we don't get an answer, which I love. It's just so funny because they're sitting there like this couple on a bench, her head's on his shoulder, and she's just like, what do you think about pooing and bathing? And he's like, hmm, I'd like to understand that better.

3:17Ben Mandelker: these two this is romance ellie is watching yeah and ellie's watching thing there's like a torrid romance happening whether she's like what do you think about poo what shape is your favorite when it comes out and i was like how dare they be floating right in front of me on the camera this is disrespectful she will pay don't fuck with me i'm a very kind person don't fuck with me is she going to get to his genetics first questionable so they go back inside thinking

3:49Ronnie Karam: nothing's wrong and ellie meanwhile is stewing in her room and she's like oh i love receipts

3:53Ben Mandelker: i love receipts damn she's gonna blow shit up yeah so now joao and ben are in their room and joao's like well i think that ellie or shall i say elena got a little got a little bit uh freaked out that I was talking to Alicia. And Ben's like, well, yes, I'll tell you all about it. She's like, oh yeah? Oh yeah, I know everything. She was a little offended. She thought it was like a little date. And I had to say, listen here, caramel twigs, everything's fine. You still got a shot. You're still in the game. But she thought you were on a duck date that you brought another woman.

4:31Ronnie Karam: Well, I just invited Alicia because she was literally lying on the couch doing fuckhole. I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. This is hectic. I mean, when did we say this was a date? Oh, well, he is definitely handsome. But wait, I thought you were into Elena. Aren't you into her? Me? What? No, no, no, not at all. I was just jerking off to her on Instagram innocently. It's not marriage or anything.

4:57Ben Mandelker: I can't commit myself to a woman after what happened to me. I'm sensitive now. So, Jenna, Alicia, and Batool are in the crew mess, and Jenna is saying she likes Batool's hair. And Alicia They're basically Jenna's like Alicia I can ask you a question Alicia's like Oh what So are you and Eddie There is no me and Eddie But what about the What about the Alicia's like Okay fine fine fine He did text me last night What did he say What did he say Give it to me Let me know Alright and then after that We squish it Can we squish it after this

5:34Ronnie Karam: Alright I want to talk about If you share with the text We'll talk about it again that fast all right then we'll squash it all right no talking about it to other people either all right then it's squashed or it makes me embarrassed to read it back i actually want to throw up so she reads the texts and she's like i haven't a clue what's going on in my head but you need to get out of it believe me when i say i haven't been able to stop looking at you same too but you're with jenna and she's a safe bet i would drop her in a second to be an alien with you you oh my god what that yeah it turns out i'm a massive flirt

6:11Ben Mandelker: that was what do you call it to me it felt like it was more than flirting to me that was a full-on like like statement of purpose i feel like flirting you're sort of it's like oh is there interest is there not i'm sort of alluding to some interest but like you're like i can't stop thinking about you i want to be with you to me that's out of my head yeah i guess that's flirting But to me, that's kind of just like you're sending you're basically you're basically saying open for business. The neon sign is now saying vacancy.

6:41Ronnie Karam: I want to merge genetics with you. So Jenna's just looking at her like, OK, just, yeah, you know, I definitely did shut it down, though. No, you didn't. Not in that text. I mean, maybe today, but even today you didn't really. What are you talking about?

6:59Ben Mandelker: you first of all you also initiated it and she keeps on telling people like oh he texted me i'm like in response to you and you did not shut anything down but yeah well guys i'm sorry to

7:11Ronnie Karam: interrupt this but it's time for a fish report fish report oh my god it's a fish report

7:26Ronnie Karam: Okay, here we go. Gorgeous neighborhood, first of all. This is a gorgeous neighborhood in the sea. This large leaf thing is welcoming all of its guests into the new community. Everyone, look at it. This school of fish isn't even all going the same way. They're just going about their business, enjoying their own independent lives. Yeah.

7:46Ben Mandelker: What we see here are a bunch of the yellow fish, which are really one of the mainstays of this season. And we see a lot of these sort of generic, but like pretty yellow fish. And, you know, they just like, this is like a, it's, it's new year's for them. And they, they all have the day off. So they're like, Oh my God, um, we're going to take a field trip to see the leaf. You got to come to see the leaf. That's really, I want to take a photo by the leaf. I'm going to put on the gram.

