#3305 The Valley S3E02 Part Two: Troubled Relationsnips

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1:23Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

1:36Ronnie Karam: Kristen is asking Brittany about her time with Zach. And Brittany's like, well, he was talking about Brandon. And you know, he just swore I'm moving too fast. And I just, I felt so attacked. I felt so attacked. Okay, Janet. You know, I was attacked because he was coming at me. And I talked to Brandon about it. And I was like, people are worried because you got baggage. And Kristen's like well everyone has baggage i mean duh yeah but like nobody can nobody's baggage compares to jacks taylor like let's be real actually i think yeah i think yeah a lot of people's three kids with two i mean i think three kids with two two women that you're having like really bad

2:13Ben Mandelker: relationships with is comparable the reason why we could always tell britney that jacks taylor was bad news is that because he's so not unique like Jax Taylor is like a cookie cutter narcissistic abusive asshole bad guy and like we've seen it before we've seen Lifetime movies we saw that movie with Julia Roberts we've just seen unfortunately people in our real lives and this is like I'm a little worried that she is in this kind of post Jax honeymoon space where she's like well I already went through hell I'll know how to see it and I couldn't get any worse than that. So I'm fine. It's like, no, actually there's so many more guys out there like that.

2:54Ben Mandelker: Like, just please be careful. I already just don't love that. She's kind of saying that she already told Brandon like, Oh, people are worried, which means she said my friend Zach came over and he was like, he was just trying to look out for my buddy. He was like, watch out for you because you got like two kids. And like, what do you think about that? Zach's real nice though. I don't want it to be awkward between you and Zach. Like she's already kind of pitting them against each other.

3:15Ronnie Karam: Yep, exactly. So Janet comes up to Jasmine and Jasmine's eating. She's eating alone. And Janet comes up. She's like, I don't want to fuck you while you're eating, but you have a second. Okay. She's like, you're good. You're good. Yeah, feel free to keep eating. Oh, thanks. You came up to me with half a taco in my mouth. I will. I will feel free.

3:41Ben Mandelker: I just want to say that there is a 1 p.m. opening to view the pandas. I'm sorry. I'm getting a little bit into costume here. I just also wanted to talk because I feel like a lobotomy. Okay. No.

3:54Ronnie Karam: Do you need the bathroom cleaned? Okay. I can do a lot of jobs today.

3:58Ben Mandelker: I'm in a universal uniform. I can't tell which direction I want to go in.

4:06Ronnie Karam: That's the psycho house right over there. If you look in the window, you can see Norman's mother.

4:14Ben Mandelker: So she's like, well, I feel like things haven't been 100 % or like great with us. And I want you to know that you mean a lot to me. And I wanted to apologize again for really just speaking on stuff that I wasn't involved in. And Jasmine's like, thank you. I don't know if this is the time to do it here. But like, I think that there's a larger, bigger, larger, even bigger, gigantic conversation that we need to have to get, you know, to the real root of this. Like what happened between us? Yes. And I didn't even realize at the time, like, why was I so mad? And then I just started to do therapy. And like, thank God.

4:53Ben Mandelker: Oh, I'm sorry.

4:54Ronnie Karam: Do you pause? Someone is delivering the gold medal that Janet's getting for going to therapy one time. Thank you. I'll be sure to pass that on. Thanks.

5:03Ben Mandelker: Give me one session in time where I'm more than I thought I could be. Well, I'm in therapy. I do it at Dave and Buster's. Basically, every time I have a breakthrough, I get to roll a ball. Ticket therapy.

5:21Ronnie Karam: Ski ball. Yes. Saving up for a PlayStation cover.

5:25Ben Mandelker: They say that if I can get 20 ,000 credits, I can have a breakthrough about my childhood. So just fingers crossed I can get there.

5:33Ronnie Karam: You know, and this is one of the things in therapy, you know, for the 10 minutes that I went. I was like, you know, this is unresolved. And I'm very, very bothered by this. You know, because Jasmine, she's always been awesome. It's Jasmine. You know, Jasmine smells good. Everybody loves Jasmine. Aladdin. Love Jasmine. Jasmine. Jasmine. Am I right, everybody? Jasmine. Okay. Nobody's going to cheer. I guess because I'm dressed like a janitor. Cheers with janitors. Sorry.

6:03Ben Mandelker: But I also could invite people to watch the koalas. So that's kind of cheer worthy. Therapy has been a big help. Just last week when I went to therapy, I came home with a little poofy ball that sort of, I think it was supposed to be cat dog from Nickelodeon, but I wasn't quite sure what it was. But either way, it was really cool. Great, great time.

