#3301 Below Deck Down Under S04E10: Mixed Massages

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1:50Ben Mandelker: What happens when there's so much that crap ends?

2:20Ben Mandelker: letter that good old Ronnie wrote this weekend on our Patreon. He puts effort into that guys. He writes all these paragraphs, uses lots of words. That's effort. It's a blog. You guys should read it.

2:32Ronnie Karam: Going back to the old school TV gasm days, making some bloggish.

2:37Ben Mandelker: Yeah, that's right. So go check that out. That's at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. We also have a weekly bonus episode. The rumor is that probably during this recording, the new trailer for In the City is going to drop. And so we are planning to have that be our bonus episode this week. A trailer trash of that trailer. We don't know if it's really going to happen, but if it does happen, that's what you can look forward to. That's at patreon.com slash watch what crap happens as well as craps on demand where you can watch us on video as well as ad free listening. so with all that being said first of all also thank you to everyone who came to crappy hour last night we had a really great one really great combo at the end uh with people who who joined us so thank you for tuning in for that that was wonderful anyway today we are back in the world of canoe on uh which is we all know is an island dedicated to canoes uh that win things can do on I'm married to canoeing It was the local canoes So yeah This episode is season 4 episode 10 Making enemies Where we left off Ellie and Ben Are at an impasse Where he's been calling Honey snuffles All season long And she's had it and she's been Fighting back And it looks like as far as we can tell they will never ever ever be able to put aside their differences so it looks

4:17Ronnie Karam: like this is the end for them right it's over yeah someone's going to be fired they go up to captain jason and captain jason is like listen here i'm putting my foot down by leaving this room and making you talk about it amongst yourselves i don't like to do this goodbye so he leaves and we're just waiting to see who shoots each other.

4:37Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's an unstoppable ball versus an unmovable wall. What could possibly happen? Well, I was like, well, this is the end. Someone's going to go. I have never had male supervisor call me those names. And I know you don't mean it that way, but every time you use one of those words, I feel like a lack of respect. And I feel like my value was being diminished. Like you're saying, my vegetables are no good for milk. And this man is putting me down and I need to stand my ground.

5:06Ronnie Karam: Oh, no, no, shit, no. Look, there's a British colloquialism, all right? I use it in high-pressure environments like in the galley. I always thought of it as a diffuser, you know, rather than a fuser, all right? It's not sexual harassment, it's sexual hugs. It's hugs. It's verbal hugs.

5:28Ben Mandelker: Normally, when I call someone titty scones, they like it. but it occurs to me scones really are British things. So I understand that you're not really getting it, Ellie. She's like, okay, that's right, that's okay. I mean, the last thing that I would do, I, you know, I just, you know, I thought you were a great help, but you are still a great help. You just wanted to be shown respect, and I get that, Sirip Lobs.

5:50Ronnie Karam: That is all, and I got there. You know, I just want you to stay. I want you to be good, Nugget Mies. You know, that's all.

5:58Ben Mandelker: Well, yes, I want to stay. I want to finish it together. I think we have a good thing going. Well, I want to be approachable. And honestly, and if you notice, I know I haven't slipped up once today. I haven't not once called you butter loaves. I haven't once called you mushy lumps. You know, I'm really conscious of it. So, you know, you have to have a sort of a swear jar, darling. I was thinking like, I don't know, a honeypot or something like that.

6:25Ronnie Karam: Oh, honeypot. Yes, sounds good. Yes, I've been honeypot before. This was one of my jobs. I got many, many spies. So he's like, all right, deal. So Ellie's like, you know, I'm kind of embarrassed now. I allowed myself to lose my cool. But, you know, I'm in it to win it. And if I can manage to bend personality, oh, wow. There's nothing I cannot do. Watch out, Putin. So...

6:52Ben Mandelker: I hate it. I'm so embarrassed for losing my cool. Thank God I will absolutely not lose my cool four or five more times this episode.

7:00Ronnie Karam: With a man. I think this is the beginning of beautiful relationship. So he's like, well, you did scare the shit out of me. I'm not going to lie. She's like, yes, well, I scared the shit out of me as well. How about that? I can even scare me. This is how sensitive I am. Okay, I'm going back to this voice now. Hello, chef. Hello. It's me, Nicely. I'm going to use this voice for the rest of episode. Would you like massage? I want my cute cake.

7:33Ben Mandelker: So Jason's like, so how's it going today? You guys all working out? Did you guys find my secret session of M &M's? Please, God, Lord, tell me you didn't. She's like, that's good. We worked through it and I know we can continue this season without any tension. He's like, okay, good. You know, it's a shitload of work and I can't do it without all you guys. And I definitely can't do it without food, specifically M &M's. So I'm going to have to ask you guys to leave the cabin so that way Ollie can get down to snacking.

8:00Ronnie Karam: So now everybody's cleaning. That's done. That's done and over. So it's clean. And Yali and Ben even make a toast. They drink. And Jason reads the comment cards and they get two stars for cleanliness and comfort, which, you know, blame the panty liner. Panty liner. And also blame Mike and his crazy Olympic torch haircut. so Alicia

8:27Ben Mandelker: honestly she's like we see her and she's she's soaking some things washing machines are on and everything and Jenna holds up this it's like a rainbow penis that the guest gave her this guy Mark was like Jenna please have this rainbow penis she's like look at Tess I got a gift they gave me a rainbow penis and Alicia's like why do you get all the best gifts and I get all the shit ones cause they actually like me so they like are joking they're fighting over the penis it's funny yada yada yada you think nothing of it but this becomes one of the most enraging props uh over the course of the episode because the principle of what happens is it really it really gets me ronnie i don't know if you were affected the same way i was but by the end of the episode i was like if she fucking takes that penis thing one more fucking time i swear to god i'm gonna i'm gonna call up hr well they're fighting

9:20Ronnie Karam: over a penis and that's what the episode is fighting over dick so it's crazy that it all kind of thematically works out that way that's true so daisy's like girls can you start sorting through this please like okay well uh well i'm gonna kiss the penis so she's like oh my god i'm gonna go down for laundry so now joanne daisy are in the crew mess laundry room area and uh late daisy sees that nothing was done right down there she's like god like for fuck's sake that's this this fucks me off so much like i don't fucking come to that you don't have a uniform and you're you're fucking hoarding it oh my god it's not okay and she was like

10:05Ben Mandelker: yeah by the way i love that we don't even know the context of this like we never saw anything about someone complaining that they don't have a uniform it's just like it's just some other piece of shit that's happening in daisy's life that they didn't even bother to like you know what the audience will get it they understand what's happening she's just complaining and and joao sitting there eating lamb chops or something and he's like so funny watching you deal with laundry a l l that's him and so daisy's like what are you giggling at you're not gonna tell me he's like i'm sorry no i do like daisy there's no doubt about it she's beautiful you know she's very sweet she's kind she's protective i love her accent she's very irish i think that there's a ton of chemistry that we are trying to figure out without making it obvious to each other it's holding your cards close so you can don't get disappointed but i can't help but be but but feel drawn towards her

10:55Ronnie Karam: so i'm in zim love oh god yeah we'll see we know how joao is with women so let's see how this goes so bason calls the crew for the tip meeting and um he sees ben wearing a robe ben just doesn't

11:09Ben Mandelker: give a fuck man which i think ben took a shower in the guest quarters i think that's his room

11:14Ronnie Karam: i don't think he's ever slept in his room has he on the once the guests leave no i don't think so he just sleeps in the guest quarters yeah crazy all right well i just want you to know granddad ben all right the galley situation we had a good talk about that by we i mean they as i ate little talking balls of joy. All right? That green one truly does make you horny. All right? But I had a good talk. All right, but I won't tolerate this again from anyone. We need to work together. We need to support each other. I'm selling kimonos. How many people have ponied up$400 to buy one? Nobody? I don't feel supported.

11:54Ronnie Karam: I'm leaving. Thank you. That's all. You're dismissed.

11:59Ben Mandelker: Well, I looked through the reviews and see that there's some housekeeping issues. So the helmet, I'm going to give it to someone in housekeeping. But obviously the leader hasn't stopped. I've seen Daisy going all around. So I'm going to give it to the second in charge of housekeeping. And it's going to be Jenna. So Jenna gets it, which feels a little bit unfair. And Jason's like, I just want to be a statement.