8:08Ronnie Karam: This is the leaf country club in Dallas, Texas. Everybody's blonde. I'm just like, Oh my God.

8:13Ben Mandelker: Yeah. This is like, this is like their Washington monument. They're like, Oh my God. Did you guys go to the leaf?

8:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Okay. Then we come to a fossil that needs to go get some Botox. This is crazy.

8:29Ben Mandelker: This is some coral. But it's like a mazy coral. It's a coral that has like a maze on its face. This coral is like what crawled out of Demi more late in the movie of the substance. It's like, oh.

8:43Ronnie Karam: David Bowie has a glass ball in his hand on this coral.

8:46Ben Mandelker: He's like, oh, I don't get you. Toby's in that coral somewhere.

8:52Ronnie Karam: so thing right some order just a little fish you know this is oh there were little fish where oh

8:59Ben Mandelker: there are a little some little fish there's one fish that's like doing a flyby you see it it's

9:03Ronnie Karam: like whoa look at me i think that's a fuzz is that a fish is it a fuzz the fuzz is like

9:09Ben Mandelker: i am only here to serve as scale for the viewer

9:15Ronnie Karam: like um right this stingray you know now we've seen some handsome stingrays on here with beautiful patterns. This is a pretty blasting, right? This is like a stingray on the way to Grateful Dead. It's just like, I'm just going to wear some tie-dye. Call it a day. It's not liking an effort. It's a very long ponytail. It's not even using both of its fins. It's only using one fin. It's like waving.

9:41Ben Mandelker: It's waving to its friend Jesse. Hey, Jesse, you going to go see Grateful Dead? Yeah, we going to Grateful Dead

9:49Ronnie Karam: again, again.

9:52Ben Mandelker: i'm in row five where are you where are you yeah okay i'll see you in there i'll see you in there yeah great seeing you great seeing my wave maybe they'll wave back this time am i right

10:01Ronnie Karam: cut my armpit hairs cut my armpit hairs you like that not shaven okay but trimmed trimmed

10:07Ben Mandelker: yeah this is a stunningly unremarkable stingray yeah okay so um this turtle just loving his life the turtle it's this does the turtle is just like coasting through like it's look it's back like it's it's front fans are doing all the work but it's back fins are like we

10:25Ronnie Karam: you know yeah i think this turtle just won something or like got a day off because normally we see the turtle swimming like this with their fins like this but this one has its fins all the

10:36Ben Mandelker: way up it's like yes yes this turtle just remembers it has a free starbucks because it's

10:44Ronnie Karam: its birthday it's like oh my god 150 stars but then realize that all it wants to get is a simple

10:52Ben Mandelker: black cold brew which is basically the cheapest option anyway it's like damn it should i get the should i get a macchiato just just to take full advantage of the value i don't know i'm gonna do it i'm doing it i'm having a sugary drink today someone's getting a frappuccino

11:06Ronnie Karam: Oh, yes. Okay, so then we go to Mike. Now, Mike is not a fish, but I would like to point out that his tattoos are worse than we ever could have imagined. Look at this tattoo. It's a lip. It's a sexy lip on a face that is chewing on a crucifix. Yeah.

11:28Ben Mandelker: It's upside down. It's like a lady's face and like a crucifix is dangling from her mouth. which sure i'm sure that's what everyone wants to see when they make out with him although i will say him mike wearing a hat is is really helpful because it contains that hair he looks literally 60 times better with a hat best he's left without one best he's ever lit um okay now the reason why my the reason why he's here is because um the next fish they did this crossfade into the fish and i felt like it like i didn't want to just have us go to the fish i want to get the full experience of seeing mike and then watching it crossfade into this absolutely stunning puffer

12:14Ronnie Karam: fish look at this puffer fish she's look at this crop this is crazy oh my gosh look at that that is

12:22Ben Mandelker: so good that's a good call on your part good eye and they were that's by the way they lined that ups that way mike's face basically turns into a puffer fish it's like look at this except the thing is the puffer fish is actually attractive like this is a puffer fish holy human face on

12:39Ronnie Karam: this fish this fish is crazy this is like the lisa renna of fish what is this fish doing

12:45Ben Mandelker: it's like lisa renna lisa renna puffer fish but like also like the chapel roan of puffer fish too it's like ready to sing at the Abbey it's just got his humongous human lips