6:24Ronnie Karam: Therapy is so good. Last time I came back, I was driving home from therapy and I was like, wow, this is a great milkshake. I was like, that was a Shake Shack. on it.

6:34Ben Mandelker: It's not there. Yeah. I like to go to Joyce and Ruth's, which is kind of like Dave and Buster's, except it's based after Dr. Ruth and Dr. Joyce Brothers.

6:49Ronnie Karam: Learned so much. So, I realized, you know, last year I was using a lot of words with the intention to hurt. And so, I'm really diving into that with my therapist to say like how can we work through that where i can express myself or maybe communicate without using hurtful language and jasmine's like uh-huh well you know i'm right i mean in my mind this whole friendship was dead so it's like gone done so you know like i had a funeral for you in my head no one came by the way it was sad i felt for you but you know it's it's a thought like you know i like before you would have been in my wedding and i was just thinking the other day Like, look at this wedding that I'm not planning.

7:30Ronnie Karam: Like, I'm not even planning on Janet not being there, but she wouldn't be there had I been planning this wedding. You know what I mean? It was like so awkward in my head.

7:37Ben Mandelker: Great. Yeah, totally get it. And since this conversation seems like it's actually going quite well, I thought I'd derail it a little bit. So I hope we can have some resolution. One thing I would really love us to have resolution on is what time the giraffes are fed, because I was told 4 p.m., but I've been telling the group since it's about 3 p.m. I just want to make sure that's, okay, it's 4 p.m. another thing is the conversation at the beach last year was really tough and i was thinking maybe we should talk about it maybe a sixth time just to really get to the root of it do you have any sort of understanding that like an apology would be nice for like all that shit you called me that day when i came with you and ganged up on you with my husband a conversation that the two of

8:19Ronnie Karam: you were having so you want to say you're my voice into your business yet again and stood there like Karen and tried to force an apology out of you for something that was none of my business. You remember that? Can I get an apology for that? Janet, making amends does not mean going door to door and using therapy as a victim cloak to shield yourself from any criticism and then demanding apologies from people. I mean, I think you need to just keep going. Are you going to Kristen's therapist who asked, how much is 15 minutes, Kristen? Fuck your husband. Is this the same therapist? Because I'm seeing a trend.

8:57Ronnie Karam: Maybe you need to go over the hill for therapy. Okay, I'm saying that right now. So Jasmine's like, well, I mean, I was heated because I literally had you two coming at me. She goes, of course. Well, you know, I was heated when I blocked you and I've done everything that I've done. So she goes, okay. She's like, so, okay. So then baby space is good. Okay, enjoy your tacos. Oh, fuck off. Fuck off coming over here and demanding an apology. And Jasmine's like, oh, well, yep, not going to eat these now because they're covered in flies. Because I stopped talking to listen to this complete waste of an apology.

9:31Ben Mandelker: The flies are like, wow, we are really striking out today. First, we got stuck on the Michelle and Tom date. And now we got stuck listening to Janet.

9:38Ronnie Karam: I'm going back to sir. You know, the grass is always greener.

9:46Ronnie Karam: I like the taco.

9:47Ben Mandelker: Oh, shut up. So then Janet, Michelle. So, Brittany Fly. Brittany Fly's like, guys, I actually think we should eat more of the tacos. It's really not so bad. The taco didn't mean anything by it. He really didn't. So then Janet, Michelle, and Brittany are all chatting. And Janet's like, well, Isabella, you're the star. Don't you know that? It's like, oh, yeah, she is going to give me a lot of things. Yeah, it's like, wait, how do you feel about being here with everyone, Janet? She's like, yeah, I feel okay. Jasmine and I talked a little bit. It was okay. He's like, oh, you talk to Jasmine? Yeah, I literally just said that.

10:24Ben Mandelker: And I told her, you know, I would just follow her lead on this. Oh, okay. I just wish everyone would get along and just play in Wonderland, you know?

10:34Ronnie Karam: So Janet compliments Isabella's little shoes. And she's like, well, what are those little Dolce & Gabbana's? And Michelle's like, I aid them. She's like, well, I mean, these must have come from Lacey then. Okay, well, if she wants to waste her money on expensive stuff for your kid, why not? And Brittany's like, Lacey bought him. Holy hurry. This whole time I thought Jesse bought him.

10:58Ben Mandelker: So now Jesse and Zach go to a drink at a bar called The Aviator, which is basically like an airplane. What is this? I've always been curious about this bar. I think it's on Beverly or Melrose. And I've been very curious about it. And now I don't know. I can't tell if I'm more curious or less curious now. but you basically sit in chairs like you're in 1960s airplane, but it's a room. It's shaped like a plane.