12:19Ronnie Karam: Alicia should have gotten it again because she didn't wear it last week. So she should do it until she does it right.

12:25Ben Mandelker: Really? Mike should have. Well, Mike already had it. I think he likes to spread it around, but Mike should have gotten it too. although Alicia could have gotten it for the fact that she left a towel in the drawer last week and we all still remember it was horrifying so Jason's like I want the crew to step up take some leadership take some work off the department so then Jenna's like I mean how can you wait take me seriously with this bloody hat on though I'm like we stopped taking you seriously the moment you said that you were going to go back to Eddie so let's be honest here

12:56Ronnie Karam: we're here to grow we're here to expand and we can do it. Daisy's like, there is zero reason for us to be making these mistakes. You know, this is pretty fucking simple. Alright, well, the tip for this chart is 22 grand. So, this is pretty hefty. Well done, guys. Alright, thank you. Interior team, let's have a quick meeting about what's going on. So, now the interior team has to have their own meeting, and she's like, alright, listen, there were huge gaps, the housekeeping stuff, I mean, there was a lot going on, and when I'm not around, Jenna is in charge. And she's like, what do you want to do?

13:38Ben Mandelker: What's that? So then...

13:44What?

13:50Ben Mandelker: Marika's like, Gina, you're wearing the doomscape this week? I don't really fancy taking orders from you at the moment. I'm like, it's not... it's it's not your choice daisy literally just said if i'm not around you have to listen to jenna you don't get to you don't have that option she's wearing the dunce cap because of your inadequate ass you idiot and the fact that you already got it and captain jason wants to give it to new people every week otherwise it would be squarely on your big hairy head

14:18Ronnie Karam: there's also nothing that reads dunce cap more than that helmet that you've aqua netted on top of your scalp with like ball hair that you have implanted from uh turkey so please you're comb

14:31Ben Mandelker: forward so back in the crew mess ellie and joe are talking and she's like hello how are you he's like i'm zim good okay then i have another question question number two i love it question number one is how are you like it out yeah and she has like her hands behind her back like she's about to offer him a snack and he's like yes ma 'am uh would you like a massage he's like um yeah yes you know my way of winning over a man is with my massage the richest person in russia i'm not allowed to say the names but they have in the eyes i was his personal massage therapist so i take a lot of pride in my massage skills also i was so good he gave me free milk so that was a lot for me.

15:15Ronnie Karam: I'll bet. I'll bet you take great pride in those massage skills. I know. So we go to Alicia hiding the rainbow penis in her bed. Dun dun dun. The rainbow penis war has begun. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. Did you

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18:43Ronnie Karam: Code CRAPINS. So now Ellie walks into Joao's room and she's like, Okay, I will set up a massage table or you set it up. You're a man, big, strong man. Woman needs man to set up a massage table. Weirding flower. And he's like, okay. I'm lacking this attention from Ellie. I wish it was from Daisy. I don't want to say that in public. But I don't want to ask her directly because, you know, I don't want to beat around the bush, but she's a no bullshit kind of person. And I think that if I were to ask her, the walls would go even further up and she'll shut off from me. But in the meantime, who's going to say no to a freezamsage?

19:23Ben Mandelker: Okay, so he's putting it on Daisy. And he's going to tell everyone he likes Daisy, but he's not going to tell Daisy herself. And then Daisy's going to be like, what the fuck? He's going to be like, well, it's because of you because you've had walls up. I don't know. It sounds like a big manipulation already in the works. Yeah. So then we cut to Jenna and Daisy in their cabin and Jenna's like, I suppose you asked that I think you liked it. She's like, what was that, Jenna? I just like you. I don't know what you're saying. Joelle likes you. Okay, I'll just say yes. And go, okay.

19:56Ronnie Karam: She's saying, Yeah, I think Joelle liked you And so then we see a flashback to last night When Joelle and Jenna were talking And he's like, well, you know, me and Daisy She's like, have you ever thought about it? He's like, well, I do like her She's like, that's hot, that's hot And so now Daisy's like Well, I'm not being here for drama Ellie and Joelle, you know, they're having fun You know, they're kind of full on

20:22Ben Mandelker: You're such a good girl She's like, well, I'm really here just to work It's like, well, Ellie has no capacity to everything around the bush. She's definitely giving himself a good one. I don't know what you said, but, you know, fair game to her. Talk about, you know, getting what you want. It's like, yeah, what do you want? So the producer's like, how are you feeling about Ellie giving Joao this private massage? She's like, well, yeah, I'm not going to, like, sit here and be like, oh, well, you know, like, I haven't had a chance to really speak to Joao all week, you know, all season, obviously.

20:48Ben Mandelker: I mean, Ellie is a little bit of a shark, and I guess I'm just not really like that. I'm a bit of a slow burner.

20:54Ronnie Karam: I mean, when you fuck with me, I'll slowly burn all of your things. And they ask if she's jealous. And she's like, do I seem jealous? No, I don't feel jealous. And she doesn't seem jealous because I don't think her thing with Joao is really real anyway. I think they're both like, well, we're on TV. People are supposed to hook up. You want to hook up? I don't know. You want to hook up? I mean, maybe. Let's talk about it later. I'm getting that kind of vibe from Daisy and Joao.

21:21Ben Mandelker: Daisy's seen these shows and she knows what Joao is all about. She's like, whatever. It's like, if I get horny enough that I need to have some action, maybe I'll hit up Joao. But for right now, I'm just going to shammy surfaces and just try to sleep.

21:36Ronnie Karam: Listen, there are things worth fighting over. Like property taxes, fight those. You know, when they raise them every year, you fight those. Or when you get a traffic ticket, you should go and hope the cop doesn't show up. Like there's things that are worth fighting for. Some used, you know, dick. you know some some used slimy disrespectful dick is not the thing to fight over and i think daisy's smart enough to know that yeah so daisy's like i mean they could be having full blown sex

22:06Ben Mandelker: what do you mean of course they are shut up do i think they are 100 really yeah 100

22:13Ronnie Karam: so then and who else i mean who doubts it we've all seen the internet we've seen porn like i mean This is clearly a porn setup.

22:22Ben Mandelker: Yeah, this is like a pretty, like, oh, wow. Like, just an out-of-the-blue massage.

22:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah, the OnlyFans victim, not victim, sorry. The OnlyFans vixen telling you to get naked on a table is generally a setup in porn.

22:37Ben Mandelker: Do you think that they had a previous conversation where he was like, oh, I could really use a massage. Oh, my back is so sore. And she said, oh, I'm a licensed massage therapist, whatever. He's like, oh, you know, I could, you know, like, oh, you may have to show me your craft. Like, I wonder if there was ever a scene like that that happened that we're not getting. Because it is just so random that like Ellie just walks into the crew mess. It's like, I would like to give you a massage now. And he's like, um, okay.

23:02Ronnie Karam: I wouldn't be surprised if the scene we hadn't seen was her saying, I give good massage. You want massage? Well, tell me when you want massage. One day you're going to get massage. One day. Kind of like last week when she was like, what's your favorite cheesecake? Lemon meringue. oh i keep that in back pocket oh then i sat down i had lemon meringue on my ass so i i think that's just one of her tricks yeah so uh now she's massaging joao i'm just like oh

23:30Ben Mandelker: do you do lots of squats he's like no i do lots of zim squats so he's like what is also you do dead leaves he's like no this but this this feels amazing ha ha zim amazing so daisy is like if joao did like me at all this whole situation has hurt me off so much which is funny because that's what i feel like the women on below deck always say including jenna this season and then they still they still are like yeah i'm gonna go after the guy mainly because there's no options so i feel really bad left yeah but the like i i hate that like i hate for the women of below deck that they have that they make these public stances which i fully believe that they believe but that because of the situation they just there's so few options for them to get satisfaction that they just have to they just have to go back to these men who are awful to them i just don't like how they all

24:26Ronnie Karam: it seems to be like standing around at a party when orders are being passed and you don't want to seem like a food addict. So you're just waiting for them to come close to you and just hoping that something good comes along and then just taking whatever comes. It's like, I don't eat tuna tartare, but it's here. I'll take it, I guess. I mean, I don't know. And the guys meanwhile are chasing around the waiters and eating everything off of the tray because it's free.