12:59Ronnie Karam: this is crazy I've never seen human lips on a fish before but this fish is like own it own it baby also this fish is like fuck with me because look it turns its head and just keeps side eyeing the camera like you want a piece of me come on look at his big bulging eyeball his big bulging clear eyeball it's like a motorcycle helmet you can see through it it's crazy yeah but i also love i love how this fish is just moving so

13:27Ben Mandelker: slowly so dramatically it is kind of like a drag queen fish it's doing so much because on the one hand it sort of also looks like it's maxine in the office and she's just like so how are the kids this weekend did you get to see them you know but at the same time also a drag queen at the same time also lisa at the same time also just mike's face is it wearing culottes yeah it's got like

13:51Ronnie Karam: 100%. Looks like it has culottes. Those lips, this is a terrifying fish. I love it. Okay, good job, Luis Arena.

13:59Ben Mandelker: Well, also, you know what I love is that, like, theoretically, what we haven't really acknowledged is, like, theoretically, his fish just got done crying. It's like, did my mascara run? Please tell me my mascara didn't run. It's like, no, you look great. You look great, Maxine. I don't know.

14:11Ronnie Karam: He goes back onto the floor. Everyone's like, oh, my God, was Maxine crying?

14:15Ben Mandelker: She sure was. Listen, it was very difficult. I just learned that someone at the synagogue, they lost their mother. And I'm just feeling very sad about it right now.

14:28Ronnie Karam: Okay, then we go to this eel. We never see this whole eel. We just see it kind of bent around something. Just weird.

14:35Ben Mandelker: The eel's just waking up. It's like stretching, doing it a morning stretch. It's like, oh, God, I didn't realize I was on camera.

14:41Ronnie Karam: I was trying to trick tourist fish. It's like, look, I'm the arch in St. Louis. Come under me. Come under me.

14:53Ben Mandelker: This eel has no idea. This eel is being very dramatic doing that big arch. Why is it doing that? Because the thing is this. It's not like it's going around something. It's literally bulging its arch up. It's like it's doing calisthenics, essentially. It's like, well, ladies, if you want to keep your figure, you got to do your eel kegels.

15:10Ronnie Karam: Or it's reaching all the way behind itself to scratch its own butt. Okay. Now we have a little, what is that? A shrimp?

15:19Ben Mandelker: it's a shrimp, but it's kind of like, this is a shrimp that like, well, they're in the waters. They're, they're not, you can't get it. You can't get wet if you're in the water, but whatever the version of getting wet is, if you're a fish, like that's what happened to shrimp. Cause the shrimp is like holding his hands out. Like, oh my God, my shirt's wet. Oh my God. I need to get a towel. Does someone have a towel for me?

15:41Ronnie Karam: This shrimp is like, I'm doing a crab impersonation. I'm doing a crab impersonation.

15:46Ben Mandelker: Actually, it is a crab. It is a crab. It's a crab. We're so stupid.

15:50Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I figured that was a crab, but I said shrimp because I'm done. Okay, now we go to a turtle. This turtle's like, just stop following me. It's like there's so many things in the ocean. This is the laziest B-roll to just keep following me around. Leave me alone, okay?

16:06Ben Mandelker: Can we go back to the crab for a second? Sure. Now that we know it's a crab and not a shrimp, it sort of has a different cadence to me. Now to me, this crab is a tour guide. It's like, all right, people, we'll just keep on walking this way. Okay, this way. And we're going to show you a piece of kelp over here. I'm just going to need everyone to just walk with me. Just walk with me. Thank you so much.

16:26Ronnie Karam: I think this is an airline stewardess walking down the aisles and being like, trays down, trays down, trays down, trays down.

16:35Ben Mandelker: We will be landing soon. So I'm going to just move your seat up. Thank you so much.

16:40Ronnie Karam: Sir, did you hear me? I said trays down. Okay. Okay. I'll set it with a smile. I'm okay. You can't get fired.

16:46Ben Mandelker: Okay. You people here, you are my exit row people. Will you do a verbally ascent to helping in the case of an emergency? Okay. I need a verbal yes or no from you. I'll start with the gentleman here, sir. I'm going to need you to take out your AirPods. Thank you very much.

17:01Ronnie Karam: By the way, I always lie in that. I'm like, yes, of course I'll help. You know, I'm not going to help that thing is going to crash. I'm going to run to the back of the plane or I'm going to jump out first and be like, give me the hell out of here. Okay, turtle. Okay, no one cares about your turtle.