11:22Ronnie Karam: It's a set. It's like a plane set that you walk onto and you even get like the coffee, tea, maybe. What do you want to drink today? What can I get you? And yeah, you sit like you're on a plane. It's the weirdest place, but I love the dedication to camp.

11:36Ben Mandelker: That's what I like, but I also feel bad for the waiter. Who's like, I came out to LA to be young and the restless. and now I'm 47 and I am serving these two idiots a cocktail in a fake flight attendant uniform. Okay. So Jesse's like, hey, so what happened with Jasmine's acting? Oh my God. So last night Jasmine calls me and she's like, Lala invited me to the party today. And Jesse's like, oh, so I guess now we're just not good enough to go to Lala's. Like, yeah, right. Like the sip and see. Like I feel like we all had like entered like another dimension and things were like happening. and I was like, what's going on?

12:12Ben Mandelker: Am I right?

12:15Ronnie Karam: So originally, Zach, Jesse, and Jasmine were not invited to go to Lala's because she's team Janet. Oh, Lord. So Jesse's like, well, I was kind of nervous arriving with Lacey. Like I had like sweaty mustache, you know? But you know what? We have a lot of back, a really long backstory. And Zach's like, yeah, because you met when she was like, what, 15? 23. 16? 23. She was 23. Yeah, you were like old. Yeah, she was 23 or probably four and I was 30. So thanks. But, you know, we were texting every day. I mean, for like years, day in, day out, texting, texting. And then I met Michelle, you know. So why does everybody have that?

12:55Ronnie Karam: Do you think it's fishy that that storyline is now two people? I don't know what I mean by fishy. I just, it seems like people are like, oh, no, no, this is totally normal now because we have a longer history. because britney's doing that too like oh well i need this guy before so it's like oh we're just jumping we're just going quickly because we've known each other for that long and that's what he's saying too that's a good great point um i don't really have one it's just i don't know what my point is except it seems weird like they're trying to make these relationships seem more um

13:28Ben Mandelker: solid well first of all we see two people who are incapable of um moving forward with their lives

13:35Ronnie Karam: the second because they're basically retread back to the greatest greatest yeah it's like throwing the greatest hits yeah it's like the difference is called that they used the now

13:44Ben Mandelker: albums the now cds now that's now that's what i call relationship from the past bad decisions um i think the difference is that with britney we see her as someone who is susceptible to falling into traps and needs to do a lot of work on herself before she throws herself back in the dating pool whereas jesse was the narcissist in his relationship and so it's kind of like if anything we should be concerned for lacy but lacy also seems like i feel like lacy seems to have like be be the one wearing the pants with jesse which is what was surprising is what we see

14:22Ronnie Karam: so yeah i'm i'm interested in this because no it turns out that lacy so he you know we heard this stuff for michelle like jesse you know we made a lot of money and then jesse just decided to stop working and go party and spend all the money and i'm still working and jesse's out there partying and i'm trying to raise a baby and this and that and he's a user basically and i think people at the time were like okay well you both seem toxic who knows but now we see him in this relationship and he's clearly trying to use this woman and like all the money she got from her ex like it's clear as day it's even clear to her so yeah it's interesting to see him in this because you're i think we're seeing him as much more of a a player and a user yeah i think so um uh i do

15:10Ben Mandelker: think the story of like we used to text every single day for years and years and years until i met michelle it's like a little bit weird i think it's yeah i i don't i don't understand that and then like immediately goes back to texting so i don't know what it sort of pings on my radar is like, so you were interested in this girl for all this time, but nothing ever happened with her, but you still like engaged with her for years and years and years. And then you just like dropped her, which I think is kind of weirdly cruel. I don't know. There's something weird. There's like a weird element going on here.

15:40Ronnie Karam: Well, they both went off and got married and had kids. And she got a lot of money, I guess, in her marriage and her relationship. And so now suddenly she's good enough because she's rich. So he's like, oh shit, you live in a mansion in Orange

15:54Ben Mandelker: county i'm in when can i move in babe yeah so he is feeling like he loves this relationship he says the thing is about lacy is i feel that we are equals and when it comes to conversation and intellect with michelle i always felt like she wasn't participating like she was just the kind that was there for the ride i'm like because you probably took up all the air in the room and she's probably miserable and she's probably thinking to herself how can i get out of this stupid conversation about ayahuasca yeah jesse's intellectual conversations oh to be a fly on that

16:28Ronnie Karam: wall they're like i'm still looking taco off my shins from the last party i went to leave me out

16:33Ben Mandelker: of this the men's coach is putting his palm on the on the fly's shoulder just let us know what

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20:01Ronnie Karam: yeah you know lacy is trying to take steps to create that modern family you know because i know how important it is for isabella when she sees the two of us together so he's saying that lacy says that michelle was very nice in that conversation and zach's like oh my god if i had pearls i would have grabbed them or gotten a paper towel depends on the kind of necklace but you know what i was floored that they were talking for lord because i'm zach like that is crazy. I saw two people talking at a party.