24:52Ben Mandelker: But I get it. How many times do I proclaim, you know what? I've got to start eating healthier. I've got to eat some lower cholesterol things. And the next thing you know, I'm like in my freezer eating ice cream. So like a certain point, you just crumble to temptation despite knowing what's good for you.

25:13Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Yeah. So then Ellie's like, wait, it's your birthday. It's been five days. Oh, so this is your birthday massage. You're going to get another one later on, Mr. Mr. Deadlift. It's like, I do not work out ever at all. oh he can't lie to me so jenna's like well i don't think he likes that i just think she's available to him and made that very clear from the start which yeah is true and and guys you know you guys have this reputation but especially guys on this season my god it's like whatever's there take it so ellie finishes her massage um cleans up joao with a towel flushes some towels and uh It's like, oh, thank you.

26:02Ronnie Karam: But no, she didn't. She didn't. She didn't make a move. Yeah. She didn't. She didn't bang him.

26:08Ben Mandelker: Yeah. She's like, I'm hoping we have a chance after party to, you know, get to know each other a bit better. He's like, yes. Well, I'm sure that we zim will. So now we cut to Daisy and Ellie in their cabin later. And Daisy's like, how did your massage go? And she's like, it went really well. We had nice time. because, by the way, Daisy also knows that if she were to now go after Joao after Ellie has been there, she's like, I'll get stopped in the face. So now we see a little bit later Joao and Daisy are there by the bar on the boat and Joao is like, all good? She's like, yes, how are you? I'm feeling relaxed.

26:48It's like, okay,

26:49Ben Mandelker: that's great to hear.

26:50Ronnie Karam: I'm sure you're feeling relaxed. Was the massage good? It was very good. You look lovely. You look lovely as well. She's like, thank you. Thank you. You goddamn fuck. So now people are going out, so they're going to the vans and stuff. And Alicia is asking Jenna, like, where's your helmet? Excuse me, Miss, I didn't wear a helmet. Keep your helmet judgment to yourself. You're not allowed to ask.

27:18Ben Mandelker: Exactly. Alicia, I've said it before. I'll say it again. Alicia really sucks this season. so now um we uh people are in their vans and everything and ben's decided he's not going to go out because well because the situation with with uh with ellie i want to give her a little bit of space so he's gonna stay back with jason and hang out yeah so then uh in one of the cars

27:43Ronnie Karam: jenna ellie batool and alicia are in that car and jenna's like uh how's the massage and ellie says awesome like did it go further oh you didn't even kiss him she's like no we're easing into it easing into it i'm trying to get the deadlifts in his mind so maybe he starts working out a little bit well you kiss him tonight she's like maybe i'm open to it and alicia's like i'm so for it kiss you out kiss you out kiss him kiss him which is what i always say to people before i try to make

28:15Ben Mandelker: out with the person they like yeah well you know it's the second coming of gizzy so then uh we have jason and ben and they're making a cheese board together they're also like wearing uh like jason's like in a kimono and he's like oh get changed and ben's like no don't get changed i'm gonna match you so he's like in his robe or whatever they're basically having like a hugh hefner moment on the

28:40Ronnie Karam: boat like this is also kind of the beginning of a porn scene because jason's robe is not a normal robe i mean he's in a jason kimono which is like he's hanging all out of that thing it's like just me you man being man making big steaks and all manly robes i'm like please put your nuts away

28:57Ben Mandelker: i'm trying to concentrate on the steak sir i bet jason thought he was uh he was getting something special that night because he's like well ship is staying in i'm gonna get my own gourmet meal but Then Ben made Jason make the steaks.

29:15Ronnie Karam: So we go to the crew having dinner, and Alicia is smoking and stuff. And she's like, should I move, though? If I'm smoking it, it bothers you. And they're like, no, it's all right. And Joelle's like, yeah, fuck off. Just joking. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She's like, you're so funny, Joelle. And he goes, oh, I love sarcasm. Thank you. So they clink glasses. This is where she starts rubbing.

29:38Ben Mandelker: Yes.

29:38Ronnie Karam: She starts rubbing her beer bottle against his beer bottle. She's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, it's some flirting on with Joao.

29:47Ben Mandelker: It's being it's flirty. It's flirty. It's one of those things where she could reasonably say, I wasn't being flirty. He's a friend of mine. We're just being jokey. But I think it landed on all of our radars as that feels flirty. And especially since she already she already kind of went down this path with Eddie. like I think she used up all of her not flirting capital. So people are going to suspect the worst out of her because she already went down this path. Whether she is being purely platonic or not.

30:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So she's like doing the rubby thing with the beer bottle and then she says tits, clits and everything in between. Come on guys, we have to do it together. So they all clink together. So now Eddie is sitting next to Jenna. And by the way, Alicia gets drunk every time really quickly. And this is when the flirting starts. It's like after a couple of drinks, you see her eyes change. They get a little red and then she's like a little flirt monster. Yeah.

30:45Ben Mandelker: So Eddie is just asking Jenna what her parents were. She's like, I don't know. My parents are really traditional. They were like preschool children pastors. So we always got up in Sunday school. And they start talking about how they went to church. Like, well, I went to church. I went to church. I went to church a lot. I went to church a lot. and that's like they they like connect over that and she's like us christians i don't know bought up with similar models of values loyalty and honesty and forgiveness as opposed to all of us non-christians who are told never be loyal never be honest and never forgive yeah i remember

31:17Ronnie Karam: one time i said i was like church is stupid i don't want to go and my meanwhile was like you better go that's where we learn morals and i was like well what do you mean other people have morals go oh really then without the bible how are you going to know not to murder people i was like well i would hope we would be able to come to that ourselves but i don't know

31:39Ben Mandelker: auntie ronnie can you teach me about loyalty i don't know what that means i'm sorry

31:46Ronnie Karam: moses taught it all right now have a seat young man so eddie uh she's like uh eddie's working on and honesty, Ben, I'm working on forgiveness. So then we cut to Jason and Ben cooking together, and Ben's like, oh, I'm so glad to be spending the evening with Jason, you know. This charter's been riddled with animosity for me, and I'm really up against it. This is what I need right now. He's like a very tall master Yoda. I need more friends like this at the end of the day, you know. Finally, a man who doesn't mind me calling them licorice loaves.

32:23Ben Mandelker: captain jason's like geez i hope this is the last time that ben stays over on the deck god what a what a drag smells like cigarettes and bees all night long couldn't even get to my aminems so the crew's still at dinner and joao's talking to daisy now he's like i love you being the bad cop because i look so great especially to mike mike is so you know she's like i know say am i the bad cop and alicia's like yeah jenna's the bad cop like no i'm trying to make her softer i'm like don't go in too hard on the juniors and then elisa's like i don't like being called a junior because i earned my metaphorical stripes she was like you're one striped elisa yeah your metaphor by way your metaphorical stripes guess what they are not on your shoulder okay we need the physical stripes before you say you earned anything yeah you're one stripe

33:12Ronnie Karam: so elisa's all offended and she's like i'm doing a lot to take abuse from someone else being younger and in charge, you know? Daisy's like, I know it's not easy, but she deserves that you've done nothing with your life.

33:25Ben Mandelker: I love Daisy. Just be like, you're one drop. Like, don't even try to pull this metaphorical stripe. You've literally, Elise has literally not even earned half of a metaphorical stripe. I'm sorry. She is fucking up left and right. Is she better than Mike? Yes, but that doesn't mean that she therefore has earned like a second stripe by any means. It's crazy that she would even think

33:48Ronnie Karam: that yeah she's like strep she's one strep yeah daisy uh strep daisy's really good this episode of just calling everybody out i love it i love it because later she does it with ellie too and it was glorious so they leave dinner they go to the next spot and uh order drinks and start dancing and stuff and eddie's dancing with jenna he's like your boobs look good i learned that in youth group and then Alicia pulls him away and she's like, oh, I need to talk to you. So she pulls him from Jenna and she's like, you better shake your ass, bitch and starts twerking all over him. God, the white girl twerk.

34:26Ronnie Karam: I can't.

34:26Ben Mandelker: I know, it's rough. And they're both dancing. They're like just two floppy pieces of seaweed in the current.