17:15Ben Mandelker: Oh, look at this conch. I feel like this conch is not supposed to be here. I feel like it fell from somewhere. I was like, uh, could someone help me? I can't really swim.

17:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's like I was supposed to be in Lord of the Flies, and I just got thrown down here, and now my career is over. Thanks a lot.

17:36Ben Mandelker: Could someone mow my lawn? I would do it myself, but I am basically just stuck in a shell. so do you need a little bit of help down here anyone of zebrafish zebrafish more zebrafish

17:48Ronnie Karam: um they're like oh my god do i look fat no you look thin because you're you're swimming straight so the stripes are vertical okay i'm gonna swim up oh my god you're so fat oh my god you're so bad okay you're swimming straight again god you look thin i can barely see you by the way those are the

18:03Ben Mandelker: those fish are actually called because uh dom looked this up and it's appropriate to bravo which you know we love spotting trends on bravo these fish are called magpie perches so these are magpie perches so magpies once again on bravo they also look like they're going to prison which is like very bravo themed as well uh so i feel like they're all just trying to be on trend but they don't realize that stripes are already over in the ocean because you're wearing your stripes yeah stripes are so cool and there's just a stingray just leaving yeah the stingrays had it

18:38Ronnie Karam: with us he's like fuck your fish reports i'm sick of it

18:43Ben Mandelker: unless i'm getting royalties i do not want to be included in the fish report anymore

18:46Ronnie Karam: fish report fish report fish report or fish report or fish report can i get some fish report even the fish will not date me stop gossiping you fish do your work it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

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22:04Ronnie Karam: So now, Betty and Ben, Ben and Joao are lying in the same bunk bed on the bottom bunk talking and Ben's like, let's talk about this. eddie's mustache what is that it's not shaped even it's like he went to a party shop and got

22:17Ben Mandelker: a mustache what does that mean it's true it's a very very good observation alicia says she's horny so she's gonna use her vibrator wow i wonder what horned her up and uh no it's now it's 7 a.m the next 701 a.m actually just one minute later guys and it's five hours until charter and eddie and mike are talking their cabin and mike is like where's your head at with like jenna and licia because like me and jenna went upstairs and she was like a bit upset with the messages that you were sending to licia oh god he just got out of control stop it bro eddie is doing this whole like oops he's like oh fuck oh man if she read that that would not have gone down well but fuck i don't know what i was on about oh i actually had a really good time with her being nice to I'll probably hang out with her.

23:08Ben Mandelker: I need to chat with her. Oh, no.

23:11Ronnie Karam: Now I really don't have a chance with Alicia. So now I have to pretend like I really am into Jenna again. Oh, God. So now we go to Jason in the bridge. He gets a text about the oven part, and it's out. So he's like, well, then I need a new oven ASAP then. And they're like, we will have one three days, which is nine days in America. And he's like, damn it. That doesn't even make sense.

23:38Ben Mandelker: it doesn't make sense but somehow i'm beholden to it say oh fuck man i've got tons of ovens at home but i'll see you in three days so they laugh and uh he and ellie laugh and then um uh alicia and mike walk by each other and they're like yeah everything's fine sure whatever they just bury it you know um and ben is saying like all right all right magenta poofs we'd love to start you want some food but i don't want a shit show lunch okay so what we're gonna do is have a really big shit show lunch instead because at this point i'm basing my menu around a broken oven and i'm gonna have to use every bloody induction burner every machine every last penny of the fifty thousand

24:23Ronnie Karam: dollars i spent on that wedding that i never had so uh dacy's like i want the toilet paper folded i want people wiping their ass with sharp roses i want their asses bleed and make them gorgeous house like okay geez so then um jay that's time for everybody to get here oh my gosh let's line up to greet the guests welcome ladies daisy will show you around we've got the engines going we're gonna get under why so they get the tour and the first thing they say they're like when is lunch we're really hungry and um dun dun dun it's the beginning it's the beginning of hunger bullying as men thought that.

25:05Ronnie Karam: He's like, oh my god, I think believe they're hungry.

25:09Ben Mandelker: How could it be that people who just took five flights to get to Kanoon would get on a boat and say that they're actually hungry? I can't believe it. I feel like in past seasons, they always have a little charcuterie platter set up so that people can graze when they get on the boat. Where was that?

25:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I think this time he had spring rolls, right? He had like a little canapé. to pass around. That is not enough. They need Chex Mix. They also need the charcuterie and they need the spring rolls. And, you know, it's like when you get anything, it's not free because you're paying for it. Right. But when you get there, you feel like it's free. Like when you get to a nice hotel, you're like, oh my gosh, look at all these soaps I could take. There's like three different kinds of soaps. You're like putting them in your bag just because they're free. Like, oh my God, it's a shower cap. There's a shower cap.

25:59Ronnie Karam: We're lucky. And you put that in your bag it's like you don't i think that's how you feel when you go on vacation you just want things that are around you that you can grab onto and say it's mine it's mine i'm just imagining

26:13Ben Mandelker: you're doing this at a keel store and then security stopping you sir we're gonna need you to put those soaps back on the display not a store not a store no i know but i'm imagining you just like just getting triggered like not like it's like your pavlonian response small soaps tiny

26:30Ronnie Karam: yourselves yes that's my favorite section like the target or whatever like the tiny things area where they're like oh you can get a little toothpaste it'll last you two times oh my god i want all of the brands i could try all of the toothpaste all of it you can you can have a

26:48Ben Mandelker: consumer reports moment so uh they're leaving the they're leaving the dock they're they've already left the dock and they go to release the tenders but the tenders are tangled who a metaphor or perhaps. So Joao's like, Captain, Captain, can we idle? Can we zim idle? There's a crossover between the two towing lines and we're all going to go to hell and be destroyed because you can never cross the lines. And Jason's like, sorry, can't do that right now. It's either I stop the boat or I pick up the M &M on the floor and we all know who's going to win this battle.

27:19Ronnie Karam: My favorite is Joao's reading of these lines because he's like so into it. He's like, The two low tow lines are twisted and the tenders are knocking into each other and if they knock into each other sideways they could submerge. and we could lose one or both of the tenders, and we don't have enough slack to do online. We're all going to die. Wow, he's really getting into these death monologues. I know. We're into it now. He's like, I'm a captain now. I'm going to give 110 % into the we almost died monologue of the episode.

27:48Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And meanwhile, you just see these two tenders being like, bunk, bunk, bunk. We're all going to explode and end up in the Davy Jones locker. So Mike is like, me engineering instincts kick in. And I realize I can attach this line to the other cleat. And it'll release just enough tension so we can untangle the lines. And I've got a few brains underneath all this hair. I'm like, sure, you put a rope on a different thing. Congratulations. So then the galley day walks in.

28:14Ronnie Karam: Oh, my God, he's in it.

28:17Ben Mandelker: Oh, yeah, everything's fine. We forgot to mention everything's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Ben, so I pushed for a two o 'clock lunch, but they're really hungry. Well, why don't you give them the spring rolls? Well, I'll go get them the spring rolls. But she came up to me and said, what about lunch? And what about what time? And all I said was two o 'clock lunch work. And she said, that's too late. So we're really hungry. You got to get to lunch, Ben.

28:41Ronnie Karam: Ah, so you're already letting them bully you, huh? Like out of the door, out the door. We're going to have to make you look a little more intimidating, I reckon. All right. So they're still going to do the picnic, right? I'm not worried about the time. You can't bully me with lunch. And she's like, all right, we're still doing a beach picnic. All right. well i'll shoot for 115 let's just do just tell him that tell him 115 it's like all right i'll take up the spring rolls so um he so he did not have spring rolls ready that was my bad i thought he was ready for you know that but it wasn't so he gets those ready and sends those out and ellie's like oh we've got this we're going to cross this this is what i do i give positive things to chef we're going to cross it chef it is another day one foot in front of the other baby steps baby steps

29:31Ben Mandelker: meanwhile alicia's serving drinks and mecca's like i'm so sorry i forgot your name already alicia oh she's like hi i'm mecca i'm gonna try not to get on nerves but i'm so gonna get on your nerves she's like no honestly i don't mind it's either i talk to you or talk to the man with the strange hair downstairs oh yeah yeah i'm so ready to be on service with all the drama that's happened

29:54Ronnie Karam: with Jenna, Eddie, and Mike. I just want to do the job I was hired to do. So then Joao is like, Okay, go ahead.