20:31Ben Mandelker: Whoa! And I thought that like everyone, like I thought everything was like the Twilight Zone because then I saw Michelle and Tom talking and I was like, Tom why are you doing that? He's like oh yeah, I forgot who it was that said something to me. They were like, oh Schwartz and Michelle they should just like get together. Then like you Schwartz, Lacey and Michelle should just start hanging out. But I went to Schwartz and Michelle individually and I was like, you guys should get together. She's like, no! Like that's like the blind leading the blind. Like, I don't like it. So back to the birthday party.

21:01Ben Mandelker: It's still going on, going strong, and Luke pulls over. He's like, pulls over Tom. He's like, hey, dude, Tom, I gotta tell you something. Right before we left, Grace and I hooked up for the first time since giving birth. I'm like, okay, great. Congratulations. You pressured her into finally having sex before the party.

21:20Ronnie Karam: Arnie, as you're talking to the biggest masturbator in the room. seriously Tom's like why why'd you need that uh so uh yeah he's a creep uh Luke I mean so Tom's like I don't know I'm not a woman but you know from what I hear like not being after you have a baby you're not comfortable in your own skin and you know you have post-mortem and all that stuff so I guess that's a beautiful thing you could make her feel comfortable in her body that probably feels like it's just been dead and is getting judged by a coroner

21:52Ben Mandelker: luke is like post-mortem he's like ah sorry i'm a little boy me and lala are chatting and lala's like i feel so weird even talking to you about this but i want to find like a level grounds for you and janet's she's like um it's just like a lot of damage that's been on my mind it's just been done and like you do really have like like do you really have like a change of mind are you Is it just like performative to like get along in a group space? Like, I don't even know. It's like, well, I'm advocating for the devil with a Christian woman. So uphill battles for me.

22:29Ronnie Karam: So she's going to make them talk. And he is like, I mean, like, I just don't like Janet. So she goes in and Janet's like, are you having an amazing day? I've been to therapists once. So I talk like this and Lala is like, yes, but you know, it's going to be even more amazing because you're going to have a conversation with Nia. You know what? She's willing to build a bridge. She's going to build a bridge. And she's like, really? She goes, yeah, I just want you to hear her out. So Lala's basically like, oh, listen, Nia's outside. She wants to apologize to you. Now she's selling this to Janet. And Janet just goes, oh, okay.

23:04Ronnie Karam: Well, I'm happy to hear her out. I'm very happy to hear her out. Should I keep the safari hat on or take it? I mean, I'm not really sure how she is around animals. I haven't talked to her for a while, so. Okay, I'll go. I'll go. So she goes and they're both looking at each other like, hello. Hi. Waiting for your apology.

23:25Ben Mandelker: Yes. And Lala just leaves. I feel like Lala should have mediated a little bit. So she's like, yeah, hi. They're looking at each other. And Dan goes, well, I know today's been awkward. If there's anything you want to say or get off your chest, I'm happy to listen. And yeah, Jess is like, no. It's like, okay. Well, congratulations again. Thank you.

23:49Ronnie Karam: I'll talk to you soon. Talk to you soon. So she goes in. I'm like, she's already dialing the police, Janet. So Nia's like, I mean, normally Janet walks away from conversations when they get tough, but nothing even happened. So I'm not sure. So she goes in and Lala's like, Nia, what just happened? And she tells her and she's like, what the hell? Because you lied, Lala. No one was willing to apologize. eyes yeah now janet pulls the effervescent jared to the side to have a talk and they go into a room they have to have a private room for this discussion and janet's like um lala pulled me to talk to nia and i said okay it's awkward so congratulations on your home and your baby and if you have anything to say to me and she's just staring at me nodding her head i mean if we go below the surface she doesn't want to talk about what happened

24:39Ben Mandelker: so then Nia walks into this room to feed her baby oh sorry wrong spot trying to feed the baby oh no come in come in come in no that was awkward so Janet's like I feel like with Danny and Nia I'm not ever going to be able to win which is crazy after you accuse someone of doing sexual assault like you just can't seem to ever win them back and Nia I think I just I do need to apologize for using words to cause her pain she's innocent in some ways but also defending the behavior is kind of a tough one for me So, I don't know. And then Nanny pulls the -

25:10Ronnie Karam: I don't think Nia ever defended the behavior. Nia was mortified. Nia was like, yeah, you need to just keep apologizing until people are ready to forgive you, sir. Because that's ridiculous. I don't think Nia was ever like, Danny didn't do anything wrong. She was like, yeah, Danny did wrong. He needs to apologize.