34:34Ronnie Karam: And it's like sexy dancing, you know? It's like she's twerking up against his dick and stuff and Jenna's like, oh my God, it's that for certain.

34:42Ben Mandelker: yeah it's um if if like even if she's thinking well he's my friend we're just having goofy dancing especially with eddie where you have like a text message history um it's a little like hmm and especially like if you've just had this whole conversation with your boyfriend and been like i maybe crossed the line i'm not gonna do it again i just don't think i would even really try to dance in a suggestive way. I'm not coming from a prudish place. I just think that you can't call your boyfriend and be like, oh, sorry. And then you go back and you do it again. And then on top of the fact that you were just encouraging Jenna to kiss Eddie, if you really want Jenna to kiss Eddie, you're just not going to do anything that could be misconstrued as a distraction.

35:26Ben Mandelker: You're going to want your girlfriend to have as much time with the guy that you want her to kiss with. You're not going to cut in at all.

35:33Ronnie Karam: You're putting too much thought into this. Alicia knows exactly what she's doing. She walked right up to Jenna and Eddie while they were dancing and pulled him away. And was like, come to me. And started twerking on his dick. I mean, she's being ridiculous. She's so transparent in what she's doing. And she's doing it on purpose. It's like she has to win every guy on the boat and have everybody be attracted to her. And it's sad. But also, what's sad is that guys are such idiots. And they do it every time. It's like they fall for it every fucking time. And that's why there are such things as honeypots, because men are stupid.

36:09Ronnie Karam: You can bring down the most powerful man in the world by rubbing your vagina up against him.

36:15Ben Mandelker: I would actually push back and say it's not that they fall for it. It's that they are just so passive and they're just so happy to get female attention that they just go along with it because they don't think about consequences. and they also know that the girls are probably going to come back to them anyway. And I think that's what's really so infuriating. Like we talk about like, well, the girl, it sucks for the girls because they get disrespected, but they also, you know, they have needs as well. And so they have to sort of go back to these guys, but it's just so annoying that the guys know that they have, they're in that position.

36:50And so they're like, whatever, I'll do this with Alicia,

36:53Ben Mandelker: even though I'm trying to show that I really like Jenna, who cares? I know that I, she'll probably come back to me. So I'm just going to do this. I just hate that.

37:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So Jenna's annoyed. So she walks away and she's telling Daisy she's frustrated with Eddie. And then back to Alicia and Jenna. Alicia is like, why are you trying to fuck with Jenna, Eddie? Oh, no, this is Alicia and Eddie. She's like, why are you trying to fuck with Jenna, Eddie? And he's like, well, I just like her. And she goes, no, you don't. You don't. So here, Alicia, gross.

37:28Ben Mandelker: Up to this point, Alicia could still try to say, like, I was just dancing with him as a friend. But you cannot be sitting there in that van and telling Jenna to kiss Eddie. And then you're telling Eddie, you don't like Jenna.

37:42Ronnie Karam: I'm like, you are a bad friend. Sorry. She's not even a friend. She's a snake. So Jenna's like, well, Eddie and I were talking the entire night. We were trying ourselves. And Alicia's been talking to him. and Ollie's like, I'm sorry, I've noticed this and it is not right. It is not right. So back to Alicia, she's like, you need someone else other than her. And he's like, what if I like someone I go full in? And she's like, it'll never work. It'll never work.

38:12Ben Mandelker: So then they're, yeah, they're watching and Jenna's like, is it just for attention? She's like, it starts at dinner. Because if you notice with Joelle, he moved over, you know, she moved over to Eddie. Because by the way, Ellie, when Alicia and Joao were like rubbing beer bottles together. Ellie was watching like, oh, that's interesting because he was about to rub beer bottles with me. Like that was her look like, oh,

38:37Ronnie Karam: so now she's trying to give massage with beer bottle? Oh, nice way, honey.

38:43Ben Mandelker: So she is not liking Alicia right now. And Alicia is telling Eddie, it's you and me against the world. I'm like, what are you talking about? You are so privileged. The world is not against you. So Jenna is like, well, it's whoever she finds most of Apple at the time. It's like, Alicia seems to have obsession with getting male attention. You know, like she, there's, there's a Pikmi.

39:05Ronnie Karam: You're not wrong, but you're also Ellie. I know.

39:08Ben Mandelker: There's Pikmi and then there's Alicia. Pikmi-sia. Anyway, who wants massage? Who wants massage?

39:19Ronnie Karam: Yeah, don't throw oil when you live in a massage table house. You know what I mean, Ellie? But you're right. You're right. But you're awful.

39:28Ben Mandelker: Don't throw aromatherapy jars when you live in a massage envy house.

39:36Ronnie Karam: But I just don't understand where the backstabbing comes from. She's like, pick me, pick me. She just picked me. Like, yeah, but you have a boyfriend. Whatever. Let's go party without them. So now Joao is dancing with Ellie and Mike walks by and he's like, Joao, it has to be you, brother. It has to be you. You've got it in the bag. Get that kissing. Get it in. You've got the dare. You've got it. I'm just going to stand here and jerk off while you do it. Kiss her. Kiss her good. Kiss her real good.

40:04Ben Mandelker: I know, but I like Daisy. Oh my God, did I just tell the most gossipy person on the boat and I hope it does not get back to Daisy. That would be absolutely terrible.

40:13Ronnie Karam: Oh, Drow. What would you like? You can't play Twister and have your hand on three different colours. Come on now. Actually, yes, you can. That's how you play Twister. You have your hands on different colors, your feet on different colors. Mike, clearly you're such a creep that no one will even play Twister with you.

40:29Ben Mandelker: I know. Take that. I hate Twister. I hate Twister so much. I don't want to play a game where I have to like. I can barely fucking touch my toes.

40:38Ronnie Karam: I drop something and I have learned to pick it up with my feet because that's how bad I am at bending down. I'm not playing Twister.

40:45Ben Mandelker: It just takes up so much floor space. Twister is getting out of bed. Yeah. So, God, I have not played Twister in years. Jeez. I'm like, maybe I should play that again. That's kind of a fun game. I take it back. I'm so sorry, Twister. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Spring is giving fresh start vibes. Like suddenly you want to open the windows and drink more water and maybe act like you have your life together. there. But when dinner rolls around and you're this close to ordering takeout again, ButcherBox can help. They deliver premium, clean protein straight to your door. No antibiotics, no added hormones, no mystery ingredients, just real food that actually fuels your body instead of slowing it down.

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44:02Ben Mandelker: So Jenna and Eddie are talking, and Eddie is like, you annoyed at me now? She's like, yeah, I am. She's like, but what have I done? Oh, God, please, just throw this guy overboard. She's like, what do you mean what have you done? Since you've been here, I haven't even danced with you. Which, I like that. It feels very much like middle school. Like, I haven't even danced with you. But the truth is, she has a legitimate complaint here.

44:25Ronnie Karam: oh my god it's this children so he's like can we go outside and talk like no so now they're all leaving the girls go in one car and the boys go in another car of course with alicia so um eddie's like guys i'm in this shit again and jenna's crying with the girls and she's like i just don't want to be in a competition with any of my girls and why am i a pussy i don't even have to feel emotional of such an average man, fucking idiot. He has a mole. He has a mole.

44:56Ben Mandelker: You know, like, Jenna's story is actually low-key one of the saddest of the season because she came on this boat being like, I just want to be up on the deck and, like, meet a rich guy who's going to, like, you know, want to take me and bring me to Paris and I'm going to live the high life. Like, she came onto this boat thinking she was going to find her JFK Jr. and be, like, plucked out of obscurity and, like, be brought into the high life and be like improve her station in life and now here she is just hoping to get a shred of attention from a lowly deckhand who like sometimes pays attention to her and it's just and ben she's

45:34Ronnie Karam: like was you know flirting with ben too and it's like there's your dream that's your that's your plan to like move up is a drunk you know rosacea you know bleary bloated ben like come on and then she can't even get either one of them and it's sad it's like what kind of world is this when you're drop dead i mean drop dead gorgeous and funny and you're this is what you're dealing with like what's the point yeah i'll just seriously i'll just stay mediocre like what's even the point So Alicia pulls Joao aside. So, okay. So Joao, they get back to the boat. And Joao is kind of walking with Ellie. And Ellie thinks she's about to pounce on Joao and make babies, basically.