30:04Ben Mandelker: The job you were hired to do, you actually already failed at. But that's okay. You're doing a new job. And hopefully that will be good too.

30:10Ronnie Karam: The second job I was hired to do. All right, Joao, Joao, we're going to Celine Bay. I love her. Yeah. Far.

30:26Ben Mandelker: So, wow, focus. We're going to Celine Bay and we're going to drop the anchor. Oh, we shall drop the anchor. If you ask me to. Joao, I'm going to need you to stop doing that. We just need to get into this bay.

30:46Ronnie Karam: Okay, Joao, please.

30:52Ben Mandelker: I will try my best, Captain, to drop this anchor, but I don't know where the rest of my team is. All by myself. Don't want to be all zim myself anymore.

31:05Ronnie Karam: Wow, these spring rolls are so good. Can we have another order? Tasty's like, oh, shit. So Jenna and Alicia are working, but not talking to each other. so then the anchor drops and um the guys are asking for more snacks and it's just so below deck how they do it they're like can we get some other snacks and the music's like

31:30Ronnie Karam: bring up some chips what is so hard about this yeah that's why i'm like why do you not have just

31:36Ben Mandelker: like a platter that's ready just a grazing platter not like spring rolls a la minute so but they don't have it so ben's like uh canapes designed to wet the appetite and take a little heat off the kitchen you can't ask for more canapes because they're going to delay the lunch that kind of defeats the purpose of the darlings i was like have you ever seen me at a formal function because i stand right at that door where the caterers come out i'm like oh we'll have another one of those please i am a canapé monster you know an amuse bouche you have one and you get to have another canapes are for the people and you get as many of them as you possibly can get

32:13Ronnie Karam: yes amen well it's not my fucking fault they didn't eat breakfast order more of them and then we want lunch immediately i mean how many chefs have you got 20 i mean that's what i thought that's what i thought just make the fucking food ben jeez so daisy takes up more and they ask about rolls and she's like, well, lunch is coming, lunch is coming. So Mecca's like, Daisy can make anything happen, so we're just going to ask and you're just going to deliver. She goes, oh, let me see if I can grab you something.

32:47Ben Mandelker: So now Ben is getting all flummoxed. He's like, because now they need to get something else. He's like, well, it's going to be another eight to ten minute delay.

32:58Ben Mandelker: So then we see Mecca telling her friends, this is her thing she goes i like to see my money i like to see where my money goes um so uh that's that's like her thing it's like it's like she doesn't want crappy service so then um now it's time at long last they get lunch which is smoked salmon and capers and mascarpone and cheese and they're all very very happy and daisy and joao are discussing like this beach picnic that they're going to be doing um and eddie's going to be going to shore and um daisy wants to send jenna as well and Mike, because Mike is really good with guests, despite the fact that he's a really bad worker.

33:35Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So, yeah, I'm putting them to work. I've never seen someone who's so shit at stewardess, but good with the guests. Just send them over. Send them over, bad hair and everything. People are very charmed with bad hair on this show. So Ben and Ellie are in the galley, and he's like, do me a favor, would you, sweet tart toes? Could you grate some cheese for me? Grate some cheese. I love cheese. I love grating it. I'm so positive.

34:00Ben Mandelker: I love grating genetics. So then Daisy basically tells Mike and Jenna they're going to the beach. And she's like, I want you. Hey, Daisy. I mean, Jenna. I want you to keep an eye on how. Oh, no, Mike. Keep an eye on how Jenna serves. Compliment them. Earn your cape. So they're all going to go over there. It's time to head over to the beach, etc. The gasp are like, I'm so hungry.

34:22Ronnie Karam: I'm so hungry. Oh, my God. I'm so hungry. And the captain radios everyone. The guests are dying of hunger. They are dying. Mecca is shrinking down into a little tiny pinky size. Please get them something or they are dying.

34:38Ben Mandelker: Knock, knock. Who's there? It's your tapeworm. And I need to be fed every 20 minutes. I'm the eighth charter guest. It's fucking insane. No, they just want lunch. They just flew in and they're starving. It's a reasonable request.

34:53Ronnie Karam: And so now, beach party, beach setup So Jason comes to check on Ben And he's like, oh, I'm doing great They just asked for guacamole before lunch Sounds great Well, I asked him if they're ready to go to the beach And they said, we're waiting for lunch And I said, you just ate Well, I didn't say it, but I wanted to Well, there's loads of sandeddy Why don't they just eat the sand? Oh, that's a good one They have snacks, what's the problem?