25:33Ronnie Karam: So, Nia's like, yeah, that was the - She's telling Danny about it. And Danny's like, well, I mean, you only talked for two seconds and then she just walked away. There is not unless they change. There's no conversation unless we get a sorry. By the way, are you ready to get fucked like crazy? Because we are at a party. They have tacos outside. They get me hard, baby. They get me going. They get me going, girl.

25:54Ben Mandelker: So now it's another day and Danny picks up Zach to join him for an appointment for a vasectomy. So Danny is like, well, it's only right that you come with me to get my balls checked. we're going to be ball brothers. Okay. We see flashback to when they got like scrotum. Scrotox. Scrotox. Y 'all. So it's like, yeah, poor Nia. She's having a sad day. Yeah. Probably just a hormone. So sad for her. Okay. I still tried to pressure her to having sex, but like she was very sad, you know, very sad.

26:25Ronnie Karam: Oh, can we stop at this t-shirt shop? I want to get one that says, fuck this guy with an arrow pointing down, down to my nuts.

26:33Ben Mandelker: so when it like comes to like who wanted to push this like ball sniffing forward was it like more you or was it like more like nia yeah it was nia because it never even crossed my mind to do this she's like what like you just like want to use a condom the rest of your life it's like no i just it's called pulling the prey method you know there that's the thing like it kills me to think that asher won't have a brother to grow up with and a lot of people are saying it's pretty ballsy procedure. Get that ballsy ballsy vasectomy ballsy.

27:01Ronnie Karam: So it's like oh god. So they go to the doctor's office and the doctor's like yes you brought a wingman to get a vasectomy? It's like yeah I brought my support. My wife's not fucking me. So that's where we're at. So the doctor's like alright vasectomy and he whips out a little you know what do they call it? Not a statue but like a learning tool or whatever. It's just like shades like a diorama. And yeah, he like plops it on the table. He's like, all right, vasectomies, 200 years old. You ready for the spiel? I don't got all day.

27:36Ben Mandelker: All right. The doctor's like, whoa, I've never seen such dark pools behind someone's eyes. Sorry, I got distracted. Anyway, this is how it works. 200-year-old process. We're going to go in there, cut things off. He's like, whoa, hi, hey, show. So is this, am I still going to be able to like, you know, is it going to take away my testosterone? Like when you're new to a dog and they become calm. The doctor's like, well, when you're new to a dog, you take the testicles out. Will I still be able to play baseball?

28:08Ronnie Karam: Yes. Will I still be able to drive on the correct side of the street? Or is that going to mess everything up?

28:17Ben Mandelker: Will I still be able to do the sounds of zombies?

28:27Ronnie Karam: it's like actually mia has requested that we snip your balls and your vocal cords

28:31Ben Mandelker: so probably not probably not so then uh the doctor takes danny i guess for the i don't know was this it didn't seem like this was the procedure i guess it was just the inspection so he like drops his trousers and he's like okay well yep there is a dick there and there's the balls, etc.

28:49Ronnie Karam: So, yes, pretty nice. Pretty decent. Okay. God, you got a mosaic. God, this is good. So, he's like, okay, listen. So, I would not exercise for about five or six days and sex six or five days possibly because you're going to be fertile for three months or 35 ejaculates. And then he's like, and who's going to take care of my wife who's going to be a wheelchair after getting fucked for 35 times?

29:17Ben Mandelker: The doctor's like, ah, first time I heard that one. That's great. The doctor hates him.

29:26Ronnie Karam: He hates him. And so Zach comes in. He's like, how are your balls? Can we find them still? He's like, I found them. They're really big, actually. He's like, oh, my God, don't like him on. I love this doctor. This is like the best doctor we've ever seen on here. He's like, wow, big balls. I got to say, hated the guy. Loved the balls.