46:19Ronnie Karam: So she's ready. And we can see she's ready. So they're walking. And then Alicia sees this. So she pulls Joao away. And she's like, Joao, you and I need to have a conversation. Yeah, come over here. And he's like, what? And I was like. come on, come over here. So she keeps him on the dock. Yeah, and she's like,

46:40Ben Mandelker: you and I, we have to have a conversation because I genuinely thought, just give me two seconds, I need to ask a very quick question. Okay, are you trying to pull tonight? He's like, who? Ellie. Is that what you want to ask? Because if you're not interested, I just want to know what's going on. And he's like, well, so you pulled me here to talk about that? Well, she came out of the taxi and saw us having a chat and was disappointed. I'm like, what are you trying to ask about, Alicia? Are you saying that you're interested? Are you trying to find out for Daisy? I didn't understand what her endgame was, except to kind of just cock block.

47:15Ronnie Karam: Yeah, or flirt or make him think that she likes him or something. Because she's like, yeah, I mean, look, she's mad that I'm talking to you. So obviously something's going on. Or like, do you like me? She's ridiculous. So Eddie goes through the boat and he's like, I don't know what I've done wrong. and then he goes to his cabin and starts crying on the shut up eddie you don't know what you're gonna fucking cry now give me a break it's like i'm all for a bit of fun banter but when you start

47:42Ben Mandelker: hurting people's feelings that's not fun anymore and that's not fun for anyone and seeing jenna who i care about upset that just makes me feel like a dick because you are a dick yeah you know

47:51Ronnie Karam: it's not fun for anyone us watching this how many times have you done the same thing now cut the shit yeah oh my god so um now he's crying and then ellie ellie walks out to the deck to check because she's mad you know she's like what is this alicia doing with my man so she's like looking over the side and check are they still having chats what is happening so then we go back to alicia and she's like you and your fucking you you and fucking what's her face i mean let's talk about he goes fucking what's her face is not really the most appropriate thing to say she's like you and ellie then he's like i'm tired let's go in come on let's go and now he's like fucking ridiculous this is fucking ridiculous i'm going back so she just goes inside all pissed

48:35Ben Mandelker: yeah and then she texts joelle i hope you at least had great time tonight so he's like yeah oh sorry it was weird let's talk tomorrow um so and he's more than happy by the way he's more than happy to send that message to ellie that he's not that interested in her i mean that's I think also why he engaged with her so long. Cause if Joao was really interested in Ellie, I guarantee he would have been like, Oh, I can't talk right now. Alicia, he would have gone after Ellie. We've seen this a million times before. It's not his first time on the show. So he was more than happy to have, you know, Alicia to sort of talk to and hide away from Ellie about.

49:12Ben Mandelker: But, um, so when he says, let's talk tomorrow, I'm assuming he's going to basically tell Ellie. Yeah. So just, you know, I really appreciate the massage and everything. I think you're a great girl. I'm just not feeling it. But like, of course, why would I ever think that Joao would do the mature thing?

49:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah, never. So now it's the next morning, 5, 11 a.m. And Eddie is texting Jenna and he's like, are you okay? I went to bed crying last night. Oh, fuck off, man. So she writes back, can we talk? So she goes to his room and lays in bed and they start cuddling. It's like, you're so dramatic. It's okay, but I can try again.

49:47Ben Mandelker: I'm so disappointed in this. She just goes right back in there. I definitely do have a weak spot for Eddie but I do feel like Eddie is manipulated by Alicia and if she was taken out of the equation he would be acting a lot differently so yeah I'm happy I'm like no don't like don't give him that pass he's being manipulated by Alicia no no no Alicia is being shitty in this situation but he's being shitty of his own will as well

50:12Ronnie Karam: yeah and there's going to be a lot of Alicias in the world I mean not for Eddie probably he's pretty mid but in general like there are a lot of Alicias is in the world there's always going to be someone there to like try try something you need to be with someone who is not gonna just jump on anything that gives him the chance that's the whole point like it doesn't matter that alicia sucks like have some more brains jenna for fuck's sake so now uh seven and mike and eddie are in the cabin and mike's sitting and taking a poo basically and opens the door to start talking to don't he's just so gross like everything about this fucking guy is just disgusting i don't need your poop particles floating out at me sir you're gross enough as it is i'm dealing with your aquanet particles now i've got to get your poop particles

50:58Ben Mandelker: in my lungs close the fucking door i i can only imagine who are the sad souls who are subscribed to his only fans so the guess what i need to tell you joel said to me last night i like daisy i went what where's that coming from okay and he's like that's like it he's like i'm opening the door to let Eddie know that Joao likes Daisy. So Ellie is putting away the massage table from last night and she runs into Alicia in the hall and Alicia's like, hi Ellie, you okay? She's like, I'm okay. Thanks Alicia. I appreciate it. He's like, what's up doll? Have I done something to upset you? She goes, um, a little bit.

51:34Ben Mandelker: I just felt like your behavior yesterday. You were in the van hyping me up about Joao and then you be lied for him yesterday, last night. She's like, but I was just chatting with him. Okay, that's awesome. And you just keep doing that. You're so disrespectful I thought to the girls, you're so inconsiderate to everybody outside of yourself. You're the only person you think of is yourself. You have no consideration for anybody else. You're just awful. And if you were selling vegetables at the street, I would not buy them for you. And you would have no milk tonight.

52:00Ronnie Karam: You're a potato. You're plentiful, but no one wants to eat you anymore. So Ellie walks away and she's like, Alicia, not girl's girl. She literally ruined everyone's night last night. And somebody has to say something. So Mike has overheard this. You just see Mike stalking in a doorway, like, listening to this, like, listening to this whole argument. And finally, he comes out of hiding. And he's like, what just happened? She says, I was just chatting to Joao after we got out the taxi. Yeah, about Ellie trying to start shit, Alicia. Come on. And he's like, that was it. Joao came to me and said, I don't like Ellie.

52:37Ronnie Karam: I like Daisy. What about that? What about that? I know what happened because I remember jerking off to it the whole time. It came. It came.

52:45Ben Mandelker: actually she can go fuck herself if they were really gonna have a thing they would have already had a thing by now but she was not into her she's made an enemy now like oh wow made an enemy i'm like alicia you know what like if you think that you are the scary one here because you're now in enemy status i just want to say like good luck good luck against ellie because she ellie brought ben down okay like she she destroyed ben and no one in the history below doc has ever been able to do it the way Ellie has. So I would be more concerned for you than for Ellie in this case.

53:19Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So Alicia's cleaning cabins and Jenna comes in. She's like, everything going okay? She's like, well, like Ellie just came in and had a go at me. She said, you're not a girl's girl and all you do is think about yourself and I'm just like, go fuck yourself. She's like, well, basically, I felt the same way as Ellie did. Like when you take Ellie aside and chat with him for so long, I was a little bit jealous. I kind of cut myself off from Eddie last night, and that's why I went to him this morning. So, you know, I kind of feel, I said, I kind of feel bad how we left off. She's like, oh, well, I'm sorry if I made you feel a certain way.

53:52Ronnie Karam: She goes, well, it's obviously just jealousy's a bitch, and jealousy makes you nasty. I feel like... And Alicia's like,

53:58Ben Mandelker: what the hell? I feel like Jenna was, well, when she was saying jealousy's a bitch, was she saying Alicia was jealous, or was she... She was making it about herself. She was making it about herself, but I think

54:10Ronnie Karam: by continuing and saying, yeah, jealousy really makes you a bit. She was kind of talking to Alicia, you know, it's like trying to have a conversation with somebody where you don't want to be too confrontational. Yeah.

54:21Ben Mandelker: So I was like, alright, Daisy, Ben and Joelle, come to my kimono room for a preference sheet meeting. We've got Twinks on the way. Get in here. So he's like, alright, charter cinco. That means three. That means five. Okay, five it is. This is Tyler. He's a socialite from New York City with the face of Bronwyn Newport, but the hair of West from Summer House. How about that?