35:21Ben Mandelker: That's all you need. He's like, yes, we're going to get fucked today. Oh, baby. I'm quickly starting to realize that working with chefs is kind of like raising a pit bull. They will absorb the energy of the person they are with. You got to make sure they're staying calm because if they're not, they will bite somebody's head off. So, so she's going to be the Ellie is going to be the calm presence for Ben. We'll see how that works out.

35:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So now we go to the beach picnic And The guest Basically they're setting up Eddie gets his finger pinched in an umbrella Aww And then Daisy and Bacool The umbrella's like

36:02Ben Mandelker: I can't get you out of my head

36:06Ronnie Karam: The umbrella's like Are you sure you like me I think you like the other umbrella He's like I ditched that other umbrella in a second To get my finger on you

36:13Ben Mandelker: Once again That umbrella has a boyfriend So um daisy and patula talking and he's like but all when you're gonna go on break she's like i don't even like to break i want to work i need to work i need to work i need to work and jason's like well you have to take a break at some point you have to do it she's like no i have to work i don't if i don't work i'm not doing my job i need to do my work i need to work i'm that close to losing my shit i need to work i need to work so basically her whole thing is like she is like wants to prove that she's capable because she had this family that destroyed her basically and basically women and her family didn't work and remember from previous episode everyone thought she was the she was the dumb one in the family so she's really trying to prove herself and so she's like desperate

36:55Ronnie Karam: to work really hard yeah i got take a break god damn it so then she has a moment where it's like the inside batool comes out and she's like ah i feel like if i don't if i take a break then that means i'm not doing well and then the other batool comes from behind her and it's like girl you're doing your best. At least you're not, at least you're trying. Please focus. It's a weird second batool.

37:21Ben Mandelker: It was like a double batool.

37:24Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Two batools. So now it's 129, 14 minutes past lunch. Alicia checks on the guests and she's like, can I get you anything? And they're like, um, we're ready to go. Is the tender here? Can we eat the tender? Can you send us an edible tender because I'm very rich and I would like to see that made.

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39:48Ben Mandelker: So then Eddie, over on the beach, Eddie and Jenna are waiting for the guests to come. So Eddie's like, so do you want to chat about the other night? She's like, I do, but I don't really have so much to say. Well, I don't really know what you just said, but I'll just keep on talking. I actually had a really nice time with you. And when we were in the hot tub, Alicia was getting all kinds of touchy feely. And it just wasn't nice on my part to text her, considering that we had kissed that night. And fuck, I was so drunk by the time I actually went to bed. I don't remember the next until the next morning.

40:15Ben Mandelker: So it's no, it's no excuse. But will you please accept it as an excuse? Thank you.

40:18Ronnie Karam: Look, this kind of felt like shit, to be honest. I don't want to be a pawn, like, between making someone jealous, but I'm not that person. But I kind of cut ties really fast. You know, it's just like I'm some kind of a pawn to make her jealous. I don't like that. You know, it's bad enough dating someone that probably uses a pawn shop to actually be a pawn. I don't like it. And then we hear the radio. It's like, oh, lunch, lunch, they're starving to death. So he apologizes and hugs her. And she's like, okay. But she tells us, I was not born yesterday. And then I'd definitely try if you had to have a boyfriend.

40:54Ronnie Karam: So I don't know how sincere the apology is.

40:58Ben Mandelker: He's like, oh, you idiot. Why have you done this to yourself? You can't fan this fire. You've just got to let this fire burn out. And of course, the fire I'm talking about is trying to flirt with a girl who don't understand a word that's coming out of her mouth. So then the guests, they get to the tender. They're heading to the beach. They get to the beach. And Micah's like, it's my time to shine. So he welcomes them all. They're like, hi, Mike, whatever. And Micah's saying, I'm a Jane of all trades.

41:26Ronnie Karam: So they are... He gets some shots. He gets some shots and he's like, by the way, ladies, you look absolutely gorgeous. And Micah's like, oh, thanks. You're like the charmer on the yacht. And he goes, oh, really? No, they're not. Oh, my God. She's saying that because you just said something that was charming-like. okay they're not hitting on you mike fuck this fucking guy so the food is basically it finally

41:54Ben Mandelker: arrives 27 minutes past lunch um and so they serve it and they're like wow this caesar salad is bussin and then jason i just want to point out that this man is crying about lunch and he can't

42:07Ronnie Karam: get it out and it's taking so long and blah blah blah it's so difficult it's a caesar salad and pasta salad. Seriously? It's not hard. Come on, man.