29:44Ben Mandelker: Very, very good balls. Now we go to Jesse and Lacey getting dinner at Javier's because if you can't be in Orange County, bring Orange County to you. So Jesse, like they sit down and Jesse, like he's wearing a baseball cap. He takes it off and he's like smiling through a rage and he's like, so I only wore a hat because you told me you were wearing a hat. She goes, I know I lied, which by the way, you know, I think this is a point for Lacey. she's like I am trying to reduce the hair dent so I'm gonna make him have hat head at dinner whatever it takes get rid of the hair

30:19Ronnie Karam: dent yeah she's like just do not whatever you do do not wear a headband please so she's like I lied can you tell can I tell you what just happened to me I was just stopped and accosted by this psychic named Lola and she says she has something sinister to tell me and it's immediate it.

30:42Ben Mandelker: Lacey may be one of the strongest women I've ever met, but she's also very classy and a little bougie. I'm like, okay, I'm waiting to see all three of those qualities. Yeah.

30:54Ronnie Karam: She's like, I'm not trying to be bougie. I'm like trying the reverse bougie Uno card, right? Like when we're out, I'm trying to be relatable. Relatable? Who talks about themselves like that?

31:08Ben Mandelker: see notice the way i i reference uno people play uno that makes me relatable i've never i'm never trying to be bougie i have bleach blonde hair extensions and i have that look so that's that's it and then jesse's like yeah but you do wear zara jeans because yeah but i do only wear jeans from zara's i live in newport coast i was born in san clemente i was like what does jesse have like a

31:35Ronnie Karam: kink for robot talking women yeah there is something that he yeah it's like a kink for um odd vocal inflections there's something weird she's like i was born in san clemente my house is nice it's around 4 000 square feet and it has five bedrooms and five bathrooms you guys can google

31:54Ben Mandelker: it like janet she's i mean it is kind of funny because before uh like when computers used to dictate things they would sound like michelle like today i went to the store and i found something but then like they came out like in 2010 they came out with the lady in our phones who now speaks like lacy so lacy's just like the true evolution of computer dictation which makes sense because she's the now the second second lady in jesse's life

32:30Ronnie Karam: she's up from like the refrigerator that knows when it's time to go to the store She's like a step up from that. So Lacey's like, anyway, I think I'm still talking about the psychic Lola. She said, I can see you're unhappy in your home. Well, first of all, a psychic just walked up to you in the street and said, hi, my name is Lola. I'm a psychic. You're unhappy in your home. The fuck? What is with all the professionals in Los Angeles right now? The therapists. Now we've got this crazy, this crazy crosswalk fucking psychic.

33:04Ben Mandelker: Lacey, are you sure you weren't just watching Run Lola Run and just thought it was about you for some reason? She told me to run. She told me to run the entire movie. She said I should run. So Jesse's like, well, I mean, the bathroom remodel is taking a very long time. So she's not off. She's like, yeah, like, yeah, but I'm stoked. I love my house. Well, it's a dream house. I mean, in my dream neighborhood, by the way. Wink, wink, wink, wink. As long as I have an adolescent child, I will never live with another man. You're a hoarder. I'm not a hoarder. I'm a saver of memories. It's cute, though.

33:39Ronnie Karam: Hoarding is cute. I got married in my 20s. I have a little girl. I got divorced shortly after my dad after. Sorry, I got shortly after my kid. And then I landed on Jesse Lawley. And the producer's like, well, you did well in your divorce, I take it. And she goes, yeah, I did well in my divorce, as every woman should.

33:59Ben Mandelker: Reverse Uno card. Relatable. Jesse's like. Like, well, I do know the house next to yours is on the market for rent right now. Out of your price range. Ha ha. I love this.

34:10Ronnie Karam: I love this power that she has over Jesse where she's like, yeah, you're not moving in with me and you can't afford to live in my neighborhood. So stop. Make an effort. Okay. Make an effort, baseball cat boy.

34:22Ben Mandelker: I actually was surprised that I liked Lacey a bit more than I thought I would. I was going to be, I was like ready to be like, oh, this vapid fucking bitch. and I wasn't, I was actually impressed with how she was sort of like a bit more like commanding and she did kind of bust his balls a bit more. But it also kind of gives Michelle some credence when Michelle says like, yes, she's all nice to my face and you see this nice sweet side, but she's actually a raging bitch and you can sort of see that she's like, Lacey is a bit tough, I feel like. I think that what we see is that she's not just like something like, hey, how are you?

34:57Ronnie Karam: nice to meet you type you know i think she's very aware that jesse is using her i think she's she knows jesse well enough if she's known him for years to know and he keeps hinting on moving in with her and stuff to her house he's not like you want to move into my house he wants to move into her house so i think she's pretty aware that he's using her and she's probably fine to use him too to get on tv because i'm sure that lacy has been told her whole life this personality needs to be on television. Okay. Can we bottle this and sell this?