54:49Ronnie Karam: Somehow this guy looks like a person from a Jane Austen drummer and also a person from Downton Abbey, probably playing a score he made. Somehow he's very wealthy. So we go to Manhattan, busy, busy. there's traffic in manhattan so many taxi cabs and so the producer asked this tyler guy who's been on this show before right i love that this guy is just like rich as hell because he fucks some old dude and then spends his money to go on blow deck and get on tv it's so funny i did i did

55:28Ben Mandelker: not i mean like it's weird because he's so sort of generic twink looking that if he had been on the show before i would not have known i like i i i definitely did not pick up on that but he probably has been um so he's here and he's wearing this like little blazer that has like some sort of like it looks like golden bird shit on his shoulders and he's like um so yes hi i'm tyler and like how does a 28 year old afford a charter to charter super yacht and he goes um what's a budget honey i don't budget i just spend my partner is a very successful businessman and incredibly private. So he just said, I'm going to sign the check, send you away for a while, and bring your friends and have a good time.

56:08Ben Mandelker: I'm like, sweetie, that means that you're annoying as fuck. And he's just in it for the sex and he can't bear to talk with you during the daytime hours. So he's putting you on a boat to get you out of his hair. And he's probably cheating on you.

56:18Ronnie Karam: So he has a best friend, Brian, who's also his dermatologist. And he comes out in high heels. And he's like, oh my god, Tyler is the most over-the-top person you will ever meet. then we come back to present days he's like tyler's been keeping a surprise under wraps for his guests he's flying in his go-to glam technician to get him ready for a drag night on board oh wow i'll bet the guests are gonna love that wow he's doing drag for us again and now we're on a boat and can't walk to a separate section of the bar the most important part for tyler is that the Other guests do not see his glam get dropped off onto the yacht.

56:56Ronnie Karam: Surprise, glam. We must have discreet glam delivery. Fucking twink.

57:02Ben Mandelker: I feel like when Tyler gets into drag, he's going to look like Ivanka Trump. I swear to God. I was like. That's such a good call. I was like, we know which way this is going.

57:13Ronnie Karam: So he already dresses like a Trump hotel.

57:15Ben Mandelker: He does.

57:16Ronnie Karam: They show him he's wearing like big diamond clusters on his shoulders and stuff.

57:22Ben Mandelker: Tyler's going to be joined by Nick, Ashley, Mitchell, Brian, Spencer, Devon, and Luigi. And good luck telling them all apart. They're all going to wear beige and they're all going to look exactly the same.

57:33Ronnie Karam: Watch out. We're all going to have very on sheets by the time this is done. This is a very spray tanned group. The whole boat's going to smell like nair.

57:43Ben Mandelker: So Brian is like, we've become accustomed to Tyler and his partner covering the bill for a lot of things, which I'm grateful for. But I realize that's outside the realm of normal for most people. And by the way, it's poor Tyler. I actually feel bad for Tyler knowing that when his boyfriend dumps him, how his friends are just going to leave him in a heartbeat. Knowing that the boyfriend is basically funding all of their Coke and ketamine and bottles of champagne.

58:10Ronnie Karam: Yeah, well, you lose him the same way you get him. Get him with money, lose him with money. Or lack of. So Tyler's like, well, you pay me back in cosmetic procedures. it evens out in the wash you know how much botox is running through my face right now joan rivers is a turning in her grave so jason's like so he's a foodie i'm like uh

58:33Ben Mandelker: why do he's not why do i this is not a foodie he's he's as thick as a fingernail this is not a foodie here i'm telling you that right now it's like um so we're gonna be busy we've got a lot going on what the primary wants the primary gets so now we got Daisy and Jenna in the guest room and Jenna's folding towers and Jenna's like by the way I thought this was done and Alicia hasn't done it so Ellie went in and talked to her and basically said I don't appreciate your pulling dry and she was playing with fire she said oh well I do think Alicia in my opinion is jealous she's like yeah she's in the drama of relationships she's not even in a fucking relationship

59:13Ronnie Karam: so clean clean clean and everybody's done for the day. So Ellie's like brushing her teeth. And this is really a long brush teeth brushing moment where she's just like,

59:27Ronnie Karam: I was like, why is this? Why are they focusing so hard on Ellie brushing her teeth? Oh, it's because she's going to go try and bang Joao now. So she finishes and then she goes in and she's like, hello, I've missed you. And he's on the bottom bunk and she takes off her shoes and just gets right in bed. and he's like oh how are you doing anything interesting she's like oh well i told alicia that's about it i just didn't know what was going on and he puts his arms around her and they're

59:52Ben Mandelker: like flirting oh he's so gross this is not a guy it's just so funny because he's like well i'm not really into her but meanwhile she knocks on his door and she he stays there in bed and like tucked in the bed so like i think if you're if you're not interested in someone and they come into your room i think if you're i should say if you're a guy and a girl comes into your room and you know that she's interested in you and you're not interested in her are you gonna stay in that bed necessarily i think i'm gonna sort of move again to like a more platonic stance i might like he's interested

1:00:21Ronnie Karam: he's interested he's gonna take whatever is there he's gonna take whatever he gets i'm just saying it's just bullshit around her oh my god like he's like bullshit and like it's he's either full

1:00:30Ben Mandelker: bullshit one or two ways he's lying to us by saying he likes daisy or he's lying to ellie right now which he is and he's blatantly like well i'm not interested in her but if she wants to make out with me, I will make out with her because I'm horny.

1:00:42Ronnie Karam: I think he looks at Daisy as not a sure bet, so he's going to take the sure bet. So he's like, well, if you were worried, why didn't you come and find out what's going on? Because, Joelle, they're not supposed to fight over you. You're supposed to... Oh my god. And he's like, sorry, I got distracted. I lost track. He's like, it's okay. Thank you for apologizing. Oh, birthday massage back on okay thank you for being so respectful i really appreciate it and they kiss and he's like well honestly i've had quite a day quite a day she goes well i'll let you do it then so um joelle's like oh my god fucking fuck fuck how do i put myself in this kind of situation over and over like i just know i know i'm not supposed to be in like this situation but what chance did i have

1:01:34Ben Mandelker: yeah this is the classic thing wow how do i find myself in these situations over like this is what they all say yeah but then he's like i was i mean i was literally cornered in my own head my own bed

1:01:45Ronnie Karam: like she made me she made me cuddle her but i couldn't i had nowhere to rub my hands except

1:01:50Ben Mandelker: against her stomach you welcomed her into your room and you didn't get out of your bed when she came in like there were there were some off ramps here he's like i like i'm like what a fucking dickhead. What a coward is dickhead. Zimluff. So now everyone goes to bed and Daisy and Ellie are in their cabin and Ellie's like, Joey and I just had little cattle in cabin. Oh, that's cute. And I'm going to bake him a cake for his birthday.

1:02:16Ronnie Karam: Oh. Who saw that coming? The next morning, Eddie and Jenna are on the deck and Eddie's like, I had such a nice time. She's like, I had such a nice time. I told my mom this morning. God. Okay, you're moving a little fast there. She's like, did ya? What did your mom say? Oh, she was excited for me. Ah, that's okay. That's okay. Tell her I said in Jesus' name.

1:02:42Ben Mandelker: And Jason's like, all crew, all crew, get into your eyes. Time to meet in the main salon because the guests will be arriving. Stand up. Oh, wait a second. Instead of guests, do you know what I'm seeing on the horizon there, Ronnie?

1:02:55Ronnie Karam: Fish report, fish report. Now it's time for a fish report. Now, we've seen this stingray about nine million times. The only reason I'm putting it in here today is because it's the stingray who is now in the same shot as the turtle and the starfish. Now, this turtle has been hanging out with the starfish trying to get attention. The starfish has been ignoring it. And now the stingray has come into the scene. Very Alicia coded.

1:03:24Ben Mandelker: It's like, Alicia's like, hello, stingray. And the turtle's like, get out of here. Shoo. That's my man.

1:03:30Ronnie Karam: The turtle is Alicia. Like, you better watch out. I mean, the turtle is Ellie. It's like, you better stay away from my man. I know what you're about to do. I know. You're very unprofessional. Get away from starfish. And the stingray's like, but I wore my best feather in my hair.

1:03:47Ben Mandelker: I'm going to Coachella. I'm going to stingray Coachella after this.

1:03:52Ronnie Karam: Okay, now we go to this fish, which we've also seen.