42:20Ben Mandelker: So Jason is asking what the menu is for tonight. He's like, you better not be slow tonight, brother. They have more expectations than what we're delivering. And if you go up there and have a chat about tonight's dinner, they have their expectations, right? So the guests finish their lunch. They're very happy now. They come back to the boat. Daisy and Lisa greet them. Everything's going nicely. Mike is telling Jenna that they liked it. And Jenna's saying she can't get a read on Mecca because it seems like she's enjoying everything. But her face says otherwise. So then ultimately, Ben and Mecca sit down with Joy also.

42:57Ben Mandelker: And they are going to talk about what the plan is for dinner.

43:01Ronnie Karam: Okay. Why are you doing this two hours before dinner? This doesn't make any sense. For a six-course dinner, now you're going to sit down. Why is Jason telling him, go ask them what they want for dinner? No, dinner is planned. It's a six-course dinner. They gave their preference sheet. You make the menu. You serve the dinner. Why is he telling them, go have a meeting two hours before dinner with Mecca and ask her what she wants? That's not how it works. It's a boat. You only have so many things on the boat. This is a class for fuck. No oven either. Yes.

43:30Ben Mandelker: So Ben's like, all right, you like ceviche, right? She's like, yes. And we love the shrimp spring rolls. Well, how about we do it with lobster? done she's then he's like all right lobster spring roll braised short rib perhaps she's like well i think the group will be divided so i love a short rib but like is there a seafood alternative do you have snappers we do have snapper she's like okay well let's have a snapper and then and then for dessert like what's something that you know we're not gonna say we don't like which i was like that's a lot of double negatives just how about say what's something you know that we're going to like for sure but either way he's like oh something i know that you're not going to like no no something that you know that we're not gonna say we're not gonna like something i don't know that you know you're

44:18Ronnie Karam: gonna like but you don't really like it no no something we don't know that we don't like i don't know what the fuck you're talking about apple pie can i just serve you apple pie and she's like um is that your best and he's like uh i don't know but yeah is it your best well i happen to know that you're a special guest is it your best because we want your best to come to the table

44:43Ben Mandelker: all right well so ben may i remind you before you commit to apple pie that your oven doesn't work

44:50Ronnie Karam: i wouldn't even saute an apple pie

44:54Ben Mandelker: i guess you could make it in a dutch oven i mean dutch ovens are called dutch ovens for a reason because you could put them like over or something. But Ben's like... You're not going to cook it by farting under a sheet, Ben.

45:07Ben Mandelker: That's true. So Mecca is like, we just want your best to come to the table. Are we overwhelming you? Is apple pie really the best you could do? He's like, well, no, I wouldn't be happy if you weren't. So he's like, this is a solid nine on the tricky scale. They don't even want apple pie. Last charter, I was just dropping the ball one very which way, and I've spoken to every charter to guess. Did it make it any better? No. Am I worried about it? Yes. Do I think they'll get through it? Probably not.

45:37Ronnie Karam: We just hear someone go, dinner better be really good. Dun, dun, dun. And that is the end of the Lick Deckdown in the old.

45:48Ben Mandelker: And, you know, I think this is where they're trying to make it be like, look at her. She's being demanding. I'm like, I think she's just asking. she's actually being very reasonable she was totally working with him she's like love that idea uh love the short rib great idea could you make something for the people who don't eat beat and he's like oh my god this is so demanding i'm like she's literally making just basic requests and she's like can you make me a really amazing dessert and you're like what about apple pie and she's like we're on a yacht can we do better he's like i don't know she's not difficult yeah they're

46:19Ronnie Karam: They're setting her up to be a huge B, but yes, it's not delivering that so far. So we'll see. It is funny just watching Ben freak out and then serving a Caesar salad and pasta salad. Like, what is going on over here? Come on, guys. That is so funny.

46:33Ben Mandelker: Well, everyone, fun times. Thanks for being here. We will catch you on the next episode of Watch What Crap Ends, and have a lovely three seconds before the next episode drops. Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

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