35:29Ben Mandelker: I mean. Yeah, I mean, if you tell me she's never auditioned for Real Housewives of Orange County, I'm like, you are lying. I'm surprised she was. She probably was in the background for Laguna Beach. If you go back to those reruns, you probably see in the background waving at the camera. She's going to be one of those.

35:41Ronnie Karam: Like with Sheena, where people are like, oh my God, did you guys know Sheena was on Laguna Beach for one episode or whatever?

35:50Ben Mandelker: So, Lacey, yeah, so So, yeah, Jesse's talking about like the trying to move in next. It's like, would you ever move out to LA? She's not in one million years. Why? Well, my daughter's in the best school. She's got her family. Why would I ever uproot her life for my own selfish well-being? It's like, well, I agree. It works exactly how we've always planned it from the beginning. But I think you're a little bit more clingy than I am. I'm super clingy regardless of where we live. And I am extremely happy with you, especially when you smile with your teeth like this. You know, when you do that smile thing and you show like a few of your teeth, isn't it funny?

36:25Ben Mandelker: Show your teeth, show your teeth.

36:27Ronnie Karam: She's like, no. And he goes, well, but you know, I have been working on my complaining and my defensiveness and my stupidity. And she's like, don't call yourself stupid. It's a lack of self-awareness. Anyway, going to do the egg freezing this month. He's like, well, how many are we going to freeze? She goes, not we, me. These are my eggs. I'm not trying to have a child, especially with a poor person. I just want to have the option one day in case I meet somebody with a, you know, job. He's like, well, will we have a blonde child or a dark haired child? Jessie, she's bleached. You can see her roots and you're not blonde either.

37:01Ronnie Karam: What are you talking about? Do you not even know how genetics work?

37:05Ben Mandelker: Yeah. He's like, we have the same color eyes. No, you have black eyes. It's like, yeah, I have a black heart. Don't say that about yourself. Only I can say that about you. I love you very much thank you I'm trying to be nice

37:21Ronnie Karam: it's not just in your DNA I swear I'm really nice and love this scene is killing me honestly so it's like two people with no energy talking so he's like kiss me you have pepper in your mouth and he's like I love you and she goes thank you again and he's like oh my god fucking thank you always with a thank you check please Jesse you are not getting that house so keep trolling yep yep yep so now this is very typical of ex-model men in la just they're trying it's like the last it's like oh my god it's like the last of it it's like i still got a little bit of it surely i can get a rich one now it's over get a job get a job get a job commercials here comes one right now.

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40:47Ben Mandelker: Now Tom and Michelle go to a salt cave in the valley. For fuck's sake. Yeah, seriously. And they're going to do a sound bath, et cetera. So Michelle is the sound bath person in the salt cave is asking if Michelle's gone anything through anything.

41:05Ronnie Karam: Let me just say the Salt Lake place. I mean, the Salt Lake. The Salt Lady is like, hi, guys. Yes, I am wearing the same outfit Janet was wearing in the first scene. But that's embarrassing. OK, so anyway, guys, I want to know why you're here today. I'm here to see Little Shop of Horrors. The fuck do you think I'm here for? Play your fucking bowls. Yeah, seriously. Are you going to play me a different song on your bowls if I have a super traumatic issue? Play your fucking bowls. Don't make me... This isn't about... I hate audience participation. Just do your little show.

41:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously. So, Michelle is talking about how her mom passed away and she also is finishing a nasty divorce. And Tom is saying that he's at the end of a very dramatic few years. And so, they're going to have a grounded space. So they do their whole sound bath thing, et cetera. And the two of them basically start to flirt with each other. And they actually have, they do actually have chemistry, it seems like. It's like the first time we've seen Michelle truly smile and have like a lighthearted conversation with someone. It wasn't about Jesse. So, you know, I guess there's that.

42:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm not buying this horse shit for two seconds. So stop wasting my time, show. So they go through this bullshit scene that I'm not buying. Do you have anything else you want to say about it?

42:27Ben Mandelker: The only thing that comes out of it is that they basically are going to organize a group trip to San Diego. So the first trip of the season. The very subtle.