1:03:56Ben Mandelker: this is like a what have we seen this one well i would no i i feel like we've seen versions of this fish so uh the fish that we're seeing on screen here today um has the face of the stupid fish like there's a there's one fish that's very dumb that pops up every few like almost every week and you're like oh my god what a dumb fish but it has the body of a pretty fish that fish is a 10 head and this fish is not a 10 head right but like this one has like like the hot girl body right like like all those like those lines are like beautiful beautiful all beautiful but has the stupid has the stupid guy face yeah you know what's going on and so i don't feel like we've seen this hybrid before of stupid stupid guy face but hot girl body it's like milton burl in the

1:04:37Ronnie Karam: front and you know may west in the back and also this uh fish is fascinating because look at these eyes move isn't this creepy it has human eyes which i've never seen on the fish it has big white eyes with a blue iris and black pupils like a human and it rolls it's like doll hair it's like Chuck E. Cheese eyes you remember those animatronic Chuck E. Cheese eyes and look it looks right into the camera it's like what it is it

1:05:02Ben Mandelker: it is a stupid fish it's a stupid fish because it thinks it's part of the school of other fish and it's like you're not part of these fish like why do you think you're part of their school this is not your group I don't even think it cares

1:05:13Ronnie Karam: because look it's rolling its eyes it's like whatever stupid fish everybody you're stupid except me

1:05:19Ben Mandelker: I feel like it looks like embarrassed like oh my god I just realized I'm in the wrong school right now the bus dropped me off at the wrong place oh my god mom

1:05:27Ronnie Karam: god I wish mom would let me have a cell phone so I could call her to pick me up this is so embarrassing I think I left my

1:05:33Ben Mandelker: homework at home oh my god

1:05:35Ronnie Karam: or it's a jack's fish he's had too much coke like oh yeah it's like I'm fine I'm sober

1:05:41Ben Mandelker: I'm totally sober I'm totally fine what what what okay

1:05:45Ronnie Karam: so this next fish it god those eyes really are creepy though. So this next fish, fabulous. This fish is the Cheetah Rivera of fish. I'm only bringing up stars from a really long time ago that no one will understand, but yes, Cheetah.

1:06:00Ben Mandelker: This one, yeah, she is. She's like, well, I just got off stage doing Kiss at the Spider Woman and I'm about to go to Sardi's for a late night snack. And no photos, please, no photos, no photos. I'm off work.

1:06:12Ronnie Karam: I will be wearing zebra print again and who's gonna fucking stop me?

1:06:17Ben Mandelker: This is, I believe, is this a lionfish? And it's either a lionfish or a zebrafish. I always get them confused. But this one is a very stripy fish with all these fins going in fabulous different directions. If you ever saw the naked gun, this is like the fish that Leslie Nielsen gets stuck on his finger and then his nose. And not only is this one fabulous in terms of all of its pizzazz, but the fact that it's also hot pink. Or at least there's a hot pink light on it. whatever's happening that's either found its light or it is it's like it's like it is like

1:06:51Ronnie Karam: the spider woman with her velvet cape and i'm fast forwarding through this one because they show it again and i want to show oh wait did i cut it out they showed us oh this is a different fish

1:07:02Ben Mandelker: i think it's the same type of oh is it maybe not it's also another fabulous fish it's like

1:07:08Ronnie Karam: another showgirl fish with like big hair and like you know tool and like fins everywhere fabulous fish.

1:07:16Ben Mandelker: And it's kind of like the Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski fishes. This is like a duo. This is fabulous. Extravagance.

1:07:24Ronnie Karam: This is a fish on fish violence. We see this kind of cute fish with stripes and this other fish that's a matching fish comes and just like bonks into it with its mouth. Do you think it's kissing it or do you think it's threatening?

1:07:38Ben Mandelker: It was a total kiss. It was so sweet. I was like, oh, I went back and watched this five times. Really? By the way, can we just acknowledge this crab this crab is hilarious right before the kiss but this kiss is so horrible because it's one

1:07:51Ronnie Karam: of those people like you're kissing them with your mouth closed but then their mouth is open over your

1:07:56Ben Mandelker: mouth but it's so excited to see its partner i i love it it's like it just got home it's like hi

1:08:03Ronnie Karam: but this partner's cheating though this other partner's cheating it's like oh okay hi hi i did I was at work. Now I'm at home. It happens every day, honey.

1:08:14Ben Mandelker: Wait, you didn't open your mouth when we kissed. Hi, I brought a pebble in my mouth for you. I was like, I don't want the pebble. But you always like the pebble.

1:08:25Ronnie Karam: Why do you taste like an awesome blossom? Were you somewhere without me after work? Did you go to Applebee's without me? Or is that Outback? I don't really remember, but I am pissed. I'll be back in the bedroom. I'm going back to the bedroom.

1:08:36Ben Mandelker: By the way, the precision of that first, like, these fish are narrow, and to be able to, like, come up and kiss right on these, there's, like, a tiny, tiny target to get lip on lip. It is cute.

1:08:46Ronnie Karam: You know, I love that. And look how he instantly gets a boner. He's like, his fin just went straight up. It's like, boom.

1:08:53Ben Mandelker: I actually almost think the first, the kissing fish, the one that comes in, realizes after the kiss, oh, my God, I just kissed the wrong person.

1:09:00Ronnie Karam: Oh, God, why do we all look the same?

1:09:03Ben Mandelker: I'm sorry. I thought you were my boyfriend. Hi. Oh, you're not. You're not him, are you?

1:09:12Ronnie Karam: Okay, I'll just be over here. I'll just be in the back. My bad. My bad. All right. So let's look at this crab. This crab we've seen before. This is a hairy red crab hanging out on a hairy red and green rock. It's kind of matching the rock. The reason I really like this is because look at the look at the lips of the crab. They're like, this crab is so sick of being filmed. is just going like this.

1:09:37Ben Mandelker: Also, I like how it uses the bit of coral to hide its trouble areas for the camera. It's like, oh, hi, I'm just here behind this rock. Don't mind me. I'm still in shape.

1:09:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah, shoot that again, but do it. I'm going to be on the rock this time.

1:09:52Ben Mandelker: Okay. It's like, why doesn't anyone come and kiss me? Just waiting for another crab to come up and kiss it behind this rock.

1:10:00Ronnie Karam: It's literally hugging a rock

1:10:01Ben Mandelker: going like,

1:10:05Ronnie Karam: it's very pervy yeah take a bath so then um we see um i just this is like a georgia o 'keefe painting in the ocean it's like this big flower with all of this stuff coming out of it i think georgia o 'keefe is trying to tell someone in the ocean that it's time to start seeing like a a groomer or a brazilian waxer or something this is a very sexual and i think it's an

1:10:31Ben Mandelker: anemone anemone anemone anemone anemone anemone it's it's very sexual it's like ready love is in the air on this coral love is in the water yeah um

1:10:44Ronnie Karam: georgia o 'reef okay and then we go to that was an amazing pun ronnie you liked it yeah we go to this one this is like a stick fish but it's um it looks like the shape of a dragon upside down and it's got Hundreds of legs, but it's also got legs all over its body. This is crazy looking.

1:11:06Ben Mandelker: It looks like a seahorse. And you know that its wife is like, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've told Sal he's got to get a haircut. I just don't know why he lets it grow out so much.

1:11:17Ronnie Karam: He's trying to grow a goatee, but he just can't do it. It just grows so uneven. He looks crazy.

1:11:23Ben Mandelker: He's like, but I run cold. This keeps me warm. No, you're lazy, Sal.

1:11:28Ronnie Karam: Sal, the second we got married, you just stopped putting in any effort, and I'm sick of it. And also, get that skin disease fix. He's like, what? You're always itching. Where the lotion I bought you?

1:11:39Ben Mandelker: It's like flames all over his body. Sal seems to be at some sort of like the modern art museum of the sea, because he's like walking under an interesting light installation right now. He's like, oh, wow. I love this room. This is so thoughtful. i'm really thinking about things because what is that what is that what is that fascinating color

1:12:00Ronnie Karam: multi-colored shape above this seahorse it's so cool whatever he's hanging out on top of it's made with like tubes tubes of rings i mean it looks like it's set from alien truly you know or it kind of looks like phone cords old phone cords that are curled it's like is it what's

1:12:17Ben Mandelker: the name of the artist is it chihuly chihuly chululi it's like chululi but it could also be Jeff Koontz. It's like it's something that feels like it should be hanging from the ceiling at an airport. It's gorgeous.