42:37Ronnie Karam: Yeah, all this talk about parents dying and, you know, whatever I've got going on in my dirty apartment. I think we should all go on a trip. Okay, smooth. Tom, you've been doing this for like 100 years Seriously

42:53Ben Mandelker: Now we go to Danny and Nia's house In the northern tundra Known as Santa Clarita And they put the kids to bed And Nia's like, so how was your appointment? How's everything? Can you please distract me from my emotions and hormones? He's like, well, I really like the doctor Sort of looked like Martin Landau If you know who he is And he's done this over 3 ,000 times And for the procedure You have to ejaculate 35 times before all the swimmers are out. So countdown, John. Okay, 35 under 35.

43:25Ronnie Karam: And meanwhile, she's got a baby on her boob at the moment. And I'm only pointing that out because this guy and his tact. It's like she's sitting there. She's depressed. She's been crying all day. And she's got a baby on her boob, like literally eating right now. And she's stressed that she can't get the baby enough milk and et cetera, et cetera. And he's like, yeah, I got to ejaculate 35 times. should we start should we start now she's like uh that's great for you and he's like and for you because then he said i gotta be bedridden for 10 days and i can't pick up the kids and i can't help around the house and i can't do any carpools or anything yeah and by the way we see a flashback

44:01Ben Mandelker: that the doctor says five or six days but danny's gonna add 10 days yeah you know i'm hoping he can't

44:07Ronnie Karam: do anything yeah i'm hoping he's kidding but at this point i don't know so um she's like a liar If a woman can have a C-section cutting through seven layers of her body and then walk around the same day, you'll be fine with your balls. And he's like, but women are stronger than men, babe. She's like, I know. But, you know, I'm nervous about my milk. I don't know. She's not latching. He's like, yeah, I guess today was the day, huh? Want to fuck? You'll forget about it. She's like, I just can't stop crying, you know. And it took me two hours to get home because I stopped for 15 minutes because she wouldn't nurse because she's crying.

44:41Ronnie Karam: And then I'm crying and we're both crying. And he's like, guess what else is crying? My dick. It hasn't been doing anything.

44:49Ben Mandelker: He's like, I'm sorry. So can we go back to talking about my thing? I want to have sex shirt 35 more times. Is that okay? So Nia's talking about how, you know, she loves her house up here in Santa Clarita, but she's really isolated. So for example, she would love to see more of Kristen and she wants to kind of like be going through the postpartum together with her. And she's just so far away. and she's like, I know I signed up for it and I'm grateful, but just like the house is a mess. I've got four kids and like my heart truly breaks for her because she has all these kids. I think she's getting some help from Danny.

45:25Ben Mandelker: I don't think Danny is a I think that he actually does seem like a hands-on dad but like still a lot is on her shoulders and she is totally isolated and this was all his dream to go to this house as it was his dream to have another child and it's just I feel like everything is on her shoulders and she has to clean up the house and just she's just feeling completely overwhelmed by the whole thing and she's and on top of that she's feeling sad because the kid isn't like it's not the nursing isn't working the same way as it always has been and poor girl's at her wit's end and then you have danny being like joe i'm not gonna be able to help you for 10 days because you're gonna have

46:00Ronnie Karam: to smash my ball sorry about that yeah so she she talks to him and she goes through all of the things she's been crying over and all the reasons she's upset and she's miserable she's basically like I'm miserable and there's a lot on my shoulders right now. And he goes, gosh, babe, you know, focus what's on important, all the lovemaking on the calendar that I started putting together. And he's just smiling and she's like, oh my God. Like, I mean, I get that he's like trying to be cute, but it's just not cute, Danny. I mean, you force this woman out to this place. She's fucking miserable. She has no friends.

46:36Ronnie Karam: She has no community. She has no village. and then you're like sitting here like being wacky about getting off it's just not it's not

46:44Ben Mandelker: great i thought the scene was gonna end with him make cracking that joke but being like i'm just kidding you know i'm there for you're my number one priority whatever you need but he really was kind of serious he was like yeah but what about the love making that's what god teaches us yeah

47:00Ronnie Karam: and he's just sitting there smiling and she's like looking down just nodding like okay i mean Danny, like you're basically begging for this to end. You know, I feel like every man on this show is just like, well, leave me then. You know, like every single like no one seems to really understand what the fuck they're even doing. My God, what a bunch of in-app losers.

47:21Ben Mandelker: Danny, I don't know. He scares me like you just those eyes. I swear to God, he sits there with that big smile, but his eyes, there's like no whites in his eyes. It's just like two pools of blackness. and I'm like there's something like I've always gotten this vibe from him like this guy is not as nice as he appears I'm like I'm telling you there's something something is up with this guy

47:41Ronnie Karam: yeah well I guess time will tell everybody thanks so much for being here we will talk to you a little later today with the recap of Southern Hospital talk to you later bye

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