1:12:28Ronnie Karam: Well, this was fun. Fish report. Fish report. That has been the fish report. The kissing fish delighted me the most.

1:12:38Ben Mandelker: Blah, blah, blah, blah. That was pretty cute.

1:12:41Ronnie Karam: It was cute and it shows us how different we think because I was like, these fish are fighting. And you're like, no, it's cute. They're making love.

1:12:49Ben Mandelker: Also, they showed those two kissing fish right after jenna and eddie kissed and in fact i'm not gonna lie this morning because dom fell asleep watching below deck this morning i was like dom there were these two fish that were kissing and i like went up and i found the scene and i was like look and i showed him the kissing fish

1:13:09Ronnie Karam: then you just opened your mouth and kissed him like sucked his closed mouth he was like what

1:13:14Ben Mandelker: happened on below deck last night i fell asleep i was like these two fish guests and i'm not even joking i literally that was like that was my takeaway there are these two

1:13:22Ronnie Karam: fish i gotta show it to you they cast so okay so now everybody is lining up outside for the guests to come and um ellie's standing right at the front of the line with ben and so dates he's like ah ellie do you mind if jenna stands in front of you because she's second still and she's like um well yeah well no i'm saying she's standing in front of you please that that was a it was an order uh wrapped in a request move move your eyes

1:13:51Ben Mandelker: i don't like how daisy's addressing me she's like commanding like oh i'm telling you to move down the line like okay you're not my head of department i'm like yes she is a command of you she and she outranks you yeah so sorry yes you're losing this one yeah this is not the Don't go up against Daisy. Here's the thing. Ellie has taken down Ben. And Ellie is. She's a fierce competitor. But she will always lose to Daisy. Every single time. No one. Definitely. No one beats Daisy. She's the final boss. She's the Mario actually. And everyone else is the Bowser.

1:14:32Ronnie Karam: Because she doesn't have weird emotions about everything too. She's just very cut and dry. Like, we've seen her get really emotional when she was dating Gary and what's-his-buns. But that's because they were both, like, putting her through the bringer or whatever. But, like, with work stuff, she's just like, no, you move the fuck where you're supposed to be. Thanks. Yeah. The end. So now the gays come down. Oh, my God. Yes, mother. I can't. Yes.

1:15:03Ronnie Karam: And come onto the boat. and Ben is setting up his honey jar in the galley and he's like, oh, so I've got an idea for the honey jar. I'll put in a, the honey pot rather, I'll put in white beans, all right? That'll represent dollars. And every time I say, babe, honey or whatever, you can take out a bean and you can eat the bean. Oh, it reminds me of when I was a child. so

1:15:32Ben Mandelker: Izzy swats me in line with Jenna by the way he's like I saw that I don't really care I don't give a shit what rank I am it's alright with me but now I think that like Ellie I have a theory now that maybe Ellie still has some unresolved feelings of being disrespected by Ben but she knows she can't she needs to like get along with Ben so now she's just going to project them or deflect them onto other people and now she is going to aim it towards this situation here so i think that

1:16:05Ronnie Karam: no matter i think we've learned from ellie that no matter what the situation ellie needs to feel like she is the boss and in control yes and if she's not and if people make her feel like she's not she gets pissed i think she's over the ben thing really i think it's like straight up daisy now it's like okay well ben solved but now i've got alicia and i've got this other chick that i'm going to go and now too because she's going to go for jenna and for daisy now so uh daisy's giving a tour but meanwhile ellie is sees jenna and she goes so jenna did you ask to stand in the line in front of me is that where that came from and she's like what yeah because we are the same rank and

1:16:43Ben Mandelker: jenna just goes uh hasa hasa zoo chef is the same rank as seconds too in fact it's even higher maybe even higher than first two maybe even higher than chef and jenna's like before you can we never really spoke about sous chef we just thought about galley hand and that's all we thought she was and she's a great reminder that that is actually what ellie's position yes you are not sous chef

1:17:11Ronnie Karam: he specifically took you aside and said all right you're not sous chef so we need to come up with a different title for you that's not scullery made because i'm sure that that'll offend you so let's come up with something a little bit more respectable sounding, but you're also going to be the lady who does the dishes. So yeah, that doesn't outrank anybody. And it's not even to diss that. It's not like that's a bad job, but stop trying to act so high andfalutin, babe. So Jenna goes, yeah, in what universe would the dishwasher rank above the second stair? You should have been at the end of the line, darling.

1:17:44Ronnie Karam: I hope you packed a snack for your troubles.

1:17:50Ben Mandelker: So good. so uh then jenna asks ben about some sort of barbecue and leaves and ellie goes no ever since she got swapped in line now she's on a high horse like i'm second stew and you're just gallihan like she's not on a high horse she came in here to ask a question about this barbecue and then you came at her and she's like settle down you confronted her about that thing and she

1:18:13Ronnie Karam: stood up to you very nicely actually and ben goes did she say gallihan She's like, yes Well Jenna actually does have a point Like theoretically A galley hand, which is what she really is Between you and me, okay That would be a lesser rank So I invented chef assistant Like did that improve her rank? No, she's still Susan

1:18:36Ben Mandelker: He's very amused by this She's like, I'm gonna let Karma take its course She's like, yes, I like that

1:18:43Ronnie Karam: Karma has already taken its course You're a galley hand

1:18:48Ben Mandelker: yeah exactly so they're setting up dinner this could be on the beach and Daisy's like these guests have requested a lot lost at sea themed dinner in the beach which is what I really wish I was at this point and I have a love hate relationship with this theme I love the theme I think it's so fun but I hate that we're going to the beach at night so the guests are playing with water toys having a great time going down the slide and everything and then Joao I can't Meredith Mars

1:19:22Ronnie Karam: So Daisy and Alicia are setting up on the beach And Daisy's like well I heard you had like a better drama with Allie the other night And she's like well she came in and she was getting her massage stuff from the cabins And she just turned around and was like oh you're not a girl's girl You're really selfish and all you do is think about yourself You're a narcissist You know she has a way of taking things even when they were already mad and twisting them, this girl. Like, she can never really quote things right. And she was like, you're helping me up. You know, you were hyping me up in the taxi about Joao, and then you had to pull him for a chat.

1:19:57Ben Mandelker: I mean, I don't really know about the Ali and Joao thing, so I can't say something. It's like, you know, mid-season slump. I'm just tired. She's like, but you need a love interest, which I love Alicia literally trying to produce her storyline. You need a love interest. It's where we're 10 episodes into the season. You haven't had a love interest yet. What's America going to think? She's like, like, who? Who would be my love interest? Well, she was lovely. Well, she was with Ellie. Ellie would stab me in my sleep. It's like, oh God, but you share a cabin. She's like, well, look, Ellie is not in my good books right now.

1:20:31Ben Mandelker: So fuck it. I'm going to meddle. Oh, sorry. Sorry, Alicia. I'm just trying to imagine what you'd be saying right now. What would you say? Well, I'd probably say the same thing, which is that Ellie is not in my good books right now. So fuck it. I'm going to meddle.

1:20:43Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So she's like, I'll burn it to the ground. And if I can't get him, if I can't make him like me, I'll make him not like Ellie instead. But she really likes him. She's like, well, I heard through the grapevine that he doesn't like her. He fancies you. It came from a man who was popping a squat and letting out a dookie. So I'm sure it was the truth. Dun, dun, dun. And we cut to Ellie holding a knife in the galley like.

1:21:10Ben Mandelker: and i thought for sure we'd get the mid-season uh trailer after that i mean maybe we watched i watched the screener so it wasn't attached to that um maybe we did get to see it on the on the broadcast uh because i'm like where's episode 10 we haven't had our mid-season trailer yet maybe we did and i just forgot either way we'll see what happens with this romantic triangle All right, everybody.

1:21:34Ronnie Karam: Thanks so much for being here. We will talk to you next time.

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1:24:30Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

1:24:53Ronnie Karam: She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Chirouse. Thank you.

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